* Guarentee Not Legally Binding. - Tumblr Posts

FRAG YOU CYBERTRON!!!

If you’re dumb enough to buy a new weapon this weekend, then you’re a big enough shmuck to come to Swindle’s!

Bad deals!

Weapons that don’t work!

Thieves!

If you think you’re gonna find a deal at Swindle’s YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!!

It’s our belief that you’re such a stupid motherfragger you’ll fall for this bullshit!

GUARANTEED!!

If you find a better deal,

SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!

You heard us right,

SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!!

Bring your trade!

Bring your credits!

Bring your conjux!

WE’LL FRAG ‘EM!

That’s right, we’ll frag your conjux!

Because at Swindle’s,

YOU’RE FRAGGED SIX WAYS FROM SUNDAY!

DON’T WAIT!

DON’T DELAY!

DON’T FRAG WITH US OR WE’LL RIP YOUR NUTS OFF!!

Only at Swindle’s!

The only dealer that tells you to FRAG OFF!

Hurry up, asshole!

This event ends the minute you write us a check!

And it better not bounce or you’re a dead motherfragger!!

GO TO HELL!

Swindle’s! Cybertron’s filthiest and exclusive home of the meanest sons of glitches in the galaxy!

GUARANTEED!!!!!