When Im Old Enough - Tumblr Posts

ventish

my dad was showing me pictures of younger me. saying how I wasn't 'confused on who I was then' or 'didn't worry about anything' because I was younger. (I cried n went up 2 my room cuz yk!!) and then he came in my room and apologized. etc etc, he asked 'do you not wanna be a girl?' I said as I was like crying n breaking down 'i do.' that was a lie . 'do you not want me to treat you like a girl?' again, I lied. 'i do' and he said something similar to 'no matter what you wanna be our relationship will always stay the same' or some shit like that. and it made me remember and realize that if my dad married a person who was supportive of trans people he also would've been supportive, or atleast less tphobic. as much as I tried to mean the 'i do', as much as I wanted to, as much as I know it'd be easier being a cis girl, I know I'm not deep down. I don't wanna be treated like a girl. I don't wanna look like a girl. sometimes I do though. but as much as I try to convince myself i'm cis, as much as I lie and tell myself my entire life would be better if I were, it's hard to say 'i am cis'. this is just a vent post, this post was basically 'never here'. if u read this as a moot, maybe like or reply or something, but pretend as if i never posted it