Ruby Sokov - Tumblr Posts
Why does this have me drowning in crack fic brainworms. The DC equivalent of the royal wedding but it’s between two deranged old men in capes. Stepdad Red Lantern. Vladimir Sokov changing diapers if/when any of the kids are babies? Why am I imagining Todd calling his stepfather Dad but calling his actual father Alan??
Alan and Red Lantern DILF for the ship meme please
Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!
General:
Rate the Ship - Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? -until the end of time.
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - after a few fights and rolling in the sand of some beach.
How was their first kiss? -passionate and rough
Wedding:
Who proposed? - Vladmir
Who is the best man/men? -Jay
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Jen & Ruby?
Who did the most planning? -Alan
Who stressed the most? - Alan
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Alan wanted to ban most people.
Sex:
Who is on top? - usually Vladmir
Who is the one to instigate things? -Vladmir.
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? - think a lot of it has been hard & fast at first.
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - sometimes
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Alan is not that cuddly.
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? - 3
How many children will they adopt? -0, but Vladmir might convince Alan of one.
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Vladmir
Who is the stricter parent? -Alan
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -Alan
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? -Vladmir
Who is the more loved parent? -Vladmir
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? both
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Vladmir. Alan will be ready with a disappointment line.
Misc:
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Alan
Who takes the dog out for a walk? -Vladmir takes his russian blue cat.
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? -sometimes, but nothing over the top.
What are their goals for the relationship? -there was a lot of negotiation I think, but I imagine them reaching a place where they are comfortable with one another and someone Alan feels less repressed around. so, I think they stay together for the rest of their lives and have gay sex, thanks.
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -neither
Who plays the most pranks? - they do not do that
Messy height chart for this particularly messy corner of the JSA family tree! All pulled from their wiki pages except Ruby- I based her height on a panel where she and Alan are side by side.
Alan, walking into his house: Hello, Michael. Ruby. Non- stepchildren.
Ruby: hello
Michael: hey!
Karen: hi
Grundy: green man
Alan: I gave you a key to my home for emergencies only!
Michael: we ran out of Chocos!