GOOD AND THE REST IS A LIE - Tumblr Posts
( cam )
* * *
His eyes closed tightly as her fingers brushed through his hair, the simple comfort of that gesture rolling over him in waves. Camniel found some of his tension melting away, letting her take a little more of his weight. He was tired. He was exhausted, and not just from the beating he’d received.
The mental strain was taking its toll on him now, of defending Heaven for so long, of giving up everything he’d ever loved for the sake of duty. God, of course, was not involved in this equation anymore. She’d removed Herself. It was the high ranking angels that enforced the rules these days, and they ruled with an iron fist.
It took a moment for him to realise she was talking to him, too wrapped up in her touch. Such a long time since he’d experienced this, the closeness to another, and that tiny press of lips against his temple- he’d never felt so weak in all his thousands of years in existence.
Camniel gave a quiet huff of laughter against her shoulder, loathe to move away from her so soon. He’d almost forgotten what he had to do, overcome by…temptation. A fist curled tightly, pressed against his own chest. His other hand reached for Reevah, gripping her arm as though she might melt away into thin air.
“Coffee.” He managed, finally, his voice still strained. “A very strong, very black coffee. Please.”
Despite the quiet request, he didn’t want to let her go to prepare it. He didn’t want to let her go at all.
* * *
it’s a strange thing, this. she can’t help but ponder all about it as seconds pass and the world forgets about them, turns a blind eye whether merciful or accidental on the strangest miracle. a trespass, as we’ve been told, yet—worthy of so much observation as i’d dare to propose. now, before time betrays us and no room is left for pauses and explanations. for thoughts about who they are, and the way her hand runs along his head ( finger first, then the palm and her thumb drawing patterns where it lands; so certain, sometimes, so suddenly clueless at others. then changing ).
for the thing was—she came to realize ( in flashes she dared not retain for too long in her own mind ) that this body of hers, once created for love and protection, had long ago been used and trained and destined to many a thing different to the motions of quiet intimacy. devoid of the slightest chance, laughed at even when a lover hinted such preferences. no, hers was a nature for violence and intensity, for cruelty and hurt. and yet—let’s emphasize on this, and yet—here she was, wasn’t she? here she was entangled with him, not struggling, not burning, not physically fighting the strangeness of this situation. feeling a bit awkward perhaps, like anyone new to love would be testing the limits of their body ( was she doing it right? was there a more comfortable position where she should move him, perhaps? ) but definitely not living any of the consequences that the creatures of the underworld expected from these repulsed actions. the untold lie nevertheless spread among their vicious minds.
in fact… she found herself quite at peace. strangely alright. as if the comfort he had seemingly found had managed to enter her body as well. along with a little warmth in her chest, and a fast paced rhythm in the cavity of her heart. moving her, lifting her up.
“ tea, coffee. stained water, it’s the same thing. ” she blurted with a growing smile, relief masked behind confidence, and perhaps, that bit of nonsense she much needed after all that thinking. all that silence in the world. “ i’ll probably need to look up for the instructions on the phone anyways. ever—thought on getting on of those fancy ‘ put-one-capsule-get-one-macchiato ‘ by pressing just one button or something? ugh, the things they do smell so good. ”
ah, but there it was. several seconds too late and vividly in the way he held her arm: with a strength that in no way spoke of a troubled sentiment buried and ready to be forgotten. no, she didn’t know what it was either, what to call it. the desperation she saw in his eyes, and the terrible knot it transported into her guts. unexpected, unknown.
but why?
“ cam, hey… ” a hand going to his grip, but cowering away the second she felt his muscles, the tension under his skin. “ what’s wrong? hey—hey talk to me… ” she insisted. her body, formerly half-ready to get up went back to kneeling in front of him, a marked crease in-between her brows and a pair of eyes tempted to search the answer in the different corners of his face.