Michael Kelso - Tumblr Posts

*part 1 here*

Hyde, still drunk: Why is he even here?

Jackie's boyfriend: You got a problem with me, man?

Jackie: Oh God...

Hyde, slurring: Yes, I do. I should be getting back together with my chick, but you're ruining my plans, dumbass.

Jackie, muttering to herself: What did I do to deserve this? I just wanted to have dinner.

Jackie's boyfriend: You're so full of shit.

Jackie: I knew I should've ordered a pizza. [looks at her friends and the Formans] You're just gonna sit there and watch?

Fez: It is more entertaining this way.

*now Hyde and Jackie's boyfriend are fighting*

Jackie's boyfriend: Ow, my eye!

Kelso: Hey, that's my line, man!

Hyde, after getting punched in the face: I'm too drunk for this.

Jackie: GET OFF MY BOYFRIEND!

Everybody:

Eric: Just to be clear, which one are you referring to?

Kelso: I have nothing to do with this.

Jackie: Uh... the one that's actually my boyfriend? [grabs the bottle of tequila and leaves the room] Excuse me, I need a drink.

Donna: Man, I missed all this drama!

*watching Eternals at the movies*

Eric: Sometimes, I wish I was a giraffe too.

Donna: I love women.

Kelso: Of course he's the bad guy, villains are always the hottest.

Fez: YOU SONUVABITCH!

Hyde: Flying into the sun to avoid therapy? Yeah, I can relate.

Jackie: It's the way he said 'my beautiful, beautiful Makkari', it's giving me 'the best couple' vibes.

Hyde, passing the phone to Kelso: Jackie is on the phone.

Kelso: Man, I forgot all about Jackie... hey Hyde, if you had to decide between going on a date with a girl that you really care about and going to the Playboy Mansion, which would it be?

Hyde: The fact that you're even asking tells me that you really care about her.

Kelso: Well, I guess I do.

Hyde: But, tell me, does Jackie have a terminal disease?

Kelso: No, Hyde, of course not.

Hyde: Well, then... she'll still be here tomorrow.

Kelso, before darting out of the basement: Alright!

[...]

Hyde, on the phone with Jackie: So... I couldn't find Kelso, but I can take you...

Jackie: I'll see you later then, Steven. Thank you! [hungs up]

Hyde, smirking: I'd choose going on a date with the girl I care about, dumbass.

The basement gang playing family feud:

"Name something your lover might have the key to?"

Eric: My car.

Donna: My house.

Fez: My safe where I keep my candy.

Kelso: My firecracker collection.

Jackie: My heart.

Hyde: Handcuffs.

Kelso: Admit it, you like my girlfriend!

Hyde: Oh, come on! I mean, am I attracted to her?

Hyde: Sure.

Hyde: Do my days feel better when I'm around her?

Hyde: Yeah.

Hyde: Does she get me in ways no woman ever has?

Hyde: Undoubtedly.

Hyde: Do I fantasize about her?

Hyde: Yes, but only in a few positions.

Hyde: Look, am I the kind of guy who would try to steal someone else's girlfriend?

Hyde: Sure, of course.

Hyde: But do I like her?

Hyde: The answer's no. You have nothing to worry about.

Jackie: Steven, you have to apologize to Michael.

Hyde, huffs: Fine.

Hyde, to Kelso: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

I haven't been able to read as much fanfics as I'd like, but here are some of my guilty pleasure t7s tropes:

when jackie moves on

now, this one might not be everyone's favorite but it's mine and I'm totally chill about it. seriously, I'm a hard-core zennie, but I love post s8 stories where jackie moves on with someone else (especially when jh aren't endgame). even though there are great post s8 fics where they get back together that I love, reading a story where she finds someone and is genuinely happy is so satisfying to me as a jackie stan. that includes those stories where she makes new friends as well.

time travel aus

this one works for any fandom basically, but I love those scenarios where hyde or jackie have a chance to go back in time to fix their mistakes. although there are very few of those (somebody please write some more) my fav is one where jackie was dead and hyde couldn't stop hugging her when he got back in time.

jackie leaves point place

I know, 8 out of 10 during or post s8 follow the same background. but damn it, I love it.

fake dating!jeric

I have to admit that I have a soft spot for jeric. but fake dating jeric trying to get under donna and hyde's skin? IT'S FUCKING EVERYTHING! I just love it.

I also wanted to include some tropes that I don't like (or that I used to like but don't anymore):

hyde deserves forgiveness, donna doesn't

"I expected from him, not from you."

"hyde was hurt, but donna was just being a backstabbing bitch."

I don't care, I hate it. don't get me wrong, I'm far from being donna's biggest fan. but if she's getting backlash, he should get twice as much.

donna might have befriended sam, but hyde married her. donna might have been a bad friend to jackie, but the way hyde mistreated her was cruel.

as soon as I finished the show, I read tons of stories that villanized donna and I enjoyed them because they fulfilled my own issues with her actions (especially post-California). but, as I got more involved with the fandom, I realized that I was doing to donna the same thing the writers did to jackie. villanizing a girl for being and acting like a teenager.

while the producers demonized jackie for being a girly teen (like most late 90s/early 2000s productions), I did the same to donna for acting like a teenager. she fucked up, like every 17 year old would.

I hate it when the story makes it seem like hyde's actions are forgivable, but donna's aren't. if you want to go down that road remember it goes both ways. it's giving me misogyny.

jackie has an abusive boyfriend

now, writing abusive relationships can make an interesting story, as long as it's done properly. it can even help some readers deal with real life situations.

now, if a writer gives jackie a clearly abusive, not subtle at all boyfriend just to make hyde's actions pale in comparison, I'm not reading it.

it's literally like, "oh, he married another woman and humiliated jackie, but at least he didn't hit her."

acting like the gang and jackie's age gap is much bigger than it actually is

unless it's an au where they are much more older than her, it won't work.

I know a lot of this is because mila is 6-8 years younger than the rest of the cast. but some stories will portray jackie as young, dumb and immature, and yet will make other characters act like full grown, mature adults, even though they're teens.

she's just one year younger, like????

passive!jackie and possessive!hyde

jealousy is a valid emotion and, when written in a healthy and responsible way, can be part of a good story. but when it comes to possessiveness I'm not getting into it. I used to like possessive!hyde, until I didn't. just not my vibe anymore.

and jackie is not a passive person. that's simply out of character in my perception. like, he's gonna act like the asshole he can be and she's just gonna sit there and take his crap? oh, hell no. it's not giving.

thanks for the tag @that-basket-case hun! 🥰 I missed interacting here 💖

So last week, I read all of

TheQueensBrokenHeart works

and I really, thoroughly enjoyed all of them. I cannot recommend enough that you go and read their stories, they're all very amazing.

From my reading, I discovered a new guilty pleasure trope centered around T7S, specifically the fanfictionverse. This made me wonder, what are some of yours guilty pleasure trope from T7S stories? Actually you can mention other fandoms to, I don't mind, just clarify it so I won't get confused though lol.

For me,

That 70s Show Fanfictionverse Guilty Pleasure Tropes:

Demonized Kelso/Villainous Kelso/ Irredeemable Kelso/ Totured or Punished Kelso/ any arc where Kelso's inappropriate behaviour is NOT being enabled or accepted as him "just being Kelso". [As you can probably tell, Kelso is my least favourite character mainly because of his entitlement behaviour and lack of growth apart from season 6. The showrunners would never give him growth which is sad, he could've been a better man if they've just didn't given up on him in season 7.]

Long-distanced/Non-existent relationship between Hyde and Red+Kitty, especially with Kitty. [Mainly because I think Kitty enabled a lot of Hyde's questionable behaviour in season 7 and other seasons here and there. I know it's the writings fault but I digress]

Dead Jack and/or Pam Burkhart.

Same as number one, but with Pam Burkhart and slightly tamer undertone with Jack Burkhart. [3 & 4 seems self-explanatory but I can further explain if anyone's interested]

There's probably more but I can't seem think of all of them now, maybe I'll update once it comes back to me. Tagging

@crimsinsky @thestupidhelmet @einsteinsugly @springsteenicious @queenbookbuff @zeppelin-and-unicorns @glittermila @snookstheallmighty @scaponigifs @mydearburkhart @kim1918 @that70sshowgoldencouple

and anyone who's interested. The more the merrier! 😁

How the T7S characters would react to a hate comment:

Eric: You remind me of my father.

Donna: Fuck you, dillhole!

Kelso: BURN! They're burning me, but still a good burn.

Fez, on the verge of tears: I will not dignify that with a response, because I can't think of one. But when I do, a good day to you!

Jackie: Love me, hate me. Say what you want about me. As longs as you're talking about me, it means I rented an apartment on your mind.

Hyde: *wouldn't answer because he doesn't care*

*s8*

Jackie: What are you talking about? I don't understand.

Kelso: I wanna marry you.

Jackie: Why?

Kelso: Because I love you and I want you to spend the rest of my life with me.

Jackie:

Fez: Jackie! Jackie, say something.

Jackie: Thanks, Kelso.

Fez: 'Thanks, Kelso'? He's asking you to marry him, woman!

Jackie: Calm down, Fez!

do you guys think brooke regretted letting kelso choose jackie and hyde as betsy's godparents after season 8?

*at the basement, after California*

Kelso: Jackiecita, hermosita, mamacita...

Jackie: You can save your español de mierda for California.

Kelso: Is that a burn? Oh, well, you can burn me. I deserve it.

Jackie: Oh, no, Michael. I'm here because Steven and I are going on a date.

Kelso: What are you talking about? You can't date Hyde!

Jackie, amused: Oh, and who's gonna stop me?

Kelso: I will! Jackie, baby, you don't like Hyde.

Jackie: You're wrong, Michael. You know, we have such a beautiful connection.

Kelso: Oh, so you're Hyde's girlfriend now? And there's nothing I can do about it?

Jackie: Of course there is! You can slice your throat open, you can throw yourself off a bridge, you can drink poison. These are some of the things you can do about it.

*phone call*

Kelso: Well, damn Jackie!

Jackie: You know what, Michael? We're gonna have to finish this conversation later, your competition is knocking on my door.

Kelso: Fine... wait, who?

*Jackie hangs up the phone*

Jackie, opens the door: You're late.

Hyde: Missed me, doll?

why did he stop doing this again?

kelso’s offended gasp is everything to me

Eric: Ooh, we're like a big happy family!

Eric: And I'm the dad, and Donna is the mom...

Donna: Why am I the mom? What gender roles are we pushing here?

Fez: I know you're probably thinking I'm like the son, but I'm not... I'll be the gay emo cousin.

Kelso: I will be the son, the hot shot whose only dream is to be a star.

Hyde: I feel like I'd be a... fresh outta jail uncle.

Jackie: And I'm the sassy aunt... who talks shit about everyone.

Ooooo who is “Open Relationships” going to be about?

"Open Relationships" is actually called "Open Relationships (or Hyde's masterplan to finally get the girl)", sooo you can imagine 😆

It's set on season 4, after Jackie and Kelso get back together, and it follows the consequences of Kelso opening their relationship. It's kinda inspired by those open relationships reddit stories/videos on tiktok. It's one of my favorites.

thanks for asking ❤️

Kelso: Jackie is not answering my calls. She's ignoring me.

Hyde: Allow me.

Kelso: Hyde, I called her seven times, what makes you think-

Jackie's voice on Hyde’s phone: Hey babe...

"after hours" is out now on ao3!

english / portuguese

Jackie: You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.

Kelso: I went out with you.

Jackie: That's because my standards are too low.

*after their first date*

Kelso: So, I think we should just be friends...

Jackie, sighing out of relief: Thank God you said it first, I didn't wanna hurt your feelings.

Kelso:

Jackie: Can you give me Hyde's number?

ok but can we all agree that the theme song for season one will remain superior no matter what?