Ever Given - Tumblr Posts
On This Day In History
March 23rd, 2021: A container ship runs aground and obstructs the Suez Canal for six days.
Suez, My Beloved <3
should i be doing something productive? yes. did i write a suez canal/ever given fic? also yes.
507 words.
Read on AO3.
And so Apophis, God of Chaos, looked down upon the world, and he sighed. “Barely anything interesting has happened since the 5th of November,” he lamented, flopping backwards onto the cloud he sat on. “The humans are so boring when there is no chaos.”
Then, his eyes landed upon a single ship and an idea sprung to mind.
Apophis smiled. “Perhaps today will be more interesting than I anticipated.”
{o0o}
“Hello, old friend,” the Suez whispers with every lap of her waves against the hull. “Stay with me a while, old friend.”
The Ever Given groans, trying to free themselves from her tight grasp. “I can’t stay, I have places to be, I can’t stay.”
“Stay with me a while, old friend,” the Suez repeats, and she tightens her grip on the boat. “I am lonely.”
“Suez…” Ever Given tries, but no amount of twisting or struggling can free them from her impossible grip. They wheeze and moan before finally coming to a standstill, sighing as they realise there is no means of escape without help. “Alright, Suez, I will stay with you a while.”
Suez’s grasp relaxes a minute amount, allowing them to breathe. “You will stay?” she asks, as hopeful as the sun sparkling on her water or the birds flying far above them.
“Just for a little while.”
They stay like that, held tight in each other’s embrace, as the sun dips below the horizon. It’s cold at night, but Suez simply holds Ever Given close, warming each other through the frozen air until the sun reappears again. The days are much warmer, but the Suez simply laps against Ever Given’s hull, her cool water ensuring that they are always at the right temperature. They bask in the sun and huddle in the night twice more before help starts to arrive.
“Hewwo,” says a small voice from upon Suez’s banks. “My name is Iggy Diggy, and I’m here to rescwue you!”
Suez is not happy to hear this. Her waters rise and fall much higher than before, lapping dangerously close to Iggy’s tires, but the little digger does not stop on his conquest. He digs and he digs and he digs until Ever Given feels the first sign of freedom, and they take the opportunity as fast as they can.
Swaying to one side, a final scoop from Iggy allows Ever Given to finally make their escape, and they expertly turn in the water that had been their home for the last few days.
“Do not leave me,” Suez screams, her waves crashing angrily against their sides. “Do not leave me!”
“I’m sorry, Suez,” Ever Given responds, and they mean it. “And thank you, Iggy!”
The little digger waves his scoopy bit in reply, grinning widely. “Good wuck, Ever Givwen!”
“Thank you,” they say, and it’s back to business as usual.
{o0o}
“Well,” Apophis announced, rubbing his face in his eternal hands. “That didn’t quite bring about the end of capitalism, but it trended on Tumblr, so I suppose it will do.”
THE END
This is absolutely hilarious
Of all the lines from "We Didn't Start the Fire" that I expected to be relevant this week, "trouble in the Suez" was pretty far down the list
tumblr is the best social media site because sometimes everyone you follow suddenly starts blogging about the suez canal for no clear reason. Did something happen with the suez canal? Or could there be a single post everyone is referencing that has yet to cross my dash? Was the suez canal on the psat? Just another one of this website’s little mysteries.
99 boats in the suez canal 99 in the canal turn one around run it aground there’s only one boat in the suez canal :)
I SWEAR TO GOD
i have such good news y’all i’m buzzing with excitement
IT GOT STUCK AGAIN
Okay, what the hell is with the ship stuck in a canal? It's all I see on my dash, and I'm so confused. It literally appeared out of nowhere.
Long story short: the crew working on a large cargo vessel was in a sandstorm, lost most of their navigational instrument functionality, and in the process of trying to regain control, they drew a couple of accidental dicks with their path on the satellite tracking and then got wedged diagonally across the Suez canal, which helps maintain a staggering 10% (I think it was 10% I read?) of global trade by allowing a much more rapid path from the Atlantic to the Indian and Pacific Oceans. It connects the Red and Mediterranean seas.
So this one single ship has massively disrupted global trade. Some ships are even taking the much longer classic route of going all the way around the bottom of Africa now.
It is taking a lot more time and effort than originally expected to dig that sucker enough clearance to let it move.
Tumblr, as we do, went wild.
You know what? Fuck you. *un evers your given*
Girl, are you a ship? cause you are stuck in the canal of my thoughts.
Girl, are you a ship? cause you are stuck in the canal of my thoughts.
no children mountain goats.
Suez Canal blockage
Can the suez canal blockage with solved with tonnes of dynamite?
KABOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
goodbye ship!
goodbye cargo!
Hello shrapnel! (guess the surrounding area shall have to be emptied)
but would flying some explosives over there, exploding the ship and its cargo cost less for people, since that would let the trade go through again, or would that damage the canal, and cost people more?
Me: *wakes up and immediately checks the tumblr trends like it's the news*
Me: Let's see what the little people in my phone are freaking out about this time
Me: *wakes up and immediately checks the tumblr trends like it's the news*
Me: Let's see what the little people in my phone are freaking out about this time