Jeno Angst - Tumblr Posts

countdown (lee jeno)

countdown (lee jeno)

pairing: lee jeno x reader

word count: 1k words

content: angst

notes: lowercase intended. this isn’t proofread. i hope you like this <3 

this is inspired by the song “never the 1” by rosie.

https://open.spotify.com/track/3gk96wClxx6rbSOpxXUc5O?si=wev0PfRoSsGQIJTiADDFMA

i could write 10 songs about 9 ways you fucked me over.

“y/n, are you okay?” jaemin asks. you give him a nod while staring at your table filled with papers full of lyrics. “you’ve been writing a lot,” you give him a confused look. you’ve always loved writing songs, so this shouldn’t be a surprise to him. “no no, don’t get me wrong,” he gives a small chuckle. “but these lyrics, are you sure you’re okay?” he asks once again as he picks up a piece of paper and scans through the words written. you look up to him and let out a sigh. “writing is my only escape, jaemin,” you tell him as tears start to form in your eyes. he gives you a small smile, and gives you a hug as you cry on his shoulder. “i’ll talk to jeno for you, will that be alright?” he asks and you start to panic. you shake your head and look back at him, “no, you don’t have to. i’ll be fine, he clearly made his decision.”

only took you 8 days to forget 7 months together.

“hey, isn’t that jeno?” yeri asks. you look at where she was looking, and saw jeno with a girl. he can’t possibly be with a girl after everything you’ve been through, right? “oh” was all you could say to her. “do you know who she is?” you ask her. she shrugs and asks, “how long have you been together?” “yeri, you know we aren’t-” she cuts you off, “y/n, darling, you keep telling us you aren’t together, but you are practically together. everyone knows that by now, so how long have you been doing your thing with him?” “7 months, but we really aren’t together. he,” you pause and look at where jeno is. he’s smiling so wide, you could hear the sound of his laughter by the way his eyes smile, “he never really asked, you know that.”

your relationship with jeno is complicated, but everyone just assumed that you were both together. as much as you want to feel secured by the way he talks, by the way he holds you hand, the way he kisses every part of your face, the way he reminds you he loves you, you can’t. you can’t feel secured because there is no label. do you have the right to get jealous and mad at him when you’re not officially together?

we were wrapped til 6 in the morning, 5 days a week.

“hey baby,” jeno comes in your apartment and gives a peck on your lips. you give him a smile and look back at the television. “how was your day?” he asks as he cuddles you. we aren’t together, you tell yourself. “it’s been good,” you say passively. he reaches out for your hand, and you instinctively stood up. “i’m going to get water,” you tell him as he gives you a confused look. “are you mad at me?” he asks as he follows you to the kitchen. you let out a sigh, and face him. “jeno, why are you here?” “baby-“ “don’t you want to stay with the girl you were with awhile ago?” you tell him bitterly. you really didn’t mean to say that, your emotions were just at its peak. jeno lets out a chuckle and pulls you into a hug and kisses your forehead. “baby, you know i love you, right? you’re my favorite person.” you should have known when he said that you’re his favorite person that there were other people. you should have known, but instead you wake up at 6 in the morning with his beautiful face in front of you. this has been your routine for the past 7 months. him, sleeping peacefully on your bed, beside you during the weekdays every week.

you said 4ever and left before i counted to 3

“i will love you forever. i am staying by your side forever, don’t forget that y/n,” jeno says as he caressed your face. his words and sweet voice repeatedly play on your mind as you see him, lee jeno, kissing a girl in your favorite café. you try your best to hold back your tears, and if it weren’t for jaemin and mark, you would have been crying your eyes out in the middle of the sidewalk. “hey y/n! how are yo-“ jaemin stops as he sees your state. “hey, are you okay?” “what happened?” they ask, but all you could do is cry. they look around and saw jeno, and they automatically knew what’s wrong. “let’s go to our place, okay?” mark says as he and jaemin guide you to their car.

loved you a little 2 much, but i was never the 1

mark and jaemin tried their best to comfort you, but you assure them that everything was fine. you weren’t though. how could you be so stupid. you should have known. the door suddenly opens and you saw jeno and hear him happily say, “mark! naeun came back from the states, and we’re back together. we met up-“ he stops when he sees your fragile state. “y/n” he whispers. you give him a sad smile. “jeno, you asshole! how can you do this to-“ mark starts, but you stood up and give them a smile. “mark, don’t worry. thank you to the both of you, but i’m fine, really.” you let out a small laugh and look back at jeno. “uhm, call me when you’re about to get your things at my place” “y/n…” “oh, i could just drop them here tomorrow.” you give him a smile and left. before they could even stop you, you were now running out of their apartment on the way home.

when you arrive back at home that’s when you start crying your eyes out. you should have known that jeno was never yours. 7 months with no label, how did you even handle that? you should have known when he said that you were his favorite that there were other people. you should have known that you were just someone he used for when he’s lonely. you should have known you were never the one, but fuck you were so in love with him and this is what your love for him got you.

pretty sure (lee jeno)

lowercase intended. not proofread.

note: okay when i said i had a lot of drabbles, i mean two... lmao. i have other writings here but these are series, but i want to post it once i finish writing the whole thing or even half of it, so updates wont be slow. i have three pending writings tho might write it later. im open for requests now, but dont expect for fast updates, but i’ll try my best to do it (except smut).

“jeno is over there, go say hi,” jennie nudges my arm. “are you kidding me? no way!” i roll my eyes as we walk the hallway. you see, lee jeno has been your crush for about two years now, but you never shoot your shot. how could you? he’s the school’s ‘it boy’ as what they would call him. he also had a reputation of ignoring every girl that would confess to him. why would you even risk not ever speaking to him again even though you never had a conversation— well maybe except for that one time he accidentally spilled his soda on you.

“oh my god, i’m so sorry,” jeno says, immediately taking his jacket off and handing it to you. “it’s fine. no need for that,” you tell him, trying not to stutter, trying your best not to look at him. “it’s fine, take it,” you look at him and here he is giving you the puppy eyes. oh god, why is he so beautiful? “it’s fine. i’ll just go home, it’s 5 minutes away from here anyway.” before you could walk away, you hear him talk, “i’m really sorry, y/n!” he knows your name. the lee jeno knows your name. you chuckle, and looked at his soda bottle, “you should probably not drink soda this early morning though, it’s bad for you,” your eyes widen at what you just said. you quickly look at him and he has this confused look on his face, so you immediately left— you messed up.

“come on! just wave at him,” jennie teases. “he probably thinks i’m some weird girl, no way!” “jesus, have some courage y/n!” yeri tells you. you look at jeno one last time— maybe you stared a little, and he catches you doing so. you panicked and just gave him a wave. you notice his group of friends laughing at him when they see you, so you hurried out the hallway. fuck. his group knows you like him. you’re pretty sure they do.

“so, ms. soda girl waved at you,” haechan teases. jeno rolls his eyes, “shut up, donghyuck.” “why don’t you just go talk to her?” jaemin asks. “i spilled soda over her at six in the morning, she hates me, i’m pretty sure she does,” jeno tells them. “you should have walked her home and offered to grab some lunch. you missed a great opportunity,” haechan tells him. “for a pretty smart student like you, you are so slow when it comes to love. how long have you liked her again?” renjun asks. 4 years. it’s been four years since he liked you, and he messed it up. he’s pretty sure you will never reciprocate his feelings now. heck, you probably might not even want to talk to him— look at how you hurried out the hallway. he’s pretty sure you hate him.

🌹🌹𝔧𝔢𝔫𝔬 & 𝔥𝔞𝔢𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔨𝔢𝔯🌹🌹

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔢𝔪𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔰𝔬𝔬𝔫…

𝔚𝔄ℜ𝔑ℑ𝔑𝔊 : 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔰𝔢𝔵𝔲𝔞𝔩 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔳𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢. 𝔦𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔰𝔬𝔯𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔟𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢 𝔡𝔬𝔫’𝔱 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡

left for a revolution

title: left for a revolution

pairing: jeno & reader

genre: angst, angst, angst

summary: the boy she loves leaves her for a revolution.

author’s note: a small drabble i wrote while procrastinating. loosely based off revolution novels - not rlly historical based and purposely very vague as it is left for your interpretation.

He was her entire galaxy. The stars were smeared in his hair, moon dust filled his lungs, and she never knew the universe had a flavor until she kissed him. He may not have conquered the sun, but he had already conquered her heart years ago.

She thinks she’s always been in love with Lee Jeno. It has been a fundamental part of her since she was five.

She just wishes their circumstances were different — that he wasn’t the rebel with a hero complex and she wasn’t the pacifist with helpless parents weighting down on her shoulders.

Now, she won’t ever see how good old age looks on him. She won’t hear the sleepy words he murmurs under his breath when he thinks she’s asleep. The endearing behaviour he exhibits whenever he’s drunk past his tolerance level. 

(”Hold me,” he whines in her ear, stumbling over his steps. His hands reach for her, tightly curling his fingers into the edge of her shirt.

She interlaces their fingers together while muffling a chuckle. Pressing a small kiss on the corner of his mouth which earns her a satisfied smile from him.

“Alright, alright, you big baby,” she gently teases, running her fingers through the dark strands of his hair. He instinctively leans into her touch.

“But I’m your baby.” He crookedly grins back with adoration emitting from his gaze.)

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, grasping her tightly to his chest. There’s a tightening sensation gripping her heart and she’s suffocating. The air escapes her lungs and she feels like she’s grabbing on to a mirage of a lifeline, falling into an endless pit of utter oblivion. She drowns in his embrace, his touch, his presence, the tears falling down his face which intermix with the ones on hers, because this is the last time she’ll ever see him again.

He promises to return, but they both know, it’s nothing but a lie. She inhales a shaking breath, her mind zeroing on him—trying to memorize every edge, curve, and fragment of him. A memory is only thing she can keep.

And eventually, she’ll forget the brown tint of his irises, the way his eyes crinkle into small crescent moons when he’s happy, the sound of his laughter when he finds her little shenanigans amusing especially when it ends up with a kiss on his nose and cheek, and the soft but steady drum of his heartbeat that beats in time with hers.

The boy she loves leaves her for a revolution and she doesn’t think she can ever forgive him for that.

fic rec ♡

third time making this, i read a good amount of fics so i though why not share them with you. 

making part 2 because i observed that if its too long mobile devices might glitch. 

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

nct: female member. making a separate list for this bc i love it so much 

nari by @multifandom-01

hannah by @ggukkiedae

noeul by @nct-noeul (i don’t know if i tagged the right person for noeul and reina, but i know that these two are made by the same person but posted on different accounts? correct me if i’m wrong. i feel stupid hehe)

reina @hirareinahara

boyoung by @multifandom-02

jaehyun

Save Those Tears | a by @nct-neoculture

We Got Married | f by @nct-neoculture

Jaehyun + boss kink? (idk the title hehe) | s by @maknaesdancersrappers

spooky sex | s by @nightjung

5:26 |  f by @dont-look-down-on-me

shy boyfriend!jaehyun | f by @starsuh

24:09 | f by @romeozs

just friends 1, just friends 2 | f s by @ahgase55g7

back to you | f a by @svnthxsense

10:38 pm | s by @junghoe

amour holiday | s by @nightjung

loverboy | f s by @blu-blooded

summer haze | f s a by @dreaminghaos

first times | s a by @moonctzeny

too late, can we fix this | f a by @ddeonghwaa

love me or leave me | a by @tyongxnct

10:12 am | f by @ppangjae

while we’re young | teenage angst? by @jenosjupi

the most beautiful things | f s by @jenosjupi

1:02 am | f by @suhweetdreams

location | s by @kokobussy

no title | f by @jungstruly

no title | f by @notnctu

jaemin

1:45 | by @jensungf

jeno

helping hands | f by @lucaswithnoshirt

this is how you broke jeno’s heart | f a s by @alreadyblondenow

lucas

latte macchiato | f by @dawnwritesit

mark

flat | f by @jaeminscoffee

jungkook

i’m cold | f by @kooks3uphoria

stay professional | s a f by @btsfanficss 

fervor | a f by @jungkookfluff

my time | f s by @jjkxla

edacity | f s by @jjungkooksthighs

red sus | f s by @untaemedqueen

you’re evil, you know that? | f a by @honeytae

skirt chaser | f s by @1kook

banana pancakes | f s by @softyoongiionly

no title | s by @lavishedinjimin

easy | f a by @itsamejin

in your eyes | f s a by @sweetaesuga

hopeless heart | f by @cupofteaguk

the jorts | f s by @gukslut

just one kiss | f s by @bangtsblossom

on camera | s by @agustdiv1ne

bounce | s by @jeonsweetpea

yugyeom

can you turn around | a by @taexual

tape 69 | f s by @jj-ktae

ps. feel free to recommend your fav fics, i would read it even if we still have online school. 

pss. i still have many more fics to recommend but i’ll put it in part 2 nalang.

and for the writers, thanking you for writing a wonderful piece. keep safe and take care please.

fic rec iii ♡

part i and ii here.

finally, finally finished two ng last two exams today and i though why not used my remaining time compiling part iii, so here it is. enjoy!

i’ll will also start reblogging later after i post this. 

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet. 

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

sm for social media

// for series or list

jaehyun

once again | f a by @smoll-tangerine

gift galore | s f by @nctsworld

12:01 am | s by @neoct-zen

6:42 pm | s by  @neoct-zen

my little pea | f by @kireimarkeu

bad day | s by @domjaehyun

condom test | s by @starryhyuck

// gold painted canvas | f \\ by @hannie-dul-set

no title | a f by @jadedjaehyun

full house | s by @dimplyjae-archive

what happened to us 1 2 | a by @softdreamyhours

study sessions | s by @xiaomoon

enough | s f by @jaeminscoffee

parasido | f a by @caiuscassiuss

no title | f by @ppangjae

please, please, please | a f s by @dreaminghaos

// white champagne | f s a by @leesmrk

falling in love at a coffee shop | f by @jungcity

reaching out | f s by @thenctaddict

no title | f by @ppangjae

friends 1 2 | f a by @masjestickingdom

just got married | f a by @alreadyblondenow

bathing in love | f by @softsungchan

jungkook

after hours | s by @zibermuda

no title | f by @jjkxla

jeno

12:03 pm | f by @dont-look-down-on-me

dom antics | s f by @cherrysung

9:09 pm | s by @chansungies

domestic | f by @suhweetdreams

pavlov and ponytails | f s by @hyucksie

10:05 pm | f by @jaemericano

6:45 pm | f by @chaeryybomb

10 things i know about you | f by @asthmark

young love | f a by @serendipityseulgi 

singing in the rain | s f by @lybomb

birthday sex | s by @moonlit-jeno

eventually | f s a by @angelicmark

classmate jeno | f s by @smutbymia

wakey wakey | s by @jenonctcity

like i need you | f s by @dimplyjae-archive

no title | s by @strayscenes

no title | f by @theleemark

0 miles away | f s by @neovisioned

sugar & spice | f by @jensungf

9:36 am  | f by @haerinos

taste of intimacy | f a by @000609

no title | f  a by @gohyuck

persistent | f by @softyn

la la love | f by @chittapornswife

walk you home | f by @berryjaellie

clueless | f by @cozyjae

perfect | f s by @jenoismydad

scent | f by @masterninjacow

soft | f by @masterninjacow

home | f s a by @byunbaekby

jaemin

broadcasting blues | f by @hyuckles-chuckles

no title | f by @chocolvte

little quarantine funs | f by @haechacco

broken hearts club | a f by @nsheetee

next chapter | f by @purple-nana

i still like you a latte | f by @pastelsicheng

doing the bf tag with my bf | f by @luvdsc

180 days | s a by @kkuljaehyun

rollercoaster | f a s by @immabiteyou

sucker for you | f by @hunnyuwu

mark

mark, this is how we broke up | s f a by @alreadyblondenow

cold | f by @thenctaddict

fabric softerner | f a by @kopikokun

just tonight | a by @ijohnnys

from dusk to dawn 1 2 | f s a by @solcheeky

august 2nd, 11:43 am | s by @moonlit-jeno

1 sided love | a by @leahswritings

shower thoughts | f by @writemekpop

santorini, greece | f by @marklyxxi

highway to heaven | f s by @cherrysung

in love alone 1 2 by @markshearts

mark lee sucks at technology | f by @luvdsc

taeyong

too hot! hot damn! | f by @luvdsc

mellifluous | s by @jaeminscoffee

changes | a f by @kwanisms

on and off | f a s by @alreadyblondenow

doyoung

quiet love | f by @lebrookestore

soft spot | f by @prettychanyeol

no title | f by @slightlymore

acedia | f by @jaeminscoffee

love the way you lie | a by @writemekpop

no title | f by @neocitybynight

haechan 

i want it and i f*cking got it | f s by @alreadyblondenow

all at once, the happiness i knew 1 2 3 | f a by @taelme

3:50 am | f by @jaefluenza

// 37.5 viewers rating | a f s by @gohyuck

no title | f by @pastelsicheng

no title | f s by @jaemsins

lucas

somnophilia | s by @moonlit-jeno no title | s by @skzctnightnight

off limits | f s by @heartachetosing

college!au | f by @chittsu

drunk in love | f s by @clubyukhei

jisung

better together | f by @jensungf

falling for you | f a by @thanksjaemin

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

to everyone! please take care and keep safe please!

fic rec iv ♡

part i, ii and iii here.

this probably the last fic rec for now, i finally reached the end of my like section (?). thank you for liking my previous fic rec and for supporting the writers!

i also want to tell the reason why i made this fic rec (aside from sharing it to you guys) is for myself, like i don’t have to scroll down on my feed to see the fic that i want to read, it’s more convenient right?

thank you for the writers for keeping entertain because most if this fic i accumulate was at quarantine hehe. 

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

jeno

walk you home | f by @lucas-wongs

first tattoo | s by @hyuckattack

jaemin

1:03 pm | f by @the32ndbeat

regular | s by @leesmrk

sweet talk | f by @hyucksie

overstimulation | s by @orenmin

the chase | f a by @choerrypuffs

i’ll be your home | f s by @baekingpancakes

7:24 pm | f by @nsheetee

mark

can we kiss forever | f s by @rosepetaljaemin

comfortable | f by @asthmark

babe, im cold... | f by @immabiteyou

watermelon sugar high | f by @loviejaehyun

show me love | f by @markswoman

sweet loving | f s a by @angelicmark

baby | f by @127vevo

jaehyun

don’t go to bed | f by @baekhelvetica

no title | f by @solcheeky

[N’14] waiting rooms | f by @solcheeky

in the dark | s by @domjaehyun

comfort | f by @stormae

to jaehyun, my first love | f a by @notnctu

4:15 pm | f by @fullsuh

new things: simple | s f by @moondustis

home run | s by @moondustis

11:20 am | f  by @forehead-enthusiast

a year’s farewell 1 2 | f s by @chogiwank

sunday morning | s by @chogiwank

friday boy i ii | f s by @heartachetosing

redamancy | f a s @icedcappujaeno

wheel of fortune | f by @h2yeri

no will know, unless you let them | s by @i-am-regular-scenarios

needy for you | f by @taecas

// what’s wrong kid | f by @withyounct

no title | f by @ppangjae

i can’t stop kissing you | f by @neo-culture-taste

tree house | f by @jungsin

7:37 am | f by @marklyxxi

hot girl bummer | s by @domjaehyun

domaine de la romanee | a s f by @heartau

9:29 pm | f by @jen-o-jam

flowers | f by @bus-stop-stop-stop

never know | a s f by @ofwolvesandbutterflies

// when icarus falls | a f by @baobaojng

luxury | f a by @nctstudio

no title | f a by @jaeffrey77

no title | f by @jaeffrey77

[19:00] | f by @cupofjae

a picture worth a thousand words | f by @wannanct

[2:42] | f by @poetrlee

[11:50] | f by @goldenscenarios

[3:32 pm] | f s by @lustbile

11:47 pm | f by @nastynct

no title | f sby @strayscenes

[12:36 pm] | f by @withyounct

(don’t) wake up | s by @domjaehyun

mr. jung | s by @domjaehyun

[1:23] | f by @jungsin

[9:42 pm] | s by @forehead-enthusiast

[1:30] | f by @babyflossy

unwind | f by @solcheeky

no title | f by @nsheetee

in your court | f by @boymeetsweevil

12:29 pm | f by @softquian

[3:58 pm] | f by @nctream-archive

just a little bit of your heart | a by @taurusjaehyun

secret dreams | s by @dimplyjae-archive

2:14 pm | f by @luvdsc

[10:59 pm] | a by @nct-jungjaehyun

[4:40] | f by @nct-jungjaehyun

[12:56] | f by @nct-jungjaehyun

[10:48 pm] | f by @nct-jungjaehyun

8:30 pm | f by @lovemenowjjh01

8:00 am | f by @lovemenowjjh01

01:12 am | f by @honeyyu

no title | f by @yttanct

heartstrings | a by @jae-canikeepyou

seville | f by @jae-canikeepyou

oppa knows best 1 2 | s a by @wildernessuntothemselves

we’ll be alright | a f by @yoursinfulurges

[00:03] | f by @elauniesdream

[1:30] | f by @cupofjae

no title | f s by @jungcity

[5:21 pm] | f by @leesmrk

[23:47] | f by @hyucks-archive

[4:14 pm] | f by @sunny-jaes

rainy cuddles with jaehyun | f by @flwrxuxi

no title | f by @jenomark

no title | f by @jackbabewang

no title |s by @sluttyten

too late | a by @ddeonghwaa

no title | f by @jungstruly

ordinary people | f a by @ppangjae

tease | f a s by @whereisten

our playlist | f a by @rendezvousrenjun

no title | f by @jenomark

no title | f by @sluttyten

[10:04 pm] | f by @sunny-jaes

untitled | f by @jungyunos-archive

everything i want | f by @nctream-archive

no title | f by @jackbabewang

jaehyun’s family | f by @okayoonoh

his good girl | f s by @jackbabewang

new to this | f by @jackbabewang

haechan

my hoodie | f by @nsheetee

doyoung 

precaution | f s a by @dreaminghaos

white lace | s by @chogiwank

afterglow | f s a by @epinebleue

blue lace | s by @moondustis

taeyong

red-eye | f by @cirrus-lily

suckers | f a s by @neo-cult-ure

love at first flight | f a by @j-woosderland

an idol’s girl 1 2 | a by @darkneogotmyback

gamer antics | s by @sakuurae

loose ends | a f s by @dreaminghaos

yuta

no title | f by @suhsexual

lucas

chapstick challenge | f by @neo-culture-taste

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links  won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

angst fic rec ♡

angst | angst | angst

please keep in mind that these fics are featured on the fic rec, this is like a compilation of the angst in the fic recs i like okay hehe.

please recommend you fav fics.

posting fluff later and maybe post the pic rec v too, today is officially my last class for this year!

smut | angst | fluff ii

jaehyun

to jaehyun, my first love | f a by @notnctu

redamancy | f a s @icedcappujaeno

domaine de la romanee | a s f by @heartau

never know | a s f by @ofwolvesandbutterflies

// when icarus falls | a f by @baobaojng

luxury | f a by @nctstudio

no title | f a by @jaeffrey77

just a little bit of your heart | a by @taurusjaehyun

[10:59 pm] | a by @nct-jungjaehyun

heartstrings | a by @jae-canikeepyou

oppa knows best 1 2 | s a by @wildernessuntothemselves

we’ll be alright | a f by @yoursinfulurges

too late | a by @ddeonghwaa

ordinary people | f a by @ppangjae

tease | f a s by @whereisten

our playlist | f a by @rendezvousrenjun

once again | f a by @smoll-tangerine

no title | a f by @jadedjaehyun

what happened to us 1 2 | a by @softdreamyhours

parasido | f a by @caiuscassiuss

please, please, please | a f s by @dreaminghaos

// white champagne | f s a by @leesmrk

friends 1 2 | f a by @masjestickingdom

just got married | f a by @alreadyblondenow

no title | a by @sakuurae

// preschool | a f by @jenojam

homebound | a f @kinqjaehyxn

love you goodbye | a s f by @serendipityseulgi

Save Those Tears | a by @nct-neoculture

back to you | f a by @svnthxsense

summer haze | f s a by @dreaminghaos

first times | s a by @moonctzeny

too late, can we fix this | f a by @ddeonghwaa

love me or leave me | a by @tyongxnct

while we’re young | teenage angst? by @jenosjupi

jaemin

the chase | f a by @choerrypuffs 

broken hearts club | a f by @nsheetee

180 days | s a by @kkuljaehyun

rollercoaster | f a s by @immabiteyou

jeno

young love | f a by @serendipityseulgi

eventually | f s a by @angelicmark

taste of intimacy | f a by @000609

no title | f  a by @gohyuck

home | f s a by @byunbaekby

true love | s a by @whereisten

salty | f a by @tastyykpop

my first and last | f a by @tyongxnct

paraluma | f a by @neoiovebot

final match | f a by @arietaurumini

this is how you broke jeno’s heart | f a s by @alreadyblondenow

mark

sweet loving | f s a by @angelicmark 

mark, this is how we broke up | s f a by @alreadyblondenow

fabric softerner | f a by @kopikokun

just tonight | a by @ijohnnys

from dusk to dawn 1 2 | f s a by @solcheeky

1 sided love | a by @leahswritings

in love alone 1 2 | a by @markshearts

jungkook

make it right | s a by @jungkxook

first time together | s a by @httpjeon

beast | f s a by @ephemeralkookie

breathe | f s a by @ephemeralkookie

be mine | a f s by @staerrylights

crush | f a by @jungxkookiee

stay professional | s a f by @btsfanficss

fervor | a f by @jungkookfluff

you’re evil, you know that? | f a by @honeytae

easy | f a by @itsamejin

in your eyes | f s a by @sweetaesuga

yugyeom

can you turn around | a by @taexual

doyoung

precaution | f s a by @dreaminghaos

afterglow | f s a by @epinebleue

love the way you lie | a by @writemekpop

no title | a by @slightlymore

collapsing together as the dawn breaks | f a by @slightlymore

taeyong

reasons why i can’t forget you | a f by @taeyongtime

finale of the longing heart | a f by @taeyongtime

changes | a f by @kwanisms

doyoung

precaution | f s a by @dreaminghaos

afterglow | f s a by @epinebleue

on and off | f a s by @alreadyblondenow

haechan

all at once, the happiness i knew 1 2 3 | f a by @taelme

// 37.5 viewers rating | a f s by @gohyuck

jisung

falling for you | f a by @thanksjaemin

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

have a merry christmas and a happy new year everyone!!!

fic rec v ♡

it’s finally christmas break and i have a lot of timeee, although i still have one school work that I have to pass next year but whatever, i wanna enjoy my christmas break hehe. 

this is a new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones. 

read and support the fic and authors here: the fic rec ♡

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

kpop oc/s

choi elle by @twicelle

jaehyun

push and pull | a s f by @baobaojng

[19:21] | a by @moonttaeil

내게돌아와 1 2 3 | f a by @dejvns

the one with the keycard | f by @mistymark

you don’t deserve me | f a s by @timelvss

the prince’s mistake | a by @jungsin

ceo!jaehyun 1 2 | f by @nsheetee

honesty is the best policy | s f a by @chocojaehyun

no title | s by @smutbymia

five more minutes by @sehunniepotwrites

red | s by @euphoricsunflowers

headbands | f by @okayoonoh

unsuspecting activities | f s by @yer-cute-when-you-scream

gifts galore | f s  by @nctsworld

[12:02 am] | s by @neoct-zen

[6:42] | s by @neoct-zen

my little pea | f by @kireimarkeu

online cuddles | f by @jaehyunsuh

[8:14] | f by @nctauvision

no title | s by @ncteaxhoe

// 34+35 | s by @jaehyunspeachparty

[n’- 198] | fby @solcheeky

after wedding shenanigans | f s by @jaeminscoffee

// babies in the snow | f by @jaehyunspeachparty

chocolatey anniversary | f by @neoiovebot

glasses | f by @multikpopwriter

jungkook

golden | f a by @casuallyimagining

can we recover | by @bts-hyperfixation

daydreams | s by @voidswan

no title by | a f @angelguk

savage love | s by @whatifyoulivelikethat

cancelled | s by @zibermuda

stay quiet  | s by @hobidreams

action: fucking on the edge | s by @prolixitae

flower tattoo | f s by @writerofbts

hurts good | s f a by @mercurygguk

midnight fun | f s by @mercurygguk

lock & key | f a by @farfromsugafanfic

salacious ink | f s by @minsugams

little swan | f s by @ephemeralkookie

just ask | s f by @evilkookie

pretty boy | s f by @inkedtae

eros | s by @inkedtae

my type | s by @guktro

yummy | s by @btsracket

light wash | s by @btsracket

milk and cookies | s by @btsracket

mutual | s by @seokjxnnie

no title | s by @jungkookiebus

quiet rides | f s by @inkedtae

// day after day | s f a by @fakeleaves

to the moon and back | a f by @adonis-koo

hair | f by @seakay05

and a hard place: meet the parents | f by @minloop

unapologetic aegyo | s by @minloop

something comforting | f by @yeojaa

jungwoo

[8:21] | f by @dejvns

jeno

no title | f by @ncteaxhoe

[12:29] | f s by @hyucksong

lullaby | f by @jungnoir 

there’s no place like you| f s by @sehunniepotwrites

baby it’s cold inside | f s by @alreadyblondenow

day 33 | s by @seungmoomin

to love and to cherish | f a by @j-woosderland

love shot | f by @raibebe

lucas 

there’s stars in your eyes, my love | f by @chwetuan

no title | s by @papergirllife

lessons | f s by @neosincity

unwrapping you | s f by @alreadyblondenow

haechan

silent treatment | f a by @hyucksie

all of our friends know | f a s by @renjunfromthestars

petty fights | f a by @neoiovebot

mark 

memories of you | a by @leesmrk

1:01 am | f by @imjustuhhvibing

behind the bright stage | a by @neoiovebot

doyoung 

what do we do know? | f by @okayoonoh

the trust fun baby 1 2 | f a s by @moonttaeil

say ‘yes’ to me | f by @neo-culture-taste

no title | f by @lebrookestore

siblings? with haechan? ...no, not him. never | f by @unmanageable-day

johnny

another clothing haul video | f by @neo-culture-taste

no title | s by @xiaomoon

no title | f s  by @jenomark

[22:15] | f by @moonttaeil

not over yet | f by @jeongvision

34+35 | f s by @kkuljaehyun

no title | f by @saturnznct

a day in the suh household | f by @neoiovebot

no title | f by @neo-couture

fish day saturday | f by @helstrome

taehyung

singularity | s f by @jungkookiebus

baby, i | f s a by @jiminsfault

direct messagae | f by @out-of-jams

enough games | f s by @inkedtae

ruin you | f s byb @ephemeralkookie

sungchan

luckier | f by @rosyrenjun

yugyeom

super in love | f by @bubblebeom

yoongi

baby’s first crush | f by @hobisbeautifulass

jaemin

short and sweet | f s by @markresonates

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

have a merry christmas and a happy new year everyone!!!

fic rec vi ♡

hi!

this is a another new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones.

made some changes like tidying up a bit and adding summary, for those that doesn’t have any summary i’ll try my best to add my own summary (it will probably be shit tho, i ain’t making a smut summary guys, i’m not confident in my describing a fic ability but i’ll try my best. if its in italic it means i made the summary hehez )  if the summary is shit, i made it okay.

read and support the fic and authors here: the fic rec ♡

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

nct 

jeno

no title by @tyongf-nct | s

- smut blurb.

body guards and boyfriend by @pastelsicheng | f

-  sometimes the only way you can really get some alone time with your boyfriend is by making his job hard.

lipstick smears by @kopikokun | f

-  jeno never thought trying to get his makeup artist’s attention would be this hard.

jaehyun

[10:30] by @moonttaeil | 

- a lockdown moment.

[2:40] by @nct-jungjaehyun | f a

- cute quality fluff time with bf!jae with a dash of angst.

[11:41] by @jeongvision | f 

- family time with apples.

just like magic by @starryhyuck | f s

-  jung jaehyun’s body count is almost as high as yours. however, after yuta spreads a nasty rumor, you learn that jaehyun’s always imagined those girls to be you instead.

love to hate me by @moonctzeny | s a 

-  you and jaehyun meet as sm trainees, developing a friendship until he debuts and you decided to leave the company and pursue a solo career. when you reunite again in a music show and he acts like he barely knows you, you stubbornly begin a series of hate-brimmed sex rendez-vous. your touch-and-go relationship continues on, until a song collaboration will force you both to deal with all your repressed feelings for each other.

moving on by @ddeonghwaa | f a

- reader has been chasing jae for some time but when she moved on jae suddenly enter the picture.

sun&moon by @ppangjae | f a

-  asking jeong jaehyun to accompany you to your family’s 1-week christmas vacation as your boyfriend has its consequences. one can surely get through 1 week of pretending to be in love with an enemy, right?

snack run with a snack by @kopikokun | f 

-  on your usual movie night with the members, they assign you sudden snack collecting duty. you’re a little peeved, but at least jaehyun offers to tag along. Unfortunately for you, things really aren’t going in your favour tonight.

lover boy by @neoct-zen | f s

- bunch fics of lover boy jae and reader.

jungwoo

one more time, please by @haequarius | f s

-  you don’t know what you and Jungwoo are, but you are certainly weak for him.

jealous by @whiplashsan | s 

-  jungwoo is all smiles and sunshine until he gets jealous, and he just so happens to get jealous over the smallest things when it comes to you.

doyoung

sugar, spice and everything not nice by @alreadyblondenow | s

-  doyoung getting your ring size wrong, unprotected sex, kitchen sex, slight fingering, wedding tragedies.

no title by @ncteaxhoe | s

- dom!doyoung, rough? i need holy water.

the little one by @ethaeriyeol | f 

-  a gift of life; female reader x husband!Doyoung; fluff, light angst, married au

lucas

exquisite taste by @weishenkonbini | s f

- smut but with a fluffy ending.

for you always by @labyrinthsofyou | f

-  in which you surprise yukhei when he forgets about your date.

6:19 by @cozykpopblurbs | f

- a cute fluff ft kun and winwin.

10:18 pm by @nctsoftarchives | f

- reader supports lucas at his superm debut stage. 

16:47 by @sichengssmile | f s 

- a fluffy smut. lucas a big boi.

missed you by @tokyobts | a f

-  after you and yukhei broke up, yukhei still has feelings for you. he reaches out to you at school and tries to get you back. at first you avoid him but later his actions manage to make your heart flutter. you’ve come to a sudden conclusion that you maybe still want him in your life.

johnny

34 + 35 by @domjaehyun | s 

- you and your husband johnny decide to take your marriage to the next step.

i couldn’t wait a little longer by @alreadyblondenow | s f a

-  you two were never together longer than two days, but the feelings, oh the feelings that you have for each other is clear as the day. it was a never-ending try of making the relationship official. johnny tried, you tried but it never happens.

what happens in korea, not stays in korea by @alreadyblondenow | f s 

-  a week vacation in korea for your sister’s wedding became even more exciting when a famous dj had a crush on you. johnny was sure that it’s love at first sight. not putting both of your careers on the line, you two had no regrets when the time comes and you finally leave.

laundry day by @immabiteyou | s

- a domestic fluffy smut.

make a wish by @sluttyten | s f a

-  you’re jungwoo’s sister, and he’s made it clear he wants you and Johnny to have nothing to do with each other. so you and johnny start fake dating to piss him off.

want it all by @sluttyten | f s 

-  you are entirely innocent to the point of being naive. johnny is not innocent, but he loves that you are because it means he can teach you everything you don’t know.

sungchan

wish i was her by @softsungchan | f a 

-  you wished you were her, laying in Sungchan’s arms and feeling his warm breath on your neck, giggling about sweet nothings whispered into the starry night. You wished for it to be you, the girl he liked.

2:21 am by @the32ndbeat | f 

- sungchan being whipped, thru a text message.

haechan

14:52 by @ukiyoexo | f

- a cute haechan and reader ft the reader’s baby sister moment.

prince’s order by @nsheetee | f

-  prince haechan nurses you after you faint, and orders you to stay with him until you feel better.

sweet treat by @markresonates | s

-  haechan takes you for ice cream but all you can think about is sex with him.  when you act like a brat, eventually you end up in the bathroom. with no panties. 

clingy by @love-mi | f 

-  I’m not clingy! I just love your company and constantly want to be around you and have your full attention at all times

mark

hyuck is always right by @luvrenjun00 | f 

- ceo!mark x reader ft baby donghyuck. a tooth-rotting fluff.

taeyong

snow storm by @whereisten | f s 

- a fluffy smut whilst a snow storm.

1:59 by @smoll-tangerine | f

- reader and taeyong ft my favorite game (where i always die first) among us!

bts

taehyung

is this allowed 1 2 by @seokiie  | f s

- how were you supposed to know bts would be filming at your coffee shop today? how were you supposed to know a certain curly-haired boy would take a liking  to you?

cabin pressure | f by @jiminrings | f 

-  pilot!y/n who accidentally became famous bc of a viral post about her, best friend!jimin!, taehyung having a shy lil crush on you aND ot7 being meanies for a tad bit :((

art major!tae and biochem major!yn | f by @jiminrings | f

-  tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

gank mid lane by @kimtaehyunq | f s 

- gank / verb: (in a video game) use underhand means to defeat or kill (a less experienced opponent)

birthday surprise by @ephemeralkookie |

-  like every year, you prepare a little surprise for your boyfriend’s birthday, one that you’ve been preparing for days. and after a very tiring day, taehyung only wants to spend the night in your loving arms.

jungkook

cookies & cream | s by @1kook | f s 

-  jungkook will watch a thousand cheesy christmas movies if it meant making you happy. (and maybe having his dick sucked.)

unholy night | s by @ephemeralkookie | f s

-  after a christmas day passed with the Jeon’s family, Jungkook decides to transform the holy night into an unholy one.

‘a short’ abstinence | s a by @seokiie | s a

-  maybe blue-balling you boyfriend (who has an insanely high sexual drive) wasn’t the best.

in which she’s done with him by @minstrivia | a

-  jungkook angst/fluff where he always pushes oc away (who confesses her feelings but was cruelly rejected) and insults her but she always comes back to take care of him when he’s drunk or picks him up from his one night stands and she finally decides to leave him alone.

bad influence by @noteguk | s 

-  in which you know jungkook is a bad influence on you, but you can’t avoid falling for him every time.

jock!jk and shy art major!yn by @jiminrings | f

-  established relationship ft. jock!jk and shy art major!y/n, y/n gets an unexpected pep talk and jungkook doubts himself, and either so much tears or so much dUST according to kook

special affair by @1oserjk | f

-  sugar daddy au except it’s just jk spoiling u thru animal crossing

fairy of shampoo by @ironicarmy | f s

-  sundays are for relaxation, house cleaning, and happiness.

abstract ft bob ross by @mimithings97 | f

-  paintbrush in one hand, joint in the other and you sitting on his dick is what jeongguk wants. and what jeongguk wants, jeongguk gets.

badboy!jungkook by @jungshookz | f 

- badboy!jungkook falls for good girl reader ft the boys and the reader’s apple. 

growing by @lesgetittkookie | f

- dad!jungkook teacher his daughter how to walk. super super cute family/domestic fluff.

quiet, baby by @bratkook | s 

- i don’t how to write a summary on smuts so imma just put this. reader and jungkook doing something in the subway.

still want that by @whatifyoulivelikethat | s

-  fucking min yoongi ex-girlfriend? a terrible idea. being hopelessly in love with her at the same time? an even worse idea. knowing he was being used and still doing it anyway? ah, Jeon Jungkook, what are you doing? part 2 of savage love.

desiderium by @jeonggukingdom | f s 

-  “we’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still so horny?”. a newlyweds!au smut.

chapstick by @softyoongiionly | f s

- based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on. or jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. 

lover boy by @jingukk | f 

-  jungkook likes you. a lot.

unexpected confession by @sunkissedjk | f

-  you gathered up the courage to confess your feelings, but it seems everyone in school knows about it before you could even find him.

string attached by @ephemeralkookie | s

-  jungkook is what we can call your sexfriend. No strings attached, just you and him having fun and releasing the huge pressure and stress of being idols. But after spending an entire day together, you realize that maybe he’s not just your sexfriend.

no title by @himbojk | f s 

- dilf jk.

astro

eunwoo

ceo!eunwoo by @m0onbean

no title by @yutopiada | f

- a cute idol!reader and eunwoo moment at a music show.

disney by @bangchan-sonyeondan | f

- a cute date with eunwoo at disney. reader likes vintage things hence using a disposable camera.

baby, it’s cold outside by @fresh-outta-jams | f 

- a cute cold christmas fluff with eunwoo ft. the boys. reader went to the boys’ place for a sweater and cocoa gift exchange.

got7

yugyeom

cruel brothers by @imsarabum | f

-  jackson and jaebum have always acted as if they were your big, overprotective brothers. so when they both walk in on you and yugyeom in a very intimate position, things get a little tense!

txt

soobin

a special night by @gyuluster | f

-  an intimate insight on the first night of choi soobin’s wedding, consisting of kitchen floors, witches and an eternity of love.

boughs & branches by @jeogiyall | f 

-  decorating the tree with boyfriend! choi soobin from txt! fluffity fluff fluff with a lot of cute fluff thrown in and a dash of christmastime fluff. 

sleepy binnie by @immabiteyou | s

-  “i’ll let you do anything if you just touch me now. “ a sleepy soobin smut.

cake by @immabiteyou | s

- reading waiting for mc soobin with the guys. a cute fluffy smut moment.

kpop oc/s

seri by @ggukkiedae

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

support the fic and the writers!

fic rec viii ♡

hi!

I've been away for so long because of school, recently I've been recognized as an honor student, these past few weeks i felt the pressure that I should do well, maintain my grade, and be a consistent honor student. i just genuinely hate school so much, i can't wait to graduate. but you know I'm thankful that despite i hate school so much i am able to do well and shit.

this is another new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones.

i didn't put a summary because i can't afford to write summaries with my poor writing skills and i also find it time-consuming hehe.

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

nct

jaehyun

1. try again | a by @gyukult

2. proposal | f by @jjpmoans

3. heart eyes | f by @yamyang

4. why can't we | a s by @neocain

5. jealous | f by @jaewin97

6. say something | a by @smoll-tangerine

7. moon river | s f a by @ppangjae

8. love station | f by @jeongjaebae

9. falling for a friend | f by @doiebunny

10. 3:07 am | f by @bluejaem

11. kismet | f a by @jae-canikeepyou

12. good for me | s by @solarune

13. 14:00 | s by @nctinthehouse

14. heat: alpha! jaehyun | s & team captain | s f by @smileysuh

15. love is not enough | s f & tequila, salt, lime | s & little cupid | f by @alreadyblondenow

16. the parent trap | f & 10:05 pm | f & untitled | f by @jeongvision

mark

1 just 14 days | f by @marksicecream

2 back to you | f a s by @tyongxnct

jeno

1. 6:58 am | s f by @immabiteyou

2. pretty baby | s by @xiaoderys

3. pussy blocked | a f by @luvdsc

4. high hopes | f by @jaeminlore

5. 4:37 | f by @dreaming-hehe

6. just give in | f by @jenoismydad

7. 3:22 am | f & 11:52 pm | f by @dont-look-down-on-me

8. i heard a rumor | a f s & bicycle | s by @markresonates

lucas

1. the dragon | s by @smileysuh

doyoung

1. he's never called her pretty | a f by @neoculturetravesty

2. 8:14 am | f by @dont-look-down-on-me

3. happy birthday | s f by @key201303

taeyong

1. friday evening | s f by @neoculturetravesty

2. love at first flight| s by @twentythreejoys

haechan

1. untitled | f by @loviejaehyun

bts

jungkook

i

ii

taehyung

1. uncharted territory | a s by @kimnjss

2. untitled | f by @yukheii

3. curtain | s by @btssmutgalore

4. a letter on roses | f by @artaefact

5. heatwave & drabbles | f s a by @curly-bangtan

6. maybe i do | s f a by @chateautae

7. socks | f by @buzzyybee

8. tempestuous | s by @ppersonna

9. love is not over | a f by @rookiegukie

10. marshmallows and report cards | f s by @untaemedqueen

11. exchanging heat | f s a by @jin-fizz

12. back to the start | a f by @honeyj00ns

jimin

1. what she likes | s f by @untaemedqueen

yoongi

1. change of plans | s by @joonsgalore

2. talented | f by @jimidol

3. accidents| f by @jungxk

4. first loves | f by @yukheii

jin

1. big dick, big heart | s & made up love song | // s f by @floralseokjin

i still have got7 recs (3 yugyeom and 7 jaebum) and e soobin from txt but if i add that to this list the writers are not going to be tagged. i will just add this recs to my next fic recs!

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labeled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

support the fic and the writers!

im in those moods lol. pls send good angsty nct recs 😭

glad you made a sequel 🥹🥹 it's so well-written 🥺💚

Lacuna

the void in your chest leaves you questioning your capacity to love.

❀ pairing: na jaemin x female reader

❀ genre: hanahaki au (kind of), college au, friends to lovers au, angst, fluff

❀ warnings: language, drinking, memory loss, hurt feelings again, y/n and jaemin are idiots, insecurities, mutual pining, mentions of death

❀ word count: 8.3k

↳ read part one here

The air in the waiting room felt suffocating. There was an unspoken tension closing in on the small space that made the two boys feel like they were trapped in a perpetual state of helplessness. Jeno could only stare at his fidgeting hands while Jaemin's anxious gaze remained on the doors that led to the operating room.

It had been hours, but you were still in surgery.

According to one of the nurses, the chance of the surgery not going well was devastatingly high since you had waited until the disease was in the final stage to have the flowers removed. You'd stubbornly held on to your love just like Jaemin had, and it landed both of you in the same place—on the verge of death.

It was frightening to think how big of fools you both had been. Neither of you had cared about the consequences despite knowing of how many people would be devastated if things didn't end well. Not to say the vacant feeling in his chest was an adequate ending, but it did beat the alternative.

“Did you know?”

For the first time since you were rushed into surgery, Jaemin tore his eyes away from the doors. Jeno was still staring at his hands with a shattered expression marring his face. His bloodshot eyes were filled with tears, and it was almost incredible how he hadn't stopped crying in all the hours that had gone by.

Admittedly, the question caught Jaemin off guard. It took him less than a second to realize that Jeno was now aware of the fact that he was the one responsible for the lilacs that had grown in your lungs. Although Jeno's question was not unreasonable, it did mildly irritate Jaemin. To him, it didn't make sense that the person who knew you better than anyone else never figured out where your heart was.

Somehow, Jaemin managed to hold back all the anger and resentment he felt long enough to answer Jeno civilly. “Know what? That Y/N was in love with you?”

Was.

Jeno wasn't sure why hearing that word broke his heart a little. It probably had to do with the way the sentence was structured in the past tense—just like the friendship between you two.

Jaemin let out a deep sigh. “I think you're the only one who didn't know.”

Before Jeno could think of anything to say, the doctor came out of the operating room. Her gaze was tired, but overall full of relief. Jaemin stood immediately and approached her. His eyes asked all the unspoken questions that were plaguing his mind.

“The surgery was a success.” The doctor said passively. “She's not awake yet, but you can go in and see her.”

She didn't need to tell either of them twice.

The two boys stopped just outside your room. They both felt heartbroken at the sight of your unconscious figure in the hospital bed. You looked sickly yet peaceful, but even that wasn't enough to make either of them feel any better. To think that you found peace only after having surgery to remove the one-sided feelings you had for your best friend was soul-shattering. Love was usually such a beautiful thing, except in moments like these where it seemed more like a merciless creature.

Before Jeno could fully enter the room, Jaemin brushed past him and immediately went to your side. He gently grabbed your hand like he had when you were being rushed into surgery. With a shaky sigh of relief, Jaemin began to delicately stroke your head and started to murmur soft words that Jeno couldn't make out.

Jaemin's tenderness took Jeno aback. It was hard to believe this was the same guy who he once thought had no emotions at all. But now even the most inattentive person would be see just how important you were to Na Jaemin. The amount of devotion in his eyes rivaled the way you once looked at him.

In the long hours of your surgery, Jeno belatedly realized that your gaze always held a tremendous amount of affection any time it was fixed on him. It made him realize how cruel fate truly was. If only you had fallen for someone like Jaemin instead of him; someone who was capable of loving you in the way you deserved.

When you started to stir, Jeno could feel his pulse quicken. The hope that you would be able to forgive him was strong, and the confidence that your friendship would eventually go back to its original state was stronger.

Your eyes slowly opened, and it felt like Jeno could finally breathe properly again. The joyful relief he felt deflated into disappointment when your eyes remained on Jaemin like he was the only other person in the room.

“Jaemin.” Your voice came out in a raspy whisper, but the delight in your voice was clear. “You're still here.”

He gave your hand a firm squeeze, eyes shimmering with tears of relief. “Of course I am, silly.” Jaemin breathed out weakly. “As long as I'm alive, I'll never leave you alone.”

All too suddenly, Jeno felt like he was intruding on what was meant to be a private, intimate moment. He shifted awkwardly and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. The sound of his rustling clothes finally made you tear your eyes away from Jaemin and notice his presence.

With your attention now on him, Jeno stepped toward you. “Y/N.” His voice trembled. “How are you feeling?”

Your silence was frightening, but the blank expression on your face more so. Mostly because it seemed like you were trying to piece something together. After a beat of silence, you finally spoke.

“Do... Do I know you?”

In that moment it felt like all the air got sucked out of the room. Jeno believed climactic moments were something that only existed in movies and books, yet here he was, trapped in the middle of one. With his loud heartbeat stifling his hearing, he helplessly looked to Jaemin. Your friend couldn't hide his shock nor the sympathy he apparently felt. Jeno felt his heart sink down into his stomach.

“I...” I'm your best friend, he wanted to say as if that would change anything. For some reason he couldn't get the words out. “I'm Jeno.”

The lack of recognition in your eyes made Jeno realize his worst fear had come true. You had forgotten him. It was only a few seconds ago that he felt confident about obtaining your forgiveness, but now it was clear that it was something he would never get. How were you meant to forgive him if you didn't remember him or what he had done?

You turned to Jaemin, face the picture of confusion. “Is he a friend of yours?”

The question delivered one last devastating blow to his heart, one that left behind a huge crack down the center of it.

It was official now.

Lee Jeno was no one to you anymore.

You didn't know what to expect when you were finally allowed to leave the hospital, but seeing both Renjun and Chenle waiting for you was not on the list. Before either of them could notice your presence, you drew back and turned away from them. The organ in your chest went into overdrive as you wondered how your friends would react when they saw you.

Chenle and Renjun never explicitly mentioned their opinion on the surgery, but if Jaemin's situation had taught you anything it was that a lot of people didn't support the procedure. In fact, many of your classmates had cut off their own family members for having the flowers removed or for supporting people who had.

“Hey.” Jaemin whispered softly. His hands found yours and he immediately began to gently caress the backside of your hands with his thumbs. “What's wrong?”

“What if—? What if they want nothing to do with me anymore?” You wondered in a trembling voice.

Somehow, Jaemin's empathetic eyes managed to make you feel comfort even in such an uncertain moment. He tugged you close to him before wrapping his arms securely around you. Melting into his warm embrace came naturally, and in that instant you could only focus on how safe you felt. Almost unconsciously, you snuggled deeper into him as it partially eased the worries you had.

“They've been blowing up my phone for the past week because they hadn't heard anything from you. I told them you had surgery, but I didn't go into details. Telling them about what kind of procedure it was is your choice. You don't have to tell them the truth if you don't feel comfortable, okay?”

You tightened your hold on Jaemin's slim waist. He truly was the sweetest guy you had ever met. You let out a sigh of relief and nodded. The nerves had almost gone away completely until a panic-inducing thought suddenly occurred to you. “Wait. Jeno didn't say anything to them, right? You said he's the one who brought me to the hospital, so what if he—?”

“Trust me, he won't say anything.” Jaemin soothed as his grip on you tightened.

You breathed out a relieved sigh. “Okay. Good.”

“Ma'am. Sir. This is a hospital.”

Chenle's crude joke was nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, it gave you a little peace of mind that maybe things wouldn't change if you ever decided to tell your friends the truth. As soon as you stepped out of Jaemin's embrace, Renjun and Chenle ran over to you and crushed you in a tight group hug.

“I'm going to kill you.” Chenle breathed out in a shaky tone before squeezing you tighter.

Renjun pulled back slightly, his concerned eyes scanned your face repeatedly. “How could you not tell us you were in the hospital?”

“Sorry.” You grimaced, knowing you should've contacted them to let them know you were okay. “I know I should've told you guys, but I just didn't want you to worry.”

“We forgive you.” Chenle eyed you with a small frown. “But if you ever keep something like this from us again, we won't forgive you.”

You nervously pressed your lips together. Okay, so maybe you wouldn't ever tell them the truth.

Renjun cleared his throat. “Since you've been eating nothing but hospital food, let's get something to eat. I'll text Jeno to meet us.”

There was that name again. Jeno. It didn't seem familiar, yet for some reason you got the impression that it was one that should've held some importance to you. Only, it didn't.

Jaemin looked at you, taking note of your pensive expression. He was quick to cut in before you could make a comment that would make it obvious that you had forgotten your best friend. “Actually, Y/N's pretty tired. Let's just do something tomorrow.”

Luckily, your friends didn't put up much of a fight and let you leave with the promise of hanging out another time.

Back at your place, you sat on your bed, contemplating the surgery and its outcome. There was now a void in your chest that was comparable to a fading soreness. The feeling was odd, but not overly bothersome.

Before the surgery, you became aware of all the possible outcomes. From what Jaemin (and the internet) had told you, the aftereffects varied by each case. Nevertheless, there were some guaranteed symptoms the surgery produced. The hollowness in your chest was part of that assurance. You weren't too concerned since there were documented cases of the void fading and eventually disappearing.

Honestly, you didn't mind the emptiness so much because it felt ten times better than the unbearable feeling of unrequited love that was once wrapped around your heart like a barbed wire. It was a phenomena that you were still unable to understand. You had entirely forgotten the person you were in love with, yet the memory of the pain that person caused remained perfectly intact.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when Jaemin came into your room with a cup of warm tea. He mentioned that it would help get rid of the soreness in your throat. After you accepted it with a thankful smile, he took a seat on your bed.

It was then that you decided to make a request.

“The person that I loved...” you began, unsure of how to properly articulate the favor without seeming too demanding.

Jaemin went still. He felt his chest tighten with a nervous anxiousness that he hated. There wasn't a huge chance that you would remember Jeno, but it was possible. Those types of cases were rare and not likely at all, yet he didn't doubt that the love you once had for your best friend was strong enough to help you remember him. That thought made an unbearable amount of dread fill his body.

“Can you not tell me who it is, please?”

The request hung in the air, and although it filled Jaemin with an inexplicable amount of relief, it also confused him. “Sure, but... why?”

“Because even if you tell me, it won't change anything. I'll only ever know them as the person who almost killed me.”

Jaemin understood you all too well, and despite the nagging feeling that things weren't going to pan out well, he agreed to your request.

Unlike your expectations, life after the surgery was fairly normal. The lack of feeling in your chest faded bit by bit, and no one had found out that you once had flowers in your lungs. It seemed like everything in your life was going back to normal.

However, there was still a piece that you couldn't place: Lee Jeno.

From what you could tell, he was someone who was very familiar with all your friends. The bond between them was clear and for some reason everyone acted like that connection extended to you. You assumed that your friends were trying prevent any awkwardness, but their efforts were in vain.

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't form a genuine friendship with Jeno. You didn't understand why there was a disconnect since he was the type of person you would usually get along with. It didn't make sense that you felt like you two weren't really friends. Inexplicably, you couldn't feel anything toward him. No fondness, no dislike, nothing.

Part of you felt bad because Jeno was obviously someone very important to all your friends. Well, that wasn't exactly true. Despite the claim that he was Jaemin's friend, you had never seen them spend a lot of time together. In fact, they didn't act like friends at all.

That wasn't the part that bothered you so much. It was the fact that Jaemin actively avoided talking to and about Jeno while Jeno himself made it a point to try to involve himself in your life. Not in an overbearing or creepy way, but you could tell he was trying to cement a place for himself in your life for some reason. Their actions made you feel like you were missing something.

“Did you finish the assignment?”

You looked up from your laptop to see Jeno taking the seat across from you. Somehow, he knew about your daily routine to study at the library and always made it a point to stop by.

“Not yet.” You answered with an overwhelmed breath. “The professor gave me a couple of extra days to finish because of the surgery.”

It wasn't common for you to mention the disease or the procedure since those were things you wanted to leave in the past, but whenever you happened to bring it up you noticed that it made Jeno extremely uncomfortable. His reaction was nothing out of the ordinary. Most people didn't like to discus the topic, and you just assumed that he probably felt some sort of way about the choice you made to have the flowers removed.

The distant look in your eye was something that Jeno noticed happened often since the surgery. It made him wonder what could be so engrossing to make you forget he was right in front of you. A more hopeful part of him wished that you were possibly regaining some of your memories of him, but realistically, he knew it was something else that didn't involve him.

Jeno cleared his throat to gain your attention. It was only when you set your gaze on him that he realized the affection that once shone brightly in your eyes whenever you looked at him was no longer present. There was only a cold, unfeeling look that was usually reserved for strangers. He supposed that's what he was to you now. A stranger.

“Do you want to get some bubble tea with me after you finish?”

“Bubble tea?” You repeated with a curious tilt of your head. “I don't think I've ever had that. Is it good?”

It was hard not to feel pitiful after hearing your innocent inquiry. As Jeno came to find out, anything that was directly associated with him was also erased from your memory.

You first tried bubble tea back in high school when Jeno made you go with him to the new place that opened up near your school. He insisted that it was the most amazing thing in the world. Much to his chagrin, you didn't think so highly of the drink. But being the friend you were, you always drank it when he felt like getting some because you knew he loved it so much.

Jeno had no one but himself to blame for the way things turned out. You no longer recognized him (and probably never would) because he had acted like a total fool. He pushed away, and the distance he created between you two left him on the outside of what was happening to you. If he had been a better friend then maybe your illness wouldn't have gotten as far as it did.

Maybe you wouldn't have forgotten him.

“It's...”

The words died on his lips when he saw Na Jaemin approaching the table you two were at. Over and over Jeno had to convince himself that it was a good thing your new best friend had interrupted because he was on the verge of telling you that bubble tea was something you had tried back in high school. How was he supposed to explain that you had drank it with him for years if you didn't remember who he had been to you?

Instead of letting out all of his bottled feelings, Jeno watched silently as Jaemin bent down and wrapped his arms around you. Your smile was full of endearment as you placed your hands over his arms to return his affection.

“It took you long enough.”

Jaemin slid into the seat beside you with a slight pout on his lips. Your gaze lingered on his pink mouth a little too long before you realized what you were doing. An unfamiliar feeling warmed the cold emptiness in your chest, making you wonder if this was another aftereffect of the surgery.

“Sorry.” He apologized as he put down his tumbler and slid it over to you. Like a second nature, you readily grabbed it and took a sip, knowing it contained some sort of tea that would help your throat. “Jisung needed my help with something.”

Jaemin's eyebrows twitched slightly before he suddenly looked over at the boy sitting across from you as if he just noticed that Jeno was also sitting at the table. “Hey, man.”

“Hey.”

The tangible tension that always surrounded Jeno and Jaemin was part of the reason you doubted the alleged friendship between them. It didn't seem like they were actually friends. In fact, they gave off a really strong impression that they didn't even get along. That, or you figured they must've had some sort of fight and still hadn't made up.

Before you could try to diffuse the awkward tension, Jeno abruptly stood from his seat. “I'll see you guys later.”

His hasty exit perplexed you. The more you thought about it, the stranger it all seemed. After a moment of silence, you turned to Jaemin with a curious expression. “What kind of person is Lee Jeno?”

Jaemin felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He tried to look at you with an impassive face, wondering why he felt so threatened by your question. It wasn't like you could feel anything for your former best friend ever again, but a sense of insecurity latched itself on to him regardless.

“He...” Jaemin paused, thinking back on what you used to say about Jeno when you still knew him. “He's nice, too nice. The kind of person you could trust with your life.”

Ironically, that's the very thing you had always emphasized about him.

“Jeno...” you started. “He has a girlfriend, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“He never brings her around. I've only seen her in the pictures he posts.” You mentioned casually before you awkwardly shifted in your seat. “He keeps trying to hang out with me alone, and I just wondered if he's trying to make me his sneaky link or something. Is he that type of guy?”

Jaemin didn't say anything because he didn't know how to give you the answers you wanted without telling you the truth. He knew better than anyone that Jeno was only trying to fit back into your life despite the fact that you would likely never remember him. It was heartbreaking, but the selfish part of Jaemin was glad he wasn't progressing in the way he wanted.

“He's not.” Jaemin said firmly despite the bitter aftertaste his words left behind. “Don't worry, if he ever tries anything I'll put him in his place.”

In spite of the emptiness in your chest, you felt something that you could only describe as strings tugging at where your heart was meant to be. You couldn't be bothered to truly acknowledge the feeling because you convinced yourself that it couldn't be what came to mind.

Loving anyone romantically was something you were sure you couldn't do properly which is why you brushed off the feeling in your chest as a fleeting emotion that wasn't too deep.

“Are you dating Na Jaemin?”

The question snapped you out of your drowsy state and had you looking up from your half-eaten sandwich. A girl you vaguely recognized from one of your classes was looking at you with a slight nervousness that you instantly recognized. It was obvious that she only wanted to know because she was interested in your friend.

“No.” You answered her truthfully.

The growing grin on her face had a revolting feeling eating at your stomach. A more honest part of you knew it was jealousy, but you were still adamant in denying the obvious. Too caught up in the denial of your feelings, you didn't notice that the girl had left after gleefully thanking you for the information provided.

“Why didn't you tell her that you and Jaemin are together?”

You glared at Renjun who sat beside you. All the emotions building in your chest were having an internal battle to see which one could be most intrusive. So far, they were all winning.

“Because we're not.”

Your friend scoffed and shared a look with Chenle. Neither of them believed that your relationship with Jaemin was platonic. Even if you two didn't realize it, everyone around you did. It was only a question of getting you to admit it.

“I'm just going to say it.” Chenle suddenly announced from where he sat on the other side of the table.

You and Renjun looked over curiously, wondering where the sudden conviction in his voice had come from.

“The sexual tension between you and Jaemin is getting to be too much. You should just hook up and get it over with so we—” he motioned to Renjun and himself. “—don't have to keep watching you two pine over each other.”

You nearly choked on your own spit as you looked over at Renjun with wide eyes. His Chenle has a point and you know it face made you feel like being swallowed by the earth. The feelings in your chest had been growing for some time, but you thought you were doing a better job at getting rid of them. And the fact that your two friends—who never noticed anything—had become aware of your feelings meant that they were on full display for everyone to see.

“Just tell Jaemin you like him.” Renjun suggested. “I know we weren't his biggest fans when you first brought him around, but he's a cool guy. We can tell he feels the same way.”

“Or at the very least, he wants to sleep with you.” Chenle chimed in.

Taking their helpful advice was out of the question because they had no idea what they were talking about. You couldn't tell your friends that the supposed sexual tension they were seeing was nothing more than Jaemin being sympathetic of your situation. He too had almost died due to an unrequited love, and he was only worrying about your well-being. Sure, it had blossomed into a true friendship, but that's all it was. A friendship.

Plus, it wasn't like you could go up to Jaemin and offer him your hollow heart. Who would want a cavity of something that was meant to be whole?

There was also the not-so-small fact that you weren't sure if you would be able to properly love him. The emptiness in your chest made you doubtful of your capability to feel and express your emotions properly. Even if Jaemin was the most patient and understanding person you had met, he deserved better than what you could offer him.

Having false hope could only end in two ways, and you wouldn't be able to bear it if you started to cough up flowers for the second time in your life.

You always felt the most normal when you spent time with Jaemin. He was the one person who could calm your nerves and dissipate your anger. There was a comforting aura that constantly surrounded him, and you always basked in it every time he was around.

It was no different now that you two were sitting out on the balcony of your apartment. You were having a few drinks, and the buzz in your veins gave you the confidence to ask him the one question that had been on your mind for the past week.

“Do you think you'll ever fall in love again?”

Your question caught Jaemin off guard. His wide eyes shifted to you, feeling a blush suffuse his cheeks. “What?”

“I m-mean,” you stumbled, feeling the courage from before falling away easily. “I just– you told me once that you never wanted to fall in love again.”

Those words were something that he shared with you when you first became friends, but he didn't think you would still remember it. Now Jaemin was regretting ever renouncing love aloud because even if those were his thoughts before, that's definitely not what he was feeling now. In spite of not being able to admit it out loud, he was in love. With you.

“That—” Jaemin's frustration made him splutter. “That's not– I don't—”

“It's okay if you still feel that way.” You assured him, trying not to sound too disillusioned. “Love isn't everything.”

And it wasn't, but the way you made him feel was. You helped him realize that not all love was ugly, and that he deserved to be loved just like everyone else.

You swallowed thickly, wishing you had never said anything in the first place. “I mean, I get it. Never falling in love means that flowers will never grow in your lungs again.”

Your comment was meant to lighten the mood, but it didn't. A tense silence was left behind that you were eager to fill. However, the words you yearned to say got caught in your throat. You wished you could tell Jaemin that he was the person who made you believe it was possible to love again. Even if he didn't feel the same way you wanted him to know that it was him who filled the lacuna in your chest.

Unfortunately, you couldn't find the courage to confess your feelings.

Jaemin frowned. It never occurred to him that you might want nothing to do with love anymore, just as he once did. For some reason he never considered that the wound Jeno left on your heart was profound and deep enough to make you want to shield yourself from anyone that could possibly love you, even if that person was him. He couldn't blame you. In fact, he understood better than most since he had gone through the same thing.

But it did break his heart. Just a little bit.

Instead of showcasing his disappointment, he gave you a half-smile. “Yeah. I guess you're right.”

You always hated anything involving group work. Unluckily for you, the person you were assigned to work with was Jeno. Things between you two weren't unpleasant, but there was always an invisible wall that made things awkward. Even so, you had to push through it and work with him.

That's how he ended up at your apartment.

In an attempt to distract yourself from the awkward tension, you started to put your personal things away so there would be enough room for you two to work comfortably. When you were nearly done, you heard a sharp intake of breath. You looked up to find Jeno staring at the jar on your dresser with a horrified look on his face.

“These are...” his voice trembled as he picked up the jar full of lilac petals.

Anyone would be affected by the sight of the very thing that almost killed someone, but you couldn't understand the guilty and heartbroken look on Jeno's face. It wasn't like it was his fault you almost died.

“Those petals are the only thing I have left of the person I loved.”

It took everything inside Jeno to hold back his tears. The petals were dried up, but he could tell they were lilac petals—Hana's favorite flower. There was a lump in his throat that he couldn't get rid of. Somehow he managed to find his voice to ask you a question burning in his mind. “What do they mean?”

Your smile was bitter. “First love.”

First love. Is that what he had been to you?

The faraway look in Jeno's eyes made an absurd thought cross your mind. You wondered if it would be okay for you to rely on him just a little bit. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

Jeno snapped his head in your direction. He recognized the tone you got right away. It was the same one you got after realizing something. He held his breath, half-hoping that you would tell him you finally remembered who he was—who he had been to you.

“Sure.”

“Do you think it's possible to wholly love someone after getting the surgery?”

Maybe it was a relief that you didn't remember him. If you ever did remember that Jeno was the person who made flowers grow in your lungs, then you would realize that the doubts you were having about your feelings were all because of him. Despite the guilt clinging to him, Jeno responded in what he hoped was a casual voice. “Are you asking because you have feelings for someone?”

You bashfully looked away, wondering if Jeno would be able to keep your secret. Even if he couldn't, at least you would lighten the burden of your internal struggle.

“Yeah, but it... it's stupid.”

Jeno frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I guess I'm just afraid that I can't love him in the way he deserves—that the hole in my chest won't let me completely love him.”

You weren't sure why you were suddenly sharing something so personal with Jeno, but you assumed part of the reason had to do with the fact that you couldn't go to any of your other friends for advice since none of them knew about the disease that had almost killed you.

Jeno knew you were talking about Jaemin. He could tell by the way you looked at him. It was crazy how he could see the feelings you had for your friend so clearly, yet he had failed to notice the feelings you had for him once upon a time. A cruel irony, really.

“Why would you think that? Even I can tell how much you love Jaemin.”

You looked up in surprise. “How—?”

“How can I not know that you're in love with him? You're my—”

My best friend.

“—my friend.” Jeno finished lamely.

He was only glad you accepted his answer without any suspicions. You swiftly changed the topic and Jeno let out a quiet breath of relief, not knowing about all the questions that were brewing inside your mind. All of them had to do with him and who he really was.

“So, you're not going to tell Y/N how you feel?”

“No one wants to date someone who had the disease and then had surgery to have it removed.” Jaemin said like it was a confirmed fact.

When Jisung didn't respond, he looked over to see his friend giving him an unimpressed stare. Jaemin scowled. “Don't give me that look. I'm completely valid.”

Jisung raised an eyebrow, eyeing his friend dubiously. “Actually, I don't think you are.”

Jaemin gave him an icy glare.

Jisung remained unfazed by the scornful look. “I'm just saying to look at the facts. Y/N has never cared that you had the procedure. Why would she suddenly care if you confessed to her?”

“She never cared about it because she's only thought about me as a friend. It's different if I tell her that I have feelings her and want to be with her. She might not want to be with someone who had the surgery.”

Jaemin knew he was only projecting his own insecurities, but he couldn't help it. You asked him not to tell you about your past love because you didn't want to know anything about it, and you actively avoided the topic of love altogether. It was clear that love was something you were no longer interested in.

“You won't know until you tell her.”

Jaemin knew his friend was right, but he couldn't stop thinking that maybe love wasn't in the cards for either of you.

You couldn't remember the last time you went to a party. There was a vague memory in your mind of coughing up petals at a frat house then Jaemin finding you, but it was a night you couldn't fully piece together.

The need to stifle your feelings and forget your problems prompted you to accept Haechan's invitation. You were somewhat close to him, but you couldn't remember exactly how you became friends. It was like you two were suddenly friends before you realized it.

When you arrived at Haechan's place, you were relieved to find a lot of people you recognized at the party. You felt comfortable enough to wander on your own and mingle, encouraging Jaemin to do the same. A light feeling overcame you as you watched him join Jisung and Mark in a game of beer pong. It made you happy to see Jaemin break out of his introverted disposition and actually have fun.

Things started to pick up after Renjun offered you a shot then another and another. Normally, you were good at pacing yourself, but your need to escape your inner turmoil made you readily accept all the alcohol your friend was offering.

You vaguely remembered taking shots with Renjun and the girl he was talking to, but after the sixth shot you felt your head start to swim. Trying to keep yourself from face-planting, you stumbled toward the kitchen to grab a water. Instead of fully entering the small space you leaned against the door frame to keep yourself from falling. As you prepared to resume your trek toward the fridge, a sealed water bottle was handed to you. With a slow blink, you looked up to see Jeno looking at you with concern.

“Drink it.” He insisted. “You always get like this when you drink too fast.”

You had barely accepted it when you registered his words. All too suddenly, you felt extremely sober. “Yeah?” You scoffed. “How would you know?”

Your aggressive tone took Jeno aback. The gaze you were directing at him was almost accusatory, and he didn't know what to think of it. Before, you would've never spoken to him using the tone you just had. Then again, it was true that you were no longer the person he once knew. Your unfamiliar behavior was just a byproduct of what he had done to you.

You let out a deep sigh. “Never mind. It's not like I can expect the truth from you.”

Those words left Jeno feeling cold because in that moment it seemed like you knew exactly who he was.

Abandoning the water he gave you on the nearest flat surface, you brushed past him without saying anything else. Your icy expression was nothing new, but something about it was different this time. After a belated second, Jeno snapped out of his shocked state and went after you as you headed for the front door. Panic sept into his chest like an uncontrollable flood. He wouldn't let you walk away from him this time.

“Are you leaving already?”

It was Renjun's voice who called out to you, and you only gave him a fleeting glance. Since he was with Chenle and Haechan you decided to keep your inner turmoil to yourself and only offered him a nod as a response.

Before you could reach the street, a gentle yet firm hand grabbed your wrist. The displeased frown on your face deepened after you turned and saw that Jeno was the one who stopped you from leaving. You couldn't feel a lot toward him which is why you weren't sure if the irritation you were feeling was produced by him or by the realization you had.

“What the fuck are you doing? Let go.”

Jeno released you from his hold, but pleaded you to stay and hear him out. You weren't sure what possessed you to stay and listen since the pitiful expression on his face didn't make you feel sorry at all.

“Did I do something?” He finally asked. “I'm sorry if I made you upset. I didn't mean to.”

You scoffed. If only that was the case. If only you were capable of feeling upset or anything toward him. There wasn't any resentment or hate that you could actively identify, but something akin to anger suddenly overcame you and took over your actions.

“Why do you keep doing this to me?”

The cold air nipped at Jeno's exposed skin, but that was nothing compared to the chill your words gave him. There was a sinking feeling in his stomach that he could categorize as the same feeling he got when you revealed that it was him who had put flowers in your lungs.

“Y/N—?”

“I found a picture of us.” You cut him off, tired of the way he was looking at you. “It was a picture from high school. I can't remember taking it, or even when it happened, but it exists.”

The heartbroken look in Jeno's eyes produced no tender emotion from you, but it did let you know everything you needed to know. From the moment you found the picture shoved in a box of clutter that had been sitting at the back of your closet, you had this inkling that wouldn't go away. Now, the look on his face confirmed everything you were thinking.

“Isn't that funny?” You let out a breathy chuckle, but there was no traces of humor in it. “How can I not remember that? How can I not remember you?”

So many things were wrong about this moment, but now the truth was out in the open, and there was no taking it back. Jeno tried to figure out how he should explain himself, but you didn't give him the chance.

“Everyone acts like we've been friends forever, but I never understood why. Now I get it.” Your voice lacked any emotion. You didn't even sound angry. “It was you, wasn't it? You're the person who made lilacs grow in my lungs.”

The silence was suffocating, and it was as good of an answer as any of his words would've been. You swallowed thickly, hating that you couldn't even feel upset. Not when it involved him.

“Even if don't you tell me, I know the truth. And I know because I should feel angry or hurt or even disgusted, but I don't. I don't feel anything.”

Jeno felt like someone had taken his ability to speak because he couldn't say anything. You weren't looking at him with hate or resentment, just pure indifference. In that moment he wondered if your resentment would've felt better than your disregard.

“I'm sorry.” He apologized tearfully. “I never meant to hurt you. And I know, I know my apology doesn't change anything, but I hope that you can forgive me. We were best friends before... everything, and I-I still want to be that for you—”

“Why?” You demanded, trying so hard to force out an emotion from your chest. The attempt was futile. “I can't be the person you once knew.”

Despite the silence being thick with tension, you could only feel a mild need to get away from Jeno. Not because you actually felt anything toward him and his apology, but because you just felt tired of the whole situation. All you wanted was to go home and forget about the entire night.

The sound of approaching footsteps made you tense. You looked over, horrified to see not only your three friends standing five feet away from you, but Jaemin as well. From the look on their faces you could tell they had heard everything. Your eyes fell over to Jaemin, noticing that he wore an expression that looked like he could murder someone.

“What's going on?” Jaemin demanded as he looked between you and Jeno.

“Nothing.” You said briskly. “I'm just going home.”

Jaemin stopped you before you could go anywhere. “Wait for me inside, okay? We can leave together.”

In that moment you contemplated on what to do. You didn't want to go back inside, especially with the way Renjun, Chenle, and Haechan were staring at you. Eventually, you decided that listening to Jaemin was best.

Once you were inside, Jaemin turned to Jeno with a dark look on his face. “What was that? Did you tell her the truth?”

“No.” Jeno said with a frown. “She said she found a picture of us from high school and that she knew it was me who put flowers in her lungs.”

Jaemin ran a hand down his face. He knew keeping you in the dark would backfire. Now, all he could do was try to deescalate the situation. “I think you should go.”

“What?” Jeno scoffed, not believing what he was hearing. He looked behind Jaemin for a second to the three boys who were watching. “Haechan is my friend. Why should I leave?”

“Why should she?” Jaemin challenged. “You're the one that keeps bothering her.”

If looks could kill, Jaemin would have disintegrated into thin air. Of course your friend didn't understand Jeno's need to atone for everything that he had done. It was selfish to expect things to go back to the way they were before your procedure, but he had to at least try to put everything back to the way it was. He missed you terribly and wished to have you back in his life like before, but now he knew it would never be possible.

With that realization, his initial anger melted away into a defeated sadness.

“She's my best friend.”

Jaemin let out a sigh, only feeling partially bad. “She doesn't remember you. The only thing she knows now is that you almost killed her.”

His words were harsh, but they were the truth.

And Jeno had no choice but to accept it.

Your hangovers weren't usually so bad, but when you woke up after Haechan's party you felt like your head was being split open. With an ungracious reach, you grabbed your phone to look at the time. On the screen you found messages from your friends asking if you were okay and wanting to talk. It made you feel relieved that they didn't seem to be too hurt that you kept your near-death a secret from them.

After you tossed your phone aside, you groggily dragged yourself out of bed to try to find some medicine that might help you with your headache.

When you walked out of your room, you heard soft sizzling. You followed the sound to find Jaemin in your kitchen, standing in front of the stove. The sight of him cooking in your kitchen made you feel like your heart was going to leap out of your chest. It wasn't fair how sweet and caring he was. Did he even know what he was doing to you?

As you shuffled closer, Jaemin glanced over his shoulder and gave you a soft smile. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

“I'm never drinking again.” You told him as you sat down at the kitchen counter.

Jaemin turned down the heat before he set down a glass of water and some medicine where you were sitting. He gently caressed your head and urged you to take the medicine with the promise of breakfast being ready soon. The gentle kiss he pressed to your temple nearly had you melting in your chair. You could've kissed him right then and there.

The way you were looking at him with your shining eyes made Jaemin feel like his heart would implode from all the feelings filling up his chest. There were so many things he felt like saying, but it would have to wait until you were feeling better.

You were about halfway done with the breakfast Jaemin cooked for you when you decided to ask a question that you'd been wondering about since last night. “How long was I in love with Lee Jeno?”

Your question was spoken casually, but the atmosphere it created was heavy and serious. Despite that, you kept eating like normal.

“Since you graduated high school.”

Jaemin gauged your reaction, but expectedly you didn't have one. It wasn't surprising since all the feelings you once had for Jeno were long gone, but he at least expected a bit of anger after finding out your former best friend was the person who almost killed you.

It was silent for a moment before you spoke again. “Thank you for keeping your promise.” You said genuinely. “I know it couldn't have been easy for you, and I'm sorry I put you in that position.”

The way you looked at him made Jaemin wish he could freeze time and revel in the moment forever. It felt like his overwhelming emotions were about to burst at the seams. “I would do anything for you.”

You couldn't stifle the emotion filling up your chest or the words on the tip of your tongue. “I think I love you.”

The pause after you spoke those words felt like an eternity. Jaemin's eyes were shining with an emotion that looked a lot like—

“I know I love you.”

In the next moment Jaemin was leaning over the counter, pressing his lips to yours. The clash of your lips was slightly messy, but that didn't take away from the euphoric feeling it produced. Jaemin's soft lips made you lose any coherent thought that was on your mind three seconds ago. All you could concentrate on was the gentle movement of his mouth that was also full of fervent need.

Whenever you daydreamed, a moment like this would always come up. For the past month you constantly imagined what it would be like to have Jaemin's lips on yours, but everything you dreamt up didn't compare to the real thing. You could feel all his pure emotions pouring into the kiss.

Finally, you had to pull away. The sight of his slightly swollen lips drive you crazy. Na Jaemin would be the death of you.

Meanwhile, Jaemin couldn't believe he ever thought you might reject him because now he could see that you were looking at him with literal stars in your eyes. Your affectionate face almost had him pulling you in for a second kiss.

Jaemin let out a dreamy sigh. "I've been wondering when the right time to tell you about my feelings, and I was so fucking nervous this entire time."

"I wanted to tell you a long time ago." You said honestly. "But I couldn't say it because I thought you wouldn't feel the same way.

Jaemin stood from his seat and walked over to you. He bent down slightly to face you, eyes shining as his hands gently caressed your thighs. "You want to know something?" He grabbed your hand and placed it on his chest. "My heart was only a hollow shell until you came along. I never thought I'd feel whole again, but you filled me with love."

His hand tightened over yours the tiniest bit, and you couldn't contain yourself. You pulled him closer and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. When you pulled back, you gave him a love-stricken grin.

"You helped me heal and become a better person. I love you and I always will."

And you meant it because the lacuna in your chest had completely disappeared thanks to him.

there's really something different about historical love stories...like it hits different ykwim? lol i love how they're still talking so formally to each other even as they're doing the deed 🤭

pairing: prideandprejudice!jeno x afab!reader

words: 17.8k+

summary: lee jeno is the furthest idea of a possible suitor in your mind. yet somehow, fate continues to pair you together.

genre: fluff, angst, smut

warnings: loss of virginity, cunnilingus, penetrative sex, creampie, slight breeding kink

this is basically pride & prejudice (2005)

“You are behaving foolishly,” you comment as Minji runs around the room, encouraging your headache to grow. Jimin exhales from her spot next to you, hands folded in her lap like one of those formal ladies you used to make fun of when you were younger.

“Minji, please sit,” Jimin sighs exasperatedly. Minjeong giggles from her position on the opposite couch, slouching even though she’s not meant to look so unseemly.

Minji finally takes her seat and rolls her eyes at Jimin. “Sister, you must feel some ounce of joy. It’s our first time at a ball!”

It was true — your family had been all but shunned from any formal engagements due to your lack of wealth, but lately, your father has climbed up the ranks and gotten respect from some of the rich parties across town. His hard work resulted in you and your sisters being invited to your first ball, an elite event made up of high society members.

Your mother took this as a sign of a wedding on the horizon since none of your sisters have received formal proposals yet despite being of age. Minji is overjoyed, Jimin is stressing out, and Minjeong is displeased with the situation at hand. Minjeong has always been proud of your family, regardless of status, and she hates the social climbers that migrated around these parties.

You’re indifferent to tonight’s events, willing to tag along to whatever boisterous adventures you find.

Your mother comes frantically into the room just as Minji has finally calmed herself down, hair tied messily on top of her head and corset barely laced up.

“Girls, we must leave soon!” She declares, stroking her fingers through Minjeong’s hair to perfect it.

“Mother, you look unkempt,” Jimin scolds, standing from her spot to finish lacing up your mother’s corset and taming her unruly hair. Your mother profusely apologizes before shooing her away.

“This night is not about me. It’s about you girls. Now remember, Mr. Lee and Mr. Na will both be in attendance. They come from very affluent families, and it would be in your best interest to invest your time into them as they are the most desired bachelors of the season.”

Minjeong scoffs. “Mother, I highly doubt entertaining these men who deny our self-worth is in our best interest.”

Your mother’s mouth opens to scold Minjeong until the click of your father’s shoes come padding down the hall. In his old age, your father traditionally expects all of you to be married off before he passes. Otherwise, the estate transfers over to your cousin, Nakamoto Yuta, who has always been less than kind to your family. You know he would wed you and your sisters off to the first men he comes across just to keep your family’s earnings for himself.

“Are we ready to depart?” Your father asks, smiling proudly in his formal wear. All of your sisters rise from their seats, with Minji nearly jumping out of hers and Minjeong being heavily prodded by your mother.

It’s a long ride to the ball with your family’s estate being located further away from higher society. You and Minji play games on the journey as Minjeong sleeps and Jimin frets over what to say when you arrive.

Jimin has always been the more responsible one out of your sisters, and you understand she has a heavier burden on her shoulders to be married first. Luckily with you being one year younger, there wasn’t as much of an expectation for you to be wed so fast.

The arrival of your family is greeted with a hesitant welcome, most of the men smiling at your father and the women analyzing your sisters and your mother. You grip Minjeong’s arm for dear life, feeling a little more hesitant about the experience now that you have stepped foot on the grounds.

“This is absurd,” Minjeong whispers in your ear as you enter the expansive ballroom. People are gathered in some of their most formal outerwear with music echoing around the dance floor.

“Would you not enjoy a dance?” You ask your sister, heels clacking against the wood floors as you scurry your way through the crowd. You imagine dancing would be quite nice — you and your siblings have spent nights practicing in your rooms, hands joining together as you pretend that you all are actually on the dance floor. Tonight would be perfect to bring those memories to life, but Minjeong doesn’t seem very fond of the idea.

“Have you forgotten that we are not allowed to dance with one another? We must find a partner,” she reminds you, and your eyes flutter around the room to see the prospects.

You’ve seen most of these men in passing, like Lee Taeyong or Lee Mark. You have heard that the brothers are kinder than their appearance might make them seem and perhaps they would entertain you with a spin on the floor.

You suddenly feel Minji grip your arm and she squeals in your ear. “There they are! Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin!”

Your eyes turn to the entrance, where the men of the night are starting to flock in. Lee Jeno, a known affluent man, owns one of the largest estates in the country and has been one of the most desired bachelors for years now. His friend, Na Jaemin, has just moved to the country, making this ball his first public appearance. Similar to Jeno, Jaemin owns multiple estates with an abundant fortune sitting in his bank.

In this world, they are a girl’s one way ticket to safety.

You see Jimin’s back straighten in anticipation, and you know she has her eyes set on Jaemin.

Your mother approaches your side, squeezing your arm. “Behave now, girls.”

Your family gathers to present yourselves in front of Jeno and Jaemin, bowing and curtsying in respect. Jeno simply appears bored, eyes scanning the room in an air of confidence and arrogance. Jaemin immediately smiles at Jimin, who grows slightly bashful under his gaze.

“Mr. Na, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” your father greets first, shaking Jaemin’s hand with fervor.

“You as well, sir. I’m taken by the people’s hospitality to my arrival,” Jaemin remarks.

“It’s rare we get a new face in this town,” your mother replies happily. “And such a handsome one at that.”

Jaemin’s smile is blinding, basking in the compliments and attention. Jeno, on the other hand, looks like he wants to leave and never return.

The music suddenly changes to the tempo of the traditional dance, and Jaemin asks Jimin to join him on the floor. Your sister shyly accepts and you hear both your mother and Minji squeal to one another. Minjeong rolls her eyes and informs you she’s going to find some refreshments for herself.

She leaves you with Jeno, who still appears stiff and unapproachable. You decide to take the first leap into conversation.

“Do you like to dance, Mr. Lee?”

He blinks once, scanning you before answering. “Not if I can help it.”

You’re deterred by his answer until Minji tugs you forward, nudging you to join her on the dance floor. You’re paired with Taeyong, who politely bows to you.

You feel a pair of eyes follow you while you maneuver around bodies of the elite, and your mind lingers on the disdainful presence of Lee Jeno.

Once the music subsides, you take another politeful curtsy to Taeyong before sweeping the room for your fellow companion, An Yujin. Yujin, like your family, was not born into wealth and struggles in society as you do. However, because of her charisma, she is able to sneak her way into parties by charming some of the men for an invitation. You spot her in between a few other guests and eagerly pull her away.

“You did not tell me you were coming!” She exclaims, wrapping you up in a hug.

“We were not informed until earlier this week,” you share, walking along with her as you move your way through the crowd. “Is it not so lovely?”

“Very,” she giggles, her voice turning down when you spot Jeno and Jaemin walking very close to you two. They do not catch sight of you, speaking quietly to one another.

“What a splendid night, so many lovely women,” Jaemin chuckles.

Jeno replies in a bored tone. “You were dancing with the only lovely woman in this room.”

“Yes, she was quite a keeper, was she not?” Jaemin hums, and you and Yujin exchange a look. “I saw you speaking to her sister. She was quite admirable as well.”

Jeno scoffs. “Admirable? Barely tolerable, I would say.”

The conversation is cut short when Jaemin’s sister sweeps them away to meet another family. You huff at Jeno’s clear dislike of you and Yujin pats your hand in comfort when they disappear into the crowd.

“What a horrid man,” you comment.

“Do not fret,” Yujin smiles. “If he liked you, you would actually have to speak with him.”

You giggle in agreement. “Yes, imagine having to entertain a man like that.”

“Jimin looks rather happy, though,” Yujin remarks fondly. “She’s thoroughly taken by Mr. Na.”

You gaze over at your sister, who is happily chattering with Minji. “It seems so. I hope mother is taking her bearings and not placing too much pressure upon her shoulders.”

“I think it might be too late for that.”

Your mother has suddenly grouped Minji and Jimin into directly speaking with Jaemin and Jeno. You exchange a look with Yujin before walking over to save your sisters from this debacle. When you step into their circle, you hear Jaemin compliment Jimin’s dancing.

“She is quite the dancer, if I must say.”

“Yes, yes!” Your mother shouts. “She and her sisters practice all the time. My handsome Jimin, you see, is definitely the most well-rounded of all my daughters!”

“Mother!” You scold, trying to stop her as she continues to embarrass your sisters.

However, she ignores your protest and Jimin’s visible contempt. “Jimin’s always had a vast amount of suitors, you know. There was this one bewitching gentleman who I thought would propose to her last spring but alas, all the man did was write a few poems.”

“And that ended it completely,” you cut in, and Jimin throws you a grateful look. “Who ever decided that poetry was a suitable medium to a woman’s heart? Very poor choice, might I say.”

Your statement earns you a few laughs until a haughty voice interrupts.

“So what do you propose?” Jeno retorts, and it’s the most engaged he’s been with you all night. His eyes bore into yours with the most intense observance. “Poetry has been the love language for suitors across all ages. What do you propose is better to take its place?”

You smile mischievously. “Dancing, I believe. Even if one’s partner is barely tolerable.”

Jeno’s face morphs into a mix of understanding and discomfort at your recall. You smirk, offering him another curtsy before vanishing back into the crowd.

You feel the burn of his stare follow you.

—

“Shopping for such a simple piece of clothing must seem so benign, do you not think so?”

“Yes, it quite certainly is,” you reply, tugging Minjeong into a nearby fabric store. “But it is necessary in order to impress the likes of the Na family for Jimin’s best interest.”

You and your sisters have made a trip into town to purchase new dresses for another upcoming ball planned by Jaemin. Since your first encounter with him, he and Jimin have made slow strides into courting one another, and this dance may be an opportunity to make it more official. Therefore, you have taken the role of stringing your family into the best shape to appease high society.

Jimin is already browsing through a variety of pinks and blues, carefully explaining to the seamstress that she has no desire for lavish embellishments to her dress. Although she would never admit her nerves, you can detect it from the way she frantically combs her fingers through her hair.

“Play nice for once,” you say to Minjeong, stroking her arm in consolation. “This could mean wonders for Jimin.”

“I can play nice,” Minjeong agrees hesitantly, pretending to be interested in some of the frilly ribbon decorating the store.

The bell above the door rings, signaling another customer walking in. You all turn to see a gentleman come inside, and you curtsy to greet him.

“My apologies for the intrusion,” he smiles, and you take note how captivating he appears. “It’s pouring out there and I was hoping to take shelter in here.”

“Of course, Mr. Lee,” the seamstress nods, gesturing for him to walk about as he pleases.

His eyes zero in on you. He takes your hand and presses a kiss to your knuckles. You bow your head coyly.

“Lee Donghyuck, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Are you ladies also shielding yourselves from the horrid rain?”

You smile and return your hand to your side.

“In contrast, Mr. Lee, we are prolifically finding ourselves a manner of dress for the Na ball,” you share, and his eyes sparkle at your response.

“Ah, I see. It must be an extremely difficult decision for you then.”

You laugh. “Yes, it’s quite the hunt for us.”

Minjeong suddenly reappears next to you. “And what brings you to town this evening, Mr. Lee?”

He offers a nod to your sister. “Some of the men from our militia district are in town for our homecoming. We have gathered into town to see what we all have dearly missed from our time away.”

His eyes flit over to you once more, and you bashfully glance down at your feet.

“I must come and see what beholds the community of this ball,” he states, hands wringing together behind his back. “It looks to be an event of importance.”

As soon as Jimin finds the right fabric for her dress and you review the designs for the rest of your family, Donghyuck offers to walk you all back to your estate. Luckily, the weather clears by the time you finish shopping.

You speak with Donghyuck on the way home, with Minji throwing the two of you suggestive looks as you break off from the others.

“How long are you in town for then?”

“Another fortnight or two, dependent on the weather,” he replies, his shoulder brushing against yours as you stride along.

“It must be pleasant to be back home. I cannot imagine how much you have missed it,” you say, enjoying the warmth of his figure every time his arm presses against yours.

He opens his mouth to respond before Minji’s loud hollers interrupt him.

“Oh, Mr. Na! Mr. Na!”

Minji calls out to Jaemin across the river, who is riding horseback alongside Jeno. Your eyes narrow at Jeno’s appearance, still feeling offended from his malicious comments against you. He, in turn, returns your heated glare but to your surprise, it’s not directed at you. His focus is solely on the man beside you, and you notice how Donghyuck tenses at his presence.

“Mr. Na, we just came from the dress shop to look fitting for your ball!” Minji calls happily.

Jaemin gives a nod, his eyes floating to Jimin.

“I’m happy to hear of it!” He replies.

The conversation is cut short when Jeno suddenly instructs his horse to trot away. You observe his abrupt exit, with Jaemin promising to see your family at the ball before following his friend.

“Very ill-mannered, that one is,” Donghyuck comments, scoffing as Jeno’s figure disappears further and further in the distance.

You begin the trek home again as Minjeong speeds up her pace and Jimin tugs Minji along to keep up. You fall behind in order to uncover the deeper meaning of Donghyuck’s words.

“You seem to have an uncivil assumption of Mr. Lee,” you note to him, and he hums in agreement.

“Mr. Lee and I do not get along well.”

“May I inquire why?”

“I have known Mr. Lee since birth, you see. Our families were very close and I thought of his father as mine and he thought mine as his. When my father passed, I became closer to his own as a result. Eventually, when Jeno’s father grew sickly, he asked that the rights of the Lee estate be passed onto me. At that point, you must imagine, we were closer than he and his son ever were and it drove Jeno wild with jealousy.”

You can visualize Jeno as the epitome of bitterness, envy blazing his form as he watches Donghyuck grow closer to his father. You fail to realize how your bias towards disliking Jeno prevents you from questioning the truthfulness to Donghyuck’s story.

He continues. “After his father passed, Jeno willingly sought my demise by forcing me into the militia and preventing me from inheriting his estate. I hope you can see now why I do not enjoy entertaining his presence.”

“That is purely vengeful,” you say with sympathy, almost wishing to apologize on Jeno’s behalf. “It pains me to think you had to go through such a thing.”

He smiles and shrugs it off.

“It is in the past, and we must look towards the future. I shall be delighted to see you at the ball, miss.”

You curtsy and grin. “You as well, Mr. Lee.”

—

Donghyuck is the first person you search for when you arrive at the Na estate.

You spot Yujin in between bodies, tugging her along in your search. She laughs and follows you as you weave your way through the crowd.

“How handsome is he that has you so besotten?”

“He’s just wonderful, Yujin!” You exclaim passionately. “If you spoke to him as well, you would know!”

You pass by numerous familiar faces, asking them if they have seen Donghyuck lingering around. You disappointingly receive a resounding denial at the sight of his presence.

Jimin calls your name quietly when she approaches you and Yujin in the drawing room.

“I do not believe Mr. Lee is here. It seems he has been sent off.”

You frown. “Sent off? Oh, but he must be here!”

“There you are.”

All three of you jump at the sound of a male voice entering your conversation. You turn to see your cousin, Yuta, staring at you intimidatingly. You curtsy in respect.

“I was wondering if it would please you to join me.”

He gestures to the dance floor and you almost choke.

“Mr. Nakamoto, I did not know you danced.”

If you did not know any better, you would guess Yuta was glaring at you judging by the weight of his stare.

“I do not think it so inappropriate for a gentleman of my status to ask a woman for a dance. As much as I think it is not inappropriate for you to accept.”

You flounder. Your sisters had gossiped a few days ago about Yuta being in search of a wife, but you would have never guessed he had his sights set on you.

You nod timidly, trying your best to ignore Yujin and Jimin’s incredulity. He guides you to the floor and you make your best attempt at taking him seriously.

The dance is almost comical to you, suddenly burdened by Yuta’s intense gaze. He has never shown the slightest interest towards you until now, and his advances only bring you laughter.

As soon as the music ends, you grab Yujin’s arm and pull her away to avoid Yuta’s further questioning. The two of you giggle at the spectacle that just took place.

“Can you believe Mr. Nakamoto just-“

Your voice catches in your throat when you almost collide into someone’s chest. Your eyes drift up to catch the sight of Jeno.

He still has that same bored expression painting his face but you can see a hint of nervousness clouding his eyes.

“May I have the next dance?”

You are slightly startled by the question, but you manage to keep your decorum intact.

“You may.”

He offers you a nod before disappearing into the crowd once more. Yujin squeezes your arm.

“Did you agree to dance with Mr. Lee?”

“For heaven’s sake, I believe I have. I must be going mad, Yujin. He is the man I have sworn to hate,” you gasp.

She shakes you from your trance and guides you back to the dance floor, bringing you face to face with Jeno. He is a lot more restless than usual, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he avoids your gaze.

The dance begins with a respectful curtsy and bow. You begin to move to meet Jeno at the center and remark, “This is a beautiful dance.”

He curtly nods. “Yes, I think so.”

He is rather lucky you’re determined to be on your best behavior or else you would have rolled his eyes at the simple comment. You turn past Kang Seulgi’s figure and meet him again in the middle.

“It is your turn to make conversation, Mr. Lee. Usually, you would compliment the host of the gathering or comment on the people who have attended.”

“Is that so?” He muses, taking slow steps around Lee Mark to circle back to you. You join your hands in the middle and pace quietly to the hum of the violin playing. “Please do tell what invigorating subject you would like for me to focus on.”

You can tell he’s trying to push your buttons and you grit your teeth. “A lady must not lead the conversation so easily, Mr. Lee. It is your job to set the tone.”

You separate to continue the dance, rotating again around Seulgi and Mark’s figures.

“Do you and your sisters go shopping in town often?”

You hesitate, knowing he’s beginning to broach the subject of Donghyuck. You connect in the middle, the bottom of your dress skirting by him.

“Lately yes, we have. We find it a great opportunity to get out and meet new people. In fact, we had just met a lovely man that day you saw us by the river.”

His lips press into a thin line. “Lee Donghyuck is charming, indeed. His ability to win over women’s hearts is quite notable, but it does not fare in comparison to his ability to quickly lose that adoration.”

You bite back, dancing in another circle and attempting to keep your composure. “Yes, and it was so devastating to hear that he has lost that devotion from you. Quite irreversible, is it?”

“Indeed,” he nearly hisses, stopping in the middle to sneer at you. The dance continues but you hold your ground, staring at him with as much anger as you can muster. “Why do you ask such a question?”

“To inquire into your character, Mr. Lee.”

His eyes burn with an unanticipated flame. “And what did you discover?”

“Very little. I hear quite different stories about your character and it baffles me exceptionally.”

“My apologies,” he states, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “I hope to clear your troubled thoughts going forward.”

You both resume the dance, but it somehow feels like the entire room has disappeared. The weight of your words builds the tension and you follow the steps of the dance you know by heart, but your eyes no longer drift to different parts of the room. They stay focused on Jeno, who is equally captured by you.

The two of you speak nothing more until you return to the same spots you started the dance in. The sound of applause jolts you out of your stupor and you take one last look at Jeno, offering him a polite curtsy before exiting the floor.

You’re startled when you nearly run into Yuta again on your way to the drawing room.

He says your name in a rigid tone. “You’re well acquainted with Mr. Lee?”

You almost stutter. “Not very well. I will admit, I’m surprised to see you at such an event, Mr. Nakamoto.”

“Are you? Your mother has brought it up to me on many occasions, especially noting that you would be in attendance.”

You clench a fist behind your back and silently curse your mother.

“Did she? I cannot imagine why she would think that would be of importance to you.”

“I am sure you have heard of my search for a companion to my estate. Lady Park has been stressing the issue and I am not one to avoid her suggestions,” he shares, taking a small step closer to you.

You take a step back. You and your sisters know all about Lady Park — the woman who financially supports Yuta until he gets a hold of your family’s fortune when you and your siblings are married off and your father has passed. She dictates every aspect of Yuta’s life and he must engage in her wishes to ensure his funds are properly taken care of.

“Mr. Nakamoto, I will save you the trouble. I have no desire to be married at this time, so whatever offer my mother promised you cannot be fulfilled on my account.”

He frowns. “Surely, a girl of your age understands the need for a husband in this economy. A comfortable life could save you the misfortune of attending these dances.”

“If you do not mind my candor, I do not believe a comfortable life for me would include you in it. I sincerely hope you are able to find a wife who is best suited to help you run your estate.”

You curtsy for him, ignoring the malicious sneer he throws your way. You scurry into the drawing room, searching for Yujin and finding her near the piano. Minji is playing to her heart’s content and it seems she has been doing so for hours, and your father walks over to tell her to be mindful of other people’s time.

You loop your arm around Yujin’s to get her attention.

“Oh, how was it?” She exclaims enthusiastically as you pull her away. “You did not look so pleased to be in Mr. Lee’s presence from what I could see.”

You huff. “Truly an understatement. And you will not believe the kind of proposal Mr. Nakamoto approached me with.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Do not tell me-“

“I denied it, of course. It would have been a loveless coupling, much to my mother’s chagrin.”

She frowns at your indifference. “You know, you are blissfully lucky to even have such an offer come across you. Your family has only been in high society for a few months yet you have already gotten a marriage proposal from a wealthy suitor.”

“Is that all you heard? A wealthy suitor,” you repeat with a scoff. “Yujin, Mr. Nakamoto has despised my family since Jimin came of age. I would like to think I should get a say in who I marry and not just because he is inheriting my father’s pocket.”

You brush off her continued sorrow over your situation. Your eyes scan the room, seeing your mother hang by the staircase with a glass of wine in her hands, loudly praising Jimin for catching the attention of Jaemin. Jimin, on the other hand, is conversing quietly with him a few feet away, awkwardly tucking her hair behind her ears and avoiding his gaze. Minji is tugging Minjeong along now that she is not berating a crowd with her piano playing, the both of them laughing at some of the guests around them.

“I believe my family is entertaining the masses well enough,” you muse.

She laughs and nods, sweeping your previous conversation about Yuta under the rug.

“The upside is that Mr. Na does not seem to mind,” she says, and the two of you watch him laugh at something Jimin has whispered.

“I think he is quite devoted to her.”

She hums. “But does she return his favor?”

You chuckle. “What are you on about? Of course she does! He’s all she ever thinks about.”

“All I am saying is that having a wonderful man like Mr. Na becoming smitten is a rare chance. However, if Jimin does not outwardly express her intentions, he could be deterred from continuing his advances.”

You shake your head. “She’s just shy, you know that. She is not the type to wear her heart on her sleeve like most other women.”

“But Mr. Na is not well acquainted with that fact. He does not know her as we do. She has to take advantage of his love before the clock runs out.”

You study your sister and her suitor, wondering if Yujin was right.

Your eyes drift over to catch Jeno’s, who is intently watching you from across the room. His hands are folded behind his back and despite the many women surrounding him, he only has his gaze directed at you. You interpret it in the wrong fashion, assuming he has once again taken on a mission to taunt you.

You hold your head high, hauling Yujin to the next room and disregarding the irritating presence of Lee Jeno.

—

It is weeks later when your family catches news that Jaemin is leaving the city.

Jimin is utterly distraught, ostracizing herself in her room while your mother frantically runs around the house, insisting the news cannot be true. You hesitantly approach Jimin as she is crying on her bed, curled up with her face stuffed in her pillow. You brush back her hair and sigh.

“Mr. Na is an idiot for leaving without proposing to you,” you say, trying your best to comfort her. “All of us could see he was so taken with you. I am sure he will return soon and bring you with him.”

“Do not bother,” she sniffles, wiping the tears falling down her cheeks. “I knew I could never be an acceptable fit for him. He saw our family and ran for the hills.”

“Stop putting yourself below him,” you scold. “You were a very acceptable match for him and it is his fault if he could not see how uniquely extraordinary you are. He will learn his regret soon.”

You leave her to wallow in her sadness, telling your mother to stop her fussing and leave Jimin alone. You catch some fresh air outside, basking in the sunlight before you hear the crunch of leaves from behind you.

You barely register Yujin’s form until she’s tackling you in a hug. You gasp and lock your arms tight around her.

“What on earth are you doing here?” You laugh, and she gives you another squeeze before pulling away. You take in the anxiety clouding her face.

“I have come to tell you the joyful news — Mr. Nakamoto and I are engaged.”

You take a step back, astonished by the reveal. You blink rapidly and stutter. “E-Engaged? To be wed?”

“Of course, silly. What other kind of engaged is there?” She drinks in your nauseated expression and sighs. “Do not give me that. You should be perfectly happy for me.”

“But he is ridiculous! And so much older than you. Yujin, you cannot possibly-“

“Yes, I can,” she replies in a stern tone. “Not all of us can afford to have choices. He is offering me a comfortable life and a beautiful home. And now, your family will no longer have to worry that some tyrant will swoop in and steal your father’s earnings.”

“But Yujin-“

She continues. “My father is very close to losing his job and my family is in danger of falling from high society. I do not have many prospects, and I am very thankful that Mr. Nakamoto approached me. I am terribly frightened, do you not see? So please, do not judge me.”

You embrace her. “I apologize, I did not realize how tough it must have been for you.”

She shakily returns your affection. “Promise me you will come visit when you can? Lady Park has a wonderful cottage that we will be staying in when we are married.”

You nod. “I most certainly will. I have to ensure you are being taken care of properly.”

She giggles. “I will miss you.”

After a tearful goodbye, you watch Yujin’s figure disappear into the horizon and return home. You feel a plethora of emotions swirling around your head from Yujin’s future — mainly concern but also a feeling of happiness for her safety. As much as you were not fond of Yuta, you know he would still treat her with respect.

You are taken aback when you enter your home to see your mother with a handful of garments in her arms. She rushes up the stairs with Minji following closely behind. You fume when you see her entering Jimin’s room.

“Mother, I told you to leave Jimin well enough alone!”

You ascend the staircase and follow them, confused when you see a suitcase splayed out on Jimin’s bed as your mother stuffs clothing into it as fast as she can.

“Oh, there you are!” Your mother exclaims at the sight of you. “Come here and help Jimin pack for her trip. Where in heavens did you disappear to?”

Your eldest sister is now up on her feet, looking slightly more lively. Minji is eagerly folding dresses for her.

You speak slowly. “I was out speaking with Yujin. She is betrothed to Mr. Nakamoto.”

They all pause at the news. Your mother is the most engaged, furious by the revelation.

“I told you! Mr. Nakamoto is a reputable man who could have brought you wonderful children.” You wince at the thought. “You should have accepted his proposal when he offered!”

“Oh mother,” Jimin interjects, coming to your defense. “The man did not even have the decency to ask father for permission.”

“What exactly are we packing for?” You ask, desperate to move the topic of conversation far from you.

Your mother immediately brightens, forgetting about nagging you for a second. “Jimin is going out of the city to stay with your aunt and uncle! She will remain for a visit until Mr. Na sees the error of his ways.”

You frown, approaching them as they continue to pack Jimin’s belongings.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Of course it’s what she wants!”

You and Jimin ignore your mother’s enthusiasm. She nods at you, smiling softly.

“I think so. No, no, I believe so. I want to fight for him.”

You smile at the sparkle of determination in your sister’s eye. You happily help her fold the rest of her belongings.

Your mother has already called the carriage, with Minjeong holding the door open with a disinterested look on her face. Jimin envelops her in a hug as she passes and you see Minjeong’s hardened expression melt a little.

You all help Jimin into the carriage and wave her off, praying to the heavens that Na Jaemin will offer her a second chance.

—

You breathe in the smell of the quaint countryside, laughing when Yujin comes bursting out the front door of her cottage and embraces you tightly.

“I cannot believe you are finally here! I have waited so long for your arrival,” she says.

“I am delighted the weather was favorable enough for the trip,” you murmur, pulling away and smiling softly. “This is a lovely home, Yujin.”

“Oh please, you flatter me so. You have not yet seen the inside!”

She pulls you through the door, and you drink in the sight of the living room. It feels warm and cozy, which is exactly what you would expect from a home decorated by your friend.

Yuta comes walking down the long hallway, eyeing you.

“I see you have made a successful trip here.”

You curtsy. “Yes, Mr. Nakamoto. I am honored that you and Yujin have allowed me to stay for a short period.”

“You know you can stay for as long as you like!” Yujin exclaims. “I have missed your company a great many.”

She guides you into the room where you will take your stay. She helps you unpack your luggage, admiring the new dresses you have acquired in her absence.

“And how is Jimin? I was curious to know of her whereabouts since the last letter of yours arrived.”

You sigh. “It has been months since she left to stay with our aunt and uncle. No progress has been made for her and Mr. Na, and I fear for her heartbreak when she returns to us.”

Yujin frowns. “How dreadful. I do hope she is able to win his affections before it is too late.”

“Whatever the case may be, Mr. Na has surely lost a beautiful bride.”

She hums in agreement.

Yuta interrupts your conversation hours later, rushing into your room with a delighted expression.

“Yujin! Lady Park has asked us to come to supper,” he declares.

Yujin stands from her spot on your bed, clapping her hands in excitement.

“Oh, wonderful! That is absolutely delightful.” She turns to you, gripping your elbows. “You must come with us. Lady Park would be overjoyed to meet you.”

“O-Oh,” you stutter, unsure of what to say. “I haven’t got much to wear.”

Yuta brushes off your concern. “Lady Park is not averse to your manner of dress. Simply put on your best and you can accompany us.”

You join Yujin and Yuta that evening to meet Lady Park at her grand estate, which is merely a few miles away from their cottage. You hold your breath as you enter the grand drawing room, where Lady Park sits with her daughter, Chaeyoung.

You curtsy in respect alongside Yujin, and Lady Park eyes you warily.

“We are honored you have asked us to dine with you tonight, Lady Park,” Yujin says, hands folded neatly above her stomach.

You are about to voice your agreement until a creak in the hardwood distracts you. Your eyes flutter over to the doorway to catch the sight of Jeno entering.

“Mr. Lee,” you murmur in surprise. “I did not expect to see you here.”

The familiar burn of his stare welcomes you. He bows his head and you return the favor.

He says your name, and you feel a rush travel down your spine. You have not heard him speak since the night of the dance.

“I am a guest here,” he explains simply.

Lady Park stands from her seat on the chaise lounge.

“You are familiar with my nephew?”

You digest the information, storing away the fact that Yuta never mentioned Jeno was related to Lady Park.

“Yes, I had the privilege of meeting your nephew a few months ago, ma’am.”

You hear Jeno almost scoff at the suggestion of your encounter being anything but dreadful. You clench your fists behind your back to prevent an outburst.

“And this is my cousin,” Jeno introduces, stepping aside to allow another man to come into your line of vision. He smiles and bows. “Park Jisung.”

You pay your courtesy and Lady Park instructs the group to gather in the dining room for supper. You take a spot next to Jisung and across from Yujin.

Before you can get comfortable, Lady Park scolds Yuta. “Mr. Nakamoto, you cannot sit next to your wife and only converse with her. Switch with our guest.”

You awkwardly switch places with Yuta, now sitting next to Yujin and Jeno. Your shoulder brushes by his, and he instinctively leans closer to you. Your breath hitches slightly at the proximity.

With the seating arrangements in order, you all take your seats and begin dining into the feast.

Jeno clears his throat. “Has your family been faring well?”

It takes a moment for you to register that he is speaking to you. You glance at him, only to find him engrossed in his meal.

“They have been doing well, all things considered,” you reply. You cannot help but prod him for answers. “Jimin has actually gone to stay with our aunt and uncle, close to where Mr. Na is staying. Perhaps you have seen her.”

He looks at you. “I have not had the pleasure, no.”

You purse your lips. “What a shame. I know she would be delighted to have your company.”

He hums. “Is that so? Is she the only one who would enjoy my companionship at this time?”

Your mouth hangs open in surprise at his confidence. A sliver of his true personality shows, with the corner of his lips threatening to lift.

Lady Park interrupts your exchange as she calls your name.

“Do you play the piano?”

You shake your head, trying to disregard that Lee Jeno’s character seems to be more than that of a boring nobleman. “Not very well, ma’am. I’m afraid that is a talent reserved for my youngest sister.”

“And your sisters — how many of you are out in society?”

You smile as politely as you can. “All of us, ma’am.”

Lady Park is shocked by the revelation. “All of you? All at once? The youngest being out before the oldest ones are married? Why, that is unheard of.”

“I should not think to burden my younger sisters simply because the oldest ones are not yet wed. They deserve to have their fair share of enjoyment,” you voice, ignoring her continued surprise by your candor.

“You have a lot of opinions for a girl so young and still not in charge of her own household,” Lady Park sighs. “It would do you well to hold your tongue.”

Your fingers tighten around your spoon but you’re amazed when Jeno speaks up.

“I think she is very gifted for her age, considering her family was not born in the faces of high society. I do not think playing the piano would truly showcase the talent she encompasses.”

Lady Park’s lips dissolve into a thin line at her nephew’s impudence. You swallow the jarring emotions you feel at Jeno’s blatant defense of you.

“Well, I must be carrying the customs of my time then. However, I shall hear you play a piece for us after supper.”

“Ma’am, I stress to you that I do not lie when I say I play the piano poorly-“

Yuta hisses your name across the table, throwing you a stern glance. Yujin has a pleading look painting her own features.

“She would be happy to play for you,” Yuta says firmly, with no room for argument.

You swallow your dispute, looking back down at your bowl of soup as Lady Park scolds her daughter for her poor posture. In the corner of your eye, you see Jeno’s hand twitch.

Your head raises and you catch his stare — his eyes no longer holding the small glimmer of amusement you caught earlier.

The last thing you want is for Lee Jeno to feel sorry for you, so you return to finishing your meal, brushing off his concern.

After dinner, you go back to the drawing room and hesitantly take a seat at the grand piano in the corner of the room.

Your fingers clumsily press down on the keys, playing an off-tune version of the last piece you memorized. The group continues to chatter behind you as Lady Park invites Yujin to come visit whenever she pleases. Jeno slowly approaches you and you shake your head.

“There is no need to point out my terrible sense of musical inclination, Mr. Lee. It is a flaw I’m very well acquainted with.”

“I had no intention to do so,” he replies. “And no gentleman would ever raise attention to a fault a woman believes she has, even if he disagrees with her.”

You stop playing briefly to look up at him. He’s already staring back at you, his eyes now conveying an emotion you cannot recognize. You wonder what you would find if you peeled back a few layers of his hard exterior.

Jisung draws near, his hand cupping Jeno’s shoulder with familiarity.

“You must tell me how my dear cousin behaved when he was in your town.”

You laugh under your breath. “I must disappoint you, Mr. Park, as your cousin was very indifferent during his stay. Despite the many women begging for a dance and the lack of suitors on the floor, Mr. Lee still insisted on keeping to himself and refusing to make conversation with others.”

Jisung chuckles. “Truth be told, that sounds very akin to the cousin I know. I have never seen him dance with another woman willingly.”

You pause, remembering how Jeno asked you to dance the night of Jaemin’s ball. You recall how nervous he looked when he faced you, almost as if he was jumping out of his socks.

Jeno clenches his jaw. “Well, dear cousin, I am sure you understand how difficult it is for me to gab about with people I’m not familiar with. Dances are not something I take pleasure in.”

You interject. “Even if it is a woman’s choice of love language? A way you can show her your affection?”

The corner of his mouth twitches as he catches on to what you’re referring to.

“Perhaps then, there could be an exception.”

Lady Park admonishes you for not playing as instructed and you return to the piano, paying no heed to Jeno’s presence for the rest of the evening.

—

Your hand aches as you finish writing your letter to Jimin, sealing the envelope carefully.

You are anxious by the state of your sister’s duress, as it seems Mr. Na has still not come to visit her. Jimin is growing more and more disappointed by the day, feeling as if she has burdened your family with this ridiculous adventure. You wish you could see her and tell her that she would never be a burden to you, but writing a letter is the only communication you can give to her at this time while you continue your stay with Yujin and Yuta.

Just as you place the envelope back down on the table in your room, the door swings open.

You’re startled when Jeno walks through the door, his eyes frantic.

“Mr. Lee,” you say, failing to hide the surprise in your voice as you stand.

You both pay your respects and you wait for him to explain the meaning of his visit, as it has been a week since you saw him at Lady Park’s dinner festivities. However, the words seem to be caught in his throat because he says nothing to you, opening and closing his mouth furiously.

“Mr. and Mrs. Nakamoto went to the village,” you bring up, pondering if that was the reason he was here.

“Yes,” he clears his throat, fiddling with the sleeves of his coat. “Yes, it is a nice day to go to the village.”

You nod, still trying to decipher the reason why he’s here with no notice.

“This- This is a beautiful home,” he notes, bouncing from one foot to another.

It is the most disheveled you have ever seen him.

“Yes, I think so as well. Should I fetch us some tea?”

He immediately shakes his head. “No, no.”

You sit in an unpleasant silence for another few moments before you hear the front door open, signaling Yujin and Yuta’s return.

“Have a good day,” Jeno quickly says, walking swiftly down the hallway and out the cottage, not even bothering to acknowledge Yujin’s presence when he passes by.

Yujin stares incredulously after him, eyes darting over to you.

“What on earth have you done to poor Mr. Lee?”

You shake your head, puzzled by the odd interaction.

“I have no idea.”

—

“There are many conveniences which others may supply and which we cannot procure for ourselves…”

You fight the yawn threatening to come out as Yuta drones on in his sermon. One of the downsides of staying with Yujin and Yuta was the weekly attendance at the local church, where Yuta often read verses for the people. Yujin is always enthralled by her husband’s lectures, but you do not share her level of enthusiasm.

You lean over to whisper to Jisung, who is seated next to you.

“How much longer will you be in town, Mr. Park?”

“As long as my cousin needs,” he answers. “I am at his disposal.”

You scoff, imagining exactly how many people Jeno had at his disposal.

“I wonder why he does not marry so he can bring a woman alongside him instead of dragging you,” you quip.

Jisung laughs quietly. “If he did choose a woman, she would be very lucky. Jeno is a loyal man to both friends and family alike. I heard he recently helped save a friend from an unwise marriage.”

You frown. “Who was the friend?”

“One of his closest companions, Na Jaemin.”

Your features twist into a scowl, and you spot Jeno sitting across the church. Your chest fills with an indescribable rage.

“Did he explain why?” You ask Jisung.

“There were a lot of objections to the lady. I believe her family was not considered to be the right fit for a nobleman of his status.”

You could nearly feel the steam coming out of your ears. So this was the truth — Jeno found your family completely unruly and unfit for his standards and in return, he cut off Jimin’s chance of finding love. All of the pieces click into place and you clench your fists, wondering who gave him the right to dictate the fate of your family.

As soon as the sermon ends, you find the quickest exit, refusing to wait for Yujin and Yuta. You decide you must get back to their cottage to write to Jimin, insisting she come home and end her useless pining after Jaemin.

You gasp when you realize it’s raining, the heavy downpour soaking your dress. You waste no time, running as fast as you can until the church is no longer in sight.

After a mile, you see a nearby gazebo and decide to take shelter there to catch your breath. You place a hand on your chest, staring down at the hem of your dress, which is now covered in mud and dirt.

The call of your name causes you to gasp, and you look up to find the main character of your distress.

Jeno is also completely soaked from head to toe and offers you no time to say a word. “I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past few months have been a torment. I came here with the sole purpose of seeing you and I must tell you how I am feeling. I am fighting against my family’s expectation and the inferiority of your birth because I am asking you to end my agony.”

You shake your head. “I do not understand-“

“I love you,” he confesses. You freeze, appalled by the revelation. “Most ardently. Please do me the honor by accepting my hand.”

You grit your teeth. “I apologize, Mr. Lee, for having caused you pain since our first meeting. I assure you it was not my intention.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Is this your reply?”

“Yes.”

“So it is a rejection?”

“Yes.”

He swallows. “May I ask why you are so quick to voice your refusal?”

You laugh. “Then may I ask why you think it is so brave of you to confess your love for me against your better judgment? I must be so uncouth for you to hold onto your feelings for so long instead of speaking them to me!”

“I did not mean-“

“And I am frankly horrified to think that you believe me to have no dignity that I would accept the hand in marriage of a man who has ruined the fate of my eldest sister, whom I admire with all of my heart!”

His expression falls at the mention of Jimin, and you laugh mockingly at catching his lie.

“Do you deny it, Mr. Lee? Breaking up a young couple in the height of their affection and forcing my sister to question her self-worth?”

“I do not deny it,” he replies sternly.

“What gave you the right-“

“I watched them out of respect for my friend and realized his attachment was deeper than hers,” he explains, but it only causes you to grow angrier.

“She’s shy! She has never been courted so seriously by another man before, especially not one that became so public,” you vouch for her.

He stands his ground. “Jaemin had realized she was not returning his affection with the same amount of passion-“

“Only after you suggested it!”

“I did it for his own good!”

“My sister rarely shows her true feelings to me,” you yell, and Jeno is taken aback. “You will never understand the burden an eldest sister has to face when there are no sons born to the family. You will never understand the weight on her shoulders when Mr. Nakamoto is knocking on the door, waiting to take away what little fortune your family possesses!”

He continues to defend himself. “There was a call into the character of your family and the suggestion of an advantageous marriage-“

You sneer. “How dare you assume Jimin would pursue such a thing!”

“It was not her, but your mother, on the other hand-“

You taunt him. “And what of Lee Donghyuck?”

He narrows his eyes and takes a step closer to you. “Lee Donghyuck?” He speaks the name as if someone poured acid on his tongue.

“What excuse could you possibly conjure of your behavior towards him?”

He purses his lips. “You take a great deal of interest in Donghyuck.”

“How can you defend the misfortunes you have put him in?”

He smiles mockingly. “Ah yes, I’m sure his misfortunes are vast in comparison to mine. I see that this is how you view me — a horrible villain who casts a dark shadow wherever he goes.”

“You are the one who has decided to insult the inferiority of my birth, which is beyond my own control! That arrogance and selfish disdain for the feelings of others is why I believe you are the last man in the world I would ever consider to marry!”

His expression crumbles. It is only now that you recognize how short the proximity between you two has gotten. He seems to have grasped the situation as well, eyes flickering downwards to stare at your lips. You swear that he begins to lean in before he stops himself.

You think you would let him kiss you, despite all signs pointing to it being a bad idea. The desire building in your stomach has you questioning your common sense.

There is no possible way you want Lee Jeno to kiss you, to mark you as his, to marry you in front of all those presumptuous nobles like Lady Park-

“Forgive me for taking up so much of your time.”

He turns and walks away, leaving you panting with a gaping hole in your chest.

—

Days pass before you hear from Jeno.

You contemplate returning home, but Yujin convinces you to stay for a little while longer. You write out a letter to Jimin to tell her everything, but for some reason, you never send it. You fear the gruesome picture you will paint of Jeno and consequently, Jimin’s feelings towards him. You somehow care for your sister’s approval for the rich nobleman although you turned down his proposal.

It’s another dreary night when Jeno shakes the cottage with his presence. You hear his blazing footsteps behind you but you refuse to look at him, staring at the wall in your room with your back turned to him.

He clears his throat. “I came to drop off this.”

You do not know what he has left, ignoring the miniscule part of your brain that screams at you to check.

You speculate on what he looks like — was he wearing that dreary trench coat he likes to walk around in? Was he wearing a mask of contempt at his behavior? Did he really mean what he said? Did he really love you?

“I shall not repeat the confessions that were so insulting to you, but if I may, I will address the two offenses you have laid against me,” he says.

You want to see him. You want to see if he has that stricken expression on his face, if he still has a hint of playfulness hidden in his eyes.

But when you turn around, he is gone. You would believe you had imagined him if not for the letter sitting neatly on the windowsill.

You swallow and open it, eyes scanning over his neat penmanship.

My father loved Donghyuck like a son. After his passing, my father left him a generous living, but Donghyuck made it clear that he would not be taking orders. He gambled away his living within weeks and demanded for more money from me, insisting it was what my father would have wanted. I refused, and he severed all acquaintance thereafter. He returned to us last summer in an attempt to court my sister, Jayoon, and convince her to elope with him. My sister is to inherit half of our estate. When it was made clear Donghyuck would not be receiving a penny of that inheritance, he disappeared once more. I will not try to explain the depth of Jayoon’s despair.

You gasp, eyes shuffling through the ink in disbelief. You could not comprehend the deceit and maliciousness Donghyuck possessed. The man you met was so poised and charismatic, but you suppose all the best con men were.

As for the matter of your sister and Jaemin, though the motives which governed me may to you appear insufficient, they were in the service of a friend.

Yujin’s voice pulls you out of your stupor. She enters your room, carrying a tray of your meal for the night. A worried look crosses her face at the sight of you, and that is when you realize you have started to cry. You wipe the tears falling down your cheeks.

“Are you okay?” Yujin asks, frantically coming over to you.

You hide Jeno’s letter behind your back, clutching onto it for dear life.

“I-I hardly think so.”

She lays her forehead on yours, understanding what you need.

“I believe it’s time for you to return home.”

—

“Honestly, if he passed by me in the street, I would hardly even recognize him.”

You brush off Jimin’s blatant lie and ignore the way she is combing her fingers through her hair as a nervous tick. She frowns at your faint smirk.

“It is true!” She claims, hitting your arm with mischief. “Anyway, what news comes from your visit with Mr. and Mrs. Nakamoto?”

You returned home shortly after Jeno delivered his letter. Yujin was sorrowful to see you go, but she recognized you needed to be with your family, no matter how loud and boisterous they could get. Jimin arrived a day before you, declaring her efforts worthless, much to your mother’s displeasure.

Jimin insists the experience was a pleasant one and that she learned a great many, and you would not dare refute her claims despite the numerous letters you received that say the opposite.

You smile at your sister’s question. “Nothing exciting.”

You had decided to keep the contents of Jeno’s letter for yourself, afraid to admit your blossoming feelings and ignorance at your accusations towards him. Considering Jimin is handling the loss of Jaemin better than expected, you also did not want to burden her with the truth.

The door to the drawing room bursts open and Minji comes parading through, screaming wildly.

“The heavens have truly blessed me!”

You raise an eyebrow at her as she collapses on the lounge, dress flowing across her hips in an improper fashion. Minjeong follows her into the room, looking cross with her hands folded across her chest.

“They are not sending you there because you are a suitable wife, they are sending you there because you are a disgrace to the family!”

“Minjeong!” You scold her, watching as Minji simply laughs at her sister’s insult. “What on earth are you two jabbering about?”

“Father is sending me to live with the Baek family,” Minji divulges, wiggling her feet in excitement.

Jimin stands, outraged by the information. “What? Minji, the Baek family live across town!”

“Yes, and is it not so delightful?” She giggles, ignoring you and Jimin’s worries. “There will be a handful of suitors there at my disposal!”

You and Jimin exchange a knowing glance before heading to your father’s office. He appears to be expecting your arrival, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in anticipation of your anger.

“Father, you cannot send Minji away to the Baek family,” Jimin begins.

You continue. “She will make a fool out of herself and ridicule this family! She needs to be educated properly here, at home.”

Your father sighs. “Girls, you know I have tried with your sister, but she has become too complacent for my teachings. I trust Colonel Baek and his family to educate her about becoming well-behaved.”

“Father!” Jimin yells, utterly displeased. “Minji is not some farm animal you can dispose of as you please! She is part of this family, and her careless behavior is ours to own.”

“You cannot send her away or we might lose her forever.”

Your father shakes his head. “I’m sorry, girls, but my decision has been made. Minji will live with the Baek family and we will pray for success to come her way.”

You both scoff at him, infuriated by his carelessness. You leave his office and travel to the den in the kitchen, where your aunt and uncle are quietly eating. They have decided to stay for a while after dropping off Jimin.

Your aunt calls your name with joy. “Oh, you must join us this time out to the gardens in the district. It would do you well to take in some fresh air.”

You smile politely and take a seat on the bench across from your aunt. Your mind is still whirling at the thought of Minji, all alone, faring for herself at the countryside.

“I am satisfied staying here. I just returned from a trip to see a friend.”

Your uncle waves you off. “Come with us! There are many soldiers stationed in the area and plenty of suitors for your eyes to take in.”

“I have no desire to converse with them, uncle. Men are overtaken by their own arrogance or stupidity, and it would be a waste of my time to entertain them.”

Your aunt laughs mockingly at your pessimistic declaration.

“Well, what a voice of bitterness! My dear, do not allow your opinion of one man to cloud the wonderful soldiers who could bend and worship the ground you walk on,” your aunt advises.

You shake your head in disagreement.

“Men bring nothing but heartache.”

—

Much to your chagrin, your aunt and uncle convince you to travel with them through the district.

You are slightly grateful for their coercion as the breathtaking weather allows you to take a break from your resounding problems, albeit momentarily.

You stop in the middle of the journey as one of the wheels on your carriage is starting to lose its weight, and the coachman requires you to pull over so he can fix it. You lean on one of the nearby trees as your aunt and uncle sit beside you.

“Where exactly are we?” You ask, taking a look at your surroundings, yet all that encompasses you is trees.

“I believe we are close to the Lee estate.”

Your ears perk up. “Lee Jeno?”

“Yes, that’s the fellow,” your uncle murmurs. “I heard his estate is surrounded by a great lake. I have an immense desire to see it for myself.”

“Oh, let’s not,” you immediately object.

Your aunt and uncle turn to you with a raised eyebrow, curious about your swift rejection.

You clear your throat. “I mean, he is awfully busy, I am sure. We would not want to bother him.”

“Do not fret, dear,” your aunt assures. “Great men like him are usually never home.”

You swallow down your further protests, refusing to tell your aunt and uncle the real reason why you cannot see Jeno again.

Once the carriage is fixed, you travel to the Lee estate. As many have vouched, the estate expands beyond your wildest dreams. A large lake covers the entire front yard, with more windows and doors around the house than you could ever conjure up in your mind.

One of the maidens comes out to greet you. Your aunt and uncle are eager to receive a tour and you glance around, picturing the spots where Jeno would walk through, probably dragging that awful trench coat behind him. You giggle at the thought.

“Has something caught your interest, ma’am?” The maiden asks you and you jump, quickly wiping the smile off of your face.

“Oh, no, no. I was simply wondering if Mr. Lee’s sister was home.”

She nods. “Yes, the young girl is likely wrapped up in her piano lesson. You may go search for her while I show your aunt and uncle the gardens if you wish.”

Your aunt touches your arm fondly. “Meet us back at the lodging when you are finished.”

You faintly hear the sound of the piano drift from upstairs, and you follow the noise. You drink in your sights as you go, marveling at the expensive marble columns and gold accents of the house. You ponder over the idea of Jeno choosing the decorations himself.

You finally find the door to one of the drawing rooms, and you open it by a sliver. You catch a glimpse of Jayoon’s long hair with her back turned towards you, her fingers playing a melody as if she had memorized it from birth. You gape at the young girl’s talent.

Your heart beats wildly in your chest when Jeno’s frame comes into view, tapping Jayoon on the shoulder and surprising her. She gasps and jumps into his arms, clearly not expecting his presence.

You make the mistake of moving your foot, which causes the hard flooring to creak beneath your weight. The sound alerts Jeno and his head turns to the entrance of the doorway, where he catches your eye.

You wheeze, quickly spinning around and darting back down the stairs. You must look like a clumsy oaf but you do not care, trying your best at getting as far from the estate as possible. You manage to find yourself outside, but before you can descend down the back entryway, you hear Jeno calling your name.

You squeeze your eyes shut momentarily before slowly facing him.

“I-I apologize, I thought you were out of town.”

He swallows, his once confident stare now filled with nothing but anxiety.

“I came home a day early,” he explains.

He’s wearing that long trench coat again. You wonder if he ever takes it off.

“We wouldn’t have come if we had known you were here-“

“I had some business with my steward-“

You both pause when you realize you’re speaking over one another. His eyes soften at the sight of you.

You avoid his gaze.

“I’m visiting with my aunt and uncle.”

He nods. “And are you having a pleasant trip?”

You blink nervously. “Yes. Tomorrow we are heading to the district before going back home.”

“Tomorrow?” You swear you hear the disappointment in his voice, but it could be a figment of your imagination. “Are you staying nearby?”

You nod and tell him where you’ll be lodging. You place your hand over your chest in an attempt to control your frenzied heartbeat.

“I apologize again for intruding. They said the house was open for visitors and I had no idea you would be home-“

“You’re always welcome here,” he says, his voice filled with honesty. Goosebumps rise on your arms at his frank statement. “Shall I see you into town?”

“No, no,” you object, taking a step back. “I would much prefer to walk. I like to do that — to walk.”

You want to hit yourself over the head. You sound foolish.

Jeno just smiles, laughing to himself. You do not think you have ever seen him this way. Your stomach erupts with butterflies at the sight of his handsome grin.

“Yes, I’m well acquainted with that fact.”

You stare down at your feet, recalling the day you had run nearly three miles in the rain instead of waiting for Yujin and Yuta’s carriage. You’re curious if Jeno had to also run that far just to catch you. Did he catch a cold?

“I shall see myself off then. Goodbye, Mr. Lee.”

You curtsy, refusing to take another glance at him before fleeing the grounds of the estate.

You think about him on your walk back into the village. You envision him as a child, running through the gardens and playing games with the staff. You smile at the thought.

When you find the inn you’ll be staying at for the night, you inform your aunt and uncle of your return before slipping into your room. You decide to freshen up before supper, ridding your mind of any thoughts related to Jeno. You remind yourself that you will likely not see him again, so any of these confusing feelings that are rising need to be squashed.

Your aunt and uncle, however, have a different idea when you join them downstairs.

“My dear, Mr. Lee was just here!”

“What?”

“Yes!” Your uncle is overjoyed. “He invited us to dine with him tomorrow. You don’t mind delaying our journey another day, do you?”

“I-I suppose not.”

An ominous shiver runs down your spine.

—

A lively tune greets you at the Lee estate.

You pause when you see Jayoon playing at the keys with Jeno standing beside the piano to hear her. She stops when she sees you enter the drawing room, jumping up and running over to curtsy before you. She says your name with clear fondness.

You smile and return the curtsy, a little startled by her warmth towards you.

“My sister, Jayoon,” Jeno introduces, walking over. Your breath hitches at his presence.

“My brother has told me so much about you,” Jayoon beams. Your eyes flit to Jeno’s frame, and his head is bowed slightly in embarrassment. “I feel as if we are friends already.”

“It is an honor to finally meet you,” you say. “You play the piano beautifully.”

She bashfully stares down at her feet. “You flatter me so. My brother tells me you’re an exceptional player as well.”

You laugh. “Then he has uttered the most ridiculous lie.”

Jeno chuckles, staring yearningly at you.

“To be fair, I said you were a good player.”

“Ah, well good is not quite exceptional, now is it?”

He smiles at your jest. You both fail to notice how long you have been gazing at one another until Jayoon clears her throat. You divert your eyes and Jeno ignores how red his ears have gotten.

He addresses your aunt and uncle, who are standing behind you.

“I have heard your uncle is fond of fishing.”

“Yes, very much so,” your uncle replies with elation.

“I would be honored if you joined me out on the lake today,” Jeno invites, and your uncle nearly jumps for joy.

“And what about you?” Jayoon asks. “Do you play duets on the piano?”

You chuckle. “Not if I can help it.”

“Oh, brother, you must make her!” Jayoon says playfully.

Jeno looks at you. “She has quite the independent mind, dear sister. I am afraid I cannot make her do anything she does not wish.”

You do not return his stare, fearing you’ll get lost in his eyes.

Jeno and your uncle head to the lake to begin their fishing session while you and your aunt stay with Jayoon to chat and play the piano. You’re in the midst of drinking tea when Jayoon says something that nearly causes you to choke.

“My brother talks of you quite a lot,” Jayoon reveals with a knowing smile. Your aunt’s eyebrow ticks up. “He says you are different from the noblewomen we usually conversate with.”

“Yes, that sounds like something he would say,” you murmur, refusing to peer over at your aunt, who you know has a million questions to bombard you with. “I do not believe your brother chats with many noblewomen to begin with.”

Jayoon giggles. “You would fare on the correct side in relation to that guess. I have desired for him to find a lifelong partner but there has been no one who has peaked his interest until recently.”

You fiddle with your teacup, ignoring Jayoon’s smirk.

Your aunt’s puzzled tone speaks first. “How long has Mr. Lee been acquainted with my niece?”

“A few months only,” you answer before Jayoon can say something else that would embarrass you. “We met when Mr. Na first came into town.”

“Ah yes,” your aunt sighs, very familiar with Jaemin considering Jimin stayed in her home for weeks to capture his attention. “Does Mr. Na come to visit here often, Jayoon?”

She shakes her head. “Not as much lately. I believe he has been preoccupied for most of the season.”

Your aunt grumbles under her breath. You’re pleased by her disdain for Jaemin, understanding how tough this time has been for Jimin.

A maiden suddenly knocks on the door and Jayoon instructs her to enter. She says she has a letter for you and you furrow your eyebrows, taking the envelope from her hands. You recognize Jimin’s handwriting and rip open the letter immediately.

You gasp when you read its contents, placing Jayoon and your aunt on high alert.

“What is it, dear? What’s happened?”

You clutch your chest, heaving. “W-We must return home! At once!”

The two women try to stop you but you sprint out of the house and onto the lake, calling for your uncle with the most desperate voice you can muster. Jeno spots you first, quickly dropping his fishing rod and rushing over to you.

“What’s wrong? Are you injured?”

He clutches your elbows, scanning your figure for any visible wounds. You cannot stop the tears flowing down your face, your mind too overtaken with fear to think about how close Jeno is.

“It’s Minji,” you cry. “S-She has run away! With Lee Donghyuck!”

You crumble and he wraps his arms around you. Your uncle hurriedly comes to your side.

“What? When has this happened?”

“I do not know,” you choke back on your tears as Jeno gently wipes them away. “They do not know where she has gone! She has no money, no connections, no future!”

“This is my fault,” Jeno whispers. “I should have exposed Donghyuck.”

Your uncle gently takes the letter from your fingers, reading the words for himself. You hear Jayoon and your aunt approach, catching their breath from chasing you.

“What is it? What has her so enervated?” Your aunt questions.

Your uncle relays the message, including the part where your father has gone to the Baek family to search for Minji.

Jeno strokes your hair in comfort and you knock back your better judgment, digging your face into the collar of his trench coat.

“We must find Minji as soon as we can,” your aunt gasps. “If the news gets out, the family will be ruined!”

“I will fix it,” Jeno says with conviction.

You shake your head. “You can’t. This is my fault — I should have told my family the truth about Donghyuck or this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Do not blame yourself,” Jeno hisses, cupping his hands over your cheeks and forcing you to look at him. His eyes are filled with steadfast determination. “We will get this sorted.”

“I shall join your father in his search for Minji,” your uncle declares. “Mr. Lee, I ask for your favor in borrowing one of your carriages.”

“Of course,” Jeno agrees. “Jayoon, please show him the way.”

Jayoon casts another glance at you embraced in Jeno’s arms before guiding your uncle away.

“I will ask for our carriage to be prepared to take you home,” your aunt says, also leaving the two of you.

You sniffle, feeling shameful by your appearance in front of Jeno. He stares at you in distress.

“I apologize for my behavior-“

“I wish you would cease asking forgiveness in front of me. You never have to.”

Your breath hitches at his candor. Your bodies are as close to one another as the rainy day he first confessed to you. If you tilt your head forward a few inches, you could plant a kiss on his lips.

You compose yourself and take a step back.

“Mr. Lee, I-I should go.”

“Yes, yes,” he mumbles, clearly taken aback by his own actions. “I hope your family can remedy the situation.”

You turn to leave but he stutters out a request.

“And please, take care of yourself.”

You glance back at him, eyes welled with tears.

“You as well, Mr. Lee.”

—

When you return home, your mother is bedridden and wailing.

You and Jimin gather around her bed as she sobs. “Oh, what shall we do? You are all ruined. Who will wed you now with a fallen sister? And now your poor father will have to go off and fight Lee Donghyuck!”

You and Jimin exchange a glance. Jimin clears her throat.

“Father hasn’t even found Mr. Lee yet, mother.”

Your mother ignores her and continues. “And then Mr. Nakamoto will turn us out when your father is killed! Oh, Minji must know what this will do for my nerves. How can she vex her poor mother like this?”

You decide to head downstairs, agreeing that your mother’s avid concerns would not be subdued any time soon. You frown when you see Minjeong in the kitchen, holding a letter in her hands.

“What have you got there?”

Jimin snatches it out of Minjeong’s grasp and scans it herself. “It’s addressed to father. It’s in uncle’s writing.”

You hear the familiar sound of the carriage pulling up and you all dart outside, frantically waving the letter around.

“Father! Father!”

He groans, taking a step out of the carriage. “Let me get my bearings first.”

“It’s a letter for you! From uncle!” You say, thrusting it into his hands.

He opens it as he walks back to the house, dismissing your frantic jumping to read the contents.

“Well?” Minjeong says impatiently. “What does it say?”

“He’s found them.”

Jimin gasps. “Are they married?”

He squints. “I cannot make out the script-“

You seize it and read it for yourself. Jimin and Minjeong lurk over your shoulder.

“Are they married?” Jimin asks again.

You sigh. “They will be, under the condition that father pays Lee Donghyuck a small sum for Minji per year.”

Minjeong scoffs. “A small sum! How barbaric!”

“Well? Will you pay it, father?” Jimin questions. Minjeong takes the letter from you to read it again.

“Of course I will agree. The matter of the question is how much your uncle has already laid on this wretched man,” your father exhales, walking back into the house sluggishly.

You turn to Jimin. “What does he mean?”

She shrugs. “Uncle must have threatened Mr. Lee wickedly. For the situation, with the three of us still unmarried and the family’s reputation hanging by a thread, Mr. Lee would be foolish to only settle for a small sum.”

You scowl. “Heaven forbid the day we have to welcome that wretched man into the family.”

The day comes sooner than you think. Minji and Donghyuck arrive a few weeks later, with Minji beaming at her newfound status as a married woman. You roll your eyes at her airy nature at the dinner table.

“You must all visit the Baek family soon. That is the place to get husbands! I hope you have half of my good luck.”

“Good luck?” Minjeong scoffs. “You nearly ruined our family!”

Your mother scolds Minjeong for her outburst before turning to Minji with a smile.

“I want to hear every detail, my darling Minji.”

You and Jimin chuckle at your mother’s quick change in heart. She was out of bed and celebrating as soon as you told her the news of Minji getting married.

You exchange a look with Donghyuck across the table, and he appears remorseful. You mock him and laugh.

Minji rattles off the story about the last few weeks with Donghyuck and their wedding. You tell her you do not want to hear it but she ignores you.

“I wondered if my dear Donghyuck would be married in his blue coat, as I love the way he looks in it. And of course, because of the quick ceremony, I worried that uncle would not make it in time to be the best man. Luckily, he arrived on time or else I would’ve had to ask Mr. Lee Jeno but I don’t really like that man.”

You pause. “Lee Jeno?”

Minji gasps and covers her mouth, making sure no one else at the table heard her slip up. “Oh heavens, I forgot. I should not have said a word.”

You prod her further. “Mr. Lee was at your wedding?”

She lowers her voice into a whisper, and you realize she cannot help herself in dishing out the truth.

“He was the one who discovered us. He paid for everything — the wedding ceremony, Donghyuck’s sum, all of my new dresses, everything!” Her elated expression turns serious. “But do not say a word to anyone! He told me not to tell.”

You’re astounded by the secret. “M-Mr. Lee?” You clarify for your own sanity.

She shoots you a sour look. “Quit it!”

You sit back in your chair, feeling as if you need to catch your breath. You cannot believe Jeno went out of his way to save Minji and fix her horrid nuptials to Donghyuck. It’s no wonder that Donghyuck only asked for a small sum from your father as Jeno must have paid the rest.

You digest the information, wondering how it was possible for a man like Lee Jeno to exist and how it was possible that he so clearly loved a girl like you.

—

You hear rumors of Jaemin’s return to town, pushing Jimin to a state of disarray. She insists she does not care about his arrival, but when a local butcher tells you that he comes without a woman by his side, her interest is clearly piqued. You attempt to convince her to locate him, but she still persists she does not care about the origin of his visit.

You are lounging in the drawing room when Minjeong comes bursting through the door.

“He is here! Mr. Na is here!”

Her announcement sends the room into a frenzy, with your mother gasping and shooting out of her chair, nearly tripping over the furniture. Jimin is on her feet, combing her fingers through her hair and straightening her dress. You flee to the window, shocked when you see not only Jaemin approaching, but Jeno walking right beside him.

“Act natural, girls!” Your mother shouts, struggling to stand.

You quickly draw back from the window, hand over your heart. You are not thoroughly prepared to face Jeno again, especially now knowing how far he has gone to ensure your family wasn’t laid to ruin.

Your mother pushes Minjeong down into a seat and shoves some fabric into her hands to make it appear like she’s been embroidering. Jimin cries at you in despair and you help her tie a ribbon around her waist and brush her hair.

Your mother throws you a book and you all hurriedly sit in different areas of the room, looking as natural as you possibly can.

There is a knock on the door before one of your handmaidens enters.

“Mr. Na and Mr. Lee,” she introduces, stepping aside so the men can set foot in.

You all stand, curtsying as they bow. You beg your heart rate to stop thumping in your ears.

Jeno looks so attractive that it makes you want to curl into yourself and scream. He avoids your gaze, and you contemplate if he no longer wants to be with you because of Minji’s incident.

Jaemin opens his mouth to speak, but your mother beats him to it.

“How glad we are to see you again, Mr. Na! I am sure you have heard of my youngest getting married while you were away. We are very proud of her accomplishments.”

Jaemin smiles politely. “Yes, I heard the great news. I offer my congratulations.”

His eyes drift to Jimin’s form, and you see your sister smile timidly at him.

Your mother continues. “It is a shame that Mr. Lee Donghyuck lives so far. Having my youngest taken away at such an early age is no easy feat.”

You interrupt her, hoping to salvage the conversation for Jimin’s sake.

“How long are you in town for, Mr. Na?”

“Just a few weeks for the hunt.”

You forget that now is the best time for hunting season, and many men in town partake in the activity. Your eyes flit once again to Jeno’s form, and you catch him staring at you briefly before he looks away. The butterflies in your stomach will surely make you ill.

“Oh, Mr. Na, you must come here once you get bored of the game in town. My husband would love to oblige you,” your mother invites.

Jaemin’s smile never wavers. “Yes, that sounds splendid. Thank you.”

“How are you, Mr. Lee?” You ask.

You cannot help yourself. You have dreamed about him since you left the estate and he has to take accountability for your sleepless nights.

He momentarily glances at you. “I’m quite well, thank you.”

“I hope the weather is favorable when you go hunting,” you say.

He nods. “I return home tomorrow. I will not be participating in this year’s hunt.”

Your heart drops. “So soon?”

He refuses to look at you again.

“My Jimin looks beautiful, does she not?” Your mother questions Jaemin.

He stutters. “O-Oh yes, she does indeed.”

The room is filled with silence, and while you’re pleading for Jeno to look at you, Jimin is desperately wanting Jaemin to say more.

Jaemin swallows before clearing his throat. “W-Well, we must be going, I think. It was lovely to see you all again.”

“You must come visit,” your mother reminds him. “You promised last time you were in town that you would attend a family dinner.”

Jaemin awkwardly nods before scurrying out of the house. Jeno lingers, looking disappointed.

He bows his head. “Excuse me.”

The request for him to stay lays on the tip of your tongue but he exits before you can ask.

Once the two men are gone, you all collapse back in your seats. You rush to Jimin’s side as your mother voices, “How unusual!”

Your sister seems as optimistic as ever, despite the gloomy look in her eye.

“Perhaps that was for the best,” she hollowly laughs. “Now I will not have to go to bed wondering about my fate. He’s clearly moved on and is no longer interested.”

“Jimin,” you sigh, placing a hand over hers. “You do not have to fabricate your feelings to me. I may also be hiding some truths that I am not content with.”

Her head whips around. “Like what?”

Before you can finally tell her your secret, Minjeong’s voice screeches.

“He is back!”

“What?” Your mother screams, flinging her body at the window.

You catch the billowing of Jaemin’s coat before you’re being hauled up again by your mother. Jaemin enters the room in a more uncoordinated fashion, not even alerting the handmaiden so she can announce his presence. His hair is sticking up in random directions, indicating he was likely running his hands through it nervously.

“I apologize for my abrupt actions, but I would like to request an audience with Jimin if I may.”

All of your mouths drop open. Your mother speaks first.

“Everyone into the kitchen,” she instructs, and you nearly trip when she pushes you forward.

You grab Minjeong’s wrist and tug her with you. Your mother closes the door behind her and all three of you immediately press your ears against it to listen in.

“First, I must tell you that I have been a halfwitted and reckless fool,” you hear Jaemin start to say. You scoff, internally agreeing with him. Minjeong elbows you to be quiet. “And second, I want to atone for the months I have been away. My fair Jimin, I will wrong you no further. Would you do me the honor of accepting my hand in marriage?”

You all gasp.

Moments pass before Jimin’s shaky voice replies, “Yes, a thousand times yes!”

Your mother bursts open the door and screeches in delight.

“My heavens, I never believed the day would come!”

You hurry in to envelope Jimin in a hug and congratulate her. The embrace gives you a direct view of the window, where a stony Lee Jeno stands in a far distance. You hold your breath, hoping he would come inside as well and give his own second version of a proposal. You would not hesitate to accept this time.

However, he merely situates himself there for a few seconds longer before turning away and leaving. You shut your eyes, quelling the ache in your chest and pulling Jimin closer to congratulate her once again.

—

That night, you giggle as you lay in bed with your sister.

“A spring wedding!” She exclaims, and your heart is full at the sight of her happiness. “Oh, he just looked so nervous but he had no idea how my heart was pounding out of my chest, sister. I wish for you to be this happy one day.”

Unlike the way Minji declared it to demean you, Jimin says it with pure virtue.

You fake a smile, thinking about how you screwed up your chances of ever being with Jeno.

“Maybe Mr. Nakamoto has a friend.”

She bursts into laughter at your joke and you pretend to share her joy. Your satisfaction, however, is broken by the sound of a carriage pulling up outside.

You frown. “Do you hear that?”

It was already well past midnight, so if a visitor was approaching, it must have been with urgent news. You and Jimin hop out of bed and rush downstairs, where the rest of your family is also starting to gather.

There’s a knock at the door and your father wobbles over to answer it.

You gasp when you see who is behind it.

“L-Lady Park?”

The woman shuffles in haggardly, and you all curtsy and bow at her presence. She looks disturbed, mouth twisted into an angry frown.

Your father awkwardly talks first. “May I offer you a cup of tea, madam?”

“Absolutely not. I need to speak with your second oldest alone.”

All eyes turn to you. You swallow and step forward, gesturing to the drawing room and leading Lady Park inside. You shut the door, placing a candle on a nearby table to provide you some semblance of sight.

Your palms sweat at the thought of what Lady Park had to confront you with. Perhaps you should not have messed around with Jimin — maybe Lady Park really was here to marry you off to one of Mr. Nakamoto’s friends.

“I am sure you are not puzzled by the reasoning behind my visit.”

You blink. “You are mistaken, ma’am. I cannot conjure up why you have honored my family here tonight by your presence.”

She scowls. “I warn you, dear girl, I am not one to be trifled with. A message has reached me that my nephew, Mr. Lee, has intended to unite you in the union of marriage.” You freeze, your mind running through a myriad of scenarios. “I know this to be a scandalous falsehood, so I instantly traveled here to make my sentiments known.”

You narrow your eyes at her degrading tone. “If you had thought the rumor so impossible, I ponder why you decided to travel so far.”

She steps forward, her scowl transforming into an expression filled with more hatred.

“I came to hear it be contradicted.”

“Your appearance will only serve as a confirmation if indeed such a report exists,” you say.

“If?” She spits out bitterly. “Are you meaning to pretend to not know of it? Were you not the one who started such a malicious lie to bring down the reputation of my dear nephew?”

“I have never heard of it!” You defend yourself.

“So my nephew has not made you an offer of marriage?”

You raise your head high. “You are the one who has declared such a thing to be impossible.”

You can practically see her shake with rage. “Mr. Lee has been engaged to my daughter since their infancy. Now what have you to say?”

“If that is the case, then there is no reason Mr. Lee would make an offer to me.”

“You listen to me, you selfish girl — if you think a woman of inferior birth with a scandalous sister who married the first suitor she came across can come in and tarnish Mr. Lee’s reputation, I will surely prove you wrong. Now tell me the truth, are you engaged to him?”

You contain yourself. “I am not.”

“And do you promise to never enter such an engagement?”

You put your foot down. You refuse to allow this woman to come into your home, insult you, and forbid you from marrying the man you know you yearn for.

“I shall never promise such a thing. You have traveled here in the dead of night to offend me in every possible way and I will tolerate it no longer. I must ask you to leave.”

You swing open the door, exposing your entire family on the opposite side of it, who were likely listening in on your ordeal. Lady Park gives you one last glance, and if looks could kill, you would be six feet underground.

“I have never been so disrespected in my entire life!” Lady Park declares before taking her leave, shutting the front door with great force.

“My dear, what is going on?”

“Why does she think something is happening between you and Mr. Lee?”

“Did Mr. Lee propose to you?”

You flee from your family’s questioning, running up the stairs with tears in your eyes.

“For once in your life, leave me alone!”

—

It is the break of dawn when you decide to take a walk.

You could not sleep all night. Jimin slipped into your bed at one point and comforted you wordlessly, wrapping her arms around you. You thought about Jeno and Lady Park’s scornful words. If you had a little less dignity, you would have told her how her nephew proposed to you but in all your stupidity, you denied him. She would probably get a laugh out of that.

You stare down at your feet, kicking around the patches of weeds childishly. Your breath hitches when another pair of shoes land before you.

You raise your head to see Lee Jeno standing there in all of his glory.

You say the first thing that comes to mind.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Nor I.”

You nod, pulling your jacket tighter around your shoulders. “Your aunt was here-“

“I should make amends for such insolent behavior.”

You shake your head. “After everything you have done to save Minji and I suspect to help Jimin, I should be the one apologizing for my behavior.”

“I told you that you never have to apologize to me, didn’t I? You must know I did all of it for you.” He says, smiling. You wonder if you could ever be this infatuated with another human being. “I came here because I beg you not to trifle with me. My aunt’s visit has provided me hope — a feeling I thought had disappeared months ago. I plead with you to tell me if your affections have changed.”

He takes a step closer to you. His eyes melt with a familiar fondness.

“If they have changed, I must tell you that you have bewitched me, body and soul. I love you, and I wish to never be parted from you from this day forth.”

You can no longer hold back your grin. You close the distance, gently tugging on the lapels of his dreary trench coat. You press your lips to his and his control officially snaps, one hand wrapping around your middle and tugging you closer. He kisses you with fervor, as if it is the last thing on earth he will ever get to do.

You giggle and pull back to catch your breath.

“Tell me, please,” he whispers with desperation. “I can bear it no longer.”

“I love you,” you say, stroking your fingers through his hair. “I love, love, love you.”

He kisses you again, hand traveling to the back of your neck and pulling you as close as humanly possible. He kisses you like he is afraid that you will slip out of his grasp. Warmth pools at the bottom of your stomach at his obvious desire.

“W-We should speak to my father,” you pant against his mouth.

“Yes, yes,” he agrees, catching his own breath. “A spring wedding? Or we could get married now, I have no objection-“

You giggle. “Mr. Lee, don’t get too ahead of yourself.”

“I cannot help it. I have waited too long for you to be in my embrace.”

“Then we shall not wait a second longer.”

—

You marry Lee Jeno on a beautiful day in spring.

The ceremony is simple at your request, and your mother cries when you walk down the aisle. Yujin sobs when she sees you in a veil, joyful that you have finally found your happy ending.

Your father was initially confused when you came to his office hand in hand with your betrothed until you explained to him the true nature of your feelings and all of the actions Jeno had taken to save your family. Jimin and Minjeong demanded to know all of the details you kept from them, and Minji even traveled into town to also hear your side of events.

Jeno has the wedding planned faster than you can blink, stressing that he cannot endure another day without you as his wife.

You have awoken something primal in him, and it shows on your wedding night.

He nearly breaks open the bedroom door as he pushes you in, shutting it loudly and practically throwing you on the bed. You laugh when he hovers over you, pressing kisses down your neck.

“Jeno, Jeno,” you hum, smiling as he tugs your wedding dress up. “Slow down, my love.”

“I want to taste you,” he groans against your collarbone.

His deep voice sends a shiver down your spine. You have only heard stories about what happens between a husband and his wife in their bedroom. They were usually filled with salacious recountings from many of the schoolgirls around you growing up. You honestly have no idea what you’re in for tonight, but all you know is that you would let Jeno take you at his heart’s desire.

“Too many buttons,” he grumbles against your chest, and you gasp when he rips your dress clean down the middle.

“Jeno!” You begin to scold but it turns into a moan when his lips latch onto your left breast, tongue flicking at your nipple lewdly.

“You’re mine, are you not? My wife, my forever,” he mumbles, kissing down your stomach until he is face to face with your core.

You tense at the sight of him being so close to an intimate part of your body. He senses your nerves, looking up at you and interlacing his hands with yours.

“It is quite alright, Mrs. Lee,” he smirks at your new surname. “You can trust me.”

You take a deep breath and relax. “I trust you.”

The first swipe of his tongue against your core takes your breath away. Your spine arches at the exhilarating feeling. He moves your hand until it is resting on his hair, urging you to pull at the strands as you please.

He laps at your folds eagerly, lips mouthing over you passionately. You cry when he suddenly takes your clit in his mouth and sucks hard.

He unlocks a new type of pleasure you never believed was possible — tremors running down your body as you chase the high. You fail to realize your hips are moving on their own accord, twisting and riding his face.

When the pleasure begins to subside, Jeno pulls away and lets you catch your breath.

“What was that?” You wheeze.

He chuckles, hoisting himself up to kiss you. He trails kisses across your cheek.

“Did it feel good, my pearl?”

“I-I need to feel that again.”

His laughter is like music to your ears. He nuzzles his face into your neck.

“Would you like me to show you how much better I can make you feel?”

You nod and he raises his head to see you. “I love you,” he murmurs, leaning forward to kiss you again.

Since the day you confessed your feelings, he hasn’t failed to remind you of his love nearly every hour of every day.

“When this is over, will I bear your child?” You ask, genuinely curious about the answer.

He strokes your hair gently. “Is that something you want?”

You laugh and bob your head. “Of course. We simply cannot live in this grand house by ourselves. I fear I will go hysterical.”

“Then we will have as many children as you like, Mrs. Lee.”

He begins to undress and you eye him as respectfully as you can. You wish you had known Jeno was hiding his muscular glory underneath those boring trench coats. You likely would not have rejected him the first time if you were made aware.

“Please resist drooling.”

You narrow your eyes playfully. “You’re my husband. I may drool as I please.”

He grins and throws his coat and shirt to the side, slowly unbuttoning his pants. Your mouth waters when he finally takes off his undergarments.

His cock is beautiful, if you’re even allowed to say that. Pretty and pink and long. A bit of liquid leaks from the tip and you suddenly get a craving to taste it.

“We have all the time for you to do that later. I want to show you a good time now,” he says as if he can read your mind.

You smile and pull him close, pressing your lips together. You watch as he gives his cock a few tugs before lining it up to your entrance.

“This may hurt at first, but I promise it will feel satisfactory if you loosen your body,” he says, ensuring that you are listening carefully.

You nod, happy twinkle never disappearing from your eyes.

“I trust you.”

The first thrust is painful. You exhale, focusing on not tensing up your body too much as Jeno instructed. He soothes you, fingers running up and down your sides lightly.

“You are so perfect for me,” he hums. “I should have married you sooner.”

When he’s finally all the way inside, you take a deep breath. He rests his forehead on yours.

“Good?”

You stroke his cheek fondly. “Good, my love.”

He rolls his hips into yours and you groan. He picks up a steady beat until the furrow in your brow vanishes. A wave of pleasure shoots up your spine and you gasp, triggering Jeno to pick up his pace.

He grips the headboard tightly between his fingers, planting his knees on the mattress before driving into you.

“O-Oh!” You moan, not anticipating how intoxicating this would feel.

You raise your hips and subconsciously move to meet his thrusts. He groans at your effort, slowly losing it at how tight you feel around him.

“Here,” he says, moving one hand downwards to pinch your clit and roll it between his fingers.

“Ungh,” you wail, throwing your head back. “That’s so good, Jeno. Keep going.”

Vulgar sounds fill the bedroom with skin slapping skin and your moans mixed with his grunts. You probably look maniacal with the way you’re desperately chasing your high, but you have no care in the world right now.

Your mind is merely screaming Jeno’s name.

He collapses back on you, kissing you with an intensity you could not describe. You swear you see stars explode behind your eyes.

“May I try something?” He pants into your mouth.

You agree and he withdraws himself from you, nearly causing you to whimper at the loss. He grabs your hips and twists you around, taking off the scraps of your dress and flinging it to the floor. His hand pushes down your head and arches your back. You turn your head to the side and moan.

“Please, Jeno, please-“

He eases himself back inside, answering your pleas.

He breathes heavily, squeezing his eyes shut. “You are torturing me beyond no end.”

This position hits a different spot inside of you. You mewl, clawing at the sheets. You have never felt closer to Jeno until this moment with the way his cock fits so perfectly inside of you.

He leans down to press kisses to your shoulders.

“May I use you as I wish?”

The question almost has you whining.

“Whatever you like, my love. Please, use me for your pleasure.”

He drills into you, forcing his cock into your dripping hole until you weep for him. You bury your face into his pillow, preventing your screams from growing too loud when you ultimately fall into your second climax. It hits a lot harder than the first, especially since Jeno shows no signs of stopping.

You cry when he changes positions again, falling to his side and moving you to do the same, hiking up your leg until it’s wrapped around his hip. He angles himself so that he hits you deeper.

You wonder if you look like a woman vexed, completely overtaken by lust. He pounds into you to coax your third orgasm to come to bay.

You beg for him, unsure of what you’re pleading for.

“Please, please, please-“

His hand strikes at your clit, slapping it with an unexpected force. You dive headfirst into your peak, crying and whimpering until your throat is sore.

Your body tries to squirm away from Jeno’s sharp thrusts but he doesn’t let you, holding you down and turning you so that your stomach presses against the mattress again.

His cock beats into your soaking cunt before he reaches his own high, groaning loudly as he spills his seed deep into you. It is only then that he finally slows down, collapsing onto the bed and pulling you into his arms.

You both pant, trying to catch your breath as his cum leaks down your thighs.

“So we can do that all the time now?” You huff.

He laughs and kisses your forehead.

“Whenever you would like, Mrs. Lee.”

okay so this is by far my fave jeno angsty smut fic because of the ending haha

i know you | ljn

plug!jeno x fem!reader — fwb to lovers

summary: jeno doesn't think he's ever felt this restless in his life. maybe he's been smoking a bad batch of flower, or maybe it's the fact that you haven't knocked on his door in over a month.

wc: 4.7k 18+ mdni

cw: dom!jeno, angst, smut, fluff yay, little weed/alcohol use, protected pinv sex, fingering, oral (receiving), heavy jealousy, emotional sex?, cursing, toxic-ish relationship/cycles, arguments, mean-ish jeno but also clumsy with feelings jeno, pet names: baby, my girl

you’re late.

saturday night has come once again, and jeno sits in his room, inhaling and exhaling the smoke until the air around him is heavy. he passes the time as he usually does, expecting a knock at his door any second now.

he doesn’t realize that your presence hasn’t made him just expect you—he actively waits for you, even if he doesn’t admit it.

but as the hours go on and no knock comes, he feels unsettled. perhaps he’s just annoyed that he might be going to sleep tonight without releasing the week’s pent up tension, but he knows deep down that’s not it.

where are you?

there hasn’t been a saturday in months without you, and he pulls out his phone subconsciously, scrolling through his contacts. only now does he realize that he doesn’t even have your number, not that he would be entirely willing to put aside his pride to contact you.

you’ve started to spend more time together, now even staying over at his suggestion. your weekly routine has spoiled him — why need your number when there’s a day, or night, of your week that belongs just to him?

you’ll be here, you always are.

but when he’s made his way through every joint he rolled for the night, including the two he packed for you, time on his phone reading well past 1 in the morning, he’s still. and when this continues on the next week, the week after, and it’s reached a month and a half since he’s seen you, he becomes restless.

jeno knows that the function his roommates throw every weekend is still in full blast downstairs, arguably just getting started. he’s never in attendance; he hates the crowds, the heat, the noise. but for once in his time living there, he debates leaving the comfort of his room tucked in the furthest corner of the house.

he shakes his head at the thought. why would you be here if not for him? he knows you’re not into these kinds of things. well, he thinks he knows. the first time you came you were dragged in by your roommate, one of his regular customers, and the rest goes from there.

that’s right, your roommate. you might not be the biggest party animal, but your roommate was who got you there in the first place. and she never resists bumming some weed.

he grabs an old pack of pre-rolls that he threw in a drawer a while ago. maybe he can at least get your number. he has no solid plan for how he’ll ask about you, but still continues on as if he’s possessed.

he knows this is way out of character for him, putting on a hoodie before walking out into the hallway and closing his door behind him. maybe it’s the weed coursing through his veins pushing him to do so, despite it being the same weed he smokes every day. who knows?

he comes down the stairs, passing by some randoms perched up in deep conversation over the loud music. it’s exactly like he thought it would be—hot, loud, and quite literally the last place he would want to be. nonetheless, he scans the crowd. before he can find any sign of your roommate, his find him first.

“jeno!” a clearly inebriated hyuck clings onto him, eyes wide as if he’s experiencing an alcohol-induced hallucination. “there’s no fucking way you came out of your little smoke hole for once,” he slurs out, alcohol on his breath.

“shut the fuck up,” jeno mumbles lowly, prying him off as another roommate approaches to help.

“dude, i really did not think i’d ever see you down here, though.” mark holds hyuck away from jeno, the drunk man scurrying away at the mention of another shot waiting for him in the kitchen.

“had to do something.” jeno keeps it short, not wanting to deal with anyone but someone who will get him to you. mark knows his roommate enough not to pry, and with a tired smile nods in understanding.

“got it, well if you need anything i—” jeno doesn’t hear the rest of mark’s sentence, eyes zeroing in on a scene over his roommate’s shoulder. there stood your roommate, laughing her ass off, but more importantly, there was you.

his surprise quickly turns into ire as he realizes you have additional company. male company standing behind you, arms draped around your waist as you both sway to the bumping music along with your roommate in front of you.

he sees red.

poor mark doesn’t know what’s gotten into his roommate as he pushes right past him, steps heavy and enraged.

you hadn’t expected any of it.

the last time few times you saw jeno, something shifted.

he was still quiet and spoke more with his actions than words, but these same actions had made you start to expect more. there was tenderness, yet it felt heartless. so sweet, yet at the same time so bitter.

there was this line you couldn’t cross—one he didn’t seem to want to cross either. yet you felt like you had done enough, given enough, and if he wanted to, he would.

so you stopped coming.

tonight was different, however. your close friend, shotaro, is visiting from out of town and your roommate had the bright idea of introducing him to the beloved parties hosted at this house, so she ended up dragging you there just like all those months ago. you didn’t have it in you to make excuses or flake on your longtime friend for a man.

your friends know nothing about the arrangement you have with jeno, and you have no intention of telling them. realistically, when making the plans you felt there was a good chance he wouldn’t even be bothered.

even if your consistency felt like an unspoken agreement, you didn’t know if it was just you who had that expectation. after all, he didn’t come looking for you all this time.

it’s another saturday without sex, and who knows if he would just go find it somewhere else. the thought stings, but you know he would be fine. you would be, too— at least you hope so.

you hold back a sigh as your drunk friend clings on to you, resting his chin on your shoulder and talking animatedly with your roommate. you lean back subconsciously, a few shots deep yourself.

while you had no intention of telling them about jeno, he had other ideas it seems. a strong hand grabs your arm with a tight grip, and you yelp and look up at your captor, eyes widening in surprise at who it is.

you were so sure he wouldn’t come down, even if it was his house. he hates these things.

“jeno?” you question, but the man doesn’t answer, burning holes into the friend behind you whose hands still ghost around your waist. jeno glares harshly as he makes eye contact, but shotaro pulls you back, protective instincts activated at the unknown man.

“who the fuck are you?” your friend spits out, meeting the man’s glare with as cold of a look as he can muster. you turn in his arms to try and explain.

jeno’s not having any of it—he should be the one asking that. his glance falls to your friend’s hands firmly gripping your waist—he should be the one in that position. the anger bubbling at his throat is spilling out and it’s taking everything in him to not start something he knows he’d regret.

he starts to hear some attention directed at your group, half buzzing about a potential fight and half in shock that jeno’s even down here, only a few of his regulars even knowing who he is. he hates it all— the looks, the whispers, the thought of himself in their heads.

yet he hates seeing you in someone else’s arms even more.

you manage to get out a “don’t worry about it,” before he yanks you out of your friend’s grasp, not even sparing him nor your roommate a second look. you look back at them apologetically as he leads you up the stairs, steps rushed and grip bruising.

the route flying past you is familiar as always, up the stairs, down the hall, last door on the right. jeno’s silent as he shuts the door behind you as usual, but you know it’s not the usual silence.

you study him carefully, noting his usually sharp features pulled into an even stonier expression. you can feel your heart pounding in your chest at his erratic behavior, yet you can’t deny a twinge of excitement running through you.

keeping your expectations low is a coping mechanism and you know it, but if you’re being completely honest, deep, deep down you had hoped this would happen.

though you’d like to have zero expectations for this obscure relationship as a means of protecting your heart, you’ve always hoped that jeno would prove that he cares about you more than you think.

through the cold exterior, moments of almost-affection had kept the hope alive, yet that same hope was always dashed when no further action would come from him.

you don’t know if what you had of him could satisfy you anymore. you want more, or nothing at all, and it’s looking like this night may bring the outcome of that choice.

you thought you were dreaming when he appeared in front of you, the idea of even getting a glimpse of him outside of his stuffy room something straight from your imagination.

coming to this house for the first time in a while, you convinced yourself tonight would be different. it is—just in a way you didn’t expect.

while you’re a bit sorry to your friends, it feels like a win. you always do what he wants, but who knew how exhilarating it would feel for him to be doing what you want for once, even if he didn’t know he was.

“who the fuck was that?” once in his room, his low voice growls in a way you’ve never heard him before. though he’s still seemingly as collected as ever, the irritation radiates off of him as he corners you roughly against his bedroom door.

“a friend,” you answer, doing your best to keep a strong face.

“a friend, huh?” his hands slide down to your waist, gripping tightly as if trying to replace the feeling of another with himself. “do you do this with all your friends?” he questions.

“it wasn’t anything crazy, jeno,” you defend, and in your eyes, it wasn’t. especially if there’s still this line between you two.

“i assume this friend is who you’ve been wasting your time with,” he mutters, and his angry tone actually starts to flare up some anger of your own. why can’t he just be honest and ask you where you’ve been? you push further.

“and what about it? it’s not a waste of my time, it’s my choice on how— or who i spend time with,” you can’t stop the pointed words from pouring out, and he just takes it with a darkening expression.

“why are you so angry about it? what’s it even to you? it’s not like you know anything about me outside of this room,” you bite. “you don’t know me.”

you don’t think you’ve ever talked to jeno this way in the time you’ve known him. you know what you’re saying isn’t 100% true.

you know you’ve gotten to know each other more in the time you started seeing him. you know you’ve held onto everything he’s revealed about himself, but who’s to say that he’s done the same? he doesn’t know you.

he responds with silence, and for a second you feel as though you’ve pushed a bit too far.

“you’re right,” he mutters.

that response was the last thing you could have predicted.

“i don’t know you.“ his hold tightens further, and you can already feel that it’ll leave marks. his dark eyes are focused straight on yours, and more than anger, there’s an emotion you don’t know you recognize in him. “but i know there’s no one in this fucking world who could make you feel better than me.”

a bold streak runs through your veins, and his face comes closer, lips hovering over yours as if waiting for a response. you barely breathe one out.

“prove it.”

his lips slam into yours immediately, kisses bruising and desperate. his tongue intertwines with yours, leaving no part of your mouth untouched as it feels like he tries to devour you whole. his hands move to the back of your ass, gripping as you gasp into his mouth.

you feel him smirk against your lips as he lifts one of your legs to wrap around him, grinding his raging member into you repeatedly, thudding noises against the door resonating in the room. your mind briefly jumps to the same noise being heard in the hallway, but the thought disappears as quickly as it comes.

his lips fall to your neck, nipping and undoubtedly painting the skin with his marks. “could just slip it in right now, baby, i know you’re fucking dripping down there,” he breathes against your neck, and you feel yourself clench around nothing.

“let me see,” he says under his breath, leaving you with one last kiss as pulls off your dress, leaving you in just your underwear. he leaves marks trailing down to you soaking heat, keeping your legs spread with a firm grip.

his fingers trail up and down your slit, gathering the wetness and he slides your underwear to the side. the direct contact has you gasping and holding onto his shoulders as your knees buckle. his fingers leave your slit, and you feel his hands hook onto the back of your underwear.

a tearing noise accompanied by a brush of cold alert your senses, and you see jeno tossing your torn underwear to the side. “jeno!” you gasp.

“i’ll deal with it later,” he assures gruffly, his thumbs going to spread your lips apart, spreading your juices around as his eyes focus in. blood rushes to your head at the sight of him looking so intently at your cunt, as if it’s his next meal.

“that little boy toy of yours ever make you this wet?” he asks, holding you flush against the door as one of his thumbs dip into your entrance.

“h-huh?” you stutter, mind lost as you already start to feel fucked out just from his fingers and the sight of him on his knees for you.

“your friend from earlier, putting his hands all over my girl.” his other thumb brushes over your clit, circling as your mind tries to come up with a response. “answer me or i’ll stop,” he threatens with a press to your clit.

“no! no one does,” you gasp out, but jeno is not entirely satisfied with that answer.

“no one but who?” he digs his thumb harder.

“you! you, jeno..” you moan, hips thrusting forward seeking more friction.

“good answer, baby.” with that, you find yourself on your back, thrown onto his soft mattress. you look up to see jeno tugging his hoodie and shirt off, tossing them carelessly to the side before wrapping his strong arms around your thighs.

immediately he latches his mouth onto your sopping cunt, burying his tongue into your dripping hole and nose rubbing fiercely against your clit. he mouths at you like he’s starved, hands keeping your legs steady.

it’s all so much, and your hands move to grip his hair, unable to contain your hips as they move against his mouth desperately.

“oh, fuck, jeno! f-fuck,” you moan out, only being able to exclaim curses and his name. your cries only serve to keep him going even harder, the slurping sounds his mouth make on you filling the room alongside your cries.

as much as you’re loving this, and you’re already starting to lose yourself to this pleasure, you want nothing more but for him to fuck you senseless. the time apart has been a dry spell for you, too, and all self control you had for him disappeared the second your lips met.

“jeno, p-please. i need you to—” he shuts you up with two fingers snaking their way into your entrance, his lips shifting up to your clit, enveloping the bud before sucking harshly.

you gasp out at the pressure, your eyes fluttering shut as your leg released from his grip tightens around his head. he simply elbows it back to the side, other hand tightening around your other thigh as his mouth and fingers speed up.

you know you aren’t gonna last long. you force your eyes open, moving them from the ceiling back down to the man between your legs.

his tongue starts to flick back and forth, and when he opens his dark eyes to meet yours, you feel dizzy. with a curl of his fingers, you come undone, shrieking as he continues his ministrations to help you ride out your high.

he comes to a halt and you try to catch your breath, your grip on his hair releasing as he sits up. he seems to be admiring you for a second, all fucked out for him, back in his bed like you’ve always been.

except you haven’t been in over a month, and the thought sends jeno’s mind into a flurry again, wanting nothing more than to cool the burning sensation he feels in his chest at the thought of you with someone else. to remind you that making your body feel good is what he knows best.

he leans back down between your legs, about to wrap his arms around your thighs again when you stop him.

“j-jeno. please..” you needed him inside you forever ago, and you needed to let him know before he had you dazed on his tongue again. “no more, please.. need you inside.”

he sits back up again. you think he’ll say something, but he simply nods, pulling down his sweats as his member springs free from its confines. he grabs a condom, tearing the wrapper open before lowering it onto his member with a hiss.

the image before you is delicious. he’s still the most beautiful man you’ve ever met, and that along with everything you’ve been feeling about him stirs up your chest. if it wasn’t him, then who would it be?

you can’t stay in your thoughts for too long as he resumes his position between your legs. you’re already dripping for him, and with only a few low grunts he guides his member into your waiting entrance.

the stretch is just as good as it always is, and in no time he’s completely bottomed out. he’s still said nothing, dirty talk from earlier now completely absent. he’s not moving yet, just letting your walls adjust as you pulse around him.

as his hips start to move, his mouth does as well, finally breaking the silence.

“you think i don’t know you?” he asks. his voice is gruff, but the malice laced in his voice has been replaced with something softer. you can’t quite put your finger on what it is.

his hips move at a slow pace still, a stark contrast to all the other times you’ve fucked, where his hips piston into you relentlessly from the get-go.

“do you?” you ask quietly, the bite from your voice earlier also gone, and something flickers in those dark eyes of his.

his hips pick up just a bit. “i know you.”

he speeds up even more. “i fucking know you.”

your hands fist the pillow under you as his hips slap against you. “i know how sweet you are.” he moves to pull one of your hands from its place as he intertwines it with his own. "my sweet fucking girl," he mumbles, pressing you further into the bed. “but you should only be sweet for me," he bites out through grit teeth.

his hips pick up the pace with his words, pistoning into you now at the speed you know him best, slapping sounds of skin on skin now filling the room alongside your moans and the groans that leave his throat.

“i know you’re mine,” he asserts roughly, his voice quiet yet firm. his words strike a chord in you, and you clench around him at his claim over you, hoping to the universe that he actually means it. “s-shit,” he gasps out at the tightening around his cock.

his chest tightens, and his resolve crumbles by the second. he utters a quiet “say it, baby,” as his other hand moves now to grab yours, intertwining them as well. it feels like he’s enveloping your whole being with his.

you turn your head to the side, closing your eyes as you continue to cry out at the feeling of him gliding along your walls, hitting your deepest parts.

“f-fuck. ing. say. it. baby,” his words are punctuated with harsh thrusts, but come out almost like a plea. you’ve never heard him like this before. your eyes flit back up to really try and get a good look at him.

you now know the emotion in him you couldn’t recognize. all the anger and hate was replaced with pain.

“say you’re mine..” he heaves one more time, breathing hard. you’ve never seen him like this before.

he’s in pain over you.

just one last push.

“jeno… you say it,” you muster up as best as you can with your brain starting to fog from the combination of physical and mental stimulation. “say you’re m-mine, jeno,” you gasp out, keeping your eyes trained on his.

his hips falter just a bit, clearly not expecting that response, but he picks up the pace again. chewing hard on his bottom lip, he stays silent, and you could laugh. it seems he’s stubborn to the very end.

but like earlier, he doesn’t react the way you think he will. he doesn’t prove your low expectations to be true.

he leans down, kissing you softly at first, moving his hands from yours to hold you, one around your hips and the other cradling the back of your head. his lips envelop yours deeper, and with shaky hands you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, lost in the warmth of his skin against yours.

you want this intimacy to last forever. in this moment, he truly feels like he’s yours, and it feels too good to be true. his lips disconnect from yours, moving down to kiss along the side of your head, down to your ear. his warm breath tells you it’s not a dream.

“i’m yours, baby. i’m yours,” he whispers fervently, over and over again, almost as if it’s his own way of apologizing. your nose stings as your eyes well with tears, and your stomach does flips as you feel yourself nearing your peak.

all those nights filled with uncertainties on if he’d ever let you into his life, let alone his room, all those moments of disappointment when your efforts towards being something more felt shut down, all those excuses you made for yourself and for him to keep the cycle going—all of it feels worth it for this moment.

his hips move harshly as he continues his rambling into your ears, holding you as tightly as he can. you can feel yourself reaching your peak once more.

“i’m yours, jeno,” you finally get out alongside your moans, and his head shoots up. he meets your teary eyes, leaning down to give you one last deep, tender kiss as the band in your stomach finally snaps, cumming with a loud cry.

your mouths are unable to separate even as his hips stutter against yours. he groans into your mouth as he cums, filling the rubber and riding both your orgasms out before coming to a stop. you continue locking lips until both of you are out of breath.

you both catch your breath, and as you look up into jeno’s eyes, once dark and cold, filled with anger and pain, you can’t stop the tears from flowing once again.

maybe you’ve had a glimpse of this in your time together, but now you can see for certain that his eyes are full of untamed warmth and affection. your devotion was never in vain.

jeno gets up, separating from you reluctantly. the room is silent once again, but it’s not the suffocating silence you’d felt from him before.

he cleans himself up before pulling a fresh towel from his closet to clean you, helping your spent form into a t-shirt of his. he grabs a water bottle from his mini fridge, handing it to you and urging you to drink. once you’re all settled, he turns off the dim lamp he’d had on.

he climbs into his bed with you, wrapping the both of you in his comforter as you lie on his arm.

“where were you?” he asks carefully, perhaps a little unsure on how to initiate the conversation after what was basically your confessions. “were you really with him?” you’d have to thank taro for this later.

“no,” you respond, and his shoulders seem to relax a bit, his hand rubbing up and down your hip mindlessly. “i just thought we needed distance.” his hand stops at that.

“we don’t,” he refutes bluntly. “don't do that, come see me,” he continues. you chuckle a bit at how honest he’s being. he needs you just as much as you need him, and he’s finally showing and saying it.

“and not just on saturdays..” you raise your eyebrows at this, butterflies erupting in your stomach at where this whole conversation is going. “or, uh- i’ll come see you.”

you’re silent for a second, letting yourself relish in the feeling of your heart swelling with emotion. this is a scene straight out of your dreams, but he continues to prove that you’re wide awake. jeno doesn’t take your silence well, nervous as he awaits your answer. he continues.

“’s that okay?” he asks, trying to make out your expression in the moonlight. you take a second to take in his features illuminated by that same light.

“yeah, i’d love that,” you finally respond. snuggling into him, you feel sleep start to overtake you as you lie in his warm arms, but it seems he’s not done with the conversation yet.

“so, well..” he starts. his body starts to warm up, and he buries his face into the top of your head, holding you close.

“what’s your favorite restaurant?”

you’re shocked for a second before letting out a hearty laugh into his chest. he squeezes you tighter in a scolding way, but urges you to answer. you respond with your favorite and another question of your own, and he answers in turn.

you don’t think he knows you entirely, and the same is true for you, but you do know for certain it won’t stay that way for long.

a/n: same universe as stuffy, just actual closure to the fwb storyline? idk but jeno's been doing smth to me.... like his summer sonic looks... yeah..... this one's more for me to get back into the groove of writing, but i'm a sucker for a fwb to lovers story </3 anyways tysm for reading, trying to work on my johnny fic in the meantime but it is just nawwwt turning out how i want it to. maybe will write more plug!jeno or a different stoner!jeno au, but enjoy for now!! ty as always to my bb @wispyxjae for beta reading <3

shares and feedback always appreciated !!! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

-coco! ♡

and again. » ljn

genre | angst with fluffy ending, jeno x reader, college au

word count | 2.7k

summary | you hadn’t seen jeno since you had broken up, but a new year’s party brings you back together again, physically and emotionally

warnings | argument, small mention of past relationship issues and insecurity, light swearing, teeniest alcohol mention, flashback where jeno is a dick to reader, one female pet name (pretty girl) but i think its pretty gn aside from that

tonight marks roughly one year.

it’s been an entire twelve months since the big fight that had ultimately caused the downfall of one of the most fawned over relationships on campus. in one year, you’d surprisingly- impressively, even- managed to avoid talking to him or seeing him in person at all.

which really, was your biggest motive for desperately wanting to skip out on the party tonight. you knew jeno would be there, despite the numerous attempts by all of your friends of trying to convince you otherwise. but you knew that you couldn’t bail on everyone who hadn’t seen you since you arrived back from visiting home. not to mention, everyone was going to be there. it’s new years eve, and no one misses the new years party. so you just had to swallow your pride and attend.

the fact that it was the very same party that drove you apart the year prior, however, is another major reason you’d rather just stay home.

even as you sat in your best friend’s car, you weighed your options.

“do we really have to go?”

“are you really asking me that when we’re already half way there?” ningning asks, but its less of a question and more of a statement. “i can drop you off on the street if you really want me to,” she jabs.

you groan, your head falling against the headrest and your hands sliding down your face.

“who’s to say he’s even gonna be there anyway?” karina asks from the backseat.

“stop giving me hope, everyone is going to be there.” you sulk, crossing your arms and sinking down in the passenger seat.

“then what are the chances you'll even run into him? more people more distractions, right?” giselle consoles. she had a valid point, but even the slimmest chance made you want to rip your hair out.

ningning parallel parks her car on the side of the residential road, and the house party practically lights up the entire night sky. your girlfriends chatter excitedly as their heels clack on the sidewalk, all the while you’re hoping, praying that karina and giselle are right.

but as fate would have it, not even three footsteps in the door, you spot him. and unfortunately, your presence doesn’t go unnoticed either.

jeno is stood by the fireplace, deep in conversation, but sees you almost immediately upon your arrival, like the universe was on a timer, counting down to the exact second that your eyes would meet again, not a moment too soon or too late. his lips are parted like he stopped mid sentence, and you stand dumbfounded in the doorway, staring stupidly at him as people shove past you to enter.

renjun taps jeno’s shoulder from beside him, most likely trying to bring his attention back, but jeno’s eyes never leave yours, and you see him mouth your name in response to his confused friend, making your heart flip. renjun follows his eyes, adding to the unwanted attention that’s been placed on you. jeno then suddenly takes a few steps toward you, squeezing through the dense crowd, but before you think it through, you scurry off in the other direction.

“y/n, will you stop pouting about it already?”

you enter your apartment with jeno trailing behind you, your mood extremely sour as you open the door and let it slam against the wall.

“i’m not pouting, jeno. i’m upset, do you not get that?”

“you’re so dramatic,” jeno scoffs. he kicks off his shoes and drops his jacket over the back of your couch, so nonchalant about the whole situation that it makes you even angrier.

“she was all over you!” you cry out in desperation. you’ve repeated this what seemed like a hundred times already, but no matter what you said jeno wouldn’t even attempt to understand.

or maybe, he just didn't care.

“you couldn't even bother to just tell her to stop!”

jeno rolls his eyes. “i told you, y/n, i did tell her to stop. she wouldn’t listen.”

“then that's when you walk away, jeno. push her off of you, ignore her, anything! actions speak louder than words.” your arms flail wildly as you speak. “why do i even have to explain something like this to you? i’ve told you about what’s happened to me before and-“

he’s not even looking at you.

“are you listening?! do you even give a shit about how i feel right now?”

“not when you’re acting like this, y/n.” he drones, tapping away at his phone screen. “maybe if you’d just calm down and acted a little less crazy i’d be more inclined.”

all you feel is red. red from the sting of tears muddling your line of vision. red from the prick of your nails digging into your palms as they grip into fists at your sides. red for the old wound he’s just slashed open.

your voice is low and calm when you speak again.

“get the fuck out of here, jeno.”

only then does he decide to look at you.

“babe-” the smallest hint of guilt crosses his eyes, but he’s burned the bridge already. he reaches a hand out toward you, but you step back as if he’s venomous.

“get out!” you screech, not even caring that it rattles the walls. jeno flinches back. with a huff, he grabs his things and stomps out the door, slamming it behind him.

against all odds, everywhere you look, he’s there.

you see him when you’re seated by the tv watching a tipsy group of freshman struggle to get through a round of a dancing game; he’s sitting on the opposite end of the couch, laughing when they stumble.

and again, when you’re outside soaking in the fresh air; he’s got the attention of everyone lounging in the hot tub, telling them stories behind the constellations visible from the deck.

and again, when you’re reaching into the fridge for another drink; he’s pouring shots for swooning girls at the kitchen island.

always suspiciously close, yet just far enough away.

you initially thought it to be just an unfortunate coincidence, but the house was much too big and had too many other places to be. he’s attracting way too much attention to himself in such ways that it’s impossible for him not to be pining for yours in particular.

enough is enough. you decide that if jeno wants a show, you’ll give him a show.

the basement is the one place left in the house where you hadn’t seen him. its a cozy little space, with sports banners and posters of swimsuit clad models cluttering the walls, and along with the pair of couches there's a large pool table. you watch as your friend jaemin stands beside it, twirling his pool cue in his hands, laughing at something haechan had said. you swirl the liquid around in your red solo cup, an idea brewing in your mind.

right on time, you see jeno descend the staircase. you stand, walking over to jaemin.

“help me with something,” you whisper into his ear. he gives you a curious look, but when your eyes flick over to jeno, jaemin understands immediately and gives you a subtle nod.

it’s no secret to you- or to anyone, really- that jeno is watching you. you can feel his eyes on you, burning your skin as you grab the cue from jaemin’s hand and lean over the bright green table to shoot a striped ball into a pocket. jaemin gives you a charming smile, complimenting your technique. his bubblegum hair reminds you of the color jeno’s was before the breakup. it’s never bothered you before, but your heart involuntarily twists at the thought.

you hum, rounding the table to stand right beside your pink haired friend, scanning for the right ball to shoot in next. you lift your cue to point at the number ten ball, turning to jaemin, tilting your head.

“i don’t think i can get this one on my own, do you mind helping me out?” you ask smoothly, dragging your fingers up his arm. your friend picks up quickly, smirking down at your innocently pouty expression.

“sure thing, pretty,” jaemin hums with faux flirtation. he does a flawless job of dragging his hands along all of the parts your body that were jeno’s favorites, and you can almost feel his stare burn hotter. you not-so-subtly bite down a grin as jaemin leans over you, breathing heavily down your neck as he guides the cue through your arms, shooting the ball directly into a pocket.

after watching from the corner for a while, jeno begins to make his way towards you, telling you that he’s had enough of staying arms length away.

“you’re not subtle,” jeno says bluntly. its directed at you, but he’s glaring at jaemin.

you scowl, casually chalking up the tip of the cue you hold. “a bit narcissistic to think this is about you, don’t you think?” you hadn't expected those to be the first words you’d spoken to him in a year.

“do you mind?” jaemin interjects, his hand resting on your hip. “we’re in the middle of something.”

the tension in the room rises.

“well, whenever you’re finished,” jeno spits through his teeth. he shifts his eyes down toward you then, his gaze just a little bit softer. “i’d be really grateful if you’d meet me outside. i wanna talk to you, if you’ll let me.” and with that he’s gone.

after serious contemplation, you do decide meet him outside, despite a very sensible voice in your head telling you not to. as soon as you slide open the glass door and step out onto the grass, he’s leaning against the side of the house, closer to you than he’s been all night- all year. this close up view of him makes your heart flutter more than you’d ever be willing to admit in the moment. his hair is a shade of brown you’ve never seen on him, but his eyes glimmer just the same as they always have when he looks at you.

“long time no see, baby,” he greets you, the corner of his mouth tipped up in a small somber looking smile.

“that’s not my name.”

“it used to be,” he replies. you roll your eyes.

“what do you want, jeno?” it’s harder to say his name out loud than you thought it would be.

“i know you’ve been thinking about it, too,” he says softly, a very sharp contrast from the vibe he’s been presenting to other partygoers the entire night. the bass thumping upstairs is synched with your heartbeat. you still can’t bring yourself to look directly at him. “there’s no other reason you’d pull a stunt like that. jaemin is handsome, sure, but he’s not your type.” you fold your arms, slumping a bit. you hate that he’s right; that you haven’t changed enough during the time that’s passed and he can still read you like an open book.

“doesn’t feel so good, does it?”

jeno swallows, his head bowing forward to fix his eyes on his feet.

“i wanted to say i’m sorry.”

you turn to look at him then, your brows raised. “isn’t it a little late for that?”

“you blocked my number,” he says; you’d almost forgotten you had, in fact, blocked him on just about everything. “i couldn’t get a hold of you in person, either.

but i didn’t know what to say even if i could. there’s no excuse for what i said to you, and an ‘i’m sorry’ doesnt cut it.”

the look jeno is giving you is so genuine that its hard to breathe. all of a sudden your facade begins to crumble. “i can’t- i’m not doing this, not right now,” you tell him dolefully, turning around to slip back into the house, but he catches your elbow; his grip is soft, unthreatening, unmalicious.

“please, please just listen to me, i’m begging you.” when you turn around he’s on his knees, looking up at you with a pleading look on his face and your hand is clasped between both of his own. you despise how he looks so beautiful in the dim moonlight.

“jeno.” you blink your tears away. “don’t beg for me, please.”

he tugs lightly on your wrist, and reluctantly you sink down to kneel in front of him on the grass.

“i haven’t had a full night’s sleep in a year. every time i dream, its about you. believe me y/n i've tried so hard to let it go but the things i said to you still haunt me.”

his eyes flicker across yours, glistening with tears of his own, searching for something he can grab onto. the floodgates holding your emotions in begin to crack at a rate that’s too quick for you to keep up with. “you, you knew how i felt, about things like that,” your voice stutters, your lip quivers. “you knew, and, and you still-“ you choke on a sob.

“i know. y/n i’m so sorry,” he gingerly lifts a hand to your face, pausing for a moment, but when you don’t lean away or swat at him, his thumb brushes your cheek to wipe a tear away that’s just fallen from your lashes, tenderly tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “thinking about how i made you feel that night makes me so disgusted with myself. i never ever wanted to hurt you, but the fact is that i did and i can’t forgive myself for that.”

a moment of quiet passes between you. you wipe at your face with the sleeve of your sweater over and over but your tears don’t stop and the runaway drops fall onto your bare knees.

“do you remember when we won king and queen of prom court in high school?”

his sudden question puzzles you. you look up at him, and you see the real jeno. your jeno, soft and simple and so full of love.

“we went out for ice cream after the dance. it was the first night i told you i loved you.

and again, when we went to your sister's wedding together. you accidentally spilled red wine on my favorite white dress shirt. you were trying so hard not to cry, but i told you it didn’t matter, because i loved you.

and again, when we took your little brother and his friends out to that laser tag place for his birthday. we played one on one, and when you asked me why i let you win, i told you it was because i loved you.

and again, when you broke your wrist falling off the old tire swing in your front yard. you asked me why i came over every night to feed you dinner, even though you didn’t need the help, and i told you it’s because i loved you.”

“what are you doing?” you cut him off before he can continue any further, your voice small and trembling.

“i’m telling you that i still love you.”

he scoots forward on the ground, his body now so close to yours that you can feel his warmth. “i know i don’t deserve it, but all i’m asking for is another chance to love you right, the way you deserve to be loved.” his fingers cling tightly to your hand he still holds as he speaks.

“i don't know where you stand, so you’ve got all the power in your hands right now. stay here with me, and i’ll know we’re on the same page. turn around, and i’ll leave you alone, and you won’t see me again. it’s your choice, and i won’t judge you either way. your word is the final word.”

you feel heavy. his sweet words and the smell of his familiar cologne are intoxicating, but you do know you have the ability to get up and walk away right now if you want to.

but… do you want to?

the painful racing of your heart reminds you that no matter what, no matter how long you’ve been apart, you love jeno. you always have you and always will.

you raise a hesitant arm, placing your shaking hand lightly on his shoulder, and he draws in a breath. your fingers dance upward, contemplating, lips parted slightly with hazy breaths. cupping his jaw, you lean upward, brushing your lips against his in the lightest kiss, testing the waters.

you ignite. suddenly you’re full of such a serene feeling of home, a feeling you hadn’t realized had been absent from your life from the second you pushed him out of it. all the memories you’d tried so hard to keep at bay come rushing back with the image of a soft and smiley jeno; one who’s never had anything but love for you. jeno sees your eyes light up, and he smiles dreamily at you. in an instant, you’ve never been more sure of anything.

you press yourself up against him, pulling him down into your lips, and he wraps you up in his arms. even though the house is filled with the sounds and heat of other people, it’s only you and jeno in the entire world. you pull away when you can’t control your cries anymore, burying your face in his neck instead.

“i’m sorry,” your voice wobbles as you let out the words, but jeno sweetly hushes you, rocking you back and forth in time with the rhythm of the muffled music.

“no apologies from you, pretty girl. none of this is your fault.” you feel the weight of the world lifted from your shoulders. he presses a gentle kiss to your temple, resting his chin on top of your head.

“i love you,” he reassures you. and he does again, and again, and again.

fall from grace » ljn

genre | angel!jeno x human!reader; fluff, slight angst at the very end

word count | 2.3k

summary | your guardian angel has always blurred the line he’s never supposed to cross, and one night he unintentionally takes that leap into territory he’s not meant to be in

a.n | this will most likely have a part two! (pt2 will be much more angsty, and possibly smutty i haven’t decided yet) also if you see something extremely similar to this on ao3 no you don’t (i wrote this as a nomin fic a few years ago and posted it there but dreamscape angel propaganda made me want to revamp it and post it again)

he hadn’t expected to end up here. or, at least that’s what he tried to convince himself. he really wasn’t supposed to be here. none of this was ever supposed to happen.

but, how could he not fall in love with you?

the way that you snort when you laugh a little too hard at something you know isn’t really that funny. the pout that cutely displays on your lips when you give something your full focus. the little noises you make in your sleep when you’re dreaming. the way that you almost always trip on the crack in the sidewalk right outside your apartment building, despite living there long enough to be mindful of it.

jeno thinks about it more and more day by day; not that he even pays mind to the passage of time anymore. there was no way out, he was doomed from the start.

but, instead of the lighthearted feeling that would normally come hand in hand with love, jeno feels a weight. in any other circumstance he’d likely be considered a stalker by the way he knows every little thing about you, but that’s his obligation. jeno’s sole task is to watch over you, to keep you safe, to make you his number one priority above all else.

you aren’t supposed to know. you’re supposed to be blissfully unaware of jeno’s existence and his presence in your life, as well as any others like him.

and jeno was never supposed to fall in love.

lately- and he couldn’t tell if it was on purpose- jeno had become admittedly sloppy with keeping a safe enough space between you and him. he knows it’s no excuse, and he knows the consequences of the risk he’s taking, but the pull is just too strong. his one responsibility is to protect you, but what was the point of that if he couldn’t make you comfortable and happy? if he couldn’t love you in the way only he knows you deserve to be? he’s just fulfilling his duties, right?

how unfair, he thinks. how unfair it is that he’s forced to be so close to you, yet just far enough away that you’ll never even know.

jeno stands on your balcony, three floors up, three hours past midnight.

there’s only a wall separating you from him, and though there is the perk that you can't exactly feel his presence like you might with another human, there stands the possibility of you finding him all the same. he’s more than aware of how dangerous this is for him, to have this little of a distance between you; a relationship between a human and their guardian is never allowed to be physical or emotional in any way. he asks himself how far he is from crossing that line, how close he is from falling off of that tight rope. realistically he already has, but he finds it difficult to care.

ironically, jeno wonders if he’s been cursed or blessed. maybe both, he thinks- blessed with the fact he’s always with the human he loves oh so deeply; cursed with the fact that though he knows just how to make you smile, that smile will never really be for him.

he’s willing, though- more than willing to take that chance, despite the better part of himself advising against it (or that had been the better part of him, long long ago). if he just gets to see your surprised, sleepy little smile early the next morning when you step out to check on your favorite flowers and notice they’ve bloomed way ahead of schedule, then to jeno, its worth it.

as jeno tends to the soft peach colored petals, you sit inside, your legs tucked under you on the kitchen counter, sipping peach flavored tea and watching old cartoons on your computer. you couldn’t sleep, and tossing and turning in bed was finally out of the question after a few too many hours of dreamless silence.

your bare feet make a soft thud on the kitchen tiles when you uncross your legs and leap from the counter, making your way to grab more honey for your tea. the sound makes jeno glance up from the petals sitting between his fingers. this signals to him that you’re now on the move and that he should go, but again, the voice in his head is muted when it comes to you.

jeno takes another bud in his hands and watches as it spreads open right before his eyes at his touch. he rearranges the flowers and stems and pats down the soil as if to make it look a bit more lively, and with this, he decides he should depart before you have the chance to notice he’s here. he turns, preparing to hop the banister, but he bumps the patio table, sending an unused pot of dry dirt falling to the ground. it shatters into large shards of clay that scatter across the wood, and jeno stills.

you almost drop the glass jar at the unexpected calamity, adrenaline shooting through your body like a shockwave. a heavy spoonful of honey is frozen in the air as you hold it above your mug; it drizzles down the side of the ceramic and makes a sticky puddle on your counter. a few moments of painfully eerie silence pass and you try your best to catch your breath.

jeno stoops down to clean the mess he’s made, making certain to be as silent and quick as possible before you arrive to investigate. after your mind has time to form a theory that doesn’t involve something you’d seen in a horror film, you come to the hopeful conclusion that it must have been the wind knocking around your gardening supplies. for your peace of mind, you round the counter to pull open the curtain draped glass doors.

what you see makes you think that maybe you had fallen asleep earlier after all.

jeno looks up, stunned, frigid, crouched down with his hands full of rocks and clay and dirt. he can only imagine how he appears to you in this moment; he must look like he’s just been caught committing a crime- and it likely would be in any other set of means.

millions of worries should be swarming his head, but the only thing on his mind right now is you. your tangled hair, your fluffy pajama pants, your eyes twinkling in the moonlight and looking at him with wonder- not toward him or past him, but directly at him. it was something he’d never had the pleasure of witnessing.

your urge to cry out is suppressed by the peculiar calm feeling that settles over you the moment your eyes lock with jeno’s. even in the shadows the strange boy’s eyes seem to shine, and any thought of ill intent is sent away as quickly as it came. your brain has no time to question the unusual level headedness you feel before you start to connect the dots.

weirdly, you recognize him, but your mind blanks when you try recalling from where. though, you really figured that you’d remember something like this if you’d seen it before. it takes jeno standing, letting the soft starlight paint his nervous face and his shimmering wings for you to be able to connect him to any sort of a tangible memory.

you’d never actually known his name, or from where he came, but you did know of him.

the boy you’d spotted leaving the cafe after the barista had told you that your coffee was already paid for on the morning you were running late for your psychology lecture. the boy you’d seen scanning shelves in the campus library when you saw your favorite novel sat next to your course work upon returning from the counter to ask if they had it in yet. the boy you’d seen walking down the pavement when you’d whipped your tipsy head around after being yanked back by your hoodie just before you stepped into the street, a blaring car horn and a rush of wind whisking your hair up as all you could do was stare at his figure as he strolled away from you.

other instances that you’d had no concrete explanations for began to surface in your mind the longer you studied him. the closed window and extra blanket the night you’d accidentally fallen asleep before a severe thunderstorm. the carton of fresh milk in your fridge you could’ve sworn you’d forgotten to pick up from the market. your favorite white sweater miraculously being completely unharmed after a pink sock snuck its way into the wash.

you knew all of these occurrences and the same boy being present could be purely coincidental, but something about that was just too hard to believe. you always meant to approach him when you saw him in your day to day life, but the courage to make the move and close the distance between you never arose.

‘what an angel,’ you’d always said to yourself when you’d see him. you never would’ve guessed you were right.

when jeno finally snaps out of his trance, remembering the predicament he’s gotten himself into, he turns to really leave before he lands himself in any more trouble. he spreads his huge white wings, the ones that had always been hidden when you were near, and flaps them once to lift himself into the air. a gust of chilled wind flutters your pajamas and pulls the breath from your lungs as you gawk at him.

you try to speak, to tell him not to go, but your voice won’t come out. before jeno can get too far, and before you can think of something less hazardous, you run forward and hoist yourself up on the railing to grab jeno’s ankle in an attempt to stop him from fleeing. at that same moment jeno flaps his wings again, not thinking that the sudden weight on his leg could be you, and as a result you’re pulled from the rail and out into the open, three stories above solid ground.

a strangled yelp jumps from your throat as you dangle in peril. jeno’s head snaps down, and his eyes widen as they meet your figure, clinging to him and flailing wildly. your grip rapidly begins to slip from jeno’s body. your mind races around the realization that this could very well be the end; in an instant you feel the cold night wind rushing up around you, whisking your hair towards the sky, blurring the buildings and skyline together and your breath is caught in your lungs as all you can do is fall.

just as soon as it happened, you collapse into jeno’s open arms with an ‘oomph’ when he catches you before you can meet any harm. you immediately wrap your entire body around him and squeeze your eyes shut, letting out a trembling and fearful cry into his neck. hot tears threaten to spill down your cheeks and the height makes you lightheaded. you’re shivering as jeno lifts you both up to the balcony once again.

it’s bittersweet for jeno to see you this close. you’re so stunningly beautiful, more so than jeno could have ever imagined. your eyes finally open to meet jeno’s when you feel yourself safely sitting on your balcony, curled up under jeno’s kneeling figure. they glisten with tears and your soft face appears to glow in the moonlight. jeno’s heart grows wings of its own to soar through his chest; he may be the angel, but you are angelic.

a very nervous laugh bubbles out of you, your face blooming with a deep red at the sudden realization of your very close proximity to one another, and the embarrassment of the stunt you’d just pulled. one of your arms still drapes around the back of jeno’s neck, the other hand pressed to his chest, revealing jeno’s rapid heartbeat that matches that of yours. jeno’s arms are still wrapped around your waist. he never wants to let go.

“i-mh,” you stutter a bit, and gulp. “i’m sorry,” a sheepish smile pulls at your lips. your voice is much breathier than you’d wanted it to come out.

jeno’s features are sharp, but his expression is soft. tufts of his silvery white hair flit around in the crisp breeze and he looks at you, admires you, his gentle eyes flickering across your face like he’s committing you to memory. his fingers comb gingerly through your windswept hair, pushing it away from your flushed neck and tucking it behind your ear.

his eyes suddenly shift down when your hand meets his jaw, the tips of your fingers ghosting over his cheek. his skin tingles under your timid touch.

you’ve never seen anything like him.

“you’re.. so pretty.”

“thank you,” jeno breathes out through a dazed smile. as you relax a bit, jeno feels your fingers brush delicately against the indents you had made on his shoulders; your grip is softer now, but no less fervent.

“i’m jeno,” he tells you. your eyes meet his again. his heart skips a beat when you cup his face fully, your thumb smoothing over the expanse of his cheek; its warm under your touch.

“thank you, jeno.”

a short beat of time passes, and in a sudden surge of bravery, you lean forward to connect your lips in a kiss. jeno’s heart stops then, his feathers standing and his eyes wide, utterly overwhelmed with the cordial feeling of the one he loves so suddenly embracing him.

jeno decides to throw all caution to the wind. he wastes no time in sliding his hands up your neck to cradle both sides of your jaw, turning his head to let the kiss deepen. his eyes flutter closed and his wings relax, and the sigh he lets out sends hot air onto the peaks of your blushing face, making you melt into his hold. you can’t tell if the warmth that spreads through your body as your lips move in perfect sync is from jeno’s celestial form, but you’ve never felt such a rush from just a single kiss.

but it’s not otherworldly, because jeno feels it, too.

all of a sudden jeno feels the crushing sense of his time running short. he reluctantly pulls away from the kiss; you chase his lips as he leans back.

“i’m sorry, i’m not supposed to be here.”

your fingers grip his shoulders again. a wave of sadness crashes over him when he sees the somber look in your eyes.

“don’t go,” you whimper. jeno’s heart throbs. he would consider it a moment of weakness, only that's all he ever felt when it came to you. he kisses you once more, quick this time, and he feels himself ready to break.

“i’ll come back. i promise.”

with that, he’s gone.

you didn’t end up sleeping that night.

the tea in the mug that hangs loosely in your grip has gone cold by now. you sit in the same spot on your balcony, staring longingly up at the star speckled night sky.

GAME OVER - LEE JENO X READER

GAME OVER

Navi - m.list

Pairing: Lee Jeno x Fem! Reader

Theme: Hint at college au! This is the same paring from my fic ‘Quiet’, fluff, smut, hint of angst? Crack maybe?

Synopsis: When your boyfriend invites you over to his place only to ignore you to play games with his friends all evening, you decide to go out and celebrate a mutual friend’s birthday instead. Jeno never minds when you go out to clubs and bars… only when a specific Loverboy doesn’t tend to leave your side all evening. 

Warnings: Lots of swearing, Probably over use of many variations of ‘fuck’, Big dick! Jeno, Pierced! Jeno, Possessive!Jeno, A hint of angst?, Jealousy, Jaehyun clearly likes you allot regardless of your boyfriend, He’s kind of a subtle dick?, the reader and Jeno are sort of in an argument, Unprotected sex, Exhibitionism ( They fuck in the restrooms and Jaehyun is outside), fluff at the end, Jeno is a smug little shit, marking,  idk what else. 

Word count: 2,698

Note: Hey my lovelies, another Jeno fic! I’m going to attempt to have all the NCT fics I write to be in the same universe. So, when Set Me Free is released it will fall in with this fic too even though it’s Intern!Mark. I know I said that last Jeno smut would be the one and only smut i do but honestly when inspiration strikes - you just gotta. I made the dividers and the header on Canva. Feel free to send asks about my fic characters. The spice is very brief in this one, i apologise - I didn’t want the smut to be too detailed. It's still my longest of the three i've published so far. I feel like my 'writing rust' is curing slowly? I apologise for any grammatical errors

Reblogs and feedback are appreciated! 

“Are you sure the exit is covered, Mark?” Jeno heard through the device in his ear. 

“For the last time, Yes,” Mark grumbled in exasperation, as he scanned the surroundings. 

Jeno could only chuckle, observing from his characters spot on a nearby rooftop. His thumb slowly moved the left analog stick to change the camera angle and look around once more. “Chenle, on your left - there’s Hyuc-” He abruptly called out, voice raising with the excitement.

“What? Fucking whe- Shit!” Jeno had to pull one of his earphones out at the enraged screech that followed, Chenle shouting for Renjun to come and revive him. 

One game soon turned into two, then three, and now four. And it was as if Jeno had forgotten all about you for the moment. You, who was sprawled out on your back, boredly counting each line of profanity you heard your boyfriend boom down his mic. This wasn’t what you had in mind when Jeno asked you to come over after class. You’d hoped that he would opt out of squad night and spend some alone time with you - seeing as you hadn’t really had much time to yourselves since way before the camping trip last month, and whilst you loved his friends like family there was only so much of their company you could take.

You lazily picked your phone up from the floor, responding to a few messages until you hovered over the most recent one. “Coming out tonight? It’s Xiaojun’s birthday.” Your thumbs hesitated in typing out a reply, chin tilting to glance over at your boyfriend, who showed zero signs of stopping his game. As you stood, your knees and ankles groaned in protest from being sprawled out on the fuzzy rug for hours. 

“Jen..” You called out, shoulders slumping when the other didn’t respond. “Jen!” You repeated louder, unable to keep the hint of annoyance from your voice. Jeno jumped, he would never admit it but he almost forgot you were there. He removed an earphone, muting his mic to turn toward you. 

“Yes, Baby?” He hummed, raising a pierced brow. He hadn’t caught on to the clear boredom in your expression, nor the dejected tone to your voice as you spoke again. 

“I’m gonna head out, Ten invited me out for Xiaojun’s birthday.” You explained, Jeno’s eyes creasing at the corners as he smiled at the mention of the two. 

“Make sure Ten don’t go home with Johnny again.” Was all he said, already beginning to turn back to his computer. 

You couldn’t believe that was all he said, he didn’t even offer to go with you nor drop you off. You stood there for a moment, left eye almost twitching in anger at the whole situation. You weren’t a clingy girlfriend, you never demanded to be with Jeno all the time. It was quite the opposite actually, but there were times when he acted like this and it got to you. All you wanted was some one on one time.. 

Deciding to forego the impending argument for tonight, you shuffled closer to him to press a kiss to his forehead so you didn’t disturb his game. “You’re coming back here, right?” he mumbled, not even waiting your answer properly before a harsh “You fuck head, Hyuck!” escaped him. 

With a mumbled ‘sure’, you gathered your bag and left him to it.

Jeno hadn’t even realised how he was acting. He still continued gaming with the guys for at least two or three more hours. He stretched his arms above his head on a groan, clicking his spine as he twisted in his chair. “Mark, pick another game. This one’s getting too easy to beat you at.” He snickered smugly. 

“You seen Hendery’s story, Jen?” The voice sounded almost devious. As if Jaemin was in on a secret nobody else was. 

Instead of answering, his hand swiped up his phone from beside his keyboard and swiftly unlocked it with his thumb. Jeno found Hendery’s profile and tapped on the story. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. It was you, Xiaojun and Jaehyun. The later, Jeno wasn’t particularly a big fan of… okay that was a massive understatement. Quite frankly, Jeno hated the way the man looked at you. He knew Jaehyun had asked you out a few times, before you and Jeno had gone public, and whilst he knew you turned him down everytime… he also was very much aware of how persistent the older man could be. Not that Jeno didn’t trust you, he trusted you with his life but Jaehyun however? No.

Jeno’s gaze drifted over your frame in the picture, his breath drawing in sharply. “Fuck me…” he cursed. The dress you were wearing had him frozen in place. 

A short little black number, ending way too high up your thighs for his liking. Jeno could clearly see from your side pose that it was backless, the halter strings of the dress tied in a perfect bow at the back of your neck. The front? Jeno couldnt even think about the front right now, not when he could clearly see Jaehyun’s eyes were definitely not directed toward the camera lens. 

“Bro… you must have done something terrible in your past life.” His friend Donghyuck laughed into his ear. “The dude’s looking at her as if he won a fucking jackpot!” 

“Say’s the bitchless one.” Jisung quipped, adding on a rushed defense. “Not that ___’s a bitch, Jeno.” 

Jeno could only groan in despair. “What am I meant to do? I don’t even know what club she’s a-” 

“Envy. It’s written on the cup, Dumbass.” Jeno glared at his friends icon on the call, then glancing back to the image and sure enough, the black cup in your hand had the club logo printed on the side. “Jeno, you’re designated driver.. And who else.. Mark?”

Mark let out an unsure sound of agreement. “Uh.. yeah, sure. I’m not staying though, got work early in the morning and this internship is kicking my ass. I’ll drop you at the door and pick you up but that’s it.” 

Jeno was silently seething, continuing to tap through Hendery’s story as his friends made arrangements. In each one of them, the same guy was always with you. Even when you weren’t in the photograph, Jeno caught sight of you both in the background and with new determination, he shucked off his hoodie to get ready. 

You were having a good time. Much better than being ignored by your boyfriend, that’s for sure. Part of you still wished you'd put your foot down and demanded Jeno pay attention to you. He was the one who asked you to go over after all. But, you much preferred dancing with your friends over causing arguments with Jeno.

You were dancing with Ten and Jaehyun when you first spotted the familiar head of black and pink streaked hair. The grinning man approaching the three of you the moment he caught sight. 

“Chenle? What are you doing here?” You shouted over the music, eyebrows drawn in confusion. 

Honestly, you could probably count on one hand the amount of times you’d seen Chenle make an appearance at a night club. The younger shrugged with faux innocence, his grin broadening as his gaze caught sight of someone over your shoulder. 

“Ask him.” He simply stated, with the nudge forward of his head being a signal for you to probably turn around. 

From the way the colour drained from Jaehyun’s face, however, you weren’t sure you wanted to. You could physically feel the anger radiating from the person behind you - You were 100% certain who it was. It was solidified when a hard chest pressed against your back, hot breath against your ear. 

“Yeah, ____. Ask me.” You’d never experience this Jeno yet. This Jeno was mad, His voice sharp and heavy, the emotion making it slightly husky. 

Chenle only grinned wider, shooting you a thumbs up as he coaxed your friends to the bar. You didn’t face your boyfriend yet. Unsure of what you might see, if his voice was anything to go by you’d probably fold in thirty seconds flat. Jeno has a special talent in making you fold. Instead, you crossed your arms over your chest, straightening your shoulders. How dare he come and crash your fun? After he ignored you for so many hours. 

“Finally remembered you have a girlfriend then?” Was your snarky reply. 

You were so glad you weren’t looking at him, from the way a tense silence followed your words. Honestly, you stupidly thought you’d made him speechless. A smirk tugging at the corners of your glossy lips. The triumph didn’t last for long, the victory slowly fading from your face at the almost sinister chuckle. 

“Could say the same about you.” Jeno’s clipped tone bit right back, his strong hands settling on your waist. “Someone should tell Jung fucking Yoon-Oh to get his own girlfriend and stop making googly eyes at mine.” Your boyfriend’s gravelly voice rumbled into your ear. 

That made you step forward, Jeno’s hands falling away from your waist before he could tighten his hold to stop you. Your mouth opened to speak but your words got stuck in your throat. There he stood, Pink hair swept back in probably the only style he knows how to do himself, black skinny jeans and a dress shirt with only the bottom few buttons done up to leave it open to the bottom of his sternum. He looked mouth watering. You could feel your resolve crumbling bit by bit. 

“He-He didn’t touch me.” You choked out. “He’s just a friend, Jen.” 

Your voice didn’t sound like you, it was breathy and low but somehow he heard you. Jeno’s facial features were set in a hard line, stormy with jealousy, the constant flashing lights around you reflecting off his eyebrow piercing. His jaw flexed. 

“To you, yes. But to him? Baby, when you showed up here looking like fucking aphrodite in that dress… he probably thought it was his birthday.” He said tautly. 

You didn’t have anything to say to that. You couldn’t dispel Jeno’s worries either. Whilst you had definitely noticed how the man in question hadn’t left you alone all night, you’d done nothing to try and put any distance toward you. Your anger at your boyfriend had clouded your judgement -  your mind telling you that Jaehyun was just acting as a comforting friend and listening ear. Though with the amount of times he’s still asked you out and the amount of ‘jokes’ he makes hinting at you being ‘too good’ for Jeno, you can’t say you blame your boyfriend for his blatant dislike. In his defense, Jeno had voiced his insecurities surrounding the man many times to you and you knew it was something he was very much bothered about. 

At the thought, your anger dissipated like a deflating balloon. If you’d just spoken to Jeno in the first place then you probably wouldn’t be in this situation. The apology died on your lips when both sides of your face was firmly cupped and Jeno leant in. His nose brushing yours as his almost possessive gaze met your startled one. 

“Mine. ____ you’re mine.” He spoke through gritted teeth, his statement firm. You didn’t disagree anyway. 

“Only yours.” Your instant reply had his shoulder relaxing only slightly. 

The tension was thick and neither of you had leant away. It was as if a rubber band had snapped when your lips met, hungry and claiming. Hands all over each other desperate to find purchase.

That was how you found yourself in your current state. Pressed against the locked door to the club restroom with your dress bunched around your waist. Your high heels dug into the backs of Jeno’s thighs as each hard drive forward thudded your back louder against the wood. Jeno couldn't help but admire your smudged lip gloss, the rest of which he was sure to be smeared along his neck, the base of his cock, and his own lips. Eyeliner and mascara streaked further down your cheeks with each pleasured sob. 

Jeno’s firm grip on your thighs hoisted you against the door, he made no effort at all to silence your cries and moans. He didn’t want to this time. You were his and right now he really hoped Jaehyun was waiting outside for the restrooms to be unoccupied. With a deep moan of his own, his teeth reattached to your neck. It was as if he thought the bruises he marred your skin with would have faded in the last thirty seconds, his teeth pulling at the skin over them. 

“Say it again, Baby. Please.” He uttered breathlessly, delivering a particularly firm thrust.

Your words were incoherent, you may aswell have been babbling total nonsense. This man had filled you to the brim, pounding the same spot over and over enough for you to see stars.  An elongated whine left you, fingernails gripping at Jeno’s back underneath his shirt. Your thighs shook in his hands. 

“Yours. Jen-no! Always… Always yours.” You cried out, almost letting out a scream when he tilted your hips for the right angle. 

“Oh god… oh g-god!” Your sobs were like music to his ears, your pleas and praises fuelling his speed. 

Jeno lifted his head, sweat beading his brow as he kissed away your tears. His chest was flushed red from exertion. You tried to hold on longer, you really did but your orgasm crashed down on you almost abruptly, dragging a filthy, loud, wanton moan of his name from your throat. 

“Shit…” Jeno swore as you clamped down around him almost in a death grip, prompting his own release. 

You felt like your whole body was twitching in the aftershocks. You almost flinched at the sensitivity of Jeno’s piercing dragging against your sensitive parts as he slowly pulled out. The both of you were panting heavily like you’d run a London marathon. You made no effort to move and clean up yet, opting to draw Jeno’s torso into your body in a tight embrace. 

“I’m sorry for playing on your insecurities.” You admitted sheepishly into his ear. “I was just so annoyed.” 

A soft hum in reply was heard, the sound still lightly vibrating his chest. “Why were you annoyed?” 

“You invited me over to just ignore me for hours. I just wanted some quality time with you.” Your confession had Jeno’s mind clicking everything into place. 

“Oh… I didn’t think of it like that. ____ I just always want you around. I hate it when you go back to your apartment.” He lifted his head from where it was nuzzled comfortably against your marked chest. 

Your tongue darted out to nervously wet your lips, your right shoulder lazily lifting in thought. “Okay…” You started off, slowly. “Then… What if I didn’t?” You offered tentatively.

Jeno didn’t say anything as he processed your words, his lips pulling into the first smile he had directed at you all evening. “Then… I’d clear out half of the closet space for you… maybe get you a key cut.” 

“I’d like that.” His smile was contagious as hell, the corners of your mouth pulling up into an expression to match his own. 

Jeno quickly cleaned you both up after that with a mutual agreement that you should both go home and shower. His large hand wrapped tightly in your own. You both looked a disheveled mess, your panda eyes and his wrinkled shirt and messy hair. However, you’d made yourselves presentable enough to make it to the car. His free hand twisted the lock on the door, pulling it open to the stunned faces of your friends. None of them said anything but judging from the smirks and snickers, you’d surely get drilled in the group chat later. 

One face stuck out to Jeno amongst them all. The one closest to the door. The number one cause for his possessive streak this evening and whilst you were off saying goodbye to your friends, Jeno leaned in slightly for only Jaehyun to hear him. 

“Game Over, Loverboy.”

fic boost!

GAME OVER - LEE JENO X READER

GAME OVER

Navi - m.list

Pairing: Lee Jeno x Fem! Reader

Theme: Hint at college au! This is the same paring from my fic ‘Quiet’, fluff, smut, hint of angst? Crack maybe?

Synopsis: When your boyfriend invites you over to his place only to ignore you to play games with his friends all evening, you decide to go out and celebrate a mutual friend’s birthday instead. Jeno never minds when you go out to clubs and bars… only when a specific Loverboy doesn’t tend to leave your side all evening. 

Warnings: Lots of swearing, Probably over use of many variations of ‘fuck’, Big dick! Jeno, Pierced! Jeno, Possessive!Jeno, A hint of angst?, Jealousy, Jaehyun clearly likes you allot regardless of your boyfriend, He’s kind of a subtle dick?, the reader and Jeno are sort of in an argument, Unprotected sex, Exhibitionism ( They fuck in the restrooms and Jaehyun is outside), fluff at the end, Jeno is a smug little shit, marking,  idk what else. 

Word count: 2,698

Note: Hey my lovelies, another Jeno fic! I’m going to attempt to have all the NCT fics I write to be in the same universe. So, when Set Me Free is released it will fall in with this fic too even though it’s Intern!Mark. I know I said that last Jeno smut would be the one and only smut i do but honestly when inspiration strikes - you just gotta. I made the dividers and the header on Canva. Feel free to send asks about my fic characters. The spice is very brief in this one, i apologise - I didn’t want the smut to be too detailed. It's still my longest of the three i've published so far. I feel like my 'writing rust' is curing slowly? I apologise for any grammatical errors

Reblogs and feedback are appreciated! 

“Are you sure the exit is covered, Mark?” Jeno heard through the device in his ear. 

“For the last time, Yes,” Mark grumbled in exasperation, as he scanned the surroundings. 

Jeno could only chuckle, observing from his characters spot on a nearby rooftop. His thumb slowly moved the left analog stick to change the camera angle and look around once more. “Chenle, on your left - there’s Hyuc-” He abruptly called out, voice raising with the excitement.

“What? Fucking whe- Shit!” Jeno had to pull one of his earphones out at the enraged screech that followed, Chenle shouting for Renjun to come and revive him. 

One game soon turned into two, then three, and now four. And it was as if Jeno had forgotten all about you for the moment. You, who was sprawled out on your back, boredly counting each line of profanity you heard your boyfriend boom down his mic. This wasn’t what you had in mind when Jeno asked you to come over after class. You’d hoped that he would opt out of squad night and spend some alone time with you - seeing as you hadn’t really had much time to yourselves since way before the camping trip last month, and whilst you loved his friends like family there was only so much of their company you could take.

You lazily picked your phone up from the floor, responding to a few messages until you hovered over the most recent one. “Coming out tonight? It’s Xiaojun’s birthday.” Your thumbs hesitated in typing out a reply, chin tilting to glance over at your boyfriend, who showed zero signs of stopping his game. As you stood, your knees and ankles groaned in protest from being sprawled out on the fuzzy rug for hours. 

“Jen..” You called out, shoulders slumping when the other didn’t respond. “Jen!” You repeated louder, unable to keep the hint of annoyance from your voice. Jeno jumped, he would never admit it but he almost forgot you were there. He removed an earphone, muting his mic to turn toward you. 

“Yes, Baby?” He hummed, raising a pierced brow. He hadn’t caught on to the clear boredom in your expression, nor the dejected tone to your voice as you spoke again. 

“I’m gonna head out, Ten invited me out for Xiaojun’s birthday.” You explained, Jeno’s eyes creasing at the corners as he smiled at the mention of the two. 

“Make sure Ten don’t go home with Johnny again.” Was all he said, already beginning to turn back to his computer. 

You couldn’t believe that was all he said, he didn’t even offer to go with you nor drop you off. You stood there for a moment, left eye almost twitching in anger at the whole situation. You weren’t a clingy girlfriend, you never demanded to be with Jeno all the time. It was quite the opposite actually, but there were times when he acted like this and it got to you. All you wanted was some one on one time.. 

Deciding to forego the impending argument for tonight, you shuffled closer to him to press a kiss to his forehead so you didn’t disturb his game. “You’re coming back here, right?” he mumbled, not even waiting your answer properly before a harsh “You fuck head, Hyuck!” escaped him. 

With a mumbled ‘sure’, you gathered your bag and left him to it.

Jeno hadn’t even realised how he was acting. He still continued gaming with the guys for at least two or three more hours. He stretched his arms above his head on a groan, clicking his spine as he twisted in his chair. “Mark, pick another game. This one’s getting too easy to beat you at.” He snickered smugly. 

“You seen Hendery’s story, Jen?” The voice sounded almost devious. As if Jaemin was in on a secret nobody else was. 

Instead of answering, his hand swiped up his phone from beside his keyboard and swiftly unlocked it with his thumb. Jeno found Hendery’s profile and tapped on the story. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. It was you, Xiaojun and Jaehyun. The later, Jeno wasn’t particularly a big fan of… okay that was a massive understatement. Quite frankly, Jeno hated the way the man looked at you. He knew Jaehyun had asked you out a few times, before you and Jeno had gone public, and whilst he knew you turned him down everytime… he also was very much aware of how persistent the older man could be. Not that Jeno didn’t trust you, he trusted you with his life but Jaehyun however? No.

Jeno’s gaze drifted over your frame in the picture, his breath drawing in sharply. “Fuck me…” he cursed. The dress you were wearing had him frozen in place. 

A short little black number, ending way too high up your thighs for his liking. Jeno could clearly see from your side pose that it was backless, the halter strings of the dress tied in a perfect bow at the back of your neck. The front? Jeno couldnt even think about the front right now, not when he could clearly see Jaehyun’s eyes were definitely not directed toward the camera lens. 

“Bro… you must have done something terrible in your past life.” His friend Donghyuck laughed into his ear. “The dude’s looking at her as if he won a fucking jackpot!” 

“Say’s the bitchless one.” Jisung quipped, adding on a rushed defense. “Not that ___’s a bitch, Jeno.” 

Jeno could only groan in despair. “What am I meant to do? I don’t even know what club she’s a-” 

“Envy. It’s written on the cup, Dumbass.” Jeno glared at his friends icon on the call, then glancing back to the image and sure enough, the black cup in your hand had the club logo printed on the side. “Jeno, you’re designated driver.. And who else.. Mark?”

Mark let out an unsure sound of agreement. “Uh.. yeah, sure. I’m not staying though, got work early in the morning and this internship is kicking my ass. I’ll drop you at the door and pick you up but that’s it.” 

Jeno was silently seething, continuing to tap through Hendery’s story as his friends made arrangements. In each one of them, the same guy was always with you. Even when you weren’t in the photograph, Jeno caught sight of you both in the background and with new determination, he shucked off his hoodie to get ready. 

You were having a good time. Much better than being ignored by your boyfriend, that’s for sure. Part of you still wished you'd put your foot down and demanded Jeno pay attention to you. He was the one who asked you to go over after all. But, you much preferred dancing with your friends over causing arguments with Jeno.

You were dancing with Ten and Jaehyun when you first spotted the familiar head of black and pink streaked hair. The grinning man approaching the three of you the moment he caught sight. 

“Chenle? What are you doing here?” You shouted over the music, eyebrows drawn in confusion. 

Honestly, you could probably count on one hand the amount of times you’d seen Chenle make an appearance at a night club. The younger shrugged with faux innocence, his grin broadening as his gaze caught sight of someone over your shoulder. 

“Ask him.” He simply stated, with the nudge forward of his head being a signal for you to probably turn around. 

From the way the colour drained from Jaehyun’s face, however, you weren’t sure you wanted to. You could physically feel the anger radiating from the person behind you - You were 100% certain who it was. It was solidified when a hard chest pressed against your back, hot breath against your ear. 

“Yeah, ____. Ask me.” You’d never experience this Jeno yet. This Jeno was mad, His voice sharp and heavy, the emotion making it slightly husky. 

Chenle only grinned wider, shooting you a thumbs up as he coaxed your friends to the bar. You didn’t face your boyfriend yet. Unsure of what you might see, if his voice was anything to go by you’d probably fold in thirty seconds flat. Jeno has a special talent in making you fold. Instead, you crossed your arms over your chest, straightening your shoulders. How dare he come and crash your fun? After he ignored you for so many hours. 

“Finally remembered you have a girlfriend then?” Was your snarky reply. 

You were so glad you weren’t looking at him, from the way a tense silence followed your words. Honestly, you stupidly thought you’d made him speechless. A smirk tugging at the corners of your glossy lips. The triumph didn’t last for long, the victory slowly fading from your face at the almost sinister chuckle. 

“Could say the same about you.” Jeno’s clipped tone bit right back, his strong hands settling on your waist. “Someone should tell Jung fucking Yoon-Oh to get his own girlfriend and stop making googly eyes at mine.” Your boyfriend’s gravelly voice rumbled into your ear. 

That made you step forward, Jeno’s hands falling away from your waist before he could tighten his hold to stop you. Your mouth opened to speak but your words got stuck in your throat. There he stood, Pink hair swept back in probably the only style he knows how to do himself, black skinny jeans and a dress shirt with only the bottom few buttons done up to leave it open to the bottom of his sternum. He looked mouth watering. You could feel your resolve crumbling bit by bit. 

“He-He didn’t touch me.” You choked out. “He’s just a friend, Jen.” 

Your voice didn’t sound like you, it was breathy and low but somehow he heard you. Jeno’s facial features were set in a hard line, stormy with jealousy, the constant flashing lights around you reflecting off his eyebrow piercing. His jaw flexed. 

“To you, yes. But to him? Baby, when you showed up here looking like fucking aphrodite in that dress… he probably thought it was his birthday.” He said tautly. 

You didn’t have anything to say to that. You couldn’t dispel Jeno’s worries either. Whilst you had definitely noticed how the man in question hadn’t left you alone all night, you’d done nothing to try and put any distance toward you. Your anger at your boyfriend had clouded your judgement -  your mind telling you that Jaehyun was just acting as a comforting friend and listening ear. Though with the amount of times he’s still asked you out and the amount of ‘jokes’ he makes hinting at you being ‘too good’ for Jeno, you can’t say you blame your boyfriend for his blatant dislike. In his defense, Jeno had voiced his insecurities surrounding the man many times to you and you knew it was something he was very much bothered about. 

At the thought, your anger dissipated like a deflating balloon. If you’d just spoken to Jeno in the first place then you probably wouldn’t be in this situation. The apology died on your lips when both sides of your face was firmly cupped and Jeno leant in. His nose brushing yours as his almost possessive gaze met your startled one. 

“Mine. ____ you’re mine.” He spoke through gritted teeth, his statement firm. You didn’t disagree anyway. 

“Only yours.” Your instant reply had his shoulder relaxing only slightly. 

The tension was thick and neither of you had leant away. It was as if a rubber band had snapped when your lips met, hungry and claiming. Hands all over each other desperate to find purchase.

That was how you found yourself in your current state. Pressed against the locked door to the club restroom with your dress bunched around your waist. Your high heels dug into the backs of Jeno’s thighs as each hard drive forward thudded your back louder against the wood. Jeno couldn't help but admire your smudged lip gloss, the rest of which he was sure to be smeared along his neck, the base of his cock, and his own lips. Eyeliner and mascara streaked further down your cheeks with each pleasured sob. 

Jeno’s firm grip on your thighs hoisted you against the door, he made no effort at all to silence your cries and moans. He didn’t want to this time. You were his and right now he really hoped Jaehyun was waiting outside for the restrooms to be unoccupied. With a deep moan of his own, his teeth reattached to your neck. It was as if he thought the bruises he marred your skin with would have faded in the last thirty seconds, his teeth pulling at the skin over them. 

“Say it again, Baby. Please.” He uttered breathlessly, delivering a particularly firm thrust.

Your words were incoherent, you may aswell have been babbling total nonsense. This man had filled you to the brim, pounding the same spot over and over enough for you to see stars.  An elongated whine left you, fingernails gripping at Jeno’s back underneath his shirt. Your thighs shook in his hands. 

“Yours. Jen-no! Always… Always yours.” You cried out, almost letting out a scream when he tilted your hips for the right angle. 

“Oh god… oh g-god!” Your sobs were like music to his ears, your pleas and praises fuelling his speed. 

Jeno lifted his head, sweat beading his brow as he kissed away your tears. His chest was flushed red from exertion. You tried to hold on longer, you really did but your orgasm crashed down on you almost abruptly, dragging a filthy, loud, wanton moan of his name from your throat. 

“Shit…” Jeno swore as you clamped down around him almost in a death grip, prompting his own release. 

You felt like your whole body was twitching in the aftershocks. You almost flinched at the sensitivity of Jeno’s piercing dragging against your sensitive parts as he slowly pulled out. The both of you were panting heavily like you’d run a London marathon. You made no effort to move and clean up yet, opting to draw Jeno’s torso into your body in a tight embrace. 

“I’m sorry for playing on your insecurities.” You admitted sheepishly into his ear. “I was just so annoyed.” 

A soft hum in reply was heard, the sound still lightly vibrating his chest. “Why were you annoyed?” 

“You invited me over to just ignore me for hours. I just wanted some quality time with you.” Your confession had Jeno’s mind clicking everything into place. 

“Oh… I didn’t think of it like that. ____ I just always want you around. I hate it when you go back to your apartment.” He lifted his head from where it was nuzzled comfortably against your marked chest. 

Your tongue darted out to nervously wet your lips, your right shoulder lazily lifting in thought. “Okay…” You started off, slowly. “Then… What if I didn’t?” You offered tentatively.

Jeno didn’t say anything as he processed your words, his lips pulling into the first smile he had directed at you all evening. “Then… I’d clear out half of the closet space for you… maybe get you a key cut.” 

“I’d like that.” His smile was contagious as hell, the corners of your mouth pulling up into an expression to match his own. 

Jeno quickly cleaned you both up after that with a mutual agreement that you should both go home and shower. His large hand wrapped tightly in your own. You both looked a disheveled mess, your panda eyes and his wrinkled shirt and messy hair. However, you’d made yourselves presentable enough to make it to the car. His free hand twisted the lock on the door, pulling it open to the stunned faces of your friends. None of them said anything but judging from the smirks and snickers, you’d surely get drilled in the group chat later. 

One face stuck out to Jeno amongst them all. The one closest to the door. The number one cause for his possessive streak this evening and whilst you were off saying goodbye to your friends, Jeno leaned in slightly for only Jaehyun to hear him. 

“Game Over, Loverboy.”

GAME OVER - LEE JENO X READER

GAME OVER

Navi - m.list

Pairing: Lee Jeno x Fem! Reader

Theme: Hint at college au! This is the same paring from my fic ‘Quiet’, fluff, smut, hint of angst? Crack maybe?

Synopsis: When your boyfriend invites you over to his place only to ignore you to play games with his friends all evening, you decide to go out and celebrate a mutual friend’s birthday instead. Jeno never minds when you go out to clubs and bars… only when a specific Loverboy doesn’t tend to leave your side all evening. 

Warnings: Lots of swearing, Probably over use of many variations of ‘fuck’, Big dick! Jeno, Pierced! Jeno, Possessive!Jeno, A hint of angst?, Jealousy, Jaehyun clearly likes you allot regardless of your boyfriend, He’s kind of a subtle dick?, the reader and Jeno are sort of in an argument, Unprotected sex, Exhibitionism ( They fuck in the restrooms and Jaehyun is outside), fluff at the end, Jeno is a smug little shit, marking,  idk what else. 

Word count: 2,698

Note: Hey my lovelies, another Jeno fic! I’m going to attempt to have all the NCT fics I write to be in the same universe. So, when Set Me Free is released it will fall in with this fic too even though it’s Intern!Mark. I know I said that last Jeno smut would be the one and only smut i do but honestly when inspiration strikes - you just gotta. I made the dividers and the header on Canva. Feel free to send asks about my fic characters. The spice is very brief in this one, i apologise - I didn’t want the smut to be too detailed. It's still my longest of the three i've published so far. I feel like my 'writing rust' is curing slowly? I apologise for any grammatical errors

Reblogs and feedback are appreciated! 

“Are you sure the exit is covered, Mark?” Jeno heard through the device in his ear. 

“For the last time, Yes,” Mark grumbled in exasperation, as he scanned the surroundings. 

Jeno could only chuckle, observing from his characters spot on a nearby rooftop. His thumb slowly moved the left analog stick to change the camera angle and look around once more. “Chenle, on your left - there’s Hyuc-” He abruptly called out, voice raising with the excitement.

“What? Fucking whe- Shit!” Jeno had to pull one of his earphones out at the enraged screech that followed, Chenle shouting for Renjun to come and revive him. 

One game soon turned into two, then three, and now four. And it was as if Jeno had forgotten all about you for the moment. You, who was sprawled out on your back, boredly counting each line of profanity you heard your boyfriend boom down his mic. This wasn’t what you had in mind when Jeno asked you to come over after class. You’d hoped that he would opt out of squad night and spend some alone time with you - seeing as you hadn’t really had much time to yourselves since way before the camping trip last month, and whilst you loved his friends like family there was only so much of their company you could take.

You lazily picked your phone up from the floor, responding to a few messages until you hovered over the most recent one. “Coming out tonight? It’s Xiaojun’s birthday.” Your thumbs hesitated in typing out a reply, chin tilting to glance over at your boyfriend, who showed zero signs of stopping his game. As you stood, your knees and ankles groaned in protest from being sprawled out on the fuzzy rug for hours. 

“Jen..” You called out, shoulders slumping when the other didn’t respond. “Jen!” You repeated louder, unable to keep the hint of annoyance from your voice. Jeno jumped, he would never admit it but he almost forgot you were there. He removed an earphone, muting his mic to turn toward you. 

“Yes, Baby?” He hummed, raising a pierced brow. He hadn’t caught on to the clear boredom in your expression, nor the dejected tone to your voice as you spoke again. 

“I’m gonna head out, Ten invited me out for Xiaojun’s birthday.” You explained, Jeno’s eyes creasing at the corners as he smiled at the mention of the two. 

“Make sure Ten don’t go home with Johnny again.” Was all he said, already beginning to turn back to his computer. 

You couldn’t believe that was all he said, he didn’t even offer to go with you nor drop you off. You stood there for a moment, left eye almost twitching in anger at the whole situation. You weren’t a clingy girlfriend, you never demanded to be with Jeno all the time. It was quite the opposite actually, but there were times when he acted like this and it got to you. All you wanted was some one on one time.. 

Deciding to forego the impending argument for tonight, you shuffled closer to him to press a kiss to his forehead so you didn’t disturb his game. “You’re coming back here, right?” he mumbled, not even waiting your answer properly before a harsh “You fuck head, Hyuck!” escaped him. 

With a mumbled ‘sure’, you gathered your bag and left him to it.

Jeno hadn’t even realised how he was acting. He still continued gaming with the guys for at least two or three more hours. He stretched his arms above his head on a groan, clicking his spine as he twisted in his chair. “Mark, pick another game. This one’s getting too easy to beat you at.” He snickered smugly. 

“You seen Hendery’s story, Jen?” The voice sounded almost devious. As if Jaemin was in on a secret nobody else was. 

Instead of answering, his hand swiped up his phone from beside his keyboard and swiftly unlocked it with his thumb. Jeno found Hendery’s profile and tapped on the story. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. It was you, Xiaojun and Jaehyun. The later, Jeno wasn’t particularly a big fan of… okay that was a massive understatement. Quite frankly, Jeno hated the way the man looked at you. He knew Jaehyun had asked you out a few times, before you and Jeno had gone public, and whilst he knew you turned him down everytime… he also was very much aware of how persistent the older man could be. Not that Jeno didn’t trust you, he trusted you with his life but Jaehyun however? No.

Jeno’s gaze drifted over your frame in the picture, his breath drawing in sharply. “Fuck me…” he cursed. The dress you were wearing had him frozen in place. 

A short little black number, ending way too high up your thighs for his liking. Jeno could clearly see from your side pose that it was backless, the halter strings of the dress tied in a perfect bow at the back of your neck. The front? Jeno couldnt even think about the front right now, not when he could clearly see Jaehyun’s eyes were definitely not directed toward the camera lens. 

“Bro… you must have done something terrible in your past life.” His friend Donghyuck laughed into his ear. “The dude’s looking at her as if he won a fucking jackpot!” 

“Say’s the bitchless one.” Jisung quipped, adding on a rushed defense. “Not that ___’s a bitch, Jeno.” 

Jeno could only groan in despair. “What am I meant to do? I don’t even know what club she’s a-” 

“Envy. It’s written on the cup, Dumbass.” Jeno glared at his friends icon on the call, then glancing back to the image and sure enough, the black cup in your hand had the club logo printed on the side. “Jeno, you’re designated driver.. And who else.. Mark?”

Mark let out an unsure sound of agreement. “Uh.. yeah, sure. I’m not staying though, got work early in the morning and this internship is kicking my ass. I’ll drop you at the door and pick you up but that’s it.” 

Jeno was silently seething, continuing to tap through Hendery’s story as his friends made arrangements. In each one of them, the same guy was always with you. Even when you weren’t in the photograph, Jeno caught sight of you both in the background and with new determination, he shucked off his hoodie to get ready. 

You were having a good time. Much better than being ignored by your boyfriend, that’s for sure. Part of you still wished you'd put your foot down and demanded Jeno pay attention to you. He was the one who asked you to go over after all. But, you much preferred dancing with your friends over causing arguments with Jeno.

You were dancing with Ten and Jaehyun when you first spotted the familiar head of black and pink streaked hair. The grinning man approaching the three of you the moment he caught sight. 

“Chenle? What are you doing here?” You shouted over the music, eyebrows drawn in confusion. 

Honestly, you could probably count on one hand the amount of times you’d seen Chenle make an appearance at a night club. The younger shrugged with faux innocence, his grin broadening as his gaze caught sight of someone over your shoulder. 

“Ask him.” He simply stated, with the nudge forward of his head being a signal for you to probably turn around. 

From the way the colour drained from Jaehyun’s face, however, you weren’t sure you wanted to. You could physically feel the anger radiating from the person behind you - You were 100% certain who it was. It was solidified when a hard chest pressed against your back, hot breath against your ear. 

“Yeah, ____. Ask me.” You’d never experience this Jeno yet. This Jeno was mad, His voice sharp and heavy, the emotion making it slightly husky. 

Chenle only grinned wider, shooting you a thumbs up as he coaxed your friends to the bar. You didn’t face your boyfriend yet. Unsure of what you might see, if his voice was anything to go by you’d probably fold in thirty seconds flat. Jeno has a special talent in making you fold. Instead, you crossed your arms over your chest, straightening your shoulders. How dare he come and crash your fun? After he ignored you for so many hours. 

“Finally remembered you have a girlfriend then?” Was your snarky reply. 

You were so glad you weren’t looking at him, from the way a tense silence followed your words. Honestly, you stupidly thought you’d made him speechless. A smirk tugging at the corners of your glossy lips. The triumph didn’t last for long, the victory slowly fading from your face at the almost sinister chuckle. 

“Could say the same about you.” Jeno’s clipped tone bit right back, his strong hands settling on your waist. “Someone should tell Jung fucking Yoon-Oh to get his own girlfriend and stop making googly eyes at mine.” Your boyfriend’s gravelly voice rumbled into your ear. 

That made you step forward, Jeno’s hands falling away from your waist before he could tighten his hold to stop you. Your mouth opened to speak but your words got stuck in your throat. There he stood, Pink hair swept back in probably the only style he knows how to do himself, black skinny jeans and a dress shirt with only the bottom few buttons done up to leave it open to the bottom of his sternum. He looked mouth watering. You could feel your resolve crumbling bit by bit. 

“He-He didn’t touch me.” You choked out. “He’s just a friend, Jen.” 

Your voice didn’t sound like you, it was breathy and low but somehow he heard you. Jeno’s facial features were set in a hard line, stormy with jealousy, the constant flashing lights around you reflecting off his eyebrow piercing. His jaw flexed. 

“To you, yes. But to him? Baby, when you showed up here looking like fucking aphrodite in that dress… he probably thought it was his birthday.” He said tautly. 

You didn’t have anything to say to that. You couldn’t dispel Jeno’s worries either. Whilst you had definitely noticed how the man in question hadn’t left you alone all night, you’d done nothing to try and put any distance toward you. Your anger at your boyfriend had clouded your judgement -  your mind telling you that Jaehyun was just acting as a comforting friend and listening ear. Though with the amount of times he’s still asked you out and the amount of ‘jokes’ he makes hinting at you being ‘too good’ for Jeno, you can’t say you blame your boyfriend for his blatant dislike. In his defense, Jeno had voiced his insecurities surrounding the man many times to you and you knew it was something he was very much bothered about. 

At the thought, your anger dissipated like a deflating balloon. If you’d just spoken to Jeno in the first place then you probably wouldn’t be in this situation. The apology died on your lips when both sides of your face was firmly cupped and Jeno leant in. His nose brushing yours as his almost possessive gaze met your startled one. 

“Mine. ____ you’re mine.” He spoke through gritted teeth, his statement firm. You didn’t disagree anyway. 

“Only yours.” Your instant reply had his shoulder relaxing only slightly. 

The tension was thick and neither of you had leant away. It was as if a rubber band had snapped when your lips met, hungry and claiming. Hands all over each other desperate to find purchase.

That was how you found yourself in your current state. Pressed against the locked door to the club restroom with your dress bunched around your waist. Your high heels dug into the backs of Jeno’s thighs as each hard drive forward thudded your back louder against the wood. Jeno couldn't help but admire your smudged lip gloss, the rest of which he was sure to be smeared along his neck, the base of his cock, and his own lips. Eyeliner and mascara streaked further down your cheeks with each pleasured sob. 

Jeno’s firm grip on your thighs hoisted you against the door, he made no effort at all to silence your cries and moans. He didn’t want to this time. You were his and right now he really hoped Jaehyun was waiting outside for the restrooms to be unoccupied. With a deep moan of his own, his teeth reattached to your neck. It was as if he thought the bruises he marred your skin with would have faded in the last thirty seconds, his teeth pulling at the skin over them. 

“Say it again, Baby. Please.” He uttered breathlessly, delivering a particularly firm thrust.

Your words were incoherent, you may aswell have been babbling total nonsense. This man had filled you to the brim, pounding the same spot over and over enough for you to see stars.  An elongated whine left you, fingernails gripping at Jeno’s back underneath his shirt. Your thighs shook in his hands. 

“Yours. Jen-no! Always… Always yours.” You cried out, almost letting out a scream when he tilted your hips for the right angle. 

“Oh god… oh g-god!” Your sobs were like music to his ears, your pleas and praises fuelling his speed. 

Jeno lifted his head, sweat beading his brow as he kissed away your tears. His chest was flushed red from exertion. You tried to hold on longer, you really did but your orgasm crashed down on you almost abruptly, dragging a filthy, loud, wanton moan of his name from your throat. 

“Shit…” Jeno swore as you clamped down around him almost in a death grip, prompting his own release. 

You felt like your whole body was twitching in the aftershocks. You almost flinched at the sensitivity of Jeno’s piercing dragging against your sensitive parts as he slowly pulled out. The both of you were panting heavily like you’d run a London marathon. You made no effort to move and clean up yet, opting to draw Jeno’s torso into your body in a tight embrace. 

“I’m sorry for playing on your insecurities.” You admitted sheepishly into his ear. “I was just so annoyed.” 

A soft hum in reply was heard, the sound still lightly vibrating his chest. “Why were you annoyed?” 

“You invited me over to just ignore me for hours. I just wanted some quality time with you.” Your confession had Jeno’s mind clicking everything into place. 

“Oh… I didn’t think of it like that. ____ I just always want you around. I hate it when you go back to your apartment.” He lifted his head from where it was nuzzled comfortably against your marked chest. 

Your tongue darted out to nervously wet your lips, your right shoulder lazily lifting in thought. “Okay…” You started off, slowly. “Then… What if I didn’t?” You offered tentatively.

Jeno didn’t say anything as he processed your words, his lips pulling into the first smile he had directed at you all evening. “Then… I’d clear out half of the closet space for you… maybe get you a key cut.” 

“I’d like that.” His smile was contagious as hell, the corners of your mouth pulling up into an expression to match his own. 

Jeno quickly cleaned you both up after that with a mutual agreement that you should both go home and shower. His large hand wrapped tightly in your own. You both looked a disheveled mess, your panda eyes and his wrinkled shirt and messy hair. However, you’d made yourselves presentable enough to make it to the car. His free hand twisted the lock on the door, pulling it open to the stunned faces of your friends. None of them said anything but judging from the smirks and snickers, you’d surely get drilled in the group chat later. 

One face stuck out to Jeno amongst them all. The one closest to the door. The number one cause for his possessive streak this evening and whilst you were off saying goodbye to your friends, Jeno leaned in slightly for only Jaehyun to hear him. 

“Game Over, Loverboy.”