No Pants - Tumblr Posts
DnD dudes
Hhhhh!!! The sketch was adorable but THIS THIS IS GOD LIKE!!!! <3333 @crystaljaybay I need a break like idk how am i alive *faints*
Imma reblog this nvn
Hhhhh!!! The sketch was adorable but THIS THIS IS GOD LIKE!!!! <3333
@crystaljaybay
I need a break like idk how am i alive *faints*
Brad didn't like all this negativity. After five minutes of careful thinking Brad said "YES" to 'No Pants!' Chris praised him for taking a stand. It showed off his legs better than sitting.
Chris was miffed. People who think models are difficult proved once again they don’t know what difficult is. With a single yank, Chris demonstrated to the world exactly how to get Americans to stomach soccer. Who wouldn’t build a stadium for that?!?
Fine. Whatever. Brad could play skins. Chris would play shirts but GOOD LUCK with getting him to wear PANTS!!!
Bruh.
Brad and Chris’ 3rd runway show 2gether by far the most bizarre. Hecklers kept shouting “Bris” every time they hit the runway. As if.
They were two individual people who couldn’t tell eachother apart, thank u very much. Not some fancy shmancy side 4 a French combo meal.
Now what was up w/these tiny fly swatters? Perhaps they were meant for gnats.
Brad forgot to put on a shirt and pants. Brad did knot.
After a very intense twenty minute inspection with a record breaking 18 outcalls, Chris officially declared the beach a safe ‘no pants’ zone. You could definitely get service here.
Before the shift manager said anything, Brad sounded off.
First, the shirt was too small, the tie was practically a string, and there were holes in the underwear suggesting to Brad they might have a moth problem. To top it off, the lady at wardrobe didn't issue any pants! This was officially the worst first day with a catering company ever. Who exactly were they catering to anyway? Brad was prettty certain the city health inspector wouldn't be a fan of someone barely dressed running around a ballroom with a gigantic meat platter.
Brad would learn the term 'softcore' in a phone conversation with his new talent agent not five minutes later. It was at the end of that revealing chat where Brad remembered his boyfriend Chris warned him that it was a little weird to sign with anyone new at 3:12am on a Tuesday in the Hollywood Hills. The thought spurred itself sporadically when his agent mentioned his new pair of Gucci sunglasses were misplaced so he needed to cut things short to find go them. It was the only accessory that ever worked for him.
That was easy for Brad to relate to. He couldn't even find pants in the moment. Luckily this wasn't the worst personal crisis in his 22 year history. Brad rarely wore more than a thong as it was. On the other hand, It was very difficult for Brad to believe someone as generous and attentive as his new agent would take advantage of him. After all, it was the fresh representation who patiently waited 45 minutes at the party while Brad tried to figure out which Speedo to wear in the hot tub. If it wasn't for the suggestion to just ditch the swimmers all together, he'd probably still be there. His new agent was a hero.
The guy on the phone said Brad had a good point.
After ever so briefly thanking him for the validation, Brad mentioned it was funny he said that as his new agent said the same thing probably a dozen times while trying on swimmers. What was really surprising to Brad was that everyone in the hot tub agreed when he recounted the thoughtful episode. No one ever listened to him. It was one of the natural pitfalls of being both 22 and so damn attractive. Few took you seriously.
At that point, Brad was promptly asked to drop the pants, hang up the phone, and return to work.
And that everyone is how the Meat Platter softcore stripper series was born.
Tumblr safe plaits and small pants 😜 head over to our onlyfans to see the not so tumblr safe versions!
Meanwhile, on the side of the highway...
This was written for a friend on her 21st birthday, but was not presented to her as she most likely would have found it disturbing (particularly, after several margaritas).
Tomorrow as morning comes round
You'll find you're asleep on the ground.
With one fuzzy glance,
You'll note lack of pants,
And how piles of bodies abound.
