Shrimp Man - Tumblr Posts
the way i audibly gasped at this
(Picture ID: Screenshot of Tom Simon’s youtube video, ‘I Moved to New York with $0′, at 5.19 minutes in. He is stood in front of a rock with EXTREMELY bad posture, much ike an old man without the zimmer frame. He is wearing a red Philza merch shirt and black shorts.)
Hello o great man of shrimp
I made you a fanart
it’s beautiful..
hi today I made you into a homestuck internet troll
ur typing quirk is putting the word shrimp after ur sentences
ex. A robber took all my internal organs, shrimp
(I have no idea how to draw in the homestuck style so it looks wonky)
ok bye shrimp man
i would give my life for you, this is incredible
shrimp fried rice <3
Shrimp Man x Fig - Fruit of the Sea - RPF Smut
Do not read if you’re a minor/not comfortable with smut!
Shrimp man had been gazing at the object of his affections for weeks now. Fig - by far the sexiest and freakiest fruit at the commune - had been walking around wearing nothing but the fruit skin she was born with. Shrimp man had begun to crave her. They wanted to see her full of his shrimp/fig hybrid spawn…
He began to attempt to get her attention by molting his shell around her - a sign of comfort and vulnerability - as well as releasing her pheromones into the air, intending to signify to other shrimp that he was in heat - but unfortunately this does not work on figs. Fig simply ignored them, favoring her machete collection over the poor shrimp.
Shrimp man decided it was time to up her game if she wanted to woo Fig. He fried some rice seasoned with tomatoes, her favorite dish (that isn’t figs), and lay in the bed of rice in a sexy shrimp position.
As soon as Fig walked into the kitchen, she became immediately aroused. The sight of Shrimp Man lying in the tomato rice, stretching their many legs enticingly… it was too much. She dove at him and the two began to make out passionately. Shrimp man stuck one of her gentler claws into Fig’s soft, juicy center, then began slurping up her insides as she screamed out in pleasure.
They mischievously spat out a seed and tackled her with their many shrimp legs. Fig caressed his face, her fragment juices everywhere. But before they could continue their fruity affair, they heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Alarmed, they hid themselves in the rice.
Cherry appeared in the kitchen, having come down to get themself some orange juice, but were more than pleased to see a gorgeous plate of tomato fried rice before them.
“Well, don’t mind if I do…” They grabbed the plate and a fork and began to head back up the stairs to eat. Shrimp held Fig tight as they shook in fear… But neither one of them could admit that it hadn’t been worth it… even if they were to be devoured.
the commune has a child now???
this is what i get for not leaving the woods for multiple days to build a church ig
anyway im going shopping with shrimp to get the child some more clothes she needs good hiking boots for her naturopathic studies