Fic Recs - Tumblr Posts
Because I'm interested, what are some of your favorite fanfics and what fanfics do you love but feel like they should be more popular than they currently are?
You fool.... you have opened the flood gates!
I'm going to stick with the fics that deserve more attention because also listing my favorites that are popular would make this post way too long
In The After by HopeNight. It's a post-canon fic that ignores everything past the Cultural Festival Arc, and follows Midoriya training a girl named Watashi Kiyomi who wants to be a Quirkless Hero. It's excellent and severely underloved.
Ripples on Deep Water by Silver_Snek, which is a rewrite of a fic I really enjoyed up until the ending took a sudden turn, which I assume is related to it being rewriten. This rewrite is still on chapter one, and hasn't updated in... a bit, but I have high hopes.
Don't Forget The Support by FandomsandFlowers, if you want that delicious Support-Heroics Hybrid Quirkless Midoriya
A Sort of Patchwork by DyedViolet, sadly discontinued after the author fell out of the fandom, but otherwise an extremely good urban fantasy with Quirks AU
Syzygy Series by orkestrations. It's Dad For One but everyone already knows and is supportive, and is real good
The Kaiju Hero: Titan Monarch by TreeKiller. The fic that hooked me on Hero Course Hatsume. Should note it has some All Might bashing and Endeavor accidentally gets Inko killed very early on, but if you're cool with that it's fun and wild. Also hasn't updated in a while.
Paper Agency by The Feels Whale, which I'm surprised to see has >100,000 hits. Due to a Department of Education scandal, Midoriya wasn't allowed into any high school. If you think this will stop him, I don't know what manga you've been reading. Starts after graduation.
Okay so Izuku Midoriya vs the World may have been orphaned, but it also has the most interesting take on All Might Negativity I've ever seen in that his entire character arc is overcoming the internalized discrimination he faced growing up that he never had to examine after getting OFA. Abusive Inko.
Flashback by Psyckosama has less than 100,000 hits and that should be a crime. It is easily one of the best Time Travel Fixits, and has some really cool worldbuilding.
Inheritor of Two by The_Mad_Mystic. It's very similar to Chaos For All. Be aware that Midoriya does lose a limb though.
Crossfire by CosmicMerman. Midoriya fakes a Quirk by buying experimental nanites online.
Shared Dream by Beaumains. Midoriya adopts a cat with a Quirk that lets the cat share traits with people she bonds with. So now he has an intelligent cat he can talk to with his mind and also cat mutations.
Duplicity And All Its Cold Comforts by DragonflyxPardoies. Wanna watch a bunch of kids take down society?
Blood and bones and heroism by Elia41. More urban fantasy fused with MHA. Interesting in that after learning magic, Midoriya figures he may as well make his classmates at UA learn magic too.
Born of cold (and winter air) by StormySkiesAhead. Yes it's another urban fantasy. No I will never be sick of them. Midoriya and Todoroki are dragons, and there are a handful of other magical being in Class 1-A. The LoV breaks into Endeavor's agency to glue tiny plastic camels to everything. Literally what more could you want?
i'll be your biggest kept secret and your biggest mistake by sascake. This one has a pretty dark backstory as a future fic, so be careful of that. Namely, there was an explicit suicide attempt. While it's never shown in detail it's discussed pretty heavily, so be careful about that. Despite that it's mostly a cute love story about Midoriya and Todoroki.
Elemental Storm by CatnipKDODO, who follows this blog, so hi! This fic is getting a rewrite but this version is still available for reading. It has that fandom concept of a third transferable Quirk, in this case one themed around all the elements. Hurricane, that Canadian Hero from WIMTBAH is a cameo from this fic. Tagged as All Might bashing but really isn't.
Drown Together by Zirconium40. Wanna watch everyone destroy society? Darkest HPSC depiction I've seen.
Parallel Lines by Endivinity. Midoriya has AFO and is implied to have killed AFO. Mysteries abound.
if I make it through tonight, everybody's gonna hear me out! by x_asche_13. Described as a Leverage AU, and has one of my favorite 'Izuku and Himiko are siblings' dynamics.
Then I'll Do It My Way by justaglitch. BAMF Yaoyorozu.
Defiant by arc1m3d35. OFA!Uraraka and AFO!Midoriya are trapped on an island AFO uses to hold animalistic Noumu.
Son of a Gun by Randomsumofagum. Izuku is the son of Inko and Nagant.
hell is empty (all the devils are here) by idiot_onion. Midoriya is possessed by a demon. This goes surprisingly well for him.
a cubic centimeter of flesh Series by Lucifra. Due to a series of coincidences and a serious mistake by AFO, Midoriya ends up killing him and stealing his body on complete accident.
My Battle Acamaidia by Drink_Some_Water. Shigaraki played a few too many games and decides that what he needs before the USJ attack... is maids. This is a surprisingly wholesome Villain!Fem!Midoriya fic
Key Lime Pie by Violetsumire, another person who follows this blog, hello! The future daughter of Inko and All Might was left unsupervised with Hatsume and naturally Hatsume sent her back in time, and she sets out to save Izuku's life. Discussed suicide.
Eldritch by CosmicAce. A rewrite. Death asked if anyone was gonna mom Izuku and didn't wait for an answer.
౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Cherry’s SStan Series Rec List
here are my sebastian stan series fic recs! they are mostly bucky barnes series but mainly Au’s! i will be creating separate lists for cevans one shots and sstan one shots😚
Clockwork - @sgt-seabass
When life seems to be finally back on track, a visit by a mob boss to your dainty town changes everything. (Dark!Alpha Nick Fowler)
The Soldat And The Sparrow - @navybrat817
Your fire burns for the Winter Soldier. And one day, you'll be free. Both of you.
For The Love Of The Game - @pellucid-constellations
Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it.
The Heart Is A Deep Ocean - @dreamlessinparis
Titanic was known as the ship of dreams. For you, it was the dream of getting home, or so you thought. From the moment you locked eyes with James Buchanan Barnes, all those dreams changed and your life was never the same.
Everything’s Better In WestView - @espinosaurusrexex
Bucky and Y/N sneak into Westview to have the perfect life. Away from late Steve and Tony, Vision and Natasha, they let themselves be consumed by suburban magic. To their surprise, however, some of these people aren’t so dead in the town. And there are some other weird things happening that make them question their sanity. But that’s okay, right? ‘Cause everything’s better in Westview.
The Bride Of Soldat - @vampy-doll
In the summer of 1986, a young woman goes missing whenever HYDRA kidnaps her to be their next experiment for the reward of their Soldat. Now, post blip, Bucky starts to remember defining details of his love, his match made in hell, and is determined to find her. But after years of isolation and torture after his escape, she isn’t who he remembers. Now they’re trying to piece together who she was pre-HYDRA to teach her how to live, without his undying love and obsession of her getting in the way. But when one head is cut off, two more shall grow in its place, leaving them to discover those behind her abduction.
Awake My Soul - @foreverindreamlandd
It's been five years since zombies first started walking the Earth, destroying anything and everything in their wake. Now, in this apocalyptic world, fighting for survival comes as naturally as breathing. The one thing you've learned ever since they arrived, though, is that the living can be so much more dangerous than the undead. When you stumble across two young, scared boys lost in the woods and being chased by walkers, you go against your better judgment and help them to safety. Little did you know that helping them would lead you to Bucky - an angry, grumpy, distrusting member of the camp Shield. Bucky has zero interest in having you enter his life. He's been hurt before and lost too many people to risk experiencing that kind of pain again, and he knows that there are secrets you aren't telling the group. Yet, when push comes to shove, and you're put at risk, he'll stop at nothing to keep you safe.
Guiding Light - @wkemeup
It was supposed to be a simple mission. Get the intel and go home. Until everything goes wrong and you’re taken captive by Hydra. While you struggle to stay alive and hold your sanity, Bucky begins to lose himself to a darkness and gives into the soldier because he doesn’t know how to breathe without you. Not until he brings you home. If he even can.
The Witness - @wkemeup
Owner of a bar full of criminals, maybe you shouldn’t be surprised when you’re the sole witness to a hydra hit. In comes Detective Barnes, the quick-witted, flirtatious cop who somehow became a regular at your misfit bar. When he takes it upon himself to ensure your safety off the books, you learn to rely on someone else for a change and find you don’t mind it at all. Not when it’s him.
Under Oath - @ugh-supersoldiers
The people called for justice, the state answered. The trial of State v. Barnes is set to begin, and the odds are most certainly not in favor of the not so beloved ex Winter Soldier. That’s where you come in, the quick, smart, and all too brave lawyer set on defending and saving one Bucky Barnes from legal prosecution. The only problem? He’s not so sure he’s worth saving at all.
Just One Kiss - @sarahwroteathing
Bucky Barnes has been chasing after you since he was ten years old, but you’re determined not to give in. How long can you hold out when all he’s asking for is just one kiss?
He’s Hazardous To My Health - @writing-for-marvel
Bucky Barnes is a beefy paramedic with a traumatic past, who has left a trail of broken hearts behind him. You are a resident doctor new to town, who barely has time to date between long shifts. When your paths cross in your ER during a disaster, is it the start of something magical, or are you destined to be just another of Bucky’s former flames?
Just Try - @waiting4inspiration
Perfectly happy with your life at the Avengers’ compound, an alpha walks into your life, flipping it completely over and revealing secrets you hoped you had buried a long time ago.
Дорогая - @waiting4inspiration
Bucky's Winter Soldier programming has been triggered. Turns out the Winter Soldier has a thing for you.
Red Ties - @sebstan2020
Mary, a sweet Christian girl living in the city of Brooklyn as a nurse had a simple life. She loved her work, her friends and attending church every Sunday and helping Reverend Owens. Her life was nothing out of the ordinary. However, it all changed one day when she bumps into the intriguing and intimidating James Barnes, Brooklyn’s notorious mafia boss and is introduced to a world of guns, lust and dominance.
Delicate Edges - @wkemeup
Your family’s beloved flower shop was not the only thing you inherited when your parents passed. Trapped under a mountain of debt to the Hydra club, you bear the cost of your father’s desperate bargain. It’s only in moments when the charming Bucky Barnes walks into your shop that you can forget the cruelty of the biker clubs of this town. But a war is brewing. The border is crumbling. You're trapped in the middle. And Bucky will stop at nothing to keep you safe.
Pride And Privacy - @adrinktostopyourthirst
Bucky works on himself as he gets used to a roommate. Turns out, she has a much better room than him and he crossed the line.
Feelings Are Fatal - @sunmoonandeddie
After the events of Endgame, you struggle to come to terms with what you’ve lost, though you’re learning that you still have something to gain.
Appointments - @noctumbra
bucky barnes, finally being able to live freely in 21st century, accidentally gets a fuck buddy and starts to rediscover himself. the only weird thing about this situation is that you have to make an appointment to get railed by him.
Lazarus - @sagechanoafterdark
Things are complicated between you and James Barnes. For you, life doesn’t mean much when you never stay dead for very long. But it might just be an ex-soviet assassin that convinces you to start living again.
Its A Deal - @justreadingfics
You’re out of a relationship of 10 years and you’re just in desperate need to get laid, no strings attached, no romance, no complications. You dear friend Natasha feels like she’s going to regret this later, but she might have the perfect guy to fulfill your needs.
The Two Of Us - @bucky-bucket-barnes
You and Bucky go to investigate the phenomenon happening in Westview, New Jersey. While attempting to understand the issue, you yourselves are sucked into Wanda's world of pretend. Now, you believe yourselves to be the happily married Mr. and Mrs. Barnes; in real life, you are most definitely not a happy pair. It is up to you and Bucky to piece together what's happening while dealing with one another inside the hex.
Snow - @delaber
Tired of your constant bickering, Sam sends you and Bucky on a mission alone. When the worst possible outcome happens and you’re forced to spend several days together in a small cabin, you finally get to see a different, more pleasurable side to the man whose flesh you’ve always had a thorn in.
All Good Things - @sagechanoafterdark
After only three days of dealing with the annoying specter haunting you, you break the rules and accidently give a ghost a body. So what do you do when you find out the man you’re now sharing your your apartment with isn’t really a ghost and that haunted touch is a little warmer than you realized?
Welcome Home… Soldat? - @winterarmyy
Y/N had make a habit of greeting Bucky a warm 'welcome home' everytime he came back from his missions, but there was one particular day when she unknowingly greeted someone else.
Heavy Metal Lover - @mypoisonedvine
every client is different, with different needs; but this client is, in every way, exceptional. (Sub!Bucky Barnes + Dominatrix!Reader)
Parent-Teacher Conference - @coffeecatsandcandles
James Barnes, a widowed single dad, had forgotten what love felt like and let it crush him, taking his daughter, Rebecca, with him. He was cold, rude, and arrogant, being one of the few teachers at Westview High School the students seemed to absolutely despise. But when you show up, a hopeful math teacher who’d previously taught Rebecca’s kindergarten class, and are adored by your students and colleagues- James’s attitude starts to change.
Duck & Cover - @whirlybirbs
you’re the howling commandos’ new medic (Sniper!Bucky Barnes)
Winter’s Mate - @maggyme13
The Winter Soldier threatens to get out of control with his instincts taking over more and more. After years of supressed ruts his body built up a resistance and Hydra need to find another solution. Deciding it would be the easiest to just give in. Hydra kidnapped the reader to turn her into a Omega in Heat using injections whenever needed.
Key’s In Your Ignition - @georgiapeach30513
Caught up in a sexual relationship with your father’s Vice President, and trying to not get caught. Blind to everything else that’s going on in the club, and even your old crush, Bucky Barnes. Not even noticing your brother and best friend flirting, until your father suddenly passes, and things in the club drastically change. (Ari Levinson + Bucky Barnes + Harvard Hottie- Hayden)
౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Cherrys Fic Recs
here you will find all of my fanfiction recommendations, all of these authors are so talented and there are many more out there, i have included my all time favourites in these lists.
i will continue to add to these lists as i go on, i hope you enjoy and please don’t forget to reblog these amazing writers fics as they deserve so much love!💗💘💞
˖ ࣪⊹𐙚 CEvans + Characters Series ˖ ࣪⊹𐙚
˖ ࣪⊹𐙚 CEvans + Characters One Shots ˖ ࣪⊹𐙚
˖ ࣪⊹𐙚 SStan + Characters Series ˖ ࣪⊹𐙚
౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Cherry’s Cevans One Shot Rec List
here you will find all of my favourite chris evans + characters fanfiction recommendations, i have many more to add and will continue to update this list. Please don’t forget to reblog these amazing writers fics as they deserve so much love!💘💘
Walk On The Wild Side - @hansensgirl
you just wanted to go for a stroll down the road—but he wants you to take a walk on the wild side. (Dark!Chris Evans)
You Better Not Pout, Better Not Cry - @hansensgirl
they know if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. (Dark!Multi character) - i would add every single one of her fics to this list if i could💘
Sinful Devotion - @evansbby
Lloyd promises to let you go, but he demands a depraved repayment. (In other words, Lloyd pops your cherry)- my favourite writer in the whole universe💘
Smothered With Bliss - @whereireid
Is it hard being married to the most influential man in America? You most certainly think it is. — Steve Rogers: Captain America, the heart of his nation, the soul of his country. After returning home from a particularly bad day at work, Steve finally snaps, deciding you need re-educating on how to be the perfect housewife.
The Night - @misshoneybee
Working as the Barber family's nanny is a piece of cake, but what happens when the dad you've been tip-toeing around all year comes home late one night to find you asleep in his bed, wearing his favorite sweater?
Little Miss Red - @anika-ann
Ransom’s looking for a good time tonight, when you walk through the door, he knows he’ll get it. And you? Oh you’ll get it too. He's going to make sure of it.
Unholy Errand - @buckets-and-trees
You're caught in the crosshairs when a hit goes out for your boss. (Dark!Lloyd Hansen + Dark! God The Bounty Hunter + Ransom Drysdale)
What A Shirt Can Tell - @justalonelyslytherin
5+2 times Colin asked 'Is that my shirt?' plus the one time he got asked it. Aka a look through the journey of Colin and his girl, each in which his shirts play an important role.
Start Again - @wkemeup
A chemical spill, uncontrollable desires rushed to the surface, an unbridled need, and the consequences in the aftermath (Steve Rogers)
Daddy’s Little Pet - @sinner-as-saint
You and Steve are the epitome of ‘opposites attract’. He is the American hero, a super soldier who is known for his bravery, and righteousness and for being the one leading the Avengers. You, on the other hand, are a well-known fashion designer in the city. Creator and owner of your own brand, and elite boutique. At first glance, it doesn’t seem like you and Steve would be compatible. But you surprisingly are. And behind closed doors, in secrecy – you two are each other’s solace, each other’s definition of home. He’s your strong, loving and caring man. And you, his lovely, little pet whom he adores more than life itself.
Good Girls And Skype Calls - @youre-deadangel
chris gives you a treat for behaving.
Afternoon Delight - @christowhore
you're steve's live-in housekeeper and find your boss and his friends having a bbq on a heatwave stricken afternoon. they invite you to join them and show you all the pleasurable ways to cool down from the sun. (SoftDark!Steve Rogers + Sam Wilson + Bucky Barnes)
Got You - @hispeculiartreasure
The two of you had grown close over the last year; first as teammates, then as friends. You had been distant at the start, just as he had. Slowly, agonizingly - blood, sweat, and tears were definitely involved - walls were dismantled. A current of trust ran between you, one which caught Steve by surprise. As dense as he could be about matters of the heart, suspicions of his blossoming romantic feelings being mutual had proven true with a simple kiss. (Sex Pollen, Steve Rogers)
Golden Boy - @bucksfucks
you’ve always called steve the golden boy, but he snaps one night and decides to show you he’s anything but. (Roommate!Steve Rogers)
It Must Be That Old Evil Spirit - @vonalyn
There’s something unsettling about his demeanor but you can’t quite put your finger on it. As if there’s something hiding beneath the surface just waiting to pry its way out of the tight shirt across his broad frame and tear your throat out. Maybe it’s your general unease around others when you’re traveling alone, or maybe it’s just him. (Jack-O-Lantern!Ari Levinson)
Stupid Kitty - @onsunnyside
Your father wrongfully entrusted Lloyd to care for you—it’s too bad he’ll never get you back. (Lloyd Hansen x Cat-Hybrid!Reader)
Manners- Or Lack Of Them - @rogerswifesblog
Ransom wants you, the sweet girl at the bar…but you’re not what he expected you to be. (Sub!Ransom Drysdale + Mommy!Reader)
Shadow Boxer - @mypoisonedvine
you’re stuck in the same destructive cycle with ransom, but maybe you don’t want to get out of it. (Angst + Smut, Ransom Drysdale)
It’s Not A Challenge - @gagmebucky
His jaw ticks. “It’s not a challenge, doll,” he bites out. “It’s a warning. If I tried to get inside you, I’d split you in half in the process.” His eyes flicker down, and your nipples are pebbles against the thin, easily-rippable fabric—you’re testing him, and he’s failing. “Goddamn it,” he hisses underneath his breath. “That - that shouldn’t turn you on.” Bristling, he drops his hand and pedals backward—he’s on his last thread, and it’s his sole chance to make a clear-headed decision. (Boxer!Steve Rogers)
Pretty Princess - @frostironfudge
Andy Barber gets jealous when he presumes you shared a room with one of his associates.
Over And Over - @frostironfudge
Ari Levinson is a possessive man, he'll punish you till you apologise.
Such A Good Boy - @lilacevans
You and Ari attend a business meeting, and at the beginning the other boss you're meeting with just assumes that Ari is the one in charge; however, that's not the case. While you look dainty, angelic, like you couldn't even hurt a fly, you're the one who runs the family and will not hesitate to fuck up anyone who stands in your way. (Puppy!Ari Levinson) - one of my favourite fics EVER.💘
Breathe - @buckyownsmylife
The one where the new co-star is obsessed with the idea of making Chris hers, but he makes sure to show her you’re the only one for him.
Justified - @dbnightingale24
Ransom has always been the center of your world you’ve always been the center of his. However, when he can’t change his ways and you’re tired of the heartbreak, is it really so bad if you think it’s best to walk away? Ransom thinks so. - one of the sweetest most talented writers i have ever met💘
My, My, My - @1800jjbarnes
Stevie couldn't help it. Every time he saw you, he felt himself grow heavy in his slacks. You were everything he needed. And he needed you now.
All The Time - @geminixevans-stan
He is one of the most powerful men on earth but there’s more worse than him (Dark!Lloyd Hansen + Dark!Nick Fowler)
Snack - @katherineswritingsblog
he just wants his snack- which is you.
Watchful Eyes - @espinosaurusrexex
When your best friend gets you a new job, cleaning the apartment of the most successful man in New York City, you don't hesitate to accept. The pay is more than good, and the man himself is better than any eye candy you have ever seen. Unbeknownst to you, you've caught his attention just as much. Steve can't keep his mind off you, so much so, that he drives everyone around him insane with his grumpiness when you aren't around. It seems like he has to take matters into his own hands when he realizes, you're too shy to take things further yourself. (CEO!Steve Rogers)
Cherry On Top - @dcllbows
you’ve found your favorite way to help your daddy with his grownup work. (Ddlg, Daddy!Andy Barber)
Voracious - @arilevinsons
The first time he set eyes on you; you were his sudden infatuation. (DarkProfessor!Ari Levinson)
Best Friend’s Dad - @imyourbratzdoll
you've been pining over your best friend's dad and decide to take your chance, knowing he's out and your best friend is asleep, you be a little bit naughty and touch yourself on his bed, not knowing he's coming home early.
The Breeding Ground - @fl0werfae
To others, Ari’s house was a breeding ground for him and his omega, but to him it was just fulfilling her purpose of carrying his pups. (Alpha!Ari Levinson)
My Sweet Pea - @mavsstar
Mr. Levinson lives right next door to you, the sweet, innocent college girl. Little do you know that you're Mr. Levinson's favorite neighbor. He's there every chance you need the slightest of help, maybe a little too much. (Trailer Park Au)
Like A Movie Scene In The Sweetest Dream - @worksby-d
Johnny’s always been on your “no” list, but you've finally agreed to work with him. (Pornstar!Johnny Storm)
Easy As Pie - @navybrat817
You bake pies for Andy, but you're still his favorite treat.
I've been looking for more Inasa content recently but I can't really find any I haven't already seen, so if anyone has any recs that would be great. Thanks 🙏
(Preferably SFW)
when nobody's watching
summary. after wrapping up late into the night, sunghoon's fairly certain he turned his stream off.
pairing. streamer!sunghoon x y/n ft twitch chat
genre. fluff, twitch streamer au
word count. 1.4k
released. 07.08.2024
author’s note. feedback is appreciated! this is me trying to figure out how to write again because holy shit i've forgotten how to 💔💔 also in case anyone doesn't know: LSF is the r/LivestreamFail subreddit!
masterlist
For the first time in nearly four hours, Sunghoon stands up from the floor. His muscles are tight and sore after sitting on hardwood for so long, causing him to let out a series of quiet grunts as he tries to push himself up. When he’s finally standing again, he dusts his clothes off before his hands find purchase on his hips.
He looks down at his creation. A satisfied sigh leaves his lips.
“Look at that, chat. Isn’t it beautiful?”
pshxo: this guy builds one ikea dresser and thinks he’s The Shit
sunghoonest: bob the builder lookin ass
user190: open ur PO box again king i’m tryna send u djungelskog
Sunghoon watches the racing chat, eyes narrowing. “This guy builds one IKEA dresser and thinks he’s the sh-” he cuts himself off with a scoff, leaning his arm on top of his newly-assembled dresser. “Shut the hell up, it’s not as easy as it looks. Now everyone in chat has to tweet me a video of you building something so I can publicly shame all of you when your backs break.”
f4iry: so violent 💔 i’m snitching on you to ur gf
“Jokes on you, she’s asleep,” Sunghoon retorts. “Besides, she wouldn’t side with any of you, anyway.”
He looks over the space he’s been working in. The typically clean, polished floor of his living room is cluttered with leftover wooden planks and screws of all sizes, along with a jumbled assortment of other things—his film camera, the case where he displays his glasses, old photos from past skating competitions—that’d been brought out when conversation strayed. The thought of having to clean up everything makes him grimace.
With a quick glance at the time, Sunghoon sighs heavily. “Okay, I’m gonna end stream now. I still need to clean all of this up and I can practically feel myself getting arthritis.”
His eyes crinkle into a small smile as the onslaught of objection that comes through the chat, whining, telling him not to leave. “Relax, chat. I’ll still be streaming tomorrow. We’re playing horror games with Heeseung and Jake at four, remember?”
bananaphone: ah yes. thank you for the reminder that tomorrow all the hairs on my head will turn grey
hoonbot: YOU CAN’T LEAVE WHAT IF WE ALL DIE BEFORE FOUR
“You can’t leave, what if we all die before four,” Sunghoon reads out, before walking over to his monitor, snickering. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m sure you will.”
Clicking around his stream window a few times, he gives the camera a wave. “I’m leaving now, okay? Night, chat.” With that, he clicks one last time, exhaling loudly.
The room feels a lot quieter now, despite the fact that he was the only one who was ever actually in it. Cracking his knuckles, Sunghoon slowly settles back onto the floor, starting to organize the screws by type so that he could put them back into the plastic bags later.
Only a few minutes have passed when he hears faint footsteps padding down the hall. The sound makes him look up, gaze flickering to the doorway of the living room just in time for you to appear.
Sunghoon’s eyes instantly soften. You’re rubbing at your eye with the pads of your fingers, cheeks flushed with sleep. The graphic t-shirt and sweatpants that cling to your frame are your own that you leave at his place for convenience, but the black slippers on your feet that are a bit too large for you are evidently his.
“You’re still streaming?” you mumble.
“No, I just ended. What are you doing awake?”
A small, dry laugh. “Couldn’t fall back asleep.”
You plop yourself down onto the couch, taking a throw pillow into your lap. Tracing the ridges of the embroidery while you watch him pile wooden planks into a neat stack. “I was watching your stream originally, you know. I can’t remember when I fell asleep,” you say quietly.
Sunghoon cocks an eyebrow at you. “Are you saying that I’m so boring I made you fall asleep?”
A scoff immediately leaves you. “I didn’t even say anything remotely close to that.”
“You insinuated it.”
“No, it was probably because it took you like, an hour to realize you had the wrong screwdriver, fucking idiot.”
“That—” Sunghoon begins with a click of his tongue, “was not a me problem. Why are there different kinds of screws if they all do the same thing?”
You blow a raspberry at him, before resting your chin on top of the pillow and letting your eyes fall shut.
If you’d kept them open for even a second longer, you’d see the sickeningly fond look on Sunghoon’s face. His movements have slowed down to just short of a halt, all because the only thing he can focus on is the way your head lolls against the pillow and how your eyelashes rest on your cheeks.
As much as Sunghoon enjoys pushing your buttons, he might enjoy just existing with you more—seeing you so serene in his space makes him feel like he's doing something right. Like every decision that's ever weighed heavy on his heart has held some degree of virtue and service because in the end, it led him here.
Comfortable silence falls over the two of you. Sunghoon takes note of the way your breathing grows heavier and slower. He takes care to make as little noise as possible while storing everything away. When the last of his things are put away into a cabinet, he pads over to you.
“Hey, you,” he whispers. Nimble fingers gently card through your hair, lightly scratching at the base of your head. “I’m done. Let’s go to bed.”
Feeling his hand in your hair, your eyes flutter open. You blink a few times before looking straight up into his piercing yet tender gaze.
Sunghoon purses his lips in an attempt to push down a smile. “Come on. I’m not staying here and sleeping with you on the couch. My back already hurts enough.”
A weak grunt of protest slips past your lips, eyes shutting again as you lean your forehead against his abdomen. Sunghoon tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Can’t have my princess losing her beauty sleep, can I?” he coaxes softly.
Rolling your eyes, you punch him in the side, eliciting a small laugh from him. You hold onto his shoulders to push yourself up, knees knocking against his. You’re about to start making your way out of the living room when suddenly, in the corner of your eye, something catches your attention.
A flickering red light, coming from Sunghoon’s monitor. Your eyes narrow at it. “Hoon?”
“Hm?”
“What’s that?”
“What’s what?”
“That.”
Sunghoon’s eyes follow where your finger is pointing, until they land on the red light. At first, he furrows his brows in confusion, unsure of what it is—before it hits him.
“Fuck,” he curses under his breath. Peeling away from you, he rushes to his desk, immediately opening up his Twitch account before letting out a loud, despaired groan. “Oh, fucking hell.”
mroooaaaww: breaking news: local cat drags in literal BOZO
vixpsh: LSF DEBUT LET’S GO 🦅🦅🦅
bulbxsxur: U GUYS HAVEN’T KISSED YET turn back around PRETNED WE AREN’T HERE
“If I see any of you little shits—” Sunghoon points a threatening finger to his webcam. “post any clips on Twitter or Reddit, I will ban you.”
Walking up to him from behind, you turn your phone screen towards him. “Too late,” you drawl. You can’t help the grin that spreads on your lips at the sheer grief on his face while scrolling through your Twitter timeline.
“Hi, chat,” you greet casually, waving at the webcam. “Hope you guys know he’s worse when he’s drunk.”
user000: HI QUEEN
cherryseung: hate happy couples hope twitch bans ur ass 👎
jjongsaeng: y/n pls stream we will all leave sunghoon for you
When you feel Sunghoon bury his face into your shoulder, your body shakes with laughter. “You’re being a little baby,” you tease. “Think about it—would you rather be Heeseung and make it to LSF because you lost your niece at the amusement park?"
He doesn’t respond, but you can feel the barely-there squeeze of your side.
𝓜𝐒. & 𝐌𝐑. 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓 ୨୧ 𝐏𝐒𝐇
(𝓹airing) — psh x fmr ꣑୧ 𝓯renemies to lovers ; fluff, profanity, & lots of kissing (𝔀ordcount) one-thousand five-hundred forty 𝓹eng's note. these pics. #iWantThat 𝓫ookshelf
𝓼ynopsis. seeing your ex in public leads to hiding in a small photobooth with your annoying student council vice president park sunghoon
“you’re late,” sunghoon says in the most agitating voice possible as you walk through the classroom door.
“i wouldn’t be late if you did your job,” you huff, walking right up to the desk he sat at and dropping the bags of decorations you had picked up from the party supplies store.
“hey! i said i would pick those up!” he says annoyed, sifting through everything you brought.
“mrs. kim said we needed them by today! why the fuck were you just sitting around?”
“geez, loosen up,” the boy gets up from his seat, his tall body looming over yours. “let’s just go decorate the gym.”
the two of you split up the bags of party supplies and headed towards the gym where the rest of the council and student volunteers were waiting.
setting up for the fundraiser was easy until you and sunghoon started yelling at each other over which color streamers should be used over the doorway.
jake had to drag you away by the shoulders to come to help him with the balloons. sunghoon felt a bitter taste when he saw jake with his arm around your shoulder but decided to ignore it.
“hoon,” jungwon calls out. “we’re out of balloons!”
“that’s why i should have bought the decorations…” sunghoon mutters under his breath before walking up to where you and jake were giggling.
sunghoon walks up behind you and places a hand on your shoulder. “we have to go back to the store.” he whispers in your ear.
you freeze at his touch but nod and say goodbye to jake. he lets go of you and the two of you walk out the exit leading to the parking lot.
the two of you get into sunghoon’s car and he drives off to the mall.
there’s an awkward silence between the both of you, which you can’t decide if you like bantering with him over it. there’s so much tension due to sunghoon’s lingering touch from earlier.
once inside the mall, you quietly walked side by side into the automatic doors.
only a few feet from the party supplies stores you halt. spotting your ex-boyfriend and old friend seemingly on a date.
“sunghoon,” you whisper, tapping on his shoulder. “do you see what i see?”
he rolls his eyes at you finally breaking the silence but then looks up to see for himself. once he does that the two seem to have had the same idea, making eye contact with the other.
“oh shit they saw us,” he panics, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the photo booth you were conveniently standing next to.
the photo booth is small. way too small. sunghoon is already sitting as you uncomfortably sit on the ledge with your legs peeking out from the curtain.
“get up,” he instructs.
“what?” you raise an eyebrow. “i’m not letting them see me again! especially not with you!”
“i meant like come here,” sunghoon grabs you and settles you on his lap, so the both of you fit into the small space.
“oh my god, what if they come over here!” you panic resting your hands on his shoulders. “this is bad! especially since i’m with you of all people-”
“with me?” sunghoon questions.
“well, like when we were dating, he always thought you had a crush on me, which isn’t impossible! i had to keep reassuring him but he never believed me! like me and you are barely even friends-” you ramble, balling sunghoon’s shirt in your fists as you freak out.
“woah, calm down,” he tells you, prying your hands from his uniform so you don’t wrinkle it. “it’s not like they’ll come to talk to us.”
just as the words left his mouth the sound of two sets of footsteps were picked up by your ears. you started to become overwhelmingly nervous. it was the first time seeing your ex-boyfriend since the split and the fact your childhood best friend was on a date with him.
even if you drifted, shouldn’t she have some sense of girl code?
“you’re shaking,” sunghoon stares at you.
“no i’m not!” you shake your head, your heartbeat being undeniably fast. “but like i haven’t had a date since him and that’s kind of sad for me-”
“i swear i saw her,” the familiar voice of your old friend says, sounding so close. “it could have been anyone though.”
“no, i saw her and that motherfucker,” your ex hisses.
“wow, i’m ‘motherfucker’,” sunghoon whispers, rolling his eyes.
“if he made a move on her i swear.”
“hey, i have an idea,” he says in your ear.
sunghoon reaches for his phone out of his pocket, holding you close as he leans over slightly to pay the machine for a photo. the screen activates after processing his card and he selects a random frame.
the camera starts going and you sit confused as sunghoon starts posing. you can’t help but watch him. he always looks pretty but you must admit he knows how to pose.
you peek over to the curtain to see two pairs of legs standing outside the photo booth. you can only assume it’s them.
“you weren’t looking in any of them,” sunghoon recalls, pressing print on the screen.
“oh, sorry,” you turn your attention back to him.
“it’s fine, let's do another one,” he says nonchalantly as he pays for another photo strip.
this time sunghoon shifts in his spot, making it so that your face can be seen on the screen without having to turn you around in his lap.
you awkwardly copy sunghoon’s poses until by the second to last picture you hear him again.
“that fucker is in the photo booth,” the male voice outside says, seeing as he drops the photo strip back into where it fell from.
“come closer,” he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“fine,” you lean onto him. “but don’t show my face too much. i’m not wearing concealer today.”
“you look just as pretty,” sunghoon leans closer so your lips barely brush the others. “maybe even prettier than usual.”
he brings his thumb to your bottom lip, gently stroking it before closing the gap.
you hate to admit it but kissing sunghoon was everything you expected and more. you’ve caught yourself daydreaming about his lips on yours during one-on-one meetings in the conference room. when his hair is still damp from his after-shower practice and his face is still slightly flushed.
park sunghoon can make you mad, especially when he got secretary over you in freshman year. but you cannot deny that even when bitter about the council's choice you wanted to kiss that proud smile on his face.
he made you mad when he stole your posters when you were running for secretary again the next year. but after he found you crying in the far stairwell he explained he only did that because he thinks you should run for president instead. sunghoon even pulled out another stack of flyers he made for you that he spent the whole night doing.
the sunghoon that got you both kicked out of a council meeting for arguing with each other is the same sunghoon with his lips molded perfectly against yours.
the same boy that had you studying your ass off when class ranks came out, since he’s your only competition, is the same boy in front of you now with his lips locked on yours.
you start to feel dizzy by the decreased amount of air in your lungs by the minute but you can’t bring yourself to let go just yet. when you start seeing black specs dotting your vision you finally pull away to see a heavily panting sunghoon with a flushed face.
“sorry,” sunghoon apologizes as he catches his breath.
your heart sinks. he only kissed you to distract you and probably so your ex will see the photos when they print.
“oh,” you fight the frown threatening to appear on your face. “it’s okay. he’s probably gone now.”
“i would have asked for your permission but you looked really stressed and i thought it would help you get your mind off your asshole ex.”
“thanks,” you say with a pout sunghoon finds adorable.
“you still seem sad,” he pokes at your sides, making you squirm in his hold. “maybe another kiss?”
“maybe,” you say shyly.
sunghoon is out forty dollars by the time you and he are done kissing in the photo booth. he kept mindlessly swiping his card as his lips stayed on yours to prevent anyone from kicking you two out since you were there for a considerable amount of time.
you’re interrupted by sunghoon’s phone ringing profusely.
“where are you two?” jungwon asks in a panic. “we need those balloons.”
“traffic,” sunghoon says as you plant a line of kisses down his neck, hands tangled in the hair at his nape.
“hurry up,” jungwon advises him.
you and sunghoon return to school an hour and a half after you originally left. with a bag of balloons and a stack of photo strips. most of them capturing purely just of you two making out.
when stepping foot in the gym and you go over to hand jungwon the balloons he so desperately needed. he quickly notices the matching hickeys forming on both your necks and how disheveled your uniforms and hair appear.
“traffic huh?” jungwon asks as his eyes flicker between both of you.
"lots," you nod as you walk away to help minjeong tie balloons.
𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓
genre: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff
word count: 4.3k
warnings: cursing, crying, neglect, tiny mention of bleeding
a/n: i think i win the contest of overusing commas with this one 🤍 tbh this fic is just yapping so pls deal with me... it's good to write some proper angst again tho, i missed it :(( hope you guys like it and don't find them too repetetive!!
masterlist
LEE HEESEUNG
It's been two weeks since you got the opportunity to take a proper look at Heeseung. And now as you do, you find it hard to recognize your fiancé who looks like he's about to collapse from exhaustion, to say the least.
“I never asked you to mother me or worry about me so much. Stop getting into my business so much. I’m not a child, YN.”
It’s like he was blind to how hurt his words and actions were making you feel. It’s so unusual for him, so out of character and unfamiliar to you, that you can’t help but think that maybe it really is your fault for riling him up this much.
“I worry about you because I’m your fiancé and I love you, you jerk!” You scoff at his careless words and take a step back, the aching in your heart only increasing. “I only want to look after you because you clearly don't know how to do it yourself. I mean, look at yourself! You look as if you haven’t slept in a week and I know you haven’t been eating either. How can I not worry about you when all you do is neglect yourself?”
“Dunno, maybe find yourself something to keep you busy enough. You stay at home all day, do as much as nothing, no wonder you’re so damn nosy. I would be too with this much time on my hands.”
He’s so indifferent to everything you say, you try to recall where it all started going so wrong. All you did was ask whether he’s eaten at work or not, and now the two of you are snapping at each other as if you weren’t lovers, and trying not to hurt each other was a long forgotten thought by now.
“If you’re so unhappy with our relationship – with me, maybe it’s best we take a break,” you say as you feel your throat tighten painfully.
“Agreed. I never even wanted this marriage in the first place,” he scowls, silencing you, words rolling out of his mouth way quicker than his brain is able to process it.
He bites his words back quickly when he watches your face dropping along with your shoulders, and fuck, you look as if you’ve given up on him right then and there.
You walk away then, tears streaming down your face, muttering something about how ungrateful he was being, and all Heeseung could do was stand still as if plastered to the floor, in utter disbelief of his own, untrue, words.
After his cruel statement echoes through his head for the fourth time, he finally snaps out of the self pity and rushes after you to the kitchen where you’re leaned over the counter, head buried in your hands as you cry.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” he apologizes quickly. He walks up from behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his forehead on your shoulder blade. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry for everything I said, sweetheart.”
He turns you around gently and feels his chest tighten at how fucking sad you look. He never wants to see you like this. He never wants to be the cause of this ever again.
And when he looks to the side, his throat closes and dries completely at the sight of your engagement ring laying on the counter right behind you.
“Are you sure you didn’t mean it?” You ask, wiping the tears away with your hand pointlessly as another stream follows right after. “Things like that don’t come out of nowhere.”
“I didn’t, love, I swear I didn’t. I’m so fucking sorry,” he breathes out, pulling you closer to him by your neck again.
Never again. Never fucking again. He keeps telling himself in his head as he lifts your hand to his lips and presses a kiss to your knuckles, just where your ring was supposed to be sitting snugly. Then he lowers it and places your palm against his chest, right above his heart, and covers your smaller hand with his.
That was too close to losing you, and himself, for that matter. Because he would never recover if you were gone from his life and all because of him.
“Then why did you even say it?” You sob pitifully as you feel the warm tears dripping down the tip of your nose.
“I don’t know,” he shushes you gently, trying his best to not break you any further.
You pull away once you feel calm enough, hands clutching his t-shirt. “It's not too late to call off the wedding, Seung,” you manage out breathily, raising your palm to cup his cheek. “I'd rather not take the step further than have you unhappy.”
“Darling, no.” Heeseung bends down to minimize the distance between the two of you and peppers your face with loving, warm kisses. He just wants to erase those atrocious thoughts out of your mind as quickly as possible. “Please, there's nothing I'd ever want more than to make you my wife. That was stupid of me to say. I'll never be happy if I'm not with you, my love.”
“I just don’t want to force this marriage on you. You need to want it as much as I do, otherwise it’s pointless.”
Heeseung almost chokes on air when he rushes out his answer even before you can properly finish your sentence. “I do want it. Please, you have to believe me.”
“Really?”
Heeseung smiles at you softly as he wipes your wet cheeks with his thumbs. “Really. Scout’s honour.”
You breathe out, feeling relief, and look up at him with squinted, puffy eyes. “Sometimes I just wanna strangle you to death, Lee Heeseung.”
He chuckles lightly before pressing one last kiss to your cheek. “Aren't you just so adorable? You should add this to your wedding vows.”
“Maybe I’ll add this to your eulogy instead if you pull shit like that again.”
Heeseung clicks his tongue with a grin pulling on his lips. “Touché.”
PARK JAY
The atmosphere in the living room is so heavy that your chest starts to hurt. You’re standing barely two steps away from the man you love the most, yet you’ve never felt more far away from him than in this moment.
His eyes – cold but still undoubtedly full of love, drill holes in the side of your head as you turn your face away from him to try and gather your thoughts.
Arguments with Jay were rare. You always tried to work things out immediately, keeping your heads cool. But something has broken over the last month and you can’t see each other eye to eye anymore. At the very beginning of your relationship you made a promise to never go to bed angry. To never leave things unresolved. Yet now Jay’s been sleeping on the couch for the past week, and you fail to understand what the fuck has happened to the two of you.
And you can’t help but think that, maybe, sometimes love is just not enough.
“You’re not even trying to find the middle ground anymore. All you do is snap at me the second I come home. I’m fucking tired of it! Would it hurt to give it a rest for a day?”
The tension is almost palpable. You hate how you can’t seem to back away from any argument but only keep hurting him instead.
“Put effort into our relationship first, then we’ll talk,” you spit out instead, against your better judgment.
“It’s funny coming from you who’s done nothing but put a fucking distance between us!”
“This doesn’t make any sense anymore, Jay. We need some time apart,” you finally speak into the dull silence, eyes casted downwards at the floor as your hand keeps twitching, only to finally grab for your ring finger and slip the silver band off of it. You didn’t think much of your action, hell, you didn’t even process it properly.
Well, not until you hear the shaky exhale leave Jay’s lips.
Silently, he presses his lips together and nods his head before turning on his heel and leaving the room. You listen intently to the shuffling, then ringing of the keys and eventually the door being shut.
A moment of silence turns into minutes of you staring at the ring on your palm with tears burning your eyes mercilessly.
With your heart falling low to your stomach, you drop down on the couch and tug on your hair slightly, cursing yourself for acting so mindlessly.
You wallow in self pity in the dead quiet room. The shiny ring feels so heavy and burning in your clenched fist. You take in a deep breath, then quickly slide the band back onto your finger, feeling instantly shielded with it being on its righteous place again.
And just like that, you spend the next three hours on the verge of losing your sanity. With no word from Jay. He’s left your messages unread. He’s left your calls unanswered.
You don’t know whether he’s okay or hurt or simply gone. All that combined is enough to leave you panicked and terrified, unable to have a second of peace.
You never meant to take it this far. This – your words and rapid actions, that will forever remain as one of your biggest regrets. You don’t like the idea that you made your other half feel like you’ve taken him for granted. Or for what’s worse, like a person that you can use for unloading your frustration on.
There’s this throbbing pain in your chest as you realize that maybe he’s not coming back because why would he if you can’t even love him properly?
Your fingers are bleeding from how hard you’ve been picking on your cuticles.
And then you hear the jingle of keys and soon the front door opens quietly. You know that even after all of this he’s still being careful to not wake you up. It’s killing you how he thinks you’d ever be able to get a wink of sleep without knowing he’s safe.
You’re quick to drop your phone on the couch and shoot up on your legs, rushing over to the door and throwing yourself on Jay’s neck.
“I was so worried about you!” You gasp out, clinging onto your fiancé desperately as tears unknowingly make their way down your cheeks. “Please, don’t ever do that again!”
“Sorry, my phone died,” he replies after a second or two, bringing his arm up to wrap around your waist and keep you close to him.
He’s still upset but he understands where you’re coming from, knowing well that if it was you instead of him he’d probably go insane from worry.
He can feel your heart hammering against his chest, so he lifts his hand and strokes your hair to help you calm down. But then you start crying, feeling his gentle touch even after everything you said, that was enough to push you over the edge. You clench your trembling hands on his sweater as you burst out with choked sobs, slouching against his warm and comforting body.
“I’m sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘m sorry,” you weep into his chest like a mantra and Jay can quite literally feel his heart cracking at your miserable state.
“It’s okay,” he whispers, hot air hitting your ear before he presses a soft kiss to its tip. “Don’t cry anymore, honey. We’re okay.”
“I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve you,” you whimper quietly. “Please, don’t leave me.”
“Don’t say that,” he scolds you with a frown. Your whimpers twist his guts even more than your harsh words from before. “It’s not the first nor the last time we’ll have an argument. It’s not worth losing your pretty head over it, okay?”
“I’m sorry,” you repeat one last time. “I promise I'll never take it off again. I’ll never lash out on you like that ever again too.”
Jay grabs your hand and runs his thumb over the thin silver band, the same one he was picking so carefully for weeks, and a small smile tugs on the corners of his mouth. He hates how shameful you sound.
He’ll never tell you how the sight of you pulling your ring off your finger made him physically sick to his stomach. He can't have you feeling even worse than you already do. So instead he brings you close to him and rests his forehead on yours.
“I’m so stupid,” you whisper quietly as you close your eyes, your heavy eyelashes letting go of another few droplets of crystal tears which Jay’s lips soak up instantly. “I don’t know what I’d do if you actually left.”
“You know me better than to think I’d let us break it off over such a petty fight.” And, yes, you do. But your lip wobbles with silent agony at the sole thought of that. “Hey,” he tries again as he presses a loving kiss to your red nose. “I’m not leaving, okay? How could I ever?”
“I love you.”
With his thumb caressing your burning cheek so tenderly, you feel at peace again.
“I love you too,” he replies without skipping a beat. “No one can handle you as well as I do. And no one sees me for me like you do. We complete each other. We belong together.”
He kisses you silly then, until there’s no more tears left in your body and you’re barely able to breathe anymore. He kisses you until your legs give in and he swoops you up to carry you into your shared bed for the first time in what seems like forever.
He kisses you until it engraves in your mind that there’s no other person for him in this world but you.
SIM JAKE
“Baby, I already apologized.” A groan lingers at the back of his throat but for his own sake he stifles it inside. “I don’t know what else you want me to do.”
You sit on the edge of your shared bed and clench your fingers on the silky duvet. “How about you start showing up to things we both agreed on attending to?”
He runs his hand down his face. “I know. It just slipped my mind, that’s all. You know how busy I’ve been this week.”
“This shouldn’t be my business only, though. I mean, for christ’s sake, it’s our wedding! I would really appreciate it if you participated in something for once!”
Flowers and cake. That’s literally all you’ve asked of him to go and pick with you for the wedding reception. Knowing his tight schedule, you picked the date carefully so that it wouldn’t meddle with his work and you could even go grab some dinner afterwards. But your plans all went out the window when he didn’t even bother showing up or giving you a heads up text, standing you up yet another time when it comes to your wedding preparations.
You’re honestly getting tired of it.
“I’ll be there next time,” he assures you quickly as he nervously taps his fingers on the doorway of your bedroom.
“You said you wouldn’t do that,” your voice wavers as your shoulders drop with resignation. With the back of your hand, you wipe off the tears that made their way down your cheeks. “You promised to help, Jake. But you left me alone with everything, as usual.”
“It’s not even that big of a deal. This can be rescheduled any time. Baby, stop stressin’ so much.”
“But it is a big deal to me!” You cry out, palm reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose. You breathe out heavily. “I don’t want to do everything by myself! We’re supposed to be in this together! If getting married means that I’m gonna be alone with all the responsibilities that you don’t consider important enough, I’m not even sure I still want it.”
To back up your words, your hand moves half-consciously to your ring finger and you twist the cool piece of jewelry in between your fingers.
“No, no, no, no.” Jake moves quickly, nearly tripping over himself as he rushes towards you to desperately clasp your hand in his two and stop you from whatever the hell you were about to do. He drops to his knees in front of the bed, right at your feet. “Baby, you promised you’d never take it off.”
You’re at a loss of words as you look into his wide eyes, the seriousness of your actions only catching up to you now. You gasp quietly, eyes watering just like his, quickly relaxing your tensed hand in his and letting him slide the ring back down your finger, just where it belongs.
Silence envelopes the two of you, besides the sound of your sniffles.
You feel awful.
Jake feels even worse.
Leaning forward, you press your face to his shoulder and melt instantly when he brings a hand to caress your hair.
“I'm sorry,” you whisper, clenching your hand to feel the cool ring against your skin. “I don't know why I did that. I didn't mean to.”
“I know,” he soothes you just as softly. He stands up from the floor and carefully maneuvers the two of you so that you’re placed on his lap as he sits with his back against the headboard. “It's my fault. I'm sorry. I never meant to disregard your feelings like that.”
At the end of the day, both of you would rather set themselves ablaze than watch the other one hurting.
You nod silently, heart pounding in your chest before you bring your arms up and throw them over his neck.
“I’m sorry I was so impulsive.”
“No. You did nothing wrong.” His soothing voice carries over the room, enveloping you with warmth. “I promise I'll be here whenever you want me to from now on. I don’t want you to feel neglected by me, especially now when you’re this stressed over the wedding. I won’t let you down, again.”
“I just need a little help, that’s all,” you mumble tiredly into his skin.
“I know.” His warm lips press to your forehead lovingly. “I’m sorry for being an insensitive douche. It won’t happen again. I’ll take some days off next week, hm?”
The tears on your face dry slowly as your hold on him tightens. “I’d like that a lot.”
“Then it’s done. I'll be all yours and you’ll be all mine then,” he hums and noses at your cheek, finally bringing out a small giggle out of you. After all these years, he still melts at the sound. “I won’t let things get this out of hand again, YN. I promise.”
“Okay,” you whisper. Tilting your head up and bringing his down towards you, you join your lips in a kiss that you’ve been longing for for days. His movements are slow and careful as he tries to soak up as much of the moment as possible.
His kisses slowly put your broken pieces back together. He never knew how much seeing you cry like this would hurt him. And he’ll make damn sure he won’t ever have to experience that again for as long as you're with him.
“If I have a life to spend, it'll only be with you, sweetheart,” he lowers his voice to match yours, cradling your cheek in the palm of his hand. “You're it for me. I'll never give you a chance to doubt that ever again.”
PARK SUNGHOON
“You’re never home! There’s always a hundred things more important to you than spending an hour of your time with me. Your fucking fiance! Are we really about to get married when you’re clearly so tired of me already?”
Your heart pounds in your chest as you finally voice out everything that’s been sitting on your chest for the past month. Things have not been working out well with the two of you, much to your despair. He’s been neglectful, always too busy to help you with anything – even the wedding related things that you should’ve gotten done weeks ago.
And you know that he’s swamped with work and it's not his fault. You understand everything. But to ask him to spare you an hour or two of his day shouldn’t be too much. It shouldn’t make him snap at you unlike what he just did the second he came back home. You slowly begin to lose your hope.
“God, have you always been this needy? Why can’t you accept that I can’t always put you first? No matter how much I’d want to, sometimes I just can’t! Deal with this!”
“Fucking- Fine.”
Your hand moves quicker than your brain, and the next thing you know, your shiny ring is being pulled off your finger and resting in the palm of your other hand.
You can see the disbelief flashing through his face briefly before it completely morphs into a scowl.
“You really think that this will solve the problem?” He asks, eyebrows narrowed as he glowers at you from across the room. “Really? Does that ring mean so little to you that you go and throw it away with any minor inconvenience?”
You try to blink away the frustrated tears, hand raking up to brush your hair away from your face. “No, fuck, I just- I don’t know what to do anymore, Sunghoon. I feel like I’m the only one in this relationship. I need you to give me something more because whatever you’re doing now is not enough for me.”
“Well, I’m putting out everything I have, YN! I love you! If that’s still not good enough for you, then maybe it’s not meant to be.”
The silence that falls in the room doesn’t last long as your sudden sob pierces Sunghoon’s ears quickly, making his stomach drop to the soles of his feet. His heart wrenches and twists as the anger simmers down and evaporates from his body within a second, and he’s quickly coming back to his senses at the sight of you breaking down right in front of him.
“Can’t you just try?” You cry into your hands, shielding your face away from your fiance. “That’s all I’m asking of you. Is it really so hard to try?”
No, it’s not. Sunghoon knows it without a second of thinking. It’s not too hard to try, never if it’s for you. And his throat dries so quickly when he basks in the weight of his words that finally made you break as well.
“You don’t know how much it hurts to feel like you’re too much for your partner,” you wail with a small voice, shoulders trembling and hands quickly getting damp with tears. “You’ll never know how it is to feel unwanted, because you’ll never have to when you're with me. Because I love you, asshole, but now I’m doubting if you’re saying it back just for the sake of it.”
With air getting stuck in his throat, Sunghoon looks at you wide-eyed before quickly crossing the living room and enveloping you in his arms. His warmth wraps around you in what you've always considered to be safety, but now it just makes you cry more.
He finds it hard to breathe. The hesitation in your eyes feels like a stab to his chest.
“Of course I still love you,” he says, voice muffled by your hair.
He hates how he made you feel the opposite. He hates how you’re right and he never had to worry about any reassurement of such kind from your side because you’re just that good to him. And his heart breaks with the realization of how much of a lousy partner he’s been to you when all you ever were was nothing less than perfect.
So he places his hand on the back of your head and presses you even closer to his shoulder as you cry, his own eyes burning with tears at the sound of your sobs and sniffles.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my darling,” he apologizes with a heavy heart, fearful of what’s about to come next. “I didn’t mean to neglect you this much. I could say that I’m tired and the work has been a lot lately, but I know these excuses are not enough to make up for my actions.”
You’re mad and hurt, but you love him and would never want to give up on him, so you wrap your arms around his middle and hold him almost as tight as he holds you, burying your wet face in his chest.
“I love you more than anything, YN.” He pulls away from you only to cup your face and make you look at him. His long fingers wipe away the tears with gentle touch, soothing your stinging skin instantly. “You could never be too much for me. I want all of you. I promise I’ll do better. I’ll love you better.”
And when you’re looking up at him with these shiny eyes of yours, he closes the distance and presses a loving kiss to your swollen lips, hoping to take at least some of the pain away. He doesn’t think he can hold you any tighter. He can’t love you any stronger than right now, and it messes with his head how easily he could’ve had it all ruined only minutes ago.
He’ll never take your love for granted ever again. Because if he did, he’d never be able to pick up the parts of whatever was left of him, and put himself back together ever again.
You can feel his warm hand opening your closed palm before he takes the ring you've been clutching so tightly and holds it in between his fingers.
“Can I put it back on, baby? Please.”
You nod wordlessly while you try to tame your tears. You hold your slightly trembling hand up to him. He takes it, gently, and watches as your bottom lip wobbles while he slides the ring on your finger just like he did months ago.
“I'll never screw up like that again. You have my word for it.”
You sniffle quietly when he kisses you right on the cool band adorning your skin. “You better not, Park Sunghoon.”
His long fingers caress your cheek, wiping the remains of the tears away. “Can you forgive me, darling?”
You don't need to think long of an answer. “You know I can never stay mad at you. Even if you're a idiot, I'll never stop loving you. You have my whole heart, Hoon. Please, don't ever make me regret trusting you with it.”
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© heeliopheelia 2024 // ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. DO NOT copy, translate or repost any of my works on any other social platforms.
໑ৎ ׁ ׅ♡ ALIBI 🌀
︶︶ ˚ ᡴꪫ synopsis — you are known for your brain rot anime content on twitter. so much so that you caught the attention of txt’s soobin on his secret stan account and became mutuals. what will become of this new friendship?
︶︶ ˚ ᡴꪫ pairing — idol!soobin x fem!reader
︶︶ ˚ ᡴꪫ genre — smau, idol au, fluff, prob crack, angst if you squint, comedy (dying as i am writing)
︶︶ ˚ ᡴꪫ featuring — rest of txt, billlie’s tsuki and svt’s hoshi as y/n bestie, enhypen’s park sunghoon as a cameo and more!
︶︶ ˚ ᡴꪫ warning — may contain anime spoilers, swearing/cursing, y/n is a simp for animated men, please ignore time stamps!!!
︶︶ ˚ ᡴꪫ status — ongoing!
︶︶ ˚ ᡴꪫ tag list — please comment to be added to the tag list!
the storyline
o. y/n’s circle — soobin’s circle
i. fan boy mentality
ii. 2024 bingo card
iii. enhypen 1 soobin 0
iv. a tall woman with a fat ass
v. pookie bear
vi. “infatuation”
vii. close the gym
viii. men with dark hair
ix. karma
x. delete his twitter
xi. siri play down bad
xii. tiramisu cake
xiii. bsf approved
xiv. sugar daddy
xv. war is over
xvi. prettiest girl
xvii. friendzoned
xviii. weeb senses were tingling
more to come…
OH MY GODDDDDD
Ambivalent (series)
PART EIGHT
Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Female Reader
Warnings: slight panic attack, language, drama drama drama
Summary: Four weeks at your best friend's cabin in the mountains is just what you need to wind down, but what happens when your ex boyfriend gets thrown in the mix and you're forced to hide your painful past from the one person who understands you?
MASTERPOST
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you but my back was cramping.” Josh whispers as you roll off his arm.
Your eyes stagger open, adjusting to the light glow of the sun through the cheap curtains covering the window above Josh’s bed. You bawl your hands up in fists and rub your eyes, abandoning Josh’s bare torso in the process.
“Fuck, what time is it?” You yawn.
“Only seven-thirty,” he tells you.
His fingers gently rake through your hair, making you fight to keep your eyes open.
“Has Cami been over yet?”
“Yes, and don’t worry, I’ve already told her about our night of animalistic sex.” He jokes.
You grumble and playfully slap his hand away from your hair. “Animalistic is a reach,”
“Ouch. You were much nicer in my dream,”
“Oh, was I?” You smirk, sitting up and crawling over his body until both knees rest on either side of his hips.
Straddling him, you bend at the waist so your bare chest is pressed flush against his. Your lips tease at the skin of his neck, your warm breath tickling him. He immediately reacts to your touch, his cock twitching in his boxers. His hands wrap around your body, his palms exploring the vastness of your back. He attempts to press his lips against yours but you sit up to avoid the contact.
“Gross. I have morning breath.” You tell him, hands trailing across his pecks. “You’ve changed quite a bit,” your hands squeeze his biceps, “like here.”
He licks his lips. “Not much to do when you’re not around. Had to fill the void,”
He sits up, chasing after your lips again. “Josh, I’m serious. I stink!”
“Wanna kiss you,” he coos.
Afraid to put your resilience to the test, you take matters into your own hands and roll off the bed. Grabbing one of Josh’s shirts off the floor, you pull it on over your bare body before slipping out of his room and into the bathroom.
Josh joins you no more than a minute later, still wearing only his boxers, his situation beneath them eased. He stands in the doorway, his arm propped up on the frame as he takes in the view of you wearing only his t-shirt with a mouthful of toothpaste. The corner of his mouth tugs into a playful, yet soft, toothless smile, and when you look at him, your heart skips a beat. You spit out a mouthful of foam before smiling back at him.
“What?”
He only shakes his head and takes a step towards you, grabbing his own toothbrush, his hand falling flat on your hip in the process. “Nothing.”
The two of you stand side-by-side, brushing your teeth in unison. It’s such a mundane task and one you never once deemed to be romantic or meaningful until this moment. But standing here this morning gives you a new perspective on this once boring task. For the first time since coming on this trip, you get a view of what life could have been if you and Josh never split; waking up in each other’s arms and brushing your teeth together. It makes your stomach sizzle and burn, the feeling of regret settling deep in the pit of your stomach.
“Okay, we’re done. Can I kiss you now?”
You laugh, pushing those thoughts to the back of your mind. “Josh, my mouth is full of foamy toothpaste.”
“I don’t care, I want it. Toothpaste and all,”
He grabs your face with both hands and pulls you into a kiss. You immediately taste the minty-freshness of his breath as you lick into his mouth. His lips are wet, as are yours, and welcoming. His mustache is soaked from the water and sits damply just above your top lip. Your hands fall on his waist and you scratch his sides with your fingernails—an action you frequently did to him as a teenager. He sinks deep into the feeling. His hands are damp and the wetness morphs your hair to your face as he retracts from your lips. He stays a few inches from your face, his sweet eyes scanning over your features as his thumb lightly ghosts over your bottom lip. You get the feeling he’s about to say something that definitely should not be said right now, so you swallow thickly and take a step back.
“We should get dressed before anyone walks in,” you advise. “We don’t need that happening again.”
He nods in agreement before leaving you alone in the bathroom. You stare at yourself in the mirror and splash water over your cheeks until the redness of them dissipates.
——
“Just jump in, the waters warm!” Jita shouts at Jake from her position in the water.
Jake stands stubbornly on the dock with a bottle of beer in his hands. His brows are furrowed and he keeps shaking his head back and forth in dismissal of Jita’s request. You tread in the water next to her with Cami on your other side—Danny not too far behind her.
The six of you are enjoying your last week of vacation, secretly dreading the return to civilization. You had prompted to stay another week, but the boys have an album to work on and can’t extend the trip in any form. Josh had told you a few nights ago, his hand slipping into your pants.
You two have yet to talk about everything that has happened in the past few days, but what’s new? Neither of you enjoy confrontation given both of your desperate need to not dig up the past. Even though no words have been shared, you both have a mutual understanding that this is exactly what you want. You’ve spent the last few nights enveloped in each other’s arms, skin to skin, listening to the pace of each other’s heart beats. You’d had sex three times, and each time felt more comfortable than the last. You felt, once again, connected with him, and you’re embarrassed to admit that you haven’t slept this good in five years.
“Come on you big baby! It’s not even cold!” Cami shouts, trying to coax Jake in.
He still stands like a tree rooted into the ground. The door to your cabin shuts and ours comes Josh, towels in hand, ready to swim. He silently approaches Jake from behind, holding a finger to his lips to warn everyone in the water. Jita keeps trying to persuade Jake to jump, the sound of her voice canceling out the sound of Josh’s feet tapping across the wooden deck.
In a split second Jake, and his beer, go wailing through the air, hitting the water with a brutal smack. You shelter your face from the splash of water but don’t hold back on the cackle that releases from your throat. Everyone’s laughing, even Jake once he comes up for air. He turns around to give Josh the bird but he’s bent over laughing so he doesn’t even see it.
“Fuck you all,” Jake tries to remain serious but fails miserably. He wipes water and wet hair away from his face. “You’re all going to hell.”
Jita swims to him and throws her arms around his neck. “Oh, come on. We just wanted to swim with you.”
“I was gonna jump in!” He defends himself. “You didn’t have to take it out on the beer.”
“Yeah right,” Danny snickers. “You’re like a cat, Jake. You were not going to get in.”
You all continue laughing and you’re so distracted by Jake’s fake pissed-off mood that you hardly notice Josh is swimming towards you. He stops behind you, leaving enough room for casualness, and taps on your shoulder. You spin around to face him, happiness still visible on your face.
“We should go for a walk later,”
You raise an eyebrow. “A walk or you fucking me against a tree?”
He nearly lets out a cackle but recovers by clearing his throat. “Whichever you prefer.” He shrugs. “No, I’m serious though. I want to get away with you for a few hours. Think you can schedule me in?”
“I should be asking you that same question Mr. Rockstar.” You’re only teasing but deep down it aches. Your mind races with the idea of returning to regular life.
“Right.” His cheeks redden. “Wanna head out after this?”
“After my shower,” you tell him.
He smirks. “Can you schedule me in for that?”
You roll your eyes, tossing a glance over your shoulder to make sure no one is around. “I’m actually all booked for that. Might have to catch the next one.”
His top row of teeth bite down on his lip and he shakes his head. You watch him swim off to Danny, your eyes glued to the muscles carved into his back.
An hour later, you’re all showered and dressed. You changed into a pair of jean shorts and a plain t-shirt, not daring to risk wearing anything nice. You’ll be with Josh after all.
“Hey, love. You ready?” He shouts from the living room.
“Yeah,” you call after him.
You find Josh tucked away in the kitchen, packing a few bags with healthy snacks and ice cold water bottles. He tosses in a few bottles of ibuprofen, well aware of the headaches that swell in your head after a few dreadful hours in the sun. After tossing in the sunscreen, he zips the pack up and hoists it over his shoulder.
He’s wearing the simplest white tank top and some burnt orange khaki shorts, a burgundy bandana tied around his neck. An old thrifted cap sits on his mess of curls and you’re sure if there’s a gust of wind, it will blow away. Nonetheless, and not to your surprise, he looks as good as ever. His tan sticks out next to the white of his shirt and his muscles, carved and defined, prod at the skin. It takes every ounce of control in your body not to tear the fabric off his body.
You bite your lip as you approach him, your arms immediately wrapping around his neck as you do so. Josh welcomes the affection, connecting your lips quickly as his hands rest on your rib cage.
“You look so granola,” you tell him.
He cocks an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”
“Wow. They really do take away your phones once you become famous.” You tease.
“Yeah, well, I’ve never been much of a technology person.” He tells the truth as he removes his hands from your body.
“So where are we going today?”
He shrugs, opening the front door for you. “Wherever I feel like.”
“That’s reassuring,” you say with a snort.
“Hey,” he tugs on your wrist once you’re off the porch, “I am the best tour guide you have ever had.”
You can’t help but giggle. “Josh, you got us lost for four hours one time.”
The sound of a cabin door creaking open steals both of your attention. Your neck snaps towards the sound, dropping Josh’s hands out of pure fear as you see Cami and Jake appear on the porch. You blink rapidly and wave back to Cami who’s curiously perched against the railing of the deck. She tilts her head, motioning you two to join her for a moment. You and Josh share a brief look of nervousness before walking towards her.
“Hey, you two.” She greets the two of you with a smirk. “Where ya headed?”
“Nowhere—”
“A hike.”
Your words and Josh’s collide, making Cami’s face scrunch in confusion. You narrow your eyes at him but he only stares blankly at you.
“We’re going for a hike,” you finish up, trying to clear the air. “It’s nice out, isn’t it?”
She nods in agreement. “Why didn’t you invite the rest of us?”
From his spot on the chair behind Cami, Jake giggles, only loud enough for you to hear. You were about to send a pair of daggering eyes his way but Josh had beaten you to it.
“We just figured hiking wasn’t your thing,” Josh tells her.
“What? You know I love hikes.”
You get the feeling that the questions won’t stop, so you decide to end it yourself. “Look, Cam. Let’s talk later, yeah?” You huff.
You grab Josh by the backpack and drag him away from the cabin, trying to escape before Cami can somehow scare a few secrets out of the both of you. After a minute or so following the trail that dives deep into the forest behind your cabin, you’re able to breathe steadily again.
You glance at Josh who’s oddly quiet walking next to you. Deciding to give him another minute, you keep steady. The trees around you are a deep and vibrant green, thriving in the warm summer atmosphere. Hundreds of different kinds of grasses line the small dirt cleared path, creating a seemingly magical setting. Scattered pine cones lay randomly placed at your feet, twigs comfortably placed next to them. The sun only peaks through the top of the trees occasionally, the thick leaves acting as a canopy, protecting the life underneath it. You’re quite thankful for it as the sun was rather warm today.
After you’re sure it’s been five minutes without Josh saying anything, you finally speak up. “You okay?”
“Mhm,” he says without so much as even looking at you.
“Josh,” you pry, extremely aware of his sudden cold presence. “Are you mad at me?”
“Well I’m not exactly thrilled that you’re not pleased to be seen with me.” His tone is sharp and snarky.
“I’ve told you a million times. She can’t know.”
He rolls his eyes. “I just don’t get it.”
“I haven’t even told her about us as teenagers yet. How would she handle this?”
“Don’t you think you should figure it out given the circumstances?” He sternly says, his features darkening.
“What circumstances?”
He stops abruptly, causing you to take a few steps forward down the hill before also pausing. You turn to face him, your hands on your hips. His face is twisted like he’s just eaten something bitter and words wait on his tongue like he’s waiting to spit them out.
“What circumstances?” He seemingly mocks you. “The circumstances meaning us practically living together? Us practically dating?”
“You mean the circumstances that are going to change in a week?” Your voice raises. “What’s the fucking point, Josh?”
His jaw clenches at his words but he has no argument to defend himself with. Instead, he swallows thickly and averts his gaze to the trees above him.
You sigh, rubbing your temples. “I don’t want to do this now. I’m sorry,”
“Then when should we do it? We’re going separate ways in a few days, remember? Are you sure you don’t want it to be sooner? If you want, you can take my car back to Nashville, you know, seeing you fucking live there too!” He holds his chin high, his nostrils flared in anger.
His voice cracks and the sound makes your eyes open wide. Josh’s face is red and filled with emotion, his eyes glossed over and he swallows a bubbling lump in his throat. Without hesitation, you step towards him and place your hands on his forearms. He tugs away from your touch for a moment but soon stops, giving into your comfort. Once you take another step closer to him, he drops his head on your shoulder. Your hands work up the smooth skin of his arms, gently rubbing and massaging it in hopes of calming him down. Soon enough, his heart slows and his breathing evens out. His hands fall on your waist for a moment before tapping them, wordlessly telling you he’s okay.
You know Josh doesn’t mean anything he says when he’s upset. He becomes a completely different person when he’s terrified. You cut him slack because secretly, you’re terrified too.
Josh straightens up and you press your chest against his. Your arms wrap around his torso, his around your upper back. His thumb rubs the fabric of your shirt but his grasp on you isn’t tight like it normally is. Your chin is resting on his collarbone and you turn it so your lips press against the damp skin of his neck. Your palm grabs the other side of his neck and cradles him quietly.
“What aren’t you telling me?” You ask.
Your lips, moving against the crook of his neck, makes him suck in a hasty breath. He shudders beneath you, his grip loosening even farther. You mimic his actions, letting him to and stepping back. You leave a hand on his shoulders, keeping the contact. It seems that his once tan face has lost all color and sunk into a light pale shade instead. It makes your stomach squeeze around nothing. You wait for him to say something, anything, but it never comes. Losing the moment, you bring your hand back to your body and wipe a drop of sweat from off your brow.
“Okay, well.” Your voice shakes along with your hands. “Should we continue?”
He nods but his eyes are casted on the ground now. You mess with the hem of your shorts, not sure if you want to continue the hike. At least if you were at the cabin you could lock yourself in your bedroom or something. Here, you’re completely naked and vulnerable with no place to hide. Your heart beats rapidly under your rib cage as your breathing increases. You cross your arms against your breasts and you chew on your fingernails, trying to find the peace inside of you. It’s too awkward right now, and you’re too sensitive to handle really anything at the moment.
As if sensing your blood pressure rising, Josh’s eyes find your face. They scan your features and it doesn’t take long for him to realize you’re nearing panic. He immediately reaches his arm around your frame, pulling you back into his body until you’re trapped between his two arms. Your breathing is heavy and uneven, and you don’t even know why. You hate being this way; so out of control of your emotions.
Just being close to him, being able to focus on the sound of his heart beating in his chest, calms you down immensely. You stay together for no longer than a minute, gathering yourself and cooling down.
“Aren’t we just terrible for each other,” Josh fakes a laugh, attempting to lighten the mood.
You smile against his shirt with a sniffle. “Yeah, but so good too.”
He tilts his head so his cheek is placed on the crown of your head. “I’m sorry for freaking you out.”
You pull away from him just enough to tilt your head and look up at him. He looks all too sweet and soft right now, the gentle glow from the sun igniting his features. “Let’s just go home.”
You catch yourself referring to your shared cabin as home. At first it confuses you; why would your brain consider that home. As you walk back, hand-in-hand with Josh, you understand and agree. He’s there, and he is your home.
——
When you reach the end of the path near the cabin, Josh pauses. His hand, still in yours, loosens enough for you to easily slip yours out of it. You don’t, instead, you hold it tighter, flashing him a reassuring smile in the process. His cheeks pinken.
You climb the stairs together, tugging the front door open. Josh laughs as the door hits the both of you, and you enter the cabin in a fit of giggles. Once you turn to face the living room, you notice Cami and Jake. You and Josh seem to catch them at the same time, both of you freezing in acknowledgment. Your hand stays buried inside Josh’s though, and you don’t dare drop it.
“How was the hike?” Jake asks, his voice timid.
“It was good,” Josh answers, raising a brow at his twin. “What are you two doing here?”
Cami’s standing now, her position stiff and her walls guarded. She wears a deeply pained expression, and given who she’s sitting in front of, you’re expecting the worst. Her eyes bleed into yours and for a second the whole world stops spinning. Josh and Jake disappear, leaving it just you and her. You feel your chest tighten and your mouth open to speak but nothing comes out. Josh lets your hand go, yanking you back to reality. No one has moved or spoken since, and you wonder if it’s been merely seconds or minutes.
“I know.” Cami says, punctuating the words in hopes of clarifying what she’s talking about. She doesn’t even need to, you know exactly what she’s referring to.
@jordie-gvf @dilflover-4ever @lilbitx @gretnavannfleet @dayumclarizzel @takenbythemadness
Currently sobbing and crying and throwing up and dying
We Tried.
a blurb.
pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader (2nd person pov)
tags: ANGST, with a happy ending tho, mentions of alcohol.
CW: pretty much nothing! a fight is alluded to but nothing physical just a verbal fight. alcohol consumption is mentioned as well.
word count: a little over 2k
A/N: i wrote this for pretty much no reason BUT my friend @highriftplains said this is exactly whey they’ve been needing to read.
frankie, this is for you. enjoy.
masterlist | read on ao3
“We gave it a good shot didn’t we?”
Stabbed, right in your gut. Tears prickle at your waterline, you can’t look anywhere but the floor. A mere blissful 13 months ago everything was perfect, no issues, nothing bad, it was pure. Pure and absolute, just like the love you have- or should you say had?
13 was always a number you carried in your heart. Unlucky and taboo, superstition surrounded it, that’s why you liked it. You always thought it brought you good luck when you were younger. I guess it just bit you in the ass, didn’t it?
Jake was a perfect man, the only one you could really stand at the end of the day. And maybe he still is. It’s just a little hard to decide right now.
He sits on the end of the bed, elbows on his knees with his hands clasped together, he rests his chin ontop of them. You can only look at the floor his shoes rest upon.
“We tried.”
Approximately 2 and a half hours beforehand
You and Jake walk into Sam’s house, the creek of the door being your reminder that sound exists after the silent 30 minute drive to your current location. You both put on your best performance smiles, greeting Josh and Daniel in the dining room.
“Hey guys what’s up?” Josh asks the two of you, pushing his chair to the side to give his greetings in the form of embrace. He hugs his twin first, friendly reminder to you that you will always be last place, especially if things go down how you dreadfully think they will.
You hug Josh back as he turns to you, putting on your best face you feel the pit in your stomach for just a bit. A pit that comes with the words “This is the last time, isn’t it?”
Daniel rises from his chair as well, yet not for you nor Jacob. He brings his attention to Samuel, carrying a casserole dish in from the kitchen. “Dan can you go get the plates please,” is all he says, simply ignorant to your presence just now. You watch as he leans over a chair and places the dish in the middle of the glass table with a painfully audible clink. He turns to his left, your eyes meeting. You watch as his eyes go from surprise to concern.
Shit.
You quickly restore the smile on your face and greet him. You both share your greetings as Danny walks back into the room, plates and serving spoons in hand. He focuses on the plates as he sets them down gently. He looks up at you, oddly similar to the way Sam acts, and his eyes light up. “Oh hi!” He walks over as you greet eachother, then bothering to take a seat and prepare for dinner. You look over to where you left the twins. They’re missing from the spot they once inhabited, instead lingering in the hall. You watch, looking at Jacob, his eyes filled with the look only you and Josh know.
You already know damn well what they’re talking about.
You stand up and place you bag on your seat, then excusing yourself, your feet already taking in to the bathroom. You shut the door carefully behind you, you hands resting on the door as you place your forehead against it. Not bothering to listen in- just simply resting due tothe treacherous emotions within.
You don’t even realise how long it’s been before you open your eyes again when you hear a faint “Oh shit dude…” linger in from the dinning room. You know what he’s telling them, how couldn’t he. You can’t even be mad at him either, you’d do the same anyways.
You turn to wash your hands as you finally bother to make your way back to the table.
The reflection in the mirror stares back at you. A smile plastered ontop, the sorrow in your eyes still lingers.
At least you can try.
You walk back to the table, greeted with the smiles of Sam and Danny. Not the twins though, they’re too connected anyways, no point in pretending. You take your spot at the table, directly across from Jake as Josh sits at the head of the table between you. You look into his eyes for the first time in what feels like decades. A small smile washes across his face, this time feeling forced, a first for the both of you.
And so the five of you carry out with your dinner plans as you feel the rift in the room. Sam had made margaritas for the group, to which you all happily oblige, you can never turn down his cocktails, no matter how much you grive for an impending collapse. You then find yourself helping Sam with the dishes as the rest of the group commence the pitiful first attempts at a campfire. The silence between you two is weirdly peaceful, the room only being filled with the sound of the tap and plates clinking together.
Sam stops, abandoning his plate at the bottom of the sink as he turns to you. You respond with a mere “Hm?” as you look back at him, you already know where this is heading.
“Hey,” he pauses for a moment, gathering the right words inside his head. He places a comforting hand ontop of your shoulder.
“You feeling ok?”
“Oh, yeah I’m fine Sam. Don’t worry about me I’m just tired.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
The two of you are interrupted by Daniel opening the back door. “Hey, we got a fire started do you want me to bring out the little cocktail tray you got Sam?”
“Oh yeah that’ll be great thank you! We’ll be out in just a bit,”
The two of your finish your dishes as you then walk out onto the patio. The three guys all sitting around the fire. Daniel, a fresh Guinness in hand, sits next to Josh as Sam takes his spot next to him leaving the last chair next to Jake. You don’t hesitate to sit down physically, mentally you want rip yourself to shreds as you sit next to him.
The night starts to pass by, all of you getting more tipsy by the minute. Jake even bothers to loosen up, seemingly distracting himself by telling a weird story from his childhood shenanigns with Josh. You all decide to turn in for the night making your way to Sam’s living room. Jacob had already decided he was too drunk to drive, and you of course had completley forgotten to stay sober.
You guys had to stay the night in one of the spare rooms.
Great.
You mentally kick yourself in the head as you walk into the guest room, ahead of Jake. You hear the door behind you shut. You hear a sight from Jake as he stumbles inside.
“Oh shit, I’ll be right back I gotta remind Sam of somethin-” Jake cuts himself off. You hear the doorhandle jiggle as he struggles to open it. “What the fuck?” is all he mutters out. You turn back to him to look at whatever the hell he was doing. “What’s wrong?”
You’re suddenly greeted with your answer.
You see the doorknob laying gently in Jake’s hand.
“Guys!” He calls out.
You hear footsteps come walking down the hall. “Yeah? What’s up?” you hear Sam ask.
“Your doorknob just came off in my hand!”
“What?”
“I can’t open the door dude!”
You then hear an audible laugh come from Sam and what sounds like to be Danny accompanying him. “Guys this isn’t funny!” You call out as the duo continue to cackle outside the door. You hear a confused Josh join them. “What the hell is so funny?”
“The doorknob came off in Jake’s hand!”
You listen in horror as Josh joins the laughter. “Guys what the fuck?” Jake calls out, obviously annoyed even more by whatever this sick joke was. “Oh god okay” you hear Sam say as he finally manages to contain his composure. “Oh god, uh well…” he trails off, a moment of silence and dread overcomes the two of you. “It’s ok you guys have a bathroom in there we can try to get you out tomorrow morning.”
“What?” you and Jake exclaim simultaneously.
“Sam this isn’t funny get us out of here.”
“No can do buckaroo! Anyways you guys clearly need it.” he chimes in.
“Goodnight guys!” you hear a Josh call out as the three seemingly abandon you and go to bed.
Fucking hell.
You just stare at Jake’s back as he drops the handle onto the floor, turning around to face you for the first time since dinner. His eyes are tired. Tired in a different kind of way. He seems lost, yet still completely aware of the situation at hand.
“Hey,” is all he says. The only words spoken to eachother within the past 6 or 7 hours. You can only reply the same. You stand up as he walks towards the bed, sitting down on it’s edge. You examine the lone handle pitfully resting on the hardwood floors.
A silence lingers once more for a moment as you place the handle back down on the ground.
“We gave it a good shot didn’t we?”
He sits on the end of the bed, elbows on his knees with his hands clasped together, he rests his chin ontop of them. You can only look at the floor his shoes rest upon.
“We tried.”
You pause, finally looking back up at him. You see his face. His poor, poor, grief stricken face. He just stares at you, like a deer in headlights.
You finally let go, resting you back against the door as you slide yourself down to the floor.
“I still love you.”
“I do too.”
The response takes you by surprise. He didn’t-
No he couldn’t have. He cant just say that after everything that happened yesterday-
He stands up.
He slides down the wall and sits to your right. Silence overtakes you again. Your eyes meet again. You finally realize your cheeks have had tears running down them for the past minute. His are the same.
He bites his lip as he wraps an arm around you, pulling you into his heaving chest. His breath is shaky, no matter how hard he tries to hide it- it’s still there.
You finally let go as he presses a chaste kiss to your head. You cant help but let out a pained anz audible cry into him. He soon follows suit.
The two of you sit there. You don’t even know how long you cry in eachothers arms. A weirdly therapeutic and healing feeling comes from this. But in the end you still manage to look up at him again.
You see Jake.
Not the current him, silently cradling your body.
The old him.
The Jake you first kissed 13 months ago.
“Can we just pretend that nothing ever happened?” he asks, a pitiful smile appearing across his teary cheeks.
“I’d really like that.” is all you respond with. And it’s all that's needed.
You’re in his arms again.
A tighter grip is on you as he hugs you like a man scorned. You grip him too, the emotions becoming all consuming. You can’t help but sob in his arms as he rocks you back and forth in his arms, never wanting to let go.
You simply forget the passage of time there. Simply becoming too tired to cry and dry heave any longer. You finally look up at him, suddenly greeted with his smile. That godforsaken smile.
It’s irresistible. He looks perfect.
You kiss him for the first time in what feels like forever.
You indulge for several minutes, never wanting to leave him. Never wanting to leave eachother.
It’s moments like these where you realize how precious he really is. His love. His compassion. His- well, everything. Everything about him will never fail to knock the wind out of you.
You finally let go of the tension built up in your lips.
“I love you so much.” is all that escapes his lips.
“I love you too.”
A pause lingers in the air.
“I really don’t think I’ll ever be able to leave.” is all you say.
“Me either.”
“We tried.” you laugh out, causing him to break.
“We really did.”
“But some things you gotta learn the hard way, right?”
“Right.”
Let It Be Me - A Jake Blurb
Summary: Grief hits at the most random of times and Jake just needs a little comfort.
Characters: Jake Kiszka x Fem!reader
Warnings: 18+ || Angst. Grief. Crying. Mentions of passed loved one. Fluff. Kissing. Cuddling. (no editing, apologies for any mistakes)
A/N: I wrote this on the anniversary of a couple friends' passing and I just needed to write it out. But to whoever reads this and you may be in the same shoes, I want you to know that grieving is okay and healthy (though it may seem the opposite), and you when you think you have no one to run to, just know that I am here, and you will always have someone to turn to. 🤍
A/N 2: I don't normally do tags for blurbs, so if you see it, you see it 😉
Usually hearing from Jake around this time when he gets home from work, you found it odd when a text never came through. Or even a phone call. So you thought you’d reach yourself. But when your texts go unanswered and your phone calls are sent to his voice message box, you gather up your things and get in your car and drive off to his house.
His car sits in the driveway and you can see the lights are all off in the house. Climbing out of your car, you walk up to the front door and try to twist the knob, only to find it locked. Picking through the few keys on your ring, you find his key and slowly unlock the door before letting yourself in. It was eerily quiet, something that was unusual for him. At the very least he’d have some kind of music playing but there was nothing but silence.
Slipping off your shoes and setting your things on the foyer table, you climb the stairs to the second floor and trudge down the hallway to his bedroom. The door is slightly cracked open and you peer inside to see the form of his body curled up on the bed with the covers drawn over him completely.
Padding quietly over to the bed, you gently sit down by his feet and rest your hand on where his ankle is resting. “Jake?” You only grunt and grumble before he twists his body and pulls his ankle away from you.
“Jake..” You crawl across the bed and sit on the side of him. “Do you want to talk about it?” You can see the blanket move as he shakes his head, followed by a sniffle. “Okay..” I breathe as you shift your body to lay down beside him.
You hadn't realized you had fallen asleep until you woke up finding Jake curled around your body. You can tell that he’s awake when you feel his chest shake as he sniffles, trying to fight off the urge to cry. Turning over to face him, you look up at him and he’s already looking down at you. You give him a small smile as you rest your hand on his cheek. His chin quivers and his eyes gloss over with tears.
“You’re okay..” You whisper.
He shakes his head and you immediately pull him into you as he starts to cry. You still didn't know what was going on or what even happened to prompt this but all that you did know was that he needed comfort and you’d be happy to provide it.
“Just having one of those days?” You ask. You feel him nod his head and you rest your hand against his hair and lightly stroke your fingers through his locks. “I love you..” He didn't answer with any words, just simply squeezed you tighter and kissed your shoulder.
Soon he pulls away and rests against the pillows, his eyes focused on the ceiling. “I was doing fine.. And then something happened that reminded me of him and then it all came crashing back. I’ve been doing okay, or so I thought I was..”
“It’s okay when grief comes and goes. Grief never truly goes away, Jake, but that’s what makes us human–as sucky as that sounds.. It’s still new to you, but eventually it won't hurt as much as time goes on. You’ll be able to see things that remind you of him and instead of feeling heavy, you’ll smile.”
“I just wish it never happened, you know?”
“Oh I know,” You say as you reach your hand over to brush your thumb over his cheek. “There’s a lot of things we wish never happened, but we're only human, we can’t control everything.”
“I don't know what I would do without you,” He says as he turns his head to look at you. “How did you even know to come here?”
“You didn't call or text me like you normally do when you get home from work..”
He smiles, a light chuckle escaping him. “I guess I didn't want to drag you down with me..”
“You can always do that, Jake,” You say as you lean down to kiss his cheek. “You know that I would drop everything to help out.”
“I know you would,” He says. “And that’s what I love about you.”
“That can't be the only thing,” You say, playfully rolling your eyes.
“Did you just roll your eyes at me?”
“Only because you were speaking so absurdly.”
“There's a lot I love about you.” He says as rolls on top of you, his body weight pinning you to the bed. “I love how kind you are,” He says, kissing you. “I love how snarky you can be,” You giggle and he laughs. “I love how you stay by my side even when I don’t want anyone around. I don’t know what I do without you, because you are my person, my best friend, and overall the love of my life. I don't know if I say it often but I’ll try to because I do love you. I’ve lost enough people and I’ve realized that I never told them how often I loved them, but I won't let that happen with you.”
“Whenever you need someone, let it be me.”
He smiles and kisses you again. “And if you're not available?”
“I will always make myself available for you. Through hell or high waters, I will come to you. Even if you just need me to hold your hand, I will be there to do it.” You run a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face and tucking it behind his ear. “Are you busy the rest of the day?” When he shakes his head, you smile. “Want to have a movie marathon?”
“Which movies?”
“Anything you want to watch,” You say. “Even if it’s Lord of The Rings.”
Jake smiles and rolls off you before reaching over to the nightstand and grabbing the remote. He hands it to you before snuggling up against you and resting his head on your shoulder. “You pick,” He says. He drapes his arm over your waist and pushes even closer to your body. “I just want to be here with you.”
AHHHHHHHHH
A New Flavor
Jake Kiszka x Reader (f)
Cw: SMUT including: fingering, oral (m and f) receiving, cum play, overstimulation, light spanking, I guess food-play technically?? Idk you'll see, it's nothing crazy, overall fluff and sweet domesticity
Word Count: 2.5k
“Jakeee, I'm trying to watch the show.”
You giggle as his nose tickles the skin of your neck and his arms wrap around you, cocooning you in your own world as the little spoon on the couch.
“You smell good.” Is his only reply and you can feel his lips curl into a smile as they gently press into your skin, then off with a little ‘pop’.
One of his arms moves to lay across your stomach, sending a shiver up your spine. His pointer finger draws circles in the exposed skin right around your belly button which only tickles more and you squirm away from his touch.
“Just wanna love on you y/n.” He says sleepily with a playful hint to his tone.
You turn to him so that your faces are inches away and you move closer to connect your lips. He hums approvingly as his mouth gently parts. His warm tongue slips past your lips and you move your hips closer to his. You can feel him hardening already.
He uses his hands to push himself up so he can reposition to be hovering over you. You take the new angle as the opportunity to part one leg to the side. He takes the hint and lowers himself so that he can slowly rock into your core.
His hand touches your waist and slides up to your chest. He cups your breast in his hand and squeezes as his soft thrusting begins to pick up. All the while his kissing, passionate but tamed stays steady and sweet like honey. You want to lap it all up.
You can feel yourself growing wetter along with the gradual thump of your heart increasing. You wonder if he feels it too. This energy and how fast it can shift between the two of you. Sometimes it feels like you share a brain, and a heart. The way you can make each other feel, just inside this little apartment, it’s unexplainable… It's magic.
He breaks away just for a moment and you finally open your eyes. He is staring back at you with a lazy smile on his face. His beautiful chestnut hair is ruffleed endearingly and it makes your heart skip a beat.
He’s Jake Kiszka and he’s all yours.
You notice for a moment something you hadn’t before. His mouth moves up and down in a chewing motion. He notices your confusion when he flashes you a toothfull grin, revealing the bit of gum he’s been chewing. You giggle a little and pull him by his collar. He’s obviously caught off guard and laughs before you pull him even closer to connect lips once again.
His body around you feels so right as he makes an effort not to crush you completely, (although you wouldn’t mind), but just adds a little weight. You allow your tongue to push into his mouth and scoop out the gum. You notice that it's hard and plasticy and it’s lost all its flavor, but if you really concentrate, you can taste the faintest flavor of strawberry.
Jake’s hips stop and you whine in protest. Your eyes open to find him smirking above you once more.
“Give me the gum back.”
“Why?”
“Just trust me silly.”
You begin to pick the gum out of your mouth and hand it to him, but he stops you.
“C’mere.”
Realizing what he wants, you kiss him again, slow and meaningful as his tongue licks into your mouth and takes back the gum.
Jake sits back on his knees and his eyes travel down to where you’ve almost soaked through your panties and yoga pants. His eyes are glazed over like a man in love and he looks up for permission. You give him a little nod and his hands tease just above the waistline of your pants. You momentarily close your legs so he can slide off the pants before opening back up again.
He scoots back so he has room to lay down and he brings his face to the inside of your thigh.
“Don’t make a sound.”
His stern face feigns seriousness, and maybe he is a little, but this is his favorite game. See how long you can go before it just feels too good. Before the sounds escape you and you can’t help yourself.
You brace yourself for his touch and when it comes you bite back a moan. His lips latch onto the meat of your thigh as he sucks in a mark. His other hand massages the opposite thigh moving up slowly.
The rough pads of his fingertips feel so good against your soft skin, and you want to show him how good it really feels, but to entertain the game, you don’t make a sound.
His sloppy kisses trail up until they land right at the top of your panties. In a move that only slightly embarsasses you, he breathes in your scent and his eyes roll back.
“Y/n.” Is all he whines, sounding almost in pain.
His hands come up and not so gently pull the pink lace to the side. He can’t be bothered to remove them, he needs to taste you. Now.
With no warning his lips attach to your throbbing clit and you almost scream, but your teeth sinking into your bottom lip help muffle the sound. He shoots you a glance as if to say I know you want to moan for me.
His eyes roll back again and a low hum escapes his lips, vibrating around you, making your hips buck up into his kiss.
“Hey why do you get to do that?” You tease.
His only response is a smile as his lips trail down to your entrance. His tongue, hot and soft delves inside you, curling upward as your legs close around his face. Your head falls back into the cushion as another moan is bitten back.
You realize how hard you’ve been biting down on your lip when you taste blood, and you quickly release your lip to instead grab fistfuls of his hair. He whines into your cunt with every tug, and you switch between stroking his hair to pulling just to hear the delicious sounds it evokes from him.
His tongue continues to work at you, licking and sucking, getting sloppier by the second. You can feel yourself getting wetter, and when he breaks away to look at you, you can see his face shining with you in the light.
“You look pretty Jacob.” You sigh, completely entranced by him.
“Pretty? Jacob?” He cocks a brow and smiles again.
You shrug and a small moan escapes you before you can hold it back when he delves back into you. He immediately stops and his hand comes down to smack your center. You cry out again and he delivers another slap making your legs tighten around his head. You can hear how wet you are just by his touch, and he pushes your legs back apart as his fingers trail down to your entrance and two are roughly shoved inside.
“Fuckk.”
He looks up suspiciously.
“Hey, that doesn't count!!” You reason.
“You really can’t ever shut up Y/n.” He shakes his head, but smiles to himself. You know he loves you.
“You love me so bad.”
“Yeah I do.”
His mouth latches back onto your clit, suctioning it while his tongue slowly licks over it. This paired with his thick fingers stretching you and curling makes your eyes roll back, and for a second you can’t even find your words. When they do come out, they're breathy and desperate sounding in a way that makes his dick throb.
“Show me, show me how much Jake.”
His fingers pick up now, his whole hand pushing in and out while his fingers tuck into you, hitting that perfect spot that makes you wanna scream his name. You clasp your hand over your mouth when his teeth ghost over your aching clit, biting softly then licking over you while his whole tongue. It feels so warm against you, and soft, and wet, and you can feel yourself becoming undone.
You look down to watch him for a moment. He looks stunning. His hair is beginning to stick to his forehead with sweat, his eyes are shut tight, and brows furrowed in concentration, and you notice that his hips are slowly rocking into the couch, seeking their own friction.
It’s hard to explain, but there's something so attractive about a man putting your needs first. The fact that he's more than willing, enthusiastic, to eat you out on the couch instead of fucking you. You imagine his dick is bursting out of his pants, desperate to feel you clenched around him, but instead his tongue laps over you while his fingers work away inside.
You reposition your grip on his hair and he moans into you, sending vibrations straight through you. You pull him even closer, and he takes that as a cue to go even faster. His tongue is flicking over you up and down, side to side, everywhere, sloppily, hungrily getting you closer. You can tell he’s out of breath too, and he seems to be lost at this moment.
“Jake…” You gasp, feeling like you're unable to get air. “I’m gonna fucking cum, please, please… I’m so fucking close.”
His motions stop for just a second so he can come up for air and spit out, “You can make noise now.” Before diving back into you.
You let out a breath that sounds more like a whine, and as his fingers move faster, you allow yourself to moan his name. He seems to like that because his own hips are moving faster, chasing his own release. You say it again, slowly, drawn out, and loud.
“You’re so good Jake.” You’re cut off by a whine when he sucks your clit harshly. “So so so so fucking good. All mine.”
Your legs are moving slowly now, all the pent up energy is making your whole body unable to stay still. You can feel yourself right on the edge, waiting for that moment that you’ll break. You feel on fire and every second brings you closer to burning up.
He removes his fingers and you whine in protest, but he quickly replaces them with his mouth. He laps up your arousal, audibly sucking it into his mouth, and maybe you should be embarrassed, but the way his hips momentarily falter, and a whine is drawn from his lips tells you that he fucking loves it.
The pads of his fingers quickly come up to draw circles around your clit as his tongue fucks into you. You try to keep your thighs from squeezing his head as he continues to work away at you. He lets out a grunt as his hips pick up the pace.
His eyes open to meet yours and his brows are tilted up in pleasure. His eyes roll back and a low growl tumbles out of him as his hips thrust one, two more times. Then they stop, and his eyes return to yours, this time determined.
His fingers move even faster and in seconds you feel yourself finally coming undone. Your legs thrash around his face, trapping him as his tongue still moves inside you. Your head tilts back into the cushion and you hear yourself, far away groaning and whining his name, along with other incoherent curses that make his dick twitch.
His tongue laps up your release until you feel overstimulation start to take over. Your whines become sporadic and your legs shake and hands come to his head to try and push him away. But the look on his face tells you there's no stopping now.
His tongue laps up every last drop of you, his fingers still tracing tight circles over your clit.
“Jake, fuck fuck, please please, it’s too much…”
Another moan of his name is pulled from your open mouth and finally his fingers slow and his mouth pulls off of you. His eyes travel to your thighs, shaking involuntarily and pussy still pulsing. He gently runs his fingers up your thigh, making them shake even more under his touch. He leans in to kiss your sensitive clit which makes you clench around nothing.
Your chest rises and falls heavily as your body begins to return to normal. He sits up and he too breathes heavily. His eyes meet yours as he slowly, and purposefully brings his fingers to his mouth to lick up every last drop of you. You bite your bottom lip between your teeth, trying not to moan again.
He puts his hands out to stalk closer to you before tilting up your chin so he can meet you in a kiss. It's slow, and breathy and you can feel how warm his mouth is. He breaks away to hover over you, just breathing slowly. His tongue licks a tantalizingly slow line from your bottom lip into your mouth. You meet his lips again and you both whine into each other before pulling away with a giggle.
He sits back on his knees smirking, like he knows something you don’t. And it doesn’t take long before your cheeks burn brightly.
The gum is now in your mouth and you run your tongue along it. It tastes like you.
“How is it baby?” He asks, smile growing wider as you chew.
Instead of answering, you stand to your own knees and walk closer. He watches curiously as you curl your fingers into the waistband of his sweatpants. His breath hitches as you pull them down slowly, leaving him in just his boxers. There's a little wet spot where poor baby Jakey came in his pants, just so he could make you cum with his mouth. You pout up at him and cup your hand around him and look up as he slowly rocks his hips into your touch, lip between his teeth.
You grab his hand and pull him to the side so he steps off the couch and stands in front of you. Now that you’re at eye level with his crotch, you pull down the boxers and find the cum covering his length. You slowly lean forward and wrap your lips around the tip. He hisses and weaves his hand through your hair. You slowly lick around it, gathering up his release with your soft tongue.
A low fuck escapes his lips as you clean him up inch by inch, making sure to gather every last drop. When you’re done, you step off the couch to stand in front of him. His hands instinctively grab your waist, pulling you flush against him as you meet his lips for a kiss.
Your hands wrap around his shoulders as he kisses you sensually once more. You tilt your head when he tilts yours so that your mouths meet perfectly. Your eyes are closed and you hum into his mouth, making sure to transfer the gum back to him.
He pulls away knowingly and smirks as he looks down into your eyes.
“What?” You ask innocently, a small smile on your face.
“Nothing, it tastes like us.”
.
.
.
New Fic Rec Blog
Hiiii everyone i’m M and after years of reading fics on here I decided to share some of my favs and new favs as I continue reading. There probably won’t be a very in depth sorting system until a while later, but I’m going to start by reblogging all my favs. I’ll be so real this is 100% just so I can have them all in one spot and is very much just for me, but might as well share!
It’ll mainly be BTS and got7 fics with a few from my different interests here or there. Hope this helps you find your next fav!
-M
This fic made me actively seek out angst because it displays how beautifully the genre can be written. This fic is phenomenal as a stand alone, but if you fall in love with it (not if. When. You will fall in love) it’s part of a bigger over-arching series that I haven’t read yet but WILL be reading in the very very near future
close call | myg x reader
🎵 summary: burying your head in the sand won't change the fact that the man you love walks a thin line between life and death. and sometimes you can't outrun your worst fears.
🎵 pairing: reader x mafia!yoongi
🎵 rating: mature, 18+, a wee bit self-indulgent
🎵 genre: smut, mafia AU, guarded AU drabble though it can be read as a standalone story
🎵 warnings: smut with feelings (of course) angst, a lot of angst, super angsty you have been warned this is a veritable angst buffet
🎵 word count: 4.5K
🎵 notes: so, uh...long time no see? phew fam, these past 4-5 months have been really tough for me from a writing standpoint. i've probably written and deleted hundreds of thousands of words and just felt really out of touch with my writing voice. why am i telling you this? because therapy is expensive and because even though i struggled, i did manage to push through it and that makes me feel really hopeful about a light at the end of the tunnel where this writing block is concerned. i'd love to hear from you if you like this and thank you guys always for hanging with me 💕
i borrowed these people's beautiful eyeballs and brains on this fic and i owe them all a debt of gratitude: @hobi-gif @thatlongspringnight @illneverrecover @miscelunaaa thank you all for being rad people and writers.
You hear music the moment you step off the elevator.
The sound drifts down the long stretch of hallway before you, echoing off the walls and then diffusing into the soft carpet beneath your feet. It gets louder with each step you take towards the apartment, swelling higher as you near the heavy steel door.
The sound makes you frown.
It’s dark and melancholic. The cadence is sloppy and the notes bleed into one another like muddled watercolor paints. There is no real melody to speak of, no cohesive thought binding the chords together. They hang in the air overhead like a line of mismatched laundry.
It doesn’t sound anything like the beautiful music Yoongi makes when he sits down at his piano. The lovely, lilting melodies he pulls from the instrument after you’ve both slept in and made love on Sunday afternoons.
That observation alone is enough to give you pause about what awaits you on the other side of that steel door. Never mind that it’s three o’clock in the fucking morning.
You take a deep breath and slide your key into the lock.
Behind the heavy door, your apartment is shrouded in blackness.
In the dark, the couches and lamps and artwork are reduced to rudimentary shapes and outlines. You drop your bag and coat on the table in the foyer, peering into nothingness until your eyes slowly adjust.
Until the man you love finally takes shape.
Yoongi is hunched over his piano, dark hair falling into his face as one hand pounds carelessly away at the keys. The instrument produces a series of sounds so mournful they make goosebumps bloom up the line of your back. Slivers of moonlight slip between the gaps in the curtains, casting shadows across his silhouette.
You take a few cautious steps closer and the finer details start to come into focus.
The rocks glass gripped tight in his free hand. The papers strewn haphazardly across the piano’s lid. All around him the air seems unsettled, crackling with a dangerous energy that makes the hairs at the nape of your neck stand on end.
Then music comes to an abrupt stop.
“I waited up for you.”
He speaks without so much as a glance in your direction, the sound of his voice strangely foreign. There’s a hollow quality to it you haven’t heard before, some peculiar disconnect between the words and the man speaking them.
“I see that,” you say slowly, stepping closer. “Did you want the neighbors to wait up for me, too?”
Yoongi doesn’t laugh at your jab. Doesn’t do or say anything at all, just continues staring down at the keys.
Your heart starts to pound a bit faster.
You close the distance that remains and slide into the empty space beside him, close enough now to breathe him in. Close enough to make out the scent of his damp hair, the spice of the aftershave clinging to his skin. Close enough to smell the whiskey he exhales with every heavy breath.
“Sorry,” he mutters. “Guess I’m a little fucked up.”
Guess so. You could count the number of times you’ve seen Yoongi drunk on one hand and you’ve never seen him drunk like this. Like he’s trying to drink himself numb. Like he’s trying to drink himself to blackout.
“It’s okay,” you lie, as if anything about this scene you’ve walked into is okay. “Happens to the best of us sometimes.” You reach a hand out to brush the hair away from his eyes, breath catching in your throat when he turns to face you.
He looks like he’s been to hell and back tonight.
Eyes haunted and skin pallid but for the ruddy whiskey flush across his nose and cheeks. He holds your gaze for only a few heartbeats before looking away. Like he’s embarrassed to be in this state. Like he’s embarrassed for you to see him this way.
Worry immediately climbs up your throat and threatens to claw its way out of your mouth, but you take a deep breath and force it back down. You stroke your fingers across Yoongi’s brow, sweep them over the curve of his jaw. He leans into the touch and catches your hand with his, turning his face to press a soft kiss to your fingertips.
“Yoongi, did – did something happen to you tonight?”
Your stomach twists at the pained expression that comes over him, at the way his eyes fall shut like he’s trying to push away a terrible thought. His grip on your hand tightens and so does your chest.
“Yoongi?”
“Listen, Doc,” he breathes, “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
That awful twisting in your stomach sharpens. If you hadn’t known something was wrong – horribly wrong – before this very moment, you certainly know it now. You watch with your heart in your throat as Yoongi sets his whiskey down to reach for the papers strewn across the top of the piano. He presses them into your hands and you stare down at them, afraid to look too closely at the fine print.
“Look at me,” he commands quietly, and you immediately snap your eyes up to meet his. “This is important. This is everything. My accounts, the investments. This apartment and two properties in Daegu. It’s all here.”
The room goes quiet as Yoongi gives you a moment to absorb his words. As the meaning in them slowly begins to crystallize inside your brain. He watches the realization wash over you with a troubling calm, completely composed as you begin to stare back at him in wide-eyed horror.
“If anything happens to me, you take this money and you get the hell out of Seoul,” he continues evenly, as though the two of you are discussing dinner plans or something equally as innocuous. “You buy a house on Jeju and you spend the rest of your life working on your tan. Do whatever you want with it. But it’s all yours.”
Now you think you might be sick.
“Tell me what is going on.” Your voice comes out brittle as spun sugar, barely audible over the heartbeat now pounding violently in your ears. “You can’t just come home and say – ”
“The first thing you do is go to Namjoon. He can walk you through everything. He has copies of –”
“Yoongi, please –”
“Hoseok has copies, too. Just as a backup,” he keeps talking like he can’t hear you at all, undeterred by your rising panic. “They can have cash to you that same day if you’re strapped. Plus the rentals in Daegu have –”
“Yoongi, listen to me – ”
“So it’s not like it’s a finite amount of money. There will be more coming in every –”
“Stop!” You’re shouting now, barely able to think around the noise in your head. “What – what the hell is wrong with you?”
You stare at him in utter disbelief at how easily these words seem to come to him. By how unaffected he seems to be while speaking your worst fears out loud. It has to be the whiskey that’s making him like this. It has to be the reason he can sit here and calmly lay out a blueprint for his death while you’re falling apart in slow-motion.
But he’s not calm anymore, is he? Not now. Not if the spark of anger that lights behind his eyes is any indication. Your outburst seems to have jarred Yoongi out of whatever bizarre state you found him in. Now the set of his jaw is hard. Now his dark eyes bore into yours, the intensity in them unnerving.
“Let’s just talk about this in the morning.” You swallow thickly and add,“You’re drunk and I’m exhausted and – ”
“We’re going to talk about this now,” Yoongi interrupts, in a tone so cold and flat it makes you shiver. “We’re done tiptoeing around the shit that makes us uncomfortable, Doc. We’re not doing that anymore.”
Tears sting at the corners of your eyes.
“I’m done letting you pretend that this situation is normal. Because it isn’t. You need to get it through your head that every single time I walk out that door there’s a good chance I might not come back.”
He could have slapped you and it would hurt less.
It doesn’t matter that he’s right – about the way you lie to yourself about the risks he’s taking. About the way you don’t allow your mind to dwell on what he’s doing when you wake up and he’s not there. It doesn’t matter that he’s right about the hundreds of ways you’ve come up with to avoid the uncomfortable truth. It still hurts like hell to hear him spell it out so plainly.
“This money – ” Yoongi pauses to drag a hand over his face, “ – This money is the one fucking thing I can do for you if I’m not here, Doc.”
You let your eyes fall to the papers in your hands, the fine print you’d barely been able to see just a few minutes before now painfully clear. Line after line after line of numbers – numbers so long you’re afraid to acknowledge where they begin and where they end. Numbers so long they seem ludicrous. You don’t even know where to begin wrapping your mind around this kind of wealth.
And it means nothing to you. Not without him.
Tears start to fall against your will. Angry tears you try to hide but Yoongi sees them anyway. He reaches for you, tipping your chin up with his fingers and swiping at your cheeks with one calloused thumb.
You sit there with watery eyes and a battered heart and watch as the change comes over him. As the fire in him dies out and the frustration slowly drains from his features. He strokes your face until the storm behind his eyes ebbs away completely, leaving only remorse. Regret.
“God, I’m sorry, Doc,” he breathes, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’m so, so sorry.” He presses kisses to the bridge of your nose, your wet lashes, your hair. “I’m such an asshole, God, I’m so sorry.”
You don’t say anything. Not until you’re sure you’re not crying anymore, not trembling anymore. You wait until you feel strong enough to use your voice without falling apart all over again and then pull away to look him in the eye.
“Why are you so angry, Yoongi?” You dab at your damp cheeks with one sleeve and straighten your spine, lift your chin. “Why are you so angry with me?”
Yoongi exhales deeply as he takes the papers out of your hands and wraps his arms around you. He pulls you in close, close enough to feel the way his heart is hammering inside his chest. Close enough to feel the way his throat works as he swallows over and over and over again before he speaks.
“I’m not angry, Doc,” he says after a while, voice thick with emotion. “I’m afraid.”
He’s passed out by the time you get out of the shower, face pressed deep into his pillow.
You dig in his drawer until you find his oldest, softest t-shirt – the one with the hole in the neck – and then you slip it on. You slide beneath the covers and press yourself to him; bury your face into his back. He doesn’t stir.
I’m afraid.
Yoongi’s words echo in your mind as you lie there in the dark praying for sleep to take you. You think about all of the horrible shit he’s confessed to you after a hard night, all the truly terrifying shit you’d only gotten wind of after a night of beers with one of the loose-lipped maknaes. Not once has Yoongi ever uttered those words to you.
Not once has he ever admitted to being afraid.
You lie there in the dark and try not to think about what that means. Try not to run down the list of terrible possibilities, one by one. You lie there for what feels like forever, certain that sleep will never come.
But eventually, it does.
You wake to the sound of the shower running.
A quick pass of your palm over the sheets beside you finds them still warm, so you slide over a bit – burrowing into that part of the bed that still smells like him. You lie there and listen to the water fall until you can finally summon the will to move.
Your hair is wild this morning on account of sleeping on it wet. It mocks you from the mirror as you brush your teeth, as you comb through it with your fingers, trying to tame the flyaway strands. Yoongi’s worn t-shirt skims the tops of your legs, the soft, tattered edges brushing against your thighs.
This is how he finds you when he opens the bathroom door – dressed in his ragged hand-me-downs, hair chaotic, a mouthful of fluoride foam. He stops to lean in the threshold and your eyes rake over the beads of water still clinging to his skin, the towel slung perilously low on his lean hips.
“Hey.”
Steam billows out from the open bathroom door and Yoongi shoves a hand into his wet hair, brushing back the curtain of dark strands that fall into his eyes. They tumble right back into place, disobedient. You spit and rinse.
“Hey yourself,” you reply slowly, unsure of where he’s landed this morning after all the emotion of last night. Probably a bit unsure of where you’ve landed, too. “How are you feeling?”
“Not as bad as I probably should,” he admits, rubbing at the back of his neck.
He steps closer and you force yourself not to look down, not to be distracted in any way by the dusting of hair that starts low on his abdomen and disappears beneath the terry cloth knot. You can feel the heat radiating off his skin, but fight the instinct to curl into it.
“I’m sorry about last night, Doc,” he says quietly. His eyes are clearer this morning, but the sadness still lingers. “I was way out of line.”
You shrug, toeing at a non-existent spot on the gleaming marble. “Yeah.”
“I shouldn’t have ambushed you like that,” he says. “I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“I know.”
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for a long time and – I think I just kind of lost my shit. I should have done better.”
He cups your face in his hand and tilts your chin up, compelling you to look him in the eye.You find his gaze turbulent – some strange mix of contrition, arousal. Fear.
“Last night – ” he stops to blow out a heavy breath, “ – Was a shitshow, Doc. Hoseok was two steps away from taking a slug straight to the head. Everyone was shooting. It was fucking chaos.”
Suddenly it feels as though you’ve swallowed a spoonful of sand.
“But he’s, okay? Right? He’s not – ”
“No, he’s not,” Yoongi breaks in, saving you from having to voice the rest of that thought out loud. He drags the rough pad of his thumb over your bottom lip. “He’s okay.”
“What about the others?”
“They’re okay, too.”
“What about you?”
Yoongi’s entire body tenses at that question. His hand drops away from your face and the muscles in his shoulders and arms stiffen as he takes a half-step back. He sucks in a breath so sharp you nearly hold your own in response.
“I’m not going to push you,” you explain, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind your ear. “If you’re not ready to talk about it, you’re not ready. But if you tell me you’re afraid, then I’m going to ask you why, Yoongi. You have to know that.”
Yoongi drags a hand down his face, the tips of his ears pinking as a flush branches across his chest, his neck. You can’t help but feel like you’ve embarrassed him and the guilt is instantaneous, sinking in your stomach like a stone.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “Really. We don’t have to do this right now. I can give you some space.”
You turn to make good on your promise, but you don’t get far. Yoongi catches your wrist with one hand, pulling you back to him with a firm grasp. “Don’t go,” he insists, dark eyes pleading.
“Then I won’t,” you promise. “Tell me what you need and I will do it, Yoongi. I swear it.”
He nods slowly, chest rising and falling with the series of steadying breaths he takes before he speaks.
“I went a really long time without anything to lose,” he starts. “It never mattered if I was out in the streets taking stupid risks every night because the only person who ever counted on me is me. Now all I can think about is you. What’s going to happen to you if I fuck up out there and get myself killed.”
“Then don’t get yourself killed.”
The words come out strained, despite your best attempt to make them sound lighthearted.
“It’s more than just that, Doc,” he persists, tongue slipping out to wet his lips. “Sometimes I worry that there will come a day when you wake up and decide this is too much for you. That it’s not what you signed up for.”
Your heart seizes painfully inside your chest. “No.” You shake your head vehemently, rejecting the notion with your entire body. “I won’t. I couldn’t.”
“The truth is that I can’t remember how I used to process all this bullshit before you. Now I think I have no idea how to do it without you. And that’s – ” He trails off, letting the thought hang in the air.
“Scary,” you murmur.
“Terrifying,” he corrects.
“Look at me, Yoongi,” you insist, stopping to swallow past the tightness in your throat. “I know what I signed up for. I know who you are. And I don’t want anyone or anything else. I’m not going anywhere.”
He takes you off balance with his kiss. It’s frantic, frenzied – tongue in your mouth, lips at your ear, teeth at your pulse point. You gasp when he crushes his towel-clad hips to yours, the swollen outline of his cock already growing against your belly.
“I love you so fucking much, Doc.”
Yoongi growls the words into your mouth, blunt fingertips digging into the rounded curves of your ass. You free your hands long enough to tug at the towel around his hips until it falls away, snaking your fingers between your bodies to seek him out. Yoongi hisses when you wrap your warm palm around his cock, grip tight as you stroke him from base to tip.
“I need you, Yoongi. Right now.” You whisper the admission against the corner of his mouth, one hand guiding his cock to the juncture of your thighs. He shudders when he realizes you’re bare beneath his old, thin t-shirt, as you slide the length of him against the slippery heat that’s already pooling between your legs.
“So fucking wet already,” he gasps, the muscles of his stomach straining when you rock against him, slicking him with the moisture between your thighs. He shoves impatiently at the hem of your t-shirt, swearing under his breath as he tears it over your head without a single care for its fragile state. Then he tongues at both your nipples, gets them messy and wet before taking one of them between his teeth.
You whine at the drag of his tongue, at the rough way he toys with it until the peak is stiff and throbbing in his mouth. His hips rock faster against yours, cock now gliding easily through your wetness. Your inner thighs are slick with it and when Yoongi takes your other nipple into his mouth you can feel yourself grow even wetter.
You dig your hands into his damp hair.
“Yoongi, oh god, yes – ” you gasp, when he adjusts the angle of his slide so that he’s stroking against your clit. He likes the praise, he always has – and he drives closer, harder, just to hear you gasp again.
“I gotta get inside of you,” he mutters, cock twitching when your hands find and squeeze the muscles of his lean ass. “Right now, before I come like this.”
You release him from the vice grip of your thighs and turn around for him, pressing your palms flat to the counter. In the mirror, you watch as he runs one appreciative hand down the slope of your back. His fingers linger on the curve of your ass for a moment before he slides them lower, slipping two fingers inside of you.
Your hips jolt at the friction and Yoongi swears under his breath again.
In front of you, Yoongi’s reflection looks serious, brows knit in concentration as he slowly fucks you with his fingers. A flush spreads across his chest and up his neck as he works you, one hand pressed into the small of your back while his other hand stays buried inside your cunt.
“Yoongi,” you beg, arching your back to push harder against the heel of his hand, “Please just fuck me already.”
He chuckles darkly, slipping his fingers out of you. Then the slick sounds begin. You watch him in the mirror as he strokes his cock, jerking roughly at the blunt head before he’s pressing it to your entrance.
Then he’s pushing forward, sinking that first thick inch and your body gives way with little resistance. You’re so wet he buries himself to the hilt with one fluid thrust.
“Oh, fuck,” he groans, pulling out all the way to the tip and burying himself again. “Shit, that’s so fucking good.”
He experiments with that same stroke a few times, reveling in the way your whimper each time he bottoms out. But he needs more, you need more, and after a while he abandons the slow, torturous pace and sets to fucking you with determination.
Your fingertips go as white as the bathroom counter.
He knows your body well by now, can bring you to the brink and back with just a few expert touches. The force of his thrusts makes you fold over and he uses the angle to his advantage, one hand gripping your ass tight as he fucks you and the other reaching for your clit. The combination of both touches has your legs shaking, the sound of his ragged panting sending a sharp spike of arousal directly to your core.
“Come for me,” he says from between clenched teeth. “You’re right there. I can feel it.”
He bends down to scrape his teeth against the back of your neck, his strokes becoming more erratic with each thrust. And you arch harder into the press of his fingers. Then you are coming, so damn hard your arms give out and you collapse against the counter, body pliant and weak.
Yoongi rides out his own release only a heartbeat later. Between his heavy breaths, you hear him say your name.
Your real name.
The human body is a remarkable thing.
It’s incredibly resilient; capable of withstanding terrible trauma. Designed to mend muscle, seal skin and fuse bone.
The scar that sits just below Yoongi’s clavicle is well-healed by now, barely visible at a distance. But you can feel it – what little evidence remains of both crisis and cure. You run a fingertip over the raised skin and marvel at the tiny dips and dents that live just above and just below the surface. Perfect in its imperfection.
Yoongi cracks one eye open to steal a look at you, quiet as he watches you absentmindedly map the faint line of his scar. The shower steam has evaporated now, leaving a chill lingering in the air. He draws the sheets draped around you both a bit tighter.
“This give you any trouble lately?” you ask.
“Nah. I noticed it a bit last week when it rained, but it hasn’t bothered me much since then.”
That’s another thing about the body. It forgives, but it doesn’t always forget. Pain can simmer just beneath the surface for a lifetime following an injury and some people even feel pain in limbs they no longer have. All it takes is the right trigger and all that hurt can feel fresh again.
Perhaps that’s true for more than just the body.
“You were right last night,” you admit, burying your face into the crook of his arm. “Sometimes it scares me so much to think about what you’re up against out there that it’s just easier to pretend it’s not real.”
Yoongi pulls you a bit tighter into his side, turns his head to press a kiss to the wild mass of your hair.
“Right or not, it was still a pretty fucked up way to go about talking to you about it,” he murmurs. “I don’t want you walking around every day waiting to get a call. That’s no way to live.”
Sometimes you don’t know how he does it. How he can leave this bubble of contentment the two of you have created together to go out there and walk a thin line between life and death. Sometimes you don’t know how he manages to keep one foot in that world and one foot in yours without fracturing in two.
The comfortable space you’ve settled into against him shifts as he takes a deep breath.
“You’re not going to fight me on this thing with the money, right?”
“No,” you sigh. “I’m not going to fight you about the money. I know why you did what you did.”
“Good.”
“But if I’d known you were sitting on that much money, we would have had that argument on a yacht instead of in this apartment.”
Your smart mouth earns you a pinch to the side and you yelp, pinned in place by Yoongi’s iron grip.
“That hurt.”
“It was supposed to hurt.”
Yoongi’s mouth curves into a lazy grin as you glare at him.
“Funny. Anyway if I were you, I’d be sleeping with one eye open, Min. I might off you myself and get a beach house and a pool boy.”
“I would haunt that motherfucker.”
The two of you share a laugh at that – a good one, the kind of laugh you feel from your scalp all the way to the tips of your toes. But after a while the laughter subsides. The humor slowly seeps out of Yoongi’s face. His dark eyes go serious.
“Hey,” he whispers, cupping your face in one hand. He looks down at you with such sincerity that your heart trips inside your chest. “I’m not going anywhere. You know that right?”
It’s not a lie. Not really. He means it when he says it, though both of you know it’s a promise he’s not in any position to make. But you’ll believe it, for him. For you, too.
You close your eyes and press your cheek to his chest; allow yourself to savor the feel of his solid warmth.
“Yes,” you breathe. “I know.”
hi i actually wrote something and i'm feeling very happy about this. thank you for reading i hope you find an extra $20 in your pocket 💕
My favourite fics from other authors!!
MCU:
daisies - peter parker by @starktonyx
As it was - Steve x reader, Bucky x reader by @heli0s-writes
Never again - bucky barnes by @houseravenclaws
tap - bucky barnes by @houseravenclaws
the box - peter parker by @waitimcomingtoo
incorrect quotes ft. peter x y/n by @eunoiathewriter
begging with scott lang by @ragnarachel
trouble in paradise - peter parker by @ptergwen
your mess - peter parker by @peterbenjiparker
stark!reader x peter by @ptergwen
phone sex blurb w peter by @sgrantsgf
twenty bucks Peter parker by @deathbyathousandspiders
Wizarding World:
interrupted - neville longbottom by @nevillesimp
the one that got away - harry potter by @george-fabian-weasley
angry love confession in the rain - sirius black by @salazarslytherin
jealousy, jealousy - james potter by @letterstotheflre
Poly!marauders smut by @strawberrysodaslut
Celebrities
Chris being in love with Y/N for 7 mins video by @astranva
You'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me - Tom Holland by @waitimcomingtoo
Thirst tweets with Chris Evans and Y/N L/N by @put-trash-here
The friendship test - Joseph Quinn by @magicchai
ground rules - Joesph Quinn by @icallhimjoey
Criminal Minds
Touch starved - Spencer Reid by @donald4spiderman
Your relationship with Hotch is exposed by @ddejavvu
You walk in on Spencer talking to his fish by @radiant-reid
You obsess over Hotch and he overhears EVERYTHING by @kryptonitejelly
The team finds out you and Hotch are married by @kryptonitejelly
Jack calls you 'momma', outing you and Hotch's relationship by @kryptonitejelly
Another one where Jack outs you and hotch's relationship by @kryptonitejelly
A third one where jack outs your relationship with Hotch by @kryptonitejelly
The one where everyone finds out - You and Spencer (reid) are in love but you just don't know. by @reidscanehand
Don't think I don't like you - Spencer Reid by @luveline
Reid wears Glasses - Spencer Reid by @luveline
The fear of falling apart - Spencer Reid by @pathologicalreid
Stranger things
Whispering dirty things into Eddie's ear as a dare by @erosso
Eddie being pussy drunk - Eddie Munson by @subbypeterparker
Admiring Steve Harrington by @masmybeloved (deactivated acc)
Three's a crowd, but four's a party - Eddie, Steve, Robin x reader by @glasvera
Out loud - Eddie Munson by @iheartyouyou
Billy Hargrove noticing the little things by @fbfh
Bi!fem!reader x steve harrington by @eufezco
Eddie and daughter!Roan x reader series by @luveline
Dead wrong - Steve Harrington by @lucasnclair
some fic writers to read who aren't me
there's so many amazing writers on here who ultimately made me want to contribute to the eddie thirst and it's just nice to have more series to follow and binge so these are all my absolute faves and you should follow and read and drown the writers in praise!
these are just my all time faves but i always reblog what i like so check that out too!
ps: I will make another list of this but exclusively just slutty eddie reads, pure filth
✹ @andvys love will tear us apart series this is absolutely phenomenal, i am addicted! i honestly check multiple times a day for new parts. there's prequels as well to feed my cravings as well
✹ @pxrxcxa opposite ends top tier enemies to lovers fic! dustin's sister is one of my favourite tropes and they do it so well. perfect slow burn
✹ @thefreakymunson anywhere but here i couldn't not give you a rockstar eddie fic and this is one of the best! it's a really unique take on it and just fun, hot and angsty
✹ @nyxoz follow the oz writes eddie munson tag my go to for eddie smut because it's always so fucking hot but there's also some gorgeous fluff bits like i just love their eddie! just check the tag there's so much
✹ @kissitbttr eddie x mean cheerleader but also all the other eddie fics because their fem readers are all loud mouth slightly terrifying girls and i am a true believer that this is eddie's type to the core, they're the perfect match. as a scary loud girl, her characters speak to me
✹ @chaseadrian live wire another novel worthy series that's so original and just stunning! angsty and sexy as hell
✹ @ambrossart dancing with myself this one i hold dear to my heart. i love the concept so much and so much work went into it. i love love the backstory of eddie and reader and the way the characters are portrayed is amazing. a 10/10 chrissy portrayal
✹ @munsonquinns forbidden fruit total unapologetic delicious filth. this is so sexy but also a really sweet storyline and take on eddie?
✹ @inknopewetrust hoping i'll find (a glimpse of us) if you want a one shot, this is it. wanna cry? this is it. it's like a whole short story. i have reread this multiple times and each time i do it's all i think about for the rest of the day
✹ @riotkayla finding the truth this was the first eddie series i read and i adore it. it's just such a good concept and got me hooked on dad eddie
✹ @luveline june baby and eddie and roan (single dad eddie) i feel like if you on stranger things fanfic tumblr then you know them, they've never made a bad fic but these are my favourites. june baby is like a novel, so carefully considered and written. prepare for your heart to swell twice its size
twelve days of kinkmas
【13th to 24th of December.】
note: this is 18+ content. nsfw. very kinky stuff y’all. please practice safe, consensual sex okay mom.
all tom holland x fem!reader unless indicated otherwise. (some may be toms characters)
⋯
day 1 ↠ face fucking, spit play + face slapping.
day 2 ↠ pain kink, masochism + choking.
day 3 ↠ impact play + overstimulation.
day 4 ↠ bondage + manhandling. w/ college!peter parker
day 5 ↠ humiliation, degradation + thigh riding. w/ fratboy!tom
day 6 ↠ exhibitionism + mirror sex.
day 7 ↠ spanking, praise + facial w/ professor!tom
day 8 ↠ breeding kink, rough + cockwarming. w/ mob!tom
day 9 ↠ dom/sub dynamics, ass play + anal sex.
day 10 ↠ voyeurism, toy usage + edging w/ boxer!tom
day 11 ↠ sub!tom, praise kink + pegging.
day 12 ↠ threesome w/ harrison osterfield.
My favourite Regulus black fics (part two):
List One, Oneshots List Three, Multi-Parters List Two, Onshots:
You Know me like no other by: @patrophthia A Quiet song by: @applebutter-and-cinnamon oh, my stars! by: @scripts4dreamers Not much longer by: @youremagicmoony Too late now by: @specialbrewbutterbeer Sleepy by: @queerpumpkinnn This one also doesn't have a tittle by: @emmykayss Our Scars by: @lemon-boy-stan He loves you by: @cryonme Annotated books & sleek hardcovers by: @messers-moony hidden messages in foreign languages by: @applebutter-and-cinnamon a snake and his little bird by: @robynlilyblack True love by: @ourloveisforthelovely the twos times you called each other for help by: @lustsickforyou Rescue you by: @thebrunettemuse don't give up on me by: @d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n another one that doesn't have a tittle by: @ddejavvu My cat in disguise by: @unabashednightmarepizza forever by: @ourloveisforthelovely other girls by: @ourloveisforthelovely Surprises by: @ourloveisforthelovely Stressed to kill by: @ourloveisforthelovely one, two, i love you by: @curseofaphrodite Slytherin school robes by: @battinscn tricks and charms by: @curseofaphrodite soulmate AU by: @ladylokilaufeyson5 Jasmine, lavender, and poppy by: @shadowbriar she's my type by: @still-blue-sky back the fuck off by: @justtwotired a little black lie by: @specialbrewbutterbeer First love by: @specialbrewbutterbeer Winters and best friends by: @book-place Troublemakers by: @mrsmikaelsxn
!none of this work is mine, they are all from different wonderful writers here on tumblr, these are just my favourites!
here is a link to my work