Toxic Masculinity - Tumblr Posts

This new “sensitive” masculinity, where a softer voice and body, creativity and sensitivity, and sophisticated sensibilities replace alpha male imagery, is dangerous. A man aware of the phrases “toxic masculinity”, “intersectionality”, and “socialization” more often than not will use them as disguised weapons for his soft misogyny, rather than use them to interrogate his own position. Switching from one category of masculinity to another is not a solution. When given the chance, the sensitive artist will enact the same violence as the muscular frat boy, to pretend otherwise is foolish. 

the cis are getting out of hand

saw someone say ‘a lot of men don’t actually want to participate in raising their children, they just like the aesthetic of having a family’ and god that is so true

It is sad to me that someone's relatively harmless fixation was so sullied for them by other assholes who just happened to share the same gender and taste

This guy told me once about how he reached adolescence and was discovering his foot fixation at the same time that the crimes of the NYC Subway Footlicker were being heavily publicized and it made him associate his sexuality with creepy predatory men and now he feels bad when he sees women in flip flops

Whenever men make videos or posts, or (god forbid) a podcast, about issues or discrimination specifically faced by men, my response will always be one of nonchalance and zero concern usually punctuated with a casual “well fix it then.” I don’t argue and I don’t debate. Don’t like it? Fix it then.

And my response will remain such until men stop framing every single one of these conversations around what women can do better to support men and start framing these conversations around what men can do better to fix this problem.

Because ironically, every single one of these problems is caused and maintained by men. But men, do not want to take accountability for the world they have built and maintained and so they look to women to have this conversation and I’m just simply not going to have that conversation with you. Don’t like something? Talk to your homeboys and fix it. It’s above me.

I think 2016-style "Men's rights activist" misogyny really did a number on our ability to talk about gender online in ways that we have yet to fully unpack.

At this point everyone is so jaded from dealing with those trolls that any time a men's issue of any kind is brought up the kneejerk reaction is "ugh, this again! Reverse sexism doesn't exist!" even if nobody said anything about "reverse sexism."

That's how we got into a situation where a statement like "trans men and tranmascs face specific struggles and prejudices. Maybe we should have a word for that so we can talk about how it affects us" sets off the MRA Troll Alarm and gets everyone on the defensive.

i don’t want to achieve equality by sinking to men’s level, i want them to get on ours! why should i have to unlearn the conversational art of waiting my turn, unlearn sexual self-restraint, unlearn trust in others’ good intentions, unlearn the impulse to cater to others’ needs, just to have a chance at success among savages? why can’t the men learn some fucking manners so we can all conduct our affairs in a civilized manner? i shouldn’t have to stop saying sorry, you say sorry!

Alt-right men have been groomed. They have been let down by their peers/community.

They have so much internalized shame, they convert it all to shame to deny their pain.

i don’t want to achieve equality by sinking to men’s level, i want them to get on ours! why should i have to unlearn the conversational art of waiting my turn, unlearn sexual self-restraint, unlearn trust in others’ good intentions, unlearn the impulse to cater to others’ needs, just to have a chance at success among savages? why can’t the men learn some fucking manners so we can all conduct our affairs in a civilized manner? i shouldn’t have to stop saying sorry, you say sorry!

i don’t want to achieve equality by sinking to men’s level, i want them to get on ours! why should i have to unlearn the conversational art of waiting my turn, unlearn sexual self-restraint, unlearn trust in others’ good intentions, unlearn the impulse to cater to others’ needs, just to have a chance at success among savages? why can’t the men learn some fucking manners so we can all conduct our affairs in a civilized manner? i shouldn’t have to stop saying sorry, you say sorry!

i don’t want to achieve equality by sinking to men’s level, i want them to get on ours! why should i have to unlearn the conversational art of waiting my turn, unlearn sexual self-restraint, unlearn trust in others’ good intentions, unlearn the impulse to cater to others’ needs, just to have a chance at success among savages? why can’t the men learn some fucking manners so we can all conduct our affairs in a civilized manner? i shouldn’t have to stop saying sorry, you say sorry!

i don’t want to achieve equality by sinking to men’s level, i want them to get on ours! why should i have to unlearn the conversational art of waiting my turn, unlearn sexual self-restraint, unlearn trust in others’ good intentions, unlearn the impulse to cater to others’ needs, just to have a chance at success among savages? why can’t the men learn some fucking manners so we can all conduct our affairs in a civilized manner? i shouldn’t have to stop saying sorry, you say sorry!

i don’t want to achieve equality by sinking to men’s level, i want them to get on ours! why should i have to unlearn the conversational art of waiting my turn, unlearn sexual self-restraint, unlearn trust in others’ good intentions, unlearn the impulse to cater to others’ needs, just to have a chance at success among savages? why can’t the men learn some fucking manners so we can all conduct our affairs in a civilized manner? i shouldn’t have to stop saying sorry, you say sorry!

i see a post talking doom and gloom about how we'll never escape toxic masculinity. i think about back in 2017 when american girl released their first boy doll, and a review for him went viral in the collecting community. the review was written by a mom, who said they went into the store to get their daughter a doll, only to see their son's eyes light up like fire when he saw a doll that looked like him, and now every night he puts his doll in pajamas and rocks him to sleep. i think about the toddler in my daycare room a few years back who was obsessed with baby dolls, carrying them everywhere, and his mom proudly told us he uses his sisters' old baby dolls and wants to be just like them. that toddler saw another toddler crying one day and gave her the doll he had to cheer her up. i think about the eight-year-old boy i saw a few years back, excitedly waving around raya's sword in a target checkout line like all his dreams were coming true. there was a video on my instagram the other day of a little boy at disneyworld crying with joy upon meeting his hero, mulan. i think about the voice actor for bow in the she-ra reboot saying his nephews only wanted adora action figures. celebrity men are wearing dresses on tv now. last halloween i saw a little boy dressed as elsa. i went to go see spiderverse over the summer, and in the line ahead of me was a boy who couldn't be older than twelve or thirteen, bouncing and beaming, giddy with excitement over getting to see the female-led romance movie elemental. i think about the five-year-old boy at my library who breathlessly asked me where the pinkalicious books were, eyes widening when i had more on my cart, his mom explaining that he is all about pinkalicious and fancy nancy. i saw so many pictures online of boys and men dressed in pink to see barbie. teenage boys are gonna open their phones and see the man who wrote fucking game of thrones dressed in pink to see barbie. when i was a kid, a boy dressing in pink was practically a social death sentence. there are boys running around in pink on my street right now.

every single negative stereotype about women was dreamt up by men who were projecting. fight me about it.

This is important hello (x)

Jared gots no time for your toxic masculinity (Vegascon 2017)

one date with a bi girl goes wrong and he becomes Andrew tate..... wonder what he'd do if i told him he helped me realise I was a lesbian

⚠️TW brief mention of sexual harassment (no details)

i’ve been thinking (dangerous, i know) about how i hate men and toxic masculinity and the patriarchy and how they don’t do anything to avoid it and how it still impacts them no matter how “in touch” they think they are.

i went to an all girls high school, and i had a friend group and we were all very physically affection; lots of hugs, head scratches, lying on each other, holding hands, linking arms, resting on each other etc etc etc. and that was all i knew for 5 years. but then. i moved into a uni hall. that had boys AND girls. and i got some guy friends, and because my brain went “oh, friends ? let’s be physically affectionate ! show them we care ! platonically !” and both of the men in question are queer, and so i didn’t even think about how it could go wrong. but it did. their brains thought “GIRL ? SCRATCH MY HEAD ? LET ME LAY ON HER ?????? LOVE ? IS THIS ROMANCE ????? YES !!!”

which was not at all my intention. but that’s the story of how i got sexually harassed by one of them for a year, and how i accidentally got into a relationship with the other for 2 months.

and i think men should show each other more physical affection so girls can be spared from my fate :(