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Help me find this fic

ok so basically its a jaylos fic where there is some sort of abandoned warehouse of some sort on this far end of the isle and all villains tend to steer clear of it because if you go in you die.

and like it turns out that carlos set up a bunch of traps and has this fascination with like blood and killing or whatever and jay finds out but he just shrugs it off and the two end up dating and then mal and evie find out and they are kinda all like that just makes him more badass

it was on ao3 and jaylos but i can’t seem to find it anymore...thank youuu

First and final. (jaylos angst)

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rating: teen and up

warning: major character death, no happy ending

summary: Jay struggling in the aftermath of Carlos's death

first and final. - Chapter 1 - viarcham - Descendants (Disney Movies) [Archive of Our Own]

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(full work below)

It had never meant to end like this. As Jay stared down at the polished coffin, all he could think was that it wasn't meant to end like this. Not at 19, due to what the doctor had clinically lectured was ‘a sudden spike of abnormal electrical activity in the patient's brain.’ No matter how many times they would explain it to Jay, it would never make sense.

They had made it, away from the Isle: made it over countless miles, a fathomless sea and an impenetrable barrier, ran so far it no longer loomed over them like a death knell.

Jay had always thought that of the four of them, he would cross the final divide first; in his quietest moments, he had entertained childish fantasies of martyring himself in their pursuit of greatness-maybe his still warm corpse languished on the ground, the only thing that had stopped the bullet from driving into his allies’ side. Maybe Mal would declare him her greatest knight, while Evie mercifully drove the blade into his carotids, Carlos’s last desperate kiss bruising Jay’s lips, as Jay let himself sink into the welcoming grasp of oblivion.

Mal hadn't been able to stomach the funeral. Evie had scrubbed furiously at her shining eyes, then swiftly disappeared, her mascara and facade already replaced so perfectly that no outward sign of grief remained.

Jay didn't blame them.

Everyone had already left.

Despite the flood of remembrance cards that taunted Jay from his doorstop, there had been few attending the funeral. The weather had been too pleasant for the occasion, and Jay had watched as the beaming sun lowered and the mourners drifted away. Now, he was the only alive soul remaining. He hadn't been able to leave.

It was too mimetic of the way the world would keep on spinning without Carlos. The world would keep on spinning, and the boy Jay had once been intertwined with would keep on being 19, as time tore them further apart, and soon Jay would be 21, 22, 35, still reeling from the absence of his first ally, his first friend, his first love...his first and final everything, until Carlos was just a wispy shadow of a faint memory, fainter and fainter as time roared on, the ghost that jay knew would always haunt him.

Soon the boy would be nothing more than a tragic footnote in the history of Aurodan. Forgotten. Earlier that morning, Jay had opened his front door to yet another remembrance card. Gaudy saccharine kittens in bows danced along the card edge. It sickened Jay. Inside, it was stuffed with feeble, cloying blandishments that said ultimately nothing but left him even more numb.

Then it referenced ‘the three original Vks’ and Jay had promptly puked. What little breakfast he had kept down splattered all over the card and his front doorstep. Brownish orange. Dimly, as he continued to stand there, helpless, Jay had thought that Carlos would have detested its colour.

The same nausea clawed at his throat now as his eyes bored into the lacquered pine.

The funeral itself had been quiet: the shocked, detached, pall-like kind of silence that clung to its mourners. Jay hadn't been able to stop himself thinking that if Diego wasn't still trapped on the isle, maybe there would at least be a semblance of humanity. Even just a dirge. Anything to acknowledge the gaping hole left.

The coffin wood was cold and smooth and impersonal underneath Jay’s fingers. A flimsy shield.

Jay been able to shield him from gunfights, bullies- heck even Carlos’s own psycho of a mother- but had been passively unaware of that tiny, almost insubstantial electrical signal. Maybe if they had been together, Jay would have noticed something. Anything. Maybe was better than that cold certainty of a corpse.

Over a decade ago, he had pledged everything he was to give Carlos protection. Their splattered blood embodying the oath with a purposeful weight, the knife grip too oversized for younger Jay’s grasping fingers. Carlos’s small grin had electrified him. Jay then had known he would give his life to see it again. He still would now...more than anything. The corners of his mouth were involuntarily tugged up, but it didn't reach his glassy eyes.

All of Jay’s protection was rendered useless in the end.

Just another moment.

Just a bit longer.

If he stayed, he could force the world to mourn for another moment. Jay wouldn't have to face the blistering apathy of this world as his own universe laid, unresponsive and unreachable, inside the casket. Jay let his emotions fracture and engulf him in a suffocating chasm of grief.

It wasn't meant to end like this.

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(end of work authors notes: Hi. I went to a funeral this week, and decided the best way to process that was to write a fic that hurts descendants characters (and my beta writer, sorry darling <3) I have not seen rise of red yet so may not be totally canon accurate.

Please feel free to point out any grammatical errors I missed, and constructive criticism is will always be appreciated- and even if its just a keyboard smash or emoji or kudos on ao3 :))

Literally can’t believe Cameron Boyce is gone. Descendants 3 is going to mean so much more now!

Five Stages of Grief

Please imagine Mal - toughest kid on the Isle, bringer of havoc, ice cold heart - and Jay - strongest kid ever, can charm his way into kisses and out of trouble, will rob you blind in a second - realizing that they are falling in love with two of the biggest, softest, cutest dorks on the Isle and going through the five stages of grief.

Denial

Because of course you can’t fall in love on the Isle. Especially not with people like Evie and Carlos.

“No Mother, I don’t have friends. I’m only hanging out with Evi- I mean, the Evil Queen’s daughter because she’s a good distraction when I’m stealing. I don’t care about her, what are you talking about? I don’t have friends. Wait, why do you ask? Did she call me her friend?”

“Shut the fuck up, Hook. I don’t like De Vil. He does my homework is all. Yeah, of course I don’t let people pick on him, he’s mine to pick on, don’t touch him. What do you mean other people are saying stuff? They better not be being mean to Carlos or I’ll-. I’m not being protective, he’s just mine is all.”

Anger

Jay and Mal being so confused by their own mess of feelings and being antagonized by their parents and classmates for being weak.

But the thing about bad feelings is that they go away if you give them to someone else!

The two of them lash out at Carlos and Evie - yell at them for being clingy and needy and pathetic, when in reality, it’s Jay and Mal who are following them like lost puppies. But they snap at Carlos, who shakes at Jay’s voice, and at Evie, whose mascara turns ugly as it runs down her face.

With Carlos and Evie gone, the sorrow becomes worse and Mal might be more feared than ever, but she misses Evie’s perfume. No one laughs at Jay, but he misses Carlos’ soft smile.

Jay and Mal return with their tails between their legs, stolen gifts overflowing their arms, all but on their knees for forgiveness.

Bargaining

Okay, they can like Carlos and Evie, but nothing more. They don’t love Carlos and Evie, they don’t love anyone.

It’s purely physical when Mal leaves kisses on Evie’s throat and collar. It’s only physical when Mal’s fingers sneak up Evie’s shirt - up her skirt - and she moves gently, as if too much would pull Evie from her grasp. It’s simply physical when Evie shouts for her and, for the first time, Mal isn’t embarrassed of her name.

It’s just physical when Jay pins Carlos to a wall and kisses him like it could save his life. It’s merely physical when Jay feels Carlos’ rapid pulse - faster than the wings of a humingbird - beneath his tongue and it excites him. It’s nothing but physical when Jay’s tongue explores freckles and scars and Carlos’ hand in his hair is soothing rather than fearful.

They’ve done this before - with each other and others. Fucking is okay. Falling in love is not.

They’re only fucking.

Depression

It all fails. People know Jay and Mal are helplessly in love with freckles and blue hair. Their parents and villains and other kids, they all know that Jay and Mal are weak.

There’s no point in stealing anymore, Jay thinks. People know he’s whipped. Everyone knows he’s not big or bad or tough. They know he has feelings and he wants nothing more than to hold Carlos’ hand like some dumb fucking Auradon movie. Harry and Gil laugh at him and push him around and Jay can’t even stand up for himself. What’s the point?

Mal’s gone from the most feared VK to a punchline. Her mother knows she’s in love. Mal can’t snarl or bite or curse without people reminding her that it’s all an act and that’s she’s really just a soft, little girl who likes snuggles and braiding Evie’s hair. She can’t be evil or wicked or rotten.

They stay hidden on the Isle, even from Carlos and Evie. Jay and Mal lose themselves in this revelation of love and if they can’t run the Isle, why bother with anything?

Acceptance

In their hiding, Carlos and Evie are left to fend for themselves. They’re Isle kids too, just as tough as any of them, but they’re only teenagers against a island of villains.

When Evie shows up with scratches on her face and torn clothing and hair ripped out, when Carlos appears with bruises and a limp and cowering away from everyone, even Jay, it all turns around.

Mal gets names and Jay gets addresses and they fuck people up. With fire and knives and broken bottles and pain for Carlos and Evie - who have suffered enough and will never be hurt again, not as long as Jay and Mal are breathing - the two of them find their own villainous justice. Anyone who called Evie a name and anyone who mocked Carlos, they get their own punishment because you do not mess with what belongs to Jay and Mal, you do not fuck with Carlos and Evie.

And, overnight, their reputation is back. People tremble as Mal walks in the marketplace, grown villains become quiet when Jay comes into view. Their violence and passion have been shown and the two of them are feared and obeyed without question.

They can be both - they can be in love and they can be rotten. Mal can enjoy Evie’s soft kisses and sweet breath and she can fuck up your face with a knife. Jay can give Carlos hugs and kiss his cheek and he can throw your sorry ass into the ocean.

Being in love doesn’t mean being weak and being evil doesn’t mean being heartless. Jay and Mal can rule the Isle and also have a soft boyfriend and soft girlfriend.

One of these days, I’m gonna turn this into an actual fic, I swear it.

no offense but i'm going down with this ship and i'm taking y'all with me

click for better quality i guess ugh

jay: [gets down on one knee]

carlos: oh my god, oh fuck, it's finally happening-

jay: [ties his shoelaces]

carlos, tearing up: he finally stopped wearing fucking crocks!

evie: jay would throw himself in front of a moving car for you!

carlos: jay would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

evie: jay, you've lost a lot of blood! quick, what's your type?

jay: short, quiet, white hair. his name should start with "carlos" and end with "de vil".

evie: what? i mean your blood type!

jay: oh!

evie:

jay:

evie:

jay: ...red?

evie: why are you naked, carlos?

carlos: i'm- i'm out of clothes?

evie: [opens his closet]

evie: what do you mean? you have pants, shirts, hi jay, jackets...

jay, passing carlos a slip of paper: hey, can you read this for me?

carlos: uh... sure.

carlos, reading: i- i do?

jay: [suddenly in a suit, pulling out a ring]

mal, appearing from nowhere: mAN AND HUSBAND-

evie: [throwing flowers]

carlos: wha-

i will not ask you where you came from i will not ask you, neither should you

jay: do you know what's the name of the man we keep running into at the supermarket?

carlos: his dogs' names are sprinkles and boots.

jay: that's- that's not what i asked for.

carlos: that's the information i have.