Satire - Tumblr Posts
They so canon!! 😍😍😍
Today was a self-loathing day... I took that one radically different spoon with the cringe amount of thickness to eat my yogurt.
Going through life trying to convince everyone I'm not a serial killer by default. (I'm not a serial killer)
The OPs of threads must get so confused by me on social media.
"He's deleted and reposted the same comment like, 15 times now. Is he okay?"
Leave me alone, I'm correcting my grammar every time I re-read what I replied with and notice an obvious error. Do you want me to rip my hair out instead and develop intense insomnia?
I take too much Cymbalta to learn how to use Tumblr...
You've heard of IMDb.
You've heard of IBS...
Well if you're autistic, you might just have:
*IIMDbBS*
(Irritable Internet Movie Database Bowel Syndrom)
My current (hourly) dream is to go into a job interview, completely unmasked (Autism mask. I'd still be wearing my KN95).
Naturally, the employer won't wanna hire me.
*I casually and confidently slip the employer a $5 bill*
*That funny upsidedown "I did something bad I'm so bad" reverse smile*
Wouldn't that be so freaking funny? I'd just be looking for the chuckle, and then I'd say, "Yeah, I'm not actually gonna drive myself to the edge of eternity for minium wage. Thank you for your time."
Ahh, comedy.
Remember when we used to punish the bad guys by dropping them into the volcanoe to serve as a sacrifice to the higher powers at play?
Me neither, but hey, don't knock it till you try it. I don't know when we switched from bad guys to virgins, but one was obviously the clearer choice for salvation.
Therapists and psychs should only be an accessible career path for neurodivergent people who's special interest is mental health.
(I'm joking. That's actually super problematic because neurotypical people aren't inhuman or incapable of empathy and extensive knowledge and passions on particular subjects. I'm just providing commentary on how so many mental health professionals know nothing about basic concepts like autism & ADHD. Why do I know more than you about a specific aspect of mental health while I'm looking at your PhD. on the wall, and you didn't wear a mask the entire pandemic? I'm poor and considered a burden on society, but I can provide more validation in a single Tumblr post to someone suffering than you've given someone in 10 years.)
(Some of that commentary was problematic. I shouldn't lump all mental health professionals together. There's some immensely good doctors out there that CHARGE YOU MONEY TO FEEL A SEMBLANCE OF HAPPINESS IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE THAT NOBODY SEEMS TO TOLERATE)
Anyway, I'm looking for a therapist...
*Post*
"Cringe"
*Edit*
"Still Cringe"
*Depression*
"I'm not special"
*Delete*
"Why am I the way I am?"
**Repeat**
I'm an outwardly neutral person most of the time. But when I'm at my wit's end like autistic burnout, or I'm withdrawing off prescription meds (like I am now), I can feel the flood barrier in my eyes degrading. The mask comes off for a millisecond. And it's for the most random, stupid shit, too. Something just has to be joyful to make my eyes well. Literally, I just read:
"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, If no one else can help and if you can find them. Maybe you can hire, The A-Team."
And my eyes welled up and I was momentarily faced with an overwhelming sadness combined with happy/sad tears trying to escape. My mind goes,
"The A-Team brought so much joy every Saturday morning to children and adults all over. It was all so beautiful then, and nobody can have it anymore. We'll never have that world back. Nothing will ever be the same again. It's just so nostalgic. I want everyone to be happy and watch The A-Team."
The point here is that I'm not known to cry by anyone I know. But even the seemingly emotionally strongest of us are just really good at hiding it and throwing it away. Could be from masking, could be from conditioning. Either way, the A-Team intro message momentarily brought tears to my eyes, and that was funny enough to me to post on Tumblr.
It's okay to experience moments or days or weeks of hypersensitivity, empathy on overdrive, or just random bursts or overwhelming emotions brought on by random things. That can just mean we've been holding it all in for too long. We're at max capacity.
Let yourself feel. I certainly don't. I shut it down immediately out of some sick instinct. Don't be like me. Have a full Häagen-Dazs cry fest about outdated action shows.
Somewhere along the line, we decided that a private indoor swimming pool was not a requirement for a standard house.
I think THAT is where we went wrong.
I've never seen Good Omens, which, in retrospect, seems extremely weird for me.
I already have a fascination with Abrahamic literature and film. Actually, I love all mythology, especially Greek. It's a special interest, I think. I have a hard time telling people I have a special interest in mythology because I'm an agnostic athiest and profoundly against religious institutions in practice. But as stories, they're brilliant tools for storytelling.
Do you like religion?
Yes.
Do you *like* religion?
No.
I also love the work I've seen from Neil Gaiman (which is admittedly not a lot), and I love the leads (Michael Sheen & David Tennant).
AND, I see that the neurodivergent community at large absolutely loves this show (and I presume the book as well), and I'm *the* neurodivergent. Neurodivergency wishes they were me.
So I'm thinking I should watch Good Omens.
Okay, listen; I need transitional music. Like in TV shows but in real life.
Finishing using the washroom? It's time to get some transitional tunes playing so I can wash my hands and get to my next activity.
I. Need. Theme. Music.
The funniest version of that has to be playing Third Eye Blind. If Third Eye Blind (or a similar '90s jam) shows up in my transitional music rotation, I just picture whimsical scenes of LA traffic and street signs in my head.
Time management? I just spent an extra 25 minutes in the store stealthily evading someone I knew from high school.
There is no time management. Only me panicking because I'm in public, and the mundane haunting me down the hallways as I become Splintercell.
I am really happy with this art piece! Accomplishing it helped me to realize I could create art with far more stylization than I ever thought I was capable of. This came out of an illustration class and I'm SO glad I took it!
