Self Indulgence At Its Finest - Tumblr Posts

I did a lil scribble of Asterisk (an oc/persona) and a more cannon compliment sans thank i normaly draw XD

Sans is…not please

GUESS WHATS BEEN INKED!!!

This is Tie who will from now on be my self insert for TADC, it was gonna happen there was no denying it XD

cause I'm kinda obsessed with @/jeun-bug's smau's lol

Staying. Trying.

crossposted on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49513432

ZB1, no ship, jiwoong-centric, autism, overstimulation, minor meltdown, stress stimming, hurt/comfort, miscommunication, crying

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The lights were too loud, well technically everything was, but that’s beside the point. The lights in particular were the loudest.

aka

I write Jiwoong as autistic bc i relate to him a lot and bc writing technically counts as therapy. tw for overstimulation, descriptions of a minor meltdown, being misunderstood, and yelling

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hey! i'm not writing this to say 'ooh jiwoong has autism i have diagnosed him' im literally just writing this as a completely self indulgent thing. autism (like everything) isn't a monolith and the traits i've written here are mostly my own and are in no way supposed to be representative of all autistic people :) anyway sorry for the pain

also! i couldn't find what the dorm sitch is rn so i made it up

The lights were too loud, well technically everything was, but that’s beside the point. The lights in particular were the loudest. They beamed up at Jiwoong from the front of the stage, taunting him in their directness. His ears felt like they could start ringing at any second. One minute he was excitedly waving at zeroses and answering questions, and the next everything hit him at once like a semi truck. He tucked his hands into his sleeves, grabbing at the cuffs and fiddling with the buttons. ‘Only five more minutes, Jiwoong. You can make it.’ he cheered himself on in his head, blinking slowly and deliberately. 

The seconds ticked by slowly, but they did tick by. Jiwoong was second off the stage. He smiled wide and waved goodbye, he’d done this routine enough to be convincingly ‘normal’ looking. He tried to not rush Hanbin as he grabbed the hands of the zeroses who waited so patiently to say hi face to face. Jiwoong did his best to do the same. Smile and touch and interact. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his fans, not at all. He just felt this crushing weight on his chest after the whole day, like his battery died hours ago and he was still trying to ring out the last drops of juice. 

They finally made it to their van, and after one final wave goodbye as they pulled away, Jiwoong put in his headphones. He slowly let his face drop, he’d learnt way too many times that changing expressions too quickly freaks people out. He shut his eyes and waited. All he had to do was wait, and then he could lock himself in the bathroom for at least ten minutes before anyone came knocking. Unfortunately, God hated him. With a tap to his shoulder, Jiwoong felt his stomach churn in frustration.

“Jiwoon-hyung!” Matthew poked at him cheerfully. “I know you’re not sleeping.” Jiwoong opened one of his eyes to look down at his seatmate. He was smiling bright as ever. Lucky.

Jiwoong hummed a noise of acknowledgment, too tired to make his mouth say words.

“What do you want for dinner, Hyung? Ricky wants chicken, but Hao-hyung and Hanbin-hyung are voting for Chinese. But, Gunwook, Taerae and Yujin want beef, like at a restaurant.” Matthew rattled the options off, counting on his fingers. “Which one do you think is best?” He looked up earnestly.

Honestly, the thought of putting food in his mouth at the moment made Jiwoong feel queasy. “Chinese.”

Matthew paused. Something flitted across his face, but Jiwoong couldn’t pick up exactly what. “You sure? We can get something else if you want! We could all get different stuff delivered!” Matthew placed a hand on Jiwoong’s arm, making him flinch slightly. He really hoped Matthew didn’t notice.

“Sure.” He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. “Do whatever you want.”

The hand slowly dragged away. Jiwoong was thankful for the silence and the lack of stimulation. He took another breath, clearing his chest. Finally, plans were made and he could coast for the rest of the night. Minimal crying hopefully included. The rest of the drive was more peaceful than normal, the only real noise was Hanbin talking to their manager in the front row and Gyuvin playing a game on his phone. Maybe he wouldn’t even have to lock himself in the bathroom today. 

They pulled up next to the Dorm, and everyone stretched and grabbed their stuff. Jiwoong held the door as Matthew and Yujin got out. Weird, neither of them looked up at him like normal. Something was off. Jiwoong tried to reason with himself, saying that they were probably also just tired from their long day, but it ate at him a bit. He grabbed his bag and went to shut the door but it slipped from his hand. His efforts to grab it again just ended up catapulting it even harder into the latch. It closed with a loud thud, causing everyone to jump. Jiwoong sighed deeply. “Sorry.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and hurried inside. He paused to shake out his hands in the lobby. 

By the time he got there, the members were all crowding around the elevator. Jiwoong shuffled up next to Zhang Hao, nodding his head towards the light above the doors. “Ah- There’s a delivery man going up right now with a trolley. It’s gonna be a second.” His eyes wandered around the room as he explained.

“Hmm.” Jiwoong grunted. “I’m taking the stairs.” He didn’t want to deal with all nine of them squishing into an elevator right now, especially with the variable of a potential delivery man visitor. 

Jiwoong was first to the dorm, first in and out of the shower, and first changed into comfortable clothes. The dorm was oddly quiet. They ordered food by passing Hanbin’s phone around, they all waited in their rooms or showered while it was getting delivered, and even eating was a strangely silent affair. It all felt much too familiar for Jiwoong’s liking. He didn’t know when, or how, or why, but he knew that he must’ve done something wrong. Did he do something at the fansign? Was he rude to zerose? Or was this something farther back that he just started noticing. Jesus, this feeling sucked, and it sucked even worse to sit in. He finished his bowl of soup and threw out the container in the kitchen. If he could manage the courage, he could ask right now, while everyone was here. Get it over with.

‘Oh, you didn’t notice? None of us liked you, we were being nice.’

‘I can’t believe you didn’t realize! Jesus, you really are dense.’

‘Wow, way to care about your so-called friends.’

He shook out his head. He knew those thoughts weren’t productive, they just made him feel like shit. It didn’t stop them from happening, but at least he knew, right? He flapped his hands, and groaned, hopping a little in place. Gathering all his strength he walked back out to the living room and stood in front of everyone. They all looked up in awkward silence.

“…Jiwoong-hyung?” Taerae said cautiously.

“I’m going to bed now.” Jiwoong blurted and turned on his heel. Stupid. He hurried into his and Ricky’s room. He flopped on his bed. “Stupid, stupid. That’s not gonna fix anything.” Anything he ever tried to do just seemed to make everything worse.

Then there was a knock on the door. Jiwoong sighed, he knew this was coming but it still sucked. Why couldn’t anyone just let him wallow? “Come in.”

Hanbin stepped in, closing the door behind him roughly. Jiwoong jolted at the noise. “Kim Jiwoong.” He stomped his way up to Jiwoong’s bed and stared down at him. Jiwoong could already feel his eyes start to burn. “Look, I get it, it’s been a long day, you’re tired. But is that really any excuse to take it out on the members?” Hanbin was fuming underneath his student body principal tone. Jiwoong might be dense but anyone could’ve seen that. “This is absolutely unacceptable, especially for the oldest member. What did Matthew even do to you?” He stood with his arms crossed, awaiting an answer.

“...Matthew?” Jiwoong questioned under his breath. He thought through every time he talked to Matthew today. What did he do to Matthew?

Hanbin’s posture slowly shifted as he stared at Jiwoong’s confused face longer and longer. “Wait…” He started pacing. “Do you not know? Why he’s upset?”

Jiwoong looked up finally, face covered in remorse. “Matthew’s upset? God, can you please just tell me what I did? I didn’t mean to upset anybody?”

Hanbin raked a hand down his face. “It’s not just Matthew, Hyung. Hao and Taerae too.” 

Jiwoong’s stomach turned. “God…” He heaved a sigh, trying to not let any tears form. 

“Hyung. You’ve been sighing and scowling for hours. How else are people supposed to take that?”

Jiwoong, whipped his head to the mirror on his vanity. Sure enough, the scowl lines were etched deep into his forehead. “No…” He couldn’t hold it anymore. He let his face fall to his hands. He choked out a sob. “Not- not aga-gain…” he muttered with the little breath he had. “Why does- does it have to be so- so har-ard?”

Hanbin stood back in a mix of shock and confusion. “What?”

“ Everything! ” Jiwoong sobbed out, curling into himself and rocking. “It’s so- so easy for everyone else! It’s no fa-fair!” Jiwoong was inconsolable, sobbing into his knees and hiccupping. “You don’t understand. You don’t- don’t get it.”

“Jiwoong-hyung…” Hanbin’s voice was suddenly gentle, like he was trying not to spook a deer. “What’s happening?” He tried to place a hand on Jiwoong’s back but he flinched away from the touch.

“Please- please don’t.” Jiwoong said in between breaths.

“Okay! That’s okay!” Hanbin floated his hand above Jiwoong, not sure what to do otherwise. “Deep breaths, Hyung. We don’t need to talk until you’re able to.”

Jiwoong made a strangled noise and nodded. He breathed as big as he could but it came out stuttery and weird. Even that made him plunge a little deeper back into it. He choked on his spit, coughing and letting out a desperate noise.

“Hey- hey now. No, come on, don't give up.” Hanbin moved to squat in front of Jiwoong. “Can I hold your hands?” 

Jiwoong frantically shook his head no. He felt like he would explode if someone touched him right now. His ears were already ringing.

“That’s okay, that’s okay. Can you try and look at me?” 

Jiwoong uncovered one of his eyes. Hanbin was all blurry but he was basically visible. He stared up at him with big frantic eyes, but forced a little smile.

“That’s good. C’mon, breathe with me.” He raised both of his hands, palms up, in front of his chest. “In.” He sucked in a lungful of air with a noise. Jiwoong tried his best to do the same. “And out.” He lowered his hands again. “One more time, okay? In... Out...” The breaths were coming a little easier. “Good. Good job, Hyung.” Hanbin gave a half-hearted smile. “Feeling any better?”

Jiwoong took a few more breaths before responding. He sniffled and wiped his face on his sleeve. “Mhmm.” He looked away. “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Hanbin reached for his hands again but stopped himself. “Do you need anything? Water?”

“...Yes please.” Jiwoong flopped over onto his side, utterly exhausted.

“Be right back.” Hanbin made a gesture for Jiwoong to stay put and scurried out the door. Jiwoong heard the ambient murmuring of his bandmates no doubt asking what all the noise was about. It took every ounce of strength left in Jiwoong’s body to not curl back up into himself. 

The conversation drifted in as Hanbin reentered the room. 

“Are you sure he’s okay?” Jiwoong heard Gunwook whisper loudly.

“Later, later! He just needs water.” Hanbin closed the door on the expecting dorm mates. “Jeez, they’re nosy today.” He chuckled lightly. He placed the glass of water on the nightstand. “Here you are. You want some alone time?” Hanbin didn’t seem even slightly angry anymore. It didn’t make sense. 

Jiwoong shook his head. “Stay.” He hesitated for a second before reaching out a hand. 

Hanbin made his signature ‘o’ surprised face and gently took his hand by the fingers. He sat next to the bed, not letting go. “You can talk whenever you’re ready, Hyung.” He stroked down each of his nails one by one. “I can wait.” 

Jiwoong nearly started crying again at that. It didn’t make any sense. A minute ago Hanbin was yelling at him for being rude. But now, now he was sitting on his hard bedroom floor, patiently petting his hand. Waiting for him to be ready. 

“Thank you.”

“Hmm?” Hanbin hummed, rubbing gentle circles on each of Jiwoongs joints. “For what?”

“Staying. Trying.” Jiwoong sniffled. 

“That’s not something you should have to thank me for, Jiwoong-Hyung.” He turned to meet his eyes. 

“Huh?” Jiwoong swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“I’m sorry I was so quick to yell. I was just worried for the members. If I would’ve known…” He trailed off. 

“It’s okay. I mess up like this a lot. I’m used to it.” 

“You shouldn’t be.” Hanbin turned his whole body to hold both of Jiwoongs hands.

“I’m sorry.” Jiwoong wiped his eyes. “I don't know how it happens. I just want to say what I mean. I don’t know why I’m so hard to understand.”

“Ah-“ Something like a light bulb seemed to go off in Hanbin’s head. “So earlier, when you told Matthew to ‘do whatever he wants’ you meant…?”

Jiwoong scrunched his face in confusion. “That he can do whatever he wants?” Jiwoong sat up. “I’m sorry, I’m really confused. What else could it mean?”

Hanbin held back a giggle. “Sorry, sorry. Usually when people say ‘do whatever you want’ they mean it in like a ‘you’re not going to listen to me anyway so why even bother telling you’ way.”

“ WHAT? ” Jiwoong’s mouth fell open. “Oh my god, I had no idea.” He sat, dumbfounded for a moment. “Jesus, I have a lot of people to apologize to.” He smiled, tears still rimming his eyes. 

“It’s okay to talk however you want Jiwoong.” Hanbin shrugged. “As long as everyone understands the intent I don’t get the big deal. I mean, we’re all members, we’re gonna have to be ourselves around each other at some point.” He chuckled. 

“I guess you’re right…” he took a big swig of his water. “I don’t think I've actually drank any water today.”

“Jiwoong-hyung!” Hanbin scowled. “That’s not good for you.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’ve been busy.” He smiled.

“You’re lucky I saw you eat today or I’d be shoveling those leftovers down your throat.” Jiwoong chuckled at Hanbin’s very serious expression. 

“I’m okay, really.”

“You better be. We still have to debut.” Hanbin pinched the skin on Jiwoong’s index finger lightly. 

They sat for a moment, Jiwoong drinking his water and Hanbin massaging all the knuckles on Jiwoong’s hand. It was comfortable again. It never happened this quickly. It was… nice.

“Hanbin-ah?”

He hummed in reply. 

“Thanks again. For working with me on this. People don’t usually… try? I can be a handful, I know, and it just… means a lot.” 

“Do you think you’re the only handful here?” Hanbin laughed brightly. “We’re all handfuls, Hyung. We just have to figure out how to balance everything. We’re brand new at this- at being a group. There’s gonna be bumps.”

Jiwoong stared at Hanbin for a moment in adoration. “Have I ever told you how glad I am that you’re the leader and not me?”

Hanbin laughed again. “No I don’t think you have. But I appreciate it.” He stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. “You wanna come talk to the boys? They're all worried about you.” He reached out a hand. 

Jiwoong took it and stood too. “Do I look like I’ve been crying?”

“Oh, very much so. Sounded like it too.” He knocked their shoulders together. “We’ve all cried on national tv before, this is nothing. Well maybe not Ricky. But Gyuvin’s told me about it, apparently his bottom lip quivers.” 

Jiwoong chuckled. “I’ll have to see that one of these days.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt you will.” He dragged him towards the door and opened it. Gyuvin, Yujin, and Matthew all practically toppled on to the floor.

“Jiwoon-Hyung!” Matthew rebalanced himself then rushed over. “I’m so sorry, are you okay?” He looked up at him with big moony eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m okay now. Just got… overwhelmed.”

“Tell us next time, Hyung!” Gyuvin whined. “Then we can help.”

“Do you need anything?” Gunwook muttered. “I can make tea.” 

“I’m alright, I promise.” Jiwoong beamed. 

And he was. :)

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✿ starboy seongmin icon edit ✿

.•° ✿ °•.

reqs open! | pls don't repost!

.•° ✿ °•.

doodling on seongmin's face for an hour can cure any ailment y'all should try this

fr tho this was supposed to be for a moodboard but i ended up just spending way too much time on one panel so he's his own boy now qwq ig its good to mix up my content a lil anyway lol

feel free to use as an icon with credit! :)

Christmas sucks and dad killed Santa (chapter 2)

Finally we were home after a mediocre dinner at Dennys. I drag my feet as I enter the threshold of the house. I'm the last to enter and the last to get my pajamas on. I may be an adult but I still wear onesies. My pjs of choice are a pink rabbit with a white tail. It resembles the one off of a Christmas story. It was mom's favorite movie of all time so I wear it Christmas Eve each year to honor her memory.

I lean into the doorway of Charlie's bedroom. Dads reading the night before Christmas and Charlie has just about a million questions.

"When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, l sprang from my bed to see what was the matter away to the window I flew like a flash.With a miniature sleigh and St. Nick and Prancer and Dancer and to all a good night." Dad recites the book, practically from memory, as he had since I was Charlie's age.

"What's that?" Charlie questions our dad.

"What's what?" Dad asks, clearly confused.

"A rose schuck ladder!" Charlie says with wide eyes.

"It's not a ladder. He said, 'arose such a clatter.' It means, eh, 'came a big noise.'" I clarify.

"What?" Charlie scrunches up his face still confused.

"Charlie, ‘arose’ is a word that means 'it came’, and 'clatter’ is a big noise." I reiterate.

"Yes and now it's time to go to bed" dad agrees as he tucks Charlie into his bed.

He turns to me and takes in my pajamas and holds back a snicker.

"Gotta problem with my duds old man?" I joke at him.

Charlie giggles and snuggles in deeper into the covers.

"No problem at all, squirt. Just makes me think is all." Dad replies with a small, sad smile. Tears are brimming in his eyes that threaten to spill.

"Come on, let's get to bed! If we want Santa to come we need to be asleep!" I usher dad out and into his room and walk to mine.

Soon I hear a gentle knock on my door just as I'm ready to snuggle in.

"Sissy (y/n) can I sleep in her with you? Dads snores too loud and I can hear it through the wall!" Charlie practically wails.

I know he just wants to make sure I'm ok but I pretend to buy it nonetheless.

"Come on sport! Let's snuggle and fall asleep to some nice music." I say swooping him into my arms and sitting us onto my queen size bed. Too tall for him to reach on his own without a stool. I put on some Mozart and we drift away.

(TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY RED RYDER BB GUNS! YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT KID!)

I am abruptly woken by Charlie shaking me. This is not what I signed up for when I said he could sleep with me.

"(Y/n)! (Y/n)! I heard a clatter!" Charlie yells.

I slowly open my eyes and ask "What? Charlie, what are you talking about?

"You know! From the story! It came a big noise. It's coming from outside"

I start to say it might be the wind until I hear a loud noise too. Kinda like a ka-thump. The the sound of boots on the roof. I jump out of bed taking Charlie with me. I run as fast as I can to dads room.

I practically take the door off its hinges. My heart is pounding out my chest.

"Dad you gotta get up now! Someone's on the roof!" I say setting Charlie down rushing to his bedside.

"What (Y/n)? Someone on the roof? That's impossible. You probably dreamt it. Go back to sleep." Dad begins but gets cut of by more footsteps. Now he's wide awake.

"I guess it wasn't a dream dad," I huff at him

"Now is not the time for the sass (Y/n), someone's on our roof. Come on we'll go outside. Put on your shoes and coat quickly!" He says while pulling on some socks while quickly hobbling to his bedroom door and down the stairs.

I pick up Charlie again because I know I'll be faster carrying him than waiting for him at the bottom of the flight of stairs.

Throwing on a coat, boots and a winter hat onto both of us with Charlie still holding his blanket.

I rush out after dad and Charlie follow suit.

Dad yells something I can't make out to the person on our roof. Suddenly they slip and plummet onto the lawn as I quickly shield Charlie from the sight.

"Oh my gosh! You killed him!" I yell running through the slushy snow to where the man lay. However, all that was there was his clothes.

"You got him!" Charlie cries out, running, and nearly tripping to get to me.

"I did not! He's gotta be here somewhere! Let's check for some Id to see who this poor shmuck was." Dad argues now riddling through the pockets of the red coat.

"That almost looks like-" I start

"Look (Y/n)! Reindeer!" Charlie interrupts me pointing to the roof.

Lo and behold eight reindeer and a sleigh are parked on our roof.

"(Y/n) come here! I found something!" Dad calls after me.

I approach him and take a small business card from his gloved hand.

"lf something should happen to me, put on my suit. The reindeer will know what to do. What does that mean?" I read from the card and inquire to dad.

He shrugs and Charlie comes to us. "That means you gotta put it on dad!"

"No we are not going anywhere!" Dad asserts poorly.

"We never do what I want to," Charlie says, his eyes watering.

I hug him from behind and glare at dad .

"Look! The rose schuck ladder! Like from the poem!" Charlie beams at both of us.

"I'm going to call the police, please watch your brother for a minute (y/n)." Dad pleads and scurries off to get his phone.

Before I can even blink Charlie is now on the roof trying to touch a reindeer. I follow after him in a hurry.

"Charlie! (Y/n)! Get down from there! I thought you were watching him!" Dad yells at me. It's a miracle the neighbors haven't woken up.

"Dad, it's amazing! Come up here!" I yell down at him.

He runs to the ladder and climbs up, suit in hand.

"You need to get away from ghost things! They could have key lime disease!" Dad panics as he walks carefully towards Charlie. "Easy Rudolph" dad says to the reindeer.

As clear as day the reindeer says "I'm not Rudolph." I look to my dad to see if he also heard but he's just looking at its nametag.

"It's Santa's sleigh!" Charlie jovially says while climbing into it.

"There's no such thing as Santa's sleigh" dad scoffs.

"Sure there is. You said you believed in Santa, right dad" I nudge him.

"I did" he questions then covers his tracks with "I do!"

Dad climbs into the sleigh and I follow him. The seats are much softer than they look.

"Hey dad look! A hat!" I say pulling a plush Christmas hat from in between the cushions. I gently place it on my head after inspecting for lice. It's warm and cozy. The ear flaps are extra padded with faux fur.

"Oh great you found a bug infested hat! Oh how joyous! Let's get out now please" dad practically pleads with Charlie.

"No!" Charlie shakes his head making his hair get in his eyes.

"Come on Charlie! Let's go!" Dad pushes.

Suddenly the reindeer take off. I guess I'm in for one helluva ride tonight!

bloody dog — tony x jihoon (oc)

business must be conducted with a firm hand and a fearless mind.

—

tony always had both, which were the basis of his business, but he must give credit where credit is due: to jihoon — his most loyal dog.

#pitbabe

[ https://archiveofourown.org/works/59047453 ]

caramel — nubnueng x kluea

after chef oab handed the restaurant to plawan, even after knowing the whole truth about his deal with methas, kluea goes to the only place where he is sure that he will be fine.

[ https://archiveofourown.org/works/59363989 ]

Thinking abt my fix-it au where order 66 did happen, but a ton more clones survived and now a lot of them live on a farm.

In this au Tup was presumed dead, and my reader insert, who worked as a janitor on Kamino, saw that his vitals had come back online momentarily and kind of just took him back to her lil farm.

She nurses him back to health and they kind of start a little home for clones who defect. Tup discovers his love for gardening and has a sick ass vegetable patch.

Fives is also presumed dead, but survives, eventually breaking his way out of the morgue and finding their weird lil halfway house via an incripted comm signal Tup sent him before he was shot.

He stays and finds comfort in farming while dealing with the guilt of being too late to stop order 66.

They wake Kix up, free Dogma and Slick, and help a bunch of other clones.

They don't really join the rebellion, they just enjoy the freedom that comes with everyone thinking they're dead or MIA.

And yes ofc it's a semi-yandere au.

Basically:

Tup: "And this is my wife-"

The clones they just rescued, in unison: "Our wife."

ISABELLA   YE   /   ✿

I would love to participate in this!

I hope you have a good day, whoever you are. 😊

Julien.

☆ F/O ask game collection!

{My favorite questions I've seen!}

⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️

🎨 - Do you journal about your F/O?

🌈 - Is your F/O queer {canon or headcanon}? What labels do they use, if any?

💐 - What flower do you associate with your oc F/O? Why?

🍓 - What are you and your F/O’s trope{s}?

🦋 - How did you and your F/O meet?

💭 - How would the fandom react to your S/I?

🫧 - Did you ever keep your relationship secret from anyone?

💗 - What are your pet names for your f/o’s? what are their pet names for you?

💛 - What’s the silliest nickname(s) you have for each other?

💖 - What's your favorite nickname/petname for your F/O? How about your favorite nickname/petname that they call you?

🩵- Do either try to hide their emotions if upset? Can the other still tell?

🪁 - Do you and your F/O live together? If not do you want to or plan on it?

🐱 - Do you and your have any pets? {Together or separate}

💤 - Who sleeps in and who’s an early riser?

🎀 - Do they wear the other’s clothes? {Sweatshirt, bandana, necklace, etc.}

💌 - Do you and your f/o’s send each other love letters?

💝 - What kind of gifts does/do your f/o’s give you?

🎊 - Who makes a big deal out of every little anniversary?

🐞 - Who insists they’re luckier to have found the other person?

💟 - What’s a non verbal way they say I love you?

🥰 - Can they sit side by you without touching you or are they handsy? {lacing fingers, touching knees, etc.}

❤️ - Which one would take their jacket it off and drape over the other one because they were visibly shivering?

💘 - Who fell first and who fell harder?

☔️ - Who carries an umbrella everywhere & who splashes in puddles?

👾 - Who asks ridiculous questions?

💋 - Who kisses the other and leave as many lipstick marks as possible and who gets all heart-eyed and melty like a lovestruck cartoon character?

🪩 - Who is more likely to jump in an elevator? Who freaks out?

🧸 - Would they build a pillow fort together just because?

⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️🌟⭐️

☆ 🌈🍓🦋💖 🎊 🪩 for the game!! {Sorry for the six emojis I got excited 😅}

Whaaat???? No! There is no need to apologize! This'll be fun!(Sorry for the long ramble you're about to witness!)

🌈 I think that Erik could fall in love with anyone. When he loves someone, he loves them deeply(and a bit obsessively.. Uh.. Yikes..) He just wants to be loved back. I could see him having a slight preference for women, just cause of the time, but, you know, it's not as if he's been perfectly socialized.

🍓Oh snap.. I don't really know trope names.

Probably love at first sight(sound?), at least on Julien's end.

Secret admirer? Is that a trope?

That's my best answer as of this very moment. 👍

🦋Okay! Cool! A bit of background context, Julien is an actor and was trying to land a performing job at the Opera, but his voice didn't meet the requirements.. And he was instead hired as technical help(He brought a resume).

He becomes the opera's newest painter!

Technically, their first interaction was a note left by Erik?

Something along the lines of:

I SEE THEY HAVE HIRED A NEW PAINTER... IF I MAY OFFER ANY ADVICE, DON'T POKE FUN AT CARLOTTA, IT IS WHAT HAD YOUR PREDECESSOR THROWN FROM THIS VERY ROOM.

THE REST MAY WAIT TILL YOU HAVE MADE YOURSELF PROPERLY ACQUAINTED AT OUR FINE OPERA HOUSE.

DON'T GO STICKING YOUR NOSE WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG, AND YOU'LL BE FINE.

-O.G.

However, the first time they speak is when Julien goes to fetch some paint and brushes, and a voice speaks to him. He can't figure out where it's coming from, but he finds himself lost in its sound almost immediately.

💖 Julien's favorites for Erik are "Sweet Erik" or "Dear Erik", his favorite to be called are "Mon cher", and "Cherie"

Julien starts his letters with "Always Dearest Erik,"

🎊Mmm... Probably Erik? Julien is not very good at remembering dates. I think he'd keep a journal of them, just to be sure he'd have a gift for Erik or a date planned or something!

I think Erik would go all out for that kind of thing, composed songs, the whole day reserved, a night with the stars!

🪩Elevators were fairly new at this time, and I'm pretty sure they were a wealth thing.. So Julien would be very nervous. Probably would have never been on one. Squeezing Erik's hand for dear life.

I could picture Erik being excited to be the 'knight in shining armor' in this situation!

💛

This was SOSO fun! Thank you so much!

Praying that my characterization seemed right!

I hope you have a good day, whoever you are. 😊💛

When am I not doodling? Goodness.

I was listening to music and got inspired.

Writing under the cut!

The hallways are dimly lit and empty compared to the hustle and bustle they were filled with this morning.

Julien finds himself admiring the ornate walls of the Opera for a second time as he returns to his daft little room, a plain one with a number 4 plated on its door, he settles and hangs his coat on the chair.

Nothing rang as peculiar, rather, it felt all too the same; down to the way the lantern set the room dimly aglow.

He takes a calming pace around the room, flipping through his papers and eventually sitting down on the bed to think.

Julien's mind was plagued by the peculiar interaction this afternoon; he planned to write about the mysterious voice later, perhaps before he slept.

He turns his head to the side, A NOTE!

The note was small and slender, folded into a neat little square.

It read: HELLO AGAIN.

I HEARD FROM A FRIEND THAT YOU WORKED THE ENTIRE DAY.

PERHAPS YOU HAVE GONE HUNGRY, AS YOU HAD NOT EATEN YET? THAT WOULD BE QUITE THE UNFORTUNATE END.

I HOPE THIS NOTE FINDS YOU WELL-FED AND IN GOOD HEALTH.

-O.G.

The note drew attention to the ache in his stomach that hadn't otherwise made itself known and mixed it with butterflies.

He slipped his coat back on, sneaking off into the Opera's halls at the dead of night...

😅It's been a hot minute since I've written something, I pray it was bearable.

(Edited as I proofread)

I hope you had a good day, whoever you are. ☺️💛

Tried to draw like Erik.

I was really, deeply torn on this.. I couldn’t decide whether his art would be crude, like how his handwriting is described or if it's something he's more familiar with..

Cause I feel like it could be either. Maybe it's both, or Julien teaches him, and he slowly picks up art. 👍

As always, this is extremely self-indulgent.(Can you tell I do NOT practice realism like I should? Julien uses a fake mustache, by the way.)

I hope you have a good day, whoever you are. ☺️

Rewatching Phantom at the moment, I thought this would be fun!

I hope you have a good day, whoever you are. ☺️💛

ask game: self insert lore

because i love developing my self inserts and their role within canon i figured there should be an ask game for it!

1. what are the basics of your self insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.?

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

4. would you be considered a main character, side character, villain, or something else?

5. does your self insert have any special powers or abilities?

6. does your self insert have any pets?

7. would any other characters (besides your f/o) have a crush on your self insert?

8. what is your self insert’s orientation?

9. who are your self insert’s closest friends?

10. how do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?

11. what kind of outfit(s) does your self insert wear?

12. how would the fandom view your character?

13. does your self insert have any information about their family?

14. what hobbies does your self insert have?

15. how does your self insert play a role in the plot of the story? do they help directly defeat the villain, support the heroes, etc.?

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

☆ 1, 3, 8 and 10 for the ask game you just put up, lol :)

GAH! Yay!! 🥹🥹💛

1: Julien Alcantara, 12/04/1859, he is 23, uhh He's about 5'4, 5'5, his dad is a carpenter, and his mother is a seamstress.. Uhh.. He got into acting cause of a stageplay he was a part of in grade school.(Not all this information necessarily aligns with me)

3: He's taken on a sort of older brother figure to the corps de ballet. They'll hide behind him when they get spooked, poke playful fun at him.. But other than that, it really varies group to group. Most have a neutral to positive view, with a few outliers. He's liked among coworkers, you know?

8: He is a transman and sooommeewhere on the ace spectrum(?) But he's not open about either, many terms didn't exist at this time, and acceptance was often the latter of hit or miss.

10: It's not out in the open, so it's up for others to speculate.

💛☺️🥹Thank you always for the questions!(I hope this covers everything.)

For the ask game 😊

4, 7, and 13

Hope you are having a good day/night 😌

AH! Hihi! 💛(I'm so sorry I haven't gotten to Dave yet 🥲 I feel so guilty, especially answering all these asks) GAH. I hope you're doing well as well!(How are things, what's new?)

--

4-It really depends on what perspective the story is told from... I'd say he's a supporting character/main supporting character.

He sort of shifts in the view of the people around him from antagonist to ally.

7- I could not see anyone else as a serious love‐interest to Julien.. But I'm biased. As stated in, I think, every other ask now(sorry for being redundant), that he is a brother figure to the ballerinas(most notably Meg). Maybe one of her friends has like a puppylove/celebrity crush type deal going on...? But that is not a pleasant thing to think about. Gives me the icks. 👎

It'd be kind of funny if Raoul did (I don't think they ever meet). But this whole thing is something I never considered. Would love to hear your thoughts!

13- Yes! But since he's moved to the Opera, they have to keep in touch through letters. He gets homesick after the first month or so away from them.

His mom's name is Amélie De Auclair, formerly Alcantara.

His dad's is Edouard De Auclair.

But he's very close with his family, more closely his mom's as his dad is a bit closed off.

--

THANK YOU ALWAYS FOR THE ASKS 💛💛

Hope this covers everything. 👍

Silly questions about Julien and his mustache (because I love his mustache)

1) How did he come to own it? (Did he make it himself or perhaps buy it from somewhere?)

2) How on earth does he get it to stay in place?

3) Does he own more than one?

4) Has he ever experienced mustache mishaps? (Like it falling off in front of others, getting paint on it, ect.)

5) What are Erik's thoughts on the mustache, and does he know it's fake?

If you couldn't tell, it is one of my favorite parts of Julien's design, lol :)

1. He was allowed to keep it after a play he was in in his teen years!

2. Spirit gum! It's a sort of adhesive made to stick prosthetics onto an actor's face, and it holds up under stagelights. (It's so painful to get off without proper remover, though. Speaking from experience.)

3. No. He has kept this one in great condition, and it would be far too expensive to afford another!

4. It has had mishaps: he's not been able to find it before work and it sends him into a hectic, often tearful search every time, he's applied it crooked, or hasn't used enough spirit gum(which caused it to turn and slide), and I could imagine things like his fingers getting hung on it while he's trying to part it in the morning.

Thankfully, he got used to most of these in his teen years. He's practically a pro these days.

5. I don't think Erik finds out until late in their friendship... Julien is(obviously) very closed off about being a transman, not only due to his own insecurity, but the time period.

When he DOES tell Erik, or Erik finds out upon walking in on him... Well, you might imagine it calls for a conversation.

But, in the end, I think all is well(I mean, Erik makes a realistic mask/prosthetic so he can live a normal life in theory, so I think he'd understand).

Erik just wants to be loved, and wants to do the same.

Incredibly devoted.

--

GAH! THANK YOU ALWAYS FOR THE ASKS! 💛💛 I hope this helps(and I love the curiosity and questions!!)

I hope you have a good day. 😊

Anyway, un-proofread writing under the cut.

Featuring a poor attempt at digital art. Erik was made in the animal jam masterpiece game, and Julien was on my phone 🥲 with one layer.

The head of the scenic department was a stern and strict man.

His eyes were small and beady, almost like two little lumps of coal staring back at him with overwhelming disapproval.

The man cleared his throat and spoke in an impatient tone;

"You are the artist they hired, correct..? You will be tasked with painting the walls for "Le Cid". The colors are mostly beiges, browns and reds. If you finish early, you will help with the backdrop. I'm SURE that won't be too much for you.." The head had a sort of cruel glint in his eyes.

"I believe myself to be entirely capable, Monsieur." Julien offers the man a chipper smile... But it leaves his face with an awkward laugh when the man looks more frustrated than before. He scampers off for the paints required.. Beiges.. Browns.. Reds.. Likely some golds..?

He wanders aimlessly for a bit, never having been in a place so large as the Opera before.

It must've taken ten minutes just to find the dusty little closet, and more to get the lantern in the closet's center lit so the paints were decipherable.

Julien sighs exasperatedly as the match, from the box in his breast pocket, fails a third time. "He isn't a very paitent man, you know?" He whispers to the match, "I need this job.. And to keep it, I need you to work with me."

As if that worked. The next time he tried, the match split in two.

He retrieves another, growing more panicked by the second, but, thankfully, this match heard his pleas and did its job.

Conveniently, for once, the paints he needed were all in places that were easy to gather, and he walked out with a stack of paints about as high as his head.

He heard a voice, though from exactly where he couldn't tell.

The closet? No, he was just in there. Surely he would've noticed another man in the closet...

It was a charming sort of voice, the type one finds himself deeply lost in, and Julien was no different.

"Hello?" He calls.

It spoke once more from a bit closer; "Hello, Monsieur.."

He was taken aback by the formality. He never saw himself as a formal person.

"Hello!" He says again, then facepalms.. That was stupid! I already greeted him..

In an attempt to move on, "May I ask where you are..?"

Could the voice see him? He hoped not, the stress must of done a number on his rather plain appearance.

"Ah, yes you may ask, but I will not tell you.."

The voice's response was almost playful, with something of a tease in it's tone.

The voice seemingly came from every corner of he looked, and it left Julien spinning in circles, struggling to balance the cans of paints, which he eventually set down.

"Oh." He manages a laugh at the humor, but his face felt uncomfortably warm, and it grew more so with every sentence the voice spoke, "Okay.. Uhm, may I know your name?"

He looks around the dimly lit hall for signs of movement, but finds nothing.

The painter is quiet for a moment.. "Mine's Julien." He hoped introducing himself first comforts the stranger into doing the same.

The voice giggled, finding humor and something perhaps endearing about Julien.

"What, have you gotten lonely? No, I will not share my name with you, not yet at least."

"Maybe I am lonely." He admits, eyes trailing across the floor.

"I doubt it's me you are lonely for."

"Oh, maybe not.. But your voice is company enough, Monsieur."

I can't believe I said that outloud.

"You... You can keep your secrets.. I don't mind.." He looks around again, now taking a seat on the floor, criss-cross applesauce.

"May I really not have a name to call you by?"

The man remained silent for a moment, then asked questions of his own:

"Why, are you so eager to know my name..? Is it that you have grown fond of me this quickly..?.."

A soft breeze washed over him from some place unknown, almost as if the wind itself was whispering to him, caressing him from the shadows.

It sends shudders down poor Julien's spine.

"It's... Your manner seems familiar, is all. You speak like the notes I've been reciev--" Had he said too much?? "-- I, I do try to be cordial with everyone." Had he said too much?

"And what did these notes say...?" The voice asked, curiosity still lacing his tone.

His mouth opens to reply, "... It was just so--" he heard his name shouted by the stern man from earlier.

"JULIEN DE AUCLAIR."

That jolted his mind from anything he planned to divulge. He scrambles to gather the paints, and then hastily makes his way down the hall.

"I'm sorry. I have to go!"

He was entirely oblivious that the charming voice he had just spoken to was the one writing those notes.

Julien could hear a faint goodbye of sorts from the voice.

Oh, he hoped they would speak again.

He hurries out of the hall and back into the auditorium, where he is met with an angry face..

"I'm so sorry, monsieur.." He says: the cans of paint wobbling in his arms and brain wracking for a reasonable excuse.

No one would believe him if he said the walls were speaking to him.

"I.. It took me a while to navigate, and.." He swallows, "..The uhm.. Paints were a bit hard to find aswell..? I'll get to work immediately, I swear it." He knew that bit about the paints didn't sound confident.. But he hoped it wouldn't catch the man's attention.

"Fine then, I suppose." He says with a glare. "But do refrain from taking so long in the future, Auclair."

"Yes. Absolutely." With that, he hurries to the stage. It takes him a moment to get into his element, but, once he has found it he works for hours.

One hour become two, and two became three.

By hour four, two eight by fours were almost entirely done, he'd gotten so caught up in the task he hadn't considered eating..

He wipes the sweat from his forehead, which leaves a smear of red paint in it's place.

But what struck him as he returned to his senses was how quiet it all was.. And dark.

How late was it? He had surely worked overtime..

Had no one bothered to tell him?

His heart sunk a little.

No, he tells himself, I probably just dismissed them, is all... Even if they did leave me to do the work, I shouldn't mind. It's best I be useful if they plan to keep me here.

He turns to reseal the paints. After this, he would return to his room, not only to rest, but to see if O.G. had left anymore notes.

Hello!! For the OC ask game: 🦀🦋🐱🕊️

Hello friend!! Thank you for asking 😊💛 I am SO sorry for the wait 🥲

Very long ramble under the cut.

--

🦀 How did they handle realizing they were in love? - It took Julien a very long time to realize he was in love because he gets attatched quite easily(I don't know how exactly to describe it) he gets like... This overwhelming need/excitement to be somebody's friend(cough cough he may or may not get that from me)

BUT when he processes that he IS, in fact, in love, it causes him to panic. He tries so hard to act normal and move on, but it just sort of.. Sticks..? He begins to make Erik gifts and tries to play it off while simultaneously longing for him to notice. "I.. Made you this.. I just, I appreciate you being there and couldn't quite figure out how to say it."

🦋 How long does it take them to get out of the awkward relationship phase? ‐ I like to think it wouldn't take very long, because in the same regard of his nervousness, Julien is a very open and polite person who wants to be everyone's person to rely on.

I don't think Erik will ever really get used to asking for things. He'll probably always struggle with self-deprecation... So that'll be a thing to work out?

Maybe a week? Julien sort of treats this kind of thing as an extra loving friendship, and I think Erik would be more tentative about it.

🐱 Do they have any pet names for each other? How do they feel about them? -

Julien for Erik: Songbird, Muse-maker, Sweet Erik, Dear Erik, Dearest Erik, Sweetheart

How Erik feels: Mmmmm... I think he'd like everything but songbird? 🤷‍♂️😅 I haven't really dwelled on this thought.

Erik for Julien: Painter boy, Smiles, Mon cher, Darling, Darling boy, Love

How Julien feels: Gushy. He enjoys nicknames, and oftentimes, they make him laugh.

🕊 Domestic tidbits - Julien likes to sleep with his head on Erik's chest, but they spoon too(Julien is usually the big spoon)

Julien regularly wakes Erik up with kisses peppered around his face in the morning(Julien is terrible about sleeping right and often jolts awake throughout the night and into early morning), probably murmuring something along the lines of "You're a blessing." Before he gets up to get ready.

Erik puts a great deal of care into making sure Julien remembers to eat. He'll be waiting in Julien's room, propped up against his desk, "You've ignored your needs again. It's a wonder you're no deader than I."

The obligatory Erik singing to him/composing songs. I think that Julien would pay close attention so he could join in next time.

Julien tributing paintings to Erik.

Love letters, uhhh.. Just general reminders that they love each other just the way they are.

Erik making Julien more mustaches...?

Julien painting Erik masks.

Erik trying to spook Julien with his ventriloquism and 'failing' because Julien's fight or flight is freeze, and it takes everyone a very long time to notice this.

--

I hope this long ramble was worth it. 🥲😅💛