Tfa Swindle - Tumblr Posts

FRAG YOU CYBERTRON!!!

If you’re dumb enough to buy a new weapon this weekend, then you’re a big enough shmuck to come to Swindle’s!

Bad deals!

Weapons that don’t work!

Thieves!

If you think you’re gonna find a deal at Swindle’s YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!!

It’s our belief that you’re such a stupid motherfragger you’ll fall for this bullshit!

GUARANTEED!!

If you find a better deal,

SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!

You heard us right,

SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!!

Bring your trade!

Bring your credits!

Bring your conjux!

WE’LL FRAG ‘EM!

That’s right, we’ll frag your conjux!

Because at Swindle’s,

YOU’RE FRAGGED SIX WAYS FROM SUNDAY!

DON’T WAIT!

DON’T DELAY!

DON’T FRAG WITH US OR WE’LL RIP YOUR NUTS OFF!!

Only at Swindle’s!

The only dealer that tells you to FRAG OFF!

Hurry up, asshole!

This event ends the minute you write us a check!

And it better not bounce or you’re a dead motherfragger!!

GO TO HELL!

Swindle’s! Cybertron’s filthiest and exclusive home of the meanest sons of glitches in the galaxy!

GUARANTEED!!!!!

Swindle doodles that I find endlessly amusing

More doodles time

HEY GUYS, NEW CRACK SHIP JUST DROPPED

Swindle x his wife (the literal nemesis ship but specifically the giant woman model)

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This ship was all started cause my sibling decided to pose my friend's figures of them so adorably and I ran with it

some 2022 sketches of mine

Swindle/Nemesis Height chart!

The Happy Couple!

I have completed my height chart and like 90% of the tfa-ification of nemesis :)

special thanks to my friend for feeding my addiction to this ship and creating the inspiration/refs for me to make the last drawing

tbh Swindle has always been one of my favorite designs in that show because he has such big bulbous ourple orb eyes and a big happy smile

Watching TFA for the first time!! :3

Swindling 💰💰💰

-randomly schedules a Swindle post to totally SWINDLE my follower base-

🤯🔥

swindle meets a very friendly creature.

swindle found out about shark tank during his time on earth and since then he has fallen into a downward spiral. he's obsessed, similar to how old grannies religiously watch their soap operas. he watches it during his break; tries to rope lockdown into watching it with him but that dickhead refuses to. boohoo

i see a couple of posts on here coming up with backgrounds for tfa swindle on his autobot days, but something i haven't seen anyone ask was how was swindle LIKE back in his youth.

was he always as greedy? as sleazy? was there once a time where swindle would opt to tell the truth?

did he have his charisma back then? his wits? or did his boundless energy and adventurous spirit make up for his blunders?

was swindle born with his silver tongue, or did he craft it once he realized what a deadly weapon his words were? if so, who taught him that? what taught him that?

today we see a bot who's well beyond his years, seasoned with experience and who's processor is unreadable to the average joe.

but who knows what the bots of swindle's past saw

maybe he was more open. more blunt. or maybe a little more reckless. the usual byproduct of youth

either way, something along the line made him realize that the bots around him were using the war for their own gain. and all the poor bastards who didn't realize that were the ones being sacrificed

but swindle, ever observant, catched onto that...

...and somewhere along the line (be it ambition, self-preservation, fear, disillusion...) swindle figured he might as well make something GOOD for himself in this blasted war

because Primus knows if swindle didn't help himself, no one would

actually now that i think about it does swindle even look the same anymore??

djw mentioned somewhere that swindle modded himself to appear taller. maybe autobot!swindle used to be around prowl's height??

and i wouldn't put it past that slippery fucker that he got himself an electronic paint job shortly after defecting to the decepticons

makes you think how much did swindle change. or if he even changed at all

i see a couple of posts on here coming up with backgrounds for tfa swindle on his autobot days, but something i haven't seen anyone ask was how was swindle LIKE back in his youth.

was he always as greedy? as sleazy? was there once a time where swindle would opt to tell the truth?

did he have his charisma back then? his wits? or did his boundless energy and adventurous spirit make up for his blunders?

was swindle born with his silver tongue, or did he craft it once he realized what a deadly weapon his words were? if so, who taught him that? what taught him that?

today we see a bot who's well beyond his years, seasoned with experience and who's processor is unreadable to the average joe.

but who knows what the bots of swindle's past saw

maybe he was more open. more blunt. or maybe a little more reckless. the usual byproduct of youth

either way, something along the line made him realize that the bots around him were using the war for their own gain. and all the poor bastards who didn't realize that were the ones being sacrificed

but swindle, ever observant, catched onto that...

...and somewhere along the line (be it ambition, self-preservation, fear, disillusion...) swindle figured he might as well make something GOOD for himself in this blasted war

because Primus knows if swindle didn't help himself, no one would

HEAR YEE HEAR YEE ITS SWINDLE HEADCANON TIME EVERYBODY

anyway decided to do the impossible today and made an autobot!swindle design :D back in the good ol' days when swindle's head actually looked proportional to his body

below the cut r some height comparisons, headcanons and some piss poor recolorings

yeah so swindle here had a major growth spurt, but it's mostly due to the fact of the myriad of mods he's installed onto himself for the past millenia. one assumes he did this in order to even the playing field with decepticons, seeing these bots r common clients of his.

and while that is partially true (swindle has had to fight many, many cons after they found out he scammed them) another reason for the mods is to intimidate fellow autobots. after this guy bailed on cybertron, he was a pretty wanted mech and swindle wanted to at least be armed to the teeth, should the elite guard come to send him to the stockade again

but other than the DRASTIC height change, there's other changes made, such as:

- his pupils used to be circles, now they're slits

- he doesn't have his bolo tie yet. he added this later in order to make him look more "professional"

- his original designation isn't swindle. he donned that name to himself. im still tossing ideas on WHAT his designation used to be but ideally, I want it to be something relating to that subspace of his

- he had his legs, forearms, torso, and and shoulder pads enlarged in order to make him look more taller and "imposing"

- doesn't own his fusion cannon and all the extra weapons yet. it's just him and his personal subspace against the world

and, my personal idea

- the gold and purple paintjob aren't his actual colors. swindle here got himself a fancy new electronic paint job shortly after defecting to the decepticons

below r some attempts at what his original paint job used to look like (spoiler! im most definitely going to be making more cause im not a huge fan on the one i made rn)

anyway. that's it. end of the post.

boy swindle changed a lot huh

ok so im doing some deep-diving on swindle's origins and....if we take djw's tweets into account...would this mean swindle is around 2 BILLION years old???

im gonna be honest. idk how to feel about that

that quite possibly puts him in the "old fart territory" with ratchet and megatron

is...is swindle OLDER than those two??? or is he younger?? and by how much???

im so conflicted rn

hello tfa nation

i bring u a gift

swindle swipes his weapons from corpses lmao what a bastard

more swindle headcanons because he won't leave my brain and i'm tired of him

crazy good at math. he's able to calculate the price/cost of something within seconds. the only reason he's not a mathematician/accountant or anything like that is because swindle wouldn't do well with those jobs. swindle likes moving on his pedes, not sitting behind a desk

extremely well-versed in politics. but not because he's very political or anything; swindle just likes knowing where and when the next intergalactic war is raging so he can profit off it. it helps to keep up with the news

workaholic. though this trait is less notable to see in him than say, someone like optimus (mostly because swindle takes great care not to let his exhaustion be shown. his image MUST be perserved, after all)

used to keep a diary in which he noted anything interesting he found on the planets he traded with. he was actually semi-organized with it, and even included some crude doodles of the organics he ran into. he stopped journaling once the war broke out, though, and hasn't journaled since due to fear of his diary being used as blackmail

answers questions like a politician. if u want a straight answer from swindle then good fucking luck LMAO. he doesn't like to go into detail about his past. it's all old news, anyway

he's a Beyonce fan. i feel it in my bones

puts effort into his image. granted his image got fucked over ever since he defected to the decepticons LMAO but the point is that swindle tries to make himself look better than he actually is.

surprisingly open-minded. he has to be. if he were to be openly xenophobic to the multitude of alien races he trades with, then his business would tank. besides, he's actually pretty curious about other worlds besides his own (ex; how he mentioned he spied on the human villains in the SUV episode, and thought their whole get-up was "exciting")

he hates hates HATES the cold. if he HAS to do business in a cold planet, he will bitch and complain about it the entire time except when he's in the negotiating room

when he was a young bot, swindle was pretty open book. that's not to say he didn't LIE back then, it just so happened that swindle was created with a super expressive faceplate, and you could always tell what swindle thought based on whatever look he was giving you. this got him into some...issues (dw he learned how to keep a poker face later on)

not the jealous type (how can he be jealous when he's the most wanted bachelor on cybertron?) but on the rare occasion that he IS, he gets real quiet. probably sulks to himself in a corner while sipping on some energon. if confronted, he'll brush it off but don't you doubt it for one second; he is PISSED

says he doesn't have any regrets or moral dilemmas about his job, but that's only half of the truth. swindle takes care not to give himself enough time to think about the past. it makes living easier that way. and swindle is a creature who seeks comfort, even if it inconveniences everybody else around him. don't try to call him out on this bad habit of his; he will huff and excuse himself by claiming you'd do the same thing too if you were in his shoes (or pedes?)

he does not like keeping living things in his subspace. he's made the mistake of storing a organic he thought was cute when he was younger, and it ended up with a trip to med-bay (surprisingly, organics don't like being in strange voids filled with nothing but weapons)

fantastic at detecting scams. he doesn't have a mod for it or anything, he just KNOWS

has a """"healthy"""" amount of paranoia. he claims he's just looking out for himself, given the kind of business he's in, but there's times where the paranoia really fucks with his health

really likes sprinkling those "infomercial phrases" into his daily speech. he thinks it makes him sound suave. thought he sometimes fucks up with the delivery and he just gives up mid-way lmao ("guard the prisoners...orrr loot the ship? it's a no process-...or? er? err..." - a direct quote from decepticon air)

he's mostly self-aware. the only thing he isn't honest about to himself is his own emotions

whenever he feels stupid stuff like "fear" or "stress" or (shudder) "remorse" he takes a look at his bank account. it helps him, in a weird way. because yes, he's an outlaw, and yes, he's technically gambling his and everyone else's life, and YES, there's days where he winds up battered and broken, barely an inch away from death, but...at least his efforts aren't for nought. they're adding up to something; with every corpse, swindle's wallet gets fatter. and with all that money in his servos, swindle might be able to buy himself the one thing cybertron can't offer him: peace

^ swindle thinks he deserves this. he delusionally believes he deserves peace and riches more than anybot

say congrats to the new couple, everyone

(see alt text for translation)