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Love in the time of Uncertainty (Loki x Female Reader)

Chapter 1

Note : (Read the synopsis here)

Summary : Chronic abdominal pain brings you to the doctor loki laufeyson himself.

Taglist : @lokiswildheartcantbebroken

"Order for table 10, it's one of your regulars who tips you really well so be nice" your manager said to you and you rolled your eyes, you had an intense pain in your belly again and you felt nauseous, it happened now n then but you could never find a valid reason for it. Google searching your symptoms can only give you limited information, you can't afford to go see a doctor or go to the hospital, your insurance won't cover it because hey you don't have one. What is your life. You took the tray and walked towards the table, it's Misha, one of your regulars, she's really kind to you and tips very generously, she will be a doctor soon so her life is set.

"Hi Misha how are you today, here's your favourite caesar salad" you smile. She's one of the customers that you actually really like, she have that carefree but kind vibe about her "thank you y/n, I have had the worst day today, my new boss can be a dick sometimes" she complained and you scrunched your face "that bad huh? Well atleast you're learning something right?" You ask her and she shook her head "Only reason why I would ever tolerate an asshole like him" she chuckled and you grabbed your belly as you felt the pain again "what's wrong ?" She asked you and you didn't really want to dwell on it but you told her as she asked again "Well you know what, I would check on that but that's really not my speciality, however you can come see my boss Loki " she told you as she took the first bite of her salad

"Misha I'm grateful for the offer but I really can't afford it, also what kind of name is loki?" You chuckled and she giggled at that "I know right, you haven't heard the last name yet, laufeyson, apparently his grandfather was really into norse mythology so he named his son laufey and it continued from there" she told you and you shook your head "Norse legends? So weird"

"But hey don't worry about the money, I'll get it done pro bono, just come and get it checked" she assured and after careful consideration you agreed, only a fool would deny a free service like that, plus you were in intense pain. So, that's how you ended up in the clinic of loki laufeyson "You can't just bring charity cases here Misha, this is the second time you have done this" you heard very faint yelling and back n forth between him and Misha coming from the consultation room and you wanted to leave or run but you didn't want to offend her, she was doing you a favor, a big one. He is british and apparently an asshole. Soon after that he came out of his office and passed by you, his eyes met yours and you felt your face heating up at that. You had no idea why when you heard Misha talking about him you expected a middle aged stubby looking man, he was anything but that.

He was atleast 6'3, had neither short nor long, just in between raven dark black hair, green eyes, and a fit lean frame, in short he was very attractive, he looked like he was the Adonis himself. He pased by you and went straight to his office on the other side. Misha came out soon after and she took you to get changed, since you had abdominal pain, she wanted you to change into a hospital gown type of thing "He'll be here soon"

"Misha all this time when you complained about him, you forgot to mention how gorgeous he is?" You gave her a look and she laughed "Ewww gross, I love my ladies, so I never really noticed" she told you and you shook your head "Good looking or not, he's a major grump so, but don't worry he's nice with patients"

She left and soon after loki came in and greeted you "Hello Y/N Y/L/N, I'm loki, how are you feeling today?" He kept his eyes on the clipboard as he talked, his voice so deep and rich when you could hear him clearly "I'm good today but sometimes I get this very sharp pain in here" you gestured towards your lower belly and he looked at you. He's the most gorgeous looking man you have ever laid eyes on without a doubt and you live in LA "Can you lie down, I'm gonna have to check something" he asked you to lie down on the examination table and you did, you were extremely nervous, he was putting his gloves on and you looked at him, he was effortlessly attractive, could be one of the reasons why he had so many patients, no no absolutely not, nope don't objectify him. He worked hard to become a doctor.

"Thank you for doing this for free, I really appreciate this" you told him, you really were thankful that Misha was able to get you an appointment "Thank Misha for that, not me, it was supposed to be an off day for me" you felt awful when he said that, he must be so annoyed by this "Anyways, I'm going to press several points in your abdomen, if it hurts when I pinch let me know instantly" he told you and you just nodded in response, you felt his gloved fingers, as he pressed on the side of your belly but you felt nothing other than the mild discomfort but when he pressed two inches below your belly button towards the right side, you winced and he stopped "it hurts here?" He asked as he did it again, you nod. Your brain didn't miss how close his hands were to your intimate part.

"Come sit" he took his gloves off as he walked away and sat down on his chair. You stepped down from the chair and he wrote something on the clipboard again "Ever had a surgery?" He asked you "Appendicitis, 2 years ago" you told him and he sighed "Okay I'm writing a MRI, get it done and come back to me" he told you and you sighed, how can you afford a mri if you cannot even afford to see a doctor? "I can't afford it but thank you so much for seeing me" you told him and he finally looked at you, his eyes boaring into your soul as he did "I wasn't done yet, get it done asap, go to the Maxwell hospital and give them this, they'll do it at no cost, in the meantime I'm also writing some pills, if you feel the pain again, just take one " he gave you a note and you took it from him "I don't think that's appropriate, I don't even know you, I'll feel burdened" you passed him the note back and he looked at you.

"Just keep it, when your pain will become less bearable than your fragile ego you would consider it" okay he was an asshole, there was no denying it, his gorgeous face can't make up for that attitude. "You are very rude mister , you know what I'll keep it and show you that I don't need your mercy on me" you stormed out of the consultation room but then realised that you were just in the hospital gown so you went back again awkwardly, the smirk on his face didn't help the situation. He stepped out to allow you to get changed and then you stormed out again.

You kept the note for some reason, and as he said it did become unbearable after a few days so you went to the hospital to get your mri done like a loser. Once you got the report you went back to his office. He had so many patients today, so you had to wait like an hour to see him. When you went inside he greeted you like nothing happened last time and you were thankful for that, maybe he's not so bad afterall. He told you that you had an infected scar tissue building inside and you need to get it removed soon. A surgery? You're still under loan debt from last time, so he told you he would do it pro bono again and this time you kept your words to yourself.

"Don't be nervous, I'm very skilled with my hands, and I have years of experience" he told you,you were on the surgery table waiting for this to get done as soon as possible. Years of experience like what 5 years ? You nod your head as he smiled at you and soon you felt the darkness sweeping you in, when you woke up next he was right by your bedside, he asked how you were feeling and you said something about being drowsy, you had to be in the hospital for a week and you were surprised as to how sweet he was with you, he tended to you whenever you needed, he took care of you , and fed you and he made sure you felt comfortable while you were there, and ofcourse he paid for all of this, you were drowning in his debt.

You didn't want to fall for him, but somehow you did, well it wasn't exactly hard, combine his looks with how he treated you while you healed made you see him in a different light, you could tell he was hiding something, that behind this rude mean persona, there was a softness in him wanting to jump out and you saw the glimpses of it while you were in the hospital or so you thought you did.

"Who's the last one? Theres nobody else on appointment list" you heard him asking Misha and she said you were there to see him. He called you in and you sat down but then stood up again, maybe this wasn't a good idea. "Something wrong again y/n?" He asked you and you shook your head nervously .

"No nothing is wrong ..I just" you breathe in and he tilted his head as he looked at you. "I was just wondering weather you would want to have dinner with me sometimes or a lunch or just" you stop talking as you see his jaw clenching and he stood up abruptly. "So I give you a free service and you think I did it because I'm interested in you?"

Your eyes tear up instantly as you heard him "no i just... "

"Just don't, don't make this worse please, get out of my office, I can't deal with this right now" If there was a hole in his office somewhere you would have jumped in it, never to be seen again by anyone. You didn't think he would reject you like this , and on the top of that he was throwing you out of his office. You picked up your bag and ran so fast, first time you decided to ask a guy out and he rejected you so cruely. You would never be able to show your face again to him or misha. When you ran out Misha was concerned and she tried to stop you but you didn't listen.

It was only after you were gone is when he picked up the coffee cup he kept on his table and smashed it on the ground, he was so frustrated, his eyes tearing up. He opened his drawer and took out a picture he always kept there, he ran his thumb over the face of the woman smiling so wide as she hugged him from the side. Both of them so happy, so in love, A tear escaped his eye, and he sniffed one last time before shoving the picture back into the drawer. He picked his jacket up and came out of his office, looking like his normal stoic self, Misha looked at him as he did.

"Get that mess cleaned up for me and I never want to see her again, am I clear?"

He left to his home, he can't do this all over again.

Love in the time of Uncertainty (Loki x Female Reader)

Chapter 1

Note : (Read the synopsis here)

Summary : Chronic abdominal pain brings you to the doctor loki laufeyson himself.

Taglist : @lokiswildheartcantbebroken

"Order for table 10, it's one of your regulars who tips you really well so be nice" your manager said to you and you rolled your eyes, you had an intense pain in your belly again and you felt nauseous, it happened now n then but you could never find a valid reason for it. Google searching your symptoms can only give you limited information, you can't afford to go see a doctor or go to the hospital, your insurance won't cover it because hey you don't have one. What is your life. You took the tray and walked towards the table, it's Misha, one of your regulars, she's really kind to you and tips very generously, she will be a doctor soon so her life is set.

"Hi Misha how are you today, here's your favourite caesar salad" you smile. She's one of the customers that you actually really like, she have that carefree but kind vibe about her "thank you y/n, I have had the worst day today, my new boss can be a dick sometimes" she complained and you scrunched your face "that bad huh? Well atleast you're learning something right?" You ask her and she shook her head "Only reason why I would ever tolerate an asshole like him" she chuckled and you grabbed your belly as you felt the pain again "what's wrong ?" She asked you and you didn't really want to dwell on it but you told her as she asked again "Well you know what, I would check on that but that's really not my speciality, however you can come see my boss Loki " she told you as she took the first bite of her salad

"Misha I'm grateful for the offer but I really can't afford it, also what kind of name is loki?" You chuckled and she giggled at that "I know right, you haven't heard the last name yet, laufeyson, apparently his grandfather was really into norse mythology so he named his son laufey and it continued from there" she told you and you shook your head "Norse legends? So weird"

"But hey don't worry about the money, I'll get it done pro bono, just come and get it checked" she assured and after careful consideration you agreed, only a fool would deny a free service like that, plus you were in intense pain. So, that's how you ended up in the clinic of loki laufeyson "You can't just bring charity cases here Misha, this is the second time you have done this" you heard very faint yelling and back n forth between him and Misha coming from the consultation room and you wanted to leave or run but you didn't want to offend her, she was doing you a favor, a big one. He is british and apparently an asshole. Soon after that he came out of his office and passed by you, his eyes met yours and you felt your face heating up at that. You had no idea why when you heard Misha talking about him you expected a middle aged stubby looking man, he was anything but that.

He was atleast 6'3, had neither short nor long, just in between raven dark black hair, green eyes, and a fit lean frame, in short he was very attractive, he looked like he was the Adonis himself. He pased by you and went straight to his office on the other side. Misha came out soon after and she took you to get changed, since you had abdominal pain, she wanted you to change into a hospital gown type of thing "He'll be here soon"

"Misha all this time when you complained about him, you forgot to mention how gorgeous he is?" You gave her a look and she laughed "Ewww gross, I love my ladies, so I never really noticed" she told you and you shook your head "Good looking or not, he's a major grump so, but don't worry he's nice with patients"

She left and soon after loki came in and greeted you "Hello Y/N Y/L/N, I'm loki, how are you feeling today?" He kept his eyes on the clipboard as he talked, his voice so deep and rich when you could hear him clearly "I'm good today but sometimes I get this very sharp pain in here" you gestured towards your lower belly and he looked at you. He's the most gorgeous looking man you have ever laid eyes on without a doubt and you live in LA "Can you lie down, I'm gonna have to check something" he asked you to lie down on the examination table and you did, you were extremely nervous, he was putting his gloves on and you looked at him, he was effortlessly attractive, could be one of the reasons why he had so many patients, no no absolutely not, nope don't objectify him. He worked hard to become a doctor.

"Thank you for doing this for free, I really appreciate this" you told him, you really were thankful that Misha was able to get you an appointment "Thank Misha for that, not me, it was supposed to be an off day for me" you felt awful when he said that, he must be so annoyed by this "Anyways, I'm going to press several points in your abdomen, if it hurts when I pinch let me know instantly" he told you and you just nodded in response, you felt his gloved fingers, as he pressed on the side of your belly but you felt nothing other than the mild discomfort but when he pressed two inches below your belly button towards the right side, you winced and he stopped "it hurts here?" He asked as he did it again, you nod. Your brain didn't miss how close his hands were to your intimate part.

"Come sit" he took his gloves off as he walked away and sat down on his chair. You stepped down from the chair and he wrote something on the clipboard again "Ever had a surgery?" He asked you "Appendicitis, 2 years ago" you told him and he sighed "Okay I'm writing a MRI, get it done and come back to me" he told you and you sighed, how can you afford a mri if you cannot even afford to see a doctor? "I can't afford it but thank you so much for seeing me" you told him and he finally looked at you, his eyes boaring into your soul as he did "I wasn't done yet, get it done asap, go to the Maxwell hospital and give them this, they'll do it at no cost, in the meantime I'm also writing some pills, if you feel the pain again, just take one " he gave you a note and you took it from him "I don't think that's appropriate, I don't even know you, I'll feel burdened" you passed him the note back and he looked at you.

"Just keep it, when your pain will become less bearable than your fragile ego you would consider it" okay he was an asshole, there was no denying it, his gorgeous face can't make up for that attitude. "You are very rude mister , you know what I'll keep it and show you that I don't need your mercy on me" you stormed out of the consultation room but then realised that you were just in the hospital gown so you went back again awkwardly, the smirk on his face didn't help the situation. He stepped out to allow you to get changed and then you stormed out again.

You kept the note for some reason, and as he said it did become unbearable after a few days so you went to the hospital to get your mri done like a loser. Once you got the report you went back to his office. He had so many patients today, so you had to wait like an hour to see him. When you went inside he greeted you like nothing happened last time and you were thankful for that, maybe he's not so bad afterall. He told you that you had an infected scar tissue building inside and you need to get it removed soon. A surgery? You're still under loan debt from last time, so he told you he would do it pro bono again and this time you kept your words to yourself.

"Don't be nervous, I'm very skilled with my hands, and I have years of experience" he told you,you were on the surgery table waiting for this to get done as soon as possible. Years of experience like what 5 years ? You nod your head as he smiled at you and soon you felt the darkness sweeping you in, when you woke up next he was right by your bedside, he asked how you were feeling and you said something about being drowsy, you had to be in the hospital for a week and you were surprised as to how sweet he was with you, he tended to you whenever you needed, he took care of you , and fed you and he made sure you felt comfortable while you were there, and ofcourse he paid for all of this, you were drowning in his debt.

You didn't want to fall for him, but somehow you did, well it wasn't exactly hard, combine his looks with how he treated you while you healed made you see him in a different light, you could tell he was hiding something, that behind this rude mean persona, there was a softness in him wanting to jump out and you saw the glimpses of it while you were in the hospital or so you thought you did.

"Who's the last one? Theres nobody else on appointment list" you heard him asking Misha and she said you were there to see him. He called you in and you sat down but then stood up again, maybe this wasn't a good idea. "Something wrong again y/n?" He asked you and you shook your head nervously .

"No nothing is wrong ..I just" you breathe in and he tilted his head as he looked at you. "I was just wondering weather you would want to have dinner with me sometimes or a lunch or just" you stop talking as you see his jaw clenching and he stood up abruptly. "So I give you a free service and you think I did it because I'm interested in you?"

Your eyes tear up instantly as you heard him "no i just... "

"Just don't, don't make this worse please, get out of my office, I can't deal with this right now" If there was a hole in his office somewhere you would have jumped in it, never to be seen again by anyone. You didn't think he would reject you like this , and on the top of that he was throwing you out of his office. You picked up your bag and ran so fast, first time you decided to ask a guy out and he rejected you so cruely. You would never be able to show your face again to him or misha. When you ran out Misha was concerned and she tried to stop you but you didn't listen.

It was only after you were gone is when he picked up the coffee cup he kept on his table and smashed it on the ground, he was so frustrated, his eyes tearing up. He opened his drawer and took out a picture he always kept there, he ran his thumb over the face of the woman smiling so wide as she hugged him from the side. Both of them so happy, so in love, A tear escaped his eye, and he sniffed one last time before shoving the picture back into the drawer. He picked his jacket up and came out of his office, looking like his normal stoic self, Misha looked at him as he did.

"Get that mess cleaned up for me and I never want to see her again, am I clear?"

He left to his home, he can't do this all over again.

Love in the time of Uncertainty (Loki x Female Reader)

Chapter 1

Note : (Read the synopsis here)

Summary : Chronic abdominal pain brings you to the doctor loki laufeyson himself.

Taglist : @lokiswildheartcantbebroken

"Order for table 10, it's one of your regulars who tips you really well so be nice" your manager said to you and you rolled your eyes, you had an intense pain in your belly again and you felt nauseous, it happened now n then but you could never find a valid reason for it. Google searching your symptoms can only give you limited information, you can't afford to go see a doctor or go to the hospital, your insurance won't cover it because hey you don't have one. What is your life. You took the tray and walked towards the table, it's Misha, one of your regulars, she's really kind to you and tips very generously, she will be a doctor soon so her life is set.

"Hi Misha how are you today, here's your favourite caesar salad" you smile. She's one of the customers that you actually really like, she have that carefree but kind vibe about her "thank you y/n, I have had the worst day today, my new boss can be a dick sometimes" she complained and you scrunched your face "that bad huh? Well atleast you're learning something right?" You ask her and she shook her head "Only reason why I would ever tolerate an asshole like him" she chuckled and you grabbed your belly as you felt the pain again "what's wrong ?" She asked you and you didn't really want to dwell on it but you told her as she asked again "Well you know what, I would check on that but that's really not my speciality, however you can come see my boss Loki " she told you as she took the first bite of her salad

"Misha I'm grateful for the offer but I really can't afford it, also what kind of name is loki?" You chuckled and she giggled at that "I know right, you haven't heard the last name yet, laufeyson, apparently his grandfather was really into norse mythology so he named his son laufey and it continued from there" she told you and you shook your head "Norse legends? So weird"

"But hey don't worry about the money, I'll get it done pro bono, just come and get it checked" she assured and after careful consideration you agreed, only a fool would deny a free service like that, plus you were in intense pain. So, that's how you ended up in the clinic of loki laufeyson "You can't just bring charity cases here Misha, this is the second time you have done this" you heard very faint yelling and back n forth between him and Misha coming from the consultation room and you wanted to leave or run but you didn't want to offend her, she was doing you a favor, a big one. He is british and apparently an asshole. Soon after that he came out of his office and passed by you, his eyes met yours and you felt your face heating up at that. You had no idea why when you heard Misha talking about him you expected a middle aged stubby looking man, he was anything but that.

He was atleast 6'3, had neither short nor long, just in between raven dark black hair, green eyes, and a fit lean frame, in short he was very attractive, he looked like he was the Adonis himself. He pased by you and went straight to his office on the other side. Misha came out soon after and she took you to get changed, since you had abdominal pain, she wanted you to change into a hospital gown type of thing "He'll be here soon"

"Misha all this time when you complained about him, you forgot to mention how gorgeous he is?" You gave her a look and she laughed "Ewww gross, I love my ladies, so I never really noticed" she told you and you shook your head "Good looking or not, he's a major grump so, but don't worry he's nice with patients"

She left and soon after loki came in and greeted you "Hello Y/N Y/L/N, I'm loki, how are you feeling today?" He kept his eyes on the clipboard as he talked, his voice so deep and rich when you could hear him clearly "I'm good today but sometimes I get this very sharp pain in here" you gestured towards your lower belly and he looked at you. He's the most gorgeous looking man you have ever laid eyes on without a doubt and you live in LA "Can you lie down, I'm gonna have to check something" he asked you to lie down on the examination table and you did, you were extremely nervous, he was putting his gloves on and you looked at him, he was effortlessly attractive, could be one of the reasons why he had so many patients, no no absolutely not, nope don't objectify him. He worked hard to become a doctor.

"Thank you for doing this for free, I really appreciate this" you told him, you really were thankful that Misha was able to get you an appointment "Thank Misha for that, not me, it was supposed to be an off day for me" you felt awful when he said that, he must be so annoyed by this "Anyways, I'm going to press several points in your abdomen, if it hurts when I pinch let me know instantly" he told you and you just nodded in response, you felt his gloved fingers, as he pressed on the side of your belly but you felt nothing other than the mild discomfort but when he pressed two inches below your belly button towards the right side, you winced and he stopped "it hurts here?" He asked as he did it again, you nod. Your brain didn't miss how close his hands were to your intimate part.

"Come sit" he took his gloves off as he walked away and sat down on his chair. You stepped down from the chair and he wrote something on the clipboard again "Ever had a surgery?" He asked you "Appendicitis, 2 years ago" you told him and he sighed "Okay I'm writing a MRI, get it done and come back to me" he told you and you sighed, how can you afford a mri if you cannot even afford to see a doctor? "I can't afford it but thank you so much for seeing me" you told him and he finally looked at you, his eyes boaring into your soul as he did "I wasn't done yet, get it done asap, go to the Maxwell hospital and give them this, they'll do it at no cost, in the meantime I'm also writing some pills, if you feel the pain again, just take one " he gave you a note and you took it from him "I don't think that's appropriate, I don't even know you, I'll feel burdened" you passed him the note back and he looked at you.

"Just keep it, when your pain will become less bearable than your fragile ego you would consider it" okay he was an asshole, there was no denying it, his gorgeous face can't make up for that attitude. "You are very rude mister , you know what I'll keep it and show you that I don't need your mercy on me" you stormed out of the consultation room but then realised that you were just in the hospital gown so you went back again awkwardly, the smirk on his face didn't help the situation. He stepped out to allow you to get changed and then you stormed out again.

You kept the note for some reason, and as he said it did become unbearable after a few days so you went to the hospital to get your mri done like a loser. Once you got the report you went back to his office. He had so many patients today, so you had to wait like an hour to see him. When you went inside he greeted you like nothing happened last time and you were thankful for that, maybe he's not so bad afterall. He told you that you had an infected scar tissue building inside and you need to get it removed soon. A surgery? You're still under loan debt from last time, so he told you he would do it pro bono again and this time you kept your words to yourself.

"Don't be nervous, I'm very skilled with my hands, and I have years of experience" he told you,you were on the surgery table waiting for this to get done as soon as possible. Years of experience like what 5 years ? You nod your head as he smiled at you and soon you felt the darkness sweeping you in, when you woke up next he was right by your bedside, he asked how you were feeling and you said something about being drowsy, you had to be in the hospital for a week and you were surprised as to how sweet he was with you, he tended to you whenever you needed, he took care of you , and fed you and he made sure you felt comfortable while you were there, and ofcourse he paid for all of this, you were drowning in his debt.

You didn't want to fall for him, but somehow you did, well it wasn't exactly hard, combine his looks with how he treated you while you healed made you see him in a different light, you could tell he was hiding something, that behind this rude mean persona, there was a softness in him wanting to jump out and you saw the glimpses of it while you were in the hospital or so you thought you did.

"Who's the last one? Theres nobody else on appointment list" you heard him asking Misha and she said you were there to see him. He called you in and you sat down but then stood up again, maybe this wasn't a good idea. "Something wrong again y/n?" He asked you and you shook your head nervously .

"No nothing is wrong ..I just" you breathe in and he tilted his head as he looked at you. "I was just wondering weather you would want to have dinner with me sometimes or a lunch or just" you stop talking as you see his jaw clenching and he stood up abruptly. "So I give you a free service and you think I did it because I'm interested in you?"

Your eyes tear up instantly as you heard him "no i just... "

"Just don't, don't make this worse please, get out of my office, I can't deal with this right now" If there was a hole in his office somewhere you would have jumped in it, never to be seen again by anyone. You didn't think he would reject you like this , and on the top of that he was throwing you out of his office. You picked up your bag and ran so fast, first time you decided to ask a guy out and he rejected you so cruely. You would never be able to show your face again to him or misha. When you ran out Misha was concerned and she tried to stop you but you didn't listen.

It was only after you were gone is when he picked up the coffee cup he kept on his table and smashed it on the ground, he was so frustrated, his eyes tearing up. He opened his drawer and took out a picture he always kept there, he ran his thumb over the face of the woman smiling so wide as she hugged him from the side. Both of them so happy, so in love, A tear escaped his eye, and he sniffed one last time before shoving the picture back into the drawer. He picked his jacket up and came out of his office, looking like his normal stoic self, Misha looked at him as he did.

"Get that mess cleaned up for me and I never want to see her again, am I clear?"

He left to his home, he can't do this all over again.

A Bed of Roses [1]

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

Words: 3005

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Superpower!Au

Summary: Superpowers are suppose to make you invincible, someone who could save the world, a hero. It’s not suppose to be like this…not like this. 

You pout your lips together, looking up and watching the elevator numbers increase as your mind replays the tragic events of how you wound up here.

“….accidental leak at a power plant, causing a massive explosion killing hundreds of workers….”

The arrow flashes red and a number two appears.

“Those in a two-hundred kilometer radius were exposed to high levels of radiation and it has caused absolute chaos in the streets, hundreds of civilians are evacuating the vicinity. However, authorities have urged everyone to stay inside, locking all your doors.”

The arrow flashes red and a number three appears. You exhale a long sigh, tapping your foot impatiently as the jazz elevator music continues annoying you.

“This just in! It’s been two days since the massive power plant explosion and some victims have come forward, exhibiting odd symptoms. Doctors and scientists have gathered together to examine the victims. More news will be provided as updates follow…”

The arrow flashes red and a number four appears. You clear your throat with a cough and the nurse beside you flashes a glare. Sending her a small smirk, she turns back to the elevator numbers, ignoring you again.

“Breaking news. Massive riots and turmoil have broken out onto the streets. It seems as though all radiation victims to the massive power plant explosion have gained supernatural-like mutations.”

Keep reading

Seven minutes in Heaven, but make it San (san x fem!reader)

He knows he fucked up so instead of seven minutes of heaven, you give him seven minutes of hell.

//different au from mingi’s 🌹//

Genre/warnings: smut, pwp, sub! Choi san x dom! Reader, orgasm denial, edging, choking, unprotected sex, blowjobs, handjobs; maybe I need a job, so much cum 🩷

Word count: 2.4K

A/n: holy fuck this was filthy. Some Angel wanted a San version of seven minutes in heaven so here you go, pretty. Enjoy the filth 🩷

San knew he fucked up. The moment his friends peer pressured him into choosing between two girls during truth or dare, he knew he was fucked. He hastily chose one of the girl’s name within the circle, and she blushed. She fucking blushed. Well, in his defence, it was a truth question, and that no one knew about you and San’s relationship, at least not yet, because he told you he was going to announce it during the gathering.

But now in this circle of sins he was in, kinda gave him not much of a choice, and before he realised it, her name just slips out of his mouth, and your mood immediately darkens. You very well knew the kind of friends he has when they play drinking games, and they definitely loved the thrill of burning bridges and matching couples, sometimes a little too much. The once bubbly and innocent persona of you dims when the possessiveness starts seeping in. You smile, of course you do, but it was nothing angelic nor innocent about the smile, it was dripping with pure poison. Your eyes lock onto San and he’s definitely struggling to meet your gaze, his neck and face flushed from the alcohol and his mistake.

San takes the bottle and spins it, the bottle landing on said girl he picked. You lean back, your smile still plastered as you stare daggers into him. She giggles as she chooses dare and of course, they dare her and San make out. San’s eyes widen in fear, as his eyes dart to yours, and your expression stays the same—an eyebrow raise and a pissed smile. It’s like a warning—almost a dare for him fucking try.

The girl only laughs and declines, stating that she has a slight flu, and she opts for a hug instead. Well, not any better but lesser of the two evils at least. She embraces San into a hug and the room erupts into cheers and laughter.

Everyone but you.

You swear to the heavens that you were not a jealous person, just a tad bit possessive. Jealousy and possessiveness were two totally different concepts. And possessiveness mattered in the nature of your relationship.

When the group finally calms down, she spins the bottle, landing right at you. You feign surprise, almost honoured that the bottle chose you next. You don’t hesitate to say “Dare”, with a pretty smile on your face.

“Confident aren’t you?” Mingi teases, nudging your arm. You shrug with a smile, wondering what shit your friends were gonna throw to you.

“Seven minutes in heaven”, Yeosang exclaims. “With a guy of your choice.” You raise your eyebrows. A fucking god given chance.

San feels himself getting more nervous as he starts to wonder if you would pull a random guy in just to get back at him. He knows he done fucked up, but you’d never do that, right?

“Choi San”, you pick, after pretending to take your time think, your gaze never leaving his. San’s heartbeat quickens because he doesn’t expect it. He’s relieved that you chose him but oh god, you sure do look pissed.

Your arm snakes around his as you stare down at the girl, with a look of confusion plastered on her face as you smile and say, “sorry babe, I’m borrowing him for a bit.”

The moment the doors close behind the both of you, San is immediately pushed onto the bed by you. His eyes are wide with fear, and something else—exhilaration. He’s wondering what you’re gonna do to him and that makes his cock harden so fucking quick, and your gaze never leaving his as you strip right in front of him just adding on to the arousal.

He’s splayed onto the bed, slightly panting as he continues to stare at you removing every piece of clothing cleanly before walking over to pull off his cargo pants, his boxers already starting to soak from the precum. You straddle him once his pants are on the floor.

“Baby I-“ and his sentence gets cut short when your fingers grab his jaw to pull him close for an aggressive kiss, one that makes San’s head float and his cock even harder. He’s totally melting under your touch and dominance.

He whines as you pull back, your hand still clenching his jaw. He’s breathless, so blown away by the quick make out session.

“So, you picked her?” You pout, your fingers now trailing down his neck, feeling each beautiful bump of his veins and arteries. Your touch is so light that it makes San feel sensitive as he shivers.

“I don’t! I promise babe, it was nothing serious. You know how my friends are when we drink-fuck. Besides, they don’t know we’re together”, he runs his mouth, and you remove his top before palming his erection, causing him to groan.

“Really now? The hug must have felt great right? Someone else’s tits just pressing onto yours, it probably felt fucking amazing for a slut like you”, you hum tracing down his chiseled body, so tempted to fucking squeeze his tits. Your eyes flutter back to his as he continues to deny that, despite the way you said it only causing him to harden even more.

“N-no. It’s not like t-that”, he barely manages as you press the fabric of his underwear onto his leaking tip, and rub, watching San lose his grip on reality.

“Sannie”, you call out as your hand caresses his cheek with utmost poison, as San looks back at you with a glazed look. “Good boys don’t lie.”

San knows he’s not allowed to touch you, unless you allow him to, and he feels his heart hammering in his ears, dizzy from trying to figure out what you’re trying to get at.

“I’m not lying, I promise babe”, he says, genuinely. You know he would never lie, but he still had to be punished. You reach out to grab San’s phone which was lying on the bed after you pushed him down, and set seven minutes on the timer before throwing his phone haphazardly on the bed, right beside him.

You sigh as your attention goes back to him, letting your fingers trail along his broad chest, stopping at his nipples. You lick both your thumbs before flicking his nipples, and that elicits a cry from San as his hips buck into you.

“Seven minutes isn’t long actually. I think it’s a pretty generous amount of time for you”, you say, rubbing and pulling his nipples, watching San squirm beneath you, the wet stain his underwear only growing bigger.

“Generous amount of time for me?” He repeats through hazed eyes.

“Yeah. A generous amount of time to hold you from cumming”, you reply nonchalantly. “I’m not letting you cum until the timer rings, darling.”

That sends shivers down San’s spine and he whines, both fear and arousal intertwining. He’s oh, so fucked, and he could only reply, “yes.”

A smile spreads across your face as you immediately got to work—pulling off his boxers as his cock springs out, so big and hard. You wet your hand with your spit as you start pumping him, more beautiful moans escape from his lips as his hips begin to automatically fuck your hand. As you continue to drive him up the wall, you lean into his neck, and suck against his soft skin, and that releases even more whimpers as you mark a couple of deep red bites and hickeys around his neck.

“I can’t believe I have to mark you like this to remind you who you belong to”, you sigh again, flicking your wrist up, earning a soft cry from him as more precum seeps out of his cockhead. He murmurs “sorry, baby, I’m sorry”, as you continue to pump his cock, with short intervals of teasing his nipples.

His cock twitches in your palm and that’s your signal to let go, watching San groan as he’s first orgasm get denied, his hands gripping the sheets.

“We’re only getting started”, you remind him as you sink yourself to face his cock. San’s breathing hitches.

It was definitely going to be the longest seven minutes of his life.

Your lips wrapped around his cock as you bob your head, making sure your tongue feels up the under area of his cock—where he’s the most sensitive. You take his whole length in your mouth, feeling him at the back of your throat as you clench on him and a loud broken whimper is heard from him.

“Babe, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”, he cries out, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes as his cock twitches in pain when you leave him dry and empty for the second round.

“Do you know what you did wrong?” You ask, letting his cock leave your lips with a pop, his precum dripping off from the corner of your lips as you pepper kisses to his pretty little cock. Through his ragged pants, he barely makes out, “I shouldn’t have let her touch me at all. I’ve been bad.”

You don’t reply him, only going back to sucking his soul of his cock as his hips rise to fit himself as much as he could in your mouth. He feels his stomach tighten again, and you see the flex his abdomen does when he’s going to cum, and he’s crying, “fuck fuck fuck, I’m so close, I’m cumming-“

And your lips leave his cock.

“Fuckkkkkk”, San whines, his knuckles turning white from how hard he’s gripping the sheets.

You ignore his pleas, your eyes glance over to the timer—four minutes left. You look back him with the softest gaze, as you comb your boyfriend’s hair back. “I’m gonna fuck you”, you tell him and it sounds like a threat, and also it goes directly to his cock. He’s so fucked. He knows he can’t last in you for long, let alone for another X amount of minutes left.

San can only watch, wide-eye and hopeless as you shift up to straddle him once more, only rubbing your wet cunt against his very wet cock. He throws his head back against the sheets, his chest heaving as you grind up on him.

Being denied of three orgasms, the fourth one builds up rapidly as he attempts to push his hips up to rut against you, his cock leaking thick, white precum already. “Please. I don’t think I can take it”, he whimpers, this time his tears streak down his face as his cock twitches pathetically against his abdomen, thick fluid dripping down his cockhead, mixing with your juices. And you immediately slow down, another beautiful cry from the male underneath you as his orgasm slips away from him.

You almost feel bad, almost. But seven minutes still wasn’t up. But you do let him touch you this time, and immediately, his hands are all over you, grasping at every inch of skin he brushes against. He claws against your thighs, leaving pretty marks in his wake. You wipe his tears away and press a loving kiss on his lips as you position his cockhead right at your fluttering hole, as you sink in so fucking easily.

“Oh my fucking god, fuck”, San cries out, his cock just twitching in your pussy. A sigh leaves your lips, feeling so full as San’s cock hits all the right spots perfectly. San’s eyes meet yours, as you stroke his hair affectionately.

“Do you think you deserve to cum?” You ask, rocking your hips painfully slow. San can’t answer, he’s so fucked out and he wants to cum so fucking badly. Your hands wrap around his neck, as you force him to look at you. He nods desperately, just wanting a release after being denied four whole orgasms.

“Please, let me cum, please, I’m begging you”, he strains, and you feel his thighs trembling from beneath you. Your gaze flicker to the timer, and you smile at him.

“Lucky you, baby. There’s only a minute left.”

San is frantic and borderline crazed right now, trying to hold it off for the final minute, and his soul almost leaves his body as you fucking begin bouncing on his cock, the sounds of your moans mixed with the squelching from his cock fucking into your cunt sending him off the edge.

“Thirty seconds, baby”, you remind him as you feel the knot in your stomach from how fucking filled San’s cock is in you. Fuck, you were so gonna cum too at this rate. You don’t tell him about the final ten, because you simply speed up, leaning forward to bounce on his dick better, the sounds of skin slapping now louder than ever.

“Babe, fuck, I’m gonna cum, can I cum, please?” San stares at you pleadingly, eyes wet with desperation. You don’t answer him, only grabbing his jaw in your hands as you fuck him even harder. “When the alarm rings”, is all you reply. “Be a good boy.”

And the alarm goes off, so does Choi San. His eyes are barely open as his lips are parted in absolute bliss as a long, drawn out whine of pleasure and relief washes over him as his cock shoots ropes and ropes of thick, white cum right into your tight hole. At that moment your orgasm hits you, seeing your boyfriend so fucked out and pretty like that, as you lean back and squirt all over him, tapping and rubbing your pussy, making sure it gets all over his pretty fucking face as San continues to cum into your pussy. The overstimulation of your cunt clenching on his cock only milks out even more cum, a thick load just oozing right out of your cunt as his cock is softening in you.

He pulls out and winces, the sensitivity tingling through this body. He sits up, and you take a good look at him, and oh fucking boy, he looks so fucking good, covered in sweat, panting, his hair combed back, his nipples looking swollen, hickies littered all over his neck, cum and squirt just all over him. “Fuck, you look so fucking hot like that”, is the first thing that leaves San’s mouth, causing you to break into laughter as you lean in for another greedy kiss which he never denies you.

You reach out for tissue on the nightstand, to at least clean the cum running down your thighs, which San, for his life could not keep his eyes off. San cleans himself up as you pull up your panties and wear your clothes back on. You turn to San, who is about to put his top back on, and stop him. San is confused for a moment as he stays put, feeling your fingers tips trace over the love bites on his neck.

No not enough. You squeeze his tits, a small gasp leaving his lips which turns into a moan when you suck near his nipple—another gorgeous hickey blooms. Two more bloom on his chest and you were done. Your hands graze his nipples, causing him to whimper. “I think this is a good way to let them know of our relationship”, you hum, admiring your artwork. “We can leave like this.”

Pink creeps up to his neck and cheeks. You stare at him and a pout appears. “What, you want to let her know you want her?” San shakes his head quickly. “N-no! I only belong to you”, he says through flushed cheeks.

“That’s my good boy”, you smile as you stroke his hair as San completely melts around you. You take his hand gently and kiss it before opening the door.

Everyone turns their attention to the both of you, and boy, did their jaws hang open.

“Bro, what the fuck did you guys do in there?” Mingi asks, staring at the disheveled state the both of you were in, and his eyes land on San’s body, which is so prettily decorated.

“Yeah, we wanted to announce that we’ve been dating for awhile now, but seems like he got a little carried away with spin the bottle”, you respond, drawing circles in San’s palm.

All of their eyes follow the both of you as you and San return to your seats. Your eyes meet the girl’s and you giggle.

“Sorry it took awhile, I brought him back.”

The girl who he hugged isn’t fazed, she only laughs in response, saying, “oh my god, fuck off. Jesus Christ the both of you.” You only laugh back as your eyes meet San’s and his gaze reflects something so affectionate and delicate.

Yeah, that was probably one of the best seven minutes of his life.

;dimple (m)

pairing—kim seokjin x reader genre/warnings—smut, comedy, slight angst/drama, romance, slow burn, roommates/friends words— 14,725

summary— What’s the rule again? How many dates does it take for you have sex with a guy? Three? Five? Ten?! What if all this waiting and you can’t remember how to do it? It’s been so long since the last time you swear you’ve forgotten! You’re desperate, and that’s how you end up asking your roommate for help. Only trouble is, you get much more than you bargained for…

Keep reading

ahhh fuckit why not - halloween comic in november

(apologies for inconsistent quality)

as a big fan of pride and prejudice, and of jeno, you DELIVERED AND ATE IT DOWN

pairing: prideandprejudice!jeno x afab!reader

words: 17.8k+

summary: lee jeno is the furthest idea of a possible suitor in your mind. yet somehow, fate continues to pair you together.

genre: fluff, angst, smut

warnings: loss of virginity, cunnilingus, penetrative sex, creampie, slight breeding kink

this is basically pride & prejudice (2005)

“You are behaving foolishly,” you comment as Minji runs around the room, encouraging your headache to grow. Jimin exhales from her spot next to you, hands folded in her lap like one of those formal ladies you used to make fun of when you were younger.

“Minji, please sit,” Jimin sighs exasperatedly. Minjeong giggles from her position on the opposite couch, slouching even though she’s not meant to look so unseemly.

Minji finally takes her seat and rolls her eyes at Jimin. “Sister, you must feel some ounce of joy. It’s our first time at a ball!”

It was true — your family had been all but shunned from any formal engagements due to your lack of wealth, but lately, your father has climbed up the ranks and gotten respect from some of the rich parties across town. His hard work resulted in you and your sisters being invited to your first ball, an elite event made up of high society members.

Your mother took this as a sign of a wedding on the horizon since none of your sisters have received formal proposals yet despite being of age. Minji is overjoyed, Jimin is stressing out, and Minjeong is displeased with the situation at hand. Minjeong has always been proud of your family, regardless of status, and she hates the social climbers that migrated around these parties.

You’re indifferent to tonight’s events, willing to tag along to whatever boisterous adventures you find.

Your mother comes frantically into the room just as Minji has finally calmed herself down, hair tied messily on top of her head and corset barely laced up.

“Girls, we must leave soon!” She declares, stroking her fingers through Minjeong’s hair to perfect it.

“Mother, you look unkempt,” Jimin scolds, standing from her spot to finish lacing up your mother’s corset and taming her unruly hair. Your mother profusely apologizes before shooing her away.

“This night is not about me. It’s about you girls. Now remember, Mr. Lee and Mr. Na will both be in attendance. They come from very affluent families, and it would be in your best interest to invest your time into them as they are the most desired bachelors of the season.”

Minjeong scoffs. “Mother, I highly doubt entertaining these men who deny our self-worth is in our best interest.”

Your mother’s mouth opens to scold Minjeong until the click of your father’s shoes come padding down the hall. In his old age, your father traditionally expects all of you to be married off before he passes. Otherwise, the estate transfers over to your cousin, Nakamoto Yuta, who has always been less than kind to your family. You know he would wed you and your sisters off to the first men he comes across just to keep your family’s earnings for himself.

“Are we ready to depart?” Your father asks, smiling proudly in his formal wear. All of your sisters rise from their seats, with Minji nearly jumping out of hers and Minjeong being heavily prodded by your mother.

It’s a long ride to the ball with your family’s estate being located further away from higher society. You and Minji play games on the journey as Minjeong sleeps and Jimin frets over what to say when you arrive.

Jimin has always been the more responsible one out of your sisters, and you understand she has a heavier burden on her shoulders to be married first. Luckily with you being one year younger, there wasn’t as much of an expectation for you to be wed so fast.

The arrival of your family is greeted with a hesitant welcome, most of the men smiling at your father and the women analyzing your sisters and your mother. You grip Minjeong’s arm for dear life, feeling a little more hesitant about the experience now that you have stepped foot on the grounds.

“This is absurd,” Minjeong whispers in your ear as you enter the expansive ballroom. People are gathered in some of their most formal outerwear with music echoing around the dance floor.

“Would you not enjoy a dance?” You ask your sister, heels clacking against the wood floors as you scurry your way through the crowd. You imagine dancing would be quite nice — you and your siblings have spent nights practicing in your rooms, hands joining together as you pretend that you all are actually on the dance floor. Tonight would be perfect to bring those memories to life, but Minjeong doesn’t seem very fond of the idea.

“Have you forgotten that we are not allowed to dance with one another? We must find a partner,” she reminds you, and your eyes flutter around the room to see the prospects.

You’ve seen most of these men in passing, like Lee Taeyong or Lee Mark. You have heard that the brothers are kinder than their appearance might make them seem and perhaps they would entertain you with a spin on the floor.

You suddenly feel Minji grip your arm and she squeals in your ear. “There they are! Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin!”

Your eyes turn to the entrance, where the men of the night are starting to flock in. Lee Jeno, a known affluent man, owns one of the largest estates in the country and has been one of the most desired bachelors for years now. His friend, Na Jaemin, has just moved to the country, making this ball his first public appearance. Similar to Jeno, Jaemin owns multiple estates with an abundant fortune sitting in his bank.

In this world, they are a girl’s one way ticket to safety.

You see Jimin’s back straighten in anticipation, and you know she has her eyes set on Jaemin.

Your mother approaches your side, squeezing your arm. “Behave now, girls.”

Your family gathers to present yourselves in front of Jeno and Jaemin, bowing and curtsying in respect. Jeno simply appears bored, eyes scanning the room in an air of confidence and arrogance. Jaemin immediately smiles at Jimin, who grows slightly bashful under his gaze.

“Mr. Na, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” your father greets first, shaking Jaemin’s hand with fervor.

“You as well, sir. I’m taken by the people’s hospitality to my arrival,” Jaemin remarks.

“It’s rare we get a new face in this town,” your mother replies happily. “And such a handsome one at that.”

Jaemin’s smile is blinding, basking in the compliments and attention. Jeno, on the other hand, looks like he wants to leave and never return.

The music suddenly changes to the tempo of the traditional dance, and Jaemin asks Jimin to join him on the floor. Your sister shyly accepts and you hear both your mother and Minji squeal to one another. Minjeong rolls her eyes and informs you she’s going to find some refreshments for herself.

She leaves you with Jeno, who still appears stiff and unapproachable. You decide to take the first leap into conversation.

“Do you like to dance, Mr. Lee?”

He blinks once, scanning you before answering. “Not if I can help it.”

You’re deterred by his answer until Minji tugs you forward, nudging you to join her on the dance floor. You’re paired with Taeyong, who politely bows to you.

You feel a pair of eyes follow you while you maneuver around bodies of the elite, and your mind lingers on the disdainful presence of Lee Jeno.

Once the music subsides, you take another politeful curtsy to Taeyong before sweeping the room for your fellow companion, An Yujin. Yujin, like your family, was not born into wealth and struggles in society as you do. However, because of her charisma, she is able to sneak her way into parties by charming some of the men for an invitation. You spot her in between a few other guests and eagerly pull her away.

“You did not tell me you were coming!” She exclaims, wrapping you up in a hug.

“We were not informed until earlier this week,” you share, walking along with her as you move your way through the crowd. “Is it not so lovely?”

“Very,” she giggles, her voice turning down when you spot Jeno and Jaemin walking very close to you two. They do not catch sight of you, speaking quietly to one another.

“What a splendid night, so many lovely women,” Jaemin chuckles.

Jeno replies in a bored tone. “You were dancing with the only lovely woman in this room.”

“Yes, she was quite a keeper, was she not?” Jaemin hums, and you and Yujin exchange a look. “I saw you speaking to her sister. She was quite admirable as well.”

Jeno scoffs. “Admirable? Barely tolerable, I would say.”

The conversation is cut short when Jaemin’s sister sweeps them away to meet another family. You huff at Jeno’s clear dislike of you and Yujin pats your hand in comfort when they disappear into the crowd.

“What a horrid man,” you comment.

“Do not fret,” Yujin smiles. “If he liked you, you would actually have to speak with him.”

You giggle in agreement. “Yes, imagine having to entertain a man like that.”

“Jimin looks rather happy, though,” Yujin remarks fondly. “She’s thoroughly taken by Mr. Na.”

You gaze over at your sister, who is happily chattering with Minji. “It seems so. I hope mother is taking her bearings and not placing too much pressure upon her shoulders.”

“I think it might be too late for that.”

Your mother has suddenly grouped Minji and Jimin into directly speaking with Jaemin and Jeno. You exchange a look with Yujin before walking over to save your sisters from this debacle. When you step into their circle, you hear Jaemin compliment Jimin’s dancing.

“She is quite the dancer, if I must say.”

“Yes, yes!” Your mother shouts. “She and her sisters practice all the time. My handsome Jimin, you see, is definitely the most well-rounded of all my daughters!”

“Mother!” You scold, trying to stop her as she continues to embarrass your sisters.

However, she ignores your protest and Jimin’s visible contempt. “Jimin’s always had a vast amount of suitors, you know. There was this one bewitching gentleman who I thought would propose to her last spring but alas, all the man did was write a few poems.”

“And that ended it completely,” you cut in, and Jimin throws you a grateful look. “Who ever decided that poetry was a suitable medium to a woman’s heart? Very poor choice, might I say.”

Your statement earns you a few laughs until a haughty voice interrupts.

“So what do you propose?” Jeno retorts, and it’s the most engaged he’s been with you all night. His eyes bore into yours with the most intense observance. “Poetry has been the love language for suitors across all ages. What do you propose is better to take its place?”

You smile mischievously. “Dancing, I believe. Even if one’s partner is barely tolerable.”

Jeno’s face morphs into a mix of understanding and discomfort at your recall. You smirk, offering him another curtsy before vanishing back into the crowd.

You feel the burn of his stare follow you.

—

“Shopping for such a simple piece of clothing must seem so benign, do you not think so?”

“Yes, it quite certainly is,” you reply, tugging Minjeong into a nearby fabric store. “But it is necessary in order to impress the likes of the Na family for Jimin’s best interest.”

You and your sisters have made a trip into town to purchase new dresses for another upcoming ball planned by Jaemin. Since your first encounter with him, he and Jimin have made slow strides into courting one another, and this dance may be an opportunity to make it more official. Therefore, you have taken the role of stringing your family into the best shape to appease high society.

Jimin is already browsing through a variety of pinks and blues, carefully explaining to the seamstress that she has no desire for lavish embellishments to her dress. Although she would never admit her nerves, you can detect it from the way she frantically combs her fingers through her hair.

“Play nice for once,” you say to Minjeong, stroking her arm in consolation. “This could mean wonders for Jimin.”

“I can play nice,” Minjeong agrees hesitantly, pretending to be interested in some of the frilly ribbon decorating the store.

The bell above the door rings, signaling another customer walking in. You all turn to see a gentleman come inside, and you curtsy to greet him.

“My apologies for the intrusion,” he smiles, and you take note how captivating he appears. “It’s pouring out there and I was hoping to take shelter in here.”

“Of course, Mr. Lee,” the seamstress nods, gesturing for him to walk about as he pleases.

His eyes zero in on you. He takes your hand and presses a kiss to your knuckles. You bow your head coyly.

“Lee Donghyuck, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Are you ladies also shielding yourselves from the horrid rain?”

You smile and return your hand to your side.

“In contrast, Mr. Lee, we are prolifically finding ourselves a manner of dress for the Na ball,” you share, and his eyes sparkle at your response.

“Ah, I see. It must be an extremely difficult decision for you then.”

You laugh. “Yes, it’s quite the hunt for us.”

Minjeong suddenly reappears next to you. “And what brings you to town this evening, Mr. Lee?”

He offers a nod to your sister. “Some of the men from our militia district are in town for our homecoming. We have gathered into town to see what we all have dearly missed from our time away.”

His eyes flit over to you once more, and you bashfully glance down at your feet.

“I must come and see what beholds the community of this ball,” he states, hands wringing together behind his back. “It looks to be an event of importance.”

As soon as Jimin finds the right fabric for her dress and you review the designs for the rest of your family, Donghyuck offers to walk you all back to your estate. Luckily, the weather clears by the time you finish shopping.

You speak with Donghyuck on the way home, with Minji throwing the two of you suggestive looks as you break off from the others.

“How long are you in town for then?”

“Another fortnight or two, dependent on the weather,” he replies, his shoulder brushing against yours as you stride along.

“It must be pleasant to be back home. I cannot imagine how much you have missed it,” you say, enjoying the warmth of his figure every time his arm presses against yours.

He opens his mouth to respond before Minji’s loud hollers interrupt him.

“Oh, Mr. Na! Mr. Na!”

Minji calls out to Jaemin across the river, who is riding horseback alongside Jeno. Your eyes narrow at Jeno’s appearance, still feeling offended from his malicious comments against you. He, in turn, returns your heated glare but to your surprise, it’s not directed at you. His focus is solely on the man beside you, and you notice how Donghyuck tenses at his presence.

“Mr. Na, we just came from the dress shop to look fitting for your ball!” Minji calls happily.

Jaemin gives a nod, his eyes floating to Jimin.

“I’m happy to hear of it!” He replies.

The conversation is cut short when Jeno suddenly instructs his horse to trot away. You observe his abrupt exit, with Jaemin promising to see your family at the ball before following his friend.

“Very ill-mannered, that one is,” Donghyuck comments, scoffing as Jeno’s figure disappears further and further in the distance.

You begin the trek home again as Minjeong speeds up her pace and Jimin tugs Minji along to keep up. You fall behind in order to uncover the deeper meaning of Donghyuck’s words.

“You seem to have an uncivil assumption of Mr. Lee,” you note to him, and he hums in agreement.

“Mr. Lee and I do not get along well.”

“May I inquire why?”

“I have known Mr. Lee since birth, you see. Our families were very close and I thought of his father as mine and he thought mine as his. When my father passed, I became closer to his own as a result. Eventually, when Jeno’s father grew sickly, he asked that the rights of the Lee estate be passed onto me. At that point, you must imagine, we were closer than he and his son ever were and it drove Jeno wild with jealousy.”

You can visualize Jeno as the epitome of bitterness, envy blazing his form as he watches Donghyuck grow closer to his father. You fail to realize how your bias towards disliking Jeno prevents you from questioning the truthfulness to Donghyuck’s story.

He continues. “After his father passed, Jeno willingly sought my demise by forcing me into the militia and preventing me from inheriting his estate. I hope you can see now why I do not enjoy entertaining his presence.”

“That is purely vengeful,” you say with sympathy, almost wishing to apologize on Jeno’s behalf. “It pains me to think you had to go through such a thing.”

He smiles and shrugs it off.

“It is in the past, and we must look towards the future. I shall be delighted to see you at the ball, miss.”

You curtsy and grin. “You as well, Mr. Lee.”

—

Donghyuck is the first person you search for when you arrive at the Na estate.

You spot Yujin in between bodies, tugging her along in your search. She laughs and follows you as you weave your way through the crowd.

“How handsome is he that has you so besotten?”

“He’s just wonderful, Yujin!” You exclaim passionately. “If you spoke to him as well, you would know!”

You pass by numerous familiar faces, asking them if they have seen Donghyuck lingering around. You disappointingly receive a resounding denial at the sight of his presence.

Jimin calls your name quietly when she approaches you and Yujin in the drawing room.

“I do not believe Mr. Lee is here. It seems he has been sent off.”

You frown. “Sent off? Oh, but he must be here!”

“There you are.”

All three of you jump at the sound of a male voice entering your conversation. You turn to see your cousin, Yuta, staring at you intimidatingly. You curtsy in respect.

“I was wondering if it would please you to join me.”

He gestures to the dance floor and you almost choke.

“Mr. Nakamoto, I did not know you danced.”

If you did not know any better, you would guess Yuta was glaring at you judging by the weight of his stare.

“I do not think it so inappropriate for a gentleman of my status to ask a woman for a dance. As much as I think it is not inappropriate for you to accept.”

You flounder. Your sisters had gossiped a few days ago about Yuta being in search of a wife, but you would have never guessed he had his sights set on you.

You nod timidly, trying your best to ignore Yujin and Jimin’s incredulity. He guides you to the floor and you make your best attempt at taking him seriously.

The dance is almost comical to you, suddenly burdened by Yuta’s intense gaze. He has never shown the slightest interest towards you until now, and his advances only bring you laughter.

As soon as the music ends, you grab Yujin’s arm and pull her away to avoid Yuta’s further questioning. The two of you giggle at the spectacle that just took place.

“Can you believe Mr. Nakamoto just-“

Your voice catches in your throat when you almost collide into someone’s chest. Your eyes drift up to catch the sight of Jeno.

He still has that same bored expression painting his face but you can see a hint of nervousness clouding his eyes.

“May I have the next dance?”

You are slightly startled by the question, but you manage to keep your decorum intact.

“You may.”

He offers you a nod before disappearing into the crowd once more. Yujin squeezes your arm.

“Did you agree to dance with Mr. Lee?”

“For heaven’s sake, I believe I have. I must be going mad, Yujin. He is the man I have sworn to hate,” you gasp.

She shakes you from your trance and guides you back to the dance floor, bringing you face to face with Jeno. He is a lot more restless than usual, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he avoids your gaze.

The dance begins with a respectful curtsy and bow. You begin to move to meet Jeno at the center and remark, “This is a beautiful dance.”

He curtly nods. “Yes, I think so.”

He is rather lucky you’re determined to be on your best behavior or else you would have rolled his eyes at the simple comment. You turn past Kang Seulgi’s figure and meet him again in the middle.

“It is your turn to make conversation, Mr. Lee. Usually, you would compliment the host of the gathering or comment on the people who have attended.”

“Is that so?” He muses, taking slow steps around Lee Mark to circle back to you. You join your hands in the middle and pace quietly to the hum of the violin playing. “Please do tell what invigorating subject you would like for me to focus on.”

You can tell he’s trying to push your buttons and you grit your teeth. “A lady must not lead the conversation so easily, Mr. Lee. It is your job to set the tone.”

You separate to continue the dance, rotating again around Seulgi and Mark’s figures.

“Do you and your sisters go shopping in town often?”

You hesitate, knowing he’s beginning to broach the subject of Donghyuck. You connect in the middle, the bottom of your dress skirting by him.

“Lately yes, we have. We find it a great opportunity to get out and meet new people. In fact, we had just met a lovely man that day you saw us by the river.”

His lips press into a thin line. “Lee Donghyuck is charming, indeed. His ability to win over women’s hearts is quite notable, but it does not fare in comparison to his ability to quickly lose that adoration.”

You bite back, dancing in another circle and attempting to keep your composure. “Yes, and it was so devastating to hear that he has lost that devotion from you. Quite irreversible, is it?”

“Indeed,” he nearly hisses, stopping in the middle to sneer at you. The dance continues but you hold your ground, staring at him with as much anger as you can muster. “Why do you ask such a question?”

“To inquire into your character, Mr. Lee.”

His eyes burn with an unanticipated flame. “And what did you discover?”

“Very little. I hear quite different stories about your character and it baffles me exceptionally.”

“My apologies,” he states, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “I hope to clear your troubled thoughts going forward.”

You both resume the dance, but it somehow feels like the entire room has disappeared. The weight of your words builds the tension and you follow the steps of the dance you know by heart, but your eyes no longer drift to different parts of the room. They stay focused on Jeno, who is equally captured by you.

The two of you speak nothing more until you return to the same spots you started the dance in. The sound of applause jolts you out of your stupor and you take one last look at Jeno, offering him a polite curtsy before exiting the floor.

You’re startled when you nearly run into Yuta again on your way to the drawing room.

He says your name in a rigid tone. “You’re well acquainted with Mr. Lee?”

You almost stutter. “Not very well. I will admit, I’m surprised to see you at such an event, Mr. Nakamoto.”

“Are you? Your mother has brought it up to me on many occasions, especially noting that you would be in attendance.”

You clench a fist behind your back and silently curse your mother.

“Did she? I cannot imagine why she would think that would be of importance to you.”

“I am sure you have heard of my search for a companion to my estate. Lady Park has been stressing the issue and I am not one to avoid her suggestions,” he shares, taking a small step closer to you.

You take a step back. You and your sisters know all about Lady Park — the woman who financially supports Yuta until he gets a hold of your family’s fortune when you and your siblings are married off and your father has passed. She dictates every aspect of Yuta’s life and he must engage in her wishes to ensure his funds are properly taken care of.

“Mr. Nakamoto, I will save you the trouble. I have no desire to be married at this time, so whatever offer my mother promised you cannot be fulfilled on my account.”

He frowns. “Surely, a girl of your age understands the need for a husband in this economy. A comfortable life could save you the misfortune of attending these dances.”

“If you do not mind my candor, I do not believe a comfortable life for me would include you in it. I sincerely hope you are able to find a wife who is best suited to help you run your estate.”

You curtsy for him, ignoring the malicious sneer he throws your way. You scurry into the drawing room, searching for Yujin and finding her near the piano. Minji is playing to her heart’s content and it seems she has been doing so for hours, and your father walks over to tell her to be mindful of other people’s time.

You loop your arm around Yujin’s to get her attention.

“Oh, how was it?” She exclaims enthusiastically as you pull her away. “You did not look so pleased to be in Mr. Lee’s presence from what I could see.”

You huff. “Truly an understatement. And you will not believe the kind of proposal Mr. Nakamoto approached me with.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Do not tell me-“

“I denied it, of course. It would have been a loveless coupling, much to my mother’s chagrin.”

She frowns at your indifference. “You know, you are blissfully lucky to even have such an offer come across you. Your family has only been in high society for a few months yet you have already gotten a marriage proposal from a wealthy suitor.”

“Is that all you heard? A wealthy suitor,” you repeat with a scoff. “Yujin, Mr. Nakamoto has despised my family since Jimin came of age. I would like to think I should get a say in who I marry and not just because he is inheriting my father’s pocket.”

You brush off her continued sorrow over your situation. Your eyes scan the room, seeing your mother hang by the staircase with a glass of wine in her hands, loudly praising Jimin for catching the attention of Jaemin. Jimin, on the other hand, is conversing quietly with him a few feet away, awkwardly tucking her hair behind her ears and avoiding his gaze. Minji is tugging Minjeong along now that she is not berating a crowd with her piano playing, the both of them laughing at some of the guests around them.

“I believe my family is entertaining the masses well enough,” you muse.

She laughs and nods, sweeping your previous conversation about Yuta under the rug.

“The upside is that Mr. Na does not seem to mind,” she says, and the two of you watch him laugh at something Jimin has whispered.

“I think he is quite devoted to her.”

She hums. “But does she return his favor?”

You chuckle. “What are you on about? Of course she does! He’s all she ever thinks about.”

“All I am saying is that having a wonderful man like Mr. Na becoming smitten is a rare chance. However, if Jimin does not outwardly express her intentions, he could be deterred from continuing his advances.”

You shake your head. “She’s just shy, you know that. She is not the type to wear her heart on her sleeve like most other women.”

“But Mr. Na is not well acquainted with that fact. He does not know her as we do. She has to take advantage of his love before the clock runs out.”

You study your sister and her suitor, wondering if Yujin was right.

Your eyes drift over to catch Jeno’s, who is intently watching you from across the room. His hands are folded behind his back and despite the many women surrounding him, he only has his gaze directed at you. You interpret it in the wrong fashion, assuming he has once again taken on a mission to taunt you.

You hold your head high, hauling Yujin to the next room and disregarding the irritating presence of Lee Jeno.

—

It is weeks later when your family catches news that Jaemin is leaving the city.

Jimin is utterly distraught, ostracizing herself in her room while your mother frantically runs around the house, insisting the news cannot be true. You hesitantly approach Jimin as she is crying on her bed, curled up with her face stuffed in her pillow. You brush back her hair and sigh.

“Mr. Na is an idiot for leaving without proposing to you,” you say, trying your best to comfort her. “All of us could see he was so taken with you. I am sure he will return soon and bring you with him.”

“Do not bother,” she sniffles, wiping the tears falling down her cheeks. “I knew I could never be an acceptable fit for him. He saw our family and ran for the hills.”

“Stop putting yourself below him,” you scold. “You were a very acceptable match for him and it is his fault if he could not see how uniquely extraordinary you are. He will learn his regret soon.”

You leave her to wallow in her sadness, telling your mother to stop her fussing and leave Jimin alone. You catch some fresh air outside, basking in the sunlight before you hear the crunch of leaves from behind you.

You barely register Yujin’s form until she’s tackling you in a hug. You gasp and lock your arms tight around her.

“What on earth are you doing here?” You laugh, and she gives you another squeeze before pulling away. You take in the anxiety clouding her face.

“I have come to tell you the joyful news — Mr. Nakamoto and I are engaged.”

You take a step back, astonished by the reveal. You blink rapidly and stutter. “E-Engaged? To be wed?”

“Of course, silly. What other kind of engaged is there?” She drinks in your nauseated expression and sighs. “Do not give me that. You should be perfectly happy for me.”

“But he is ridiculous! And so much older than you. Yujin, you cannot possibly-“

“Yes, I can,” she replies in a stern tone. “Not all of us can afford to have choices. He is offering me a comfortable life and a beautiful home. And now, your family will no longer have to worry that some tyrant will swoop in and steal your father’s earnings.”

“But Yujin-“

She continues. “My father is very close to losing his job and my family is in danger of falling from high society. I do not have many prospects, and I am very thankful that Mr. Nakamoto approached me. I am terribly frightened, do you not see? So please, do not judge me.”

You embrace her. “I apologize, I did not realize how tough it must have been for you.”

She shakily returns your affection. “Promise me you will come visit when you can? Lady Park has a wonderful cottage that we will be staying in when we are married.”

You nod. “I most certainly will. I have to ensure you are being taken care of properly.”

She giggles. “I will miss you.”

After a tearful goodbye, you watch Yujin’s figure disappear into the horizon and return home. You feel a plethora of emotions swirling around your head from Yujin’s future — mainly concern but also a feeling of happiness for her safety. As much as you were not fond of Yuta, you know he would still treat her with respect.

You are taken aback when you enter your home to see your mother with a handful of garments in her arms. She rushes up the stairs with Minji following closely behind. You fume when you see her entering Jimin’s room.

“Mother, I told you to leave Jimin well enough alone!”

You ascend the staircase and follow them, confused when you see a suitcase splayed out on Jimin’s bed as your mother stuffs clothing into it as fast as she can.

“Oh, there you are!” Your mother exclaims at the sight of you. “Come here and help Jimin pack for her trip. Where in heavens did you disappear to?”

Your eldest sister is now up on her feet, looking slightly more lively. Minji is eagerly folding dresses for her.

You speak slowly. “I was out speaking with Yujin. She is betrothed to Mr. Nakamoto.”

They all pause at the news. Your mother is the most engaged, furious by the revelation.

“I told you! Mr. Nakamoto is a reputable man who could have brought you wonderful children.” You wince at the thought. “You should have accepted his proposal when he offered!”

“Oh mother,” Jimin interjects, coming to your defense. “The man did not even have the decency to ask father for permission.”

“What exactly are we packing for?” You ask, desperate to move the topic of conversation far from you.

Your mother immediately brightens, forgetting about nagging you for a second. “Jimin is going out of the city to stay with your aunt and uncle! She will remain for a visit until Mr. Na sees the error of his ways.”

You frown, approaching them as they continue to pack Jimin’s belongings.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Of course it’s what she wants!”

You and Jimin ignore your mother’s enthusiasm. She nods at you, smiling softly.

“I think so. No, no, I believe so. I want to fight for him.”

You smile at the sparkle of determination in your sister’s eye. You happily help her fold the rest of her belongings.

Your mother has already called the carriage, with Minjeong holding the door open with a disinterested look on her face. Jimin envelops her in a hug as she passes and you see Minjeong’s hardened expression melt a little.

You all help Jimin into the carriage and wave her off, praying to the heavens that Na Jaemin will offer her a second chance.

—

You breathe in the smell of the quaint countryside, laughing when Yujin comes bursting out the front door of her cottage and embraces you tightly.

“I cannot believe you are finally here! I have waited so long for your arrival,” she says.

“I am delighted the weather was favorable enough for the trip,” you murmur, pulling away and smiling softly. “This is a lovely home, Yujin.”

“Oh please, you flatter me so. You have not yet seen the inside!”

She pulls you through the door, and you drink in the sight of the living room. It feels warm and cozy, which is exactly what you would expect from a home decorated by your friend.

Yuta comes walking down the long hallway, eyeing you.

“I see you have made a successful trip here.”

You curtsy. “Yes, Mr. Nakamoto. I am honored that you and Yujin have allowed me to stay for a short period.”

“You know you can stay for as long as you like!” Yujin exclaims. “I have missed your company a great many.”

She guides you into the room where you will take your stay. She helps you unpack your luggage, admiring the new dresses you have acquired in her absence.

“And how is Jimin? I was curious to know of her whereabouts since the last letter of yours arrived.”

You sigh. “It has been months since she left to stay with our aunt and uncle. No progress has been made for her and Mr. Na, and I fear for her heartbreak when she returns to us.”

Yujin frowns. “How dreadful. I do hope she is able to win his affections before it is too late.”

“Whatever the case may be, Mr. Na has surely lost a beautiful bride.”

She hums in agreement.

Yuta interrupts your conversation hours later, rushing into your room with a delighted expression.

“Yujin! Lady Park has asked us to come to supper,” he declares.

Yujin stands from her spot on your bed, clapping her hands in excitement.

“Oh, wonderful! That is absolutely delightful.” She turns to you, gripping your elbows. “You must come with us. Lady Park would be overjoyed to meet you.”

“O-Oh,” you stutter, unsure of what to say. “I haven’t got much to wear.”

Yuta brushes off your concern. “Lady Park is not averse to your manner of dress. Simply put on your best and you can accompany us.”

You join Yujin and Yuta that evening to meet Lady Park at her grand estate, which is merely a few miles away from their cottage. You hold your breath as you enter the grand drawing room, where Lady Park sits with her daughter, Chaeyoung.

You curtsy in respect alongside Yujin, and Lady Park eyes you warily.

“We are honored you have asked us to dine with you tonight, Lady Park,” Yujin says, hands folded neatly above her stomach.

You are about to voice your agreement until a creak in the hardwood distracts you. Your eyes flutter over to the doorway to catch the sight of Jeno entering.

“Mr. Lee,” you murmur in surprise. “I did not expect to see you here.”

The familiar burn of his stare welcomes you. He bows his head and you return the favor.

He says your name, and you feel a rush travel down your spine. You have not heard him speak since the night of the dance.

“I am a guest here,” he explains simply.

Lady Park stands from her seat on the chaise lounge.

“You are familiar with my nephew?”

You digest the information, storing away the fact that Yuta never mentioned Jeno was related to Lady Park.

“Yes, I had the privilege of meeting your nephew a few months ago, ma’am.”

You hear Jeno almost scoff at the suggestion of your encounter being anything but dreadful. You clench your fists behind your back to prevent an outburst.

“And this is my cousin,” Jeno introduces, stepping aside to allow another man to come into your line of vision. He smiles and bows. “Park Jisung.”

You pay your courtesy and Lady Park instructs the group to gather in the dining room for supper. You take a spot next to Jisung and across from Yujin.

Before you can get comfortable, Lady Park scolds Yuta. “Mr. Nakamoto, you cannot sit next to your wife and only converse with her. Switch with our guest.”

You awkwardly switch places with Yuta, now sitting next to Yujin and Jeno. Your shoulder brushes by his, and he instinctively leans closer to you. Your breath hitches slightly at the proximity.

With the seating arrangements in order, you all take your seats and begin dining into the feast.

Jeno clears his throat. “Has your family been faring well?”

It takes a moment for you to register that he is speaking to you. You glance at him, only to find him engrossed in his meal.

“They have been doing well, all things considered,” you reply. You cannot help but prod him for answers. “Jimin has actually gone to stay with our aunt and uncle, close to where Mr. Na is staying. Perhaps you have seen her.”

He looks at you. “I have not had the pleasure, no.”

You purse your lips. “What a shame. I know she would be delighted to have your company.”

He hums. “Is that so? Is she the only one who would enjoy my companionship at this time?”

Your mouth hangs open in surprise at his confidence. A sliver of his true personality shows, with the corner of his lips threatening to lift.

Lady Park interrupts your exchange as she calls your name.

“Do you play the piano?”

You shake your head, trying to disregard that Lee Jeno’s character seems to be more than that of a boring nobleman. “Not very well, ma’am. I’m afraid that is a talent reserved for my youngest sister.”

“And your sisters — how many of you are out in society?”

You smile as politely as you can. “All of us, ma’am.”

Lady Park is shocked by the revelation. “All of you? All at once? The youngest being out before the oldest ones are married? Why, that is unheard of.”

“I should not think to burden my younger sisters simply because the oldest ones are not yet wed. They deserve to have their fair share of enjoyment,” you voice, ignoring her continued surprise by your candor.

“You have a lot of opinions for a girl so young and still not in charge of her own household,” Lady Park sighs. “It would do you well to hold your tongue.”

Your fingers tighten around your spoon but you’re amazed when Jeno speaks up.

“I think she is very gifted for her age, considering her family was not born in the faces of high society. I do not think playing the piano would truly showcase the talent she encompasses.”

Lady Park’s lips dissolve into a thin line at her nephew’s impudence. You swallow the jarring emotions you feel at Jeno’s blatant defense of you.

“Well, I must be carrying the customs of my time then. However, I shall hear you play a piece for us after supper.”

“Ma’am, I stress to you that I do not lie when I say I play the piano poorly-“

Yuta hisses your name across the table, throwing you a stern glance. Yujin has a pleading look painting her own features.

“She would be happy to play for you,” Yuta says firmly, with no room for argument.

You swallow your dispute, looking back down at your bowl of soup as Lady Park scolds her daughter for her poor posture. In the corner of your eye, you see Jeno’s hand twitch.

Your head raises and you catch his stare — his eyes no longer holding the small glimmer of amusement you caught earlier.

The last thing you want is for Lee Jeno to feel sorry for you, so you return to finishing your meal, brushing off his concern.

After dinner, you go back to the drawing room and hesitantly take a seat at the grand piano in the corner of the room.

Your fingers clumsily press down on the keys, playing an off-tune version of the last piece you memorized. The group continues to chatter behind you as Lady Park invites Yujin to come visit whenever she pleases. Jeno slowly approaches you and you shake your head.

“There is no need to point out my terrible sense of musical inclination, Mr. Lee. It is a flaw I’m very well acquainted with.”

“I had no intention to do so,” he replies. “And no gentleman would ever raise attention to a fault a woman believes she has, even if he disagrees with her.”

You stop playing briefly to look up at him. He’s already staring back at you, his eyes now conveying an emotion you cannot recognize. You wonder what you would find if you peeled back a few layers of his hard exterior.

Jisung draws near, his hand cupping Jeno’s shoulder with familiarity.

“You must tell me how my dear cousin behaved when he was in your town.”

You laugh under your breath. “I must disappoint you, Mr. Park, as your cousin was very indifferent during his stay. Despite the many women begging for a dance and the lack of suitors on the floor, Mr. Lee still insisted on keeping to himself and refusing to make conversation with others.”

Jisung chuckles. “Truth be told, that sounds very akin to the cousin I know. I have never seen him dance with another woman willingly.”

You pause, remembering how Jeno asked you to dance the night of Jaemin’s ball. You recall how nervous he looked when he faced you, almost as if he was jumping out of his socks.

Jeno clenches his jaw. “Well, dear cousin, I am sure you understand how difficult it is for me to gab about with people I’m not familiar with. Dances are not something I take pleasure in.”

You interject. “Even if it is a woman’s choice of love language? A way you can show her your affection?”

The corner of his mouth twitches as he catches on to what you’re referring to.

“Perhaps then, there could be an exception.”

Lady Park admonishes you for not playing as instructed and you return to the piano, paying no heed to Jeno’s presence for the rest of the evening.

—

Your hand aches as you finish writing your letter to Jimin, sealing the envelope carefully.

You are anxious by the state of your sister’s duress, as it seems Mr. Na has still not come to visit her. Jimin is growing more and more disappointed by the day, feeling as if she has burdened your family with this ridiculous adventure. You wish you could see her and tell her that she would never be a burden to you, but writing a letter is the only communication you can give to her at this time while you continue your stay with Yujin and Yuta.

Just as you place the envelope back down on the table in your room, the door swings open.

You’re startled when Jeno walks through the door, his eyes frantic.

“Mr. Lee,” you say, failing to hide the surprise in your voice as you stand.

You both pay your respects and you wait for him to explain the meaning of his visit, as it has been a week since you saw him at Lady Park’s dinner festivities. However, the words seem to be caught in his throat because he says nothing to you, opening and closing his mouth furiously.

“Mr. and Mrs. Nakamoto went to the village,” you bring up, pondering if that was the reason he was here.

“Yes,” he clears his throat, fiddling with the sleeves of his coat. “Yes, it is a nice day to go to the village.”

You nod, still trying to decipher the reason why he’s here with no notice.

“This- This is a beautiful home,” he notes, bouncing from one foot to another.

It is the most disheveled you have ever seen him.

“Yes, I think so as well. Should I fetch us some tea?”

He immediately shakes his head. “No, no.”

You sit in an unpleasant silence for another few moments before you hear the front door open, signaling Yujin and Yuta’s return.

“Have a good day,” Jeno quickly says, walking swiftly down the hallway and out the cottage, not even bothering to acknowledge Yujin’s presence when he passes by.

Yujin stares incredulously after him, eyes darting over to you.

“What on earth have you done to poor Mr. Lee?”

You shake your head, puzzled by the odd interaction.

“I have no idea.”

—

“There are many conveniences which others may supply and which we cannot procure for ourselves…”

You fight the yawn threatening to come out as Yuta drones on in his sermon. One of the downsides of staying with Yujin and Yuta was the weekly attendance at the local church, where Yuta often read verses for the people. Yujin is always enthralled by her husband’s lectures, but you do not share her level of enthusiasm.

You lean over to whisper to Jisung, who is seated next to you.

“How much longer will you be in town, Mr. Park?”

“As long as my cousin needs,” he answers. “I am at his disposal.”

You scoff, imagining exactly how many people Jeno had at his disposal.

“I wonder why he does not marry so he can bring a woman alongside him instead of dragging you,” you quip.

Jisung laughs quietly. “If he did choose a woman, she would be very lucky. Jeno is a loyal man to both friends and family alike. I heard he recently helped save a friend from an unwise marriage.”

You frown. “Who was the friend?”

“One of his closest companions, Na Jaemin.”

Your features twist into a scowl, and you spot Jeno sitting across the church. Your chest fills with an indescribable rage.

“Did he explain why?” You ask Jisung.

“There were a lot of objections to the lady. I believe her family was not considered to be the right fit for a nobleman of his status.”

You could nearly feel the steam coming out of your ears. So this was the truth — Jeno found your family completely unruly and unfit for his standards and in return, he cut off Jimin’s chance of finding love. All of the pieces click into place and you clench your fists, wondering who gave him the right to dictate the fate of your family.

As soon as the sermon ends, you find the quickest exit, refusing to wait for Yujin and Yuta. You decide you must get back to their cottage to write to Jimin, insisting she come home and end her useless pining after Jaemin.

You gasp when you realize it’s raining, the heavy downpour soaking your dress. You waste no time, running as fast as you can until the church is no longer in sight.

After a mile, you see a nearby gazebo and decide to take shelter there to catch your breath. You place a hand on your chest, staring down at the hem of your dress, which is now covered in mud and dirt.

The call of your name causes you to gasp, and you look up to find the main character of your distress.

Jeno is also completely soaked from head to toe and offers you no time to say a word. “I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past few months have been a torment. I came here with the sole purpose of seeing you and I must tell you how I am feeling. I am fighting against my family’s expectation and the inferiority of your birth because I am asking you to end my agony.”

You shake your head. “I do not understand-“

“I love you,” he confesses. You freeze, appalled by the revelation. “Most ardently. Please do me the honor by accepting my hand.”

You grit your teeth. “I apologize, Mr. Lee, for having caused you pain since our first meeting. I assure you it was not my intention.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Is this your reply?”

“Yes.”

“So it is a rejection?”

“Yes.”

He swallows. “May I ask why you are so quick to voice your refusal?”

You laugh. “Then may I ask why you think it is so brave of you to confess your love for me against your better judgment? I must be so uncouth for you to hold onto your feelings for so long instead of speaking them to me!”

“I did not mean-“

“And I am frankly horrified to think that you believe me to have no dignity that I would accept the hand in marriage of a man who has ruined the fate of my eldest sister, whom I admire with all of my heart!”

His expression falls at the mention of Jimin, and you laugh mockingly at catching his lie.

“Do you deny it, Mr. Lee? Breaking up a young couple in the height of their affection and forcing my sister to question her self-worth?”

“I do not deny it,” he replies sternly.

“What gave you the right-“

“I watched them out of respect for my friend and realized his attachment was deeper than hers,” he explains, but it only causes you to grow angrier.

“She’s shy! She has never been courted so seriously by another man before, especially not one that became so public,” you vouch for her.

He stands his ground. “Jaemin had realized she was not returning his affection with the same amount of passion-“

“Only after you suggested it!”

“I did it for his own good!”

“My sister rarely shows her true feelings to me,” you yell, and Jeno is taken aback. “You will never understand the burden an eldest sister has to face when there are no sons born to the family. You will never understand the weight on her shoulders when Mr. Nakamoto is knocking on the door, waiting to take away what little fortune your family possesses!”

He continues to defend himself. “There was a call into the character of your family and the suggestion of an advantageous marriage-“

You sneer. “How dare you assume Jimin would pursue such a thing!”

“It was not her, but your mother, on the other hand-“

You taunt him. “And what of Lee Donghyuck?”

He narrows his eyes and takes a step closer to you. “Lee Donghyuck?” He speaks the name as if someone poured acid on his tongue.

“What excuse could you possibly conjure of your behavior towards him?”

He purses his lips. “You take a great deal of interest in Donghyuck.”

“How can you defend the misfortunes you have put him in?”

He smiles mockingly. “Ah yes, I’m sure his misfortunes are vast in comparison to mine. I see that this is how you view me — a horrible villain who casts a dark shadow wherever he goes.”

“You are the one who has decided to insult the inferiority of my birth, which is beyond my own control! That arrogance and selfish disdain for the feelings of others is why I believe you are the last man in the world I would ever consider to marry!”

His expression crumbles. It is only now that you recognize how short the proximity between you two has gotten. He seems to have grasped the situation as well, eyes flickering downwards to stare at your lips. You swear that he begins to lean in before he stops himself.

You think you would let him kiss you, despite all signs pointing to it being a bad idea. The desire building in your stomach has you questioning your common sense.

There is no possible way you want Lee Jeno to kiss you, to mark you as his, to marry you in front of all those presumptuous nobles like Lady Park-

“Forgive me for taking up so much of your time.”

He turns and walks away, leaving you panting with a gaping hole in your chest.

—

Days pass before you hear from Jeno.

You contemplate returning home, but Yujin convinces you to stay for a little while longer. You write out a letter to Jimin to tell her everything, but for some reason, you never send it. You fear the gruesome picture you will paint of Jeno and consequently, Jimin’s feelings towards him. You somehow care for your sister’s approval for the rich nobleman although you turned down his proposal.

It’s another dreary night when Jeno shakes the cottage with his presence. You hear his blazing footsteps behind you but you refuse to look at him, staring at the wall in your room with your back turned to him.

He clears his throat. “I came to drop off this.”

You do not know what he has left, ignoring the miniscule part of your brain that screams at you to check.

You speculate on what he looks like — was he wearing that dreary trench coat he likes to walk around in? Was he wearing a mask of contempt at his behavior? Did he really mean what he said? Did he really love you?

“I shall not repeat the confessions that were so insulting to you, but if I may, I will address the two offenses you have laid against me,” he says.

You want to see him. You want to see if he has that stricken expression on his face, if he still has a hint of playfulness hidden in his eyes.

But when you turn around, he is gone. You would believe you had imagined him if not for the letter sitting neatly on the windowsill.

You swallow and open it, eyes scanning over his neat penmanship.

My father loved Donghyuck like a son. After his passing, my father left him a generous living, but Donghyuck made it clear that he would not be taking orders. He gambled away his living within weeks and demanded for more money from me, insisting it was what my father would have wanted. I refused, and he severed all acquaintance thereafter. He returned to us last summer in an attempt to court my sister, Jayoon, and convince her to elope with him. My sister is to inherit half of our estate. When it was made clear Donghyuck would not be receiving a penny of that inheritance, he disappeared once more. I will not try to explain the depth of Jayoon’s despair.

You gasp, eyes shuffling through the ink in disbelief. You could not comprehend the deceit and maliciousness Donghyuck possessed. The man you met was so poised and charismatic, but you suppose all the best con men were.

As for the matter of your sister and Jaemin, though the motives which governed me may to you appear insufficient, they were in the service of a friend.

Yujin’s voice pulls you out of your stupor. She enters your room, carrying a tray of your meal for the night. A worried look crosses her face at the sight of you, and that is when you realize you have started to cry. You wipe the tears falling down your cheeks.

“Are you okay?” Yujin asks, frantically coming over to you.

You hide Jeno’s letter behind your back, clutching onto it for dear life.

“I-I hardly think so.”

She lays her forehead on yours, understanding what you need.

“I believe it’s time for you to return home.”

—

“Honestly, if he passed by me in the street, I would hardly even recognize him.”

You brush off Jimin’s blatant lie and ignore the way she is combing her fingers through her hair as a nervous tick. She frowns at your faint smirk.

“It is true!” She claims, hitting your arm with mischief. “Anyway, what news comes from your visit with Mr. and Mrs. Nakamoto?”

You returned home shortly after Jeno delivered his letter. Yujin was sorrowful to see you go, but she recognized you needed to be with your family, no matter how loud and boisterous they could get. Jimin arrived a day before you, declaring her efforts worthless, much to your mother’s displeasure.

Jimin insists the experience was a pleasant one and that she learned a great many, and you would not dare refute her claims despite the numerous letters you received that say the opposite.

You smile at your sister’s question. “Nothing exciting.”

You had decided to keep the contents of Jeno’s letter for yourself, afraid to admit your blossoming feelings and ignorance at your accusations towards him. Considering Jimin is handling the loss of Jaemin better than expected, you also did not want to burden her with the truth.

The door to the drawing room bursts open and Minji comes parading through, screaming wildly.

“The heavens have truly blessed me!”

You raise an eyebrow at her as she collapses on the lounge, dress flowing across her hips in an improper fashion. Minjeong follows her into the room, looking cross with her hands folded across her chest.

“They are not sending you there because you are a suitable wife, they are sending you there because you are a disgrace to the family!”

“Minjeong!” You scold her, watching as Minji simply laughs at her sister’s insult. “What on earth are you two jabbering about?”

“Father is sending me to live with the Baek family,” Minji divulges, wiggling her feet in excitement.

Jimin stands, outraged by the information. “What? Minji, the Baek family live across town!”

“Yes, and is it not so delightful?” She giggles, ignoring you and Jimin’s worries. “There will be a handful of suitors there at my disposal!”

You and Jimin exchange a knowing glance before heading to your father’s office. He appears to be expecting your arrival, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in anticipation of your anger.

“Father, you cannot send Minji away to the Baek family,” Jimin begins.

You continue. “She will make a fool out of herself and ridicule this family! She needs to be educated properly here, at home.”

Your father sighs. “Girls, you know I have tried with your sister, but she has become too complacent for my teachings. I trust Colonel Baek and his family to educate her about becoming well-behaved.”

“Father!” Jimin yells, utterly displeased. “Minji is not some farm animal you can dispose of as you please! She is part of this family, and her careless behavior is ours to own.”

“You cannot send her away or we might lose her forever.”

Your father shakes his head. “I’m sorry, girls, but my decision has been made. Minji will live with the Baek family and we will pray for success to come her way.”

You both scoff at him, infuriated by his carelessness. You leave his office and travel to the den in the kitchen, where your aunt and uncle are quietly eating. They have decided to stay for a while after dropping off Jimin.

Your aunt calls your name with joy. “Oh, you must join us this time out to the gardens in the district. It would do you well to take in some fresh air.”

You smile politely and take a seat on the bench across from your aunt. Your mind is still whirling at the thought of Minji, all alone, faring for herself at the countryside.

“I am satisfied staying here. I just returned from a trip to see a friend.”

Your uncle waves you off. “Come with us! There are many soldiers stationed in the area and plenty of suitors for your eyes to take in.”

“I have no desire to converse with them, uncle. Men are overtaken by their own arrogance or stupidity, and it would be a waste of my time to entertain them.”

Your aunt laughs mockingly at your pessimistic declaration.

“Well, what a voice of bitterness! My dear, do not allow your opinion of one man to cloud the wonderful soldiers who could bend and worship the ground you walk on,” your aunt advises.

You shake your head in disagreement.

“Men bring nothing but heartache.”

—

Much to your chagrin, your aunt and uncle convince you to travel with them through the district.

You are slightly grateful for their coercion as the breathtaking weather allows you to take a break from your resounding problems, albeit momentarily.

You stop in the middle of the journey as one of the wheels on your carriage is starting to lose its weight, and the coachman requires you to pull over so he can fix it. You lean on one of the nearby trees as your aunt and uncle sit beside you.

“Where exactly are we?” You ask, taking a look at your surroundings, yet all that encompasses you is trees.

“I believe we are close to the Lee estate.”

Your ears perk up. “Lee Jeno?”

“Yes, that’s the fellow,” your uncle murmurs. “I heard his estate is surrounded by a great lake. I have an immense desire to see it for myself.”

“Oh, let’s not,” you immediately object.

Your aunt and uncle turn to you with a raised eyebrow, curious about your swift rejection.

You clear your throat. “I mean, he is awfully busy, I am sure. We would not want to bother him.”

“Do not fret, dear,” your aunt assures. “Great men like him are usually never home.”

You swallow down your further protests, refusing to tell your aunt and uncle the real reason why you cannot see Jeno again.

Once the carriage is fixed, you travel to the Lee estate. As many have vouched, the estate expands beyond your wildest dreams. A large lake covers the entire front yard, with more windows and doors around the house than you could ever conjure up in your mind.

One of the maidens comes out to greet you. Your aunt and uncle are eager to receive a tour and you glance around, picturing the spots where Jeno would walk through, probably dragging that awful trench coat behind him. You giggle at the thought.

“Has something caught your interest, ma’am?” The maiden asks you and you jump, quickly wiping the smile off of your face.

“Oh, no, no. I was simply wondering if Mr. Lee’s sister was home.”

She nods. “Yes, the young girl is likely wrapped up in her piano lesson. You may go search for her while I show your aunt and uncle the gardens if you wish.”

Your aunt touches your arm fondly. “Meet us back at the lodging when you are finished.”

You faintly hear the sound of the piano drift from upstairs, and you follow the noise. You drink in your sights as you go, marveling at the expensive marble columns and gold accents of the house. You ponder over the idea of Jeno choosing the decorations himself.

You finally find the door to one of the drawing rooms, and you open it by a sliver. You catch a glimpse of Jayoon’s long hair with her back turned towards you, her fingers playing a melody as if she had memorized it from birth. You gape at the young girl’s talent.

Your heart beats wildly in your chest when Jeno’s frame comes into view, tapping Jayoon on the shoulder and surprising her. She gasps and jumps into his arms, clearly not expecting his presence.

You make the mistake of moving your foot, which causes the hard flooring to creak beneath your weight. The sound alerts Jeno and his head turns to the entrance of the doorway, where he catches your eye.

You wheeze, quickly spinning around and darting back down the stairs. You must look like a clumsy oaf but you do not care, trying your best at getting as far from the estate as possible. You manage to find yourself outside, but before you can descend down the back entryway, you hear Jeno calling your name.

You squeeze your eyes shut momentarily before slowly facing him.

“I-I apologize, I thought you were out of town.”

He swallows, his once confident stare now filled with nothing but anxiety.

“I came home a day early,” he explains.

He’s wearing that long trench coat again. You wonder if he ever takes it off.

“We wouldn’t have come if we had known you were here-“

“I had some business with my steward-“

You both pause when you realize you’re speaking over one another. His eyes soften at the sight of you.

You avoid his gaze.

“I’m visiting with my aunt and uncle.”

He nods. “And are you having a pleasant trip?”

You blink nervously. “Yes. Tomorrow we are heading to the district before going back home.”

“Tomorrow?” You swear you hear the disappointment in his voice, but it could be a figment of your imagination. “Are you staying nearby?”

You nod and tell him where you’ll be lodging. You place your hand over your chest in an attempt to control your frenzied heartbeat.

“I apologize again for intruding. They said the house was open for visitors and I had no idea you would be home-“

“You’re always welcome here,” he says, his voice filled with honesty. Goosebumps rise on your arms at his frank statement. “Shall I see you into town?”

“No, no,” you object, taking a step back. “I would much prefer to walk. I like to do that — to walk.”

You want to hit yourself over the head. You sound foolish.

Jeno just smiles, laughing to himself. You do not think you have ever seen him this way. Your stomach erupts with butterflies at the sight of his handsome grin.

“Yes, I’m well acquainted with that fact.”

You stare down at your feet, recalling the day you had run nearly three miles in the rain instead of waiting for Yujin and Yuta’s carriage. You’re curious if Jeno had to also run that far just to catch you. Did he catch a cold?

“I shall see myself off then. Goodbye, Mr. Lee.”

You curtsy, refusing to take another glance at him before fleeing the grounds of the estate.

You think about him on your walk back into the village. You envision him as a child, running through the gardens and playing games with the staff. You smile at the thought.

When you find the inn you’ll be staying at for the night, you inform your aunt and uncle of your return before slipping into your room. You decide to freshen up before supper, ridding your mind of any thoughts related to Jeno. You remind yourself that you will likely not see him again, so any of these confusing feelings that are rising need to be squashed.

Your aunt and uncle, however, have a different idea when you join them downstairs.

“My dear, Mr. Lee was just here!”

“What?”

“Yes!” Your uncle is overjoyed. “He invited us to dine with him tomorrow. You don’t mind delaying our journey another day, do you?”

“I-I suppose not.”

An ominous shiver runs down your spine.

—

A lively tune greets you at the Lee estate.

You pause when you see Jayoon playing at the keys with Jeno standing beside the piano to hear her. She stops when she sees you enter the drawing room, jumping up and running over to curtsy before you. She says your name with clear fondness.

You smile and return the curtsy, a little startled by her warmth towards you.

“My sister, Jayoon,” Jeno introduces, walking over. Your breath hitches at his presence.

“My brother has told me so much about you,” Jayoon beams. Your eyes flit to Jeno’s frame, and his head is bowed slightly in embarrassment. “I feel as if we are friends already.”

“It is an honor to finally meet you,” you say. “You play the piano beautifully.”

She bashfully stares down at her feet. “You flatter me so. My brother tells me you’re an exceptional player as well.”

You laugh. “Then he has uttered the most ridiculous lie.”

Jeno chuckles, staring yearningly at you.

“To be fair, I said you were a good player.”

“Ah, well good is not quite exceptional, now is it?”

He smiles at your jest. You both fail to notice how long you have been gazing at one another until Jayoon clears her throat. You divert your eyes and Jeno ignores how red his ears have gotten.

He addresses your aunt and uncle, who are standing behind you.

“I have heard your uncle is fond of fishing.”

“Yes, very much so,” your uncle replies with elation.

“I would be honored if you joined me out on the lake today,” Jeno invites, and your uncle nearly jumps for joy.

“And what about you?” Jayoon asks. “Do you play duets on the piano?”

You chuckle. “Not if I can help it.”

“Oh, brother, you must make her!” Jayoon says playfully.

Jeno looks at you. “She has quite the independent mind, dear sister. I am afraid I cannot make her do anything she does not wish.”

You do not return his stare, fearing you’ll get lost in his eyes.

Jeno and your uncle head to the lake to begin their fishing session while you and your aunt stay with Jayoon to chat and play the piano. You’re in the midst of drinking tea when Jayoon says something that nearly causes you to choke.

“My brother talks of you quite a lot,” Jayoon reveals with a knowing smile. Your aunt’s eyebrow ticks up. “He says you are different from the noblewomen we usually conversate with.”

“Yes, that sounds like something he would say,” you murmur, refusing to peer over at your aunt, who you know has a million questions to bombard you with. “I do not believe your brother chats with many noblewomen to begin with.”

Jayoon giggles. “You would fare on the correct side in relation to that guess. I have desired for him to find a lifelong partner but there has been no one who has peaked his interest until recently.”

You fiddle with your teacup, ignoring Jayoon’s smirk.

Your aunt’s puzzled tone speaks first. “How long has Mr. Lee been acquainted with my niece?”

“A few months only,” you answer before Jayoon can say something else that would embarrass you. “We met when Mr. Na first came into town.”

“Ah yes,” your aunt sighs, very familiar with Jaemin considering Jimin stayed in her home for weeks to capture his attention. “Does Mr. Na come to visit here often, Jayoon?”

She shakes her head. “Not as much lately. I believe he has been preoccupied for most of the season.”

Your aunt grumbles under her breath. You’re pleased by her disdain for Jaemin, understanding how tough this time has been for Jimin.

A maiden suddenly knocks on the door and Jayoon instructs her to enter. She says she has a letter for you and you furrow your eyebrows, taking the envelope from her hands. You recognize Jimin’s handwriting and rip open the letter immediately.

You gasp when you read its contents, placing Jayoon and your aunt on high alert.

“What is it, dear? What’s happened?”

You clutch your chest, heaving. “W-We must return home! At once!”

The two women try to stop you but you sprint out of the house and onto the lake, calling for your uncle with the most desperate voice you can muster. Jeno spots you first, quickly dropping his fishing rod and rushing over to you.

“What’s wrong? Are you injured?”

He clutches your elbows, scanning your figure for any visible wounds. You cannot stop the tears flowing down your face, your mind too overtaken with fear to think about how close Jeno is.

“It’s Minji,” you cry. “S-She has run away! With Lee Donghyuck!”

You crumble and he wraps his arms around you. Your uncle hurriedly comes to your side.

“What? When has this happened?”

“I do not know,” you choke back on your tears as Jeno gently wipes them away. “They do not know where she has gone! She has no money, no connections, no future!”

“This is my fault,” Jeno whispers. “I should have exposed Donghyuck.”

Your uncle gently takes the letter from your fingers, reading the words for himself. You hear Jayoon and your aunt approach, catching their breath from chasing you.

“What is it? What has her so enervated?” Your aunt questions.

Your uncle relays the message, including the part where your father has gone to the Baek family to search for Minji.

Jeno strokes your hair in comfort and you knock back your better judgment, digging your face into the collar of his trench coat.

“We must find Minji as soon as we can,” your aunt gasps. “If the news gets out, the family will be ruined!”

“I will fix it,” Jeno says with conviction.

You shake your head. “You can’t. This is my fault — I should have told my family the truth about Donghyuck or this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Do not blame yourself,” Jeno hisses, cupping his hands over your cheeks and forcing you to look at him. His eyes are filled with steadfast determination. “We will get this sorted.”

“I shall join your father in his search for Minji,” your uncle declares. “Mr. Lee, I ask for your favor in borrowing one of your carriages.”

“Of course,” Jeno agrees. “Jayoon, please show him the way.”

Jayoon casts another glance at you embraced in Jeno’s arms before guiding your uncle away.

“I will ask for our carriage to be prepared to take you home,” your aunt says, also leaving the two of you.

You sniffle, feeling shameful by your appearance in front of Jeno. He stares at you in distress.

“I apologize for my behavior-“

“I wish you would cease asking forgiveness in front of me. You never have to.”

Your breath hitches at his candor. Your bodies are as close to one another as the rainy day he first confessed to you. If you tilt your head forward a few inches, you could plant a kiss on his lips.

You compose yourself and take a step back.

“Mr. Lee, I-I should go.”

“Yes, yes,” he mumbles, clearly taken aback by his own actions. “I hope your family can remedy the situation.”

You turn to leave but he stutters out a request.

“And please, take care of yourself.”

You glance back at him, eyes welled with tears.

“You as well, Mr. Lee.”

—

When you return home, your mother is bedridden and wailing.

You and Jimin gather around her bed as she sobs. “Oh, what shall we do? You are all ruined. Who will wed you now with a fallen sister? And now your poor father will have to go off and fight Lee Donghyuck!”

You and Jimin exchange a glance. Jimin clears her throat.

“Father hasn’t even found Mr. Lee yet, mother.”

Your mother ignores her and continues. “And then Mr. Nakamoto will turn us out when your father is killed! Oh, Minji must know what this will do for my nerves. How can she vex her poor mother like this?”

You decide to head downstairs, agreeing that your mother’s avid concerns would not be subdued any time soon. You frown when you see Minjeong in the kitchen, holding a letter in her hands.

“What have you got there?”

Jimin snatches it out of Minjeong’s grasp and scans it herself. “It’s addressed to father. It’s in uncle’s writing.”

You hear the familiar sound of the carriage pulling up and you all dart outside, frantically waving the letter around.

“Father! Father!”

He groans, taking a step out of the carriage. “Let me get my bearings first.”

“It’s a letter for you! From uncle!” You say, thrusting it into his hands.

He opens it as he walks back to the house, dismissing your frantic jumping to read the contents.

“Well?” Minjeong says impatiently. “What does it say?”

“He’s found them.”

Jimin gasps. “Are they married?”

He squints. “I cannot make out the script-“

You seize it and read it for yourself. Jimin and Minjeong lurk over your shoulder.

“Are they married?” Jimin asks again.

You sigh. “They will be, under the condition that father pays Lee Donghyuck a small sum for Minji per year.”

Minjeong scoffs. “A small sum! How barbaric!”

“Well? Will you pay it, father?” Jimin questions. Minjeong takes the letter from you to read it again.

“Of course I will agree. The matter of the question is how much your uncle has already laid on this wretched man,” your father exhales, walking back into the house sluggishly.

You turn to Jimin. “What does he mean?”

She shrugs. “Uncle must have threatened Mr. Lee wickedly. For the situation, with the three of us still unmarried and the family’s reputation hanging by a thread, Mr. Lee would be foolish to only settle for a small sum.”

You scowl. “Heaven forbid the day we have to welcome that wretched man into the family.”

The day comes sooner than you think. Minji and Donghyuck arrive a few weeks later, with Minji beaming at her newfound status as a married woman. You roll your eyes at her airy nature at the dinner table.

“You must all visit the Baek family soon. That is the place to get husbands! I hope you have half of my good luck.”

“Good luck?” Minjeong scoffs. “You nearly ruined our family!”

Your mother scolds Minjeong for her outburst before turning to Minji with a smile.

“I want to hear every detail, my darling Minji.”

You and Jimin chuckle at your mother’s quick change in heart. She was out of bed and celebrating as soon as you told her the news of Minji getting married.

You exchange a look with Donghyuck across the table, and he appears remorseful. You mock him and laugh.

Minji rattles off the story about the last few weeks with Donghyuck and their wedding. You tell her you do not want to hear it but she ignores you.

“I wondered if my dear Donghyuck would be married in his blue coat, as I love the way he looks in it. And of course, because of the quick ceremony, I worried that uncle would not make it in time to be the best man. Luckily, he arrived on time or else I would’ve had to ask Mr. Lee Jeno but I don’t really like that man.”

You pause. “Lee Jeno?”

Minji gasps and covers her mouth, making sure no one else at the table heard her slip up. “Oh heavens, I forgot. I should not have said a word.”

You prod her further. “Mr. Lee was at your wedding?”

She lowers her voice into a whisper, and you realize she cannot help herself in dishing out the truth.

“He was the one who discovered us. He paid for everything — the wedding ceremony, Donghyuck’s sum, all of my new dresses, everything!” Her elated expression turns serious. “But do not say a word to anyone! He told me not to tell.”

You’re astounded by the secret. “M-Mr. Lee?” You clarify for your own sanity.

She shoots you a sour look. “Quit it!”

You sit back in your chair, feeling as if you need to catch your breath. You cannot believe Jeno went out of his way to save Minji and fix her horrid nuptials to Donghyuck. It’s no wonder that Donghyuck only asked for a small sum from your father as Jeno must have paid the rest.

You digest the information, wondering how it was possible for a man like Lee Jeno to exist and how it was possible that he so clearly loved a girl like you.

—

You hear rumors of Jaemin’s return to town, pushing Jimin to a state of disarray. She insists she does not care about his arrival, but when a local butcher tells you that he comes without a woman by his side, her interest is clearly piqued. You attempt to convince her to locate him, but she still persists she does not care about the origin of his visit.

You are lounging in the drawing room when Minjeong comes bursting through the door.

“He is here! Mr. Na is here!”

Her announcement sends the room into a frenzy, with your mother gasping and shooting out of her chair, nearly tripping over the furniture. Jimin is on her feet, combing her fingers through her hair and straightening her dress. You flee to the window, shocked when you see not only Jaemin approaching, but Jeno walking right beside him.

“Act natural, girls!” Your mother shouts, struggling to stand.

You quickly draw back from the window, hand over your heart. You are not thoroughly prepared to face Jeno again, especially now knowing how far he has gone to ensure your family wasn’t laid to ruin.

Your mother pushes Minjeong down into a seat and shoves some fabric into her hands to make it appear like she’s been embroidering. Jimin cries at you in despair and you help her tie a ribbon around her waist and brush her hair.

Your mother throws you a book and you all hurriedly sit in different areas of the room, looking as natural as you possibly can.

There is a knock on the door before one of your handmaidens enters.

“Mr. Na and Mr. Lee,” she introduces, stepping aside so the men can set foot in.

You all stand, curtsying as they bow. You beg your heart rate to stop thumping in your ears.

Jeno looks so attractive that it makes you want to curl into yourself and scream. He avoids your gaze, and you contemplate if he no longer wants to be with you because of Minji’s incident.

Jaemin opens his mouth to speak, but your mother beats him to it.

“How glad we are to see you again, Mr. Na! I am sure you have heard of my youngest getting married while you were away. We are very proud of her accomplishments.”

Jaemin smiles politely. “Yes, I heard the great news. I offer my congratulations.”

His eyes drift to Jimin’s form, and you see your sister smile timidly at him.

Your mother continues. “It is a shame that Mr. Lee Donghyuck lives so far. Having my youngest taken away at such an early age is no easy feat.”

You interrupt her, hoping to salvage the conversation for Jimin’s sake.

“How long are you in town for, Mr. Na?”

“Just a few weeks for the hunt.”

You forget that now is the best time for hunting season, and many men in town partake in the activity. Your eyes flit once again to Jeno’s form, and you catch him staring at you briefly before he looks away. The butterflies in your stomach will surely make you ill.

“Oh, Mr. Na, you must come here once you get bored of the game in town. My husband would love to oblige you,” your mother invites.

Jaemin’s smile never wavers. “Yes, that sounds splendid. Thank you.”

“How are you, Mr. Lee?” You ask.

You cannot help yourself. You have dreamed about him since you left the estate and he has to take accountability for your sleepless nights.

He momentarily glances at you. “I’m quite well, thank you.”

“I hope the weather is favorable when you go hunting,” you say.

He nods. “I return home tomorrow. I will not be participating in this year’s hunt.”

Your heart drops. “So soon?”

He refuses to look at you again.

“My Jimin looks beautiful, does she not?” Your mother questions Jaemin.

He stutters. “O-Oh yes, she does indeed.”

The room is filled with silence, and while you’re pleading for Jeno to look at you, Jimin is desperately wanting Jaemin to say more.

Jaemin swallows before clearing his throat. “W-Well, we must be going, I think. It was lovely to see you all again.”

“You must come visit,” your mother reminds him. “You promised last time you were in town that you would attend a family dinner.”

Jaemin awkwardly nods before scurrying out of the house. Jeno lingers, looking disappointed.

He bows his head. “Excuse me.”

The request for him to stay lays on the tip of your tongue but he exits before you can ask.

Once the two men are gone, you all collapse back in your seats. You rush to Jimin’s side as your mother voices, “How unusual!”

Your sister seems as optimistic as ever, despite the gloomy look in her eye.

“Perhaps that was for the best,” she hollowly laughs. “Now I will not have to go to bed wondering about my fate. He’s clearly moved on and is no longer interested.”

“Jimin,” you sigh, placing a hand over hers. “You do not have to fabricate your feelings to me. I may also be hiding some truths that I am not content with.”

Her head whips around. “Like what?”

Before you can finally tell her your secret, Minjeong’s voice screeches.

“He is back!”

“What?” Your mother screams, flinging her body at the window.

You catch the billowing of Jaemin’s coat before you’re being hauled up again by your mother. Jaemin enters the room in a more uncoordinated fashion, not even alerting the handmaiden so she can announce his presence. His hair is sticking up in random directions, indicating he was likely running his hands through it nervously.

“I apologize for my abrupt actions, but I would like to request an audience with Jimin if I may.”

All of your mouths drop open. Your mother speaks first.

“Everyone into the kitchen,” she instructs, and you nearly trip when she pushes you forward.

You grab Minjeong’s wrist and tug her with you. Your mother closes the door behind her and all three of you immediately press your ears against it to listen in.

“First, I must tell you that I have been a halfwitted and reckless fool,” you hear Jaemin start to say. You scoff, internally agreeing with him. Minjeong elbows you to be quiet. “And second, I want to atone for the months I have been away. My fair Jimin, I will wrong you no further. Would you do me the honor of accepting my hand in marriage?”

You all gasp.

Moments pass before Jimin’s shaky voice replies, “Yes, a thousand times yes!”

Your mother bursts open the door and screeches in delight.

“My heavens, I never believed the day would come!”

You hurry in to envelope Jimin in a hug and congratulate her. The embrace gives you a direct view of the window, where a stony Lee Jeno stands in a far distance. You hold your breath, hoping he would come inside as well and give his own second version of a proposal. You would not hesitate to accept this time.

However, he merely situates himself there for a few seconds longer before turning away and leaving. You shut your eyes, quelling the ache in your chest and pulling Jimin closer to congratulate her once again.

—

That night, you giggle as you lay in bed with your sister.

“A spring wedding!” She exclaims, and your heart is full at the sight of her happiness. “Oh, he just looked so nervous but he had no idea how my heart was pounding out of my chest, sister. I wish for you to be this happy one day.”

Unlike the way Minji declared it to demean you, Jimin says it with pure virtue.

You fake a smile, thinking about how you screwed up your chances of ever being with Jeno.

“Maybe Mr. Nakamoto has a friend.”

She bursts into laughter at your joke and you pretend to share her joy. Your satisfaction, however, is broken by the sound of a carriage pulling up outside.

You frown. “Do you hear that?”

It was already well past midnight, so if a visitor was approaching, it must have been with urgent news. You and Jimin hop out of bed and rush downstairs, where the rest of your family is also starting to gather.

There’s a knock at the door and your father wobbles over to answer it.

You gasp when you see who is behind it.

“L-Lady Park?”

The woman shuffles in haggardly, and you all curtsy and bow at her presence. She looks disturbed, mouth twisted into an angry frown.

Your father awkwardly talks first. “May I offer you a cup of tea, madam?”

“Absolutely not. I need to speak with your second oldest alone.”

All eyes turn to you. You swallow and step forward, gesturing to the drawing room and leading Lady Park inside. You shut the door, placing a candle on a nearby table to provide you some semblance of sight.

Your palms sweat at the thought of what Lady Park had to confront you with. Perhaps you should not have messed around with Jimin — maybe Lady Park really was here to marry you off to one of Mr. Nakamoto’s friends.

“I am sure you are not puzzled by the reasoning behind my visit.”

You blink. “You are mistaken, ma’am. I cannot conjure up why you have honored my family here tonight by your presence.”

She scowls. “I warn you, dear girl, I am not one to be trifled with. A message has reached me that my nephew, Mr. Lee, has intended to unite you in the union of marriage.” You freeze, your mind running through a myriad of scenarios. “I know this to be a scandalous falsehood, so I instantly traveled here to make my sentiments known.”

You narrow your eyes at her degrading tone. “If you had thought the rumor so impossible, I ponder why you decided to travel so far.”

She steps forward, her scowl transforming into an expression filled with more hatred.

“I came to hear it be contradicted.”

“Your appearance will only serve as a confirmation if indeed such a report exists,” you say.

“If?” She spits out bitterly. “Are you meaning to pretend to not know of it? Were you not the one who started such a malicious lie to bring down the reputation of my dear nephew?”

“I have never heard of it!” You defend yourself.

“So my nephew has not made you an offer of marriage?”

You raise your head high. “You are the one who has declared such a thing to be impossible.”

You can practically see her shake with rage. “Mr. Lee has been engaged to my daughter since their infancy. Now what have you to say?”

“If that is the case, then there is no reason Mr. Lee would make an offer to me.”

“You listen to me, you selfish girl — if you think a woman of inferior birth with a scandalous sister who married the first suitor she came across can come in and tarnish Mr. Lee’s reputation, I will surely prove you wrong. Now tell me the truth, are you engaged to him?”

You contain yourself. “I am not.”

“And do you promise to never enter such an engagement?”

You put your foot down. You refuse to allow this woman to come into your home, insult you, and forbid you from marrying the man you know you yearn for.

“I shall never promise such a thing. You have traveled here in the dead of night to offend me in every possible way and I will tolerate it no longer. I must ask you to leave.”

You swing open the door, exposing your entire family on the opposite side of it, who were likely listening in on your ordeal. Lady Park gives you one last glance, and if looks could kill, you would be six feet underground.

“I have never been so disrespected in my entire life!” Lady Park declares before taking her leave, shutting the front door with great force.

“My dear, what is going on?”

“Why does she think something is happening between you and Mr. Lee?”

“Did Mr. Lee propose to you?”

You flee from your family’s questioning, running up the stairs with tears in your eyes.

“For once in your life, leave me alone!”

—

It is the break of dawn when you decide to take a walk.

You could not sleep all night. Jimin slipped into your bed at one point and comforted you wordlessly, wrapping her arms around you. You thought about Jeno and Lady Park’s scornful words. If you had a little less dignity, you would have told her how her nephew proposed to you but in all your stupidity, you denied him. She would probably get a laugh out of that.

You stare down at your feet, kicking around the patches of weeds childishly. Your breath hitches when another pair of shoes land before you.

You raise your head to see Lee Jeno standing there in all of his glory.

You say the first thing that comes to mind.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Nor I.”

You nod, pulling your jacket tighter around your shoulders. “Your aunt was here-“

“I should make amends for such insolent behavior.”

You shake your head. “After everything you have done to save Minji and I suspect to help Jimin, I should be the one apologizing for my behavior.”

“I told you that you never have to apologize to me, didn’t I? You must know I did all of it for you.” He says, smiling. You wonder if you could ever be this infatuated with another human being. “I came here because I beg you not to trifle with me. My aunt’s visit has provided me hope — a feeling I thought had disappeared months ago. I plead with you to tell me if your affections have changed.”

He takes a step closer to you. His eyes melt with a familiar fondness.

“If they have changed, I must tell you that you have bewitched me, body and soul. I love you, and I wish to never be parted from you from this day forth.”

You can no longer hold back your grin. You close the distance, gently tugging on the lapels of his dreary trench coat. You press your lips to his and his control officially snaps, one hand wrapping around your middle and tugging you closer. He kisses you with fervor, as if it is the last thing on earth he will ever get to do.

You giggle and pull back to catch your breath.

“Tell me, please,” he whispers with desperation. “I can bear it no longer.”

“I love you,” you say, stroking your fingers through his hair. “I love, love, love you.”

He kisses you again, hand traveling to the back of your neck and pulling you as close as humanly possible. He kisses you like he is afraid that you will slip out of his grasp. Warmth pools at the bottom of your stomach at his obvious desire.

“W-We should speak to my father,” you pant against his mouth.

“Yes, yes,” he agrees, catching his own breath. “A spring wedding? Or we could get married now, I have no objection-“

You giggle. “Mr. Lee, don’t get too ahead of yourself.”

“I cannot help it. I have waited too long for you to be in my embrace.”

“Then we shall not wait a second longer.”

—

You marry Lee Jeno on a beautiful day in spring.

The ceremony is simple at your request, and your mother cries when you walk down the aisle. Yujin sobs when she sees you in a veil, joyful that you have finally found your happy ending.

Your father was initially confused when you came to his office hand in hand with your betrothed until you explained to him the true nature of your feelings and all of the actions Jeno had taken to save your family. Jimin and Minjeong demanded to know all of the details you kept from them, and Minji even traveled into town to also hear your side of events.

Jeno has the wedding planned faster than you can blink, stressing that he cannot endure another day without you as his wife.

You have awoken something primal in him, and it shows on your wedding night.

He nearly breaks open the bedroom door as he pushes you in, shutting it loudly and practically throwing you on the bed. You laugh when he hovers over you, pressing kisses down your neck.

“Jeno, Jeno,” you hum, smiling as he tugs your wedding dress up. “Slow down, my love.”

“I want to taste you,” he groans against your collarbone.

His deep voice sends a shiver down your spine. You have only heard stories about what happens between a husband and his wife in their bedroom. They were usually filled with salacious recountings from many of the schoolgirls around you growing up. You honestly have no idea what you’re in for tonight, but all you know is that you would let Jeno take you at his heart’s desire.

“Too many buttons,” he grumbles against your chest, and you gasp when he rips your dress clean down the middle.

“Jeno!” You begin to scold but it turns into a moan when his lips latch onto your left breast, tongue flicking at your nipple lewdly.

“You’re mine, are you not? My wife, my forever,” he mumbles, kissing down your stomach until he is face to face with your core.

You tense at the sight of him being so close to an intimate part of your body. He senses your nerves, looking up at you and interlacing his hands with yours.

“It is quite alright, Mrs. Lee,” he smirks at your new surname. “You can trust me.”

You take a deep breath and relax. “I trust you.”

The first swipe of his tongue against your core takes your breath away. Your spine arches at the exhilarating feeling. He moves your hand until it is resting on his hair, urging you to pull at the strands as you please.

He laps at your folds eagerly, lips mouthing over you passionately. You cry when he suddenly takes your clit in his mouth and sucks hard.

He unlocks a new type of pleasure you never believed was possible — tremors running down your body as you chase the high. You fail to realize your hips are moving on their own accord, twisting and riding his face.

When the pleasure begins to subside, Jeno pulls away and lets you catch your breath.

“What was that?” You wheeze.

He chuckles, hoisting himself up to kiss you. He trails kisses across your cheek.

“Did it feel good, my pearl?”

“I-I need to feel that again.”

His laughter is like music to your ears. He nuzzles his face into your neck.

“Would you like me to show you how much better I can make you feel?”

You nod and he raises his head to see you. “I love you,” he murmurs, leaning forward to kiss you again.

Since the day you confessed your feelings, he hasn’t failed to remind you of his love nearly every hour of every day.

“When this is over, will I bear your child?” You ask, genuinely curious about the answer.

He strokes your hair gently. “Is that something you want?”

You laugh and bob your head. “Of course. We simply cannot live in this grand house by ourselves. I fear I will go hysterical.”

“Then we will have as many children as you like, Mrs. Lee.”

He begins to undress and you eye him as respectfully as you can. You wish you had known Jeno was hiding his muscular glory underneath those boring trench coats. You likely would not have rejected him the first time if you were made aware.

“Please resist drooling.”

You narrow your eyes playfully. “You’re my husband. I may drool as I please.”

He grins and throws his coat and shirt to the side, slowly unbuttoning his pants. Your mouth waters when he finally takes off his undergarments.

His cock is beautiful, if you’re even allowed to say that. Pretty and pink and long. A bit of liquid leaks from the tip and you suddenly get a craving to taste it.

“We have all the time for you to do that later. I want to show you a good time now,” he says as if he can read your mind.

You smile and pull him close, pressing your lips together. You watch as he gives his cock a few tugs before lining it up to your entrance.

“This may hurt at first, but I promise it will feel satisfactory if you loosen your body,” he says, ensuring that you are listening carefully.

You nod, happy twinkle never disappearing from your eyes.

“I trust you.”

The first thrust is painful. You exhale, focusing on not tensing up your body too much as Jeno instructed. He soothes you, fingers running up and down your sides lightly.

“You are so perfect for me,” he hums. “I should have married you sooner.”

When he’s finally all the way inside, you take a deep breath. He rests his forehead on yours.

“Good?”

You stroke his cheek fondly. “Good, my love.”

He rolls his hips into yours and you groan. He picks up a steady beat until the furrow in your brow vanishes. A wave of pleasure shoots up your spine and you gasp, triggering Jeno to pick up his pace.

He grips the headboard tightly between his fingers, planting his knees on the mattress before driving into you.

“O-Oh!” You moan, not anticipating how intoxicating this would feel.

You raise your hips and subconsciously move to meet his thrusts. He groans at your effort, slowly losing it at how tight you feel around him.

“Here,” he says, moving one hand downwards to pinch your clit and roll it between his fingers.

“Ungh,” you wail, throwing your head back. “That’s so good, Jeno. Keep going.”

Vulgar sounds fill the bedroom with skin slapping skin and your moans mixed with his grunts. You probably look maniacal with the way you’re desperately chasing your high, but you have no care in the world right now.

Your mind is merely screaming Jeno’s name.

He collapses back on you, kissing you with an intensity you could not describe. You swear you see stars explode behind your eyes.

“May I try something?” He pants into your mouth.

You agree and he withdraws himself from you, nearly causing you to whimper at the loss. He grabs your hips and twists you around, taking off the scraps of your dress and flinging it to the floor. His hand pushes down your head and arches your back. You turn your head to the side and moan.

“Please, Jeno, please-“

He eases himself back inside, answering your pleas.

He breathes heavily, squeezing his eyes shut. “You are torturing me beyond no end.”

This position hits a different spot inside of you. You mewl, clawing at the sheets. You have never felt closer to Jeno until this moment with the way his cock fits so perfectly inside of you.

He leans down to press kisses to your shoulders.

“May I use you as I wish?”

The question almost has you whining.

“Whatever you like, my love. Please, use me for your pleasure.”

He drills into you, forcing his cock into your dripping hole until you weep for him. You bury your face into his pillow, preventing your screams from growing too loud when you ultimately fall into your second climax. It hits a lot harder than the first, especially since Jeno shows no signs of stopping.

You cry when he changes positions again, falling to his side and moving you to do the same, hiking up your leg until it’s wrapped around his hip. He angles himself so that he hits you deeper.

You wonder if you look like a woman vexed, completely overtaken by lust. He pounds into you to coax your third orgasm to come to bay.

You beg for him, unsure of what you’re pleading for.

“Please, please, please-“

His hand strikes at your clit, slapping it with an unexpected force. You dive headfirst into your peak, crying and whimpering until your throat is sore.

Your body tries to squirm away from Jeno’s sharp thrusts but he doesn’t let you, holding you down and turning you so that your stomach presses against the mattress again.

His cock beats into your soaking cunt before he reaches his own high, groaning loudly as he spills his seed deep into you. It is only then that he finally slows down, collapsing onto the bed and pulling you into his arms.

You both pant, trying to catch your breath as his cum leaks down your thighs.

“So we can do that all the time now?” You huff.

He laughs and kisses your forehead.

“Whenever you would like, Mrs. Lee.”

Not gonna lie, the god or the girl wasn’t wrong about the existence of myul mang in dong kyung’s life or just his existence in general. he did ruin or has taken many good things in her life which brings her to the way she is right now but what the god or the girl failed to grasp is even myul mang deserves to be love; his whole existence is something he does not like nor does he want. to put him in his place does not simply have to indicate that he has to see what miserableness he has caused. but dong kyung sees through all his acts, there is just a small lost boy in him that is waiting to be guided or loved, she loves that small purity in him. i think that’s the difference between the god and dong kyung.

it’s beautiful on how the show portray two point of views for myul mang but love burns hotter if it has more risks; and dong kyung risked it because she knew he would come (which pls that’s wrong. why does she do stuff like this) and that aside, i have mentioned how relatable the character dong kyung is for me because when you are sad or miserable in your own life, you tend to forget the people around you who is always there for you or is trying their best to make you feel better. so sometimes drowning yourself in your own sadness shouldn’t blind the love people have for you.

it’s a beautiful show, yes it’s cruel but it has it’s perk. + lol so much pain and it’s only episode 7

i’m soft. this was so cute

looking out for you — psh

bf!sunghoon x gf!reader

warnings: established relationship, reader is sick, medicines (?), hoon calls reader pretty, low cases work, not proofread & if more lmk !!!

wc: 926ish?

synopsis: even when sick, you have to make sure you get your cuddles later

a/n: im sick. i need sunghoon to take care of me. that’s it. feedbacks are appreciated:( not mean ones though i can take constructive criticism but u can be nice about it lol xoxo

“c’mon, yn. i’m not playing, take your medicine,” sunghoon urges, his voice softened by a mixture of concern and frustration.

you burrow deeper under the blankets, a feeble attempt to shield yourself from the world, and more specifically, from sunghoon’s persistence. you’ve been sick before, countless times in fact, due to your not-so-strong immune system. to you, this feels no different from all those other times — a minor inconvenience that would pass with time. however, sunghoon sees things differently.

the moment you didn’t show up to his hockey practice, something you do religiously, sunghoon knew something was amiss. you had never missed a practice, not even when you had exams or pressing assignments. so, when the practice ended and there was still no sign of you, he didn’t waste a second as he drove over to your apartment, his mind racing with possibilities and heart pounding with worry.

when he let himself into your place, his concerns were confirmed. there you were, curled up in your bed, your face flushed with fever, shivering slightly despite the layers of blankets piled on top of you. his heart ached at the sight, and he immediately set into action.

he made his way to your bathroom, rummaging through the cabinets until he found a towel. after running it under cold water, he wrung it out and gently placed it on your forehead, hoping to cool you down. the feeling of the cold fabric against your hot skin made you stir, but you didn’t wake up. he watched you with a pained expression, wishing he could take away your discomfort, wishing you had called him earlier.

now, with the medicine in hand, sunghoon is trying his best to coax you out from under the covers. his hand rests on the blanket that was wrapped tightly around you, as if it could protect you from more than just the chill in the air.

“yn, please,” he says, his voice dropping to a whisper. “i’m looking out for you, please, i just want you to feel better.”

you peek out from under the blanket, your eyes meeting his. the worry etched into his face makes your heart clench. you know he only wants to help, but the thought of swallowing the bitter medicine makes you grimace.

“ i don’t like the taste,” you murmur, your voice hoarse and weak.

sunghoon let out a soft chuckle, though it was tinged with sadness. “i know, pretty, i know. but it’ll help, i promise.”

he kneels down beside your bed, his hand reaching out to brush a few strands of hair away from your face. his touch is gentle, almost as if he was afraid of hurting you, and you couldn’t help but lean into it. the warmth of his hand was comforting, grounding you in a way that made you feel safe despite how awful you felt.

“you’re burning up, yn,” he says softly. “I’m really worried about you.”

you could see the concern in his eyes, the way his brow furrowed and the corners of his mouth turned down slightly. it makes you feel guilty for making him worry so much. you know he was right, that you had to take the medicine, but the stubborn part of you didn’t want to give in so easily.

sunghoon’s thumb traced small circles on your cheek, his eyes never leaving yours. “do it for me, please? just this once?”

you sigh, feeling a little more willing to give in, but you can’t resist asking, “promise me cuddles later? once i’m feeling better… i don’t want you getting sick as well.”

sunghoon expression softens even more, if that’s possible and a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “i promise,” he says, his voice tender. “as soon as you’re better, i’ll cuddle you all you want.”

you sigh, finally relenting as you reach out a hand from under the blanket, allowing him to place the medicine in your palm. he hands you a glass of water, watching carefully as you swallow the pill with a wince.

“there,” he said softly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

you shake your head slightly, the medicine already beginning to settle in your stomach. you still feel awful, but knowing that sunghoon is here, taking care of you and promised you cuddles later, made it a little more bearable.

he tucks you back into bed, making sure the blankets are snug around you. as he sits beside you, his hand gently stroking your hair, you can feel the warmth of his care wrapping around you like another layer of blankets. even in your feverish state, you know you’re in the good hands of your boyfriend.

“get some rest,” he murmurs, his voice low and soothing. “i’m not going anywhere.”

you let out a small giggle and look up at him, “you should change your career, doctor park… on second thought, maybe not.. it’d mean others can see how sweet you are and trick you into giving them cuddles.”

sunghoon smiles softly and meets your gaze. he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead and whispers “these cuddles are reserved only for you.”

you feel your heart flutter and smile faintly, your eyes already beginning to close again. as sleep pulls you under, the last thing you feel is sunghoon’s gentle kiss on your forehead, and the reassurance that when you wake up, he’ll still be right there, ready to hold you close—just as he promised.

ೄྀ࿐ PAC: What do they love about you that they do not tell you?⍣ ೋ

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” (Jane Austen, Emma)

Piles 1-2-3 will be referred to your FS, what does your Future Spouse love about you that they do not say? Choose one of them. 🌷

Piles A-B-C will be referred to your friends/family, what do they love about you that they do not say? Choose one of them. ✨

Other readings (M.list)

Paid readings

PILES 1-2-3 (from left to right)

PILES A-B-C (from left to right)

PILE 1

(Prince of Gems – King of Gems – Justice -The Magician – Devil in the back - Let it be – True love)

They love how hardworking you are. They admire the fact that you can put your mind into something and create it from the beginning to the end. You are not the type to stop half-way, you go all the way. You could also have a pure hearth and mind. You do things with a lot of genuineness.

I have the feeling that they love to see you work, they love being able to look at you while you are sitting in your desk. I think their heart flutters at the thought of knowing “you are theirs”. They love to see you concentrated and focused on something.  They love to admire you (as if they were a secret lover), they like to pass their gaze from your hair to your lips. I think you may have long eyelashes and when you look down, they are gently laying on your cheeks, they love it. They love your eyes and its gaze (you could have doe eyes). They love how pure and soft you look in those moments. The duality, looking soft while being so capable and clever.

They also love how your ethic stands out, you may be someone honest and truthful. This may be hidden because saying to someone: “I love your principles and values” may be a bit weird. 🤣🤣. But I think your principles match, so they love that. You could be great matches to each other. They would also love your energy and how they feel around you, you tick the right boxes in their brain. Cleverness-wise.

They do also love your body, mostly your legs. They think you have a toned and pretty body, a slender one. You could look taller than not what you really are. They love it, they are really obsessed with your body and the things they want to do to it.  You may seduce them without even knowing. Your body and your soft aura are a kill for them. It’s as if they could not understand how something like you exist.

They do feel it could be true love with you. They could have had bad relationships in the past. It’s possible that they were confused about the feelings they had for their partner, but with you, they know it’s real and true love. They will start to understand a lot of things from the moment you enter their lives. There’s an admiration that comes from them that you could find difficult to understand. But it’s just that you were the spark to start their peace.

PILE 2

(Prince of Roses – Four of Wings – Seven of Shells – Six of Gems – Express your love – Let your ex go)

With the cards I got, I am seeing a story. It feels as if in this couple there are an extroverted and an introvert. The extrovert could be a bit of a flirt, could be expressive, open-minded and with a fresh energy. The introvert is calmer, does not express their love or does not confess their crushes. It’s a way more private person.

I think that both people like the other for the qualities that they themselves do not have. If you are the introvert one, your FS would love how you are private and you do not need to show everybody else how much you love them. I think your FS understands and likes the fact that you think he’s the only one you must show your love to.  And you do express your love!! I think that you try to enjoy the things that your FS wants to show you as the extroverted in the relationship. You have learnt to take a few risks and you have growth with them.

You are generous and kind. A good person, it may look simply, but that’s what your FS likes in secret about you. It could be a bit weird, but they like the comfort and security that it brings him. Your FS feels safe around you.

I think your FS would rather express their love for you with compliments about your beauty and how sweet or how pretty you are. But they do also like the comfort that they get when they hug you or when they kiss you. I think they are happy that what you have is not a mere illusion; not for them. They would love you so much. It’s as if you were their little treasure that they must protect. It’s as if they wanted to keep a string attached to both of your wrists, so your fs will never lose you. Your future spouse could be a little more possessive that what lets you see. Maybe, for other people it could be weird because they do not understand what you have from an outside point of view. You will create your own form of communication and comprehension. It’s really cute.

PILE 3

(The Magician – The High Priestess – Ten of Wings – Six of Shells – Two of Roses - Confidence)

Your FS likes that you take responsibility for your own actions. They like that you are feminine and in tune with your intuition. You are someone magnetic and a bit mysterious to them. It feels as if you appeared to know more than not the average person.  It’s possible that you have had bad experiences and you have decided to trust more your hunches; in hopes to stop yourself to get into toxic relationships.

I think they like the rush they get from your energy and your personality. You make them really happy, and they love your bad jokes. They think you are also a bit childish, a bit of a brat, a cute one! They like how much attention you demand from them. They may be serious, probably older than you.

They do also like how you were the key to a new part of life. I think you have showed them that love is funny and mischievous. Some of your FS past relationships must have been really serious and not romantic. I think they focused more on what to do than not on how to do it. Casual things can be as much or more romantic than not big gestures of “love”.

They do also love the fact that they can trust you with their whole heart. They know you are trust-worthy and that you will never lie to them. (It’s possible that they got cheated on before?). I think they could be healing their inner-child; they got hurt and they did not had people around them that supported them but with you they feel as if they had heal and that they are ready to start taking some risks and enjoy their lives a bit more.

I think they do always ask for your advice and thoughts, you could become one of their greatest counsellors and they love you for it. You are an unchangeable part of their heart.

PILE A

(Three of roses – Judgment – Ten of wings – Princess of Wings)

I think the first two cards are mostly related to your family. You could be responsible and you yourself are used to reflect on your situation and your options, I think it’s mostly based on your studies/job. It’s possible that you have a clear view on the opportunities that you have.

I think they are proud of the choices that you have done trough life. Some of them could have been really complicated and hurtful at some points but they and you know that it’s the best at long-time. They do not express it but they feel it. They know you are someone responsible and preventive.

They do also love how strong you are, you have been able to free yourself from certain situation, possible betrayals from friends or being able to cut people off that were toxic to you.

They do also think that you are good with words or with communication. I think it’s possible that you speak more languages than your friends or family. You are someone that’s always receptive to their approaches, maybe a bit too much (learn to express your boundaries). They can always come to you to express their problems and doubts.

A lovely aura. Clever but soft.  

PILE B

(Justice – Six of shells – Five of gems – Princess of Gems)

You are honest, they love and appreciate your honesty and the way you are always truthful. I think they see how you calculate your acts and its consequences. You are a clean-fingered person. You could make them evolve with your words and views on things.

I think that what they most like is the way you calculate your actions with good intentions. You are a good person, and you always act in a way to try to make your friends and family happy. It’s an act, a performance, you decide to act in a childish way for protecting them and to make them happy.  I think you are an observer and much cleverer that what you let them notice.

You could happy a bit of anxiety, they notice that: but still, you are also hard-working. They notice how you try to push your limits and how you try to grow and expand your limits. You are not afraid to get your hands dirty working hardly and honestly. I think these impressions comes mostly from your friends.

They do also see, mixing my last words, that you are someone naive with the work that you do. You are always excited and eager to learn more and to explore. I think you still conserve the innocence of a growing child. They get happy to do anything new, no matter how much it will cost or how tiring it is.

PILE C

(The Lovers – Prince of Shells – Seven of Gems – Two of wings)

DAMN, you are so beautiful!!!!!!! Aren’t you? You are really attractive and passionate. You are a charmer; you are really loved! You are a little star; I think some of you are so beautiful that you get pretty privilege (sorry not sorry for saying it). Your friends and family truly think that you are pretty.

The first thing I have noticed, as I said, it’s your beauty and your passion. You could be a bit of a brat, always searching to stir feelings and small dramas. Passion is a good thing; you do like to find the best way to get to your objectives or the things that you like. I do think you have a mix between water and fire signs (even a bit of air). You do always fight for what you want in a really strategic way. They could even get frustrated about how much you try.

The second thing I notice is balance. You are someone balanced between brain and heart. You do keep a diary on your mind on what you have done, and you always try to be the fairest.

I think you always keep your options open or that you always have paths for everything. You are the person that your friend go to when they need to find something or when they need to buy something, etc… You are a really cool older sister for them, always having the resources that they need.

But at the same time, you have the vibes of an adorable and bratty young sister, you do always get away with it.

Backgrounds for CAS - Everlasting Summer Only for TS4

This is my first experience, and it came out quite successful! Fans of the game and just fans of good pictures catch this *personally, I’m excited about 5*

Download

Special thanks to @sssvitlans for reblogs^^

MiraculousGem’s  Save File

“Why is it that the world is filled with drama?”

“Every one of us is so different…”

“Yet, we’re all the same.”

After many months of working on this, it’s finally done! I’ve been inspired to do this by seeing others save files (Lilsimsie, Plumbella). The vibe I went for with this with drama. Me personally, I enjoy storytelling whether it’s through let’s plays, machinimas. With having the many characters and stories, there’s always the option to expand or change each sim’s fate.

With the lots, I decided to have at least one-two starters per world (Willow Creek has the most starters) that are ready to move into. Not every lot is filled with a household, but most of them are (though all the Newcrest lots are filled).

NOTE: This is the first version of this save file. Please let me know if there’s anything wrong so then I can try to fix it.

Some of the lots I didn’t touch (Ancient Ruins, Von Haunt Estate, Lighthouse) because I felt they would fine as is. Others I only renovated and some of original Townie houses. The rest are completely built by me.

There’s no CC, however I used lots of packs for this. If you don’t have all of the packs, just replace/change whatever is missing.

Don’t forget to turn lifespan back on! I had it disabled while working on this so then no one would age up.

Willow Creek:

5 new families (2 EA households)

4 starter homes

Drama in the Harding-Coleman household

Storyline with the Gillan-Hart and May-Johnson household

Family friendly park, museum, and library

Oasis Springs:

8 new families

3 starter homes

Renovated lots; family friendly park

Arid Hospital

Drama with the Dyson household

Storyline with the Mitchells

Newcrest:

7 new families (1 EA household)

Modern aesthetic

“Stripper” bar, Newcrest plaza, Bowling alley

Storyline with the Lintons, Johnsons, Ornelas’, and Hinds-Jaeger household

Magnolia Promenade:

Renovated retail lots, toddler cafe

Windenburg:

1 new family (Andersons)

Lots of renovated lots, lots of Townie makeovers

Family friendly park, lively neighborhoods

Storyline with the Andersons

San Myshuno:

10 new families (1 EA household)

Dorm room apartment

Wedding venue/honeymoon cabin in Myshuno Meadows

Renovated lots, Townie makeovers 

Lively world, rooftop restaurant

Drama with the Mayfair and Coleman household

Forgotten Hollow:

2 new families

Townie makeovers, Vampire Nightclub

Brindleton Bay:

2 new families (1 EA household)

2 starter homes

Seafood restaurant, renovated hospital

Two run down factory residential lots

Granite Falls:

Four all new rental lots

Selvadorada

Renovated rental lots and bar

How to Install:

Download the file in the link below

Place the file in: Documents\Electronic Arts\The Sims 4\saves

Before you place this in here, backup your saves!

     3. start up your game and enjoy!

Here’s a helpful tutorial on how to install save files:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-2_n1ZyqBo

Watch the trailer here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvmYCivEWO4&lc=z22gffybomr3chdgr04t1aokgdzznwy0cah4swnkc0jerk0h00410

Download:

Dropbox - https://www.dropbox.com/s/zafn8vp9qv1q0t3/MiraculousGem%27s%20save%20file.zip?dl=0

smother - part vii: convert

dark!joel x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 | kofi

summary: you're entangled deeper into joel's web with a test to your submission, and he brings you a revelation that shocks your entire known world. 13.1k words (literally what the fuck) chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI! dubcon - stockholm syndrome, general coercion, innocent reader, big juicy age gap (reader is 19, joel is 55), ddlg/daddy dom! joel, sub!reader, reader wears a collar, unprotected piv, corruption kink, pet names for reader, dirty talk, lap sitting and straddling, discussion/descriptions of religious beliefs and cults, yeaaah i learned i'm working through some religious trauma with this one, reader has hair that can be grabbed onto, reader gets her period, reader cries A LOT and i'm not sorry about it, if these darker tags aren't your cup of tea please keep scrolling! a/n: i had such a solid, general idea for this chapter and then she took me in so many directions against my own will but it was a fun ride. so i guess i just hope to hell this is coherent?? and not just a slog. also sorry for dumping my religious trauma on you all but it had to be done 😇

reminder i have no taglist anymore, follow @beardedjoel-updates to hear about my new fics!

If any of these rules are broken, daddy will punish me:

Daddy owns me. What daddy says goes. Always. 

Always use the titles ‘daddy’, ‘sir’, or ‘master’.

Daddy knows best. Do NOT question him.

‘Yes.’ ‘Please.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘Sorry.’ Use my manners.

Never remove my collar. Only daddy can do that.

Always be honest with daddy.

You’ve been scribbling furiously for the last thirty minutes, curled on the floor in front of the couch as you use the ground as your table, writing whenever and whatever Joel dictates. That was one of the first rules he’d iterated to you - sit at daddy’s feet when commanded. 

Joel sits on the couch right next to where you’re situated, periodically sipping on a mug of steaming coffee. A delicacy, one of his guilty pleasures that he practically sells his soul for over in Jackson just to get a bag of it, he tells you. He’s dressed casually, having thrown on a pair of gray sweatpants and he’d forgone a shirt when you two rolled out of bed this morning. The outfit only does favors for him, you notice - the hair trailing down the planes of his chest to the waistband of his sweatpants leaving little to the imagination in terms of what’s underneath them. That glorious thing that had made you feel so much… pleasure. You try to hide your shiver at the memories of last night, but circle back to it over and over in your mind. You can still feel it, feel him as you shift your weight and a soreness hits you yet again between your legs. 

You practically have to tear your gaze off of him, trying to focus back on the lesson as heat floods your cheeks from how easily you were distracted. It’s not supposed to be like this, you think angrily, you shouldn’t be having these feelings. You’re… captive, a prize to him, nothing more, you remind yourself, despite recalling the way he’d looked at you this morning when you two woke up - his eyes a little softer and starry after your special night together. 

Your knees burn again as the bare skin scrapes against the wooden floorboards when you bend down to write the next thing Joel had spoken out,  gently stroking your head as he did so.

Wear only what daddy approves for me. 

This one feels apt to be next as you try to avoid wincing at the discomfort growing in your knees. Joel had tested you this morning, seeing what you’d grab from the drawer, what you’d put together to please him. When you’d pulled out jeans, he shook his head as you hesitantly held them up towards him.

“No. No pants when you’re home with daddy. Jus’ the sweater an’ your little panties,” Joel had snipped with irritated and hurried footsteps to the dresser drawer where he pulled out a knit top. “Arms up,” he commanded, sliding the oversized sweater over your head, not bothering with any type of bra. He rationalized it was just more for him to have to get through later, anyways. “Grab some tall socks. Can’t have those feet gettin’ cold, little one,” he’d added on cooly, tossing his hand in the air as if he couldn’t care less which socks you chose. But still, his eyes had lingered, hawk-like while your fingers hovered over the drawer until you decided on a pair of slightly dingy pink cable knit ones that came up onto your shins.

You feel the soft, warm material of the sweater hugging your skin now as you hunch over to start writing the next rule.

Do not come without permission.

You lift your head, glancing at Joel with your eyes wide and curious, pencil hovering above the page, leaving the sentence half written.

“Y’heard me,” he says airily. “Don’t want teacher getting mad, do you? Thinkin’ y’don’t wanna write that one down, hm?”

“N-no, sir. Sorry, sir.” Your head shakes quickly, a rush of fear pulsing through you. You hunch your back over once again, pencil meeting paper as you write out each word carefully for him to see. 

“Mm,” Joel murmurs, leaning forward to look as you hunch over. He keeps a hand resting on top of your head, petting you soothingly. It makes you ache inside, your body responding so pliantly when he touches you like this. “That’s a good girl, then.”

“I just -” you start, eyes glancing back up at him. Joel’s eyes are now narrowed in warning as his brow pinches together. 

“You just what?” he punches out gruffly. “Hm, princess? What did we say to do if you have a question for teacher today?”

Your eyes cast back down. “R-raise my hand, sir,” you say carefully, slowly raising your hand from where it rests on the floor, letting it hover above your head.

“There we go…” Joel coos. “Yes, blossom?”

You sit back on your legs and fold your hands in your lap, looking downwards - the exact position he’d requested if you had any questions for him.

“With t-the coming… rule…” you start, feeling a burn in your cheeks as you practically whisper the dirty word. You wish you could be so bold and open like Joel, talk about these kinds of things like they’re nothing. “I- I’ve done that before and you didn’t get… upset.”

Joel leans back, spreading his arms along the back of the couch, your eyes catching quickly on the way his biceps flex as you glance up. “See, that’s where you’re wrong, sweets. First time, eh, maybe, but I’ve always been in control, darlin’. No time you came since then I didn’t say so.” He lounges back further, arms crossing over his chest now, looking beyond satisfied as he sees you start to wrack your brain.

Hazy memories of Joel, urging you on in those intimate moments start to come to mind. ‘Let go’, he’d say, ‘Go on and feel good’ - all permissions you suppose that you had missed in the heat of the moment. It always just happened when he told you to, like he knew how close you were to that edge already and wanted to own that, too. 

“I guess that’s true…” you admit, twisting your lips to the side as you bite the skin inside. “So… that means… I should wait for you to say, like before…?”

“Or ask,” Joel interrupts. “Nice and polite for daddy, f’course.”

You nod slowly, taking the information in like a sponge, glancing at your hands fiddling in your lap. Anxiety looms overhead, a question you’re afraid to ask but terrified more of what could happen if the rule is broken. “What if -”

“You won’t,” Joel interrupts again, his voice stern, certain. “You’ll learn. You can control it, and be a good girl and wait for daddy’s permission. Thas’ why it’s on the paper, sweetheart.”

You swallow hard, just giving him a dutiful nod for a few quiet beats. “Yes, sir,” you finally reply submissively, voice tiny and mousy under his command.

“Enough questions. Let’s take a break, hm?” Joel cocks his head, giving you a half smile. You nod and gather up your paper and pencil into your lap, wondering if the rule to being on your knees for Joel also applied to standing up off of them.

“Up, darlin’,” he commands, seeing your tense, watchful expression. “Daddy’s missin’ you, wants to feel his favorite girl in his lap for a bit.”

You press your lips together, trying to hide a coy smile but let it slip through, anyhow, glancing at Joel as you stand up and smooth your sweater. You gingerly set your list on the side table and Joel pats his lap eagerly when you turn back to face him. His eyes only devour devour devour as they drag over your entire body. The pretty pink socks you’d chosen next to all that negative space under the hem of the long sweater were such a god damned tease on those legs of yours. Such an innocent display, yet knowing more than well just what it would do to him. 

You surprise yourself by how assured you feel in your movements as you climb onto the couch, seating yourself on Joel’s lap, legs stretched off to the side over his thighs with your ass planted right next to his. Joel’s arms wrap you up, pulling your top half into him. You rest your head down onto his shoulder, savoring the quiet of the moment. You can hear Joel’s calm breathing, the chirping of birds outside and the way snow drips off of the rooftop as it melts - spring is well on its way now. Fresh starts, new beginnings, it all starts to swell in your heart as you think of moving away from this bleak winter and into new beginnings. 

With Joel. 

Joel breathes you in, a nose to your hair. “Blossom, I’ve got some bad news f’you,” Joel states, protective hands roaming your body wherever he pleases. One lands firmly on your ass as it protrudes outward, patting it softly a few times, almost absentminded in his movements. 

“Oh…” you reply, feeling your face fall, awaiting further explanation. 

“I’ve got to head to Jackson soon. Long overdue for a restock, now that the weather broke some. An’ they’ll be waitin’ on me over there.” He locks concerned eyes with you, carefully gauging your reaction.

“Oh…” you say another time, frowning. “A-and… alone?” you squeak out, already knowing the answer.

Joel nods sorrowfully, bringing a preemptively soothing hand to cup your cheek. “It ain’t safe out there for my sugar. You jus’ got out of the mess out there, right? Need to keep you safe right here.” Joel knows that you’re lonely, oh so lonely, and this timing couldn’t be worse, but it’s a good test - he’ll get to see your resolve, your dedication to him. 

“B-but…” you start, the words drifting away into the empty space around you. Joel’s eyes glance past you to the paper you’d been working on all morning, sitting on the side table, the words you know he’s simmering about right now ringing through your head.

Do NOT question him.

So you don’t. “Okay, daddy,” you say with resignation, sighing and letting your head fall back past his shoulder and onto the back of the couch with a sigh. 

Joel rubs your back in soothing circles. “I know, I know. Jus’ a few days, though. I got plans to keep you safe. An’ I’ll be bringin’ back plenty of good stuff for us, sweetheart.”

You nod, knowing the sad look is permeating your energy, a frown stuck on your lips. You’re not even sure what it is about Joel leaving that makes you feel this way - you’re certainly not opposed to having some space after having your world flipped upside down by Joel this past week, but you’ll miss the way he makes you feel safe, seems to anticipate your needs before you even think about it. You already find yourself feeling somewhat lost at the thought of being without him, and it scares the hell out of you.

Joel pinches one of your cheeks as you stare up at the ceiling from where your head rests back, contemplating. “You gonna miss me, hm? Miss your ol’ daddy while he’s gone?” Joel pinches your cheek several more times, clearly trying to get you to smile. You lift your head and look over at him, finally cracking a soft grin.

“I will, daddy. Of course,” you reply sweetly. 

Joel looks more satisfied, his eyes drifting down your body and falling at your knees before he frowns a little. “Aw, baby,” he tuts, reaching a hand to stroke along your scuffed, dry kneecaps. “So good for daddy, aren’t you? Didn’t complain once about this.”

You shake your head, going a little sullen. You hadn’t dared complain, not when kneeling was one of the rules. “N-no, sir.”

“They hurtin’? Need a little kiss from daddy?” Joel strokes the side of your head gently, gazing at you with his eyes softened as much as it seems Joel is capable of. There’s still a hardness there, something dark that always looms, swirls deep in the dark brown of his eyes and continues to draw you into him.  

You find his tone makes you start to pout naturally, letting your lips push out and into a frown. You nod, just a dip down of your head. “Yes, please…” you mutter, almost embarrassed that you do want that from him. The offer of this little gesture of care makes your heart squeeze tight while you watch him lean down, lips connecting to your knee. Joel just barely flutters his lips on your right knee before doing the same to your left. He gives you a wily grin when he pulls back, cupping your cheek.

“Gonna kiss y’somewhere else now, too,” he teases, his voice lower. His lips find yours and he kisses you deeply, rubbing his hands along your hurting knees. You wince a little but let him continue the touch, trying to ignore how sensitive they feel right now. Joel’s mouth invites you in, opening for a deeper kiss, his tongue starting a dance with yours. You gladly accept, your body quickly melding into one with his, nerves starting to light up with desire. 

“Daddy wants to show ya how much he’ll miss you when he’s gone,” Joel says, a little breathless against your lips before kissing you again. You start to feel the now familiar warmth spreading across your skin and lean into him, letting more of your weight press against his chest. Joel’s hands find your legs, gripping one of your calves to drag it across his lap, turning your body so that you’re straddling him. All the while he never stops the eager way his lips continue to meet yours, like he couldn’t possibly get enough of it. You’re enjoying the slowness of it all, despite need throbbing at your center already, wishing he’d help you in the way only Joel knows how, that almost shameful part of you that you’re still coming to grips with.

You whimper quietly into his mouth when Joel moves your hips for you, forcing you to rock forward on his lap. His arousal bulges through the material of the sweatpants, immediately meeting your damp center as he brushes the head of his clothed cock against your panties. Your little moans grow louder when Joel repeats the motion several times, the friction becoming heavenly as you lose yourself to it. 

“Mmm, good girl, you like that, don’t ya?” Joel asks in a low, coarse rumble, his hands sliding tighter around your back to pull you close. You feel yourself press against his bare chest, his skin hot, felt even through the fabric of your shirt. You find yourself shy to answer, just a minute nod as you bury your head against his shoulder with a muffled mhm.

“Say ‘yes, daddy,’” Joel snips, his hand splaying across the back of your head before his fingers curl in, fisting your hair. His other hand stays on the small of your back, urging your hips to continue grinding on him. You shudder as your clit brushes harder against him.

“Y-yes, daddy,” you force out, your face warming against his bare skin. Your head is yanked back suddenly before Joel’s hand slides forward, one of his thick fingers hooking into the o-ring on your collar to hold you steady. 

“Now say ‘please fuck me, daddy’,” Joel continues, his brows knit closely as he watches you, a gentle, steady pull of your collar felt against your neck. 

“I’m not supposed to say stuff like t-that…” You shake your head a little, recalling the way you’d been brutally scolded around age thirteen after learning a few new curse words from a girl that Josephine had dubbed an awful, terrible influence on you. You hadn’t been allowed to see her after that. Despite your community's rules against cursing or using the Lord’s name in vain, you still heard each and every curse word under the sun over the years you lived there from people in a weak moment, a brief slip up, quietly filing each one into your brain purely out of curiosity. 

“Heard one slip before princess,” Joel huffs, eyes starting to heat up as they bore into you. “An’ whose rules are those, hm? Are those daddy’s rules?” Joel shoots his free hand up to your chin, a tight grip that makes you wince. “Is that on that paper over there?” he spits out with a little more venom. You tremble a little, trying to shake your head as much as you can in his grasp. 

“No s-sir. That’s not your rules…” you whimper. 

“Thas’ right. So what do you say?”

“Please f-fuck… me, daddy…” You speak quietly, that curse word heavy on your tongue after having been mostly said only inside the confines of your own head before. Just because you’d been banned from saying them, you’d liked having the little secret in your head where you said them anyways, trying to see if anyone would know, be able to tell your guilty pleasure. 

“Think you could do better than that. Daddy ain’t sure he believes you, now.” Joel smirks, amused. He can tell you liked saying fuck despite the way your sullen eyes casted down when you’d spoken, still getting used to the feel of curse words on your tongue. Joel is still slowly helping your hips grind against him, light and slow, just enough to work you up and have you starting to soak through your cotton panties. 

You bite your lip nervously, and then meet his heavy lidded gaze, trying to appear more confident even though your heart is ready to thump right out of your chest, eyes burning with the sting of tears. Joel catches your clit on the clothed head of his dick and you whine quietly, starting to feel desperation clawing at you for some kind of relief from your aching sex. 

“Please fuck me, daddy,” you say, and Joel’s hips involuntarily buck up into yours, sending you gasping and him groaning. His eyebrows shoot up in the moment, surprised at just how much you’d committed that time. You have to fight the urge to clamp your hand over your mouth in shock, in penance, willing the words to disappear from the air, that God himself might come down and punish you. You can’t decide whose punishment would be worse, in the end. 

Joel’s face is lit up, activated, while he reaches between your bodies, his movements a little frenzied as he finds the waistband of his sweatpants and tugs it down just enough to pull his cock out. It springs free almost violently in his haste, and he grunts as his breathing picks up. 

“Eager little girl for daddy today, aren’t ya? One taste of my cock and you can’t get enough, yeah?”

“Y-yeah,” you choke out obediently, feeling his cock pressing hastily against your panties, just the thin bit of fabric separating you two now. You think you’d say yes to anything right now, barely able to focus on anything but that large appendage trying to press through your underwear. 

You can scarcely breathe properly at the anticipation you’re feeling, a nervous fluttering low in your belly at the idea of being stretched the way you were last night. Joel had promised you’d get more used to it, that this would become even more fun for you, and you try to place your faith in his words as fear creeps in. 

“Now don’t you dare ever say those words to anyone else. Be a good, proper girl, and don’t curse unless I say so,” Joel demands softly, his hand scratching along the back of your head, fingers massaging into your scalp. 

“Yes, daddy,” you murmur quietly before he brings his lips to yours, hands moving quickly to adjust your hips upwards to position himself, fingers tugging your panties to the side. He keeps his eyes locked on yours before scanning your face, watching your mouth pop open in a stunned, shaky inhale when he starts to slide himself in, the bulbous head burning at your entrance just like it did last night. You’re almost holding your breath, sparks exploding across your skin as your cunt starts to eagerly take him in despite the pain, desperate for him. Like it doesn’t know how to live without Joel now.

“Shh…” he coos, watching in amazement as your brows twitch together, mouth still hanging slightly agape while he brings you down further, your entire body tensing up. “She still sore, sugar?”

You nod, tears pricking at your eyes now but you breathe in and out slowly, starting to relish in everything you’re feeling. Something so wrong feeling so right, and for the first time, you start to just let yourself enjoy it with no strings attached.

“It hurts…” You try to remember the breathing from last night, the way you’d finally been able to relax your body enough for it to start feeling good. Bring me back to that, you plead with your aching body. 

Joel presses his forehead to yours. already sticky with sweat and shushes you quietly again. “I know… gonna take some time to get used to daddy’s fat cock, baby,” Joel sympathizes, his lips finding your nose and giving it a few tender kisses as he continues to pull your hips down. You feel on the verge of something like passing out, the most overwhelmingly full sensation filling your belly, your eyes wanting to roll back as you cling to Joel. Your forehead presses harder into his and your breathing shakes as your fingers move to his hair, gripping onto the curls at the base of his neck. 

“I c-can’t d-do more…”

“No, no, none of that… almost there…” Joel coos sweetly as he forces your hips the tiniest bit more, and you whine, gritting your teeth. “She’s so full, huh? Mmm…” Joel starts to lose himself again, just like last night, and you try to tug a little on his hair to keep him present in hopes he wouldn’t hurt you as much as he did before. 

“Okay, okay… f-fuck, sweetheart. Fits like a damn glove though, so perfect.” Joel tilts his head to kiss your lips, and you eagerly meet them despite your labored breathing, hoping to calm your nerves. 

He starts to slowly drag out, the friction heavenly and sending you groaning quietly into Joel’s mouth. He pushes back in, starting a tiny rhythm with it and you nearly choke, pain bursting through your core as you adjust. 

“Goooood girl…” he rumbles, a long, contented sigh pushing out of his nostrils. “So good… Made for me… made for this cock, honey. Look at ya…” Joel praises you with a few more kisses, keeping the steady pace in and out of you. You’re starting to pant, that desperate heat taking over and pulling your body down onto Joel’s lap with each thrust of his. You throw your arms around his neck, clinging on as your head tucks into his shoulder, whimpering. It’s still on the verge of too much, Joel’s size now reaching an entirely new depth inside of you - a feeling you can’t quite describe and never could have imagined.

“No, no, sugar, look at me when you’re full’a me… eyes right here,” Joel says, tugging your head back by the collar, keeping it held there with his fingers curled around the leather strap. Your worried, dazed eyes find his, comforted by the dark brown irises that look at you with such admiration and zeal right now. 

“Y’can do it, help daddy ride this cock,” Joel purrs, both hands on either side of your hips now, keeping a slow, steady rhythm. You feel fat tears squeezing out of the corners of your eyes, your body starting to melt for him but the pain never truly subsiding. “That’s it, blossom, oh you’re a good girl for daddy today ain’t you?” Joel smirks, satisfied as a little moan slips out of you, cunt starting to weep around his cock, only easing his way in and out of you.

“Y-yes, daddy,” you whimper on the tail end of a breathy moan. Joel’s eyes are narrow, transfixed on your features, loving the way you react to each movement with a renewed sense of wonder and eagerness. That tiny hint of fear he sees mixed in with everything else is what urges him on, is what he’s decided he lives for.  

The slow pace, his cock brushing against every part of you with each movement has you struggling to keep your eyes open for him, the pleasure sending them fluttering shut as you clutch onto the couch cushion on either side of Joel’s head. Your body seems to be thinking for you again, your inexperienced mind barely even able to comprehend the way it moves, angles itself as you perch above Joel’s lap and grind your way down. Your mouth hangs open, stunned as you find your clit stimulated just enough by the friction between your two bodies to start filling your lower belly with that tingling warmth. 

“D-daddy?” you ask desperately, the feeling ramping up quicker than you’d intended, a sudden fear gripping your heart in a chokehold that you’ll let go before it’s okay, that you’ll break your new set of rules so quickly. Please, please, you quickly beg yourself, hold on for him. 

“Hang on t’ the feelin’, sweetheart, I know you can,” Joel coaches you, one hand still on your collar and the other brushing along the side of your head to comfort you. “C’mon…” he urges, a little more excited as he grins devilishly at you. You bite the inside of your cheek, choking back the moans, trying to slow your movements on top of him and shake your head. 

“Please…” you whisper quietly, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to focus on anything else. You try old prayers, the feel of the cold ground when you’d been out on your own, your least favorite foods, but come up short. Nothing can compare, can overtake the fiery feeling burning its way through you. 

“One more…” Joel smirks, gently slapping a hand to your asscheek as you hesitantly chase your high, your face the most beautiful mixture of worry and pleasure he’s ever seen. He loves to hear you beg, pretty pleases falling from your lips for him and nobody else - never again for anybody else.

“P-please,” you beg with a little more gusto, leaving Joel smiling at you as his cock hardens more inside of you, aching for release when he hears you beg for him. 

“Come, baby. Come for daddy,” he says, his voice now losing it’s cool facade and sounding more urgent, excitement sweeping his features as he watches you start to moan louder and shudder. 

It’s too much, Joel doesn’t have the control he wishes for yet - it’s all too new, too many years wasting in longing for a moment just like this, for his perfect little pet to come along. You. You are going to be everything and more, and he has no resolve, no control over himself when it comes to you and your inexperienced little cunt that you have no idea how to use yet. He’ll be completely wrecked when that day comes, he thinks cheekily to himself as you continue whimpering, face slick with a sheen of sweat while you bear down on him and shake, moaning quieter than he’d like to hear. But he lets it slide for now, knowing that someday he’ll have you shaking the walls of this damn cabin with your cries and moans and pitiful screams of his name. 

Joel fucks his hips up into you a few more times as he runs away with his thoughts before quickly slipping out, just in time for his cum to splatter upwards onto his belly and chest as he breathes heavily with a loud grunt. 

“Shit, babygirl…” he moans quietly as his head flops towards the back of the couch, and you stare down between your bodies with your lips parted, trying to catch your breath. You can’t help but notice the mess he’s made on you too - your sweater marked with the evidence of what you two have done in white splotches. Weirdly, it makes you smile, a coy little turn of your lips that makes you feel proud to have affected him so much that he’s still taking his time to recoup. You slide off of Joel’s lap and snuggle up to him, Joel quickly and greedily accepting the way you press into him, his arms snaking around you while you curl into him and put your own arms around his shoulders. 

“When?” you ask quietly, your cheek tight against his bare, slightly damp chest. 

Joel’s fingers start to run patterns along your back, so gentle for a man oh so rough, and your eyes flutter closed. “Today.”

You frown and then nod against him so he can feel it, know you’ve acknowledged his answer in some way. But you suddenly feel like pouting, like this is completely unfair of him to spring on you so suddenly, just when you were starting to adjust to things with him.

“C’mon then, let’s get up, yeah? Daddy’s gotta get goin’.”

Hmph. You make the tiny noise and snake your arms tighter around his neck, squishing your face down so that your cheek is crushed, clinging to him. 

Joel chuckles goodnaturedly, starting to rub your back a little harder. “Only three days, sweetheart. You’ll be safe here.”

You squeeze tighter, and Joel’s hand quickly slides to the back of your neck, fingers under the collar in warning, the other hand tightening against your back.

Joel makes a quiet noise, a tiny grunt of disapproval as he shifts underneath you, trying to move you off of him. “Knock it off. Don’t make this harder than it has to be f’me. You think I like leavin’ you?”

“Idunno,” you mumble, mouth crushed against his skin. You know Joel doesn’t like this any more than you do, that he’s likely terrified to leave you alone, break this strange attachment you’re starting to have to him in the few days he’ll be away. But you can’t help but feel hurt, irritation surging through you in an unfair burst towards Joel.

“Think you’ll want to try that again, princess,” he says sternly, his muscles taut underneath you. A warning, a last chance before you may face your first real, deliberate punishment from him.

You sigh dejectedly, loosening your grip on him some, and he wriggles a little at the freedom, situating himself below you as his gaze narrows a little. “Of course not, daddy, no,” you say quietly, sighing again.

“That’s right. So let’s get me goin’ so it’ll be sooner I’ll come back, yeah?” Joel watches you tenderly, hating the fact that he has to leave you, too. But he can’t show it, can’t let you rope him into staying somehow - this is for the both of you, for him to provide for this precious thing he’s lucky enough to have under his wing. 

You nod with a few small bounces of your head, glassy eyes looking into his. “Y-yes… sir…”

You stand, fingertips gingerly placed on the glass of the window as you reach across the sink, leaned forward to get a better look. Your eyes scan the empty forest surrounding you, bright sun shining down as grass starts to peek through the now thinning layer of snow. 

Come see me off Joel had said, uncharacteristically sweet, as he placed you by the window you now stand in front of, telling you to wait until he’d passed to walk away. You frown, recalling how you’d followed him sulkily around the cabin, watching as he got dressed and gathered his things with a pout etched on your lips that Joel purposefully ignored. You’d broken away at his lack of attention and traipsed to that closet near the entryway, grabbing the chain and hauling it out, looking at Joel with sad, expectant eyes.

He’d only shook his head, a calloused hand meeting yours where it gripped the cold metal and using his thumb to stroke along the back of your hand, sweet like he was doing you a favor. 

Not this time he’d whispered, face merely inches from yours. You won’t leave. You’d nearly cried, holding it back with lips pressed tight, knowing he was right. Knowing you wouldn’t. Couldn’t.

Leaving - the option felt far away now, hard to grasp, like your mind couldn’t quite imagine going back to the horrors that the outside world offered. You had a world here - a warm world where you were fed and no harm could befall you if Joel could help it. Your vicious protector. They’d been wrong about Paradise before, you thought to yourself, because this felt like the closest thing you could get in this diseased, hopeless world.

While he didn’t chain you up, Joel had been keen to let you know that the front door was going to be specially locked from the outside before showing you the shiny key and slipping it into his pocket. Windows were off limits, too, unless you decided to open them just a crack. It wasn’t worth it to risk breaking through a window to sneak off, anyways, you thought with a hopeless pang to your heart.

Try anythin’, you know I’ll find you… he’d warned, cold and calculated as his lips pressed against yours a final time before slinging his backpack over his back.

Joel comes into view a few moments later, riding on Willow, his saddle packed with pouches and rucksack softly bouncing along his back. A small cart rolls behind Willow, a risky move to travel back from Jackson with so much supply, such an easy target, but you can’t imagine anyone that would dare go up against Joel. You frown even deeper, seeing the finality of it all now laid out in front of you. Three days of silence. Three days of a cold bed. Three days of no Joel.

You should have felt free, any form of relief to see him go, to gain back a piece of your life for even a few days, but all you could muster up was your heart clenching, an all encompassing anxiety you didn’t know how to shake. 

It was like watching paint dry, waiting for Joel to come home. And you may as well have been, the way you’d stared on aimlessly, considering your situation while he was gone. It was lonely but had its freedoms at the same time - you’d tried to think about it practically when you ached to have him near again. Reminding yourself there was nobody here to worry over your every move, yet you found yourself missing the discipline. It was an area you were comfortable living in, the harshness of it all, the constant discipline, eyes watching your every decision. Your entire life had really been about that one word, and now you had a whole quiet home to yourself, unable to really enjoy it. 

You filled your time admiring the world out the windows, practically measuring just how much snow was left with your eyes, watching it melt down to the soggy, off color grass underneath. You tried to prepare yourself meals, creating new dishes and warming up the things Joel had left for you, but you found little interest in eating any of it, thinking of the way you’d shared this table with him in more ways than one. Eating meals, his hands all over you, that first, hesitant kiss, the way he’d made you fear him and revere him right in this very spot, you recall as you stare down at the grain of the wood with unseeing eyes. But you’d promised Joel that you’d take care of yourself, fill your belly with his spoils while he was gone, keeping you strong and healthy for him. He wanted his girl strong and healthy, he’d insisted as he showed you around the kitchen, making sure you were briefed on everything he had for you to eat while he was gone.

Each time you empty your plate, you wish you could show Joel, have him look proudly at you, pet your head and whisper how good you are for him in that gravelly accent of his. You shudder at the thought, that feeling in between your legs aching for him more and more with each hour that passes. Joel hardly had to warn you what would happen if you dared to touch yourself while he was gone - the memory of that night with the knife had seared into your mind enough to solidify the fact that you don’t think you’d even dare, despite his watchful eyes being miles away. It’s not like you’d know how to make yourself feel the way Joel does, anyway.

You garner enough courage to snoop around the cabin when you feel bored, but don’t disturb anything of importance, too afraid, keeping your fingers nimble and quiet, as if Joel could sense your movements even from afar. Wherever he is right now, you wonder throughout the day with wistful sighs. You don’t find much - mostly junk that was left in the home, none of it really seeming like Joel’s. The most interesting thing was an old grocery list, worn with age but otherwise well intact - you’d bet that Joel had found this place mostly untouched despite the years passing with how remote it seems. You held the list in your hands, a tiny connection to the old world, everything checked off except for radishes, and you wonder to yourself what it must have been like, carrying this little list through a crowded shop, unable to find your radishes but it didn’t matter, none of it mattered when life was a breeze, when you didn’t have to worry about the fact that the entire world had burned to the ground. 

You later discover a few more chains in that front closet, different lengths and cuffs and even one that looks like it could clip onto your collar - you touch the o-ring on the front of your adornment while your stomach does flips, an eerie feeling washing over you as you wonder how and when Joel would even use that. It sinks low, that pesky feeling between your thighs ramping up again and you slam the closet shut in frustration. You want to scream, but find you just can’t, your throat not up to the task, still too afraid that this is all some sick test, that Joel is perched right outside in the woods right now, watching and listening.

Instead, you stomp away, breathing heavily out of your nostrils, until you spot a door you’d hardly noticed on the first floor until now, always sealed shut. It’s down the hallway next to the staircase, hidden away a bit in the shadows past the powder room.

You approach with caution, swallowing a fearful lump in your throat as you dance forward on tiptoes, starting to tremble. This feels wrong - Joel had never taken to showing you this space, maybe for a reason. Who knows what horrors lay beyond the wooden door, what you could discover that you’ll never be able to turn back from. Your mind spins, going to the most wild of places when your fingers curl around the old crystal and brass doorknob and turn.

Your jaw drops at the normalcy of it all after building it up in your mind. Warm late evening light streams in through the singular window, a simple square room with a desk along the wall right underneath the window. You frown, moving forward a bit and taking in the smell - distinctly wood, fresh as you breathe it in and savor it. The room looks like it's otherwise used for some storage - nothing interesting seeming enough to go through it, but the desk. That’s Joel’s space - a large wooden slab covered with smaller pieces of wood to work with, shavings still spread across the desk along with some small tools. Everything is arranged neatly, however, much like the rest of the cabin, but you can feel that this place is cared for above the rest, a place for him to get away, lose himself for a while.

“W-woodworking…?” you murmur in a whisper, almost a question to yourself. You gape a little as you get closer, seeing what looks like the beginnings of a new project - something resembling a human shape in the works. You wonder when he's been working on this, or if he has at all since you’d arrived here, perplexed as to when he would have found the time. You feel your heart hammering, like you’re seeing something you aren’t supposed to. Something… soft, kind about Joel, a part of himself that he was keeping secret from you. He has hobbies, something he gives his time to that isn’t malicious or bad or monstrous. No, you decided too long ago now that Joel is not a monster, but just a man in need of something. 

Something you’ve seemingly been able to fill. 

You feel your face fall further, realizing the humanity of Joel laid out in front of you in such a small thing. Shavings of wood on a desk. It could be so much easier if you just hated him for it all - if you fought and clawed with each interaction instead of giving in. If you hadn’t had his spend staining your sweater that you’d refused to change when he left, savoring the lingering smell of him on it. If you didn’t feel your heart reaching out to him in his absence right now, wanting to ask daddy, what are you working on in here? as you stand in the doorway of this very room, a vision clear as day to you as Joel invites you by his side while he works. Whittling away on his project and looking at you contentedly, petting you softly, your body chained to the floor by your collar. And you loving it. 

You gasp, sucking in a hefty breath, choking back on the sob that wracks you as you pull yourself from the daydream that may as well be a prediction of your future. You hunch over, clutching your stomach, knees unable to fully hold you up as you start to cry. You sink to the middle of the floor, a woven rug cushioning your frame as you curl up, staining this house with another batch of your pathetic tears. And you can’t decide if you hate yourself more for it than you do Joel. 

On the third day, you wake up slow, rolling over in bed and remembering that the other side of it has been empty for days now. You feel completely exhausted, dried up after the way you’d cried last night before stripping your clothing and crawling into bed. Naked, just in case Joel came home in the night. Just the way he’d asked you to sleep every night since arriving here, and every one going forward. 

You stretch your arms above your head as you groan, finding despite it all, you feel a little lighter knowing that Joel is supposed to be back today - three days, he’d said like a promise, and you got the feeling he was the type of man intent on keeping it. 

Once you blink a few more times, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you feel it. Something… off, your inner thighs feeling a bit wet and sticky underneath the covers. Your stomach twists a little in pain and that’s when you know. 

“O-oh… no… s-shoot…” you mumble to yourself, practically jumping out of bed and grasping at the side of it, throwing the comforter down towards the foot of the bed. You peer down at the sheets, red permeating the green checked pattern of the flannel and shake your head. 

“No…” you whimper, glancing down to see red between your thighs, just starting to smear them the tiniest bit. You bite your lip, panicking for a moment, wondering what Joel will think of all of this - the mess you’ve made on his bed, his sheets stained to hell. You rush to the dresser, tearing open the drawers in search of anything you can use, settling on a plain white tank top of Joel’s to stuff between your thighs as you wriggle a pair of underwear and comfortable pants over top of it, your fingers shaking along the way. A haphazard grab of a tee shirt sends you rushing back to the bed as you pull it over your head and start to strip the sheets, trying to breathe through the oncoming wave of pain and nausea you’re feeling in your abdomen. 

You toss the sheets in the bath, stumbling along the way in your dazed panic and cramping midsection, terrified of Joel coming home to a mess. Leave you for three days an’ this is what you do? Trash my place, hm? You hear versions of Joel’s scolding run through your head at lightning speed, imagining all the ways he could punish you, could hurt you with just his words alone, taking away your status as a good girl for him being the one that starts the tears falling. Your throat tightens and you scrub and scrub, the red stain fading but in no way disappearing. You’re frenzied, scrubbing as you cry loudly to your harsh, imaginary reprimands from Joel, so distracted you don’t hear the sound of bootfall, the worried call of ‘Blossom? Sugar…?’ over the roaring rush of the water coming out of the tap. 

Joel stops short in the doorway to the bathroom, even his shadow looming not enough to pull you out of your crazed trance, desperate to fix everything, to avoid what you’re certain is coming. “What in the hell?” Joel spits out loudly, “Is goin’ on in here?”

You gasp, hands dropping the soaking wet sheets, a loud plop into the bathtub ringing through the now otherwise silent, tense room. You scramble to stand up, hands dripping water as you try to wipe them off on your clothing. Joel’s eyes flash down to the water, slightly discolored before noticing the large red spot on the sheets, then your panicked face, a complete mess as you stand disheveled in front of him. You’re frozen in fear, unable to explain, barely even able to process that Joel is back home, that he’s in the room with you right now. 

You head bows down, fat tears dripping off your cheeks and splattering onto the tile. “P-please, d-daddy,” you whimper, choking back a sob. “D-don’t punish me please please please! I’m sorry, it was an accident,” you pant out, already on the verge of losing it. You feel like you’re about to break down, knees wobbly, threatening to give out on you any moment. You don’t understand it, the way your emotions are pulling so heavily on you right now - you know your nerves are fraught after the last few days but you wonder if you look as pitiful as you feel right now, begging for forgiveness for something you haven’t even been chastised for yet.

“Darlin’, Christ, what in the hell -” Joel starts to murmur at the absolute state of you, eyes catching again on that stain you’d been trying to scrub out of the sheets. His face falls with the full realization, eyes glancing between your legs for a moment as if he’ll find further proof of his suspicion there, only to find you clad in your sweatpants.

You’re unrelenting, head bowed deeply, tears never ending, and Joel finds himself torn between being irritated by the completely misplaced blubbering and his compulsion to care for you, comfort you.

“Jesus…” he sighs. “Out. Now. Go wait in the bedroom f’me while I take care of it.”

“B-but -” you protest.

“What’d we say about fuckin’ questionin’ me, princess?” he snips, pinching the bridge of his nose quickly before letting the hand drop dramatically to his side. “Out. Bedroom. Now.” he speaks each word with a renewed vigor, voice full of a rich gravel, deadly serious and sending a chill up your spine. You whimper but go to rush past him, not able to bear meeting his eyeline as your shoulder brushes against his. He swings around in a flash and grabs your wrist, jerking you back from where you’d already stepped past him. You cry out, flinching in preparation for the impact but Joel’s hand only darts under the waistband of your pants (a rule broken to even have them on in the first place, you realize grimly) and slides into your underwear. He quickly cups your bare cunt and starts to rub a few circles on your clit, making you cry out again desperately. You don’t want this, not in your current state, not with the way things are down there right now, messy and impure for him. A man will want nothing to do with you this time of the month, you’d always been told, Josephine’s voice ringing clear in your head. It was even best to avoid them altogether at that special womanly time if you could.

“D-daddy… I’m - no don’t… it’s not… you won’t like it,” you stutter out desperately, praying he won’t be completely repulsed by the sight of you now and throw you out for the wolves and clickers to make quick work of what remained of you.

Joel huffs, fingers prodding at your tight entrance, slipping a knuckle inside. You clench and grit through your teeth when his grasp digs into your wrist hard. He starts to finger you at a faster pace, pushing past your discomfort until you start to moan quietly, eyes still trained on the floor, only able to catch a glimpse of the way his hand is moving inside of your panties out of the corner of your eye.

Joel yanks his hand out, smeared red and you squeeze your eyes shut, holding back another sob. “Don’t ever tell daddy what he likes and doesn’t like again, got it?” You nod dutifully and his hand is gone as quickly as it had grabbed you moments ago. “Now, let me do what I gotta do in here,” he says, a hint softer, shooing you away. You don’t bother to look back, surprised Joel hadn’t even made you meet his eyeline at some point during this entire interaction. But the entirety of you is burning with embarrassment, shame, hot all the way from your cheeks and ears down to your churning belly. You pace back and forth in the bedroom, holding back loud sobs as you choke into your hand before completely breaking down, sinking to the floor next to the bed and leaning your back onto the frame.

You don’t know how long you cry for, how long your head is buried down in your arms in your miserable, curled up state. You hardly start to feel anything at all after a while, finally resigning yourself to whatever form of punishment or worse for what you’ve done. Between this and last night, you’re feeling like a shell, nothing left to offer up to Joel other than whimpered apologies and promises. 

You don’t quite register the sound of his boots on the hardwood, stepping over towards you before you feel him on you, thick, strong arms wrapping around your shoulders. Here to love, here to comfort, not punish you, your mind taking a few moments to process it. 

“Shh… my little blossom… it’s okay…” Joel murmurs when he hears you sniffle, your body twitching as you come down from the wracking sobs you’d been wailing out. “Can you look at daddy, please?”

You whine quietly, shaking your head in defiance but still picking it up, looking at him with your face puffy and cheeks wet, bloodshot eyes making Joel feel a pang of pity in his heart.

And yet, he smiles at the sight of you. 

“There’s my girl. I missed you, baby, d’ya know that?” His fingers brush your cheeks, hot and soaked with tears as he brushes some of the wetness away. You just frown, mouth slightly ajar as you stare at him, feeling almost numb after the way you’d cried your poor heart out two days in a row now. 

“Hey now, it’s okay.  This is all natural, sweetheart, now how could daddy be mad about your body doin’ what it’s gotta do?” 

You shake your head in disbelief, finding your world turned on its head yet another time by Joel. How could it be possible that he felt so differently than everyone you’ve known, everything you’ve been taught? Who was even in the right here? What was the truth?

“I- I -“ you stutter, blinking a few times in a daze before another hiccup rolls through you. “I thought men didn’t like that…”

Joel breathes out a small laugh, breaking the tension. “Some, I guess. Now who taught you that?”

Your cheeks warm again and you glance down, shying away. You know Joel already knows the answer, that he wants to hear you say it, admit another thing you’ve been in the dark about. 

“M-my group… my community…” You realize you’re sniffling again, tears welling in your eyes as you’re hit with a strange sense of homesickness. You don’t know that you want to go back, necessarily, but your heart squeezes a little at the thought of the life you’d led for so long that was too suddenly ripped out from underneath you to really process it. 

“Well, they gave you more than one piece of bogus information, haven’t they sweetheart?”

“I… I- suppose so,” you admit tentatively, “B-but the sheets… I’m sorry, daddy, I really am…” you start, feeling yourself about to spiral out of control again but Joel quickly reigns it in with a tight squeeze of your cheeks between his hands. 

“Enough,” he says sternly but with an edge of care. “I took care of it. You can’t get so worked up ‘bout things like this, honey, thas’ why we made the rules, remember?” Joel fully sits next to you on the floor you now, gently tilting your head to keep your watery eyes on his. 

“Y-yes…”

“Nothin’ on there ‘bout makin’ a mess, right?” A curt nod from you. “Daddy’s more upset about how upset you are right now. I’m not gonna punish y’for gettin’ your damn period, sugar. I…” he sighs, a small ache of sadness apparent on his features for just a beat. “I ain’t a monster.” Words he isn’t sure he believes about himself, but ones he hopes that you do.

You feel your eyes widen a little at his choice of words, ones that had gone through your head not even twenty four hours prior. You reach up, gently touch the hand cradling your face, and nod again. 

“Y-you’re not…” you assure him, still a stuttering mess, but the both of you seem to relax in an instant, Joel content to just hold onto you for a few silent moments as he helps you breathe in and out, urging you to relax into him. 

“I’ve got somethin’ f’you,” Joel says softly as you lean on him, head melting into his shoulder as you continue to hiccup and tremble, your body fighting to calm down after such an upheaval.

“Yeah?” you ask, lifting your head to peer up at him. Joel scoots forward, pushing himself off of the floor with a loud, strained grunt before offering you his hand. You take it, letting him help you up and show you over towards the dresser, where he pulls over the rickety wooden chair that adorns the corner of the room. You’re eager now as he reaches into his pocket and presents you with something small. You take it tenderly into your palm, afraid of the sudden weight of the tiny glass vial.

“Wh-” you murmur out, face furrowed in concentration as you peer down at it.

“Nail polish. Know someone who knows someone who well, kinda makes the stuff. Or rehabs old ones, or somethin’,”  Joel quickly explains, and your eyes blink rapidly as you bite the inside of your lip, hiding the elation building up inside of you, pressing against your very being.

“R-really?” you ask excitedly, eyes glued to the bottle filled with a pink, thick liquid. “I was, uh, never allowed to have this stuff,” you say more quietly, shy to admit it.

Joel’s face hardens and he presses his lips together. “That so? Why don’t that surprise me…”

“Hm?” you ask absently, still completely transfixed, rotating the tiny glass bottle in your hands. Joel lets his mumble hang in the air, not bothering to repeat it. 

“Why don’t you try it out?” he suggests, and you look up at him, quickly seeking permission. They were already hard to find on supply runs, but any beauty products were frowned upon anyways - a distraction of the modern world, taking away from what we should really be focusing on. Any discovery of such items had them removed immediately from the home in question and a generous slap on the wrist was given. 

You forget all of that history now, eagerly twisting open the bottle, immediately scrunching your nose at the strange scent that wafts out. 

“Yeah, shit stinks, babygirl. Never understood why women wanted to go ‘round smellin’ that just for some beauty,” Joel says, chuckling, sounding so strangely normal now as he rambles on. You pull the brush out, admiring the pretty pink color with a soft smile. “Can’t complain though. Good set of nails looked damn sexy ‘f I’m honest,” Joel adds more lightheartedly. You feel yourself getting warm at the idea of doing something sexy for Joel, being alluring. A foreign concept you weren’t sure you could ever find yourself used to. He stands, leaning against the wall while you awkwardly hold your hand in the air, trying to stroke the brush on your nail. It looks streaky, already getting onto the sides of your finger and you frown - it’s not quite the glamour you’d expected. You hunch over a little more as a small wave of cramps hits and try to steady yourself. Your hands are still shaky from the rush of fear and adrenaline you’d had coursing through you as Joel had arrived home to your mess. 

“Gotta do it like this, honey,” Joel says, gripping your wrist and placing your hand down flat on the dresser. You try again, brows knit in concentration but coming up with a similarly disappointing product.

“Alright, alright,” Joel interrupts. “You’re too worked up still sweetheart. Look at you shakin’.” He clicks his tongue, shaking his head a little. “I ran you a bath while I was in there. C’mon now, ‘fore it gets cold.”

“Yes, daddy…” you say quietly, still looking down at your nails in disappointment.

“I’ll do ‘em for you, make you all pretty, mkay?” he says reassuringly, his eyes focused on where he’s still gently holding onto your hand but you watch them, wanting to see the look in his eyes when he says something so sweet and generous. These moments are the ones you hold and treasure - these glimpses of a man who you know cares, who wants everything good for you. 

The hot water soothes you instantly, Joel taking a moment to clean your nails of the first attempt at polishing them with a wet washcloth before having you soak them in the water. He’s quiet, contemplative as you two linger in the steamy, cramped room with Joel sat on the floor next to the tub. It’s an odd look for him, something so… servile, submissive to you, the way his hulking form hardly seems to fit in here, his outdoor clothing still clung to his muscles. He seems to be paying less mind to your body than usual despite it being fully naked, on display through the bathwater. You thought something like this would make you feel safe, but it’s doing quite the opposite.

“Up.” Joel says, breaking the silence as he taps your left forearm and you lift your hand out of the bath, laying it on the towel that Joel has draped along the edge of the tub. He dries your fingers and then takes your hand gingerly in his, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles. He unscrews the polish and gets to work, carefully stroking it along your nail, and you watch in wonder as he gets it looking much better than you had. He uses his own fingernail to scrape along the edge, picking up any of the polish that ran onto your nail beds.

“Weren’t allowed to use this stuff before, then?” Joel asks casually, breaking the silence. He’s been more than ready to dig into your past, find those pieces of you that made you who you are today, made you so vulnerable and weak when you’d showed up on his doorstep. Pieces that he fully intends on putting back together, making you whole, wholly his. 

“Y-yeah. Nothing like this. Makeup, too. Just… the rules, I guess.” Your casual reply suggests much more underneath the surface, but you just stare on at Joel’s fingers slightly clumsily painting along your fingernails.

“Y’all had a lot of rules in that community, blossom.” A statement. Fact. One you can’t deny or defend, a skill you’ve developed to rationalize your entire life in the confines of your mind over the years.

You shrug your free shoulder and twist your lips. “I guess… What about here, I have lots of rules,” you dare to say, quickly biting your lip to silence yourself. 

Joel pauses and glances up, unreadable as always. “Y’do. But you’re allowed to do what you want, baby. I jus’ want you to respect me and know who you belong to. S’all, not these crazy rules like those folks had.”

You nod slowly, pondering his words - he had a point, you suppose, when he puts it like that. 

“An’ your group, there was a leader there?” Joel questions, getting back to work on your nails, carefully dipping the polish and tracing it along your fingernails. 

“Y-yeah… how’d you know that?”

Joel ignores your question, continuing on with more urgency, and you’re not quite sure what he’s getting at with all of these questions. “Tell me more. Did he… mm, enforce the rules? Talk to ya privately at all?”

“You knew it was a he…”

“‘Course it was a he, this is a cu-“ Joel pauses in the midst of his irritated snap. His free hand slides along the back of his neck in one swipe before it comes back to the edge of the tub. “Yeah, baby, I jus’ figured.”

“Why are you asking so many questions?” you spill out anxiously, your voice dimming to a quiet whisper, the air becoming too thick to breathe, like you can sense an oncoming storm. 

“Jus’ tell me more,” Joel demands. “Please, darlin’,” he adds on a little more patiently, softening for you. 

“W-well yeah. Callum was who we all looked to. Rules and preaching and stuff. And he would come over sometimes, sit and like… talk to me and stuff.” You shrug again, not sure what else Joel is looking for you to say.  

Joel’s jaw ticks slightly and his eyes narrow. His hand freezes above yours, polish brush looking so small in his huge hand. “This Callum, he ever touch you? Lay a hand on you? Do anything like what we do together?”

“N-no!” you cry out, nearly pulling your hand back from him as you sit up straighter. “Daddy I swear, I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve never…” You feel your face warm, recalling the innocence you’d arrived here with just last week. Wondering how much of it would be gone by the end of all of this. 

Joel’s free hand cups your cheek in a flash. “Okay, baby, I know all that, I believe ya. I just needed to check if this man was takin’ advantage of ya.”

You shake your head almost violently, hoping to convince Joel you aren’t lying, because you aren’t. He’s just not always been the most rational when it comes to you, it’s seemed, and you don’t want to give him any reason to get worked up. “I d-don’t think so. I know Harry and Josie, they really liked him, and I think they wanted him to like them back… and like me…”

Joel’s eyes narrow, scouring your words for any hint of hidden meaning behind them. “They ever hurt you? Any of ‘em?”

You’re silent, lips tucked tightly together. Memories flash through your mind and you feel your body tense. Josie’s tight grip on your arm as she dragged you home after you missed your youth class to pet the horses. Harry laying into you after a similar incident. A hazy memory of Callum gripping you by the face a little too hard and inspecting you, like he was sizing you up for something. Your parents scolding you for not believing enough, your father slapping you across the face for questioning why it mattered so much to say a prayer before eating. All you’d ever wanted… was for it to all make sense. To feel like you were being told the honest truth for once. But instead, you felt that the more you asked, the more you questioned, tried to understand things, the further in the dark they’d all shoved you. Claiming it was for the best, the less you knew, the more pure you could be, and you’d never gotten the chance to understand why before it all went to hell. 

“Y-yes… just a little…” you practically whisper, ashamed to admit it. That you’d let yourself be treated that way by all of them, and now by Joel, too. 

Joel is quiet for a few moments, his hulking frame tensing up. He taps your right arm and starts the same painting process on that hand. He’s lost in thought and you can see his lines furrowing deeper on his forehead as his wheels turn. 

Joel suddenly says your name, your real name, not one of his special pet names for you and your eyes go wide, stomach sinking. You want to tell him to stop, to not say what he’s planning to, to keep his secrets and let you live on in ignorance as you have for so much of your life. “I’m gonna tell you somethin’, and I don’t know how you’re gonna like it. But you’ve gotta listen to daddy now, okay?”

Your stomach twists, the bathwater suddenly feeling too hot around you and you squirm. “O-okay…” you mumble, trying to keep yourself steady. 

“I don’t think that your group were good people, baby. You’ve told me all these rules they had, the way they treated you, treated women. An’ I don’t like the thought of how they jus’… kept you in the dark, darlin’. You deserve to be happy.”

“Uh-huh…” you nod, unable to formulate a response beyond that, eyes unblinking as you gape at Joel. 

Joel sighs, licking his lips. “Why d’you think they did that?”

“I-I don’t know. Harry and Josephine were always… trying to make me… more like them. They just… wanted a daughter like them, maybe? They c-can’t have kids…”

“Hmm.” Joel finishes your right hand, capping the nail polish and setting it aside. “They were pretty hard on you?”

You nod, eyes finally looking up to Joel’s face, seeing sympathy for you written there. “They wanted me to be a good member of the community… real badly. Prayers every day and recitations and rules and… all of it. Like I was harder to get through to, more bad than the other girls…” You shake your head, remembering the droll afternoons you’d spent staring out the window of their home as Josephine urged you to do just one more lesson, never letting up even when you’d begged to give your mind a much needed break. “Was gonna be the best girl there when they were done with me, they said…” Your voice cracks and you sniffle suddenly, not even realizing you’d started tearing up. 

“Okay, little one, it’s okay. No more memories of that right now. Just…” Joel pauses, his mouth hanging open slightly as he debates his next words. With a sigh, he gives up, opting to just blurt out his next words. “They’re a cult, baby.”

“Cult?” you ask, perplexed, voice still shaky.

“Yeah, didn’t think you’d have heard that word before if they could help it,” he mutters in reply. Joel’s eyes almost look crazed, and he grabs you by the cheeks, keeping your attention fully focused on him with a sudden resolve across his features. “They’re bad folks, that’s all. That man, that Callum, all he wants is power, in whatever way he can get it. Y’understand? Gettin’ folks to be desperate enough to look to him, give them somethin’ to believe in. False… hope. Easier in times like these even, with the world as shit as it is, than in the old days.”

You just stare at Joel, trying to understand exactly what he’s saying, what all of it means for you. “They’re not good people? They seemed so… charitable… that was… they always wanted to help people. They helped me…” you trail off, eyes drifting away from Joel’s face, fixating on the faded and worn tiles along the wall of the bathtub as your mind races. 

“Helped you by lettin’ you live, feedin’ you, puttin’ their false purposes and beliefs onto you. But they held you back. All people like them want is to keep their power or gain more of it. An’ take it from sweet little ones like you, jus’ use you as a pawn in their game, not let you express yourself like daddy would.”

You glance back at Joel feeling heavier, knowing there’s a concerned frown plastered on your face. You shake your head a little, tears gathering on the rims of your eyes. These people you’d trusted, known for almost your whole life, and yet… If what Joel said was true they were all just manipulators, power hungry, looking out for their own meals. Joel uses his thumbs to wipe your cheeks, picking up the streaks of tears trailing downwards.

“P-please, daddy… I don’t wanna hear any more…” you say, pouting, your voice starting to waver. “It’s hard…. to believe. I j-just thought I knew them… thought that they were what the world was… I’m s-so…” You lose your words in the moment, just feeling an overwhelming, profound sadness washing over you at the loss. You’d already accepted the way you’d lost your community in the physical sense after the attack, after finding Joel’s cabin and realizing you were more likely stuck here for the foreseeable future. But realizing that you possibly couldn’t bring yourself to go back there knowing what you know now, it makes your chest tighten with a pang of despair and homesickness for a home you’d never really had. You almost refuse to believe it, want to chalk it up to another one of Joel’s games, that he must be over exaggerating just how bad they really were.

Joel’s hands cradle your head again, his body moving forward to crush his forehead against yours. “S’okay to be sad, you know that? It’s a hard truth but one you gotta hear, my sweet one. I’m sorry it had to be this way. Daddy’s real sorry.”

You nod, letting Joel’s large palms warm your cheeks in the comforting embrace, the smell of him permeating at such a close distance right now. One large inhale of his musk, an intimate scent to you now, brings you back to earth, tames you.

“All I’m ever gonna ask ‘f you is to show me respect w’those rules, mkay? Nothin’ more. They might seem tough sometimes, I know. Hell, they might even seem jus’ as bad as their rules to you, but they ain’t, and you’ll come to learn that. You know what the difference is, hm?”

You shake your head, curious eyes on Joel’s as your tears start to dry. “W-what is it?”

“I care about you. I do it ‘cause it’s what you need, what you really want. An’ for good reasons. Not all that bullshit. You want to be a good girl for daddy, make me happy, make us happy, don’t you?”

“I do, swear, sir…” you reply breathlessly, nodding. “I don’t want…” You swallow hard, realizing you were about to admit that you don’t want to see them again, but you aren’t sure you can promise something that big just yet. It hurts, wondering if it would be the right decision, or if Joel is just as bad as them, just as likely to use you as a pawn in his own game. You feel a surge of heat rush over you, your skin lava hot for a flash as if Joel could read your mind, catch the doubt that flashes through it.

“I like being safe here with you,” you settle on instead, smiling softly at Joel.

Joel smiles back, clasping the palms of your hands in his, careful not to touch your still drying nails. “An’ you always will be. I got you, baby. You don’t think I’m like them, now, do you?”

You feel sick, stomach clenched and turning while your head spins. Maybe Joel is right. You have the freedom here to find yourself. The freedom to believe what you want, as long as you believe in him above all else. To do as you please, even if it’s within those small guidelines he’d laid out for you. It’s nothing like the long lists of ways to behave and act that you were used to - the endless prayers, passages on how to be the most virtuous girl, followed by the guilt and shame of being unsure of how you could ever live up to it. Here, it’s just one piece of paper - ways to make the both of you happy, allow you to rest your weary mind and show Joel that you’re thankful for the way he’s saved you. You quickly shake your head no before you take too long of a pause to answer. 

“No, daddy. You’re not,” you say decidedly, believing it. You have to, if you’re going to get through this.

“Good.” Joel’s lips turn up a little and he picks up your left hand, starting to blow softly on the nails. “Here, blow.” He nods to your right hand for you to do the same thing, so you bring it to your lips and blow softly. 

“You never have to see them again, blossom. You’re all mine now, remember?” Joel’s voice has a hint of teasing, like he wants to lighten the mood for you, and you’re more than willing to take him up on it right now. Your mind feels fried, wrecked beyond return for the day already, and you want to fall into Joel’s comforts, the way he takes away the way your mind races too much, swirling with enough worries to fill a lifetime.

“Yeah.” Soft and quiet, confirming it with a coy little smile as you drop your head towards your shoulder, giving him a wanton look and relaxing your body, stretching your legs out a little underneath the water, sending ripples across the surface. “I’m all yours.” The words feel better on your tongue than they ever have after this revelation. Only Joel, you think, only he would have the guts to tell you like it was like that, to share the truth with you. It showed some kind of respect, didn’t it? That he didn’t just hide this to spare your fragile, broken feelings. He knows how vulnerable you are, how green you’ve been raised to be, yet he thought you could handle it, that you deserved to hear what you’d been in the dark about your entire life. 

Joel’s eyes narrow a bit and he looks at you with a curiosity you haven’t quite seen from him before. “You mean that,” he says with that same curiosity in his voice, and you don’t know how he can tell, but he’s right. You had meant what you said - ready to start this new chapter of your life despite the reservations you had about Joel’s methods at times, you were ready to try. With Joel seeming unwilling to let you go anyways, you figure your best chance is to learn from him, maybe even enjoy the time you spend together, the pleasure he gives you. You like it when he sees you as good, his good girl, your skin tingling at just the thought of it. 

“I do,” you reply a little coyly, flashing him a tight lipped smile. You’re suddenly very aware of your body, the nakedness of it now as the water gently laps at you, your nipples hardening slightly as Joel’s eyes slip down towards them with a hunger in his gaze.

“Is my blossom comin’ onto me?” Joel teases, craning his neck forwards to kiss you. You giggle into his lips, kissing him back.

“N-no. I’m a good girl, remember?” You feel your heart beating wildly, testing even your own limits with how sensual you can be without losing confidence. You fight the urge to laugh, wanting, craving, to be something sexy for once in your life. More than a number, a shapeless thing to be conquered into virtuousness.

Joel bites his lip. “Where’d you learn to become a little fuckin’ tease like that?” he responds incredulously, inching his hand over the side of the tub and into the water. You clock it immediately, your thighs tightening in anticipation at the coming pleasure. Your body screams for it now after days apart, your mind equally eager to learn more from him. For once in your life, a lesson that actually intrigues you, an education that may feel worth experiencing, may make you feel valued, right. 

If being removed from it all for just a few short weeks was enough to change your way of thinking like this, to stop the daily prayers and the virtuous desperation from pouring out of you, was it ever really you?

The minute Joel’s fingers part your soft, velvet folds, completely unaware of the battle inside of your warring head, the chaos fades away, disappearing completely. 

Just like you seem to be. 

Message for you 💌📞

Pick a picture for a message you need to hear right now.

PILE ONE: Knight of pentacles, The Lovers, Death reversed.

Pile one the thing or person you're obssessed with is not as bad for you as you think it is/they are. They're serving as inspiration for you to work harder. You've been resisting change and wanting help for a long time and this thing could be the catalyst that pushes you past the threshold. For a lot of you this is a lover/deep friendship connection who pushes you to develop yourself and work on your goals.

PILE TWO: Knight of swords reversed, Nine of cups reversed, Three of cups.

Pile two you can't do it all alone. You've been dissapointed by people before but that doesn't mean that the right person to help you succeed won't come along eventually. You're feeling frustrated because you have so much inspiration and creativity but you may feel like you can never channel it properly. There's dissatisfaction at your current state in life. You feel like you have all the tools but somethings just not right. You may find yourself asking; It's supposed to work out so WHY ISN'T IT? What you're missing is collaboration and a broader perspective. Allow people to lift you up.

PILE THREE: The Sun, King of Pentacles

Pile three you're someone who can see the ugly parts of life but shrug them off like water down your back. You know how to live with the evil parts of the world and how not to let them affect your life. The message for you is that you've been doing great! You're wroking hard towards your 'Mission.' I'm getting that you want a better future for your community and specifically for your children and family. You want to bring them up to a higher level through any means necessary. You're an earthy and sociable person pile 3, you're a hustler, a modern day warrior. Keep it up!

***

That's all! I'd love to know how the messages are received so feel free to comment any feedback you have!

Was having a HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, AWFUL, EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING DAY

But good music helped soothe myself .

Here’s the loop of great music, for my not so good day 🙂

I really hope you’re still doing prompts but if not, I completely understand. Anyway, I was wondering if you could do a stevetony one where they’re having an argument and Steve goes too far and hurts Tony’s feelings?? Obviously they make up because they’re them but I love me some slight angst.

“I didn’t mean it,” Steve sighed, his gaze on Tony’s side profile as Tony stared straight out to the city in front of them.

“I know,” Tony said softly, but he made no movement to face Steve.

“I was mad. That’s not an excuse, but I swear I didn’t mean it.”

“I know,” Tony said again.

Steve paused, eyes flicking over what he could see of his partner’s face. It wasn’t like Tony to be so calm after an argument, especially not one where they’d shouted such cutting things at each other. There probably weren’t many people who didn’t know about Tony’s deep-rooted insecurities, so Steve was suspicious at the easy acceptance.

“Well,” he said, trailing off slightly as the wind dropped from his sails. He’d been expecting to have to fight again. Steve turned to look out at the skyline and leant forward to rest on the glass wall of the balcony. “Good.”

“Mhm.”

They fell silent. Cars rushed past way, way down on the street and low sounds of shouts and cries and laughter filtered up to their small bubble. A subtle breeze caught a strand or two of hair, making them flutter on Steve’s forehead.

“I love you.”

Steve didn’t startle at Tony’s soft, hushed words, though he did turn his head to look at his husband when Tony carried on talking.

“You hurt me. You have to make it up to me.”

“Anything.” Steve took a step towards Tony. “I’d do anything you asked.”

“A dinner date.”

That was unexpected. “Yes. Of course. Tonight,” he said. “I’ll take you tonight. Anywhere.”

“And I want you to hold my hand.” Tony’s voice was calm, steady. His gaze hadn’t moved from the skyline, even as Steve bore holes in the side of his head. “In front of whatever cameras are around.”

“Without hesitating.”

The corners of Tony’s mouth turned up ever so slightly and Steve felt as though he could finally breathe again.

“I’m going to order the most expensive thing on the menu.”

Steve chuckled and slid his hand over the railing until it was a hair’s width away from Tony’s. “I’d expect nothing less.”

There was a beat and then Tony’s pinky finger stretched and touched the side of Steve’s hand.

“Lobster. Champagne.”

“Oysters,” Steve continued, tone light but heart beating an insane beat in his chest, “steak.”

“And I’ll send it all back at least three times.”

Steve caught Tony’s finger in his palm, curling his own fingers around the digit. “I won’t stop you.”

“Good.”

They fell into another long silence. To Steve’s joy, Tony made no attempt to take his hand away. The sounds from the street below didn’t seem too invasive; more of a background hum. Still looking at Tony, Steve squeezed his hand.

“I love you,” he said. “I know you know and I know I didn’t act like it, but I do.”

Tony finally turned to face Steve. His smile wasn’t wide, but it did reach his eyes. “I know.”

“Good.” Steve took a step forward. “And I’m sorry.”

“Caviar,” Tony said in response, smile suddenly growing as he brushed his nose against Steve’s cheek. “Lots and lots of caviar.”

Eyo my dragon age friends. I was wondering if anybody had any recommendations for some longer zevwarden or solavellan fics?

I'm going on a family vacation soon that is going to Be A Lot with No Escape From Familial Socialisation and no connection to the outside world, so am probably going to need my emotional support blorbos to get me through it T-T

so I made a which member of the fellowship are you quiz

feel free to come yell at me if you get a result you don’t want

Just finished watching to all the boys i loved ps I still love you and I am just gonna sit over a corner and cry bc I loved it 😭