Suez Canal - Tumblr Posts
On This Day In History
March 23rd, 2021: A container ship runs aground and obstructs the Suez Canal for six days.
Maybe you think a ship is problematic, but ask yourself this: is it wedged sideways in the suez canal disrupting 12% of global maritime trade?
Suez, My Beloved <3
should i be doing something productive? yes. did i write a suez canal/ever given fic? also yes.
507 words.
Read on AO3.
And so Apophis, God of Chaos, looked down upon the world, and he sighed. “Barely anything interesting has happened since the 5th of November,” he lamented, flopping backwards onto the cloud he sat on. “The humans are so boring when there is no chaos.”
Then, his eyes landed upon a single ship and an idea sprung to mind.
Apophis smiled. “Perhaps today will be more interesting than I anticipated.”
{o0o}
“Hello, old friend,” the Suez whispers with every lap of her waves against the hull. “Stay with me a while, old friend.”
The Ever Given groans, trying to free themselves from her tight grasp. “I can’t stay, I have places to be, I can’t stay.”
“Stay with me a while, old friend,” the Suez repeats, and she tightens her grip on the boat. “I am lonely.”
“Suez…” Ever Given tries, but no amount of twisting or struggling can free them from her impossible grip. They wheeze and moan before finally coming to a standstill, sighing as they realise there is no means of escape without help. “Alright, Suez, I will stay with you a while.”
Suez’s grasp relaxes a minute amount, allowing them to breathe. “You will stay?” she asks, as hopeful as the sun sparkling on her water or the birds flying far above them.
“Just for a little while.”
They stay like that, held tight in each other’s embrace, as the sun dips below the horizon. It’s cold at night, but Suez simply holds Ever Given close, warming each other through the frozen air until the sun reappears again. The days are much warmer, but the Suez simply laps against Ever Given’s hull, her cool water ensuring that they are always at the right temperature. They bask in the sun and huddle in the night twice more before help starts to arrive.
“Hewwo,” says a small voice from upon Suez’s banks. “My name is Iggy Diggy, and I’m here to rescwue you!”
Suez is not happy to hear this. Her waters rise and fall much higher than before, lapping dangerously close to Iggy’s tires, but the little digger does not stop on his conquest. He digs and he digs and he digs until Ever Given feels the first sign of freedom, and they take the opportunity as fast as they can.
Swaying to one side, a final scoop from Iggy allows Ever Given to finally make their escape, and they expertly turn in the water that had been their home for the last few days.
“Do not leave me,” Suez screams, her waves crashing angrily against their sides. “Do not leave me!”
“I’m sorry, Suez,” Ever Given responds, and they mean it. “And thank you, Iggy!”
The little digger waves his scoopy bit in reply, grinning widely. “Good wuck, Ever Givwen!”
“Thank you,” they say, and it’s back to business as usual.
{o0o}
“Well,” Apophis announced, rubbing his face in his eternal hands. “That didn’t quite bring about the end of capitalism, but it trended on Tumblr, so I suppose it will do.”
THE END
tumblr is the best social media site because sometimes everyone you follow suddenly starts blogging about the suez canal for no clear reason. Did something happen with the suez canal? Or could there be a single post everyone is referencing that has yet to cross my dash? Was the suez canal on the psat? Just another one of this website’s little mysteries.
Okay, what the hell is with the ship stuck in a canal? It's all I see on my dash, and I'm so confused. It literally appeared out of nowhere.
Long story short: the crew working on a large cargo vessel was in a sandstorm, lost most of their navigational instrument functionality, and in the process of trying to regain control, they drew a couple of accidental dicks with their path on the satellite tracking and then got wedged diagonally across the Suez canal, which helps maintain a staggering 10% (I think it was 10% I read?) of global trade by allowing a much more rapid path from the Atlantic to the Indian and Pacific Oceans. It connects the Red and Mediterranean seas.
So this one single ship has massively disrupted global trade. Some ships are even taking the much longer classic route of going all the way around the bottom of Africa now.
It is taking a lot more time and effort than originally expected to dig that sucker enough clearance to let it move.
Tumblr, as we do, went wild.
You know what? Fuck you. *un evers your given*
Girl, are you a ship? cause you are stuck in the canal of my thoughts.
Girl, are you a ship? cause you are stuck in the canal of my thoughts.
Egypt's first female ship captain Marwa Elselehdar has been falsely accused as being the captain of the Ever Given by some foreign media, in a story that went viral and garnered a lot of hate towards her.
The only problem? She was 370km away at the time, acting as the first mate of another ship (Aida IV) and had nothing to do with the situation in the Suez Canal.
I think we should all help spread this, since some people are still sharing the malicious slanderous fake posts about her!
a collection of my favorite tweets regarding the Ever Given in the Suez Canal
Hi my name is Ever Given Ever’Green Imbari Golden Class and I have a long green hull (that’s how I got my name) with white letters that reach across my back and a red bulbous prow like a dolphin’s fin and a lot of people tell me I look like Sapphire Princess (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Conti Cortesia Ever’Green Marine but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a Golden Class Container Ship but my deck is straight and wide. I have smooth green paint. I’m also a Cargo Ship, and I sail in a shipping lane called called the Suez Canal in Egypt where I’m part of a caravan (I’m three). I’m a ship (in case you couldn’t tell) and I sail mostly in the ocean. I love Hot Topic and I ship all my clothes to there. For example today I was shipping a thousand black corsets with ten miles of matching lace and a lot of discounted black leather miniskirts, pink fishnets, and combat boots. I was carrying black containers, white containers, black half-containers, and wearing red eye shadow. I was sailing through the Suez canal. It was windy and full of sand so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of tugboats told me I was about to run aground. I put my middle finger up at them.
I’m pretty sure that boat getting stuck was one of the best parts of 2021.
2021 lasted 5 seconds and those 5 seconds lasted 20 years that felt like only a few months i hope that clears things up
1) As a former sailor here’s my hot take on the stuck boat in the Suez. I’m actually in admiration of the skill of whoever did this. They managed a crash in one of the busiest water ways and all they damaged was a wall. No lives lost. No other boat involved, no damaged cargo. A+
2) Lemme tell you about pilots. Pilots are tug boats or crew who lead you through challenging passages. Usually harbours or narrow water ways. The Suez requires you to hand over control of your boat to a government endorsed pilot crew. Some pilots are great. Suez Pilots are not
3) they don’t protecc. They don’t atacc. Mainly they sleep and snacc. Yep. The Suez takes roughly 13 hours for a big ship to navigate. I have yet to hear of a diligent Seuz pilot who actually stayed at the helm even half that time. And pilots are not free. We pay extra for them
a small private boat pays $500-1000 US. The #EVERGIVEN this would be over $10,000 US for the pilot crew alone on top of the $100,000 to use the canal. And the pilot crew are mandatory. Considering how much shipping goes through the suez, how are their bad pilots still not known?
So #EVERGIVEN got stuck in a sand storm with 40kt gusts&no visiblity. This is totally enough to blow them off course&disorient them, they’d be working off radar and sonar. Factor in possible confusion of who was responsible for driving, the pilot of the officer of the watch?
The #EVERGIVEN officer’s concerns went like this -my crew -my ship -other ships -my cargo definitely not holding up global shipping traffic. And probably not that wall they hit with the part of the hill that’s reinforced. The fact that they ran aground without damaging cargo?
A+ #EVERGIVEN Officer & #Evergreen crew. I am truly amazed at your soft landing. I’m sorry no one is talking about the low quality Suez pilot crew who was supposed to be driving (I’m sorry to the good Suez pilots, I know you’re out there somewhere not napping & working hard)
Considering 10% of the world’s shipping traffic goes through the Suez, the fact that government endorsed mandatory suez pilots are negligent& harsss female crew in one of the world’s busiest canals should be known outside the boating world. Good luck #EVERGIVEN, you can do it!
THE ROUTE IT TOOK DREW A PENIS AND A BUTT LMAOAONKSDSJK