Gaytventhusing - Tumblr Posts
(!Warning!- Slight hints at domestic abuse. Nothing that isn't in canon)
(Do not read if you do not want to see a critical analysis of Jmart. Some people don't want to see their comfort ship criticised and I respect that.)
Me on my first listen of magnus (aged 15): Omg omg there are gay people this is amazing. Wahoo Jmart!
Me on my second listen of magnus: Wow Martin is lowkey a bit of a secret gaslight gatekeep girloss. ICONIC. He and Jon are murder bfs :D
Me on my third listen of magnus: Hah. Martin really is kind of a bitch sometimes.
Me on my forth listen of magnus: God Martin can be so condescending wtf. I dont really ship Jmart anymore. And did he just hit Jon wtf ?!?!
Me after my 5th listen to now (Aged 18): Yikes. Martin has so many red flags oh god.
(Disclaimer: I do think these characters and their relationship are still well written and I do not dislike anyone for shipping them. However, I do think the fanon interpretation of their relationship removes how flawed Martin actually is and people don't hold him accountable nearly enough)
(Additionally this is all not to say that Jon is exempt from poor behaviour toward Martin. The way he treats Martin in s1 was dickish to say the least. However, unlike Martin this behaviour isn't perpetuated throughout the entirety of the podcast/ relationship, with Jon quickly coming to respect Martin at a similar level to himself.)
Martin Blackwood is not a kind person.
He never holds himself accountable for anything or so few times I literally don't remember them. In MAG 194- Parting, it is Jon that makes the decision to apologise to Martin. Additionally after Martin hits Jon earlier on he is never seen apologising for it, even after Jon's honestly heartbreaking line of "Thank you for not hitting me this time".
Martin also tends to get pissy at Jon for something he cannot help. Jon cannot help 'giving statements' in season 5 and yet everytime he does, Martin acts like it's some sort of attack on him. He is perfectly allowed to have the boundary of 'Don't do that around me'. However in instances where Jon accidentally does it around Martin, Martin responds with aggression, either lashing out and shouting at Jon or as previously mentioned, hitting him. These can be explained as maybe reasonable responses to high stress situations however Martin never apologises for them as discussed previously.
This also comes in the form of Martin antagonising Jon's well meaning suggestions. In S4, during the 'Gauge your eyes out' scene, Martin immediately shoots back, making it about him rather than the desperate attempts at salvation from a man who's been broken down to all hell.
There's a clear bitterness from Martin throughout. He clearly feels inferior to Jon and is trying to gain as much control over the situation as he can which often means doing all he can to control Jon.
And Martin is right at the end of S5 when he says it took 4 years of the shit they've been through to be compatible. However, what I think is more accurate is that it took 4 years of Jon being broken down and into a state of perpetual emotional vulnerability and loss of autonomy for him to be so alone that he reached out to Martin. And vice versa, Martin (being affected by the lonely and always having had an attraction to Jon) reaches out in return later in s5. Aside from that, they've not got much in common and although I do think that they at least get along as friends and colleagues, I can't really see them consistently bonding outside of the world of the fears.
Now I'd like to clarify that this isn't all to say that the way Martin acts isn't understandable, it is. Having to care for his mother for years has lead to him mothering Jon at times as well as his constant need to prioritise himself and defend himself in response to her abuse. He probably also has some left over resentment (understandably) from the way Jon used to treat him in s1. Along with a bunch of other stuff that explains his behaviour. But that doesn't mean that the way he acts sometimes isn't harmful.
Their relationship is more nuanced than I'm able to fit into a tumblr post. I might write an essay about it at some point. If there is anything i didn't mention it's either because it's been a while and I forgot, or I did not have space to fit it!
Anyways, what do you guys think about all this? TMA is one of those shows I've been a bit apprehensive to critically analyse due to the fandom but I found that Jmart is a lot more interesting than I initially thought.
(SUMMARY: Jmart is not as healthy of a relationship as the Fanon tends to show it. Martin has a lot of red flags and the two aren't all that compatible aside from their trauma)
A Short Piece On Cal and the Quote That Broke My Heart. (Ep 1-108 Spoilers) (CW for queer trauma)
The only context you will need is that Cecil's brother comes to visit him and in the process Cecil enters into another reality closer to ours in terms of ideology.
Up until Cal, you've spent over 100 episode with Cecil Palmer. You hear him be unapologetically himself. You hear him unapologetically fall in love and finally unapologetically get married to that man.
Welcome to Nightvale is what I would describe as an idealistic queer society. This does not mean the society in itself is 'Idealistic'. That's hardly how I would describe the horrors that sweep Nightvale on the frequent. No, what I mean is that this is a world, or at the least a town, where queer isn't even in its people's vocabulary. At no point does WTNV ever use the word 'Gay'. People fall in love and people exist as themselves without needing to explain. That is an idealistic queer society.
And then you reach episode 108, Cal. I first listened to nightvale a couple years back. In fact I believe I have only listened to this episode once. And one quote from it has stuck with me ever since. Not because it was particularly dramatic, mind you. In fact, what hit me about it was the complete opposite. Because Welcome to Nightvale broke my heart with an internal monologue that is almost mundane to us queer listeners. Cecil anecdotes about a conversation he has with his brother in this other reality where his brother asks him if he has a girlfriend yet and Cecil recounts thinking this:
"In my life with Cal, I had never told him I would never have a girlfriend. In Night Vale, no one cared either way, but I felt like Cal would have. In this other reality, I was single, so I only said “No.” "
After over a hundred episodes of escapist queer joy, you hear Cecil, a man who has lived his life being able to just exist, feel shame. A deep seated shame conditioned into every queer person. Every time you are told things are getting better when you complain that things are still bad. Every time you are made to feel like you are unworthy of love or only worthy of suffering. No matter how confident. That trauma. That deep deep shame remains.
It is a systemic shame not found in these idealistic societies.
It's a reality check of an episode, that although intentional or not, lets you feel everything you've been conditioned to suppress. I cried for Cecil and I cried for myself. Because realising how much this character I loved didn't deserve to feel that way about who he was made it hit me how much I, as a queer person, also do not deserve to feel that way. My empathy for him reflected back upon myself and I was heartbroken.
My heart broke for a character's suffering that is just my everyday reality.
In my opinion it's one thing for a piece of media to show you your suffering; it's a whole other thing for it to make you truly feel like you don't deserve it.
Labels, Asexuality, Aromanticism and Headcanon.
I need to just get this off my chest because it's a common trend I've noticed in a couple fandoms I'm in and I think it needs to be discussed. Of course I'm open to discussion on this. There's a chance I'm wrong.
Something about the way fandom treats s/x repulsed characters in media just sits with me bad. In multiple fandoms I've been in now, I've witnessed a clearly stated canonically s/x repulsed asexual character be put into 'intimate' situations under guise of a 's/x positive' interpretation. What bothers me, personally, is that these characters don't and would never. One example is with Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archives. I have accidentally stumbled across explicit fics involving him before that are tagged 's/x positive asexual Jonathan Sims'. But the thing about him is that at no point in the podcast is he even mentioned to be asexual. In fact, the information you get about him is actually that he simply doesn't. That is all you know, that he doesn't, ever. And yet, due to the nuances of the asexual label and the fact that that description of Jon technically puts him under it, folks have been using those technicalities to put him into scenarios he never would enter into. As much as I hate to say it, it almost feels like there's a sort of s/x repulsed asexual erasure going on within the aspec community. And for context, this is coming from an aspec who is positive about that kind of intimacy. This is not just limited to asexuality either. I've also witnessed this happening to aromantic characters with fandom putting them in 'queer platonic relationships' that read as romantic ones. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a platonic pairing, in fact, I'm all for it. But time and time again I see sappy art with blushing or otherwise romantic undertones and I feel... just sort of weird about it. I understand where this all comes from. People have a desire to see themselves in characters and I respect that. But you can do that without the erasure of both asexuals and aromatics that simply do not. When it comes to being aro and/or ace, I recognise that, I, as someone who, although aspec, is still is open to relationships and 'intimacy', am far less scrutinised for it by society than those who aren't. And although sadly there is barely any representation in media for the kind of aspec I am, it doesn't mean that it feels okay to erase other asexual identities and their representation in the process. Summary: So this is all to say. It personally makes me uncomfortable when I see Repulsed Asexual and Aromatic characters turned pseudo-s/xual and romantic by the fans through the use of Label Nuances and Technicalities. (Note: This is not intended to be an attack on anyone personally. I simply think it's a much needed to be discussed topic that I've noticed happening more and more recently) On a more positive note: For anyone looking for aspec representation that involves a character who loves the idea of romance and has experienced giddy feelings in the past but comes to the realisation they might be aromantic through the help of an aroace friend, go listen to The Penumbra Podcast season 4 episode 'Rita Minute 4: 4Ever Love'. I've never felt so seen in terms of my sexuality before. It's an underrated gem of an aspec central minisode.
Yup! It just means like no pressure :) Edit: I just noticed that it's international Asexuality day! This post being so close to it was not intentional on my part. Happy Ace day!
Labels, Asexuality, Aromanticism and Headcanon.
I need to just get this off my chest because it's a common trend I've noticed in a couple fandoms I'm in and I think it needs to be discussed. Of course I'm open to discussion on this. There's a chance I'm wrong.
Something about the way fandom treats s/x repulsed characters in media just sits with me bad. In multiple fandoms I've been in now, I've witness a clearly stated canonically s/x repulsed asexual character be put into 'intimate' situations under guise of a 's/x positive' interpretation. What bothers me, personally, is that these characters don't and would never. One example is with Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archives. I have accidentally stumbled across explicit fics involving him before that are tagged 's/x positive asexual Jonathan Sims'. But the thing about him is that at no point in the podcast is he even mentioned to be asexual. In fact, the information you get about him is actually that he simply doesn't. That is all you know, that he doesn't, ever. And yet, due to the nuances of the asexual label and the fact that that description of Jon technically puts him under it, folks have been using those technicalities to put him into scenarios he never would enter into. As much as I hate to say it, it almost feels like there's a sort of s/x repulsed asexual erasure going on within the aspec community. And for context, this is coming from an aspec who is positive about that kind of intimacy. This is not just limited to asexuality either. I've also witnessed this happening to aromantic characters with fandom putting them in 'queer platonic relationships' that read as romantic ones. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a platonic pairing, in fact, I'm all for it. But time and time again I see sappy art with blushing or otherwise romantic undertones and I feel... just sort of weird about it. I understand where this all comes from. People have a desire to see themselves in characters and I respect that. But you can do that without the erasure of both asexuals and aromatics that simply do not. When it comes to being aro and/or ace, I recognise that, I, as someone who, although aspec, is still is open to relationships and 'intimacy', am far less scrutinised for it by society than those who aren't. And although sadly there is barely any representation in media for the kind of aspec I am, it doesn't mean that it feels okay to erase other asexual identities and their representation in the process. Summary: So this is all to say. It personally makes me uncomfortable when I see Repulsed Asexual and Aromatic characters turned pseudo-s/xual and romantic by the fans through the use of Label Nuances and Technicalities. (Note: This is not intended to be an attack on anyone personally. I simply think it's a much needed to be discussed topic that I've noticed happening more and more recently) On a more positive note: For anyone looking for aspec representation that involves a character who loves the idea of romance and has experienced giddy feelings in the past but comes to the realisation they might be aromantic through the help of an aroace friend, go listen to The Penumbra Podcast season 4 episode 'Rita Minute 4: 4Ever Love'. I've never felt so seen in terms of my sexuality before. It's an underrated gem of an aspec central minisode.
I feel like people need to start forming their own opinions and coming at things from a different angle.
A lot of things are perceived as only agendas rather than people taking the time to actually analyse what it is, if that makes sense.
An example is neo-pronouns. People will act as if neos are some queer agenda that is a product of dramatic youth and the doom of our society or something along those lines. Or in contrast that they represent people's freedoms and that people should be allowed to use them if they want.
But you barely ever see anyone talking about how fascinating it is to, in real time, see this new layer of individualised linguistics getting introduced. We are witnessing language in its ever changing state and I, personally, love it.
Come at things from a different angle for once. Don't listen to what everyone else is saying and properly think about things for what they are. And appreciate them if they are new and/or they are interesting.
If you wanna date someone of the same gender, date someone of the same gender. Romantic attraction is not a requirement for a committed relationship.