Omniishambles - Tumblr Posts

(   cam   )

        * * *

 His eyes closed tightly as her fingers brushed through his hair, the simple comfort of that gesture rolling over him in waves. Camniel found some of his tension melting away, letting her take a little more of his weight. He was tired. He was exhausted, and not just from the beating he’d received.

 The mental strain was taking its toll on him now, of defending Heaven for so long, of giving up everything he’d ever loved for the sake of duty. God, of course, was not involved in this equation anymore. She’d removed Herself. It was the high ranking angels that enforced the rules these days, and they ruled with an iron fist.

 It took a moment for him to realise she was talking to him, too wrapped up in her touch. Such a long time since he’d experienced this, the closeness to another, and that tiny press of lips against his temple- he’d never felt so weak in all his thousands of years in existence.

 Camniel gave a quiet huff of laughter against her shoulder, loathe to move away from her so soon. He’d almost forgotten what he had to do, overcome by…temptation. A fist curled tightly, pressed against his own chest. His other hand reached for Reevah, gripping her arm as though she might melt away into thin air.

   “Coffee.” He managed, finally, his voice still strained. “A very strong, very black coffee. Please.”

 Despite the quiet request, he didn’t want to let her go to prepare it. He didn’t want to let her go at all.

        * * *

it’s a strange thing, this. she can’t help but ponder all about it as seconds pass and the world forgets about them, turns a blind eye whether merciful or accidental on the strangest miracle. a trespass, as we’ve been told, yet—worthy of so much observation as i’d dare to propose. now, before time betrays us and no room is left for pauses and explanations. for thoughts about who they are, and the way her hand runs along his head ( finger first, then the palm and her thumb drawing patterns where it lands; so certain, sometimes, so suddenly clueless at others. then changing ).

for the thing was—she came to realize ( in flashes she dared not retain for too long in her own mind ) that this body of hers, once created for love and protection, had long ago been used and trained and destined to many a thing different to the motions of quiet intimacy. devoid of the slightest chance, laughed at even when a lover hinted such preferences. no, hers was a nature for violence and intensity, for cruelty and hurt. and yet—let’s emphasize on this, and yet—here she was, wasn’t she? here she was entangled with him, not struggling, not burning, not physically fighting the strangeness of this situation. feeling a bit awkward perhaps, like anyone new to love would be testing the limits of their body ( was she doing it right? was there a more comfortable position where she should move him, perhaps? ) but definitely not living any of the consequences that the creatures of the underworld expected from these repulsed actions. the untold lie nevertheless spread among their vicious minds. 

in fact… she found herself quite at peace. strangely alright. as if the comfort he had seemingly found had managed to enter her body as well. along with a little warmth in her chest, and a fast paced rhythm in the cavity of her heart. moving her, lifting her up. 

“ tea, coffee. stained water, it’s the same thing. ” she blurted with a growing smile, relief masked behind confidence, and perhaps, that bit of nonsense she much needed after all that thinking. all that silence in the world. “ i’ll probably need to look up for the instructions on the phone anyways. ever—thought on getting on of those fancy ‘ put-one-capsule-get-one-macchiato ‘ by pressing just one button or something? ugh, the things they do smell so good. ”

ah, but there it was. several seconds too late and vividly in the way he held her arm: with a strength that in no way spoke of a troubled sentiment buried and ready to be forgotten. no, she didn’t know what it was either, what to call it. the desperation she saw in his eyes, and the terrible knot it transported into her guts. unexpected, unknown. 

but why?

“ cam, hey… ” a hand going to his grip, but cowering away the second she felt his muscles, the tension under his skin. “ what’s wrong? hey—hey talk to me… ” she insisted. her body, formerly half-ready to get up went back to kneeling in front of him, a marked crease in-between her brows and a pair of eyes tempted to search the answer in the different corners of his face.

@omniishambles said: *chin hands* what's your favourite colour and your comfort movie?

OK COINCIDENTALLY I KINDA MENTIONED IN MY LAST POST AND ITS FUNNY TO ME as in, suddenly i get to talk about my favourite colours this much but dsjhf i love it. ok so greens are top of the list, if i had to pick just one? green, more on the dark side but also those greens that are a little greyish and very light. also a few browns and golden-like tones at the moment.

AND—for comfort movies hmmmmmm im really the kind of person that can watch the same movie over and over again for a few days, but,,, if i think about last year as in general? i think kimi no nawa and tenki no ko were a frequent pick bc pretty colors and radwimps playing its just !!!!!♥!!♥!! PRIDE AND PREJUDICE always, hunger games (the entire saga) and narnia but just the first and second movie (not a lot of thoughts about the third, i just love those two too much). 

i have comfort series that i rewatch a lot but i didnt know if those entered in this category, so maybe ill save those for another ask.

@omniishambles​ said: " okay, quit it with the drinks. i think that's enough, hmm? i'll cover the tab, but for now, let's get you home... " cam @ reevah!

“ but cam! cam, come on, i’m—i’m five shots away from taking this guy’s car keys and showing him what’s up, i can’t leave just now! ” 

there was a whole round of laughter coming from her growing audience, all intertwined with the few ‘ screw yous ‘ coming from her challenger and his close friends. exhilarating, to be honest. fireworks against the loud music and all that people pressing against each other at the club. and—probably, the best part of it, was that it wasn’t part of a job really. like—it could have been, gaining a few points for herself never quite hurt in her experience, but—hell was going through too much chaos right now and she couldn’t care less about heaven and their crusade. so tonight! tonight was all about some fun. harmless fun. taking a guy’s pride sure, but all in a game played by the rules-kind of fun, for a change.

but—( and, this was controversial ). but—cam was here, and god… was he beautiful. with his frown and every single concern. with the way he talked about home like it was a real place. a constant in time, an agreement between him and her. and—while she didn’t want to show it ( no, not in a million years ) while she didn’t want to show how happy such words really, really made her feel, reevah felt a smile taking over her face, and all the vodka in her veins making it all so hard to hide. to take it back.

fuck, now this was real cheesy, and lame ( and so cute, if you’d allow her to say ).

“ plus you’re here! you’re here, we could—we could have some fun. hey—hey let’s go dancing. oh my god let’s go dancing, i’m dying for some dancing! ” and while her intentions had been to gracefully stand up and drag that archangel to the dance floor, her body didn’t quite got the memo for that, making her trip over her own two feet and find some balance in him. laughing, but not quite helping much to make a case for her own sobriety.

@omniishambles said: 🍓

RACH OMG WHERE DO I EVEN START HHHHHHH. ok, i mean? big part of why i even decided to come back to this blog ( or revamping it, moving, or whatever ) was because of you? I LOVE, LOVE LOVE YOUR CAM, i love the love you put in your characters, how much detail you put in their stories, how unique their voices are when they talk? how passionate you are about your blog, and adding new muses ( and containing yourself because YOU KNOW THERE’S A THOUSAND MORE you’d like to bring but you want to be responsible with yourself ). and i think that’s one of the points i admire way too much about you? I ALWAYS see you posting things about having limits and encouraging yourself and others to take care themselves as roleplayers and it has helped me SO MUCH to be a lot more effective as a roleplayer myself. you are a very nice, very funny, so brilliant partner and it’s been AMAZING to have all these chances to discuss plots on our dm’s or just scream at each other bc our idiots are being the more lovable and stressful things in the entire world ALL OVER AGAIN.

and i really think i could stay here a thousand hours speaking of why you are an amazing writer and partner? ( OMG THE NUMBER OF HEADCANONS YOU HAVE, I ALWAYS SEE YOU POSTING THOSE AND IM LIKE?? THAT DEDICATION, HMM CHEF KISS ) but i guess i wanna end up saying that you are such an inspiration and that i hope i can keep learning things from you. love you so muuuuuuuuuch.

@omniishambles​ said: 6 and 17 for Reevah!

does your muse steal clothing from their partner?

i don’t think she has ever done that actually? like, okay, she has taken stuff. like, with humans she has spent a night or a couple of those, and she spots a fancy jacket or some super expensive shoes and she takes that one second no one is really looking at her to put them on and leave the place. but that’s—stealing, you know, because she likes pretty stuff, or she is feeling especially cruel that day, or someone pissed her off in a way that was enough to put an end to the whole “seeing each other and playing around” stage with whoever she was seeing at the moment. BUT—but, and this is the important part, but, can i see her in my head maybe having spent one night at a certain archangel’s place, finding one of his cardigans laying around, mindlessly putting it on because it’s cold that day and noticing how much it smells like him and how nice that is? ‘CAUSE DUDE, SHE’D SMILE YET TAKE THAT OFF SO FAST. closest time she almost stole clothing from his partner and the only time so far ( so please cam have mercy on her, just forget a jacket or something next time you meet her, too proud to admit she wants to do the cute things everyone does at movies and stuff ).

does your muse leave hickies? do they ask for them?

OH SHE DOES, SHE SO DOES. she LOVES the sight, she loves making a whole lot of them, and in cases just one in the right place for those cases of people who are so mighty and important and would have to find a way to hide her work the next day.

now, when it comes to asking… i think she has been very strict about no one leaving a mark on her ( wow, ok, hickies and symbolically speaking too, that’s for another day i guess ) as in—she treats that like a dominance game? like, i’m allowed to be in control but if you behave extremely well maaaaaaaaaaybe i’ll let you cross that line for a while? which is fun for her and she hasn't paid it that much thought so far. AND—at the same time, i’m dying with this image of her being with a partner that actually makes her feel vulnerable, and unexpectedly finding a hickey on her and feeling so soft for that? looking at her lover and everything being so warm and safe and she saying that maybe next time they could make a few more to add to her collection ( which she wouldn’t disappear with her abilities, like, actually leaving them for as long as they take to disappear naturally and im like hMMMMMM SO CUTE ).

(  cam  ):

        * * *

 She was making jokes, something they often batted back and forth at eachother. Something which had started out as the idle banter of two people on opposing sides, poking fun at eachother- though Cam’s jokes were usually less direct than hers. He laughed. She always made him laugh, which was where he’d first realised the trouble was growing, where he first realised what feelings were lying just beneath the surface in his own heart.

 But he let the laughter take him, this time, the sound stronger than before. His voice was still quiet when he spoke, his brief moment of amusement gone in a flash as he came back to the matter at hand.

   “I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to let you go.” He murmured, his grip on her sleeve still tight. “I…was supposed to let you go, Reevah.”

 Finally he glanced up, peeling himself away just enough to dare looking into her eyes. They were golden, always so bright and full of mischief. Not so much now- God, they almost looked….sad. Worried. For him?

 How could he do this. How could he do this when she was looking at him like that, when every fibre of his soul was screaming no. Not her too. Not her. Please. Instinctively his grip fell away from her arm, his fingers aching from the tension. Instead he brought both hands up to cradle her face gently, too weak to do anything but drink in the sight of her, to feel the warmth of her against his skin. His own brown eyes wavered as he looked at her, wearily shaking his head.

   “But I can’t. I can’t.” 

        * * *

and suddenly—everything in her stops for more than just a moment. from the top of her head to the legs vent underneath her body, from within her chest to the one point where their bodies touched: where she felt the reach of his fear pressing on her skin; undoubted. ‘ i was supposed to let you go ’, how no more than those seven words could wake something older than anything within her, buried deep, forgotten even for herself. 

something—fragile. fine crystal thrown against the ground, shattered. messed up.

what reevah found at the edge of his thoughts was paralyzing fear and a pain she couldn’t comprehend. a silence in her head, a tremor in her throat and the fire of tears rushing to her face. an echo—unreadable, distant. a need to gaze down trying to remember, to make sense of what screamed inside, fought to find its way out. ‘ i was supposed to let you go ‘ i was supposed to say goodbye. and suddenly—she was thrown back to the beginning, to how it was to the very start.

and perhaps you wouldn’t know, perhaps you wouldn’t have thought about this ( as neither did she ) but—abandonment and denial was the very thing she had been born of. judged, rejected. loved in one moment only to be dismissed at the next. perhaps you wouldn’t have made the connection but there was a time where she had felt like this, before cam, before his touch and the very salvation in his eyes. she had been loved, by Her, and before she knew it she had been pushed away for the flaws in her nature. showed what loneliness could really be, how terrifying solitude was, and now, now—expected to feel abandonment once again.

no, not again. not now. 

her eyes went up and her lips parted with words that never made it to the scene. with subtle gasps and eyes that searched in his for a little help. for any way to tell him that she wouldn’t survive this, that she’d do anything, how unfair and maddening this all was. she backed down and pushed herself, questioning every last second of this damned afternoon, and it was when he held her—when he carefully put his hand on her cheek and looked at her with so much pain that she couldn’t contain herself any longer, and so—she leant in. with no hesitation, finding the way to his lips and planting on them a kiss dimly touched by her fears. trembling, unsure. long awaited for, starved and pressed for a few seconds before she drew back. slightly, barely anything, and only to breathe again, collect her thoughts and look for him for a second time—brushing the curve of his mouth before kissing him with hope and a plea; lovingly, learning the warmth of his skin and how silently safe it was to be this close to him. close—wonderfully near, as it should have been for the very start.

“ then don’t. ” she begged, with close eyes and her heart exposed to him. “ cam, please… ” she insisted, moving back and aiming her eyes at his, biting her lips and trying to find the strength to add more, to say more, to tell him how deeply important this was to her “ we’ll find a way—we’ll manage! i know we can, but—please… ” don’t leave me. “ please ” don’t go.

a hand was raised with no more than a finger to request some silence from his crowd, patience—waiting there until cam got rid of his last word, and dramatically taking that chance to snap his fingers and activate the closer screen, cam’s tv turned on to play a scene that may have looked like a badly recorded footage from the worst cellphone cam you had at your disposal, but which ACTUALLY WAS no more, no less, than a little cut from his last night memories ( and what an esteemed lady had chosen to confess, of course ).

“ OK, FINE, I KNOW, I KNOW, IT’S—pathetic, maybe, i don’t know, but—UGH, he was—SO HAPPY RIGHT THERE! and the movie was so BAD but he kept on smiling and sighing and having this—hopeful thing going on everywhere around him, and— ” 

“ and…? ” a voice behind the lens pronounced with the telltale feeling of too many hours of drinking, or more. 

and right there—a silence followed. a smile in her and the dreamy look despite her difficulty to keep her eyes open. “ and—fuck it, you know? i loved that, i—anthony, i tell you, i’d let that man torture me with a thousand hours of those tapes just to watch him smile like that, i—i swear. ” cut, end of proof one, your honor. 

“ cam, cam, cammi—you see, one would think your kind ought to be more sincere than a thousand of us piled together, but— ” a series of vague gestures made with his hands followed, an attempt to find a less amusing way to say this, and yet—failing miserably as the tense smile on his face definitely announced. “ but not only you LIED to my FACE, you really made me believe i was HOPELESS for not managing something as easy as TELLING MYSELF THE TRUTH. SO WHAT NOW, CAMNIEL? what’s your version now, uh? ” oh, he was truly enjoying the development of this, just so you know. 

        CROWLEY || @choicelesshope​ asked:   “ so— ” a melody lightly tinted with cynicism and petty vengeance makes its appearance. contained, happily, and ready to make good use of this chance to make SOMEONE receive a little of his own medicine. “ i heard from a little birdie last night that cam ’ sweet cam ’ was hosting romcoms movie dates for the enemy. not a friend, not a lover, the enemy. ” his smile only growing as much as his clear killing urges. “ what was that thing you said about being honest about your feelings, camniel? ”

        * * *

   “What-”

 He’d been pouring a drink for his demonic visitor- the second as such in the last twenty four hours, which meant that he had to be going insane. Though in fairness, Crowley had essentially invited himself rather than being asked to come round. So it didn’t count, right?

 Armageddon may be over, but there was still a wariness Camniel reserved for fraternizing with the enemy. He may not be quite so guilty as Aziraphale was, but as an Archangel he was supposed to have more sense. That moment was over, though. He didn’t think there was any point in being enemies- they were two sides of the same coin, right?

 But Crowley had used the word date. He’d also used the word lover, which made Cam’s mouth open and close uselessly for a moment.

   “What- look- it’s not- it is not what you think it is, Crowley, and you clearly think- well, we both know what you think! It was just a couple of films, that’s all! And my intention was to turn her mind away from demonic thoughts. Honestly, what are you talking about? Don’t answer that. I already know. And it isn’t. It’s- it was just Love Actually and she thought it was stupid!”

        * * *

(   cam   )

        * * *

 Camniel opened his mouth to protest, sighing and rolling his eyes as she stumbled against him. But they were more affectionate gestures than genuinely irritated ones. There was even a smile flickering away at the corners of his mouth, helping her to regain her balance with gentle hands.

   “No, no- no more dancing. No more drinking. No more stealing peoples cars, thank you.” He replied, leaning in close to her ear, so her opponent couldn’t hear. Not that he’d be able to hear anything over the din of music blasting all around them. “That’s cheating, y’know. A human could never out drink a demon. And anyway, you’re not driving it in this state, so you don’t need it.”

 It wasn’t fair, though. The scent of her hair as she leaned all her weight against him, the warmth of her in his arms- that was Not Fair. But even so, he took a breath, very nearly grit his teeth, and began to try and steer her towards the exit, where fresh air and silence were awaiting them.

        * * *

“ oh do calm down, wasn’t gonna drive that thing the whole way to your place, just half a block until i found something to crash it to—heeeeeeey! ” she turned just enough to wave towards her not-so-excited challengers and aim at them her prettiest smile, not so—thrilled that her little trip to one of her favourite clubs was ending two hours after getting there, but… if we're being honest here? also not entirely hating the ‘ protective boyfriend ‘ thing cam was pulling right now. oh! if anything, reevah had taken that chance to press herself against him ever so slightly, a hand on his chest and a pout in her lips as she played the part of the scolded troublemaker, nodding when someone at the table asked if she was leaving but taking that extra second to enjoy the proximity of him—the now familiar feeling of his clothes and the way he placed a hand on her to get her out of the establishment.

and… could you blame her if she couldn’t steer from the memory of what had been those precious seconds of him leaning close to her? the way he had spoken in her ear—the ghost of his breath still present over her skin? come on, she wasn’t going to wait all night for another chance of that.

a little laugh escaped her, and in less than a swift motion, she pulled him to the alley next to the entrance—hands on his shirt pulling him down and getting in her tiptoes to make her way towards his mouth. teasing, just a little. silence in the way she traced a corner of his lips with her own before smiling again and staying there. close enough for him to reach.

“ no dancing, no drinking, yes… kissing? ” she whispered, laughing and biting her lips in anticipation. “ come on love, there’s no reason why we should head home right away, is it? not in a night just like this… ” 

@omniishambles​ said: i don’t lie. but i don’t always tell the whole truth. from aziraphale to crowley!

somehow—he had the impression he had been in the middle of something just a while ago. that there had been—a thought, a realization, some discovery that had possessed him to leave his garden, march towards the house, accuse the other and come up with at least a dozen reasons why—whatever this affair was ( come on, he had it in the tip of his tongue, it had to be somewhere now ) was of ultimate importance, AND MOST SURELY, something outside the realm of his responsibility.

really now, why else would he be standing in the middle of the room if not for that? mud-covered boots and just-ripped weeds in his hand?

and yet—it was as if every conscious thought he had in him, every bit of emotion and impulse had suddenly been silenced by that clarification—a truth he had never got to consider before, and which most certainly left him with an open mouth, furrowed brows and the most important of questions: since when?

“ you mean— ” there was no fault in his logic, no matter how much he revised it over and over again. “ okay, wow, uh—i have the impression now that you’d give many demons i know a run for their money, and that’s—something i definitely wasn’t expecting for today, but—under the risk you’ll use that very tactic on me now, how many times have YOU keep any information from ME through the years? ” and to be honest, he wouldn't even be mad if that was the case. proud, maybe. but mad? “ how haven’t i noticed? ”

@omniishambles​ said: “   i   love   you ,   idiot  .   ” cam @ reevah 👀

all movement stops in her—ever so slightly. quietly so, in a way it would easily escape the distracted onlooker; she fights the urge not to smile and there’s a prideful tone in the way she averts her eyes. firmly, as if trying to prove such words didn’t have the slightest effect on her. but—if it came to be honest right now? if we were to accuse the truth that lies beneath the armour she had crafted for herself, the things she didn’t say out loud much easily—what we would have found would have been the warm beginning, the iridescent light of the experience of being loved for the first time. not to love ( although the capacity was present, a little rusty, but there somewhere ) no, what paralyzed her thoughts and made her hands a little clumsier for the briefest of time was the strange force of his sentiment filling every inch of the room they occupied, every single space in many miles around. 

the feeling she wouldn't be able to escape even if she wanted to. and oh, how far she was from wanting something as ridiculous as that.

❝ yeah, so? ❞ she answered, a few popcorns from the bowl taken and thrown directly at him as if he hadn’t melted every bit of her with no more than four words. of course you love me, what’s there not to love? ❝ do you think i come all the way here so you can take this long to start updating me on what’s with the guys at your church this week? i have theories, cam. there’s an ongoing deathmatch for the title of father camniel’s favorite churchgoer and i wanna see if any of my favorites are gonna be this season’s winners, so— ❞ she motioned for him to begin. her attention set but maybe a little bit in her still repeating, quietly: i love you, cam. i love you ( in hopes to ever say it just as easily as he made it look like ).