My Name Is Not Egg - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
Thinkin’ about when I came out to my best friend (at the time) who was (said* she was) a lesbian. I then told her about my current partner (who I wasn’t yet with) and how he was my favorite person currently living. She then told me how she was into me (thelileggBOY) and how she could see a future with me. So like a month later I started dating my partner and she started dating the literal scum of the earth (but that’s a different story)
That feeling when someone you HATE says something totally understandable and reasonable, but you are still filled with an insane amount of rage because you know that person and you know the tone they were using to type the message out in and you know they just wanna see your downfall because they finally realized that you’re better than them and they also scolded you for the lighting of a picture you did not in fact take (???????); so now you’re just sitting and stewing in your rage because what are you supposed to do??????? Miss girlypop scolded you in front of multiple people for the billionth time
I’d like to personally thank the multiverse for being so nice today. I was cordial with that one chick I HATE for a whole week while we were living in close proximity and you know what the multiverse did?? DO YOU EVEN KNOW?? She literally just like fixed a crisis I was having. Miss when you and your favorite were super close? Be nice to the miscreants who have wronged you and your merry crew. Be so not terrible that she thinks you might be chill with her (but never be chill with her because liars are often unforgivable)
I love when I think of she/her pronouns as being childish. Like sorry not everyone graduated into they/he
You guys know like everything I post here is sarcastic and/or dramatic, right? RIGHT??
That indescribable, gut wrenching feeling you get when you remember people genuinely like you and want to be around you
Thinking about when I was the big bad wolf in a Little Red Riding Hood themed marching band show and the girl playing little red had the prettiest solo and then I, a 5’2” 110 lbs, little boy just like show up, foaming at the mouth, sprinting after her.
Anyway, we won awards for that and people thought the flip I did was cool
Seven-year-old me crying real tears because I truly thought I was gonna accidentally cut an atom in half atom and kill everyone on the east coast while I’m just trying to cut strawberries
Thinkin’ about that time a straight guy told me not to hit on him and then got offended when I said he wasn’t my type
Sorry, Josh; I have a boyfriend who isn’t the embodiment of 2009
I’ve decided to name my lil’ psychic dreams all, “Bigmouth,” just so I can make one REALLY stupid joke when wherever I dreamt happens and annoy my boyfriend
Something I really appreciate about The Smiths is that you can hear Morrissey descending into madness in real time. Like he sounds almost sane in The Smiths (the purple one), but bro’s GONE by The Queen is Dead (the green one)
I got to college a early (accidentally) and so I’ve been sitting in my car and eating dried pineapple for the past half hour if you even care
Call me Don Quixote, but this windmill looks so scary and I need to kill it
Me confidently walking into a building with a travel mug of pink lemonade and a bag of Halloween cereal (it’s for my wife)
Help?? A dude in my college lab is talking about Kermit the Frog speaking to him from his basement?? I don’t live in Kentucky, so I don’t think this is the genuine Crocker, but maybe he is part of the Brotherhood?? WASN’T THE PROXY BURNED??
LOOK AT WHAT I MADE
He is janky and weird and I didn’t wait for any of the layers to dry, but I love him so much and his name is Melancholy Marius and he likes lookin’ at fish