Wtf Is This Thing - Tumblr Posts
my odyssey with the shitshow that is legends and lies, the patriots
i'm watching bill o'reilly's show legends and lies, the patriots and it is wild. 💀 for a show that claims to disperse legends and myths it sure does feed into a lot of narratives. it's actually impressive, how it dramatizes these events and people to the point where every single figure is inaccurate and somehow less entertaining than their actual selves. didn't get to every episode because not all of them are online.
up to the war it's mostly a lot of dramatization that doesn't really add anything and is still horrendously awkward. but the constitutional convention onwards is where i sat there and went. oh, this is bad.
it's obviously not equipped to handle the jefferson-hamilton rivalry and the resulting political factions because it dilutes both figures so bad lmao.
jefferson is just pouting 24/7. they have the actor say the quote from the letter he sent washington about the dinner bargain where he went " hamilton tricked me sirrr he literally duped me into a compromise" without any context. and when washington later calls him out on his sneaky newspaper bullshit he just sits there sulking. like give the guy some credit, he could scheme! he was a far better politician than hamilton! if you're going to try to break down the mythological image of jefferson as the holy patron of the common man then do it all the way! he wasn't like "but sir :(" and then gracefully concede defeat wtf. they make it seem like jefferson lost to hamilton and then later suddenly won (?) without delving into the attacks on hamilton's reputation and how it was a very effective campaign.
also, there is a lot to explore in jefferson's arguments themselves. it would be worthwhile to delve deeper into why exactly he opposed hamiltonian policies, how he thought it would affect the union, etc. to be fair the show does talk about how he thought hamilton would create a monarchy, which is true - but it's just barebones, you know? maybe a bit more detail to actually strengthen both sides' argument if your goal here is objectivity and truth.
i'm a little lad who wants berries and cream!
and you could probably guess this from what i just said about jefferson but hamilton is exactly the ambition-crazed machiavellian schemer you would expect him to be. what's worse is that they don't go into his actual actions that can be critiqued all that much. like why exactly did he want the whiskey tax? what consequences did it have? there's a lot of complexity to dig into, both in how he reasoned he was taxing a luxury, how the farmers reacted, etc. or how there was speculation (duer) that strengthened jefferson's concerns; none of that's really addressed properly. once again, just barebones. this man did not conceal his thoughts, there's a lot of ammunition and yet.
it's hilarious because from his very first appearance as aide-de-camp they kept doing these sneaky cuts to his face where he's just side-eyeing with this deadpan expression. at the time i was like "wtf is wrong with this editing" but i think they were trying to foreshadow ðŸ˜. for the rest of the show he's always sitting in corners, smoking and staring at jefferson/washington.
and the quasi-war is so bad. so bad. they address hamilton wanting to use the war as an opportunity to establish a standing army but go about it so heavy-handedly it just becomes wack. in the show, hamilton is so crazed by his jealousy towards adams that he'll do anything to take power (his ambition did have a role in it but it's weird that they don't say anything about what the french were doing at this point, why americans were divided? not even sure if non-history buffs will immediately realize that this war with france is due to the french revolution and la dih dah.) and this what he says after mchenry claims that adams will want washington as general again:
"But His Excellency is far too old to command from the field. He will give his command to a trusted friend. Someone...perhaps...he once thought of as a son. *smirk with McHenry*."
the last part? "someone he once thought of as a son" BITCH if you did any research you would know that hamilton was screaming crying throwing up at the mere THOUGHT of being considered washington's son. you can hear the villain music in the background. no, literally, you can actually hear villain music. i love this show so much.
then it tells us "yeah hamilton took power" but where is washington in all this? the guy who insisted on hamilton being his 2nd apparently out of love for his "son" (lafayette found dead in a ditch). dying in bed according to the next scene lmao.
so yeah hamilton is a shitshow but that also ruins washington because he's in that weird position of being idolized and also diminished. "yesss slay washington you are so talented as a spymaster and spotting talent but also you were manipulated by hamilton! but also you fully supported hamilton's agenda! you were such a good president i love you."
and john adams is so weak it's an insult to the man. at least show us that hater energy. wdym adams went "i had thought you had stopped this obsession of yours" to jefferson when jefferson was complaining about hamilton? maybe he didn't hate hamilton as much at that point if that's what they're implying? but the show makes him into this affable guy, who didn't want an army (the man longed for military glory) and only dismantles it because he realizes that jefferson was 100% right and it was all hamilton's quest for power. the french are nonexistent in this french-american war, which is my biggest grievance.
and aaron burr...the less i say about this show's aaron burr the better. didn't even try for historical accuracy. didn't try for anything besides "mwahahaha i am a politician! with no ideas! and i will say that to your face hamilton" so yeah the hamilton that they portrayed as crazed for power (in the same 40 minute episode i tell you) is suddenly a great judge of character. maybe at the end they did make him slightly sympathetic? it talks about his public fall from grace after the duel so some points for that.
and look at this shit y'all. can't make this up.
sigh. a historian says "jefferson insisted on seeing hamilton as a power-hungry monarchist" but then the show makes it seem like that's the truth. all the historians are saying things and then the show's scenes are saying something completely different so the entire thing is ???? wtf is the goal of this thing?
besides all of this, it's a wild ride based purely on the absolutely terrible hair. you will not believe how bad the hair is. i shit you not i screamed ten times wondering where the hell they got wigs that can look that bad. watch it just for the hair actually.
and of course the strange, awkward editing and flashbacks that are probably confusing to people who are normal and don't keep historical dates/events marked up with these people's lives. washington dies and comes back to life in flashbacks like 3 times.
it sucks! it's not even entertaining but there are moments of humor and ridiculousness; the bad hair really saved this thing. i might be harsh, given that i just defended hamilton the musical for its relative inaccuracy, but i find it fundamentally different because this show claims superior historical accuracy. it looks and feels like a low-budget documentary and it's just. wrong. at certain points. if it wants to get real into the nitty-gritty of these complex people then you have to commit! it couldn't quite abandon the common impression a lot of americans have towards jefferson, couldn't abandon that perspective of hamilton. but then it doesn't delve into the actual mistakes and darker actions of these people. maybe it was in a different episode but i saw no mention of the reynolds pamphlets, jefferson's relationship with sally hemings, diplomatic deals, or whatnot.
not only is it a ultimate failure at clearing up legends and lies, it probably created some new ones instead. only part that was relatively okay was benedict arnold's i think.
For Homestuck reqs, maybe Bec Noir?
Dog