Obey Me Barbatos X Reader - Tumblr Posts
“my love for you transcends time.”
List of Chapters for my fanfiction named;
The premium version of human is here to wreak house, mfs.
Prologue (Shit's about to go down.)
(Pls reblog, it gives motivation :3)
(P.s If there's anything wrong with the links, pls tell me)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Tyrannical blood rose (Aka. Catan's anger issues mixed with Luke's height, and amplified by Luci's legendary stick up the ass.)
Chp. 1.1 (Yet to be available)
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Sunset Revolution (Aka. Belphie but with less yanda-yandar-eyi and more turning people into sanda-sandy-eyi.)
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Fishy practices (Aka. Solomon but somehow shadier due to the lack of fucks given towards the betterment of humanity. Feat. Barbatos' clone + his chaotic lookalike.)
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One man coup d'etat (Aka. It's snek boi time with illegal imprisonment in what is equivalent to a boot camp sprinkled in for some flavor.)
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The envy of the fairest (Aka. Asmodeus but with less manwhore tendencies.)
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Be my Persephone (Aka. Why is no one in this goddamn school normal?!)
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Coming soon! (Still thinking of titles)
Rain (Barbatos x Reader)
Female! Reader
Slight angst but with a happy ending
In the human realm there you stood, under the heavy rain that wets your figure, soaking your entire being with its polluted water but you couldn't care less about how you'll get sick afterwards. No. You stare into nothingness, the heavy rain greatly limiting your field of vision to maybe one to two meters and even so, objects are extremely blurry.
The reason why you're under the rain is because you're heartbroken. It's stupid, yes, you know but he was your fiance of three years so it's heart shattering and as if your life line is plugged out when you caught him in action with another woman, balls deep into her as her moans fill the room, clearly having a good time. The reason for his cheating is because you didn't want to have sexual intercourse with him but being the religious person you are, you stated that you didn't want to have sex until after marriage but it seems that he couldn't wrap his mind around the idea.
'He only wants you for your body', your best friend said, attempting to comfort you but it didn't do much as your mind wanders to that specific moment in your life.
'He's the one missing out! It just means that he wasn't your soulmate. God has other plans for you', then why did He has to make it so painful to you?
'Fuck that guy! I hope he gets condemned to Hell', you wish too but you try to get yourself out of that mind set since it's quite the sin to wish someone that.
All these allegations are true, yet here you are, under the rain thinking negatively about yourself. Weren't you pretty enough? Wasn't your company enough for him? Satisfying enough for him? You let out a shaky breath and close your eyes, the rain getting heavier if that's possible. You really want to disappear off the surface of the Earth but you didn't. Again, it's a great sin if you did it.
So, you resorted to just being sad and crying out your sadness all alone. It was... Comforting, to say the very least and with the rain, it's easy to cover up your tears and voice.
"ARGH!" You screamed out loud. You could barely make out your own voice. Perfect.
So you screamed again and again and again until you ran out of energy. If you can't hurt or kill yourself, you might as well tire yourself and just go to sleep. But even so, you figured that you might have nightmares regarding what happened to you just yesterday so you might as well completely drain your energy until you can't move.
With one last scream of frustration and anger, you drop to your knees and let tears flow down your face. God, you just wanted to kill yourself but you can't. Sometimes you wish you weren't that religious but it's these times that you're also glad.
How long have you been under the rain? Half an hour? An hour? More than that? You don't know nor do you care at this point. You certainly couldn't care less about your health as well. You just want to hide under the rain so when you thought the rain stopped, you were confused. It's still raining yet why aren't you under it? Then, you look up.
An umbrella.
"Wha?" You breathe out under your breath as you look at the person holding the umbrella.
Due to the darkness, you can't really see his features but you can tell that he's wearing a suit and has gloves on. His expression though empty as ever, his eyebrows are furrowed as if to mimic confusion. He holds out a hand for you to grab and for a moment, flashbacks of your ex-boyfriend doing the same fills your vision and you shake your head.
The man assumes that you didn't want help and retracts his hand. You stand up but wobbled a bit due to you kneeling for so long, causing you to accidentally grab the man's arm. He was as still as a statue, seemingly unbothered by the fact that you just threw yourself towards him. You mutter an apology even though he won't hear it and didn't bother to squeeze water out your hair or clothes.
"Are you okay, miss?" He asks.
You nod and look away, slightly embarrassed of your appearance at the moment. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be going now."
"Wait."
You turn to him. "Do you need something, sir?"
Lightning strikes, lighting up the darkness and you only manage to see his features clearly for a few seconds. Beautiful emerald eyes, green hair gradienting to a teal down his bangs on the left side of his face and no expression at all yet it seems to compliment his handsome features. For a moment, you forgot to breathe. How can a man this beautiful exist?
"You just seem sad and I know that I'm just a stranger, a nobody to you but I do have some time to spare before I go back to serve my master." He states.
You were suspicious. The world is a dangerous place and if a handsome man like Ted Bundy can turn out to be a manipulative murderer, then surely, the man in front of you can do the same.
When no answer is heard from you, he sighs and puts a hand over his heart before bowing down to you, much to your surprise. "I am Barbatos, the butler to my master, Lord Diavolo."
"I... I see." You weren't expecting a butler to be by your side.
"You now know my name, my occupation and my master. Surely, this is enough information for you." The butler, you now know as Barbatos, said.
"Oh, uh, yeah." You awkwardly fidget around. He's just too formal with you that makes it uncomfortable for you.
"So, may I know what is the cause of your sadness? Why are you just kneeling under the heavy rain? Are you not scared of what might happen to you if you were to stay too long out here?" He shoots you question after question.
You wanted to tell him but you're scared of the thought of him ridiculing you. Your fiance's friends did, is he any different?
Barbatos sighs once again and mumbles something before saying, "I do not wish to make you uncomfortable. I do apologize if I do happen to make you feel that way. All I want to do is lend an ear. It is not too wrong of me to do so, is it now?"
You look at the more interesting ground. "Why do you even want to listen to my problems anyway? A butler like you shouldn't help me. You must have other jobs to do and even if I tell you, it's not like you're gonna use that information."
"Maybe, maybe not. But I just want to help."
Damn, he's persistent, you thought. It's not like you're ungrateful, it's more like preventing other people from meddling into your own problems that you can handle by yourself. You didn't need or want someone else's help. You can figure everything out yourself.
And yet...
"Kill me."
The butler was surprised. "Excuse me, but could you repeat what you just said?"
"Ah..." You shake your head. What were you thinking? "I'm sorry. I'll leave."
Just as you turn away, a hand grabs your arm. "Wait."
You wait for him to talk.
"I know I have no place to say this, and it's ironic that I'm the one who's saying this, but don't do it. Life may be hard for you but surely, there must be people who love you. I don't know what happened and really, I have no say in this, if you're thinking about suicide, shouldn't you do something you love? Be with the people you love instead of suffering all alone and eventually hurting other people?"
You look back at him with tears welling up in your eyes. "This is a stupid reason and all, but I just... Can't. The person I love betrayed me. He... He promised."
Barbatos lets go of your hand. "Then, that just means he's a liar, a toxic person in your life. Is it not a relief that you found out instead of being blinded by his lies?"
You wanted to talk back but you bite back your tongue. It is true. Better now then never. You think for a while before forcing a smile on your face. "I suppose so. Thanks for... Talking, I guess. I really appreciate it."
A small smile curl his lips, enhancing his already handsome face. "You're welcome."
*****
Barbatos finally went back to Lord Diavolo's castle after buying all the necessary items from the human realm.
"Barbatos! There you are! Where have you been? It took longer than usual. Did it run out of stock or something?" Lord Diavolo asks as he goes through his endless pile of paperwork.
The butler bows down to his master as a form of apology. "I am sorry, My Lord. No, it's not because of that."
"Then, what took you so long?"
Memories of the rainy scene plays in his head but he answered differently despite knowing that Lord Diavolo can tell between a truth and a lie. "There was a fuss over a mistake I did, My Lord. Wouldn't this new generation call that a 'Karen'?"
Though he knows, Lord Diavolo was more interested in the name the humans gave for someone with such an attitude. "A Karen, huh? Call Levi here! I need to know what that means!"
The day continues on like normal but Barbatos kept on wondering why the devils did he help such a helpless human who's willing to kill themself just because of a broken heart? He doesn't understand his own actions and frankly, he doesn't wish to know why either. He's a demon, a duke, an earl, he shouldn't care so why did he help that one human?
Ahh, of course.
"Welcome to Devildom!"
"Barbatos?"
He bows down to the new exchange student and smiles at you. "Welcome, MC."
"You were a fucking demon?!" You were surprised rather than scared.
"Were?" Lucifer asks but is ignored when both you and Barbatos wouldn't answer him.
How have the Fates destined the both of you to meet again.
Another Barbatos x Female! Reader
A/n: basically they are the same Barbatos and Mc as the last one please enjoy.
It was a normal day in the Devildom for everyone else but for the human ______ and Barbatos it was sex day and this time he was letting her control him which of course he didn’t mind as he was there to serve her. She smiled as she sat down on his bed even though her heart was beating fast. “Is everything alright?” He asked. “Yeah i guess I’m just nervous.” She chuckles. “Well there’s nothing to be nervous about.” He smiles and she smiles back at him. “Well, shall we get started?” He asks. She nods and reaches a hand out to him and he takes it and kisses it gently. “Give me orders as you please~” he says softly and she blushes. “..could you strip for me please.” She says smiling softly. He nods and smizes as he pulls away and slowly unbuttons his jacket as drops it to the ground. “How much should-“ she cuts him off. “Just to your underwear. “ she smiles up at him. He nods and kicks off his shoes as he undoes his cummerbund and drops it to the floor. She smiles loving watching him. He finally gets to his shirt and slowly unbuttons it and places it gently on his chest of draws as he knows it’ll be a pain to iron later. He slips off his gloves and drops them to the floor as well as his singlet. He smiles softly loving that her eyes were on him. He undoes his belt and slides it out and drops it to the floor. He unbuttons his trousers and zips down the fly and they slide to the floor. He smiles up at her as he steps out of them and takes if his socks and tosses them aside. “Is this to your liking?” He asks and she nods. “Perfect.” He smiles. “Now what would you like me to do, my dear.” He asks and she thinks for a moment. “Undress me.” She says softly. He nods and gently lays his hands upon her jacket and slowly slips it down her shoulders and slips it off tossing it aside before returning to her and unbuttons her blouse and slides it from her shoulders his fingertips grazing her skin gently as he removes it and places it in the chest off draws with his own shirt. He then slowly removes her singlet and drops it to the floor and slowly moves to her shoes bending down and dropping to his knee as he undoes the laces of her shoes and slides them off and puts them to the side. She smiles watching him. His fingertips graze her legs as she slides her socks off and tosses them over his shoulder as his hand travel up to her skirt and undo the button and zipper that keeps it up and he slides it off of her gently groping her arse as he does and it sips the the floor and he tosses it aside. He leans up and lays he head gently on her thigh. “What else would you like me to do, my dear ______~” he said and looked up at her his eyes gleaming as he did. She thought for a moment before she replied. “Please me with your mouth.” She says softly.
He grins at her and nods. “I am at your service.” He says as he slides her underwear down her legs and removes it from her and drops to the floor he places his hands gently on Bert thighs and gives one a kiss before pushing them apart gently and rubbing them drawing circles upon them with his thumbs before places his face closer to her womanhood. He licks his lips and places his tongue to her outer walls tracing his tongue up and down each side gently. She smiles and lays back onto the bed letting him do his job. He continues his tongue movements. She moans softly covering her eyes with her arm. “K-keep going.” She said placing a hand on his hair. His tongue moves to her entrance and circles around it slowly before sliding his tongue inside his hand moving to her clit and circles it with his thumb. “Ugh, your so good.” She says softly and bites her lip her hips bucking up to meet his mouth. He continues the movements of his tongue feeling her walls clenching around his tongue. She moans deeply feeling her climax coming close. “B-Barba-!” She says getting cut off and her orgasm finally arrives coating his tongue as she rides out her high. He pulls away from her and licks his lips. “Did I do well.” He asked. She nods her breath returning to normal. “Wonderful…” she says softly. “What would you like me to do now.” He asks smiling at her as he moves onto the bed and rests above her.
“..me..” she says softly. He smirks and kisses her softly before pulling away. “As you wish my dear.” He says and pulls away to remove his underwear. “Shall I do you raw or with protection.” He asks he kissing her once more. “Whatever you’d like.” She says pulling him towards her. He nods and kisses her once more. “As you wish.” He said as he places his shaft against her outer walls and slides it between them. He smiles loving this feeling before he places the tip of his shaft at her entrance circling around it before inserting the tip slowly. She bites her lip as he slowly moves further into her while sliding out of her before plunging back into her going further then before. She gasps and she clutches onto his shoulder. “I’m I going to fast.” He asks slowing his pace. “No it’s ok, keep going.” She says rubbing her fingers into his skin. He nods and continues remaining at his slow pace each thrust he goes deeper. He kisses her quickly before grunting loving the feeling of her walls clenched around him. He grunts and thrusts deeper into her his hips grinding into hers. “..hard-er.!!” She moans softly. “As you wish.” He says as he quickens his pace each thrust going deeper pulling out slowly and thrusting back in harder he feels her walls clenching around him more as she continues to moan and groan. He finally finds that spot deep inside of her and hits it almost each time before she pulls him closer to her and and shudders her release coming once more her walls clenching against his shaft once more as she feels him deep inside of her. He groans feeling himself coming closer to him climax. He pulls out of her and places his shaft between her outer wall thrusting upwards until he finally comes his climax coating her lower abdomen. She huffs until her breathing comes to slow. “Y-you know you could have came inside, I wouldn’t have minded.” She said softly. He lets out a loud breath as he calms his breathing. “I know but I’m not really to be a father just yet.” He says with a chuckle and kisses her cheek. “Well I guess for the best then.” She says. “Now let’s get cleaned up.” He says parting from her and walking to the nightstand to grab some wet wipes. “Agreed.” She says sitting up.
Elsewhere in the palace…
Diavolo smiles to himself as he takes his headphones off. “My my, Barbatos was right that documentary about human world animals was amazing.” He says to himself. “I can’t believe there’s an animal called an Eye Eye and humans believe their demons.” He chuckles. “I-indeed my lord…” Little D no.2 says looking at the ground knowing what he heard was no animal noises.
~~~
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"I look at you and I see the void." - Barbatos/MC
Barbatos is time infinite, space incorporeal – a wave of his hand is all he needs to see every universe, every timeline, every outcome. A snap of his fingers is all it takes to change everything. A power so infinite and yet, so bounding – for he does not want to see what will happen in several years' time if he turns that vase just so, if he cooks a certain meal a certain night, if he answers a question with five more words instead of two.
The threads of time weave through his fingers, and he could create whatever tapestry he so wishes – but that is not Barbatos’ desire. Perhaps once, he had a vision of what he wanted his life to be. Perhaps that is why he is where he is now. A truth lost to the echoing realities of eternity.
It is a power that could drive anyone mad, and he is no exception – but he has learned to temper it, has found someone to serve who understands the gravity of it and all its consequences. He is in control – even with the buzz of the multiverses filling his mind in the quiet of his room, with the colors that paint the edges of visions that seep through his dreams. True peace from it all is the one thing he knew he could never achieve.
That is, until you came along.
“What is it?”
“Hm?” He answers as if he’s been snapped out of a reverie.
The two of you are alone in one of the castle’s many gardens, thanks to your request for a moonlit stroll after a lively dinner with a crew of rather rambunctious demons. The moments you had alone were rare, and it pleases Barbatos to have you alone to himself.
“You’ve been staring at me for some time now, Barbatos. Do I have something on my face?”
“No, not at all.” He clears his throat, a sheepish smile ghosting his lips. “I simply found myself lost in thought.”
“About me?” You tease, taking a step closer to him with mirth in your eyes. “My, just what was on your mind to have you staring so intensely?”
“Nothing salacious, I assure you.” He smirks as he sees you playfully pout at that response, and then slowly closes the space between you. “...Do you really want to know?”
Your eyes narrow, searching his gaze as curiosity replaces cheer. “Yes, I do.”
“I look at you,” he murmurs, brushing a thumb over your lips. “...and I see the void.”
Confusion knits your brows, and he chuckles softly as he looks deep into your eyes.
“You are so intangible, so captivating, and utterly beyond my comprehension of all that I know to be true.” A hand comes to your waist, to the small of your back as he pulls you close against him. “You are, for the first time in my long life, a mystery that brings me both intrigue and peace. It is as if time stops with you, by no will or power of my own. To be with you, to even gaze upon you, brings the cacophonous universe to a lull, a peace I never thought possible for myself.”
As he feels warmth radiate from your cheeks, he brings his lips to yours in a languid kiss.
“In you,” he whispers against your skin, “I see the abyss that I’ve always craved.”
love's no problem in my hands
includes: barbatos x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)
wc: 1.5k | rated g | m.list | cross-posted on ao3
a/n: just had to get this out quick i swear im on hiatus lololol. for @messysketchyobeyme as part of the @omsecretsanta2022 event. i hope you enjoy!!
please reblog <33
Now, he keeps his feelings close to his chest, aware that he’s not the only one who holds them for you. That knowledge should be souring, should bring him to his senses, but it doesn’t. Maybe it’s because of you, because of how you make time for him, make him feel like the only demon in the world when you look at him, make him believe, if only for a second, that impossibilities are possible. Okay, yeah, it’s definitely because of you.
So he holds his feelings, keeps them to himself, and it’s okay. He’s not prone to jealousy, or possessiveness, has learned over the many, many years to be satisfied with what he has, and what he has is more than enough. He has Diavolo and a place in a wonderful community filled with wonderful people, and your friendship, which is more than he could’ve dreamed of.
Barbatos doesn’t know how it started.
Well, alright, he knows when he first noticed it. But he has a feeling the feelings had been there, building, culminating, for a lot longer than that.
He first noticed his affection for you on a spring day, one of the warmest the year had seen so far. You’d shed your uniform jacket, rolled up the sleeves, and gone outside during lunch, claiming the quad as your own. Claiming the attention of everyone on the quad. And like moths to a flame, everyone had followed, as they always did. Him included.
“It feels so nice out,” you’d chirped, face turned up to the non-existent sun, and Barbatos had become aware of a buzz under his skin, a curious warmth that he’d never really felt before. It didn’t take a genius for him to place the feelings, and he accepted them a lot easier than he thought he would, with them clicking into place like the last piece of a previously hidden puzzle. He finally understood what everyone was talking about, finally understood why people were pushed to invent, to create, to conquer in the name of love.
Of course, while he was going through all of these realizations and acceptions, time had moved forward, and you were now surrounded by everyone, with him on the outside, like always, slightly distanced, the few feet like an uncrossable gorge. But you, you with your crooked half-smile and wonderful gleam in your eyes, had looked through, to him, smile somehow widening just for him, and that had made it all okay, made that gorge seem like nothing more than the few feet it actually was.
Now, he keeps his feelings close to his chest, aware that he’s not the only one who holds them for you. That knowledge should be souring, should bring him to his senses, but it doesn’t. Maybe it’s because of you, because of how you make time for him, make him feel like the only demon in the world when you look at him, make him believe, if only for a second, that impossibilities are possible. Okay, yeah, it’s definitely because of you.
So he holds his feelings, keeps them to himself, and it’s okay. He’s not prone to jealousy, or possessiveness, has learned over the many, many years to be satisfied with what he has, and what he has is more than enough. He has Diavolo and a place in a wonderful community filled with wonderful people, and your friendship, which is more than he could’ve dreamed of.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” you tease, poking him lightly with the blunt end of your pencil. He blinks, coming back to himself, coming back to the club meeting, and gives you a half smile. The club was one you both co-ran, some ‘community wellness’ thing that you were a lot more passionate about than he. But he put his everything in it, for you.
“I apologize, I must have been distracted. Remind me of our discussion,”
“Barbatos? Distracted?” Your face is bright, cheerful. “Who are you and what have you done with the real Barbatos?”
“Funny, really,” he returns, and the laugh he is gifted with is quickly saved, pressed into the scrapbook of his memories, to be taken out and admired every now and again, treasured close to his chest.
“Anyway…” you pull him back into the meeting with vigor, with enthusiasm, as with everything you do, and he lets himself be pulled willingly. What a fool he must be, to take the chains from your hand and wrap them around his wrist himself.
Once the meeting is over you check your D.D.D., cursing. He directs an inquisitive look at you, and you grin guiltily. The school is dark, and mostly empty, and it feels like the two of you are the only ones in the world.
“It’s a lot later than I thought it was,” you explain. “Is there any way I can beg a ride off of you? I’d be really thankful.”
“I suppose,” Barbatos replies, making a show of being long-suffering. You draw out his humor in a way no one else does, and he’s grateful, so immensely grateful, that you see his dry, deadpan remarks for what they are and don’t just think he’s dreadfully boring.
“Thank you so much!” You squeeze his side in a hug, apparently not feeling the staggering static that emanates from where the two of you touch, that sends shivers of electricity up and down his entire frame. “I owe you one.”
“You always say that,” he accuses lightly. “At this point, I believe you owe me a lot more than that.”
“Probably.” You shrug, unrepentant. He really shouldn’t find that shamelessness so charming.
Being in a car with you is like torture. Torture he can stand, revels in, delights in.
You’re close, within touching range. Not that he’d ever put his hands on you without your express and explicit permission, but the forced intimacy gets to him. You’re so comfortable in his car, shown by the way you commandeer the radio, the way you dig through his glovebox like it was yours for the taking.
(Everything of his is yours for the taking, for the having, for the keeping.)
“What’s this?” you ask, more to yourself than anything, but he looks over anyway. You’ve got a CD in your grip, reading the back.
“That,” he says, “is my favorite CD. So be careful with it, please.”
“It’s your favorite?”
He nods, and you give him that crooked smile, ejecting the CD that was in the player, exchanging it out.
“We don’t have to listen to it,” he tries, and you wave him off.
“Of course we do! It’s your favorite, and I want to hear it too!”
You pull pieces of him to the surface, almost by accident, and he stands there in front of you, exposed. But you’re always careful with the new parts of him that are revealed, treating them as preciously and as kindly as you’d treat an invaluable glass sculpture.
The first track starts and he keeps his gaze on the road, humming along. He can feel your eyes on him, and eventually, eventually gives into the urge to look over, meeting your eyes.
“I can see why you like it,” you murmur, quiet for once. “It’s very…” you hold the words in your mouth, tasting them, savoring them. “It’s very you.”
“Thanks, I think.”
“You’re quite welcome.”
It’s quiet in the car, aside from the CD, of course, but he doesn’t mind the silence. Never has. Others feel it as a pressure, but he doesn’t, and knows, despite your propensity to talk and laugh and be in constant motion, don’t either. It’s a comfort, to be in silence with you.
The drive to the House of Lamentation takes forever. Isn’t nearly long enough.
When he pulls into the circle drive, past the immaculately pruned bushes and other ostentatious landscaping, he resists the urge to go slower, to coast at a snail’s pace. He’s better than that. Barely.
“Thanks for the ride,” you say as he pulls to a stop, lowering the volume of the music. “I really appreciate it.”
“Of course,” he says. “You know me. Barbatos: butler, glorified babysitter, and part-time chauffeur.”
He’s rewarded again with your laugh, but it fades into something thoughtful, something intimate.
“You’re so much more than that,” you say, and when he looks over at you in muted surprise, you’re not returning his gaze, instead focused somewhere in the far-off distance, maybe in the far-off past. Either way, you blink and come out of it quickly, but don’t take your words back. Instead, you do something, that even with all of his overthinking, his planning, his habit of examining every possibility, he’d never seen coming:
You lean over and kiss him on the cheek.
Your lips are warm, and dry, and un-lingering. He stares at you in shock as you pull away, heart pounding a mile a minute.
“Well,” you say with another laugh, much more high-pitched and nervous than the others he’d heard from you, “thanks again. I’ll be going in now.”
You slide out of his car quickly, crossing the distance between it and the door in seconds. He almost thinks you’re not going to look back, until you do, that damned crooked smile on your lips, fluttering your fingers in a wave, even as embarrassment and joy war in your eyes.
It takes a long time, too long, for him to pull himself together enough to pull away from the House of Lamentation, and he has to take the most convoluted way home he can think of to fully rid himself of his blush– a herculean task, considering that kiss plays on repeat in his head, the memory of your smile almost tangible. Who would have thought a simple kiss on the cheek would have been enough to bring the always-composed, always-distant Barbatos back down to the realm of unstoppable, human emotion?
Maybe you returning his feelings isn’t as far-fetched a possibility as he’d thought.
leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own
The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.
Twst x Obey me!AFAB!reader
(Reader is Ob's MC)
CW:
•NO APPEARANCE SPECIFIED FOR READER.
•Poly.
•Cursing.
•Reader is referred to as "you" or they/them and even "he/him" because NRC boys refer to any living humanoid in the school as a male by default.
•Crowley.
•It's my first time writing a fanfiction, pls tell me if I should continue writing this.
(Random pic go brr—)
What will happen when a perpetually hungry-for-cuddles and tired-of-this-shit hooman gets kidnapped by a motherfucking horse and decides (kinda? Yeah nope. This wasn't by choice.) to enroll in a school full of problematic kids and their irresponsible af headmage?
Chaos. Pure and utter chaos with a lot of high-end simping in the mix (Along with the slightly unhinged urge to commit arson and burn a bitch to crisp)
So read as [y/n] tries to run away from the school-life while trying to just get back to their goddamn harem family (God saw this thought and decided that giving y/n more harem members is the appropriate course of action), all while juggling the harsh responsibilities of being a guardian, babysitter, therapist, healer, protector, local crush and celebrity for poor Yuu and the entirety of NRC.
("Pls send help" — y/n)
• • • • •
Disclaimer: You may have been kidnapped to a whole 'nother world and you may be on the verge of a mental breakdown, but you're sure as hell gonna look hot and serve cunt while you go through all your problems.
Prologue: 1
IMPORTANT: Mc will be referred to as they/them in this story, but in these beginning chapters a lot of people will refer to mc as a dude because y'know; NRC is an ALL BOYS school and nrc students came to expect that those in the school are all boys.(this'll change dw)
In order to avoid confusion, every time that the MC is addressed by others as he/him or more; I will color it blue. why blue? I find it easier to read.
Sample; 'He turned to them.'
The "He" in this passage is referring to MC because the character referring to them thinks that they're a guy.
REMINDER: This is Fanfiction! Not everything will be the same as canon because of this thing called the 'butterfly effect'.
• • • •
The Dorm Leaders + lilia were just about to call this Opening Ceremony over.
So close to getting out of this hall and finally being able to go on their merry ways to escort the new students back to their respective dorms before the hectic-ness of preparing for hours starts to catch up to them.
Though, things are never quite that easy in NRC.
A commotion with the students quite far from them leaves the majority of them annoyed/disgruntled. (Kalim is just confused and curious)
The headmaster rushes to check what was wrong only for a student to point out that there is an unopened coffin floating in a shadowy part of the hall.
Armed with the desire to get this shit over with and to avoid embarrassment from missing a coffin when he was going around opening them and also, with Yuu waiting near the mirror, the headmaster opens the coffin to wake the new student inside.
The dorm leaders walked closer to be able to quickly usher the new student to the dark mirror only to notice that the headmaster froze up.
"...Headmaster? Are you alright?" Azul "Boutta-do-sumthin-devious" Ashengrotto asked with faux concern.
"Ah– Ah yes! I'm alright Mr. Ashengrotto."
Crowley the bitch cleared his throat and reached inside the coffin to wake the student up.
"Hmm..."
The dorm leaders subconsciously or not, peaked inside the coffin before getting gobsmacked by the sleeping student.
Sure, the student looked quite cute ("New potential apple locked in" — Vil.) even with half of his face obstructed but what really drew their attention were the jewelries that he was wearing.
Three luxurious looking earrings on each of his ears, all unique from each other, all with a respective color and design except for that one earring with two gemstones connected to it, orange and indigo. Seven gems, six earrings
An ornament on his forehead that looks to be a combination of a circlet and a Ferronnière made from gold, with intricate black bat-like wings surrounding the red gemstone in the middle.
And that's just the jewelry on his head.
There's also the sleek black choker with a golden sheen on his neck with a teal gemstone surrounded by small diamonds hanging in the middle.
They don't know if this guy has anymore but the jewels they can see for now is more than enough for them to make the deduction that this student has some alot of money on his hands.
No wonder the Headmaster froze up.
Azul subconsciously starts fixing up his appearance when he starts to wake up, wanting to make a good impression on a potential, rich victim client.
• • • •
"Mmh... What the hell.. Why is the bed so hard.."
You mumbled as you stirred, feeling someone lightly shaking you awake.
You opened your eyes, expecting maybe the brothers, solomon, dia, barbs, simeon or luke but you were instead met with a face obscured by a dark bird mask.
"..."
"..."
"You have two seconds to unhand me before you lose your hands." or your life. Depends on who I can summon first.
You made your voice as cold and unwelcoming as possible as the man with the bird mask squawked and backed away a bit in shock.
"H– How rude..! I'll have you know that I was only–"
"Where am I?"
You cut off the weird looking bird-man as you scanned your surroundings and moved to come out of the coffin why were you in a coffin? you were in, in fear of it closing and locking you inside.
You glance warily to the bird-man while keeping an eye on the huge number of robed individuals that you can see. are you in a cult? Damnit, did one of the Brothers' crazy cults decide to kidnap you out of jealousy again??
Especially the seven (reminder that lilia is there with the Housewardens) closest to you and bird-dude.
Some solomon-kinnie motherfucker is currently eyeing you down like he's about to sell your kidneys to the black market or something.. Hmm... Your fight or flight instincts are telling you to sell HIS kidneys instead.
*Ehem*
Burd-dude cleared his throat and addresses you.
"It seems that the teleportation magic has left you disoriented... No matter, I can forgive your offense of trying to threaten me for I am gracious!"
He then looked weirdly like a combination of preening peacock and a proud chicken.
"I repeat. Where in the unholy trinity of the three realms, am I?"
Now that raised a few eyebrows.
You feel for the necklace under your clothes that Thirteen gave you, filing the question of why you're also wearing the same robe as these people away, in your head.
While the guy that you now dub-thee as "bird-bitch" started gawking at you and going on a tangent of being disrespectful, you scan the big hall/room you're in looking for ways to escape.
• • • •
Hmm... This new student seems to be a knowledgeable individual.
Lilia kept his gaze on the student, studying how he took on a defensive stance the moment he got out of the coffin.
They need to calm this student quickly before something happens.
The student seems to be confused on why he's here and is looking for a way to get out.
If the way his eyes moved around the room in quick succession is any indicator.
Not the first time that something like this happens but add in the magicless student's appearance, he gets the feeling that something strange will occur once again.
Seeing him take out and grasp the palm-sized gemstone of a whole 'nother necklace hidden under his robe how many trinkets does this boy have??, Lilia got ready to jump in the fray should something happen.
There's a possibility that the student can use that necklace as a weapon if that was what he chose to hold in this situation and not his other shiny ornaments.
Lilia was proven right when the necklace and the gemstone glowed and formed into a fancy-looking staff that the student quickly pointed towards Crowley.
He looked at the dorm leaders around him to see if any of them will do something.
...
yeah no. If anything, they look like they're watching an amusing show. Especially Schoenheit and Kingscholar..
Though it seems more like Riddle is still assessing the situation before he brings out his infamous collar.
Haahh.. Youngsters these days..
Chapter list | → PROLOGUE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
Elae: Sorry if my grammar is off, English isn't my first language.
Btw, Thanks for reading this far! Hope you enjoyed it😊
Srry if my format is also off, I've only been using tumblr for a few days now...
MOST IMPORTANTLY; Should I continue reading this fanfic? I wanna know if people still read Obey mexTwst stories here...
The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.
Chp.2
[TwstxObeyme!AFAB!reader]
Whoa.. 😳
Thanks for the feedback, likes and reblogs guys~ It really makes me happy that my hard work is appreciated😊
Guys, what gender should my story's Yuu be in? It's quite hard to refer to two different characters with both gender neutral pronouns 😅
READ FIRST; PROLOGUE:1
• • • •
Again; Pronouns used to refer to MC are blue, because MC will be mistaken for a guy a lot.
SYNOPSIS:
With the Opening Ceremony going off the rails for a second time, MC is more than eager to get back home and probably binge-watch their stress away with their emotionally-repressed boys.
Though with the current situation right now, they don't think that will be happening soon.. Oh well, at least they're not the only otherworldly outlier here... *Nightbringer flashbacks intensifies*
$o|0m°N?
On the other hand, Yuu makes a new friend.
Yuu doesn't know if this makes them a problematic person or not, but Yuu is happy that there's someone else in a similar predicament as them in this strange world, even if it meant that their new companion also had to be kidnapped by a problematic school/lowkey-highkey a cult to be here as well.
But of course, there's trouble in the horizon as the whole fiasco in the mirror ceremony caused the students of NRC to keep a close and careful gaze onto the MC. I'm talkin' from but not limited to; The Fish Mafia, Queen of hearts and Evil queen Incarnates, even down to your perfectly normal 500+ year old war-veteran that looks like a child.
Meanwhile, The Devildom, Human world, and The Celestial realm are feeling a sense of something foreboding in the air... It's probably nothing though.. right?......right?? The calm before the storm. Or the calm before anyone barges into MC's room.
Prologue: 2 Electric-boogaloo
Watching the mysterious and somewhat confused-looking student continuously dodge Riddle and Azul's spells with a calm expression, sharp gaze and a frightening precision, Lilia is waiting for the perfect time to jump in.
Preferably when the student ran in front of him so that he could tackle him to the ground.
Crowley isn't doing anything but screech. Again.
Haah....
• • • •
Azul's smile widens when this ever mysterious new student blocks Riddles' Signature spell by quickly spinning his fancy staff into a make-shift shield once again. what an interesting staff, transforming from a necklace into a cane that can be used for offense and defense..
Azul straight up grins he can see Schoenheit's smile and Kingscholar's shit-eating smirk from here, as well as hear Shroud's maniacal giggles when Riddle screeches at the student to just cooperate and that "NO WE ARE NOT A CULT!!!!" "That's what cults always say!"
Prompting a round of laughter from the useles– *ehem* new students in the hall. How annoying..
What an amusing lad.. Though, Azul wonders.. can all his other jewelry transform as well? Besides the earrings, choker, necklace and forehead ornament that he's wearing, the student also has a ring in his middle finger and in both of his ring fingers, a wide bracelet, and even some bangles in his ankles.
And if all of those jewels can transform into something?....Ohhh, then he really needs to get his hands on them asap.
Seeing Lilia gearing up to jump the student, Azul shifted a bit and tried to lead the student closer to Lilia.
Help idk how to describe shit💀
You click your tongue as you got surrounded by Mr. bird-bitch, that red-mf, Solomon-but-from-wish, Columbina's cousin, lion-dude, "I'm a bad-bitch with a sad past" guy, and a floating tablet.
You ended up getting bound by the bird-bitch's whip the moment you tried to leap off a window in your belphie-escaping-his-responsibilities style. Your pact mark of pride flickered, and Lucifer wonders what MC could be dreaming about for their pride to have taken a hit at this time of the night.
You turned your staff back into a necklace by then, so you couldn't really block the whip and that redhead's spell from hitting you.
You had socked Walmart-Solomon in the face though when he sneakily tried to take one of your bangles while you were being yanked back from the window. Satan stirred in his sleep, feeling but not registering the creeping irritation under your skin.
So now you're here, with a collar for your troubles and a whip locking your arms to your body.
You're just about to resentfully summon Lucifer or something when the redhead who collared you with this uncomfortable fugly-ass neckwear started lecturing you and shit about etiquette and how disrespectful you are for trying to leap out the window and how you should be honored to be there blahblahblah—
Hell no. You ain't letting this short-pimp talk to you like this. (You should really stop hanging around too much with Asmo. Or Levi when he's being a hater on the internet.)
Satan stirred once again, starting to rouse from his slumber as he felt your irritation start to turn into embers of anger.
Lucifer furrows his brows, feeling a rush of indignity that can only have come from you. But why? Weren't you in bed? He hasn't felt you leave through any of the detection barriers he'd set up around your room so you should still be inside, right?
"I think it's much more disrespectful to have your fuckin horses kidnap someone straight from their goddamn bed just to attend a little ceremony they've never even heard of."
You narrow your eyes as you see the bird-man and goons look taken aback in varying degrees of obviousness. (A figure near the mirror perked-up; 'Maybe this person is in a similar situation as them!')
Bruh, what the fuck did they expect??
• • • • •
The Vice-prefects of all seven dorms have led the new students out of the Ceremony hall, leaving behind the five (sorry Mal. Also, Jamil's ass definitely dragged Kalim out with him.) dorm leaders with the headmaster to solve the issues of the sTiLl-uNdEr-tHe-efFecTs-oF-tHe-teLepoRtaTioN-sPelL new student who utterly refuses to cooperate with them.
Riddle is about to combust, Leona wants to go back to bed only to be dragged back by the headmaster—, Vil wants his beauty sleep but was dragged back by that petty bitch, Leona—, While Idia and Azul decided to stick around for their own personal reasons. ("He looks like an anime character—" "Brother, I don't think it's good to be taking pictures of someone without permission—" "AHH–! O-ORTHO?!")
While Yuu is.. hiding behind the mirror.
(The kinda-silver haired guy seems to be in his seventh ritual of making sure his face didn't get bruised from the solid right hook to the face he got.)
(Yuu would've felt bad for him if the guy didn't have such a shady smile on his face while he was massaging his punched jaw.)
Meanwhile...
"Oy human, it's me!"
Mammon knocked on MC's door, fully intent on bothering their sleep and cozying up on their bed again.
He waited for a few seconds, no answer.
He knocked again.
No answer.
... Look, it's not like The Great Mammon is worried or anything but this is strange..
The human always answers their door after a knock or two even if it's the middle of the night.
... Dammit.
Mammon is full of grumbles as he consciously sharpens his senses, tryna sense his the human.
They better not be ignoring him or he'll–
Wait.
What? W- wait a second..
• • • •
The quietness of the night in the House of Lamentation vanished as the sound of a door being busted down rang out.
It's other residents could barely even register the sound before a shout rang out. A shout that sent dread right into their cores.
"MC?!"
← Pr. 1 | Chapter List | Prologue 3 →
'What the?! Why can't I summon them??'
Elae: Hehe~ I'm back with some food~
Thanks for reading this far, I hope you enjoyed this chapter😊
Btw, do y'all want Yuu to be a love interest?
How do I tag ppl??
The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.
[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]
CHP.3
CW: Same as before.
PREVIOUS CHAPTER: PROLOGUE 2
FUN FACT: You were just about to remove your unbelievable amount of jewelry and go to sleep when the dark carriage appeared in the middle of your room.
You didn't notice because you were busy tryna reach for your bangles but then you were suddenly yanked by the hair into the carriage where you quickly lost consciousness from the strong sleeping magic inside. That horse got no chill, wtf..
This is one of those times where you need to channel out your inner Belphegor.
Be loveably infuriatingly bratty and murderous at the same time.
Turns out, you were yanked by the hair and shoved into the carriage by that creepy looking horse because you were "chosen" by the dark mirror to attend their oh-so-prestigious college. (Move out the way Harry Potter, there's a new chosen one in town—)
So you decided to stress these fuckers into bringing you back to where their unhinged horse first took you.
You don't have to be a genius to know that if any of the brothers notice your disappearance, there can either be a war or a bloodbath. It's either one of those things or both of them.
So as you were freed and guided in front of the mirror by the bird-man who you've come to find out was the headmaster of this oh-so-grand college that you've never even heard of.. you side-eye the Mr. Boutta-sell-yo-kidneys guy that tried to take your bangles before you faced the mirror.
'...Hmm? Who's this?' You think, as you look at the person half-hiding behind the mirror.
They seemed to be quite nervous as they gave you a small wave, earning them a smile from you.
The headmaster seemed to be confused about them for a second but quickly remembered something as they called upon that person.
It seems that Yuu, quite a confusing name they've got also desires to be sent back to their home as they said they had responsibilities they must fulfill.
Nice.
Twinning with your problems fr.
It's like you two looked at each other and something just clicked.
Like, Omg we're both kidnapped by a school filled with hot men and forced to be their unpaid therapists, Slay gurly~ 💅🏼 sry it's your inner asmo talking.
You decide to let Yuu be the first to face the mirror so that they'll get home first.
Ah, aren't you so kind and patient?
You don't know anything about that mirror, so it's best that you let someone else have a go first to see if it's safe.
Sorry Yuu, we may have clicked but I don't know if I can trust any of you right now.
It's too risky.
If we ever meet again, I'll treat you to a meal in hell's kitchen as compensation.
Thank Belphie for my trust issues.
...
...Huh.. The place that Yuu belongs to "doesn't exist"?
What a strange response... This damn mirror better not give you the same words lest it wants to be melted out of existence via hellfire.
You can see the dudes behind y'all who turned out to be the housewardens of the dorms of this school start whispering to each other like some nosy aunties on a regular sunday morning.
You gave reassuring pats on Yuu's shoulder after they went back beside you, getting a shaky smile in return.
"I'm sure that it'll be okay.. Their dark carriage took you so it must have the capabilities to take you back, right?" You whispered to Yuu, trying to keep them from panicking as you notice their breaths starting to quicken.
"People in distress are prone to being exploited and manipulated by others. Breathe slowly and calm your mind." You lean closer to their ear, rubbing small circles on their back.
Panicking won't help anyone. You had to learn that from experience. Now you just want to make sure that Yuu doesn't have to.
You may be alright with using this new acquaintance of yours to verify the safety of the mirror, but you won't stand by and watch them expose their vulnerability to a group of people that haven't really made a show of good morals they might possess.
As the headmaster guy started going on a rant about how "tHiS hAvE nEvEr hApPenEd bEfoRe" you keep an eye on the five housewardens dudes, seeing as those guys were eyeing you and Yuu lmao💀 like they were looking at some weird... thing.
Except for the shady mf who's looking straight at you with his weird-ass smile.
Really giving you the impulse to sock him in the face again.
(Oh, and also that tablet that kept taking pictures of you thinking that they were slick when you can hear the click every time a pic was taken.)
The headmaster then guided you to the mirror, mumbling pleas for the reflective object to work properly.
"I... I seem to be unable to reach the place that you call home.."
The mirror spoke, troubled and seemingly confused.
Yuu peeks at your face, before paling and trying to get closer to comfort you the way that you did for them, only to full on try to tackle you when you bring out your staff to try and break the damned thing.
If you can't bring me home then maybe I can take your power and do it myself.
MEANWHILE...
"There are traces of what seems to be teleportation magic as well as a smidgen of sleeping magic mixed in, on center of MC's room."
Solomon stated, glancing at the people sitting around the big oval table inside Diavolo's castle.
If anyone else saw the attendance in this little meeting of theirs, they'd have a heart attack.
I mean, when will you ever see representatives of the celestial realm mingling with those of the devildom, the human world and the grim reaper in such a serious manner?
You'd think there's an intergalactic threat on the loose if you ever see their expressions..
But that's the thing.
You weren't there to see them.
That's the problem.
Someone or something took you away from them.
Those connected to you via pact can still feel your emotions and connections through your pact marks but nothing more.
At this rate, they worry that you're too far to reach because they couldn't get to you through their pacts. Where could you be?
The only reassurance they have that you're fine, is your candle in Thirteen's hands.
The last string of reason they have that is keeping them from drowning in their grief and anger.
The burning flame of your candle gave them comfort and fueled their determination to bring you back into their arms.
Don't worry MC, we'll bring you back.
No matter what it takes.
← Pr. 2 | Chapter List | Pr. 4 →
I'm tryna sketch my MC, but it's taking a long-ass time.
Elae: Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter y'all😊
Don't forget to like, comment, and reblog guys, it really helps me out :3
See y'all next time~
(still tryna figure out tagging)
@leviathans-tail-scales
@f0uerleafedcl0ver
@a-traveling-void-human
@pumafiredraw
@lunasakuravalentine
I tried to tag all of y'all but it won't work for some reason :c
The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.
[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]
CHP. 4
PREVIOUS CHP.: PROLOGUE 3
Thank you guys for the likes, reblogs and comments.
Also, to the people who became my followers, I'll be forever grateful for that😊
CW: When MC gets mistaken as a guy, they get referred to as he/him, but the problem is that there's too many males around the MC.
So, I've decided to color the pronouns blue when it's MC that's being addressed. Just to avoid confusion.
CLARIFICATION: The headmaster, and MC knows that Yuu is from another world, so MC decided to play along and pretend that they're from the same world as Yuu. (The human world where MC came from is mostly similar to the human world that Yuu describes. i.e. landmarks, cultural, knowledge, current trends, anime and manga are all mostly the same.)
REMEMBER: Read this before the chapter.
Experience changes people.
If you see MC doing something you think you won't do and you decide to complain about it, remember this:
• You act the way you do because of the things that you've gone through in your life.
• MC is the same.
• They experienced a lot of traumatic events and almost lost their lives a fuck-ton of times.
• Because of that, they've changed. They've diverged from being you into the MC that they are now.
• The life you're living now shall be treated as the MC's canonical past.
• Also, because The Obey Me!cast feels bad from all the times you suffered and almost died because of them, they tend to overcompensate you.
• You get dressed in the finest of fabrics, most luxurious jewels, as well as housed and fed with the best things that the three realms have to offer.
• You don't take them for granted, but years of living with that lifestyle had raised your standards to new heights and changed the way that you act towards certain things.
• You're free to make up your own head canons if you don't like mine, also y'all can give me feedback if you want so I can improve my work.
• This story will be set a few years after the canon of the Obey Me games.
• • • • •
Who would've thought that it would be a bad idea to try to trick someone who literally reeks of luxury to live in an old, bout-to-fall-apart dormitory?
Well, certainly not Crowley.
That fact became known when 'The shady looking dorm leader™' and also, the tablet decided to tag along with you, Yuu and Crowley, but then had to help Yuu in holding you back so that you wouldn't beat the ever living crap out of the headmaster the moment he dared to bring y'all in front of this rustic establishment and say "It had charm". (Too many You's)
Oh really? really?? Oh you'll see real charm when I beat you straight into the afterlife you greasy son of a bitc–
*Ehem*
It did not end well.
So instead of that, the headmaster had to temporarily put you and your fellow stranded-in-dis-school-human into the infirmary as your temporary abode and promised to fix the shoddy dorm so that it can safely house people in it. (Grim will appear in the future, dw)
*Que Azul tryna make you stay in Octavinelle and you vehemently declining that offer.*
Also, you're starting to get creeped-out by the floating tablet that keeps following you around and won't stop with taking pictures. there's also the small maniacal giggles coming out of the device.
• • • • • •
So there you two are, two people that've been kidnapped by this school's fuckin carriage are now bonding in the infirmary and distracting each other by venting about problems back home. (You two are too wary to be able to sleep properly.)
Like, yes Yuu, I'm in a polyamorous with more than a dozen problematic individuals.
Yes, it works out. somehow
Damn, three assignments due tomorrow all from the same subject? Have you ever tried cheating off of your classmates?
Oh— wait what?! a classmate from biology was caught fucking with a professor in a classroom!? Seriously??
No, I unfortunately no longer have a grasp on the concept of private space and poverty.
Yes, maintaining a relationship with a lot of people at the same time can be hard.
A lot of them are rich.
Wait, a seatmate of yours really gave two free expensive sketch pads just because you asked?? Where can I find that person??
Yes they all act like my sugar daddies and my man-children in one way or another.
No, don't you dare pimp yourself out, okay? There may be a lot of people in my life but the important thing is that we all love each other.
We support, comfort, protect, and guide each other to the best we can.
No— that didn't happen in a day, I had to bend over backwards and almost die a shit-ton of times before I managed to wiggle myself firmly into the hearts of those fuckers.
...Q- Questions about our sex life will be automatically ignored.
Just.. be nice to others, even if it's seemingly stupid.
Unless they are absolute scum then just maintain distance.
You just gotta eyeball it to figure out when to stop being nice to someone.
Never and I mean NEVER treat anyone badly unless they did something unforgivable to you.
Don't call me kind. It's easier to have a grasp on other people if you're nice.
Pft— You once saw a book called "How to be a sugar baby 101" in the school library?! And you saw your principal reading it?!
Sure-sure, I'll help you with your math homework— wait a second.. Seriously?? We've been kidnapped, I ain't allowing you to do math. Where the hell did you even hide that thick-as-fuck test sheet anyways?? Up your ass?!
• • • •
You sigh for the third time this hour, looking at Yuu who's making a "Mom.. I threw up in the carpet... I'm sowwy🥺" expression as they stand beside your bed.
"What happened?"
Yuu winced, feeling embarrassed as they hear you talk to them like a disappointed parent, they had failed to appeal to Crowley about becoming a temporary student of this school and now had to be a janitor/errand kid.
"The headmaster said that I'll be the handy-man of the campus while he searches for a way to get us home..."
You feel a vein in your head throb and your eye start to twitch by of the sheer audacity being shown in front of your face.
You are now feeling the immense urge to hex that bird-bitch.
Satan sat straight in his seat, speaking out to the others in the meeting table.
"I can feel irritation and the urge to curse someone again." He said.
It would've been funny if this was another situation.
"That's definitely from MC, isn't it? You mentioned being half-asleep and feeling MC get agitated through your pact mark, right?" Diavolo asked.
"Yes, at least our pacts are still intact..." Satan nodded.
"Great, we can use this to monitor MC even if they're far away." Lucifer stated.
Countless search-parties and interrogations have already been conducted, but they're still clueless on where you can be or who could've taken you.
Even Barbatos couldn't see what had happened.
They're starting to get agitated, MC..
• • • • •
Jade watched as Azul frantically drafts and redrafts a new plan of his.
It seems that something caught the eye of their housewarden in the ceremony today.
"What could be so eye-catching that you're in such a hurry to obtain it, Azul?" Jade couldn't contain his curiosity and asked.
"It's a new student, Jade." Azul started.
"He possesses such a large amount of magical artifacts in his hands, It's unbelievable! They were all high quality too!"
Jade blinks.
"Don't you have enough magical artifacts around?"
Jade is confusion.
"You don't know it because you weren't there." Azul narrowed his eyes at Jade.
"I first thought those jewelry of his were similar to the ones that you can buy with enough money in annual auctions, but then I realized that it's very likely that those jewelry are customized."
"...How so?"
"So I decided to try and take a closer look, but when I actually got closer and almost touched one of them, I felt a strong thrum of magic that I haven't felt before!"
Oh?
Now that got Jade's attention.
Azul has been exposed to a lot of strong, powerful people and magical artifacts over the years that he and his twin were following this dormleader of theirs and yet there was actually an artifact so strong that he can feel strong waves of magic by just almost touching it?
How curious..... If the magic of the artifact was so strong, why didn't Azul sense it up until he literally almost held it in his hands?
Seems like this year won't be boring, after all..
• • • • •
BONUS: Someone has a crush.
"Brother, Your package has arrived— What are you... Are you making fan art of Mr. [L/n]...?"
Idia screams like a dumb girl in a horror movie as he tries to block the screen with his body.
"O-ORTHO?! WH-WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KNOCKING FIRST??!"
"And... what's with the pose?"
Ortho tilts head innocently, confused on why his brother is drawing a new student in a pose that can often be seen on videos that are called "Thirst traps". he's still confused about why they're called that way.
Idia: "O- ORTHO THIS ISN'T ANYTHING BAD I SWEARAHGJSI—"
*Starts to fuckin steam*
"brOTHER YOU'RE BURNING THE CHAIR!"
"AH CRAP!"
← Pr.3 | Chapter List | Pr. 5 →
Don't forget to like, comment and reblog guys, It's a big help :3
What do y'all think of the chapter? pls respond, I need feedback🥺
I woke up today and decided to kick canon's ass.
Elae: Thanks for reading this far.☺️
See y'all next time~
Next chapter: Prologue 5
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@citrus-cinnamon
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The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.
[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]
CHP. 5
Previous chapter; Prologue 4
CW: Same as previous chapters.
The start of the "Rose-Red Tyrant aka. Satan but tiny🌹" is nearing, y'all 🤭
Next morning...
You dragged Crowley to a quiet corner of the infirmary while temporarily kicking Yuu out, just so that you and this squawking headmaster can have a heart-to-heart discussion about the roles that you and Yuu will play in the future as Crowley tries to search for your way home.
"You try to make me and Yuu work as janitors and I will skin you alive."
"You can't just—"
"Trust me, no one will ever find your goddamn body."
You cut him off, looking at him dead-in-the-eye, full of seriousness.
You're not about to get demoted into a janitor today, nuh uh.
Not now, not ever.
Crowley can go fuck himself.
"It's the responsibility of your goddamn school to compensate us for this situation and yet you try to make us into your errand boys? I gotta give you some credit man– I mean, that audacity is through the fucking roof!"
Crowley shrinks to himself a little bit, you may not be raising your voice but you're sure as hell figuratively spitting enough venom on him that it almost burns his skin. Looks like the years of mingling and having a pact with the avatar of pride is starting to pay off.
"Actually trying to get us to go around like servants at your beck at call?! You actually dare??"
"Like seriously? Do you have any idea how hectic my daily schedule already is? Because of your damn carriage I'm a whole world away from home! And yet you have the face to try and use us for labor like we wanted to be here?? How shameless can you be?!"
With each venomous spat of yours, Crowley shrinks more and more into himself as he starts fiddling with his fingers.
He takes quick glimpses of your 'Angry-Disappointed Asian Mom Pose™' and attempts to make himself look even more smaller.
• • • • •
After that verbal beat down, you calmed yourself and decided to be a part-time nurse of this school while Yuu can be your part-time assistant. Things will be easier if you're a part of the faculty, or will you be? you'll only be a part-timer after all... though, being a nurse in the infirmary is easier than running around in this campus sweeping floors and cleaning shit. You also need money to earn necessities. Ugh, what a pain...
You then decided to drag the now-too-timid Crowley by the ear straight into his office so that you two can discuss your paychecks. With written contracts and a witness.
. . . . . . .
. . . . .
. . .
.
"What happened here?"
You asked, seeing Yuu standing beside a charred statue as a ginger and a cat scrambled to get away, only to end up getting tied by Crowley's whip as the man scolds them and Yuu for some reason.
.
You can feel years of your lifespan being shaved off when the ginger (who you've learned had been the cause of this mess) had the audacity to be shocked that he's also going to be punished for the charring of the 'Queen of hearts' statue.
It looks like being absolutely shameless is a prerequisite to be enrolled in this goddamn college.
"Hold your horses crow-man, why is Yuu being punished when they weren't even involved in burning that damn statue?"
.
So... it turns out... You may have infected Yuu with your potty mouth and chronic bitchy-ness that Yuu is actually responsible for further escalating the fight between the ginger -Ace- and the cat -grim... srsly?- as by copying the way you speak and ended up immensely bruising Ace's ego with their insults... You don't know if you should be proud of that fact or not..
You turned to the headmaster.
"...Yuu cleans 15 windows. That's the most you can give them. You can give the rest of the 100 windows to the ginger and the cat."
"Oi!—" Ace tried to speak, only for Yuu to discreetly cover his mouth. Ain't no way they're letting Ace stop you from tryna lessen their cleaning sentence.
Crowley seems to want to say something so you spoke even quicker, raising your voice so that the students around can hear you.
"Those windows are taller than Yuu and I can ever dream to be in our entire lives. You aren't going to make a magicless human clean more than 15 of those things are you?"
*Close-eyed smile*
"Well—" Crowley sputtered.
"Oh who am I kidding! Of course you won't! You're a very gracious and benevolent headmaster, aren't you..? There's no way you'll risk straining and over-working a magicless minor over a mistake they didn't even directly cause, would you~?"
*Happily clasping your hands together*
"Erm..."
Crowley would've gone back to shrinking his frame and fiddling with his fingers if there weren't students around, the face you're making is just scaring him too much... That kind of smile that made him want to meet your expectations or else..
"Ahh~ I'm soo~ happy that kind people like you are in charge of the youth! Knowing a young one's limits and adjusting to them even if they've made a big mistake! You are such an amazing educator, headmaster!"
The students, Yuu, Grim and Ace stared blankly at you, gobsmacked – exasperated – flabbershamabergasted by the stunt you're pulling.
There's no way that would work right..?
. . . .
. . right??
Crowley clears his throat, thankful that more than half of his face is covered by his mask, lest his red face be seen by all.
"A- ah yes, you're absolutely right Mr. [L/n]. Th- there's no way I can be such a callous individual, Yuu shall clean 15 windows while Grim and Trapolla will clean the rest."
He said speedily before making a swift exit, looking like a chicken with his tail on fire.
You sharply gazed at the students around and opened your mouth.
"Any of you have a fuckin problem with us?"
Those words caused the other students to start speed-walking away and the Weasley-lookin-mf scrambled to free himself from Yuu's hand.
• • • • •
Heterochromia eyes gleamed from a shady corner near the statues of the great seven.
"Hehe~ looks like Azul is right to be interested with the little cone snail–chan~"
• • • • •
MC... please.. be safe.
We'll find you, don't worry..
Then we'll make sure that no one will take you from us ever again.
← Pr. 4 | Chapter List | Pr. 6 →
Don't forget to like, and reblog guys, it really helps me and gives me motivation :>
Elae: Thanks for reading this far y'all, I really appreciate all of you 🤭
See you guys next time. <3
@leviathans-tail-scales
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The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.
[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]
CHP. 6
PREVIOUS CHAPTER: PROLOGUE 5
I get really happy every time one of you guys like, reblog, or comment on my chapters, Thanks guys :3
CW: ANYTIME that MC is referred with male address or pronouns it's going to be color blue. There's also a shit-ton of cursing here.
You can feel your blood pressure ascending into the Celestial Realm (faster than a newly deceased good person) as this Azul Asheng-something mf drags you into his oh-so-fancy "Monstro Lounge" while you're just peacefully trying to fuck off from his dorm.
You were unfortunately curious enough to go poke your head into the mirrors leading to the dorms to see what they've got and use it as inspiration, but then this greasy-ass bitch sadly spotted you and literally hounded you to go in.
You would've socked him in the face for a second time but it turns out that he's a pretty important figure in this school.
You don't really wanna get in trouble for doing that.
(You may be able to do it to Crowley but you don't know if this attempted-bangle-thief has influential parents or something.. Crowley meanwhile, acts pretty parent-less for you.)
You are keeping an eye on him though.
If he tries any bullshit then he's getting his ass kicked.
Social hierarchy be damned.
You didn't rein in 10 demons, 3 angels, The greatest sorcerer in all of humanity and The literal fuckin grim reaper, (who're all constantly dragging you onto bullshit as either an accomplice or the baby-sitter) just for some dude in an Emo-friendly-cut-my-life-into-pieces college to best you.
• • • •
Jade did a double-take.
"..."
He blinked.
Azul is sending him SOS signals by blinking morse code at him.
Jade rubbed his eyes for a few seconds.
"..."
Nope, still the same.
Azul: *Blinking for help intensifies*
...Pft–
He bit his lip to stop his laughter from escaping.
Who would've thought that he'll see a day where his precious housewarden is having his face passive-aggresively squished and kneaded by a new student? And also, probably getting himself threatened based on the eerie smile on the students' face.
Azul should be grateful that floyd isn't here, lest he'll have two people on his hands that are more than happy to squish him around. He should be grateful there isn't anyone else around, really.. Lest the reputation he took so long to build crumbles.
Oh he can just imagine it at the top of his head.. The poor octo-mer will probably combust from embarrassment and maybe even go find himself an octo-pot that he can shimmy himself into.. oh how he misses those days...
(Elae: I'm just imagining baby Azul shimmying into a lil pot.. Ugh, so adorable I'm getting cute aggression.)
He does eventually step in to stop the student from treating Azul's face like a squishy piece of dough He took a couple of pictures ofc. he ain't an amateur, but not before almost getting his own face fall victim to the new students' hands.
• • • •
"You try this shit again and see what happens." You smiled at him as you squished his face.
He's still holding onto your wrists but he seems to have given up from escaping your passive-aggresive face massage. Instead, he seems to have settled in blinking so fast he can almost fly with his eyelashes.
This bitch really had the audacity to try and get you to sell your jewelry to him in exchange for a room in his frankly unimpressive dorm. (You have more than a dozen rich and powerful simps. A dorm in a college ain't gonna be enough to impress you anymore.)
"— I know that you must not have any money to pay but maybe we can compromise, it's gonna be hard for you and your friend (Yuu) to keep staying in the infirmary after all.."
"We can manage—"
"And my benevolence will not allow me to let some poor unfortunate souls be without accommodations... So what if, for a week of stay each, you give me your jewelry in retur—"
You got so pissed at the audacity that you almost strangled him but changed your tactic into a hateful squeezing the last second. (You can't be reported for physically violent behavior rn.)
He speaks as if the entirety of this college and its dorms can actually be worth even a single piece of the ring in your left hand.
But seriously? 15,000 madols (that's the price Azul told you) for one night of stay?? If you're gonna be paying that much money for a single room, then that room better solve all your problems, fulfill your greatest ambitions and then suck your imaginary dick afterwards.
Your annoyed musings were cut off when a hand tries to remove your grip from Azul's face.
You absent-mindedly reach your other hand, trying to deliver another kneading to a new victim.
• • • • •
Azul covers his face with his hand, embarrassed of how the situation played out.
It doesn't help that Floyd is cackling like a deranged maniac at him right now.
Thank goodness they're in his office.
"Can you stOp?!"
Poor bbg was so embarrassed his voice cracked :<
Hmph.
Jokes on you, even if he got embarrassed today he still got closer to your jewelry.
And now, he can 100% confirm that those ornaments aren't just for decorations.
The strong magic from your rings that were pressed against his face confirmed it.
Those things are definitely custom-made magical artifacts of the highest caliber.
Now.. How to get them...
• • • • •
You stopped walking, feeling someone's gaze on you.
Looking around discreetly, you didn't see anyone but you can still feel the eyes on your form.
Yeah no.
You continue on, ignoring the feeling of being watched, but not going to dark places or spots where you'll be all alone.
Time to check in on Yuu and their unwilling gang of window cleaners.
See if they're done already.
The sun is starting to go down, after all.
• • • • •
Mc... We're going to come find you.
Don't worry..
Please stay safe..
Please don't forget that we love you more than anything else in existence..
0u® |!gHt įN tH€ d@RkN€§$
← Pr. 5 | Chapter List | Pr. 7 →
EDIT: WTF WHY DID THIS CHAPTER GET POSTED?! I SAVED IT IN THE GODDAMN DRAFTS THIS AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DONE YET WHAT THE HELL?!
Oh welp, ain't nothing I can do about it now..
Thanks for reading this far, readers☺️
Reblog or I'll bite ya ankles😈
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Tagging isn't working for some reason so I can't tag some of y'all. The usernames I tagged just fuckin disappearing.
Tumblr is messing with me rn.
You wanna throw hands, Tumblr??
List of Chapters for my fanfiction named;
The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.
Prologue (Shit's about to go down.)
(Pls reblog, it gives motivation :3)
(P.s If there's anything wrong with the links, pls tell me)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Tyrannical blood rose (Aka. Catan's anger issues mixed with Luke's height, and amplified by Luci's legendary stick up the ass.)
• Chp. 1.1
• Chp. 1.2
• Chp. 1.3 (Yet to be available)
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Sunset Revolution (Aka. Belphie but with less yanda-yandar-eyi and more turning people into sanda-sandy-eyi.)
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Fishy practices (Aka. Solomon but somehow shadier due to the lack of fucks given towards the betterment of humanity. Feat. Barbatos' clone + his chaotic lookalike.)
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One man coup d'etat (Aka. It's snek boi time with illegal imprisonment in what is equivalent to a boot camp sprinkled in for some flavor.)
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The envy of the fairest (Aka. Asmodeus but with less manwhore tendencies. Both serving cunt nonetheless)
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Be my Persephone (Aka. Why is no one in this goddamn school normal?! Ortho put the particle canon down—)
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Sleeping beauty got nothing on this perfect bitch. (Aka. Ass-kissing to authority gone wrong.)
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The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.
[Twst x ObeyMe!AFAB!reader]
CHP. 7
Again, I thank y'all for the reblogs, likes and comments guys, it really helps me :)
CW: Blue pronouns or address for MC every time they get mistaken for a guy. Also, I'm a potty mouth so MC is too.
Inhale..
Exhale....
Inhale......
Exhale.......
Inhale.........
Ex-fucking-hale.......
You're about to have a stroke right now.
You should've just went back to the goddamn infirmary instead of checking in on these obnoxious, bitch-less, probably father-less, motherfuckers.
It's just cleaning windows!! How the hell can you mess up like this?! Why the fuck did the cafeteria chandelier get involved??
GODDAMNIT!! WHY IS YUU INVOLVED AS WELL?! AHHHH—!
*One eternity of screaming like a banshee later*
After sending those damn kids and cat away to get some sort of magical stone in some godforsaken mine, you wrangled with the headmaster for at least two hours to prevent him from writing up the expulsion papers of Yuu and that Blue-haired kid who was mostly innocent about the ordeal.
(Meanwhile, encouraging him to kick that Ace kid and the damn cat off the school. You ain't about to let audacity run free rn, mostly because you feel yourself start genuinely tweaking as you almost got possessed by the urge to sucker punch someone's soul out of their body.)
[Satan perked up, there it was again.
That distinctive spark of wrath that he can feel through your pact with him is both concerning and comforting.
On one hand, the anger he feels means that you're alive. And seeing that what he's feeling through the pact is mostly annoyance, then that must mean that nothing marginally bad or traumatizing had happened to you yet.
You're actually more pissed off in a 'someone-had-the-audacity-to-eat-my-snacks' kind of way more than anything else, meaning that you're safe for now.
But on the other hand, he doesn't know how long that temporary safety will last.
There's also the fact this is the fourth time he'd felt that spark of 'I-wanna-punt-someone-into-the-fuckin-sun' kind of anger from you, which is worrying because it hasn't even been 48 hours since you were kidnapped by some mf.
He shook his head, calling upon a subordinate (read: Devoted fan) to collect more and more books to learn what type of teleportation and sleeping magic was used in your kidnapping.
With the massive search party spanning all three realms that they'd called upon, they will find you sooner or later.
And once they do...
Well... You'll need to get used to being with someone at all hours of the day.]
*Passive-aggresively reminding Crowley that he can't kick out an innocent kid for something they didn't directly do as they had no way of stopping the events that transpired.*
["You don't want the word to get out that you let an innocent teen roam around in a foreign world with absolutely nothing to their name and nobody to protect them, right?"
"That is true, but I still can't just let this go unpunis–"
"Especially when it's the school's faulty equipment that took them so far away from all of their loved ones and belongings, right?"]
Needless to say, Yuu ended up being "fired" in the end, quite an unfortunate result because they will need to freeload off of you until the end of your stay in this world. (Poor them, they got fired before they knew that they had a job in the first place.)
Oh well, it's better than being kicked out from practically their only way back home right now...
Hays... That cruel crow..
Anygays, it's time to snoop around and hopefully make some connections to the residents of this school.
This is a well-known college, right? So there should be influential people here somewhere...
Hehe.. It's time you bring out your gaslight, gatekeep, gold-digging skills so that you can girlboss your way into stability inside this foreign world.
• • • • • •
Suddenly, more than a dozen individuals felt a strong shiver run up their spines.
Haha... Well that's ominous!
• • • • • •
Ortho deadpanned at his brother.
It seems that almost burning down their dorm room last night isn't enough to deter him from making his [Mr. L/n x reader] fanfiction complete with mandatory fan art for every single chapter.
Haaa....
But at least his brother isn't 'fanboying' about another fictional character again...
Hm... Now that he thinks about it..
Maybe his brother will be more inclined to make friends if it's Mr. L/n!
And thus begins Ortho's journey of being an unknowing wingman as he tries to get his introverted brother to make friends.
• • • • • •
You narrowed your eyes as you looked at the small gift on top of your temporary bed in the infirmary.
Dats suspicious....
Dats weird......
You turn your necklace into a staff and start poking the box, trying to see if it'll suddenly turn into a horrific eldritch monster and jump you. (Won't be the first time that happened.)
• • • • •
"It is done, ××× ×× ××××××" (This is too easy to guess😑)
• • • • •
Diavolo sighed for the tenth time that hour, lamenting how trying to focus on his paperwork is a really hard task when MC gets thrown into the situation.
'Maybe a small break will help clear my head?'
He might as well just go out for a walk in the garden to get some fresh... air...
Oh? what is this?
His eyes scanned the dark envelope he'd seen wedged under the 'To burn' stack of paperwork in his desk.
This envelope wasn't here yesterday...
After confirming that the piece of paper wasn't cursed or charmed, he opened it with apprehension.
...!
This..!
• • • • •
Barbatos appeared in the office, tense as he'd heard his lord call out his name with haste.
Reading the letter shoved in front of his face by the serious Diavolo, Barbatos made a mental note to get the dungeon chambers ready.
They've got themselves a lead.
← Pr.6 | Chapter List | Chp. 1.1 →
Just tell me if y'all wanna get added in the permanent taglist, even if I already tagged y'all here.
That's just so I'll know if you wanna get tagged in all the upcoming chapters of this fanfic.
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Reblog or I'll take your ankles😈 (Pls like and reblog, it really gives me motivation🥺)
Also, the next chap is the start of Arc 1: Satan but short.
The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.
[Twst x Obeyme!AFAB!reader]
CHP. 1.1: The start of the Blood Rose Tyrant.
Thank you, my amazing readers, for all the likes, comments, and reblogs🥹 It makes so happy, like– almost nothing can top the joy of seeing y'all liked my work :)
Btw, If you have any questions about my tagging and/or literally anything you wanna ask me bout the fic, just reach out to me and I'll try my best to answer you.😊
CW: Cursing, Idk what else... There's also the pronoun schtick I've been yapping about since pr. 1. (i.e MC will get mistaken for a pretty guy a lot -Mc is AFAB referred to as they/them- because the NRC cast have come to expect only boys to be in the school. Excluding the paintings ofc.)
(My pic)
Fun fact: While all of your ornaments act as containers to very *nom*-able amounts of magic, such a thing can be dangerous as it may give away your location if you need to hide or run away from someone.
Therefore, all of them were cast with a special spell developed by Solomon that makes it so that people can't sense that magic unless they're really close to you physically.
(Not to mention, only exceptional mages can actually have the hope of picking up on that magic as your all jewelry were also cast with a heavy magical concealment blessing from both Micheal and Luke.)
• • •
'What the hell is this?'
You think as you fiddled with the fancy pouch in your hands.
You had opened the gift box to find the pouch containing some basic skincare products and just went; ( •_•)..?
Like– What the hell? Who does that?? Are they saying that you're ugly and needed to start taking care of your face?! Well excuse you, I'll have you know –whomever you are– that this face was approved by Asmodeus himself you rude lil' shi—
*Ehem*
So like any sane person is supposed to do in that situation, you checked if the products were cursed or charmed and then pocketed it to maybe sell it in the future for some cash. (Lovely gift but you were taught never to use/ingest things given to you by strangers.)
Leaving the infirmary, you venture into the botanical garden, hoping you'd find some edible plants that you and Yuu can nibble on until you can procure other food options and some all important moneh. (Ugh, if only that damn crow didn't escape and hide away from you, you would've extorted his cowardly-ass and bought some food instead of needing to resort to this bs.)
'Trying to find a stone in a long abandoned mine is simply a fools errand.'
You thought as you absent-mindedly skipped past a certain tall, dark, and handsome man with horns, unknowing of the look of pure curiosity pointed at your back as you continued your musings.
'But oh well, they wanted to try so they might as well be those fools.'
You're not gonna stop them if they wanna try to fix things even though you've mostly stabilized the situation. (Not that they know.)
Damn, you also need to go to the library later so that you can learn what changes you'd need to do in order to adapt and know the problems you'd likely experience in this world.
Knowing yourself and your history for being a magnet of chaos, It'd probably involve almost dying more times than you have fingers and unearthing some deeply-buried soul-crushing trauma in which the only thing you'll get in return are the friends you've made along the way.
Aside from that though, you'd need to gain yourself a foothold in this society.
Preferably, there would be a lot of rich and influential people in this school to suck up to, but if those aren't enough then maybe you can venture into industries where you can kiss-ass in peace.
As much as you'd love to be optimistic, Crowley is the almost literal embodiment of a dead-beat dad barely pays child-support and your own search for a way home may take years before coming to fruition.
Tsk. You can feel your stress levels transcending the mortal plane of existence again as you can already envision the figurative mountain-range you'd need to climb just to achieve stability in this place.
$°\•m°n.. p/€∆$3.. H€\₱ m£...
Times like these just make you wanna curl up onto the floor in a fetal position and let the earth consume you whole.
Oh! And you also need to obtain a stronger blackmail material against Crowley to make sure he won't try anything remotely against you.
'Hmm... But maybe...'
You think as you took a quick and discreet glance to a security camera that had been "coincidentally" pointed at you.
Well, not really a coincidence.
If the mf behind these creepy-ass cameras —that have been watching you since your arrival here, mind you—, can lend you a hand then that would be the optimal outcome. There are a lot of security cameras after all...
Though there's also a large possibility that the fucker wanted you dead because of either boredom, simple bloodlust, money, vengeance (for some reason), your organs or all of the above.
You sighed as you entered the botanical garden, telling yourself to just worry about that later and focus on finding food.
If you get in trouble for taking plants here, you'll just throw Crowley under the bus. (figuratively and literally if he decides to be a bitch about it.)
• • • •
Yuu, Grim, Ace, and Deuce stumbled out of the mirror, finally away from the creepy forest and back into the college.
They all flinched and turned their heads back when they heard a dramatic 'Tsktsktsk–' from behind them.
"Well well well~ Look who finally decided to show up at–"
*checks imaginary wrist watch*
"46 minutes past midnight.. Huh.. If you all got any curfew for your dorms then you're both toast. Can't believe y'all spent more than five hours looking for a single rock..."
You said, referring to the two first years who flinched under your words and judgemental eyes.
"You all look like shit by the way."
Yuu awkwardly scratched their head.
"Thanks?"
*Sigh...*
"You're welcome, bbg."
"Just hurry up and give that rock to the fuckin crow already so that you all can spare the world from having to witness anymore of your gross, sweaty, homeless-lookin selves."
Deuce shrunk even further behind Yuu. (funny because Yuu was at least half-a-head shorter.)
Ace meanwhile, has too much ego to not say anything back.
"We wouldn't be looking like this if you at least helped!" He snarked.
"Why should I?"
You Dwayne-the-rock-Johnson raised your eyebrow at him.
"I don't owe any of you a smidgen of literally anything so why should I help?"
It wasn't a question, but a statement. Because why should you help? They should be grateful you even talked Crowley out of expelling them immediately. Not that they know but still...
But of course, audacity is gonna audacity. Because, Ace really had the nerve to look offended by your words, as if you weren't saying something as truthful as the sky being blue, the grass being green, and your ass being a literal masterpiece from god.
"Don't even try to pass off the blame, Weasley-wannabe. I know it, you know it, your mom knows it, your dad if you have one, your entire bloodline and your non-existent cow knows it, there's literally no point."
Ace literally almost snarled at you like a damn dog, pft– That's what he gets from pissing you off by existing earlier.
"Oh shut up!"
He then looked like he was about to start a rant of how unfair his life was and how he totally didn't deserve any of this and blahblahblahblahblah–
You swear on Diavolo and Luci's fruity man-boobs, you'll hang this bitch upside down like a bat if you had to hear another complaint about things being unfair for him.
What about you? or Yuu? Isn't life more cruel and unfair to you two? Taking you both away from loved ones and shoving you into a world where you two need to fight for a temporary sanctuary as you both try to go home with no real proof you'll actually be able to make it back?
Isn't life more unfair to you? Right when you almost finally achieved the start of your happy ending.. You were taken away from the people that you fought tooth and nail to be with.. And now, they're all too far away for you to reach... again.
Deuce elbowed Ace, thankfully making the jab to the ribs painful for the annoying ginger.
You dramatically sighed again, turning to Yuu and Deuce.
"Remember kids, don't copy Ace's attitude okay? Lest you want to end up single and with no bitches for the rest of your life."
Ace's right eye twitched erratically, shouting at you to shut up and to stop messing with him.
• • • • •
Talking with the crow is an annoying affair as expected. At least now, Yuu is finally an official learner of the school. Even if they're just half-a-student with the loud talking cat. (That kinda reminds you of Mammon, now that you think of it. Also very funny because the cat's name is grim of all things..)
Oh, and you're a prefect now. You're definitely going to make that everyone's problem. Hehehehehe~
"So the abandoned dorm we were supposed to live in is fixed now? How? Hasn't it only been like– a day?"
You ominously beamed at the question, releasing a sinister little giggle that caused Ace, Deuce, and the now wide-awake Grim to subconsciously shiver while Yuu refrained from asking further questions and just wisely snickered instead.
Unseen by everyone, you sent a quick devious little smile to a wall where a certain electrical device was mounted, biting down a snort when you saw the security camera suddenly snap into another direction, as if it was a person embarrassed that they got caught by someone they were staring at.
You then had to hold back a cackle as you remembered how easily this newly made stalker friend of yours snitched on the headmaster, like– you literally didn't even do anything, the flustered boy just gave you the blackmail material that you needed. Well, maybe you did corner him a little bit by using his own electronics against him but you're pretty sure he enjoyed it for some reason if the way he literally blurted out 'mommy-' at you was anything to go by—
Haha, the benefits of having a hacker as a fren :3
• • • •
Kicking away the two idiots and telling them to go back to their dorms already, you dragged Yuu inside the now newly fixed dorm.
The two of you needed to talk about a few things and arrangements..
• • • •
Quickly opening the door in hopes that the fucker that was banging on it gets mash-dabbed face-first, you saw nothing but disappointment as the bastard — Ace — had actually moved away from the door in an impressive display of intuition and spidey-sense before you had even wretched the door open.
"What the fuck do you want, you ugly punyeta?"
It hasn't even been a few hours since this mf parted ways with you and Yuu, so what could be the problem now?
. .. . . . . ..
"No, you're sleeping on the couch."
"What?! But why?!! There are perfectly good rooms here!"
"All the other rooms besides the one we're using are still unfurnished. The beds in them are yet to be assembled and the floors are dusty because of the quick renovations." Yuu stated, rubbing the bridge of their nose.
"Ughhhhh! Just let me squeeze in, I promise I won't take up too much space!"
"Nice try but no."
"Tch, You're all so stingy and inhospitable.."
"Yuu, Do you hear that?" You said, theatrically cupping your ear with a hand.
"Yes, It seems that a forever virgin is talking." Yuu answered with a smirk.
"Hey!"
"Sorry, you oompa-loompa lookin ass— we unfortunately can't understand the language of people who can't pull."
"You guys are the worst."
"Thanks bbg." you and Yuu paused.
"Pft–"
"Oh dear~ It seems you're starting to take after me."
"Indeed it seems." Yuu replied, even subconsciously copying the fancy accent you used.
"Oh no, you're multiplying. :0"
"Haha, we're still dragging you to apologize to your Housewarden later."
"Aww shucks.."
← Pr.7 | Chapter List | Chp. 1.2 →
Thanks for reading this far, my amazing readers ＼(^o^)／
Pls don't forget to reblog and like, it really helps me so much <3
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Tumblr is fuckin with me again.
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The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.
[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]
CHP 1.2 : Deck of Cards.
CW: Cursing... Idk what else.
Um what the actual f.... WHY IS THIS HERE THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS?!?!
If the tone of this chapter is kinda different from the usual, I read a fanfic that made it that way. (I tend to subconsciously copy the tone and humor of the last fics I consumed, sorry.)
Thanks for all the reblogs, comments, and likes on these past chapters of mine, guys. They mean a lot to me and I'm so thankful for you all for them <3
Wretching open your front door for the second time, you hear the tell-tale signs of someone being smacked-dabbed in the face by the glorified piece of wood as you relish in the very satisfying groans of pain from your victim. (Sorry, It's your Lucifer–kinnie rearing its head.)
"Eh– Deuce? What the hell are you doing here??"
You asked, mildly concerned because Deuce has been nothing but nice to you and Yuu, unlike Ace the fuckin prick.
You don't even bother to ask if he was okay, you have eyes. So instead, you removed his hands that were covering his face and started to massage the area that the door hit, mumbling apologies.
Thankfully his nose didn't become crooked or bleed. That would've been unfortunate.
Deuce, bless his kind soul; Returned your apologies with his own for bothering you and your current housemates so early in the morning.
Haiyah, Ace should take notes, because this is how you're gonna be able to pull maidens and keep them.
• • • • • (Help my phone is lagging)
(So um, this was supposed to be longer but I don't why it suddenly uploaded itself and idk how to un upload it without deleting it)
You 'peacefully' smiled at Ace's annoyance as grim rightfully taunts him about his big-ass collar.
You and your gaggle of disappointments (except Yuu and Deuce) are on y'all's way to the mirror chamber right now so that the douchebag Ace can shove his big-ass ego down his own throat and actually apologize to his poor house warden.
Hmm.... Side note; you're feeling kinda extra petty today... You might just blackmail Crowley later again... Y'know.. just for the funsies... And also for some pocket money because y'all are broke.
*Que Yuu trying to hold back Ace from punting Grim across campus like a screeching football*
As you reach the mirror chamber you hum lightly, gesturing to Yuu to quickly straighten up their posture, patting off the non-existent dust and fixing small wrinkles in their clothes along the way.
Yesterday... The two of you had talked to each other in the privacy of your newly renovated 'dorm' before Ace showed up, discussing boundaries with each other and laying down ground rules, obligations that the two of you expect from each other. Grim just said whatever and tried to binge on your hard-earned canned foods. Safe to say, he almost became one himself.
Coming to compromises and both having an agreement to do whatever they can to support the other and vowing to tell necessary truths to each other as the two of you can only rely on eachother for now due to being entire worlds away from where you both came from.
You share a brief summary of your story (ommitting some... parts that aren't needed to be known) and Yuu shares their own, with you coming to the conclusion that you two do share the same world.
Events just line up too well to be said otherwise.
Though you actually confirmed this when Yuu talked about seeing a certain event on the news that you and the brothers ft. Diavolo and Barbs definitely didn't cause... yeah, DEFINITELY.
Should something important or big happen and the other isn't unavailable (i.e. dead or MIA), you two won't just make your own decisions without consulting or at least informing the other first.
You've... made a firm promise to yourself last night. To allow Yuu to thrive and form a foothold in this society with you as an unofficial apprentice/co-conspirator.
In a world of uncertainty, where a single wrong move can unknowingly compromise your safety, one will always come to desire some kind of power and control over their surroundings.... the people surrounding you, someone... anyone. And you're no different.
The need for a subconscious reassurance that even if everything is unfamiliar and potentially dangerous, you have power over someone else. That you're better than someone else. That should something happen, you won't be the first to be cut out or thrown into danger because you have more value than others will always be present in the back of your mind.
Of course you do know how to control yourself and your emotions, but the sins that the brothers embody kinda tend to emerge from inside you every once in a while.
...Though, maybe the reason you bonded so specifically well with your demons is that you actually have an intrinsic desire for power above all else. Not the kind of power where you're ruling over a kingdom or things like that but something else entirely.
Or, the evil inside just you began to slowly amplify the more time you spend with demons and that's why you're like this..
Either way, over the years, you've started to notice yourself becoming more... mature? in a sense?... your outlook in life slowly becoming more focused on how you can better yourself to ensure that your lovers didn't make a mistake in choosing to love you.
(You don't need to prove yourself to us, MC...)
The pride you've developed through your experiences and your constant connection with high profile individuals that drives you to constantly compare and contrast yourself to others reassure your deepest subconscious that you're still good enough, to reign in the insecurities brought in by how goddamn amazing your partners are.
Your greed to have more, to be more amazing than you already are, to leave behind other people in the dust of your brilliance.
Fearful envy for those people that aren't your friends who are smarter than you, more beautiful than you, more charismatic than you. Or the fear when you see someone making more progress than you. Afraid that they'll sooner be better than you and replace you somehow in the hearts of your lovers. (You still don't know where that fear came from though... Maybe from your other selves experiencing it? *cough* replaced au's *cough*)
Wrath when the desire to ruin whoever is overshadowing you starts to creep up from the dark crevices of your mind and begins to ensnare you.
Lust for more beauty, more elegance, to shine more brightly, to have more power and control over your own life.
Gluttony as you continue to desire more and more without feeling contentment.
And sloth because... you're just becoming too tired of the heavy duties and expectations thrust upon you by everyone around you intentionally or not... These past months, years wearing down on your fragile human soul.
You can't just do whatever you like anymore.. Your close relationship with the Brothers, Diavolo, Barbatos, Mephisto, as well as the angels, Thirteen, and Solomon caused the public consciousness to keep a heavy watch over you, the human that these very important individuals treasure very much.
Try as they might, your babes can't completely shield and protect you from the jealousy-filled rage of the toxic side of their own "fanbases". Not to mention those meddling mfs with even a small smidgen of power within the three realms keeps scrambling to mind your business as if it would somehow make themselves more important.
Of course, your significant others do their damn hardest to protect you from the public's scrutiny, that's for sure. (With Barbatos teaching you high-end etiquette to make sure you carry yourself with elegance to lessen things that could be used against you.) But.. it's unfortunately not enough.
Because you do often go outside to touch grass while still being quite active on the internet, whispers and gossips about you will inevitably reach your ears.
Whether it's you walking in RAD's halls and hearing hoes bad-mouthing you for your close relationships, your "unbecoming" attitude and "unflattering" qualifications, or you scrolling on the internet and seeing threads dissing you and calling you greedy for "taking all the good ones" with your "luke-warm" qualities.
Of course, you forwarded those threads and recounted those events to at least one of your significant others in the guise of light-hearted laughing about some trolls, knowing full well the exact consequences that you snitching on them will bring onto those poor unfortunate jealous gossipers. (Is it really snitching if they were the ones with the audacity to badmouth you? )
You can't find it in yourself to care though. Shouldn't have tried to intentionally talk behind your back WITHIN HEARING DISTANCE.
Fuck around and find out, as they say.
Just because they're jealous doesn't mean its your fault that all of the people you've managed to somehow seduce all happened to be extremely ethereal, intelligent, and are fuckin rich. YES. Even Mammon, contrary to what an ordinary person would expect from someone who's always out gambling or wasting money. (It's one of the mysteries of the universe, actually... How that guy can amass an impressive amount of wealth in a short amount of time whenever he gets really serious.)
So if they thought they can bully you into somehow, someway causing a rift into your relationships then they're dead wrong.
They're gonna be riggin their last mortis before you can even start to form any semblance of fucks to give to them.
Your inner thoughts really just kinda tend to go against you sometimes, but who doesn't have that problem?
{Th3 p\∆ñ $UcCe3d€D m∆d@M. tH4T... p3r$°n wi|| nö /OnG3r bE @ h!nDr4n©3 tO ¥°uR ₱/4nS..}
• • • • •
You snap back out of your trance as your body fluidly weaves to the side, jolting your mind awake as you dodge something small that was flying towards you.
'Oh.. It was just a small splatter of paint... Dang, I really need to chill.'
[Did... Did whatever that liquid thing was, just... burnt through the sidewalk right now...?
You subconsciously thought as you feel yourself being pulled into someone's —this scent.. Mammon?— chest, arms simultaneously hugging you and shielding you from any further potential harm.
...Why? Why can you never get away from these things..? Why do you never know peace??
WhywhywhywhywhywHyWhYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYHWYHWYHWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHWYHYWHYWHYWHHWHYWHYWHYHWYHWYHWYHWY—?!?!?
. . .
Is it such a crime to want a peaceful life with those you love...?]
Hm... another ginger.. And with a healthy amount of zestiness too?
"oOoH! I'd recognize you famous freshies anywhere!"
(Thanks for screeching to the entire universe that there's someone else here Grim, we would've thought we were just hearing voices if it weren't for your super keen observation.)
Now, you'd think Mr. Fruity over there had just casted a haste spell on himself with how fast he went from on top of a ladder painting roses, to suddenly being beside you and squishing you all into a group picture but no, the power of tea and likes is just that powerful I guess...
(You'd know all about that, seeing Asmo breaking sound barriers the moment he catches a whiff of any kind of gossip will never be less horrifying yet amusing.)
Somehow, someway, you and the gang ended up being enlisted to paint roses, after the upperclassman who's apparently named Cater uploaded your group photo and tagged you all.
(Yuu has a phone is this au because of the power of ✨Extortion✨ [Crowley's the one being extorted dw])
You shook your head to get rid of your momentary brain fog and sighed.
So there you are, standing still as you watch your ragtag gang try and fail at the task that was asked of them to do.
'These guys are quite incompetent with this painting the roses thing.' You thought as you watched Deuce turn roses blue, Grim setting fire to entire rose bushes, with Ace and Yuu splattering paint within a ten meter radius of themselves either intentionally or due to inexperience.
Cater meanwhile wants to urge for your help in painting the roses as well –losing hope for the other freshmen– but backing out because of your thousand-yard stare and patented resting bitch face.
• • • •
"Haaaa, this is getting ridiculous"
You deadpanned as Cater "escorted" you all out because Ace didn't have a replacement tart in the ready. (Ignoring Ace who was actually rightfully complaining this time, your group excluding you, had wasted time botching rose painting attempts when you could've left earlier or gone to the store if Cater had just told you all that a replacement tart was needed in the first place.)
You deadpanned even harder when the bell rang and they all started scrambling to get to class.
You feel like a disappointed mother right now.
Grabbing Yuu, you quickly teleported the two of you to a secluded corner near the entrance of your classroom, making sure that no one saw the two of you spawn out of nowhere.
Steadying Yuu as they stumbled from the sudden change in scenery, you quickly dragged them inside and seated them beside you in [chosen spot here] before texting a quick middle-finger emoji to y'all's newly made "Losing hope for humanity" group chat with the one braincell duo, grim, and your unofficial apprentice – Yuu
You're not that cruel though, you reserved seats for them beside Yuu so that they can hear you laugh at them when they finally arrived from their impromptu marathon and took their seats.
. . .
'I hate my life.'
You thought, as you and your... friends?walk to y'all's next class.
Honestly, you didn't want to attend these classes because you could've been doing something more productive (like drinking through Crowley's wine stash that you found) but you still want to know about the lessons the students of this oh-so-prestigious college are taking. Maybe you'll come across information that can be vital to your return home or something.
This continued on until Grim decided to try his luck with escaping the lessons, causing you to put your foot down because poor Yuu can get implicated if Grim isn't in class, making the feline choose between studying in peace or resting in peace.
(Sorry Catan, this feline is really pissing me tf off right now.)
• • • • • •
"Ugh, really can't believe you left us like that."
Ace whined, picking out food beside you, Deuce, and Yuu in the cafeteria.
"Again, not my fault Yuu was the only one I could grab back then. This is the fifth time already, Ace." You said, ignoring the teen's ugly huffing.
"You totally could've included us if you made the effort!!" Huffed out Grim as he DEFINITELY didn't pout at you.
"Says the one who tried to ditch their window cleaning punishment." Yuu piped in.
"Ugh, not you too, henchman!"
"Yeah, bold of you to say anything about effort when you have to be dragged to classes." Ace said with a shit-eating grin.
"I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYTHING FROM YOU, YOU UGL—!!"
You zone out the rest of their bickering, focussing instead into getting some [fav. food] because you're gonna punch someone if you let your hunger ferment any further.
But of course, the universe hates you. Nothing else could explain why you need to suffer seeing some high school bullies that are trying to boast of their "authority" as seniors by throwing a tantrum over a fuckin egg yolk.
You lament, quietly standing slightly behind Ace, Deuce, and Yuu as you watch Grim defend his chicken with all his kitty cat glory.
They're targeting the rest of you guys too... Haaaaah, you can't get a break with these people.
(Belphegor twitched, he's not quite feeling full-on Sloth but instead, some kind of fatigue? that starts to weigh down on him.
He rushes to Lucifer's office to report the vague feeling that he knows, originated from you.)
MmmM... Haaaaaah. You're too emotionally drained from all the convoluted unfamiliar lessons that were shoved into your face today to even muster the want for a confrontation right now.
You pinch the bridge of your nose, feeling a dull headache settling into the back of your head.
This needs to stop, lest these bumbling idiots in front of you piss you off even further. (One of them grabbed Deuce's collar you observed, yelling at him for saying something about not using magic while the other is getting closer to Yuu, being the one who took Grim into their arms.)
You open your mouth; "Can the both of you get the hell out of the way, your big-ass foreheads are taking up the entire cafeteria."
Your clear, nonchalant but loud voice rang out, causing some silence from those that heard you.
And like a charm, ignoring any bangs that may have covered it, the two accidents subconsciously covered their foreheads with a dumbfounded "huh?" caught off guard with your sudden insult.
Not even bothering to grace them with a reply, you snap your fingers, golden rope manifested around the legs of those pathetic seniors, quickly tightening to incapacitate them and shooting up to the ceiling to tie itself to the newly remade chandelier with those seniors hanging upside down from it.
That golden rope will prevent them from both trying to swing free and rocking the chandelier in any way, shape, or form, as a precaution to make sure that there won't be a repeat of the falling chandelier fiasco.
Ignoring the gawking of the entire cafeteria, you gesture to your group to hurry tf up and go to a table with you while you massage your temple.
'Hahhhh, I can feel myself aging.' You thought.
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Thanks for reading! I know I dipped for a couple of months, sorry bout that. Just know that school sucked.
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(Lawd help me)
Crying because this is so beautiful 💖
Hi! I'm thirsty for a slice of the demon butler, so I like to ask for a fluffy barbatos x reader if that's ok!
Hi! Thank’s for the request! I hope this was okay for you, I included a little drabble at the end! :) Here’s the song I mentioned in it, in case you want to listen! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP0tHmoc1rs (It’s been a long long time- Harry James)
• So Barbatos is usually kept pretty busy, but on his days off boy knows how to treat you! He’ll usually suggest you just stay in and watch a crappy rerun of some soap opera and criticise the characters life choices, and eventually order take away. He cooks most other days, whether for you or for Diavolo, so it’s nice to just spend time with you without having to put on the front of the loyal butler.
• That being said, he will 10/10 enjoy baking with you- especially if you have any prior experience. He likes sharing his hobbies with you, and appreciates it a lot when you do the same. He thinks that open communication is really important in a relationship! That’s why he always asks you what seems like off topic questions “MC, what’s your favourite show/book/movie etc?”. Ask him, or better yet, remember that obscure indie horror movie he likes and he will be head over heels
• He loves it when you guys can just cuddle up and share each others company. I lowkey think he’d be the type to like big band swing music, and he’d definitely just like to sit with you sipping some wine, spilling the tea or just talking about how your collective day went
• If you need comfort he’s an A+ listener and will give you advice if he thinks you want it, but if you just want to vent he’s happy to just sit and listen to all your woes while he rubs small circles on your back, or presses small kisses to your cheek.
• He may not be huge on PDA in front of others (he does have quite the reputation to uphold), he still like to have a hand on you at all times, whether it be on the small of your back, or lightly grazing your shoulder. It’s not necessarily a possessive thing, more that he wants you to know that he’s still there with you and he’s protecting you.
• Boi really is soft for you, Diavolo likes to tease him about it (especially in front of you), he just finds it nice that the stoic demon now seems to have a much softer and gentler side to him. If he ever has a stressful day, or starts to get fed up with something, he usually doesn’t say much, until you two are cuddled on the couch and then he’ll just go off on one. It’s usually very calm, but he’s still clearly upset. Pet his hair, or let him play with your fingers and he’ll eventually sigh and just snuggle into your shoulder, not mentioning until the morning when he’ll make a joke about it.
The crooning voice of Kitty Kallen wafts through the air as you Barbatos slowly circle the room, half slow dancing, half just hugging. You’d had a hard day at RAD and were feeling a little overwhelmed at the enormity of the workload thrust on you, as well as your unspoken job of keeping all the brothers in check. But every time the music flared a little, and you felt his chest rise an fall you felt a little better, eventually dropping your shoulders completely and leaning your head against his chest.
Softly, he places a kiss to your head as the band blares in the background, the smell of the little vanilla candles you had gotten him on a majolish trip with Asmo grow stronger as the pair of you move closer to that side of the room. You sigh, content as he places a reassuring hand on your back, humming along quietly.
Shy as ever, you gently raise your head, and he looks down at you for a second, questioning with his eyes if you need something. You smile and lean up to kiss him gently, chest tightening when he places a hand on your cheek, deepening the kiss. You part, and smile at each other.
The Parcel | Barbatos x MC
_________________________________________
*this conversation would occur via text*
MC: Barbatos~! Did you get anything in the mail today?
Barbatos: Ah, MC. No, not that I'm aware of. I'll go check the mailbox immediately.
MC: Hehehe
Barbatos: A parcel addressed to me? This is the first package I've received in quite some time.
MC: That's sorta sad- ANYWAYS, OPEN IT UP ÒwÓ
Barbatos: A monocle?
MC: Yep! That's it!
Barbatos: That's so sweet of you. Thank you, MC.
MC: I made it myself, I hope you like it!
Barbatos: Yes, I love it.
MC: No you don't.
Barbatos: ?
MC: I may be an idiot but I'm not stupid, I can tell when you're faking something. You're taking longer to type.
...
MC: Now you're not even typing!
Barbatos:
Barbatos: I love it.
MC: T////T
MC: The filter makes you look cuter.
MC: WAIT HOW DID YOU TAKE THE PICTURE IF I CAN SEE BOTH OF YOUR HANDS
Barbatos: I'm a demon MC, I do have a tail.
MC: Then why can't I see it???
Barbatos: Maybe you are stupid.
MC: ???????
~ Fin
