Zhongli Genshin Impact - Tumblr Posts

A Much Needed Respite

Kima I fucking beg of you as your one and only bestie PLEASE GIVE ME MORE

Seeing as you also gave me inspo, I can't say no <3

1.5K words

The days have all been long and rough but recently they’ve been blurring together. Commission after commission, request after request, you couldn’t stay with it anymore. However, no matter how tired you were or how loud your stomach growled, you persisted. You needed the mora to fund your expenses, especially for the little gremlin that was your “Travel Guide”. Paimon spent mora like it fell from the sky and she never even worked to get any of it, she just took what you had earned.

After so long, your body couldn’t take it much longer. You had slowed down, lost your momentum, yet Paimon still pushed you to continue the commissions. “Traveler look! Mr.Zhongli put up a commission!” She exclaimed. Before you could comment or even get a single breath into your lungs to respond she had already taken the commission from Katheryne and returned with a mora hungry grin. “Let’s get a move on! The commission says to go to Wangshu Inn to meet Xiao, so he can lead the way for us!” With a groan you nodded and began your trek.

Upon your arrival you saw Xiao waiting by the entrance. “Traveler.” His monotone voice called out to you. “Zhongli advised me to take you to his abode, lest you get lost.” He explains with a pointed glare towards Paimon.

Xiao was fully aware of the ‘commission’ Morax had sent out for you specifically. Though you felt as if your endeavors had gone unnoticed, Zhongli had kept a watchful eye on you. He knew you were drained, he saw the way you looked as if you were going to collapse. And so he put out a commission to help you.

Not picking up on the rather hostile aura that Xiao emitted, Paimon smiled and spoke. “Great! Let’s head out then!” She blurted. The group soon moved out as soon as Xiao gave the traveler a small bowl of almond tofu, his favorite, to eat as they made their way to their destination. 

Hours later, everyone arrived and entered Zhongli’s abode. Paimon hectically flew into the open area, looking around at the seemingly never-ending world. The fluffy white and orange clouds floated peacefully through the levitating islands that were connected by glowing paths.

“Welcome Traveler, I’ve been expecting you.” You hear Zhongli’s voice from your right, turning to look you see him in his half dragon form. Beautiful antler-like horns protruding from his head, Black arms with golden veins, and a dark tail that followed behind his tall form. “Hello Mr.Zhongli-” You spoke in turn before rudely being interrupted. “Hey Morax!” Paimon yapped. Her high voice getting on her nerves, resulting in your eye twitching. “Saw you have a commission, so what can we do for ya?” Her words only served to anger you more. ‘What can we do for ya?’ WE?! Last time you had checked, you were the only one putting work!

“Ah yes, the commission.” Zhongli repeated as he looked to Xiao for a split second. “There is actually two that I require, so Xiao shall take you while I take the Traveler.” He says, the words flowing from his mouth and soothing you. Just the thought of getting a break from Paimon felt like a gift from Celestia. Xiao nodded as he began to lead Paimon away before she could refute the former Archons words. 

The moment the pair were out of sight Zhongli was at your side. “So what… do you need?” You asked, a yawn interrupting your words as you walked beside him, assuming he was leading you to what would be your next commission. “I need nothing dear Traveler.” His response made you look up at him in puzzlement. “But you had said-” “Yes, yes. I said I had two. However, that was an essential falsehood I had to tell to get Paimon to temporarily leave.” He elaborated his long thought out plan that went through rather smoothly.

“Then why am I really here?” You inquired softly. With a sympathetic look Zhongli took your hand. “My dear, you are at your limit and are in desperate need of a respite. One of which I am going to give you.” He said before unexpectedly lifting you into his arms and making you yelp in surprise. “My apologies Traveler, but I can no longer watch you drain your energy.” He says, silently explaining his actions as he carries you through the winding paths of his abode. 

At his mention of your energy, you noticed how sore you truly felt. After the first, what? 6 commissions? You stopped feeling the pain that had accumulated in your muscles. “I appreciate it.” You say as your head falls against his chest. “It’s really nothing my dear-” “No, really thank you.” Looking up at him, you cut him off. “Don’t downplay your actions, I really appreciate this.” 

A gentle smile stretched across his features as he lowered you onto a batch of clouds. “You’re welcome, my Glaze LIly.” He responds as he sits beside you. “Now rest, I shall stay here.” He stated as his clawed fingers gently raked through your hair. “Would it be okay for me to request a blanket?” You asked, the cold of the abode only now being registered. “Unfortunately I have no blankets. However I myself could keep you warm.” With a small nod you permitted him to proceed with his offer. 

With ease, Zhongli lifted himself onto the bed of clouds and laid behind you. His strong arms pulled your back to his chest as he spooned you while his tail draped over your waist. With the assist of his warmth and added comfort, you fell asleep in his arms feeling safe for the first time in ages.

❈────────•✦•❅•✦•───────❈

The next morning you awoke with the wonderful scent of slow-cooked bamboo shoot soup. SItting up your bones popped, further waking you. “Good morning my Glaze Lily. Did you sleep well?” You heard his gentle voice come from behind you. Turning, you see him approach you with a large bowl with plumes of steam waving above it. “Yeah, that was some of the best sleep I’ve had in ages.” You reply as your arms stretched above your head. 

“I’m glad to hear it.” Zhongli sets the bowl in your lap before he sits behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist. “Where;s the chopsticks?” You ask as you look down at the bowl. “Right here my love.” He responds as he holds the utensils in his hand. Going to grab the chopsticks from his hand you hum in confusion as he pulls them away. “I insist that you continue to rest.” With a soft chuckle he picks up some of the softened shoots and feeds them to you.

Another hour passes and the bowl is empty and laying on the ground as Zhongli held you in his arms. A gentle, soothing, tune was hummed into your ear as your head rest on his shoulder. You couldn’t even remember the last time you felt this relaxed.

“Traaaavellllerrrrr!” You heard Paimon yell as she made her presence known. Flying over to you was the white haired pixie that currently felt like your arch-enemy. “Time to get up Traveler! We have more commissions to go do!” Trying to remain calm, you simply turned away and nuzzled your face into Zhongli’s chest. “Hey! Traveler!” She raised her already annoying voice. “Whaaaat?” You groaned. “Time to get up! Mora doesn't grow on trees, so lets go make some!” That was where you snapped.

“Really Paimon?!” You raised your voice in return, making her back up a bit. “‘Mora doesn't grow on trees’? Don’t you think I know that?!” You shouted. “Travel-” “No!” You interrupted her like she had done to you many times before. “Last I checked you spend most of the money I make!” Your tone dipped at the word ‘I’. “D-don’t you mean we?” She asked. “No I do not! I will do the commissions, earn the mora, actually put in the work while you hover over me and just watch!” You shouted. 

Not knowing what to do, Paimon looked to Zhongli. “Paimon, I believe the Traveler is correct and I also believe you should leave before anything…. Unsatisfactory happens.” Zhongli voices as his hands absent-mindedly drew patterns on your back.

Paimon, seeing she was out numbered, floated away. Once Zhongli was certain the pixie was gone he turned his attention back to you. “I’m proud of you my dear, that took a bountiful amount of courage.” He comments before placing a kiss to your temple. “Please feel no regret, this was for the best,” You nodded, he was right, he always was.

For the remainder of the day you slept and relaxed in the peaceful abode with your love. Zhongli gave you all sorts of affection throughout the day, always having you be his main focus, not like that was any different from normal.

•─────────•°•°•─────────•

Hope ya enjoyed, bye babes <3

Any ideas are welcome, just leave them in my inbox.

(Tap the 'ask me anything' on my page 😘)

bruh moment

quick thingy, trying to work on backgrounds

Remembrance (Chat Log 1)

{A "Totally Normal" Genshin Modern AU Chatfic ;)}

TW/CWs: School, Homework, mentions of Nightmares, and headcanons.

MASTERLIST

venti: yo @viator can i copy your homework for theater?

ajax: wait you guys have homework for theater? 

venti: yeye. memorization, scriptwriting and shit

Zhongli Lapis Dei: Aether, please don't let Venti copy your work.

Barbara⭐: Has anybody seen Aether or Lumine recently? 

xiao: something up?

Barbara⭐: No, it's just that Mister Dainsleif wanted to talk to them, but I can't find them anywhere...

venti: oh nooo are they ghostin us

venti: @viator @viatrix @viatwinz YOOOOO HOMEWORK PLZ

venti: nvm

Ningguang: I have some paperwork for them to fill out, but they haven't been coming to student council either. 

Pirate arrg: Wait do they usually skip or somethin

Ningguang: No, and why is your name

Pirate arrg: Oh wait this was a theater thing

Pirate arrg: And no, ven i won't let you copy my shit. 

Pirate arrg: not that it's good anyway lmao. different assignment

[Pirate arrg] has changed their name to [Beidou, baby]

Beidou, baby: There we go

Thoma: Sorry guys, has anyone seen Aether? I need him to grab some dog food for taroumaru but I cna't find him

Zhongli Lapis Dei: This could be rather problematic, for you see, neither Aether nor Lumine have been spotted recently. 

Thoma: ? I know they aren't missing. They're bedsheets aren't made, as per usual.

venti: oh yeah before i forget 

Thoma: *their

venti: @ajax u use the school counselor right

venti: what's their email again

ajax: ye it's [email protected]

ajax: u ight?

venti: yeah just weirdass nightmares i wanna sort out

venti: Something about dragons and abyss whatever.

venti: Wasn't scary, just... strange.

ajax: you know it's serious when you pull out hte punctuation.

ajax: sure i'll let em know you might call

~~~~~~~~

Direct Message: 

Aether Viator Genshin > Dainslef Twili

AVG: Is there something you need of me?

DT: in regards to your current status as students, I am aware I am not to show favor to neither you or Lady Lumine

AVG: Yes, and?

DT: The separation is getting weaker. Barbatos and Morax have shown signs of remembering parts of the Impact through nightmares.

DT: Should this pattern continue, I may have to step in.

AVG: That is fine. 

AVG: As of now, do everything you can to preserve this dream.

AVG: I'm finally back with Lumine.

AVG: And that's all that truly matters.

Remembrance (Chat log 2)

TW: School/College, mentions of Kaeya's previous father, Scaramouche and Ei not having the best relationship but not the worst, implied dissociative identity disorder, kaeya and diluc being close but nobody, including themselves knows whether it's familial or romantic... ask me if you want something else added to this list

MASTERLIST

venti: @viator I KNOW YOU WENT ONLINE 

venti: COME BAKC HERE

viator: :3

venti: Oh god oh fuck who are you

viator: Nobody<;3 viator: But that aside, please visit Wangsheng Funeral Parlor! We've got discounts~

Zhongli Lapis Dei: My apologies, Venti. It seems the Director has taken Aether's cellphone.

viator: no idea what you mean, dusty Zhongli.

viator: sorry, m'back. used my phone last night n the battery died. also hu tao stole my phone

venti: Wonderful!  venti: that first part not the second and third

viator: and no you can't copy my theater assignment. viator: I had a different one so i ain't being picky

viatrix: and we'll get the paperwork done by tonight, ning

viatrix: We're already on top of it

venti: Leave it to the wonder twins to do this kinda stuff

~

Kaeya’s smirk is easy for all to see that lunch break, laughing at his friend group’s shenanigans from afar. With a gentle ping, a name pops up in his Direct Messages- one who doesn’t usually speak to him.

~

Direct Message: Hu Tao > Kaeya Alberich

HT: okay jokes aside, Can you read this? HT: screenshot-xx-xx-60xx.png

KA: 1) It looks like Khaenri'ahn but if Khaenri'ahn was the simplified version of the alphabet which is already insane KA: 2) howst the fuck did you get this?

HT: So I found Aether in a cafe and stole his phone HT: Looked at his DMs, found that He and Lumine NEVER dm each other HT: and that he and Mr. Dain talk in wingdings

KA: Okay also why'd you chose me?

HT: History nerd.

KA: I am not, i just have an interest in Khaenri'ah and only Khaenri'ah.

HT: Because of that old bedtime story?

KA: i guess?? KA: i mean if an entire nation vanishes in one night i'd like to investigate it KA: and lowkey my sperm donor of a dad might be??? from??? KA: oh but if it's something older than khaenri'ahn KA: Luc probably can't read it either KA: He can read p much anything but not like grammatically correct, and if it's as specialized as this elaborate not-Khaenri'ahn then KA: idk

HT: hhh u and diluc are really close huh

KA: his dad literally saved my life KA: and we grew up together

HT: U dating or just bros

KA: good question

HT: So?

HT: hey wait don't leave

HT: DON”T LEAVE ME ON READ YOU PIRATE FRUITCAKE

~~~

CHATROOM: Teyavt Vision Academy of the Arts Official

Noelle: Don't forget to take breaks though, okay?

Thoma: Yeah, you should take a break once in a while, and we'll pick up the slack

xiao: or you could let us do it, so you don't overwork yourselves.

Albedo: "do as i say not as i do"

Xingqiu: and it appears the sassmasters have arrived

[venti] has changed [Albedo]'s name to [Sassbedo]

[venti] has changed [xiao]'s name to [Alasass]

Alasass: wait why my last name

venti: xiao isn't very punnable

Sassbedo: And mine is?

venti: . venti: perhaps venti: OH YEA B4 I FORGET

Alasass: don’t change the topic 

venti: @Dorm Leaders have all collectively decided that we're having another inter-dorm game night yaaay venti: it's going to be in Anemo dorms as per the usual venti: so uh ye

Ei: when did we decide that?

Zhongli Lapis Dei: I believe Raiden was at the front

Ei: Oh, so that's what her note was about? Okay then Ei: Should I still get kunikuzushi?

ajax: scara is a shorty lil asshole i don't think he'll come even if you asked

Fandango: Who's a shorty asshole? Fandango: ... Fandango: and who the fuck changed my name 

[Ei] has changed their name to [Fan of Dango]

Fan of Dango: Now we match

Fandango: shut the fuck up

Fan of Dango: but I didn't change your  name

Fandango: sure. might not be you but might be raiden

venti: SIBLING FIGHT! nice @kae @luc (? y’all whats the status), uhh @Shenhe @Chongyun i don't wanna ping klee for obvious reasons, teucer ain't in this chat and he's too precious and um @Jean Gunholder @Barbara⭐ maybe? Oh and @viator @viatrix @viatwinz 

venti: you know maybe it’d be easier if we just made a role for all of em

Fandango: shut up

Shenhe: We're not siblings

venti: @siblingfight there we go

Fan of Dango: What did I do wrong, Kuni?

Fandango: SCARAMOUCHE AIN"T EVEN MY NAME

Chongyun: We're technically auntie and nephew but i guess we're close enough to count??

ajax: but you are a commedia dell'arte stock villain clown

Fandango: Yes and you're a dainty old character

Xingqiu: Considering how Shenhe gives me that "Sibling in law" stare, I believe you two are close enough to be considered siblings Xingqiu: You're a lot closer than some other siblings i know though

ajax: wait what ajax: IS THAT WHAT TARTAGLIA IS??

Chongyun: That's fair

Fandango: yes old man

Jean Gunholder: I'm online. Jean Gunholder: That's not my last name. Can somebody change it?

ajax: If someone here is the old man, it's zhong

Ningguang: I would, if I had the power to.

Zhongli Lapis Dei: I'm not that old...

Jean Gunholder: Can you guys take it to DMs? Jean Gunholder: and Zhongli, can you change my name?

Zhongli Lapis Dei: If I knew how.

venti: No it's funny 

Fandango: Old man 

ajax: Old man

venti: SAME BRAIN!

Fandango: shut up

ajax: Shut up

Hello. If the TDOR is still open for requests, is it okay to ask for Zhongli and Kazuha? The 'former' archon asking you about what you think about his 'retirement' and you helping Kazuha (with his guidance) on bandaging his hand.

Fluff, if you don't mind? Thank you!

- I shall be known as Anon 🍞

A/N: Welcome to the Anon list, Anon 🍞!

MASTERLIST

To Dream of Reality ~ Zhongli 1, Kazuha 1 ~

"reflection, and wounds"

TW: wounds, bandaging, poor writing of bandaging, creative liberties of why Kazuha still uses bandages, wikihow help me. OH and scars.

You had just rewatched a friend play through Liyue's Archonquest, and finished playing Kazuha's story quest yourself.

Maybe that's why you dreamt of Zhongli's words.

Maybe that's why you dreamt of holding Kazuha's hand as you rewrapped his bandages, of holding him tight.

~~

~~

Morax "Rex Lapis"- nay, Zhongli, stood alone as he stared upon Liyue from a nearby cliff. The streets were busy, for news of the Creator's return had inspired the people to better themselves.

It seemed they still needed a Divine to lead them, after all, Zhongli thought, Maybe, if I set them up correctly, the Creator would be happier with my efforts.

Ah, he thought.

I, too, rely on the guidance of the Divines.

It's quiet realization, one that he merely acknowledges as truth without elaborating on it.

"Did I do the right thing?" He whispers into the quiet dawn.

"I can't give you the answer," They mutter, and Zhongli wanted to fall to his knees. The Creator, in all their glory.

A true God.

"Your Eminence, I request you elaborate." He said. Was he overstepping?

"...You were tired, and you drew the line."

Zhongli could not help but feel relief. The Language of the Divine was absolute, understood by everyone but only spoken by one. This was the creator, this was the absolute Divine, the Mother of the World, the Father of their People, The True God.

And they agreed with him.

They smiled, and kept speaking.

"Maybe the action of leaving it completely to your people was faulty, or maybe letting the Fatui take your Gnosis was wrong, but you drew the line when you were tired. I think it's fine, but it's your choice to make."

The Creator's hand reached up to Zhongli's face, their ghostly hand soft on his cheek.

"Decide your own fate, as your people must now do."

He turned towards the Harbor, at the people frantically cleaning the streets.

"Then I will keep living as a mortal... I will protect my people from within, not as Morax, but as Zhongli."

You only smiled.

~

Kazuha's hands were worn and scarred. He swore he could still feel the phantom sensation of a burning Vision, the last sparks of ambition before the flame of life burned out. No longer were his hands in danger of bleeding at any moment, but the scars were unsightly.

Three parts slime condensate to one part Mist Flower Corolla.

The cooling balm didn't heal anything, nor did it give him lasting relief. But the moment of cold, of hiding the scars, of pretending the scars left behind by the dying flame of a life never existed.

Before he could begin to wrap his hands again, the scent of stars and the sound of a foreign language notified him of your appearance.

You gently grasped his hand.

"May I?"

He nodded and handed you the bandages.

If it was anybody else, he thought to himself, they would certainly be panicking.

But to him, the Creator was not a god to be feared, but the World itself. A parent and guide, a sibling and friend, a child and gift.

It was no different than encountering a new stranger, a potential ally, a new friend.

"I've already applied the Slime Condensate. Wrap just firmly enough to support the wrist, and make sure to wrap half of the previous bandage."

The Creator's hands were pleasantly cold as he guided them through it. They traced his scars lovingly before looking into his eyes.

"They're beautiful," the Creator said. "But I wish you didn't need the bandages." they admit.

Fully bandaged and securely tucked away, the Creator grasped Kazuha's hands, holding them tight to their chest.

"May your wounds recover, in body and soul, heart and mind."

~~~~

The alarm doesn't scare you back to the waking world, but you cannot help but yearn for the dream you just had.

...

What was it about again?

You close your eyes and lie down again, hoping to recall the sensation of soft words and gentle hands, but you just can't remember it.

...

You've got work to do today.

You can't wait to go back to sleep, to see who will greet you in your dreams tonight.

Maybe this time you'll remember.

can i ask moodboard for morax (zhongli, lex lapis) from genshin impact please?

Dating Zhongli <3

=͟͟͞͞ ⌧ : I’ve waited so long for this ask TT thank you thank you thank you—

That moment when your friend fake his death to retire and forgot to tell you

I think my brain is rotting i love it

Thats a continuation of that post

18+||MINORS DNI

Hmmm Zhongli sinking his teeth into your neck..he keeps himself so composed most of the time, which is all the more reason that he needs an outlet :( He doesn’t show it, but he’s so possessive of you ♡

18+||MINORS DNI

Size kink got hands today... thinking about Zhongli holding my hips so firmly yet so gently, handling me with the utmost care as he slowly slowly sinks his cock into me while soothing me with soft praises for how well I’m taking him..

Did ever tell u guys I play genshin? No? good have some oc x canon art bc im a Zhongli simp. Also my HoYoLAB profile name is BlackSunMoon, u can go check me out if u want but I like never post on there lol-

Cute-

HUMANS I GIVE U MY GENSHIN AU INCORRECT QUOTES~

Ships: Zhongli x Nightmare, Terry x Venti, Xiao x Aether, Devil x Ash

[ocs: Nightmare, & Terry are twins, & Ash & Devil are their parents]

Zhongli & Nightmare are Xiao's adoptive parents.

Ages: G!Aether min 500, A!Xiao 2000, Arc!Venti 2500, D!Zhongli 6000, D!Nightmare: 7000, D!Terry: 7000, D!Ash 8000, D!Devil 8000

[D! = Dragon, A! = Adeptus, Arc! Archon, G! God from another realm]

TW: Swearing, mentions of Drugs, mentions of smoking, mentions of weapons, mentions of being stabbed, Ships you might not like, Weird/toxic family relations [Nightmare & Terry], mentions of Funerals, mentions of death, I think that's all-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aether: You know what I’ve realized? Xiao: Some thoughts are better left unsaid? Aether: Nice try, anyways-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Devil : *talking about Terry’s funeral* You do know we’re burying a great person today! Zhongli [& Nightmare], shocked: Did someone else die?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xiao: Can you cut me some slack, Aether? I’m sort of in love. Aether: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem. Xiao: I’m in love with you. Aether: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Terry: Pfft, you should meet Venti, they're such a tsundere. Aether: They… they just stabbed you. Terry: So cute.

Nightmare, in the background: wtf bro-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xiao: How many children do you have? Nightmare: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Terry: Something tells me Devil 's going to be a bit more unhinged today… Devil, holding a lit match and a bag of cheetos: Leave me be, Ash isn't home to stop me, I'm going feral.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zhongli: Why are you late? Nightmare: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness. Zhongli: Overslept? Nightmare: Overslept.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Venti: Where are my fucking keys? Terry: Venti, Razor is around, can you say it a little nicer? Venti: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PAST! [about 1000 years before the timeline we are at in the rest of the quotes, basically when Zhongli was trying to get Nightmare to marry him]

Terry, about Nightmare and Zhongli: My god, would you two just get a room already? Nightmare: Excuse me, Terry? Terry: You both just keep agreeing about horrifying things and relishing everybody else's misery. So seriously, when's the wedding? Zhongli : … Venti: I ship it! Xiao, who hasn't mentally prepared for both his Parental figures to actually be married: CAN YOU NOT?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: You disgust me. Terry: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[siblings lol-, oh btw Nightmare is based of me, Terry is based of my younger brother, Ash is based off my mom, & Devil is based off my dad]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Devil : I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aether: *eating a cinnamon roll* Xiao: Cannibalism. Aether: *confused chewing noises*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ash, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day? Devil : … Devil : What’s in the box? Ash: What woul- Devil : Ash, what’s in the box? Ash: I think you know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zhongli: If God’s ever been mad at anything I’ve ever said, he hasn’t done shit about it. Zhongli: So he either doesn’t care or he’s a coward.

[boy you are a god- still added this tho bc it was fucking hilarious]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Devil: I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers. Ash: Devil, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[About when Zhongli was 100, Nightmare was 1100, & Ash was 2100]

Nightmare: I don’t remember that. Ash: Do you remember that night last week when you slept in a revolving door? Nightmare: …No. Ash: Okay, do you remember when you were chased by those wild dogs for two miles? Nightmare: Not especially, no. Ash: It was in between those two things.

Worried Baby Zhongli noises: ???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aether: Okay! Let’s play Kiss Marry Kill! Aether: First who would you kill? *Ash points at Venti* *Zhongli points at Venti* *Devil points at Venti* Venti: *shrugs* I would kill me too.

Terry: ?????

Nightmare, laughing her ass off: HOLY ARCHONS-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ash: Are you laughing at that video of Nightmare and Aether fighting? Venti: No. Venti: I'm laughing at the comments.

[Nightmare whooped Aethers ass btw, ain't no way he was gonna beat a psychotic 7000+ dragon lol-]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Having a argument*

Venti : Go fuck yourself. Terry: Come over here and fuck me yourself you coward!

Nightmare: if you're gonna do that you both better go back to your house, there is no way I'm letting u two fuck each other in my kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[None of them canonly smoke in my au btw]

Nightmare, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarette. Ash: But Nightmare, we don't smoke. Nightmare: Cut the crap, Ash. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke. Nightmare: *points at Zhongli* One!* points at Xiao* Two! *points at Devil* Three! *points at Venti* Four! *points at Ash* Five! Nightmare: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarette between these two fingers! Zhongli: *puts a cigarette in Nightmare's hand* Nightmare: Thank you Love. …Light? The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aether: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed. Xiao: But you do know better.

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Xiao: Aether, why are you crying? Aether: This book is so sad!! Xiao, picking it up: But this is my diary-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Venti: Good news! I didn’t screw up! Terry: … Venti: I screwed up less badly than usual! Terry: … Venti: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual.

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Ash: :) Nightmare: >:( Ash: Turn that frown upside down! Nightmare: ):< Ash: Not sure what I was expecting…

[this is way too accurate to me and my mom irl lol-]

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Ash : Wanna get out of here and grab a bite to eat. Venti: I don’t usually eat with losers. Ash : Neither do I but I asked you, didn’t I?

[My mom hates Venti, But my Brother loves him lol-]

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Zhongli : This can’t get any worse. Can it? Nightmare: Sure it can- just give me a minute.

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Zhongli: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way. Terry: I almost died. Zhongli: That… was my favorite memory.

Nightmare, laughing her ass off: Agreed-

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Terry: Heyyy Venti, how’s your… drink?? Venti: What do you mean drink? It’s coffee. Terry: You sure?? *Looks to coffee maker* Venti: *Looks to coffee maker* *Cement sitting beside the coffee maker* Venti:…I’m on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare, looking at their watch: It has been 2 hours and sixteen minutes since I’ve been insulted. Nightmare: It’s been about 5 seconds since I’ve been assaulted, but let’s not talk about that.

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Terry: Shut up, you’re messing with my train of thought! Nightmare: I thought you didn’t have a brain and now you say you have thoughts?

[Me & My brother irl:]

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Venti: *slowly pushes a cannon into a 17th century bank* Okay everyone, be cool. This is a robbery.

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Venti: Why don't we just call it, "M.C. Donald's?" Xiao: Because it just sounds like a stupid rapper's name. Aether: It'd just be like- "Eyo, it's ya boy, M.C. Donald!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Venti: Look at the buns on that guy! Nightmare: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns* Fuck you. Terry: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny! Venti: I'm not going back to jail!

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Zhongli: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

Nightmare: *was the one who bought him it* ^^

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*Terry is laying on the floor with their eyes closed* Nightmare: Hey, are they sleeping or dead? Zhongli: Hopefully dead, I hated them. Nightmare: Yeah, me too. Terry , sitting up: First of all, fuck you guys.

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Venti: You call yourself my soulmate, but where were you when my meme only had four likes? Terry : Making four accounts. Venti, tearing up: Really…?

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Zhongli: You wanna fight?! You got one! Venti : Okay! *raises fists* *Terry runs in, scoops Venti up in their arms, and runs away carrying them* Zhongli: Zhongli: What?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xiao: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box. Terry: Did Aether say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'? Xiao: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

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*The gang when they drop food on the floor* Ash: Aw man. *Throws it away* Terry: Five second rule! Devil : Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me!? Eats it off the floor Nightmare: *Sobs on the floor*

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Ash: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon. Terry: Cool. Ash: Do you know who Joe is? Terry: JOE MAMA! Nightmare, not even looking up from their phone: Damn, that backfired.

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Devil: Can I have some water? Terry: *starts chugging their water bottle* Terry: *chokes from drinking too fast* Terry: *spills water all over themself* Terry, coughing: I don't have any water.

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Venti : As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

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Terry: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Nightmare has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them. Zhongli: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don’t want to be at? Terry: I knew you’d understand.

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Zhongli: What's gone wrong, Aether? Aether: Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis. Zhongli: That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling? Aether: Well… There’s a crisis.

[lol Father-In-Law & Son-In-Law having a normal conversation]

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Devil : Hey Zhongli, Nightmare just broke my seashell lamp. Zhongli: Neat. I’m gonna die alone. Devil : Okay, you win.

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Terry: Hey, do you know the password to Nightmare’s computer? Zhongli: Fuck you, Terry. Terry: Hey!! Zhongli: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouTerry". Terry: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

[Not her password btw lol-]

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Aether: A SPIDEEER!!!!!! Venti: KILL IT! SMASH IT! Terry : BURN IT! Nightmare: STAB IT! WITH A KNIFE! GET ME THE SHOTGUN! Ash: Awww, it’s so cute! Look at it!

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Drunk! Aether: Babe, you're so funny! Nightmare: We have 1492 days until your tragic premature death. You will break my trust three times before that happens, but I forgive you. Drunk! Aether: Awwww, that's sweet of you!

Nightmare: Aether where is your Boyfriend even?

Drunk! Aether: idk-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Alright, listen up you little shits. Nightmare: Not you Aether. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

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Zhongli: Don’t be sad! Nightmare: Why not? Zhongli: Zhongli: I don’t have a good answer.

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Xiao: Play to your strengths. Terry: I haven’t got any!

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Terry: So what are your political beliefs? Venti, awkwardly trying to impress them: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.

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Devil : I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born. Ash: Aw… that's not true. Ash: It'd be exactly the same. Ash: You're not important.

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Xiao: If I see a bug, I simply leave the room elegantly and require someone else do something about it. Xiao: If no one fulfills my wish, I simply never go back in there.

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Xiao: I know where you live. Devil : Where? Xiao: In a house.

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Zhongli: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Nightmare, taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk. Nightmare: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

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The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword Devil : Rude. Aether: That's fair. Zhongli: Not again. Nightmare: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

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*At a dinner party, the guests converse while the host is away* Xiao: So how do you know the host? Venti: They were a former vegan, and they bought milk. Terry: That BITCH! Aether: I pulled them over for money laundering. Devil : I'm chaperoning their dinner party. Zhongli: They stole a baconator! Terry: That BITCH! Xiao: I tanked the store they were managing and they convinced me to quit from one of the only jobs I've ever had. Now I'm living off of unemployment checks and fear!

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Venti: So what’s for dinner? Terry: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise! Venti: … Venti: Is it soup? Terry: I soup-pose it could be! winks Venti: Please, enough with the soup puns! Terry: Wow, you’re soup-per mean. Venti: STOP! *one hour later* Venti: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!

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Zhongli, about a fight between Nightmare and Terry: It scares me how many knives were involved. Venti: There… weren’t any knives involved though? Zhongli: That’s what scares me.

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*The squad is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs.* Zhongli: Get two more chairs! Devil: They can get their own chairs. Terry: Make them fight for it. Nightmare: You only need one chair to beat them all with. Xiao : I would never be near children. Venti: Kill two.

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Devil: Hey. Ash : Hey? Devil: I can't sleep. :/ Ash : I can. Goodnight.

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Zhongli: Do you know the ABCs of first aid? Nightmare: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

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Zhongli: I love hearing Nightmare shouting at someone else. It makes such a nice change.

[She only yells at you when you do something stupid Zhongli-]

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Devil: What is this!? Aether : That’s the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend. Devil: Ow! Make it stop! Aether : Surrender to your kindness, Devil. It’s nice to be nice. Devil: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

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Xiao: I started school with straight A’s. Now I’m not even straight.

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Venti, who was dared to flirt with Nightmare: Is this mistletoe? Nightmare: Uh, no, no, that is basil. Venti: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you. Nightmare: Yeah, no, it’s still basil.

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*Venti & Terry, in a room with Nightmare, Ash, and Zhongli*

Venti: It’s. . . calm in here. . .?

Nightmare: . . .

Ash: . . .

Zhongli: . . .

Terry: It scares me…

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Venti: Would you slap Terry- Nightmare: Yes. Venti: I didn't even finish! Nightmare: Sorry, continue. Venti: Would you slap Terry for 10 dollars? Nightmare: I would do it for free. Terry: Rude…

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Ash: You're violent. Aether: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

Xiao: Can comfirm.

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Nightmare, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Aether: Hey. Venti: Hi. Ash: Hello. Devil : Hey! Nightmare: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Zhongli: They were out of Doritos, 爱. [爱 means Love]

Nightmare: At Least Terry isn't here. . .

[He actually wasn't there lol-]

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Venti : They made Terry cry! Nightmare: Terry always cries! Terry: That's not true! *cries*

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Ash: Tired of just deserving better. Gonna start taking it by force.

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Zhongli: Dude, I will never forgive Craigslist for banning me after I wrote a post seeking a sworn nemesis. Whoever reported that is obviously my nemesis but I was so pissed.

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Venti: My friends say I'm the most charismatic out of the group. Devil : Well, you always have a smile on your face. Venti: Thank you. Devil : Devil : What drugs do you take?

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Zhongli: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Venti: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Zhongli: … Zhongli: You mean ring bearER, right? Venti: … Zhongli: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to MY & NIGHTMARE's wedding.Whispering: I just got her to agree to marry me too-

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*after discussing a plan* Nightmare: Does anyone have any questions? Xiao: Is this legal? Nightmare: Does anyone have any relevant questions?

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Nightmare: What do you want for breakfast? Venti: I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN. Terry: Terry: They want eggs.

Nightmare: why are u two even at my house again?

Terry: We were hungry and in the area-

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Xiao: Relationships should be 50/50. Aether cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

[Xiao can't cook in my au, tho he and Aether do still live with Nightmare & Zhongli-]

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Ash: Venti, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong? Venti: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before? Ash: I’m never asking you anything ever again.

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Zhongli: Blue M&Ms are the best. Terry: WHAT IS THIS SLANDER? Zhongli: What about it? They are. Terry: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY MINECRAFT SERVER! Terry: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST! Zhongli: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HOE! Venti: They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything. Devil: I like the yellow ones. Also why'd you call my wife a Hoe? Zhongli and Terry: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!

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Terry: Thank you for not saying "I told you so." Xiao: When you’re as right as I am, you don’t have to say it.

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that's all for today, I think I went a little overboard so sorry about that! Hope you enjoyed it tho!

he's actually mine guys teehee

my husband and our son

★ 【オスティ】 「 Zongli 」 ☆ ⊳ zhongli (genshin impact) ✔ republished w/permission ⊳ ⊳ follow me on twitter

bi ppl <333

kae///luc shippers dni.

Character : Zhongli

Mentioning: Childe

Themes: self aware, slightly angst.

As a former archon who reigned for thousands of years and lost many of his closest wholes, he found his lost glimmer. It's you.

As a former archon who ruled for thousands of years and lost many of those closest to him, he finds his lost glimmer. It is you.

Your arrival was right at the time of the Rite of Descension when Rex Lapis aka himself faked his death and chose to use a mortal body and chose to start working at the wangsheng funeral parlor, preparing a farewell for The Rex Lapis. He received a call to go to Liuli Pavilion, that's where he met you in Traveler form when Childe introduced himself to you.

Zhongli is a very thorough man. He immediately noticed Traveler's strangeness when they met at Liuli Pavilion. Traveler is not from Teyvat. But you… you're nowhere to be seen. But Zhongli can feel your presence.

The tone of your voice when you are happy to see him appear at certain events, the tone of your voice when you laugh at his behavior again when he forgets to bring his money again, the tone of your voice when you scold him for not being careful when spending money on shopping. Zhongli really wants to see you in person. But for now, he should be satisfied just listening to your voice when Traveler is around him.

He realizes that your world and his world are separated between screens and programs. He reflected on himself. He felt a little worried. If you are bored, will you really leave them? leaving Teyvat? leaving… himself? But he immediately breathed a sigh of relief after more than 2 weeks when he felt your presence, you faced the screen again. He will be happy to be by your side even if it's just for a character hang out event.

There are many rumors circulating around Liyue, when blessings will be given to vision holders, the falling stars are blessings given to those who are lucky in all parts of the Teyvat area.

And Childe was one of the lucky ones at that time. Childe happily praised how lucky he was to have such a blessing. Zhongli just smiled and congratulated Childe while drinking his osmanthus wine. But deep inside, he felt strange. Could it be that Archons with non-vision holders will not receive the blessings they deserve?

Sometimes, he hears how disappointed you are and gives up on the banner. He sometimes hopes he can break the game system, convince you he will be by your side for the third chance but he can't hope for more if you don't trust him anymore.

Zhongli put those thoughts aside. He just wants to be able to always be by your side when adventuring throughout Teyvat apart from his activities as a wangsheng funeral parlor consultant.

He couldn't help but envy Childe how lucky he was to have such a blessing. I mean… who doesn't want to get this lucky blessing?

Zhongli's heart felt a little sad after knowing that you didn't want him to come a third time after failing. He would probably blame himself, if only he could break the percentage system rules for you.

He knows very well that your world is much more real than his current world, full of codes and programming that the people of Teyvat believe are the creation of one of the gods.

He can only imagine how charming your face looks from behind that screen. Or maybe he could just find a way to get away from your screen and touch your cheek just once. Hoping that one day, you will appear beside him with your signature laugh to accompany his days. As a god, the former god is very pity to expect love and affection from mortals in return.

That night, when Zhongli was out of work and walking around the port of Liyue, and looking up at the night sky, he wished that the golden stars were for him after your lucky blessing fell on him once again.

»»-----------fin-----------««

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

It's shorter than anything else. lol. I mean… The previous one was over 7000 words plus. But this one is less. I wish I could write more like Alhaitham or Childe's version regarding I'm writing this from Euhm.. February too.

I swear, my Zhongli won't come home twice, man. I'm so stupid. Where's my Primo crisis again😭🤌

Zhongli doesn't want to go back to my account. *Hiks shrot.*😞🤚

Zhongli once said : "Osmanthus wine taste the same as i remember. But how do we met if you don't have enough any primogems." 😞🤌

-Zhongli 2k23 4

Here’s a fan art of another grandpa I like

. . . GENSHIN IMPACT LAYOUTS !?

1 - venti

2 - zhongli

3 - ganyu

REBLOG IF USING <3