Shit I Say - Tumblr Posts

"What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?"

- Mr. Weasley

I raided the fucking shop. Rolled a 20 for fire damage…

BUT HEY I KILLED THE GUARDS!!

The Misadventures Of My PCs

so im currently running a dnd campaign and the players are “banana crusader” (no real name or anything we legit just call him banana) and he got a bag of holding from a quest. When he saw guards of a town trying to kill someone he STUFFED THEM IN THE BAG OF HOLDING TILL THEY SUFFOCATED. He also chugged a mysterious potion that made him half his size. There was also a town with a plant that made anyone in the vicinity of it insane and banana’s first question about it was “can i smoke it?” also during a fight with some evil clowns he tried to kick one in the balls and broke his foot.

we also have Giarin, a non binary birdfolk sorcerer who’s player hasnt gotten a single single digit roll. They will always default to grabbing someone and yeeting thrm from high in the air yelling “HIPPIDY HOPPIDY GET OFF THE PROPERTY!” And during the evil clown fight they killed two clowns in one yeet.