An Ask-the-part-thats-out Ask Game

🌷An ask-the-part-thats-out Ask game ❄️

Hi! Who are you right now?

How do know its you thats out? What are your usual cues?

Do you like it when people know its You and not the collective whole? Is it situational, or depends on the person?

What sort of aesthetics do you draw to?

What do you look like?

What sort of emotions do you feel mostly when you’re out?

What sort of situations are you out in most of the time?

Are there other parts like you in the same system?

Are you part of a subsystem?

What’s your relationship like to the parts nearest to you right now?

Do you have vague memories of before you came out, or do they feel blocked out?

What’s your favorite way to ground?

Do you have a favorite snack or drink?

Do you have a favorite item in the present world?

Do you have an inner world? Do you have a place you like in there?

Whats a simple way other parts might describe you to like a therapist or something?(they’re the fierce one, the sad one, ect)

What’s the safest thing you can imagine right now?

What’s something you wish the system would do more of?

What’s your handwriting like?

Free space! Tell me a random fact about you or something you’re thinking about

Exactly!!!

“See the person not the disability”

NO! SEE MY DISABILITY! IT IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE THAT SHOULD BE ACKNOWLEDGED! OF ALL THE ABLEIST CRAP THIS IS THE WORST ONE!

my gender isn’t even in my top ten

LMAO

tagging mutuals cos I can please don’t feel pressured ✨

@merlin-apocalypse @lorelei-system @starboyvoid @momiji-kitsune @head-of-sea-foam-the-system @us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2 @cr1ppl3d-ang3l @thefundisorderdiary @theconcealedweapon @thesquidgeworldsystem

Type "my gender is" on your phone and let your phone finish the sentence, then tag your moots to keep the chain going, I'll go first.

My gender is a little bit more intense than I thought I could have done

@mirukosbitchywife @get-junpeid

Understanding the difference between systemic oppression and social stigma: Why endogenic systems aren't oppressed for being plural, and why that doesn't mean that their struggles are unimportant

Time for the newest syscourse topic, one that I’ve actually been thinking about quite a bit lately. I had a conversation with my very pro-endo friend about it a while back, and it caused me to realize that the entire issue is really that we don’t understand the distinction between oppression and social stigma, and why exactly endogenic plurals are stigmatized, but not oppressed. And why this doesn’t mean that struggles that they do face are “invalid” (boy, do I hate that whole concept. I hate the whole valid thing. It doesn’t do anything any justice.) 

To start off with, it's important to clarify each of these terms. Oppression refers to the systematic mistreatment, subjugation, and denial of rights by those in power against a specific group. On the other hand, social stigma involves societal disapproval or mistreatment directed at individuals who possess certain characteristics or identities. While the two concepts may intersect, they are not synonymous. 

Endogenic plurals, despite facing challenges in the form of social stigma, do not experience systemic oppression in the same way as historically marginalized groups. The comparison I drew in my conversation with the previously mentioned friend was to communities like furries and therians, who similarly encounter varying degrees of societal rejection. While they may be subjected to ridicule, bullying, or social ostracization, these experiences are not the same as being actively oppressed by institutions and systemic structures.

I would also like to highlight that the challenges endogenic plurals face are largely only present within the Western context. Outside of that, they not only ‘would be’ but are very easily accepted, sometimes for religious/spiritual reasons. I had someone from the Middle East (not going to specify which country because I don’t know if anyone knows who this is and would prefer to not dox them lol) describe to me that they once thought that they were endogenic – they were open to their family and community about this, and were very widely accepted for it. It was seen as creative, and a beautiful thing! But once they discovered that they had formed their system through trauma, and that they had DID, it became different. Suddenly it was something to be shunned – this is largely because it isn’t the system that’s the issue. It isn’t the concept of plurality that is an issue, by and large, it’s the trauma. It’s the fact that this is a disabling condition. It’s the fact that when you have DID, you have a rare mental illness. It’s the fact that you are experiencing trauma responses that are unpalatable to those who don’t understand them. 

That’s far from the only story I’ve heard of that type, and I’ve particularly seen a LOT of Asian systems speaking about acceptance of endogenic plurality vs. rejection of DID in their cultures. This is a very West-centric argument, and also goes to show how narrow of a perspective many of the current larger syscoursers pushing endo oppression as a concept have on the subject of oppression. 

You may say, “But, there’s a potential for systemic oppression and violence against endogenic plurals! We just don’t have enough data, because they’re not “out” yet.” My friend said this! I appreciated the point, because it allowed me to highlight my above argument about endogenic plurality outside of the west and also the fact that historical patterns of systemic oppression and the reasoning for such and the examination of parallels with other marginalized groups and their histories with oppression reveal that such concerns are really just… Not warranted. Genuinely, the struggles that endogenic plurals face are much closer to that of the furry community, or that of the therian community. These groups also have to deal with with societal misunderstandings and negative perceptions. Just as with endogenic plurals, the issues they face stem from a lack of understanding rather than a deliberate effort to oppress. If either of those groups were to be open about their identities, they’d face similar struggles – and they do. It’s not exactly the wisest thing to talk to your boss about being a furry or a therian, and it’s liable to get you some hate/bullying/mistreatment directed towards you at some point. It’s stigma.

While endogenic plurals may experience interpersonal mistreatment and possibly even limited job opportunities due to being open about their identities, these challenges are primarily driven by social stigma and negative perceptions. It's worth noting that any systemic violence or marginalization they encounter often stems from an intersection with already marginalized groups, such as the queer or neurodiverse communities. Sure, many endogenic plurals are queer or otherwise neurodiverse, but that intersection and further the violence directed towards it can’t exist without the existence of those other identities. A cishet, white, NT and otherwise non-marginalized endogenic plural isn’t oppressed. A trans, ND, POC who is an endogenic plural is, but not because of their plurality, though it does create a different (and notable) intersection with a few of these aspects. 

It's really important to recognize that conflating social stigma with systemic oppression oversimplifies the experiences of truly systemically oppressed groups, while at the same time not even doing any justice to the issues endogenic plurals themselves DO face. If we can just… Understand that these are two very separate issues, the distinct challenges that endogenic plurals DO face can be more accurately and effectively addressed and advocated for. If we can just ACKNOWLEDGE this, that’s already contributing to a broader, more informed discourse that fosters so much more inclusivity and empathy than what we’ve got right now.

The thing about NPD is nothing is ever enough.

Yeah I’m intelligent but I’m not intelligent enough.

Yeah I’m beautiful but I’m not beautiful enough.

Yeah I’m important to them but I’m not important enough.

There’s a chronic feeling of emptiness because I think so highly of myself but I was never enough for my abuser and now I will never be enough for myself.

Here's to systems that don't keep up with their information!

Honestly, tracking every little switch, split, fusion, etc. gets exhausting really quickly. It's totally understandable if someone can't (or doesn't want to!) keep up with that sorta stuff. Here's to them!

Shoutout to those who:

Can't keep up due to chronic fatigue/illness, disability, depression, executive dysfunction, etc.

Don't want to keep up with it because it's too much work

Used to be very on top of their info, but over time just sorta let themselves relax

Have too much amnesia or poor communication to track everything

Have no way to track it even if they wanted due to strict parents they can't hide things from, not allowed to have Discord for Pluralkit, etc.

Wish they could keep up, but their system is too complex/fragmented/so on and so forth

You don't need to have those things if you don't want them, or physically can't! It's ok!

You're doing amazing!

🖤💜💙💚💛