Jaehyun Fic - Tumblr Posts

october 13 (jeong jaehyun)

pairing: jeong jaehyun x reader

word count: 1k+ words.

content: angst, fluff

notes: inspired by intro – sabrina carpenter. i hope this isn’t too confusing.

october 13, 2014.

“goodnight! i miss you, see you tomorrow.” “i’ll be there soon. go to sleep now,” he says. you quickly place your phone on your nightstand, and drifted to sleep, excited to finally see him again after a long time.

you suddenly woke up after a loud crash. you checked the time, 10:15 pm, and went out of your room to check what happened.

october 13, 2018.

10:15 pm.

“hi babe, i’m home!” “how was your day?” you ask as you wrap your arms around him. “it was tiring, but we finished a lot of things. i might get a week off if we finish by tomorrow.” “that’s nice. i’m so proud of you jae” he places his thumb on your cheek, and pulls you closer to him. “i love you,” and before you could respond, jaehyun kisses you passionately.

october 13, 2019.

you haven’t responded to any of my messages?

are you okay?

please reply to me.

are you almost home?

baby, it’s almost 10 pm

you were starting to worry. jaehyun was supposed to be home by this time. where was he? you were about to cry until you heard a familiar ringtone. you quickly picked it up, and the first thing you heard was a car horn sound. “hi babe, i’m coming home now. wait for me?” “you scared me, jae. why weren’t you answering your phone?” “i only had the chance to charge my phone in the car, i’m sorry. everything’s alright.” “okay, come home safely. i have something to tell you.” you say with relief. “i’m almost home. i love you,” he says as he ends the call.

“i’m pregnant,” you tell him when he greets you at the door. he looks at you, wide-eyed, a smile creeping in his face. “you’re not joking?” you shake your head, and he lifts you up and hugs you. you sleep that night with jaehyun chanting ‘i love you’ to you repeatedly.

october 13, 2014.

its times like this, i wish i had a time machine

you heard sounds coming from the living room, and you slowly took a peek inside— you shouldn’t have. you saw him with another woman. they were trying to suppress the sounds they were making. you hear him faintly say “i love you,” so you quickly ran to your room.

the last thing you heard that night was your sobs and his ‘i love you’ to another woman.

october 13, 2020.

10:15 pm

“yeah, i love you too,” you faintly hear jaehyun say as you go down the stairs. you were about to cry— you were going to cry. “jae, what the fuck! who was that?” you scream, trying to stop your tears from falling. “y/n, what? quiet down, jaewon might wake up.” he says as he lets his phone fall to his feet, startled by your voice. “who was that?” you say quietly, realizing that your child might hear you, now letting your tears fall to your cheeks. “my mom. it was my mom, y/n,” he says, and you just stare at him— not knowing what to do, what to believe. him or your thoughts. he’s saying i love you to another woman. “check my phone then,” he says, handing his phone. you should just trust him. trust him. for fuck’s sake, just trust him. you grab his phone, and just like he said, it was his mom. you check every app he has, and there are no signs of another woman. stupid girl. “i’m doing my best, y/n. i don’t know what to do to gain your full trust after all these years.” he says, so gently, that it makes you cry even more. “i know jae, i’m sorry. i’m just scared,” you tell him. “you need to trust me babe,” he says as he pulls you closer to him, hugging you tightly. “i’m scared you’ll find someone else, and replace us,” you whisper in his chest. “babe, i’m not him. i’m not leaving you and jaewon.”

october 13, 2015.

“i’m sorry.” your father says. “one year too late. don’t say sorry now,” you tell him. “i love y-“ “if you did, you wouldn’t leave us. you wouldn’t cheat on mom,” you say, feeling the tears on your eyes. “mom might have forgiven you, but i don’t, and i don’t think i ever will.”

october 13, 2021.

“y/n, your father has been waiting for you,” your mom says, giving you small smile. you will never understand how fast your mom forgave him. “it will be alright, come on,” jaehyun reassures you, as he carries jaewon in his arms. you enter the room, and see your father laying on the bed— weak and fragile.

you feel your eyes watering as you sat down beside him. jaehyun looks at you, and you gave him a sign to leave you two alone for a while. “you sure?” he asks, rubbing your back. you nod, and looked at your son. “go buy some candy with your father, yeah?” jaewon smiles, and jaehyun quickly gives you a peck on your cheek.

you looked at your father, and when you see him give you a faint smile, you quickly looked away. “hi y/n. how are you?” he asks. “what a beautiful family you have,” he comments, and you try your best not to scoff at him. be kind, you remind yourself. “how are you feeling?” “i’m good. i’m glad you came, i have been waiting for you.” it was silent for a while. you couldn’t find the courage to talk to him. “i miss you so much. i love you, you know that right?”

this was your father. the man who you grew up with treating you like a princess. the man you had so much good memories with. the person who you first told everything to. you didn’t even go to your mom first— it has always been him, your dad. the person who would do anything for you. the man you first loved. who would have thought he would also be the first to break your heart.

“god, i love you so much, but—”

but you’re such a dipshit.

thanks to you i can't love right

i get nice guys and villainize them

i blame you for every worst that i assume

he tries to hold your hand, and you let him as tears fall from your face. despite everything happening, you still can’t find the courage to look at him.

please fucking fix this cause you were all i looked up to, now i can't even look at you.

this is the end

pairing: jeong jaehyun x reader

word count: 2.3k

sm entertainment has confirmed that jeong jaehyun and y/n have broken up. the news has left many fans expressing their sadness and concern for the couple who had been together for six years. since the announcement of their relationship, the couple had captured the support of fans.

while sm entertainment has confirmed the breakup, the reasons behind it remain unknown. fans are left wondering what could have caused the sudden split, with many taking to social media to speculate and share their theories.

both jaehyun and y/n have yet to comment on the situation.

As jaehyun landed at the airport, he was met with a barrage of questions from fans and reporters about his recent breakup with y/n”

“jaehyun!” “jaehyun, is it true? you and y/n have broken up?” “jaehyun! what was the reason for your breakup?”

jaehyun tried to cover his face with his cap and walked quickly to his van, to his surprise, taeyong was already there waiting for him. “hey, are you okay” taeyong asks. jaehyun shook his head,  tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes. “hyung…” he starts, but all he could do was cry.

when they arrived at the dorm, taeyong contemplated on sending you a message to see how you were doing, but before he could, jaehyun sat down next to him. “hyung, i love her so much, but i think this is really the end of it.” jaehyun tells him, staring at the wall in front of him. “i doubt she wants to see me again. there’s no going back,” he continues. “jaehyun, what happened to the both of you? last time i talked to her, she was so happy to see you visiting her in america,” taeyong asked, confused on the sudden change of your relationship.

 jaehyun looks at taeyong with tears in his eyes. “it’s my fault.”

flashback.

knock knock.

“who is it?” you scream, walking towards the door. to your surprise, you saw your boyfriend, jaehyun, on the other side of the door. you squeal in delight, jumping in his arms. “my love! what are you doing here?” you say, giving him kisses all over his face. “calm down, love.” he chuckles, walking inside and placing you on the couch. “we are on a break right now, and they allowed me to visit you. surprise?” he says, and all you could do is smile and give him kisses. “i love you so much,” you say. “i love you more.”

it's been days since jaehyun visited you, and your parents have invited you both to a family gathering. “do i look okay?” he asks you. kissing him on his cheek, you answer, “always.”

during the family gathering, jaehyun was mostly with your dad and uncles. you were staring at him until your cousin asks you, “so, when are you planning to get married?” you blush at her comment because although you and jaehyun have discussed it, you did not want to pressure him in doing anything regarding it. “we are not rushing into anything,” you answer.

if you were to decide, you would want to settle down and start a family with him already, but your relationship with jaehyun is not that easy. he was at the peak of his career, and you did not want to do anything that would risk it. you were proud of him. you loved seeing him do the things he love, and you know that he loves you. a marriage doesn’t need to prove that.

“hm, but you have been together for six years now… aren’t you a little bothered that he hasn’t atleast proposed?” you stared at her for some time, not sure where she is going with this. “no, i’m not. what… what are you even trying to say?” “it’s just, come on y/n, he’s jaehyun… he’s surrounded with lots of…” you didn’t want to hear it. you couldn’t believe what you were hearing from her right now. you didn’t want to sit here, listening to her belittle your relationship with jaehyun like that. “i’m leaving,” you say. you walk towards jaehyun, and he could already tell that something was wrong, so he says his goodbye to your dad and uncles. “y/n, what’s wrong?” he asks, bringing you closer to him. “let’s go home,” you tell him.

once at home, you do your usual night routine, while jaehyun wonders what happened to get you all this sad and frustrated. “do you want to tell me what happened?” he asks, once you were both in bed. you look at him with sad eyes and a frown. you didn’t want to bring it up to him because you know it would bother him as well, and that’s the last thing you want to do. “it’s nothing, just tired.” “y/n, you should know by now not to lie to me. i understand if you don’t want to talk about it right now, but just know that i’m here,” he says. you nod, snuggling closer to him. he caresses your hair, still hoping you would talk to him, so you decide to… if only you knew the outcome of this conversation, you would have just slept it out.

you look at him, telling him what happened with your cousin. “i trust you jaehyun, and although i want to settle down. i know it’s not a priority right now because of your career, and i’m not holding that against you. i know you love me, and i love you too,” you tell him, drawing hearts on his chest.

jaehyun stays silent, thoughts were clouding his head. he didn’t know you wanted to settle down already. it’s true you have discussed about it already, but he didn’t know that it’s something you want right now. holding you back is the last thing he wanted to do.

“jaehyun?” you call. “hm? i didn’t know you wanted to settle down already,” he says. you chuckle, “it’s not that serious. what matters is you’re here with me,” you say, closing your eyes, getting ready to sleep. jaehyun, on the other hand, struggled to sleep that night.

the next morning, you woke up to jaehyun’s luggage all packed up. you were confused because as far as you know, he still has a week left. you found him in the kitchen, preparing some pancakes. you gave him a peck on the cheeks, and hugged him. “love, did the company call you about something urgent?” you ask him, and he stays silent. you frown, letting him go. “love? jaehyun? is something wrong?” you ask, not liking the atmosphere. you were scared, beyond scared. “i…” he says, looking at you, and quickly looking away. “let’s break up,” he says. you stare at him in silence. tears starting to form in your eyes. what happened? did he fall out of love? no… that can’t be. “why?” you ask, tears now flowing. “why are you breaking up with me all of a sudden?” he lets out a sigh, wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms. “you want to settle down, y/n. i can’t give that to you right now. i don’t want to hold you back.” you look at him in disbelief. you were furious. you didn’t want that stupid marriage if it wasn’t him. what’s the point of settling down if it’s not him? you wanted him. you wanted to settle down with him. you reassured him that it was fine. all night you told him that it was okay and those words hold true.

“jaehyun, i told you that it was okay. we don’t need to-“ you stop yourself. your thoughts now clouded with negativity, with sadness, with anger. he’s breaking up with you that easily. he just decided one night that you were not worth fighting for. he decided to ruin your six year relationship just because… of this? you look at him, “okay.” you tell him. this is it. the end. “okay. i don’t need to fight for something you are set on. i told you everything, and you still decided to break up with me. am i not worth fighting for, jaehyun?” you ask him. he looks at you bewildered, “y/n, of course you are worth fighting for. but we have different-“ you cut him off, “no jaehyun, we do not have different goals. i would have talked to you about all this, but you just decided to break up with me? you know what? it’s fine, just leave. i don’t want to see or hear from you again. goodbye,” you say, walking towards your room. you place his luggage outside the room, and locked it, crying your eyes out. not caring if he could hear you or not.

he knocks on the door. “y/n, please open up,” he says repeatedly. “leave! don’t talk to me ever again. i hate you!” you scream. of course you didn’t mean it. you love him more than anything in the world. when the night comes, you were hoping to see him just outside the door, or the kitchen, or living room, anywhere near you. however, you were left with complete silence. no traces of him, no traces of jaehyun in your house.

and that’s when you knew that this is it. this is the end.

for the next few days, jaehyun was spotted strolling around america alone. fans and reporters speculated a possible breakup due to no sight of you.

end of flashback.

taeyong listened intently to jaehyun. “hyung, i messed up so bad. she hates me.” taeyong knew you didn’t hate jaehyun. you wouldn’t have meant that. “she doesn’t hate you, jaehyun. believe me. she was just hurt,” he says. “what do i do?” jaehyun asks. taeyong thinks of a plan… he really tried to think of one, but he was left with nothing. he could only imagine what you were going through right now. “we’ll figure it out, okay? go rest first. come on,” taeyong tells jaehyun.

taeyong desperately wanted to help you and jaehyun get back together. everyone knew how much you loved each other, but he just didn’t know how. when jaehyun falls asleep, taeyong decides to message you. there is a slim chance you’ll reply to him considering what happened, but atleast he tried.

taeyong: hey y/n. how are you?

it has been weeks, and you still couldn’t believe what happened. you miss him so much. all you want is for him to come back, but a part of you doesn’t want that to happen knowing he gave up on you easily.

your phone notification chimes, glancing at it, you see taeyong’s name.

you: hi yong. could be feeling better haha is there something wrong?

why was taeyong messaging you so late? did something happen to jaehyun? you wre growing nervous, tapping on your phone in hopes for taeyong to respond quicker.

taeyong: no, nothing’s wrong. jaehyun just arrived in the dorm, and i was just wondering how you were doing.

you: he broke up with me hahaha so that’s that. you probably heard it from the news or him already

taeyong: he loves you you know

you: if he did he wouldn’t have broken up with me but it’s all good i’ll move on eventually i think

tears were now running down your cheeks again. how will you move on from him?

you: i just don’t understand why he would break up with me i told him i’m fine with not settling down i love seeing him doing the things he love we were not rushing i just wanted him yong

you: im sorry ignore me haha

taeyong: y/n…

you hear your phone ringing, but you didn’t want to hear from anyone right now, so you decided to shut your phone off.

“jaehyun, we were told that you have to go live and comment on the breakup. tell everyone to stop talking about it,” the manager tells him. “if i do this, i might just lose y/n forever,” jaehyun says. “i know you don’t want to do it, and i don’t want you to do it as well, but it’s an order,” the manager simply says. jaehyun simply nods.

jaehyun prepares to go on live. he goes through his messages, clicking on your last message to him.

you: love youuuuu! you look so pretty on stage mwa sing to me everyday once you visit me

he types a message for you.

jaehyun: y/n, i miss you. please. one word, and i’ll come back. i love you so much.

he could have ran to the airport, and took the earliest flight to you, but his thoughts were a mess. he thinks you hate him. he was scared, so he decided to just send the message.

This user has blocked you.

ah… jaehyun thinks. before he could call taeyong to try to message you, the manager has already called him to go on live.

when the live ended, that’s when he knew that this is it. this is the end.

jeong jaehyun has gone on live on social media, addressing on the recent breakup with y/n. In a somber tone, he confirmed the news, thanking fans for their support and acknowledging the difficulty of the situation.

“everyone, i know you have heard the news. thank you for all your support, but unfortunately, they are true… we are really over. i won’t be commenting anymore further on this matter. please don’t bother y/n about any of this. she has dealt with a lot already.”

During the live broadcast, fans noticed the forming tears on jaehyun’s eyes, highlighting the emotional toll of the breakup. despite his efforts to keep the details private, fans continue to speculate on the reasons behind the split.

It is undoubtedly a difficult time for both jaehyun and y/n as they navigate the end of their long-term relationship. while the reason behind the breakup remains unknown, it is evident that jaehyun and y/n shared a deep love for each other.

begin again

word count: 1.5k+ pairing: jae? x reader notes: part two for this is the end. hope you like this <3 not proofread.

after jaehyun went live to confirm the news, you hurriedly unblocked him. calling his number with the hope of trying to undo both of your actions, but he didn’t answer. you felt devastated. it felt like the world was against you, against the both of you. so, you blocked him again. trying to accept the fact that it is really over. the love story you created is over.

six months after.

“where are you going?” nara, your friend and now roommate, asks. “meeting up with someone. might not be home tonight though, so don’t wait up,” you tell her. nara raises her eyebrows, skeptical on who her friend was meeting, but she brushed it off, deciding it’s better to let you enjoy life especially with what went down. “okay, just stay safe and call me if you need anything!” she says. “thank you! i’ll be going now. bye!”

you were in delightful bakery, ordering the delicious bread they have, until you hear your phone notification.

jae: hey, where are you? want me to pick you up? you: it’s fine. wanted to walk around before heading to yours anyway. im in a bakery, do you want anything? jae: just your presence is enough <3

you giggle to yourself, placing your phone back in your bag and getting the bags of bread you ordered. it was a lovely day, the sky was bluer than ever and the sun was shining the right amount of beams.

you never really expected to begin again after what went down months ago, but you’re glad you’re in a happy place now. you never expected for it to get better, but it did.

flashback: six months before.

you were a crying mess. you didn’t understand how jaehyun could easily let you go. after everything you’ve gone through, you expected him to put up a fight for you. you guess, not everyone and everything is what they seem.

it’s been a few weeks since the tragic day. you were walking to your favorite bakery, delightful bakery, until you heard someone call your name. “y/n!” you look back, seeing mark and jaemin. “oh, hey guys.” “i didn’t expect to see you here. what are you up to?” mark asks. you smile at him, “about to buy some bread. have you tried their bread? it’s really good.” both of the boys shake their heads, and you playfully gasp. “if you are both free, i’ll let you try some,” you tell them. “aw, i actually have to go right now. i have a solo schedule. maybe next time?” mark says, and you frown a bit before smiling again, telling him it’s fine. “i can come. i’m free today,” jaemin says. you smile at him, excited to make him try your favorite bread. as shallow as it sounds, it’s nice to hang out with someone after what you’ve been through. while you’re glad your friends have been trying to comfort you, you can’t deny how busy they really are, and disturbing them is the last thing you wanted to do. it may be weird hanging with someone close to jaehyun, but they don’t deserve to be shunned for what happened between jaehyun and you.

“so, how is it?” you ask him. “it’s really good! you were right,” he tells you, taking another bite. “that’s good to hear. they make the best bread, that’s why i try to go here early because it gets sold out immediately,” you explain. he nods, munching on his bread. “so, how are you?” he asks. you knew what he was pertaining to. “i’ve been fine, really. could be better, but hey this is life,” you shrug. “it will get better,” he tells you.

present time.

you knock on his door, looking around the hallways, you spot a painting that strikingly looks like the honeysuckle bower.

“hey there,” he greets you, bringing you closer to him with a soft kiss on your forehead. “i bought some bread,” you tell him, raising the bags you were carrying. “my favorite!” he beams. you place the bread on the table, preparing the utensils and plate for the both of you. “did nara ask where you were going?” he asks, taking a bite off his bread. “yeah, told her i was meeting someone.” “just someone?” he raises his eyebrows at you. you giggle at his antics, going near him to give him a kiss until he jokingly pulled away. “love!” you raise your voice, “wanted to kiss you,” you pout. he gasps, “kiss? aren’t you moving too fast, miss?” he playfully banters. you laugh, slapping his arm gently, attempting to kiss him again. “miss? i don’t think this is something you should be doing to just someone,” he says. you roll your eyes, “love, come on!” he laughs at you, quickly giving you a kiss on your lips. when he pulls away, you tug his shirt. “one more kiss,” you smile.

“well, i guess i could do that for my fiancé, right?” he says, before cupping your face, and giving you a kiss for a lifetime.

flashback: six months before.

“i hope it does get better,” you say softly, looking down on your empty plate. “y/n,” you hear a familiar voice. your brain is missing with you, you think. you look up, expecting jaemin to say something. “y/n…” you hear again, following the sound, you look back and see jaehyun standing. “i’ll be going now. thank you for the food, y/n.” jaemin says, giving jaehyun a pat on the back as he leaves. “hi,” jaehyun says. you were too stunned to speak. how was he here? when he figures you were not going to say anything in any second, he decided to quickly sit down in front of you. “i miss you,” he tells you. you felt tears starting to well up on your eyes. he smiles, quickly wiping them away. “mark told me he saw you here, and that you were with jaemin, so i messaged him to keep you here,” he explained. “wanted to talk to you,” he continued. “i am so sorry for how everything went. you do know that i love you, right? i just thought that, at that time, it was what you wanted, but i understand now,” he says. when you don’t respond, he grows worried, evident on his features that were slowly going down. when you notice this, you quickly grab his hand that was fidgeting on the table, and you saw how his face lit up from that simple action. “i’m sorry it took so long. i know it’s not an excuse, but work held me back. i have a short break, and dream had activities here, so i decided to come along in hopes of getting to talk to you.” “jaehyun…” you speak. “do you want to head to the car for some privacy?” he says, knowing exactly that you were growing uncomfortable with the amount of people around you. you nod, letting him take the lead.

“i missed you so much,” you say, quickly giving him a hug. “i am so sorry, jae. you know i don’t hate you, right? i love you so much. ” you tell him, cringing at the memory of you telling him you hated him. “i know. i love you too. we were just stupid, we’re all good now, right?” he asks, and you nod.  “those weeks without you were the death of me, y/n.” he says, giving you a kiss.

flashback: a month before the present time.

jaemin was right. it does get better, and this was better than ever.  

“y/n, will you marry me?” jaehyun asks, you quickly tug his arms to make him stand. giving him the biggest hug and kisses you could ever give. “yes! yes! yes!” you repeat.  

when the both of you calmed down. you caressed your ring finger, smiling to yourself. “love, when should we tell our friends that we are back together?” he asks. “hmm, i don’t know,” you tell him. when you got back together, you both decided to keep your relationship a secret with only a few knowing. mark, jaemin, and taeyong knew since it’s thanks to them you both were together again. some important people in the company knew to avoid any rumors and news to come out. “i really like how private our relationship is for now, it feels like it’s just the both of us in this world,” you say. “it’s a breath of fresh air without people following us around,” he agrees. “whenever and whatever you want, i’ll be here love.”

present time.

in a stunning turn of events, beloved couple jeong jaehyun and y/n have taken the world by surprise with their recent engagement. the couple has come to social media, posting a photo of both their hands intertwined with a ring. 

fans are eagerly awaiting for further details about their wedding, however the couple has remained silent. a source close to the couple revealed that they are planning to keep this cherished moment private just like how they did the previous months.

the surprise engagement marks a triumphant moment for the couple demonstrating the power of their love. we wish them happiness and everlasting love as they embark on the new chapter of their love story.

small feelings

fwb!jaehyun x afab reader

18+ mdni, smut

summary: you cannot shake off this feeling of sadness and aimlessness, and the only thing that makes you feel alive these days is having sex up with your sneaky link / fwb jaehyun. but after a particular hookup session, you realize you are certain of your feelings for him: you are in love with him. on top of all these lingering mental problems, you realize he will never love you back. so you have no choice but to push him away, and everything else too.

wc: 8k (girl bye it was not that serious)

cw: very self-indulgent im ctfu, depressed / miserable reader, very brief suicide ideation, arguing followed by a time skip, HEAVY miscommunication, some blood bc reader gets hurt from dropping a vase, kinda hurt/comfort (?), protected sex turns unprotected, creampie, petnames (baby, angel, princess), jaehyun kinda gets freaky and possessive, spitting kink, idk what else honestly I suck at this omg

OCTOBER, WEEK 1

he’s approaching. well, that is what he told you about half an hour ago. and since then, you have been scrambling around the house back and forth, trying to clean up as best as you can because something as simple as that seems to slip from your mind among other things recently.

you scan your room with your eyes to see if you missed anything, and, of course, you did: your bright purple vibrator sitting pretty on your pink sheets—of which you were using before he called. you mentally smack yourself at how stupid you are to almost leave something like that out in the open.

your heart races as you run to the bathroom to do a quick clean to at least give the illusion that it is not entirely dirty. and so you do the same for every area in the house again, even the ones he will not go in. essentially, everything besides the garage because that is beyond saving.

jaehyun won’t care anyway, but eventually the place is finally to your liking and satisfaction. you head back to your room to change into a cute, tight, and pink outfit because that is something he does care about. deep down, you know that is why he is even coming to your house after work: for your body. however, you crave his too, so, in essence, that makes you just as bad.

you have to apply your makeup quickly; he should be here soon. but as your hands mindlessly work on your face, you stare at yourself in the vanity mirror: the girl who looks back is just so…unrecognizable. and for a split second, you swear you can see her frown back at you. when you blink, though, only your pathetic reflection remains.

you try to shake off the feeling as your phone screen lights up next to you.

jae <3 : I’m here. open the door.

he doesn’t knock. he never does. and somehow, the blunt tone of the message has you feeling uneasy.

you check yourself out just one more time before walking up to the door to let him in. but as your hand reaches for the doorknob, you let a sigh escape from your mouth to calm down. you are always nervous to see him, and you can’t help but hate yourself for that.

even so, you just clear your throat and fix your posture before finally opening the door. and there you see him: the most beautiful man you had ever laid your eyes upon. and more specifically, the man you wanted to be yours.

it all happened so fast. you were in his arms. I missed you’s were exchanged even though it hadn’t even been a week since the last. the both of you gravitated towards your room in an uncontrolled, frenzied manner—kissing and crashing into the walls on the way. clothes were thrown and scattered onto your carpet.

it all happened so fast—and so naturally. he just understands you in a way no one or nothing has: he makes you feel alive when everything else inside of you feels dead.

the night is young, and your body feels like it’s on fire. he’s unrelenting. it’s a feeling that you only want for yourself but you’ll never dare to let him know that—you can’t. and still, you want more. his cock is magic and you’re falling for its vicious spell.

it’s criminal: the lewd and loud sounds that your bodies make clapping against each other while also moaning relentlessly. the neighbors can probably hear you guys going at it but that does not matter at all when you’re with him. actually, all your problems vanish when you’re with him, and just maybe, that is why you always come back for more—the escapism is a drug.

“how do you feel and taste better each time? holy shit, baby.”

his nails dig those familiar crescents into your hips as the backshots he’s giving you only become more intense—pain and pleasure in its most pure and perfect form.

“this is what you wanted, huh?”

“oh god yes,” you mewl.

“taking it so good, princess.”

you unconsciously clench tight on his cock in response and he laughs softly.

“my pretty girl likes it when I tell her how good she’s doing… so fucking cute. you make it so hard to hold back, you know?”

your back arches and your hands grip onto the sheets with such a violent and searing pleasure that can only be brought out by him.

“then don’t.”

you don’t know where this sudden rush of courage came from, and it surprises the both of you. and so after a few more thrusts into you, he slows down then stops.

“what are you implying, angel?”

“exactly what I just said. if you don’t want to hold back, there is no reason you should be.”

“is that so?”

“yes,” you say, holding back a whimper as you feel his cock twitch in your walls.

“ok, I just needed the clarification. in that case… can I take the condom off then?” he asks. his voice is firm, but somehow tender and sweet.

“jae…” you sigh, even though your heart skips a beat. “actually, I don’t know…”

“you can’t just rile me up and then back down. come on, princess. I promise I’ll be careful. I’ll pull out.”

you guys had met almost a year and a half ago through mutual friends. and then you started messing around six months into knowing each other, but you had never done it raw before with him. although you don’t hate the idea, the fact he is the one who asked first makes you nervous. the feeling might be too much; the idea of it is too much. it would be too much to bear. it would feel…intimate and romantic, almost. and that right there is something you have been trying to fight in silence for a while now.

and just as you’re about to tell him no, his long fingers trail along the spine of your back and you tremble pathetically to his touch.

“come on… you know you want it too, don’t lie to yourself.”

“well, yes, but–”

“but what?”

you don’t say anything as your mind runs in circles to find an excuse; you do really want it at your core. the thought of it also awakens something primal inside of you. that voice in the back of your head is screaming no, but everything else needs this. you need this.

“you scared? scared it’ll feel too good?” he says, rolling his hips smoothly into yours again.

“I’m not scared…hhh…” you choke, shaking as he starts hitting it from the back again.

“then what is it?”

your mind blanks other than the thought of how much better it would feel if he took it off. and just like that, you find yourself nodding your head.

“you’ll let me do that? I need a yes or a no. come on, baby,” he says, fingers tracing smooth circles onto your back.

“ok fine, n-need it off. please…” you whine as you give in.

“I got you, princess,” he soothes.

he slides out of your plush walls, and you turn your head to watch as he removes the rubber with ease. his eyes glow as he strokes himself a bit and lines himself up again at your entrance.

the tip alone has you both seeing stars, but that feeling is taken to the next level when he is all the way in—it’s cosmic.

you can’t think straight. now, it’s too much yet too little. you keep rolling your hips back to meet his thrusts because you’re so needy and desperate for more. you tilt your head back again and watch as the veins in his arms pop out as he uses force to still you from moving.

“stop it. just let me make you feel good. let me do all the work, okay?”

he slides almost all the way out—his tip latching onto your entrance—before pushing himself back with force and passion. it feels like heaven, twice as nice even, and the deep seated feeling of guilt in your gut makes it shamefully feel better. so you can’t help but fight against his strength and push yourself back onto his dick.

“I thought I told you to stop doing that,” he says, voice now stern and demanding.

he grabs a fistful of your hair into a makeshift ponytail and pulls your back up to his chest.

“isn’t that right?” he whispers seductively into your ear, licking a thick stripe along the earlobe.

“s-sorry,” you cry out.

his strokes are slow and delicious like this, but before you can really bask in the feeling, he pushes you back onto the bed, his arm somehow managing to snake around your neck like a headlock. your hands are now clutching at the sheets again, with more force if even possible. his chest is right against your back and the closeness of it all is suffocating yet so divine.

“fuck jae, s-so good…”

“god, princess. you drive me crazy, you know that, right?” he groans into your ear.

his hips now slam into yours perfectly—hitting that spot and angle rhythmically. he chokes you harder with his arm as his pace becomes faster and messier. you clench onto his dick as you feel that band in your stomach about to explode.

“let me cum inside. fuck, baby, please. let me do it,” he’s vocal in a way he never has been and it’s driving you over the edge.

you just moan, mind too fuzzy to even think or speak properly. his every move and sound feels amplified like this and it’s dizzying.

“god damn, you’re just sucking me in so good… so tight… please…” he whimpers, his pace becoming even more messier.

“jae, oh my god,” you moan.

you can barely breathe now. it all hurts so good. it’s too dangerous. it really feels like he’s making love to you and you’re scared that by letting him finish inside you, your feelings for him will become even more complicated than they already are.

“hurry up, baby. yes or no. I’m not gonna last longer the way you’re squeezing onto me. holy shit…” he chokes out.

a couple more strokes has him twitching and that makes it all the more real. your heart begins to race in a way it never has before. and soon enough, you feel that sweet and vicious euphoria rushing up to you in cathartic shivers and it lets the words roll off your tongue: “cum in me, jae. please.”

the both of you cry out as the orgasm courses through your body which leads to him shooting his warm ropes into your velvet walls.

“jae, I lo–oh my…”

jaehyun kisses your ear and continues to ride out your orgasm.

he really just fucked you so good that you almost told him that you loved him. and the sad and terrifying truth was that if you weren’t sure of that before, you were damn sure of it now. you are in love with him. he mostly likely just sees you as his booty call, and you can’t blame him because you answer every time with no hesitation.

and the worst part is that you know he will never love the real you: the one that is constantly dragged down by the demons of the past.

when he pulls out and away from you, your body immediately reacts to the lack of heat and warmth from him. the afterglow doesn’t last long before the shame pours in with no mercy.

and strangely enough, the tears start to drip down your flushed cheeks because this was it. you had given him basically all that you could. you gave him the rawest form of love you had and that still wasn’t enough for an I like you. really, what more could you expect after that? things will only go down from here.

you are ripped back into reality with the sound of him rambling.

“…all right. see what happens when you let me do my thing?” he says, so happy and sure of himself.

but your heart feels like it has shattered into a million fragments. and there was no way you could hide it. you can’t even look at him. you sniffle—tears pouring and staining your cheeks.

“uh yeah…” you mumble, wiping under your eyes with the back of your hand.

the energy in the room has shifted like a light switch, but he doesn’t take notice.

“you need to go, jae,” you whisper.

“what was that, angel?”

“you need to go,” you say, voice still a quiet whisper.

“uhhh, is everything ok? I thought–”

you turn to look at him now and he is taken aback by the pain written all over your face.

“I said you need to go. now!” you raise your voice.

“what’s wrong? was it something just now? did I go too far?”

“I don’t… I don’t want to talk about it right now. please… just leave…”

you wouldn’t want to see him ever again, actually you couldn’t stand the thought of having to pretend around him anymore knowing you couldn't be his and he couldn’t be yours.

“princess…” he sighs, placing his hand on your shoulder.

but you nudge it away and start to gather his clothes.

“what the hell, y/n? talk to me!”

the sudden switch to your name at this moment makes you even angrier for some reason.

“I need you to go! what about that don’t you understand?”

you throw his clothes at him, but his scent—the overuse of cologne to mask the stench of weed—bounces back to you anyway. they fall and scatter all over his feet and he stares at you in disbelief.

you knew you were being dramatic, but you couldn’t help it: you felt hurt. and most of all, just plain stupid for thinking there was even a slight possibility for something more to happen between the two of you—a future.

he sighs as he dresses himself lazily, not even bothering to buckle his belt.

“tell you what… what I don’t understand is why you always keep making things harder for me. just why can’t you open yourself up to me emotionally. WHAT is going on that you feel the need to shut down like this?”

“oh so now I’m a chore for you?”

“that is NOT what I am saying.”

“it is what you’re implying. I’m too much for you, aren’t I?”

“right now, yes, you are. but I need you to help me here. just TALK to me.”

your mind doesn’t register that last part, only caught up with that yes. you are too much for him. you already felt like a burden to everyone and everything in this damn world but to hear it vocalized from him even in the slightest had your thoughts reeling into dangerous territory.

you could not form the words, instead choking on your sobs.

“y/n…”

you cry as you feel so many emotions—all these small feelings you had ignored—crash over you like an unforgiving, powerful wave.

“hey, I–”

“just get the fuck out!” you cut him off.

your words are charged with anger and you just want to scream at him more for being so stupid and so beautiful.

he sighs again. his eyes are now glowing with a certain sadness and concern that makes the regret all the more soul-crushing. why couldn’t he just love you back? why couldn’t he just fix you?

he gets closer to you so he can place a tender kiss on your forehead. he strokes his thumb on your cheek, like he normally does, but this time it makes you feel sick to your stomach.

“just talk to me whenever you’re ready, princess. I’ll be waiting,” he says.

he walks out of your room and slams the door on the way out. the sound echoes into your heart and soul. and you cry harder than before because you knew deep down that you weren’t going to talk to him again. ever.

and loneliness, then, watches you from the nearest shadow, waiting like a ravenous predator.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

OCTOBER, WEEK 1, THE NEXT DAY

*jae <3 sent you $150

jae <3 : you know, for the plan B, just in case ;)

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

NOVEMBER

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

DECEMBER

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅

JANUARY, WEEK 2

nostalgia is one hell of a drug, and also one hell of a bitch when it comes to letting go. there’s a ton of clothes in your closet that don’t even fit you or you just wouldn’t wear anymore—your taste has changed, or rather, grown. yet for some reason you have it all stashed in there like some hoarder on a television show. it’s an amalgamation of distinct eras of your life and memories that you are too lazy—and also don’t want to—throw away. nonetheless, you cannot find that one damn jacket you swore was in there. you think to yourself that perhaps, just maybe, it is deep in your hamper full of dirty clothes that you haven’t touched in weeks.

you decide you need to leave your house for something other than work and unavoidable errands. staying cooped up inside has done more damage than you’d like to admit, especially when the days are like mush and blend together. this monotonous excuse of an existence is a curse, truly.

not bothering to rummage through the mess, you just pick the first jacket you can find and put it on even though it does not match your outfit at all.

it’s late in the afternoon, and it’s only been one hour since you woke up and got out of bed.

through your window, you take notice of the dull, cloudy sky and realize it’s going to be that annoying, uncomfortable type of chilly day outside, but you have your mind settled on going to the park because god knows you need to touch some grass and reconnect with nature.

you slightly regret brushing off your friends who asked to hangout, but you didn’t want to drag their moods down with how miserable you were. you had to clear your mind—rid it of all reminders of him.

this glumness has just consumed you with a vengeance like no other.

and inevitably, it follows you to the car as you put the keys into the ignition and then drive to the park as if on autopilot. it follows you as you get out and find a bench to sit your pathetic butt on. it then sinks its razor–sharp teeth into you as your eyes scan your surroundings and realize you are alone.

there are kids playing with one another, couples walking together, and just all types of people who just don’t look empty. you know you shouldn’t generalize that because these people could just be putting on a facade for all you know. what stings, though, is how you no longer have the energy to put one on yourself. there’s no bone in your body that has the ability to present such a performance anymore.

instead, you try to focus on something else, like the trees or the stray dogs running around, but you can’t ignore the obvious: you still feel like shit.

you can’t help but ruminate over the fact that you feel so…unhappy, and a large part of that just comes from loneliness. also, you just feel stuck, like there is no moving forward from this because this sadness will never let go of its vicious grasp on you.

it’s like all the small and minor feelings you shoved aside were now majorly affecting every part of your soul, body, and mind.

there are just so many things to be disappointed about in your life and it is killing you—eating away at you inside-out. a single, stupid teardrop drips down your cheek because apparently even that is all your body can muster.

so after a few excruciating minutes of people-watching and the endless screaming in your mind, you decide that this trip was for nothing.

you don’t bother to pick up something to eat on the way home. you’ve lost your appetite.

and just when you think your day couldn’t get any more sour, it does. the cherry on top is that your car stops mid-driveway as it just shuts off. it had been needing repairs that you had been putting off and it came right back to bite in this vulnerable time.

you just groan and debate killing yourself right then and there, but then decide you should just masturbate and go to sleep.

you walk into your home like a ghost, change into comfy clothes, and hop into bed.

as you log into your second twitter account, a caller notification pops up on your screen. your heart sinks to your stomach as you end up clicking it on accident and realize exactly who is calling: jae <3.

you hadn’t exactly brought it upon yourself to block his number despite the few times he tried reaching out throughout the months you haven’t spoken.

you freeze when you hear some rustling and then his familiar, warm voice speaking: “y/n?? you picked up! oh my… I–is it ok if I talk. o-or do you wanna go first? well, we don’t have to right now if you don’t want that, we can meet up–”

beep. you hang up.

you just can’t. hearing him so happy and excited made you want to run back into his arms, but you knew that couldn’t be a reality. even if he did like you back, there was no way in hell he would love the dark parts of you, the parts that made you feel so aimless and eternally dejected. he said it himself: it was too much.

you couldn’t do that to him.

a few seconds later, you get a text that reads talk to me, please :(

and then another call, but you don’t pick up this time. although, you almost do, because he could fix your car—and you miss everything about him—but the car is the most important part, obviously.

after, you stalk all his socials and let regret do its usual bidding.

the night ends with loneliness steeped in exhaustion that not even a scrolling-through-twitter-bookmarks session could remedy.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

JANUARY, WEEK 3

it’s that damned time of the year where it rains a bit too much for your liking because now you don’t really know if it’s right to blame the weather for being extremely sad, glum, and horny but you do it anyway.

and naturally, you stare at the ceiling with empty eyes as you ponder about life or whatever (and mainly him, as always, it seems). the television plays Jersey Shore in the background, yet even that can’t conceal the incessant trickle of the rain and the downpour hitting your roof and outside your window. you want to scream or die or kill somebody; any of those sound good right about now. you’re broke as hell—bank account barely skating above the negatives—so you can’t order anything to your house and you’ve used your vibrator too many times to count that the feeling it used to give you is no longer the same. there’s no point. ugh. you hate it here.

but it’s like he can sense your distress and almost immediately after groaning into the loneliness of your room, your phone dings. you pick up the phone from under your blanket and see the screen lit up with a text message from a certain someone you’ve been avoiding.

jae <3 : you doing anything rn princess? I wanna come over. I haven’t seen you in so long… I really want to talk to you.

and that is all it takes for the walls you built up to come crumbling down.

you bite your lip to hide the cheeky grin that creeps onto your face like an idiot. damn it. you fight the urge to reply back immediately so as to not seem desperate.

yes, he’s sent a string of messages over the course of time you’ve been ignoring him, but this one feels different, and maybe that is just because you want it to be.

anyway, his dick could fix at least one of your problems right now so after waiting for what felt like forever, you hit him back.

y/n: just chilling by myself. hungry. pls bring food.

you were rotting in bed in pajamas you’ve worn for a bit over two days so you immediately scramble out of the sheets to get yourself dolled up for him because for some reason you feel the need to impress him.

it isn’t until half an hour later that jaehyun shows up at your doorstep, soaked from the rain, holding grocery bags in his hands. his dimples still show even as he smiles with semi-pursed lips.

you stare at him for a while, bewildered at how even more gorgeous and stunning he seems, and honestly holding yourself back from just latching on him like a rabid animal.

“can I come in or…are you just gonna keep looking at me like a deer in headlights?” he says, smug.

you snatch the bags from him with a swiftness that makes your emotions of lust and embarrassment all the more palpable, and head towards your kitchen table to set them down. he giggles slightly at this and he takes off his sopping wet jacket, hanging it up on the coat rack you have in the entry hallway. and then he kicks off his shoes with ease which leaves them on the floor scattered. he drops his keys on the counter with a loud bang, running his fingers through his hair after. he sighs loudly and it echoes throughout the room and you can feel it within your chest. it’s all so…safe and comfortable, and maybe that’s because he’s done this many times before. and it feels like nothing has changed even though you haven’t spoken to him in months.

well that is until you snoop through the bags and peep a bouquet of flowers—your favorite ones at that.

“jae, what is this for?” you ask.

you turn your face to look at him, thinking he’s still lurking by the entrance but he’s actually standing right behind you.

your face is now inches away from his chest. and you can breathe in his musk. he reeks of cologne and weed in the best way possible. you stumble and bump your back onto a chair as he reaches over your side.

“I saw them and I thought of you,” he mumbles, grabbing all the other bags.

he drags his feet to the kitchen and unloads all the groceries onto the counter.

it’s so subtle that you almost don’t catch it but the tops of his ears turn a bit red after he says it. it’s cute, and your heart flutters at how he remembers the little things about you.

“well thank you. they’re really pretty.”

the plastic bag crumples as you take the bouquet out and you dive your nose in to take in their sweet aroma.

“I’ll be right back,” you say before heading to your basement to find a vase to put them in, and also to cool off. maybe it was the time apart, but your mind could not function properly around him. it was like every quality about him became ten times more attractive and enticing.

you flip the light switch on and the light flickers twice before giving out. you’ve been meaning to replace the light bulb but you keep forgetting (or rather pushing it off). and now it’s caught up to you like many other things and feelings.

you use your phone’s flashlight to guide you along the mess that you created and you finally find what you're looking for, only it’s at the top of some shelf that you can’t really reach. there’s a small ladder that’s hiding in the small crevice between the shelf and the wall. but still, even after using it and taking all three of its steps, you can barely grasp the vase with your fingertips and you slide it closer and closer towards you before it finally lands in your hands safely.

you’re on your tippy toes at this point, legs trembling. and as soon as you’re ready to get down, it happens in an instant: you lose your balance.

there’s no sugarcoating it. there’s no saving grace and you fall backwards onto your ass. even though it takes the brunt of tumble, your hands fall victim to the vase and its shattered pieces.

maybe it was the noise and the commotion or maybe you let out a scream without realizing it, but jaehyun bolts into the garage not even seconds later.

through the slivers of light radiating from your phone, you can barely peep the blood leaking from your palm and his horrified face.

“a-are you ok?” he asks.

before you can even answer, he picks you up as if you were a doll and rushes you over to the bathroom where he sits you down on the toilet seat.

he already knows where everything is so he pulls out the first aid kit from the cabinet underneath the sink and tends to your bloody hands immediately.

honestly, the cuts weren’t anything major but your heart starts to beat like crazy at how worried he is yet he remains calm and careful in taking care of you.

“this is going to hurt, princess. I’m sorry,” he says before softly dabbing a wet cloth onto your skin.

you wince in pain and he reacts by holding onto your arm and rubbing soothing circles with his thumb.

“shhh… it’s ok. I’ll make you feel better soon.”

he does this for a while and eventually reaches for the bandages.

but the whole time you found yourself staring at him in awe. there was a war going on in your mind. you analyzed his every move: the way he sighed or played with his bottom lip by nibbling on it or how he’d sneak a glance at you with so much worry. all you wanted was to crawl into his skin and be inside of him to know his thoughts and what he was thinking about you.

he places the final bandage and looks up at you with tender eyes before averting his gaze.

“thank you, jae…” you mumble.

you can feel your heart about to just slide out of your chest and onto the tile floor. the insane pace it’s beating at won’t stop.

“why didn’t you ask me for help? I thought you were just going to your room or something. I didn’t know you were going to do that and almost kill yourself.”

“ok, well I thought I had it, but I guess not. I just needed a moment to myself anyway.”

“a moment to yourself? but I just got here?”

“you don’t understand. it’s just… never mind,” you sigh.

“what? you don’t want to talk about that right now either?” he says, tone tinged with slight resentment.

you stand up from the toilet seat because the air in the room quickly is injected with tension, and it becomes stifling and suffocating. how else are you supposed to say that him getting you flowers had you riled up? and how are you supposed to tell him that being around him is too much because you’re hopelessly in love with him and want to be more than just whatever you guys have going on?

perhaps silence and secrecy are the better options.

“ok, whatever,” he says. “that’s not the point. I was right there, you could have just told me to do it. you know I’ll always be there for you, even the small things.”

“I know, jae.”

“ok, so you do know that?”

“well…”

you have a feeling you know where this is going and you want to die.

“then how come you’ve been ignoring me? all my calls and messages… I know you’ve been getting them. and you fucking hung up on me the other day too? do you know how happy I was when you answered?” he says, anger bleeding into hurt.

“I’m really sorry-”

“I’m not stupid y/n. I don’t like when you hide things from me, you know that.”

at this point, you make way towards the door but he holds onto your arm with a vice grip and shoves you back onto the toilet seat. he uses his body as a barrier so you can’t leave and you know there’s no use trying to get through.

“are you trying to make me bleed again?” you ask angrily, trying to mask how exposed and scared you feel.

“oh, don’t be dramatic, y/n. you’re not leaving until you tell me why you’ve been leaving me in the dust.”

“you’re the one being dramatic! just let me out of here!”

“I’ll let you out when I get what I want.”

“why does it matter to you anyway?”

“because I care about you!”

“you’re only saying that because you want to get between my legs.”

“that’s not true at all.”

“is it not? because that’s what it feels like.”

“you’re not being fair. let me remind you that it was me who’s been reaching out and you were the one who decides to respond after weeks of radio silence. how do you think that makes me feel?”

“I don’t know…you could’ve tried harder,” you mumble, already resigning to the fact he had already won this mini argument.

there was no point anyway. he had every right to be angry but you just hated confrontation especially when it came to him.

you were just too flustered and emotional now. you wanted to confess your feelings to him but didn’t want everything you had to collapse. you can’t look at him in the face now.

“y/n…look, I do care about you. so fucking much, actually and you have no idea.”

“jae, I care about you too but can we just not do this right now?”

“how else am I supposed to show you that I love you when you shut me out? you don’t know how much it killed me that you acted like I don’t exist to you.”

your whole body freezes at that stupid four letter word. it sounds so pretty coming from his tongue, but you don’t know if he means it the way you want it to.

he kneels on the ground so he is at eye level with you. he starts to cup his hands on your face.

“did I do something wrong? that’s all I want to know so I can fix it or try to do better.”

there’s no point in hiding anymore. when you open your eyes which have been shut closed, you see that hurt is written all over his face and it’s all your fault. your absence in his life has affected him just like it has affected you.

he just looks so sad yet so pretty and you want him to hold you and tell you it’ll all be okay. you want to kiss him, touch him, feel him, and most of all, make love to him.

“I love you, jae. I love you so much and I don’t know, every second I’m with you it gets worse because I know I won’t be more to you. I need you in a way that you can’t even imagine.”

“y/n, I-”

“LET ME FINISH!” you cut him off.

he looks taken aback at first, but then just gives a weak nod and smile to let you continue.

you start rambling: “I… I just am going through a lot mentally too and I didn’t want to ruin what we had by saying anything so for some reason it just made more sense to ignore you and hope that it would go away and-”

all of a sudden, jaehyun smashes his lips onto yours.

it’s passionate, more fervor than usual. it’s like he’s putting his all into this kiss and you just melt into him, fingers running through his hair as his hands travel to your back to pull you in closer.

“I… love you too…y/n…” he moans in between kisses.

when you both pull away, he starts to plant soft kisses along your neck that begin to travel up to your ear.

“do you need me to show you how much I love you, princess?” he whispers.

“p-please, jae… I want you…”

with no hesitation, he carries you into your room.

he then sits on the edge of the bed as you stand before him. the both of you scramble to get some clothes off and then latch onto each other like magnets—skin on skin, lips on lips.

like clockwork, you straddle your legs over his lap. you roll your hips into his and whimper at the feeling: your bare folds rubbing against his boxer briefs. one of his strong hands holds onto your lower back as the other supports the back of your neck.

the kissing is laced with carnal desire, as if you both wanted to eat the other whole. your hips move faster in response and you're both moaning into each other’s mouth. you can feel how hard he is and also how your wetness stains and seeps into the fabric.

he pulls away to trail kisses down your neck, leaving his signature love bites and marks.

once he reaches your chest, he places soft kisses before unclasping your bra like he has done many times before. but this time, you notice the look of lust and love in his eyes as they scan your body. maybe it’s always been like that and you hadn’t noticed it. your heart swells at this and you caress his cheek.

his mouth then attacks your chest with passion and you arch your back to push your body more into his. your hips are now moving in sweet circles and your mind is clouded with how good it all feels—how much fulfilling it is now that you know that he loves you back.

“my princess, so beautiful,” he coos, before grabbing you and pinning your back against the bed.

as your back lays falt, he trails kisses down your chest, stomach, and around your plush thighs. his face then makes contact with your pussy and he watches it with hungry eyes. your body quite literally trembles just knowing he is just mere centimeters away from tasting you.

“you don’t know how long I’ve waited for this,” he confesses.

he notices you bite your lip in anticipation. the adrenaline courses through your veins as pleasure awaits you.

“maybe, I should just… I don’t know… not do this and let you see what it feels like to be left wanting.”

“baby, I’m really sorry. please don’t tease me right now,” you whine.

“you deserve this, just a little bit,” he says before blowing air right onto your dripping folds.

you clench on nothing as he smirks at you.

“I hate you,” you moan.

“I thought you loved me?”

“two things can be true at once.”

“say you love me or else I’m not going through with this.”

“but–”

“SAY it.”

you forgot how commanding he could be in bed and it has you clenching again at nothing.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he says, content.

and just like that, he dives right into tasting you finally. the months apart had done a number on you because his mouth felt infinitely better than it ever did. it was like his thirst hadn’t been quenched in years.

it felt spiritual, as if his movements came straight from the heavens above and all you could do was lay there and take in all of his love—and anger.

it didn’t take long before you began grasping onto the locks of his now longer hair, shoving him in further to reach your high faster.

however, he pulls away with a quickness. you groan at the feeling of pleasure being snatched away from you.

“sorry, angel, but I need you to cum on my cock this time… need to feel you unwind all over me.”

you watch and rub your legs together as he slides his briefs down just enough to reveal his pretty cock, pink tip glistening with love—all because of you and all for you.

you whine when he starts to coat himself in your arousal, his thick length catching against your clit as he rubs against your folds with tenderness.

“jae…”

“feels good, yeah?”

“fuck… need you now, jae,” you whine.

“you ready?”

“yes. only and always for you.”

“that’s my baby.”

your hands grip your bed sheets as he slides inside of you. you’ll honestly never get used to just how big he is. even when he bottoms out, it takes time for the pain to eventually blossom into pleasure as he moves his hips rhymically into yours.

it’s not rough and needy but more soft and careful. he really takes his time to feel all of you and give it to you so good. your hands rub and down his slender back as he makes the most intimate and precious love to you. and you love how his gold chain brushes up against your face with every delicious stroke.

it has you so weak and your head feels so fuzzy—the feeling is indescribable.

“my pretty angel, my girl… taking me so well. fuck, you were made for me.”

you can only offer a loud moan in response and your walls clench harder onto him automatically.

“keep doing that and I’m gonna cum inside you, baby. you want that?”

“yes, baby. oh my god, yes please. I want it so fucking bad.”

“then take it.”

he slips two of his fingers into your mouth and you suck on them with all your might. his eyes watch you in amazement and passion.

your body trembles as he continuously hits that sweet spot.

and just like that, you feel the euphoria coming to you in waves. he knows it and laughs softly, removing his soaked fingers from you mouth.

“you’re almost there, angel?”

“y-yes,” you moan.

“I can feel it. I know you’ve missed this. isn’t that right?”

“missed you so much…” you mewl, feeling tears about to form in your eyes.

“missed you too, baby. fuck…” he says and gives your forehead a quick, reassuring peck.

you claw your nails into his back as he picks up the pace—to help you reach that pleasure point. you wrap your legs around him instinctively and succumb to the overwhelming feeling of his love.

“I’m coming, ahh. I’m…”

you scream as the pleasure burns all over your body. jaehyun doesn’t falter for a second, only going faster, even though his own orgasm follows immediately after—his warm load filling you up as you finish all over him.

“so…good…that’s it…” he chokes out.

“I love you!” you scream.

“love you… I love you,” he whimpers as he slows down.

you’re extremely sensitive at this point and you whine as jaehyun refuses to stop, still rutting his hips into you: pushing in every last drop.

“I’m not done yet. you’ve denied me perfection for so long.”

“jae…baby…”

“shhh…angel, just need you to take it. can you do that for me?”

“y-yeah.”

“good girl, that’s a good girl,” he coos.

all of a sudden, his body shifts as he pushes your legs back to your chest, guiding you guys into a mating press position.

“it h-hurtsss…” you whine.

you felt like your body was going to snap in half, truly.

“I know, baby. but it’ll feel better, you just have to trust me.”

“ok, baby.”

“you’re perfect,” he says. “you’re my baby, right?”

he then pistons his hips into you with force and you just moan quietly: “I-I’m your baby.”

“I know that’s right,” he says, letting out a breathy moan. “open up for me.”

you do as he says and your jaw falls slack open. a lengthy string of spit drops into your mouth and you just take it.

his cock feels excruciatingly perfect like this. he is so deep inside of you and you feel like his love is going to suffocate you in the most tender way.

“you’re doing great, angel. just give me all your stress. let it all out.”

his lips find purchase on yours and you melt into him again.

your mind now is only full of thoughts of him, but positive ones for once. you feel… fulfilled and alive again. like this, he is taking off so much weight off your shoulders.

and thus, you cannot help how healing this feels and the tears that drip down your face as a result. jaehyun kisses them as they fall and doesn’t let up his pace.

“you’re mine… my angel. you belong to no one else but me. right, pretty?”

“I’m yours,” you mewl.

“say it again.”

“yours, jae, yours,” you babble, now feeling overwhelmed by the pressure in your core about to snap.

“can you open for me like you did before, baby?” he asks. and you immediately drop your jaw to invite his spit in again.

“you’re MY girl. this is MY pussy. you are MINE. f-finally…” he groans, emphasizing those specific words with harder thrusts.

“I love you, jae. fuck, I love you so much. I can’t live without you. I want…” you whine. you can’t finish the sentence from just how good it all feels.

“say you’re mine again, p-please. I’m gonna-”

“I’M Y-YOURS,” you scream as the orgasm suddenly unfolds with searing heat all over your body.

your arms and legs latch around him to keep him in place, to stop him from moving. the clench of your walls does him in instantaneously. you feel so full of him as he unloads himself in you. his pace stops immediately as you suck him dry for all he’s worth.

the amount of I love you’s exchanged in these moments were too many to count, but you knew you didn’t want him out of you any time soon.

“can we stay like this, please?” you whisper, kissing his neck. “I feel safe and warm.”

“if that’s what you want, then I’m all for it,” jaehyun says reassuringly.

you hold each other, bodies so intimately connected together, as sleep eventually washes over the both of you.

the night ends with love, this time, steeped with passion and desire.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

JANUARY, WEEK 3, THE NEXT DAY

—MINI EPILOGUE—

it is three in the afternoon when you wake up. jaehyun is nowhere to be seen in the room.

immediately, you jump out of bed to look for him, heart already sinking to the floor. but those feelings of fear vanish when you see him standing pretty in your kitchen, wearing an apron you forgot you even owned, cooking up something that smelled utterly delectable.

you basically run over to him and hug him from behind, pressing the side of your face against his back.

“you scared me.”

“I did? I’m sorry about that.”

“I thought you left me.”

“I would never do that, not now, when I finally have you for myself.”

his words are reassuring and comforting. maybe that is what you needed in your life.

you find out later that he fixed your car that morning and cleaned up the glass pieces in the garage from the broken vase. and you realize that even though he cannot necessarily “fix” you or your problems entirely, he wants to help you get better. and you shouldn’t run away and deny the support because you would do the same for him.

there are small feelings in this world that will eat you up and spit you right out, but there are also small feelings that, over time, will help you become a better person. the key is to recognize each one and feel them all the way through: let them run their course. with jaehyun, you were able to deal with those emotions and feelings together.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘˗ˏˋ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˎˊ˗∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

a/n: thank you for getting through this mess of a fic oh my god. sorry for the rushed and corny ass ending (and the lack of editing). but this has been sitting in my drafts since february and I just want to be rid of it.

I have just been going through so much lately and it's taking everything in me to not just end my shit likeee. also who peeped that twilight-esque time skip LMFAOOOO

anyways let me stop being big and rude. please lmk if you liked this or if you have any requests (my inbox is always open!) love yall <3

DILF!JAEHYUN AAAAAAAAAAPLPSOXOOSWYFGCUCTX VUIBUVUVXYXHCHVICXCVOLWLWKSLDKXKSKSMWKLSODXOSOEKWKWJWHJSISOSOSOSKLWLSLSKSJSKSKSKSKQKKSKSKDKSKWKWKSKDXKXKIXOSPWPEPEMWNBGYYIWKKWKWLSDLSKQLMQNKWLWPWLWKKSIXKSKMWKWLSLKSKSKWMSKSKSKSKWKSKSKSLSWLLWLWKSKXKXKJSKWNWKSKSKZKAKSKSKSLSKWKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKKSKSSJQJWJWJSJSBBS

trick or treat - j. jaehyun

→ jeong jaehyun x neighbour! reader

-> dilf! jaehyun au

→ CW: dom! jaehyun, breeding kink (jae's horny, i'm horny, everyone if fucking horny), age gap (reader is in mid-20’s and jae is a divorced 29yo Jae), unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, handjob, oral (f receiving), praising, pussy slapping, biting, spit kink, oral fixation (jae), there are some cringey lines (i'm sorry but i wanted to have them in there but i didn't know how else to phrase them T-T), jae's thick in this one guys :D

-> a/n: omg haii ^-^ okay so this one isn't necessarily halloween related but his kid in the fic is going trick or treating so it counts!!! Jae is DOWN BAD in this one y'all. also just an fyi, this one has a lot more dialogue since they have more of a relationship and it's not just mindless sex this time?? but there still is quite a lot of sex??? okok enjoyyyyyy

-> wc: 6k

-> upcoming: switch! yuta (playboy yuta :) will explain more on that later) psst! requests are open!!

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jaehyun’s face dropped as he read the email he had just been sent. Cursing under his breath, the man pushed away from his desk and poked his head out the door. 

“Hayoung,” he said. The woman at the desk looked up at him and from the look on her face, she knew what he was going to ask.

“Sir, I’m so sorry…” and she truly did sound sincere. “Gongmyung had no other times available to meet. He’s leaving for London tomorrow morning.” 

Jaehyun pursed his lips as he nodded. He felt awful that he couldn't take Subin out tonight, but he had one idea that could make his daughter feel better. 

The man checked the watch on his wrist, reading the time as 5:30pm. If he left now, Jaehyun could be at Subin’s school for 6:15pm to pick her up from daycare, talk to her, and bring her home for 6:45pm before he had leave the house by 7:30 to be back at the office for 8:00 pm to meet the clients for dinner. 

 “Alright, I have to leave now, but I’ll be back in time for the meeting.” Hayoung looked as if she was going to object, but instead she just nodded her head. Jaehyun grabbed his jacket from his office before pulling his phone out from his pocket. As he walked to the elevator, he scrolled through his contacts, searching for your name. 

As Jaehyun stood, waiting for the elevator, his heart raced with both the urgency of the situation and the lingering nervousness he got when you spoke. His thumb hovered over the call button when he hesitated. He took a deep breath and leaned against the glass railing behind him, feeling a pang of worry gnaw at him. Would he be imposing on you once again?

The elevators hummed softly as they stopped at different floors of the building while Jaehyun debated with himself, the prospect of the impending meeting weighing heavily on his shoulders. He decided to call you, but not just for Subin’s sake, for his too.

“Hello?” Your voice on the other end had a certain warmth, and it sent a shiver down Jaehyun’s spine.

“Hey,” Jaehyun let out a sigh at the sound of your soft voice. His voice tinged with the tension that had been building in the pit of his stomach ever since he received that email.

“What’s wrong? You sound stressed.”  You grew concerned when you realised how his voice was quieter than usual.

“It’s just work stuff…” Jaehyun’s shoulders slumped. “I really hate to ask you this,” And he really did. “I was wondering if you could watch Subin tonight? I know it’s Halloween, and it’s super last minute, but I was just scheduled for a meeting, and you’re the only one she’d want to go with.” the disparity in his voice ran deep, but you didn’t have any plans anyways, so why not?

“Of course, Jae.” You said, and the man sighed with relief. “What did she dress up as for school?” The calmness in your voice soothed Jaehyun’s nerves. The elevator sounded as it arrived. After the doors opened, Jaehyun entered and leaned against the wall as he felt a strange mix of emotions. 

“She decided she was going to be Elsa and when we went trick or treating, she wanted me to be Anna.” There was a moment of silence, but Jaehyun already knew what was about to happen. As the man closed his eyes momentarily, you burst out laughing on the other line.

“You were really going to dress up as Anna for her?” you asked, your voice was laced with amusement that made Jaehyun chuckle. 

“It was either that or Quasimodo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame.” A hand ran over Jaehyun’s face in embarrassment, remembering the conversation he had with his seven year old daughter last month when they were discussing costume ideas. 

“What, did she want to be Esmerelda?” you asked with a scoff.

“No, she wanted to be Laverne.” Jaehyun groaned, wondering from whom his daughter gets her ideas from.

“The gargoyle?” you cried. You held the phone away from your ear as you laughed loudly, clutching your stomach. 

“Yeah,” the man replied, looking at his shoes with a smile, the sound of your laughter resonating with him. “How much do you want me to pay you?” he asked as he walked out the elevator and to the entryway of the building. He waved to the secretaries and to those who greeted him with a smile.

You tried to reason with him, arguing that you didn’t need the extra compensation, but Jaehyun’s insistence on repaying your kindness only heightened the nagging tensions between the two of you.

“Jae, you really don’t have to, you know I’d do anything for you guys.” Your voice was gentle, “You know I feel bad asking you to watch her without paying you.” Jaehyun’s voice dropped lower, carrying an undertone of a deeper emotion with it. 

As he exited the building, silently thanking the valet driver for his keys.

“But I’m telling you that you don’t have to.”

Your attempt to reason with him was met with Jaehyun’s unwavering determination. “We’ll talk about it later.”

With no room for further discussion, you conceded, “I’ll see you at seven, then.”

“I’ll see you then.” Jaehyun confirmed, the tension settled down thickly in the air.

“Bye, Jae.” You said softly. 

“Bye, y/n.” Jaehyun replied, the sudden strain in his voice giving way to a sense of longing as he entered his car.

Sitting in the driver’s seat, Jaehyun gripped the steering wheel and looked down, feeling a slight strain in his pants. “Jesus fucking Christ…” the man muttered. “What am I, twelve?” his head fell back against the headrest in frustration. 

Jaehyun rolled down the window before he began to drive, in hopes that the cold breeze would clear his mind of the thought of you, and focus on what was more important: trying to find a way to tell Subin that he can’t take her trick or treating. 

-

By the time Jaehyun had parked in the school parking lot, he had nothing. He still didn’t know how to tell his daughter the news. Taking a deep breath, Jaehyun pushed open the car door and got out of the vehicle before locking it and heading to the waiting area. 

Minutes later, the bell rang and children of all ages flooded out the doors. Jaehyun stood amidst the sea of children pouring out of the school, his eyes scanning the crowd for a familiar little girl in an Elsa costume. He spotted her soon enough, her blonde wig glistening in the autumn sun, and a smile spread across his face. Subin was chatting excitedly with her friends, and he knew he had to break the news gently. 

He approached her, kneeling down to her eye level. “Hey, princess,” he greeted her with a warm smile. 

Subin’s face lit up at the sight of her father. “Daddy!” she squeaked and launched herself into his arms. Jaehyun laughed as he almost stumbled onto the floor, but his arms wrapped around his daughter tightly. 

“Come on, let’s get you to the car.” Jaehyun stood up carefully with his daughter still in his arms. As he walked, Jaehyun sucked in a deep breath before he told his daughter the bad news. “Subin, about tonight…”

The girl looked up at him with curious eyes. “What is it, Daddy?”

Jaehyun cleared his throat, trying to find the right words. “Well, I know how much you were looking forward to trick or treating tonight, and I was really excited too, but something came up at word.” He paused, gauging her reaction.

Subin’s smile faded, and her brows furrowed. “Do you have a meeting tonight, Daddy?”

Jaehyun’s heart felt like it was breaking off piece by piece. “I’m so sorry sweetheart, I tried to reschedule it for later, I really did, but it didn’t work out.” Jaehyun frowned, but his daughter smiled. 

“It’s okay, Daddy. Do you think you’ll be back to watch HalloweenTown with me?”

“I’ll do my best, okay? I promise I’ll make it up to you sweetheart.” Jaehyun promises. “Until I come back home, I asked the lady from the floor below us to watch you, you remember her, right?”

“The pretty lady you invite over every weekend? I remember her.” Subin nodded, unaware of how red her fathers ears had turned.

“She doesn’t come over every weekend.” Jaehyun mumbled, looking away from his daughter as they arrived in front of the car. 

“She does… Dohwa even asked me if she was my mom.”

“Oh…” he replied simply. Jaehyun stayed silent as he sat his daughter in the booster seat behind the passenger’s side, the thought almost consuming him. 

Dohwa asked if she was her mom…

After he clicked her seatbelt in, Jaehyun shut the door and headed for the driver’s seat, still entirely thinking of you… as a mother…

The man paused right as he was about to open the door when he felt the same stiffness from earlier, and he had to stop himself from screaming curses at the sky. Jaehyun closed his eyes and swallowed harshly before he opened his eyes and entered the car like nothing had happened to him.

“Daddy, can we listen…”

“Of course,” Jaehyun gave his daughter a smile through the rearview mirror. He knew exactly what the kid was asking for, and with a few presses of some buttons, the intro of the infamous ‘Let it Go’ from the Frozen soundtrack was blasting from the speakers, and Subin was belting out the words.

The rest of the ride was filled with more Frozen, which consisted of duets, the respective solo’s of both Jaehyun and Subin, and the booing of Hans whenever he sang in Love is an Open Door. 

Jaehyun had arrived at the condo building at 6:45pm, “Right on schedule,” he said to himself as he walked to the other side of the car to help his daughter out of the car. “Come on, sweetie,” he said, lifting her into his arms. With how adorable she was in her Elsa costume, he was determined to make it up to her for the missed trick or treating.

After a quick elevator ride, they reached his penthouse. The elegant, modern space was impeccably decorated, a reflection of Jaehyun’s refined taste. 

“What d’ya want to eat before the pretty lady gets here, Miss Elsa?” Jaehyun asks Subin, who was already halfway to the kitchen. He followed behind her and held the door open for her as she entered. “Goldfish…” she said hungrily, causing a laugh to escape from Jaehyun’s lips.

“Goldfish it is, then.” The man took a bowl from one of the cabinet’s before he scanned his pantry for the snack that was requested. While Jaehyun looked, he heard Subin squeal with excitement. A mix of confusion and concern churned through Jaehyun, so he tried to be quick with his search and found them on the top shelf. 

“Subin, I found them…” Jaehyun stopped in his tracks when his eyes found yours.

“Hey Jae,” you smiled, your insides twisting at his current state. He’d come from the office, you knew that already, but seeing him in that suit definitely messed with you a bit.

“Hey,” Jaehyun couldn’t help the way his heart raced at the mere sight of you. You were holding a neatly folded Anna costume in your arms, and the smile you gave him made his heart skip a beat. “You’re early.” he said. Although he looked quite distracted, Jaehyun still managed to pour Subin her goldfish and hand the bowl to her.

“Yeah, I just thought I’d come by a little early to see if Subin needed help with her costume.” Your innocence warmed Jaehyun and forced a smile onto his lips.

“That’s really thoughtful, thank you.’

“Don’t even mention it.” you said.

“Pretty lady, are you going to put your costume on now?” Subin interjected while she munched on the small crackers. 

Jaehyun shuddered lightly, realising his daughter had just watched that whole interaction, even though she probably didn’t register what was going on. 

At least that’s what you both hoped.

“Oh! Yes, yes, I will go do that. So, give me a few minutes, yeah?” you winked at her which earned you a big grin from the little girl.

“You can change in the guest bathroom.” Jaehyun blurts. “I’ll show you where it is.”

“Yeah, yeah, sounds good.”

Jaehyun walked out first, but it didn’t take long for you to catch up to him. You walked silently up the stairs and down the hall until you reached the room. 

“Let me know if you need anything,” he said.

You thank him before you enter the bathroom, one you’ve definitely seen before. You set the costume down on the counter and begin to undress. Everything was going well until it came down to actually doing up the back of the dress.

“Jaehyun?” you raised your voice ever so slightly, just to check if he was still there, and in a heartbeat there was a soft knock on the door. 

“You called?” His voice was a bit muffled from being on the other side of the door, but you opened the door, finding him leaning against the door frame. 

“Could you help me with this?” you asked with a hand across your chest to keep your dress from falling. 

Jaehyun looked away from your eyes, suddenly feeling very warm in the face and ears. “Yeah, could I come in?”

You moved so he had room to enter, and you shut the door almost immediately after and locked the door. Your back was facing Jaehyun, but you were watching him through the mirror. You felt bold until his dark eyes met yours in the reflection, and since then, his gaze didn’t leave yours.His heart raced as he looked into your eyes, and his fingers trembled slightly as he began to tie the strings at the back of your dress. 

The tension in the air only grew stronger as his fingers brushed lightly against your skin, and your breath hitched. You couldn’t help but steal a glance over your shoulder, meeting Jaehyun’s gaze once again.

“Done…” he gulped, holding your stare. It was a moment where words were no longer necessary, and the attraction between you two was undeniable.

Jaehyun leaned in closer, his lips brushed against the nape of your neck. Your heart raced, and you tilted your head slightly, granting him access to your skin. His kisses were gentle, sending shivers down your spine, and his arms which had wrapped around your waist, had become your new form of support. 

As he continued to trail soft, lingering kisses along your neck, Jaehyun whispered, “You’re making it hard for me to focus on anything other than you.”

You turn around to face him, your lips dangerously close to his. “Maybe that’s the point,” you replied with a mischievous glint in your eyes. 

With a surge of longing, Jaehyun closed the small distance between your lips and his. The kiss was passionate and electric, and yet still so familiar from the previous ones you’ve shared from almost every weekend for the past three months.

One of Jaehyun’s hands cupped your cheek as the other snaked down to your waist, pulling you in closer. He felt the heat of your body merge with his, and his heart raced as he deepened the kiss. Your hands were tangled in his hair, and the taste of his lips sent a wave of euphoria through your body. 

Jaehyun pulled away, but only slightly. His forehead was still pressed against yours, and he whispered, "I could kiss you like this forever."

Your lips curled into a small smile and you replied, "I wouldn't mind it."

With that, Jaehyun kissed you again, and this time it was more desperate, more passionate. He moved his lips hungrily against yours, exploring and tasting your mouth. You let out a soft moan as his hands moved to your lower back, and your kiss became more passionate.

His hands moved to the small of your back, and he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. You felt the warmth of his body against yours, and you melted into his embrace. 

He carried you to the counter, and sat you down on the cold marble, and your arms tightly wrapped around him. You could feel his heart pounding against your chest, and the intensity of the kiss was enough to make your head spin. You felt like you were in some kind of trance, and you welcomed it with all your heart.

With his hips in between your legs, you reached out your hand to palm his growing erection through his pants. Jaehyun pulled away from the kiss, letting his head fall back in pleasure.

“God, baby, I got hard twice today because of you.” You hummed in response, slowly undoing Jaehyun’s belt and freeing his cock from his boxers. Bringing your hand to your mouth, you spit into it before lubing up his dick with it.

You started to move your hand up and down, slowly stroking his shaft and Jaehyun let out a low moan. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily, his hips starting to move in time with your hand. 

Your hand closed over the tip, stroking it in circular motions before you moved your hand to jerk off the rest of his length. You increased the speed of your hand, Jaehyun's breathing getting heavier with each stroke. You could feel how hard he had gotten, and you smiled as you continued to pleasure him. Feeling your spit start to dry up, you started to use more of your hand, your fingers tracing circles around the head of his cock. Jaehyun's hands were gripping the material of your costume tightly, and you could feel his hips twitching with each of your strokes. 

You moved your hand faster, your thumb now rubbing circles around Jaehyun's most sensitive spot, and he let out a loud moan as he was about to cum, but before he could, a timer went off.

“Fucking christ,” You both sighed out of disappointment, and Jaehyun rested his forehead against yours.

"I have to go," he said, regretfully. He quickly fixed himself up and helped you off the counter.

“What if you’re still hard during your meeting, though?” You joke while your fingers toyed with his belt loops. 

He chuckled, and kissed you one last time before reluctantly pulling away.

“I’ll figure something out." You pouted, and he leaned in to give you one last peck on the lips before he grabbed his phone and unlocked the door. "I'll see you soon. I promise." He said before slipping out of the door. 

You sighed and smiled to yourself, savouring the moment. You felt more alive than ever.

Sliding off the counter, you turned and inspected your face to make sure you didn’t go back to Subin looking like a hot mess. 

“Pretty lady!” Subin yelled as you walked down the stairs. The young girl squealed as she ran to wait for you at the edge of the steps. She gushed at you once you had fully arrived in front of you. “You look so pretty!”

“Thank you sweetheart.” you said as you ruffled her hair. “Ready to go?” you asked her with a grin. Subin nodded frantically and grabbed your hand before she darted towards the elevator, her candy bag in the other hand waiting to be filled to the brim with treats.

“Trick or treating!” she cheered and jumped with excitement, and your heart warmed at the sight.

-

“Thank you so much for your time Gongmyung.” Jaehyun smiled as he shook the older man's hand. 

“Of course! The pitch was great, so our lawyers will be in contact with yours very shortly.” 

Jaehyun saw the man out of the smile and one final bow before he looked down at his watch. It was 9:30pm.

‘They should be home by now.’ Jaehyun thought as he got in his car and began to drive home. 

It only took him about twenty minutes to get home from the restaurant, and by the time he reached the penthouse, he found you sitting on the couch with his daughter sleeping peacefully next to you, her head resting on your thigh. 

“Hey,” you smiled up at him. Jaehyun mirrored your expression as he sat down next to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. 

“When did she pass out?” Jaehyun’s fingers drew circles against your arm as you leaned into him. 

“About an hour ago? She already brushed her teeth, we were just watching The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Jaehyun looked at you, his brows scrunched closer together.

“Is that not a Christmas movie?” 

“Tsk… no one knows what it is or isn’t.” you said, jutting out your bottom lip before Jaehyun pecked your cheek. “I think I’m gonna put Subin to bed… show me to her room?” You slowly moved in a way that wouldn’t disturb the little girl too badly, and you brought her to your chest and rested her head on your shoulder. Both you and Jaehyun stood and you cautiously walked up the stairs and down the hall. 

Jaehyun opened the door, revealing a baby pink room with toys and stuffed animals astray. 

“This room is so…”

“Scary?”

“Her,” you shot Jaehyun a dirty look which made him laugh. “Not too loud, idiot.” you scolded him when you felt Subin stir at the loud noise. Cradling her head, you ordered Jaehyun to pull her bed covers back. Gently, you set the girl down before tucking her in. You stepped back to watch Jaehyun crouch beside her head and plant a light kiss on forehead. He sat there for a few seconds, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. With one last peck goodnight, he got up and smiled softly at you before he took your hand in his and led you out of the room.

With the lights off in Subin’s room and her door shut, the two of you stood in the hallway, staring into each other’s eyes. 

“Thank you, again, for watching her.” Jaehyun stepped closer to you. You noticed how his tone dropped, how his hands squeezed yours gently, and how his eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips. 

“Like I’ve said, you don’t have to thank me… but you can show me your appreciation in a different way.” you teased and hooked your fingers around his belt loop like you did earlier.

Jaehyun smirked devilishly, leaning in to kiss your neck. His hands moved around your waist, dipping lower until he cupped your ass. 

As he trailed kisses along your neck, he paused to nibble and suck on your sensitive skin. His hands moved up your back, tugging your hips even closer to his. You felt your own arousal growing as his lips moved from your neck to your lips, his tongue pushing its way into your mouth. You moaned against his lips as your hands found their way into his hair, fingers curling around the strands of his hair. 

“We shouldn’t do this out here…” you said breathlessly, and Jaehyun groaned in agreement.

He pulled away and took your hand, leading you to the guest room. Your pulse was racing as he pushed open the door, and you both stepped inside. He pulled you close and kissed you deeply, while your hands moved to the back of his neck, tugging him in closer as your lips moved together in an urgent, passionate kiss. His hands travelled their way down your body, exploring your curves as you explored his. He trailed kisses down your neck, making you gasp as his teeth lightly grazed your skin. You groaned in pleasure as you felt his erection growing against your belly.

He grabbed your hair and pulled it back, his face hovering close to yours. "Tell me what you want," he growled.

You bit your lip and smiled, your desire rising with each passing second. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "I need you to fuck me."

He groaned and pulled you closer, his hands roaming your body. His lips brushed against your ear as he responded in a chuckle, “Waited all day for you to say that to me.”

In an instant, Jaehyun brought you towards the bed, a fire raging in his eyes. You were both eager to get undressed, and you started with his shirt. You reached to undo the buttons of his suit and slowly started undoing them, never breaking away from his embrace. Jaehyun’s breaths were heavy and rushed as you finally released his shirt and pulled it off his body. 

His hands moved to your shirt and he proceeded to do the same with you, slowly pulling your shirt off and tossing it aside. He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, his lips finding yours again. His hands were frantic as they roamed your body, the intensity of his kiss growing with each passing moment.

He leaned back and pulled you with him, the two of you standing there in nothing but your underwear. His eyes were ablaze with desire and he stepped forward, pushing you back onto the bed. He leaned over you and slowly trailed his lips down your body, his hands massaging your curves as he made his way down.

He pulled back and looked into your eyes, his own filled with a primal hunger. With one hand, he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, his lips finding yours again as the other hand found itself making its way down your navel, all the way to your pussy. His thumb took to your clit, drawing small circles on it.

The friction felt electric, you couldn’t help but shiver at his cold hands touching such sensitive parts. A soft moan escaped your lips as your hips involuntarily arched towards his touch. His thumb moved faster, increasing the intensity of the pleasure. You felt pleasure radiating through your body, slowly building to an unstoppable force. Your breathing became shallow, your heart raced, and all you could do was surrender to the sensations. His thumb began to move with more intensity, each circle growing wider and wider. His touch was gentle yet demanding, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through your veins. The hand that had your wrists in a tight grip suddenly let go, but it moved to your hip and he grabbed firmly, steadying you as his thumb continued to bring you closer to the edge. 

You could feel his breath against your neck, his fingers digging into your hips as he moved them. Suddenly, he slapped you hard on your pussy and you gasped in surprise. The repeated action brought you close to tears. As your jaw hung open from a mix of surprise and pleasure, Jaehyun saw this as the perfect opportunity to do the thing you love. Hovering just slightly over your mouth, he let his saliva drop into your mouth, and he watched with a smirk as your jaw shut immediately, swallowing what he gave you. 

His tongue soon found its way into your mouth, and you tasted the bitterness of his spit as it mingled with yours. His hands moved with purpose, sending waves of pleasure cascading through your body. 

You could feel the anticipation building in your body, and you could barely contain the moans that escaped your lips. You were so close to the pinnacle of pleasure, and his touch was the only thing that could get you there.

“Fuck, Jae… oh fuck.” you said as a signal to him that you were cumming. If that didn’t tell him, then the way your body shook definitely did. 

Not long after you came, Jaehyun sat himself in between your legs. Both of his hands moved to your thighs, pushing them apart as he knelt in front of you. He looked up at you with pure adoration and started to kiss and lick your inner thighs. 

Jaehyun kept one arm around your hips while the other explored your pussy, fingering you slowly. You gasped and hissed in pleasure as he teased your sensitive areas. He moved his mouth to your pussy and started to lick and suck in a tantalising rhythm. His tongue moved in slow circles, alternating between soft and hard strokes. 

The arm he kept around your wait found itself lazily dragging from your waist, up to your breasts. His nimble fingers squeezed and teased your nipples, not helping the fact that you were trying to keep your voice down– even though you were several rooms down from his daughter.

The back of your hand moved to cover your mouth as you moaned, while the other grabbed his head, pushing him deeper into you. He bit down on your labia and licked the sensitive skin around your clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. Jaehyun moved his fingers inside you, pushing them in and out in a steady rhythm, his thumb finding the spot that sent sensations of pleasure through your body. 

He then began to massage your clit with his tongue, circling it slowly and then faster and faster until you felt your toes curl in anticipation. His hands moved down to your hips, holding you tightly as he increased the pressure and speed of his tongue. 

You felt your muscles tensing and your breathing becoming more rapid as you got closer to the edge. His fingers moved faster and faster, stimulating you in all the right places. You moaned and gasped as your orgasm finally overcame you, your body shaking in pleasure.

“Came so quick.” Jaehyun stated, slowly moving his mouth back up to yours and kissed you passionately, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hands moved to your waist. 

He grabbed your hips and spread your legs wider, pushing his hard cock inside of you. He moved slowly at first, letting out a guttural moan as he entered you. 

He moved his hips in a circular motion, pushing himself deeper into you as he felt your tight walls stretching around his thickness. He felt as if he was being consumed by a blanket of pleasure, and he loved the feeling of being completely surrounded by you. With each movement, you could feel him stretching you out further, and the sensation made his body tremble with delight. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re doing so fucking well.” His breathing quickened as he felt the sensation of being fully engulfed inside of you, and the sensation of pleasure coursing through his body. He felt as if he were melting into you, becoming one with you as he moved faster and faster. 

He added a new layer of pleasure to his movements, as he sucked and licked on your nipples while he continued to thrust. His tongue felt like velvet on your skin, teasing and tantalising you with every movement. His hands moved to your back, caressing it with every thrust. 

You grasped his shoulders tightly as the sensations built up inside, and you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Finally, you threw your head back and let out a loud moan as you reached your climax, your pleasure washing over you. Jaehyun’s breathing became heavier, and you could feel his muscles tense up, his whole body shaking with pleasure.

“Fuck baby…” Jaehyun groaned, looking down at your pussy. “You’re so fucking full.” he bit his lip to stop himself from showing his smile, but it was useless– Jaehyun was grinning from ear to ear with pride. He watched as his cum dripped out of you, but with two fingers, he took whatever had leaked and shoved it back into you.

“Hey,” you said, grabbing his attention with his fingers still inside of you. “You gonna fuck me full of your cum, or what?”

Jaehyun almost lost it. Asking that of him was not the smartest idea, considering the fact that he’d do anything you told him to.

“Is this you asking to have my second kid? We’re not even together.” He joked as he sat himself with his back against his headboard. 

You knew what that meant.

Getting on your knees, you crawled on top of him and positioned yourself above his still very hard cock.

“I could do both…” you say without another thought.

“Oh baby,” he said, voice more seductive than you’ve heard before. “I’ll fuck you so hard, you’ll get pregnant right away.” And with that, he thrust upwards, shoving his thick cock into you.

You exclaimed in surprise, eyes going wide, but your hands flew to his shoulder, stabilising yourself as he moved inside of you. He moved long and slow, his hips rolling against yours, and you felt your pleasure building with each thrust. He reached down and grabbed your ass, squeezing the soft flesh as began to pick up his pace. His breathing became ragged as he went deeper and deeper into you. 

His hands moved higher, gently caressing your breasts, his lips lightly sucking and licking them. His fingers moved lower, rubbing and teasing your clit, and his tongue licked and sucked your nipples.

“Fuck, just look at you, your fucking tits bouncing…” he mumbled, his mouth watering at the sight. “Gonna get you pregnant with my baby, and your tits are gonna be so fucking big.” Jaehyun moaned at the thought. You felt his tongue flick against your nipples, and you gasped in pleasure as he teased them with his mouth.

As he sucked on your nipples, Jaehyun started to pick up the pace, pushing himself in and out of you. His hips moved in a perfect rhythm, each thrust sending a wave of pleasure through your body. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head, and your breath coming in ragged gasps. 

You could feel the heat building inside you as he continued to move. His hand moved down, rubbing against your clit as he moved, sending pleasure coursing through your veins. His thrusts were getting harder, and faster, and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

Just then, he pulled out of you and flipped you over onto your back. He stared into your eyes, holding your gaze as he penetrated you again. “Fuck Jaehyun, I need your cum.” You whined. His thrusts were more forceful now, and you could feel yourself moaning louder and louder as he continued to move inside of you.

He then started to move one of his hands up and down your body, playing with your nipples and lightly caressing your breasts. His tongue lapped at them, and you felt your body tense up as he sucked on them. He moved the other hand down to your clit again, rubbing it in circles as he moved inside of you. 

“Need to get you so fucking full.” Jaehyun spoke aimlessly as he fucked your cunt, his thrusts growing harsher by the second. You hummed at his words, equally as brainless as he was from the stimulation. 

You felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, and Jaehyun increased his thrusts, pushing himself deeper inside of you. He grabbed your hips and held you tight, pushing himself deep inside of you. You screamed out in pleasure, your orgasm ripping through your body, and he followed shortly behind, his body shaking in pleasure.

His moans grew louder and his thrusts became more intense, the pleasure becoming too much for him to handle. He felt his orgasm build up inside of him, and as he reached the peak, he let out a cry of pure ecstasy. Jaehyun slowly pulled out of you before he laid beside you.

Turning to face him, you both lay there for a few moments, your breathing ragged and your hearts pounded in your chests.

“I meant what I said…” Jaehyun said, his thoughts now cleared from his prior state of mind. “About being together. The baby too, but that can come later.”

“I like that idea,” you hummed and pressed your lips to his.

chained | jung jaehyun (M)

pairing. jung jaehyun x fem!reader

description. arrange marriages are long overdue. marriage is just a label that determines to tie you down, ruin you forever or be chained to someone for a lifetime. you tried to guess what's it gonna be, and you'll find out soon enough when you are put in a long way of realizing your feelings and the push and pull relationship with the son of your mother's bestfriend, jung jaehyun.

content. arrange marriage au, husband jaehyun!, slight angst, push and pull, fluff & smut

words. 10k

author's note. finally! I've been having so many doubts while writing this because I suddenly didn't know what to write and a lot has happened in my life. even uni gets so much worse as time goes by, but here we are. for the love of writing and for the love of jung jaehyun, chained is written. any kinds of feedback is appreciated. enjoy!

Another day means another time at the Jung's Residence. They were too kind, to be exact. That you doubt that it was your mother and Mrs. Jung's friendship. And you knew it was more than just that. Your mother had a very strong bond with Jaehyun's mother. They were best of friends. They were inseparable. However, you and Jaehyun were casual as friends.

As you grew up, and even matured, you knew the frequent visits and dinners are more than just a gathering. It was an agreement. Both made by your parents. Or your mother. She was pretty eager on getting a bloodline like the Jungs.

"Don't you think they should get sick of each other by now?" Jaehyun asks and you chuckle in response, "I've been waiting for that moment since Highschool."

Both you and Jaehyun brushed all the confusion off. You thought it was all friendship and family thing because it took them years before finally laying it before you.

Now, Jaehyun is the Director of Jung INC. And as for you, you took a job as a manager in a bank, which was despised by your parents. You settled for a quiet and normal job. Despite having a degree in business which can help your family's company but you want none of that, really.

Then one night, you suddenly have a position in your family's company. Your mother barging in your room to tell you something that you somehow expected but never believed to be true.

She holds your hand as you look at her through the light from your lamp, "You're gonna get married to Jaehyun, darling."

That's what she said. That was all. You couldn't say anything after she dropped the news and left you in your room like she didn't control your whole life by that one single decision.

And today, there is another gathering.

But this gathering is different. This was more...people. It was very crowded when you arrived. Most of the guests were smiling and looking at you like some piece of trophy, or luxury. You wouldn't know.

Your mother's smile is just as bright as the lights from the chandelier. She was elated, no, more than that. You roam your eyes around, you see Kim Doyoung walking towards you sporting a knowing smile.

"Hey, how have you been?" He says, earning a smile from you. Doyoung was always in your friends' circle of friends, not to mention that he is one of Jaehyun's closest friend. As for you, you weren't close either, just enough for a good talk.

"I'm good. How about you? I heard you're doing really...really good." Emphasizing your words because you've been hearing Doyoung's name being one of the beast in the business industry.

He laughs, his eye crinkles while he does as he drinks on his glass, "Well. Money makes me work." You laugh with him too.

He was so good in conversing that your talk got cut off by your Mother pestering you to find Jaehyun already. She pushes you to the halls after taking the staircase. "Check Jaehyun in his room. You know where he is and then come down if you're ready!" She cheerfully says as you start to walk towards the hall where Jaehyun's room is.

You were supposed to knock on the door, but it was slightly opened. And you weren't sure if you were just hearing things or something else. You peek on the space that was opened seeing nothing but the large windows on the side, then you heard the woman's whimpers and whines. Calling Jaehyun's name like a mantra.

It was then when it hit you.

They were having sex.

You carefully step back, walking very fast on the halls to the staircase down. Your heart beats fast and the panic seeps in. As you were hurriedly going down, you heard the announcement, "---Here to celebrate Y/N and Jaehyun's engagement!"

You froze, all eyes were now on you. Alone in the staircase. The guests eyes trailed behind you and they clapped and cheered, you looked behind you and seeing Jaehyun makes you sigh in relief. Releasing a smile and a nod, you go down the stairs with him following you.

Jaehyun's eyes changed. It was piercing through you. It was like he was accusing you of something. You couldn't wait to question that out.

People came to greet you both as you politely said your thank you's.

When you were left alone, Jaehyun grits his teeth. "Did you know about this?"

You quickly shake your head, "No, I had a hunch but I wasn't expecting this either."

"Bullshit, Y/N. I heard your Mom talking." You were taken aback. He was never that vulgar to you before. He was the sweet and gentle Jaehyun that you knew.

Well, not anymore since you heard the woman's voice in his room. Completely unlocking another image of him in your head that you have no business pondering over it.

"We can talk about this in private, Jae. You don't have to be so worked up right now in front of everyone. We'll find a way." You said calmly, soothing him in a way.

His expression relaxes and blurts out, "I'm sorry. I was just shocked and I heard them talking so I thought...." You nod, understanding him. You looked at him for a while, he always looked dashing in suits.

You and Jaehyun both opposed the marriage, but it was already settled. Mrs. Jung was just convinced by your Mom, for sure. Because technically, a Jung doesn't marry for convenience.

They do it for passion, or love. As what you heard.

But it was like fate. Jung INC had trouble keeping it because of the issues surrounding about Jaehyun’s father and the stocks, and your family's business was an asset. It was like a spoonful of blessings at once. And now, you and Jaehyun are married. In papers.

As foolish as it sounds, you got married. That night, you both agreed that you can both do whatever you want. In one condition, if you choose to be with another partner, you must be out of the public eye.

It's a disgrace after all, for you and for the Jungs.

Three months. You're married for three fucking months. And it’s been going on for a week now. You have your own residence with Jaehyun. You couldn't care less with him bringing his women around, but it was too frequent that it started to bother you.

You were having your morning coffee when a girl tumbled from the staircase, of course, she can't walk properly. You stared at her as she exits. Even though your room was on the other side of the hall, you could still hear her last night. Great escapade for her indeed.

Then came Jaehyun, in his suit. He looks disheveled. He smiles, a dimple showing. "Good morning, sweetheart. Coffee for me?" He says as you only look at him sternly.

You placed the coffee on the counter, walking towards him with grace. His smile was slowly fading as you go near him. You reached and fixed his tie, focusing on it. He sighs.

Now, you look at him straight in the eye, running your fingers through his hair, smoothing it.

Jaehyun only looks down at you, attentive at your movements. "Can you bring them some other place? I'm having trouble at night, Jaehyun."

He licks his lips and tilts his head, "You're doing really good at this, Y/N." He says meaningfully as you also tilt your head in curiosity, mirroring him. "Doing what? Playing housewife?"

He shakes his head, "I'll bring them some other place." He starts to walk to the front doors as you said your words a bit louder this time, "Be home at seven, please! We'll have dinner with your Mom."

Jaehyun only raised his hand in approval. You get back to your coffee on your counter, sipping a bit of it.

"Oh, dear. Jaehyun's been very good to you, right? My sweet son." Mrs. Jung or...Mom says to you.

You placed the roasted chicken on the center of the table, and looked at your wrist watch. "He should be here by now."

"He must be working hard. I heard your family's creating another branch. Are you handling that, dearie?" She inquires as you nod, "Yes. I'll be leaving in a month for that. I have to see things through."

"Good! You're finally doing what you do best." She says, a proud look is on her face. She must think that her son found the love of his life. Hate to break it to you, Mrs. Jung but what we have isn't love.

You didn't hear Jaehyun's car entering the gates, you just heard his footsteps made by his expensive shoes in the vast living room. His mother leaps with joy seeing his son walking towards the dining hall.

"Good evening, Mother." He kisses his mom's cheek as you look at him with a smile. Just a smile, he doesn't even know if it's real or not. Then he approaches you, wraps an arm on your waist and leans in for a quick kiss.

You wonder why you never get used to it. Every gathering and dinners, you always have to fake the intimacy. And with Jaehyun kissing you, you just couldn't get used to it. "How's my wife doing?" He says with a grin on his face, "Great as always, babe." You trailed off, placing a hand on Jaehyun's chest, "Why don't we sit down and have dinner? Mom?" You inquired as she smilingly sat on the side.

Jaehyun was still looking at you, he looks dazed and tired. Probably from all of this. You three all sat down and started to eat, Jaehyun's Mom had so many stories to tell and you both just had to listen. Had to laugh when it was needed and had to smile when it was worth it.

"Thank you for the great dinner, son. And of course, my beautiful daughter in law. Thank you." She says, kissing your cheek now, making you smile. "No worries, Mom. Visit us often. When I come home from the branch trip."

"Of course, dear!" She says, getting in her car and waving goodbye. Her car wasn't out of site from your gates yet.

Jaehyun faces your properly, his hands around your waist making you do the same. You look at him, eyebrows raising.

"What?" You asked, but he only looks at your lips. Seemingly in trance.

"I don't kiss dirty lips, Jaehyun." You whispered, pertaining to him kissing a girl just this morning.

"Mm, I don't kiss them. I fuck them." He said it like a whisper but you heard it clearly.

It all happened so fast and his lips are already crashing to yours. He nibbles on your lower lip eliciting a gasp from you, making you part your lips.

You have never been this intimate before.

Jaehyun placed your hand on his nape, resting it there as he deepens the kiss. His tongue explores your mouth expertly like he owns it. You let out a whimper, your hand on his nape now gripping his hair.

Jaehyun pulls away as he breathes, and you open your eyes, your chest heaving fast. He now glances at his Mom's car which is no longer in sight.

Clicking his tongue, he unwraps his arm around you. "Thank you for the dinner, Y/N." Jaehyun says, turning his back on you to head towards the door.

I don't kiss them. I fuck them.

His voice and his words linger on your mind as you stare at his back and realized one thing, he wasn't drunk at this dinner. He always was drunk. Because you could taste the whiskey every time he kisses you. This time, he didn't.

You were grateful. Your nights were peaceful and you noticed that Jaehyun was home even before seven. You don't usually spend dinner with him, just casual breakfasts that'll lead you to your works.

You wanted to make yourself a latte before having dinner but the rustling on the kitchen made you curious. You peek, seeing Jaehyun in your kitchen apron, cleaning the utensils he used. Perhaps he noticed that someone was staring or peeking from behind that he speaks, "Dinner?"

"Yeah, sure. What are you cooking?" Walking over to the counter now.

"I made lasagna, it should be eaten by now. You like lasagnas, right?" He inquires, finishing the dishes and heading to the covered platter of lasagna. He gets a plate and slices a part of it, putting it on the smaller plate.

He walks over to you with a fork in his hand and places the plate in front of you, "Taste it."

You tilted your head to the side before glancing at him and back to the plate, using the fork, you take a bite on the piece of lasagna.

Surprisingly, it was good. What can he not do, really? That's why all women go crazy over him. He's intelligent, talented, and what more? Yes, the looks. He's too good looking. You shake your head at your thoughts.

"Bad?" Jaehyun asks, a small glint of worry was on his face and you wave your hand abruptly. "No! No. It's so good. Thank you for this, can I have it tomorrow?" You say, eating another forkful of it.

He chuckles, "Of course. It's for you." He goes back to wiping the kitchen sink and it ends up with you eating what he served on your plate.

Since then, there were nights where you and Jaehyun would talk over dinner. Casual talks. Weird...but it somehow feels right for you.

"Mm-mmh, that what she said?" Jaehyun asks before sipping his glass of juice.

"Yeah. I was pretty shocked about that. They were so good together. I just hope it doesn't affect their department in any way." You eat the sliced steak, not noticing how Jaehyun looks at you while you talk.

"I was thinking-" Jaehyun was about to talk when your phone rang. It lights up and Johnny's name flashed on the screen. You picked it up without hesitations, "Hello?"

You excused yourself in front of him and cheerfully addresses the other person on the line. Jaehyun looks at you from his seat, thinking that there would be another time for you and him to talk.

After the phone call, you thanked Jaehyun for cooking another dinner and then headed to your separate rooms. You were getting ready for your flight tomorrow, you'll be on an island where another resort is in construction.

Perhaps you were too elated on going on that flight that you didn't have the time to say goodbye to Jaehyun. You looked at the window, realizing you're flying away and just shrugged, thinking that you and your husband weren't in that kind of stage. To know each other's whereabouts.

Jaehyun woke up, feeling lighter by the days. He's been good and he's been looking forward in waking up and cooking breakfast as days and weeks passed by.

He was in his usual thing, making another breakfast for the two of you when his phone rang. His brows arched, it was too early for a phone call.

"Yeah?" He answers as he hears a bunch of men on the line, "Hey, Jaehyun. It's Yuta. Taeyong's having a party tonight. You have to fucking come."

Jaehyun chuckles, "No, man. I can't."

Yuta snickers and laughs, "Come on! I heard your wife's out of town. Mess it up, man."

You're out of town. He tilts his head in confusion. No...

"Alright, man. I'll think about it." He didn't hesitate to end the call and quickly called your company number.

"Is my wife in?" Jaehyun sounded casual as possible. The other line clicks, recognizing him, "I'm sorry, sir. I'm afraid Mrs. Jung is unavailable for the rest of the week." Jaehyun abruptly ends the call again.

Fuck.

You arrived at the island. You were greeted by Seo Youngho which was Johnny on your contacts. One of the sole investor for this branch. He was tall and quite eloquent, and honestly, he is a better company than anyone else that is there for the construction.

"I think we can have another grill over there. It would be nice to have it near at the beach." Johnny nods as you suggest. It's been going on for a week now. Everyday in this island seems better but something was...off. It always felt like you’re missing something, or your days were very dull.

"If I was your husband, I could not let you leave me alone. I would fucking cancel everything just to be with you." Johnny laughs upon finishing his statement.

"Well, you're not my husband. Plus, I like him that way. Not too clingy." You retort with a wink, and you both laugh with your way of words.

Meanwhile, Jaehyun was having trouble because he can't reach you. Your number was unavailable and he was starting to get crazy. And the fact that you didn't even say anything to him before leaving? Fucking hell. He thinks.

Then he remembers.

Right. You two were not like that. You didn't have to know where he was when he was home late and he didn't need to know why you wouldn't say anything about your trip.

Quite fair.

Two weeks. It's already two weeks. You have nothing to do anymore but occationally visit the on going site. You were free to go home.

You kinda miss your own home, too. As weird as it sounds. So, you decided to go home. Saying goodbye to Johnny and that you'll both see each other again.

All smiles as your car enters the gates. You giggle as you walk your way to the front door, opening it.

It was silent, just like how it's supposed to be. But it was calming. It was home.

You expected Jaehyun to show up. It's still early after all so while waiting, you prepared some steak for dinner.

It's already six and you're done preparing. You just sat down on the sofa, watching the television to pass time. You didn't noticed how you dozed off already and you were awakened by the sound of Jaehyun's shoes on the tiled floor.

You rub your eyes as you stood up, casually saying, "Hey. Had dinner already?"

He wasn’t surprised to see you, he must’ve been informed that you were home.

"Yeah." He just nodded, glancing at you and the dining area then walking upstairs to head to his own room.

That went well.

You didn't know what feeling it was but your chest felt heavy and it was like something was poking a sharp knife on it. You sure slept with a heavy heart without knowing why.

In the other side of the hall, Jaehyun couldn't sleep. He saw you again after weeks. He fucking missed you. He didn't know how to show it.

Should he have approached you, kissed your cheek, and hugged you tight? Or just kiss you right then and there?

He didn't do none of that. He did what you have done. Stay casual. He couldn't bear to break the limits you both set.

And he damned himself for feeling that way. And how dare you to show up looking all good and cooked dinner when you left without saying anything? Jaehyun groans in frustration as he forces himself to sleep.

Morning came, the sunlight grazes on your face. You forgot to close the curtains last night. You were exhausted from the flight and from preparing the dinner you cooked yesterday.

Fuck. You haven't eaten anything because you waited for him, and you were foolish to head to your room and sleep.

To feel refreshened, you took a long bath. Only coming out in your robe to make your morning coffee.

You see Jaehyun on the counter, clicking his tablet and looking disappointed by it. "Everything going well?" You startled him by speaking suddenly.

He smoothly runs his eyes to your form, noticing the skin between the valley of your chest then proceeds to sip on his cup. "No shit. The interns are pretty bad this month."

"How so? Can I see?" You eagerly peek on the screen, Jaehyun gives you the tablet instead.

You lean your back on the counter as you scan the designs, not noticing the ribbon getting loose and it could reveal your insides any second now.

Jaehyun quickly puts his cup down and stands in front of you, his hands holding the ribbon of your robe. You look up to him as he genuinely looks down, tying it properly.

The tablet no longer has your attention. Jaehyun, who's inches close to you and tying your robe has your whole attention.

"Pretty bad, right?" He says, bringing his eyes to yours. He was pretty taken aback by how mezmerizing you look and how puzzled you are right now.

You don't know what to feel and what to do. You just said what you had to, "Jae," You start off, placing the tablet on the counter.

He leans closer, eyes looking at your lips. "Hmm?"

You exhale as you placed your hand on his shoulders, inhaling his scent as you also lean forward. Making your face an inch closer that you can smell his breath.

"Damn it." Jaehyun's the first one to lose his cool. He crashes his lips to yours, ravaging your mouth like it's his.

He cradles your face while he explores your mouth. Tongues clashing and bodies pressing together, wanting to feel more of each other.

Jaehyun's slides his free hand inside your robe, groping your breasts as his kisses traveled to your jaw down to your neck. You can't help but moan at the sensation he's giving you.

"Jaehyun, please." You plead, not knowing what you were pleading for. Jaehyun halts and looks at your face properly.

"What do you want?" Jaehyun says, almost a whisper. He feels weak being this close to you.

You weren't any better. You wanted him. You leaned your head back, exposing your neck. You hold one of Jaehyun's hand and painfully runs it lower until his palm touches you down there, "Touch me,"

"Fuck." Jaehyun hisses, his fingers already parting your folds as you shut your eyes at the sensation. "Is this for me?" Jaehyun asking the obvious question as you nod in response, you were soaking wet for him.

Your robe was discarded by Jaehyun easily. Making him take one nipple in his mouth sucking it deliciously while his finger penetrates your entrance.

"Oh god, yes," You call out his name as his warm tongue plays alternately on your nipples and without warning, he slid two of his thick fingers inside you.

Biting your lip and shutting your eyes tight, you were completely sprawled out in the cold marbled counter. Jaehyun was enjoying the way your face contorts with pleasure while he was looking up at you, gently biting your nipple.

"Fuck, just like that. Just like that.." You moan wantonly as Jaehyun curls his finger inside you. You heard him chuckled lowly, your hands gripping the ends of the counter, holding on to your dear life.

"Come for me, darling." As if on cue, Jaehyun's words pierced through you. Your body convulsed and your legs shake as you reach your high. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you let out a scream.

You just got finger-fucked and you've never been satisfied before. How much more if--you quickly got out from your daze, looking up at Jaehyun while he kisses your abdomen lower. You know what he's gonna do next, but the pleasure was too much.

He was now crouching down, your hand flies to his hair as his lips come in contact with your clit. "No more, please. I can't take it---Jae." You whimpered as he licks a stripe on your folds, "Oh my god,"

Jaehyun's chuckles again, vibrating on your skin, and he speaks, "You don't want it?"

Before you can even respond, he's already eating you out. Licking your pussy without abandon. His tongue swirling in your entrance. "Mm, you taste so good."

You harshly tug on his hair, screaming his name as your second orgasm approaches. "Please, please, please," You chant like a mad woman while he's flicking his tongue on your swollen folds.

Jaehyun suddenly stops, making you whine at the lost contact, you notice him pull his sweatpants down. His cock springing free, and he guides it to rub on your folds.

Your pupils dilate as you see all of him. Your mouth salivating at his size because...damn. He's gonna ruin you so good.

He stokes his length as his other hand soothes on your thighs, "Are you ready?" His voice was controlled and firm. As if he was ready if you ever said no.

You looked up at him and nodded, and spoke in a womanly voice you never knew you had. "I need you so bad, Jae." He looks relieved and his eyes shifts into something between lust, desire, and evident want for you.

Jaehyun seeks pleasure as he slides the head of his cock, his eyes shutting close as he sheathes fully inside of you, feeling your walls envelop him. "Jesus, fuck."

Your face contorts with pleasure, you were so full, so full. "Jaehyun,"

Your other hand stayed gripping the edge of the counter while the other reaches for Jaehyun's hand, intertwining it. “You’re so big, oh my god.”

He chuckles darkly, “Yeah?” Then he now looks down at you as he bottoms out and deliciously slides inside. It felt so good that you were chanting his name, to urge him to go faster.

And Jaehyun didn't hesitate in obliging, he pinned your intertwined hands on the counter as he thrusts inside you at a fast pace making you scream every time he hits that spot of yours.

"You're fucking perfect," Jaehyun whispers to your ear as he buries his face in your neck, hips snapping at an inhumane speed. The skin slapping sounds can be heard all over the dining area, your skin on the marbled counter felt cold, but Jaehyun made you feel so much more.

"I'm gonna come, Jae. Harder please, please." You were almost crying because of the pleasure, your voice shook as you called for his name.

Jaehyun's pleasured grunts and groans made you reach your peak. Your mind goes blank and your legs shakes as you reach your high.

Jaehyun was still thrusting inside you, his release nearing. It didn't help when your walls were clenching mercilessly on his cock. He silenced his moans by looking up and kissing you sloppily as he cums inside of you.

You were still in a daze as Jaehyun kisses your lips, you felt how full you were and how amazing he made you feel.

Jaehyun thought it was a normal thing to do. You approached him first, placed your hands on his shoulders and leaned closer, what the hell was he supposed to do other than kiss you?

"The rumors are fast to come around." Yuta starts another kick for a conversation.

"Like what?" Jungwoo asks.

"Like Jaehyun does not like someone kissing him. I heard Irene complaining over it. She said she was like a fucktoy that he could bend over and come but never kissed."

"I saw him kiss plenty of girls before though?" Doyoung chimes in.

"You mean those models and-,"

"Seems to me he's pretty selective of pussy." Yuta laughs as he drowns another glass of alcohol.

Jaehyun drinks his glass of whiskey as he stares at the table. Across them is a bunch of women who are also drinking, and one of them approached, Doyoung recognizing her as she nears their table.

"How many bottles did this asshole finish already?" Tifanny asks his company only to have Yuta shrugging to her question. She knew that these men would not stop until they were drowning alcohol in their system and so she urges Jaehyun to go home.

"Oh my god, you look like you got your heart broken. Let's get you home to your wife."

Tifanny had Jaehyun in her car while her driver was the one who drove the latter's car, in the hopes of having to talk to the man. Tifanny knew Jaehyun had troubles expressing his feelings even then, they were like next-door-cousin but she just let him have his peace.

He was silent the whole ride, looking at the window and massaging his temple. He didn't looked drunk but he reeked of alcohol.

And you, you stayed up waiting for him. He might come home or he might not. There's just no getting over the fact that what happened this morning means something. You want to tell him you missed him. Even though you're not sure what it means.

The gates opened, two cars approaching the facade of your house. You squint your eyes. Seeing a familiar woman letting Jaehyun out from her car.

You opened the front door, you saw her and your husband walking towards you.

"Y/N! My god, he reeks!" She says, letting Jaehyun walk by himself towards you.

Tifanny, on the other hand, holds both of your shoulders. "I missed seeing you in parties! I don't know what exactly in the world happened but that-," she points at Jaehyun, "-man. I don't know why he's like that."

You smiled and thanked her as she walked back to her car, he was one of Jaehyun's friends and who knows if she was a better option than you for his arranged marriage?

Shrugging the thoughts in your mind, you went in with Jaehyun on your side. You were holding his waist as his arm was placed around your shoulder.

Jaehyun couldn't even process that he got home and the heat from his side came from you, and he whipped his head harshly to look at you.

"What?" You ask, looking at him a bit amused.

"You look good." He nonchalantly relays his compliment making you laugh, "Jaehyun, I bet you can't even see me properly."

He now faces you, his hands are casually wrapped on your waist. "No, I can see you clearly." He squints his eyes, "Are you my wife?"

Your lips twitched at his statement, you felt like you could cry. You were too soft for this.

You ran your fingers through Jaehyun's hair as you look at him, "Mm-hmm, I'm your wife."

Jaehyun lets out a groan, "Damn. He's a lucky man." He suddenly kisses the side of your lips and lets go of you, "I'm--- gonna sleep now. Good night, darling."

You shook your head and a ghost of smile is on your lips. And you flinched when you realized that you smiled. Because of Jaehyun.

You cooked breakfast the morning after, you were early and when Jaehyun walked outside his room heading to the kitchen, he couldn't say no to you and your sweet smile.

"Good morning," Your lovely voice resonates the dining area and your husband just nods, replying with his baritone. "Mornin',"

The silence was deafening, the clatters of the kitchen utensils as you both ate your breakfast is getting into your nerves, and when you decided to speak, Jaehyun cleared his throat.

Wiping his lips with a clean towel, he speaks. "Listen, what happened yesterday morning, it's not something I regret." Your husband says as he looks straight into your eyes.

You are going all in, risking it all to bare just a little part of you to him.

"As do I. I don't regret every bit of it. I bet everyone already expected that we fucked." You laughed, realizing that the words you chose wasn't what you wanted to say at all.

Jaehyun only looks at you, then his lips trembled for a bit, now scoffing. "Yeah, of course."

How are you so chill about this? Was it just a simple thing for you? A quick fuck? Spur of the moment?

Questions were racing in his head. You would never like him. His reputation with girls were never good, he was called a playboy, and his insides crumbled into pieces and he doesn't even know why.

"I better go now. Thanks for the meal." Jaehyun shows control over things, he just doesn't know when will it break. He just hopes it does not.

"Congratulations, Y/N! I'm so proud of you, dearest!" Mrs. Jung kisses your cheek, "The resort is so beautiful, I love it!"

You smiled genuinely, "Thanks, Mom! Couldn't have done it without everyone."

Distinguished guests paraded over you in the middle of the event. Your family's resort, the one you handled is successfully done and you couldn't be more happier.

You would be happier.

If Jaehyun arrives before the event ends. You were getting tired of waiting and smiling at people who wasn't even part of the hard work that you and your team has been through.

"Ah, there she is!" You heard a familiar voice, turning around and seeing Johnny with his friendly smile.

You mirrored his, "Thank you for coming, Johnny. And for everything."

"Thank me later." He winks as he places a hand on your back, you see a woman who was just behind Johnny seconds ago.

"This is Mrs. Kim. The owner of the Kim Chains. This is Ms. Y/N Jung." He introduces you both to each other, conversation easily being created as again, you found another prospect for the new chain of resort.

Little did you know, Jaehyun already arrived. Eyes piercing through the hand on your waist.

"Easy, man." Doyoung laughs and tapped Jaehyun's shoulder.

"Looks like she doesn't need me here." He sounded bitter. Because he is, bitter. And knowing that it will never be him. You will never like him because apparently, you found someone like the man who is beside you.

"Nah, I think she was waiting for you to show up. Where have you been anyway?" Kim Doyoung queries, a wine is in his hand.

"I was planning on making an entrance, turns out I wasn't much of a big deal."

His baritone laugh was loud enough for Jaehyun to glare at him, "What the hell, man. Stop being jelly and get your wife."

If only that was easy. Jaehyun could kiss you in front of these people, just to let them know you're his.

After conversing with Johnny and Mrs. Kim, you were left alone with the buffet, casually taking a marshmallow dipped in fondue.

"Congratulations." Hearing his voice warmed your whole body, it looks like he was already embracing you by standing behind you.

Facing him properly, you smiled happily, for the first time tonight.

"I thought you couldn't make it." You say, approaching Jaehyun and placing a hand on his chest, "I wouldn't miss it for the world. How's your night?"

Jaehyun asked as he touches your cheek with his thumb. You almost closed your eyes at the soothing sensation, "It was good, kinda tiring."

"You did so well today." He smiles, his dimples showing.

You were wearing heels but Jaehyun still towered over you, and so you tiptoed and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you."

Jaehyun almost thought he got blinded by how bright your smile was. At that point of time, everything stopped. It was just you looking at him, smiling brightly as ever.

"You're beautiful." Your husband looks like he was caught in a spell, he was mesmerized by you.

You chuckled, "Aren't I always?"

That's when his dimples show, laughing sweetly with how you replied. Jaehyun runs a hand through his blonde hair, "Damn right, you are always beautiful."

His friends who were watching the both of you from afar which was Doyoung, Jungwoo and Nakamoto Yuta, looked utterly bewildered. How on earth did he look so fucking love struck over a woman?

Yuta tutted, "I guess that makes one of us."

Jungwoo bristled, "Shut the fuck up, you're probably gonna get tied down next."

Doyoung watches how his other friend glared at the other, laughing at their laments.

"Uh-oh." Doyoung says as he sees a woman approaches you and Jaehyun.

You were still giggling and smiling about your conversation with your husband when someone approaches you both, caving in from Jaehyun’s back view.

"Hi! It is such a lovely night, Y/N!" Chaeyoung Park. His ex.

You were surprised to see her but it wasn't evident in your face, you had that frown and any other emotion in control.

"It is. Welcome, Chae." Your voice is controlled, or you couldn't recognize it anymore.

Jaehyun was also, in fact, shocked at the sudden appearance of his ex. They didn't have any ugly break-up, it was just casual. He didn't just see what was wrong with her being here, she's someone’s rich daughter so everyone would think that their family were invited.

Chaeyoung smiled as she inserts her hand on Jaehyun's arm, your eyes following her movements. "I missed you, Jae! You don't even visit me anymore."

Your blood boiled with anger, you looked at Jaehyun. In his head, he was ready to argue with Chaeyoung because since they broke up, they never had any other things to talk about. But Jaehyun also has something in mind.

"I'm busy," Your husband says nonchalantly, he was looking at your reaction. If this would evoke anything from you, even a little hint of jealousy, he would jump in fucking joy.

You were actually waiting for him to deny it himself, to say that they weren't seeing each other behind your back. But that was his reply. Your whole body feels like you were stinged but you won't let anyone make you feel inferior. This was purely business, and you should treat it as one.

"Well, good for the both of you. Darling, can we go to my parents' table? They were looking for you." You smiled without humor, and Jaehyun nodded casually.

"We'll leave you here." Jaehyun still says, getting her hand off his arm and goes to you, putting a hand on your waist as you both turn your back on her.

Even though you were hurting, you tried to make it look fun for yourself. To make it seem like you were unbothered.

"Still going at it with Rose?" You asked with a laugh. Rose is her other name.

Jaehyun couldn't believe what you just said, he wanted to get mad at you. He can't blame you though, you saw him bring women around and he would not be surprised if you think lowly of him. So, he decides to go on.

"Yeah." As weak as his reply sounds, it broke you into pieces.

"Wow," You blurt out, "I mean-- yeah, wow. You look good together but sadly, you're tied to me."

You love hurting yourself so much. And the amount of realizations you had these days, you were sure that you care for Jaehyun. Even deeper than that.

He feels hurt too. That's why he has his head down and was silent. He's mad and disappointed, at himself. When you both approached to the table, an organizer calls you for the closing remarks. A signal that the event is ending.

Standing in front of everyone and with Jaehyun's eyes never leaving you since you got on stage and started your speech.

And now to your ending statement, "Lastly, to the love of my life, Jaehyun baby, thank you for being my number one supporter!" You smiled as the thunderous clap booms in your ears. Your eyes starting to swell with tears but you held it in.

The event ended well, as what everyone says. It was a lovely evening indeed.

You and Jaehyun both got separate cars and you went home. He got home first, and you arrived minutes late so you expected him to be in his room.

He was supposed to be in his room, not in the stool with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

You stopped yourself from going to him and embracing him, and just forget everything that had happened. You wanted him all for yourself, but love is such a cruel game to play.

"Good night, Jae."

He hums and he weakly replies, "Mmh, good night, Y/N."

After that night at the event, everything went back to what it was. You treat each other like strangers, in your own home. You didn't know what shifted. Or did something really shifted for you and Jaehyun?

Both of you became so cautious, even avoiding each other. You thought you and Jaehyun were getting along well, or was it always like that? You had to fake everything to get by?

He has been doing a lot of work lately. Coming home intoxicated and falling asleep, then wakes up to go to the company he handles so well. He was the business man that he was, setting aside the ache and longing in his heart.

Jaehyun did not expect to be home so early today and he hasn’t drank even a bit of alcohol, he was just tired. He was out of his mind these past few days, unable to function well, only sleeping when he's already drowning in alcohol.

He was early to be home tonight. His tie loose and his cuffs are folded in his forearms. You were in the living room, doing some work.

"Hey, did you have dinner?" You asked carefully. Your eyes scanning him.

Jaehyun only shooks his head, "No, I'm good."

Standing up and walking towards him. Jaehyun made his senses active, you were strutting at him naturally.

You casually go for his tie, untangling it from his dress shirt.

"I can do it."

"Let me help." You say as you focused on getting his tie.

Jaehyun lets out a breath as you finish getting his tie off. You were now looking directly up at him.

"How have you been?"

He only peers down at you and then he massages his forehead, like he was stressed. Or he doesn't know what to do. But then he responds, "Good."

You cleared your throat at his short answer, knowing that he doesn't wanna talk to you right now, or at all.

"Okay," Nodding your head, you were ready to go back to the couch to continue your work.

Jaehyun had other plans.

You sucked an air as he swiftly wraps his arms around you just as you turned around. His forehead resting on your shoulder.

"I missed you.”

He whispered and you relaxed on his arms, leaning on his body. You didn’t say a word, only feeling the warmth of his chest in your back. This feels nice.

Jaehyun sighs as he loosens his arms around you, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He says, you turned around to properly face him and you wrapped your arms on his neck, your hand touching his nape. “Hmm, what are you sorry for?”

Your husband only looks at you, confusion is visible in his eyes.

And when he doesn’t talk, you continue. Your hand in his nape making him focus all on you. “I missed you too, Jae. You have avoided me all these days.”

It was like a light bulb clicked on Jaehyun’s head. You missed him too. Does that mean…?

Your husband casually wraps his arms on your waist tightly.

“I’m sorry for that too. It’s just---”

“You don’t need to explain everything.”

You were ready to be another girl in his life, another notch in his belt, or whatever you call it. Who cares if he’s seeing Rose when you’re his wife? On the days that he was avoiding you, you thought hard for it. And your decision was dumb, opposite to what you are (usually), you decided to be one of his girls. If that’s what it takes to get him.

And if you ever thought about falling in love with him, well, you already did. You just have to brace for the fact that he will never feel the same way as you do, and you’re okay with that.

“Hi there, you look blooming.” Joy says as she sits down, “What’s the tea?”

You laughed at her remarks, “Silly, nothing’s up. I just thought you could take a look at Suh’s company? They’ve been great.”

“Oh yeah! Heard about them, you were with them on the latest resort that you launched, right? T’was great.”

You smiled as you sipped on your iced tea, another client for Johnny. He’s been a good friend and you also help him as he helps you too.

And Jaehyun, never gets better with the man you desire.

You bite your lower lip as he bends you on his desk, the fine wood creaks on the floor, papers were falling down at the rush of what you’re doing. Jaehyun lifts your skirt up, he groans at the sight of your soaked pussy. Using his fingers, he brushes the fabric aside, marveling at the sight.

He kneels down to level at your core and you do your best not to be loud while Jaehyun licks a stripe of your folds, “This is what you came here for? Hmm?” Your husband says as he teases his tongue on your entrance.

“Yes, fuck yes, I need you.” You whimpered and closed your eyes at the sensation.

Jaehyun didn’t need to ask you twice. As much as he liked eating you out, he needs to be inside you, now. So he hurriedly stands up, the sound of him lowering the zipper in his slacks makes your pussy clench on nothing.

“Oh fuck, Y/N.” Jaehyun swears as he aligns his tip on your soaking entrance, your warm velvety hole embraces his hard tip. He lowers his body as you feel him on your back, his lips kissing on your spine. “Let me hear you, baby.”

Jaehyun thrusts deliciously inside of you making you moan, “Yes, Jae—fuck me hard.”

You could not think straight. With his hard cock brushing your insides and the sensation that comes with it. You could only roll your eyes at the back of your head with your jaw slack.

“Yeah? Feels good?” Jaehyun whispers on your ear as he picks up the pace. He was ramming inside you like there’s no tomorrow. The way he delivers his hard and deep thrusts making you arch your back and moan every time he hits your spot.

You are no longer keeping quiet or even had a care when all you can think about what your husband is doing to you.

“Give it to me, give it to me, please, please..” You pant while you say Jaehyun’s name like a mantra. He groaned, seemingly losing his restraint, which he doesn’t have in the first place because he’s literally fucking you in his office.

“Oh—god, right there Jae, I’m gonna---”

With your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your mouth opens for a silent scream, the tight knot in your stomach bursts, the sensation almost blinding you.

“Fuck yeah, that’s my good girl.” He praises you while he keeps his pace, his hips stuttering and eventually spilling his warm milk inside you.

Jaehyun breathes heavily as you let out a giggle, “Oh my god.”

He only looks at you with a grin on his face, his hair is disheveled and a hint of sweat is in his forehead.

“You made a mess of me,” You say a little bit too breathy.

“You can’t come in here looking so good, baby. You’re making me crazy.” Jaehyun says as he pecks at your lips.

You went home with a blush on your face while you strut down the halls of your husband’s company. He was good at keeping his words, and you didn’t think of anything else when you were with him. That was enough for you, or it was almost enough for you.

Both you and Jaehyun have been good to each other since you talked that night, the way he said he missed you, you held on to that. Breakfasts were nicer because he was there, eating with you and sipping his daily coffee. Lunches felt like past times when he suddenly sends you your favorite dish in your own office. And dinners, dinners were great.

It felt like you were floating when you’re with him. Like you could reach the sky, and you couldn’t have wanted more than feel the things that he’s making you feel. You swore to yourself you would be ready, when he leaves, or when he decides he doesn’t want to do this kind of thing with you anymore.

You married each other for the sole reason of helping both of your families. And you succeeded on that part. And if you did accomplish that, does that mean the marriage you both have has no meaning now?

Going home to your parents hits different now, you were smiling from ear to ear. You were excited to see them after a long time. They orchestrated everything and yet, you seem happier about it now. You casually walk to the vast hall, your voice echoing as you call them. A maid leads you to your family office, then you heard their voices from the unclosed doors.

“Jaehyun didn’t want a wedding, but he agreed once we brought up the marketing of their company. He also planned a trip to Europe with Y/N now, is he doing this because he’ll be transferred there, darling? My daughter has gone through enough, can we stop it now?”

For the first time in your life, you heard your Mother sounding so sincere. You stood there, processing their conversation.

“Honey, we can’t easily play that stunt.”

Then it struck you. Days ago, Jaehyun said that he had a trip planned out for you and him. In Europe. Of course, you were elated, but the butterflies you felt went down the drain when you heard that it was only for business. It’s all about business. Contractual.

But still, that didn’t phase you. You were expecting all sorts of thing to happen.

Until you’ve heard that Chaeyoung Park is somewhere in Europe to attend a family gathering. Fucking coincidence? You think not.

Ever since you got on the plane with Jaehyun, you haven’t spoken anything yet. You couldn’t, your insides were hurting and so you slept it all the way, and he didn’t bother you so you could rest. When you landed, you only smiled and talked when he was talking to you, and stayed silent as he does the same.

Jaehyun noticed your mood and he thinks it was just you being tired and exhausted with work and so he kisses your temple as he whispers that he’ll attend a brief meeting. He was occupied the whole time, thinking what he could do to ease the tiredness of your eyes. He can’t wait to comeback to you after the damn meeting.

 When he returned in the villa, you weren’t there. He tried calling you, even asking the staff where you went.

“She’s just in the premises, sir. We haven’t seen Madame get out.” That’s what the securities told him after checking the cameras on the entrance and on the exit. Jaehyun swears he will lose his mind, any fucking minute.

He was still pacing back and forth inside your villa and he didn’t expect you to barge inside with a bottle of wine in hand.

“Where have you been? I was so worried.” Jaehyun says as he walks towards you, holding your waist. And you laughed like a mad woman in response, “How was your dinner with your fucking true love? Or whatever, I fucking hate her.” You babble, your eyes are fluttering.

How many did she fucking drink? Jaehyun questions himself.

“What are you talking about?

"You know what I’m talking about!" You yell from the top of your lungs. Jaehyun’s eyes softens with worry.

He breathes, "Baby,"

“Don’t call me that.” You got out of his hold, your legs weak.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about but let me help you with this, okay?” He softly says as he gets the bottle out of your hand and putting it away.

“Rose, she’s here. Isn’t she?”

Your bitter voice gives it away. “No, she’s not.” Jaehyun only looks at you puzzled, “I think some of her family lives somewhere in Europe, wait-- why are we talking about her again?”

“You have a relationship with her. That’s why you came here, that’s why you brought me here! To end things with me!” The man in front of you was full of confusion etched in his face.

You leaned closer to Jaehyun, “Fuck you.”

He wants to laugh, he really wants to. After adding all what you said, it all came to him that you think he’s still seeing Rose.

“You’re fucking drunk. I wanna talk to you when you’re sober. And stop overthinking. God, woman. You make me crazy.” Jaehyun chuckles lowly as he cradles your face, “Let me take care of you, okay?”

“Mmmh-kay.”

That’s all you fucking remember.

Oh my fucking hell.

What the fuck did I just do?

“You’re up.” Jaehyun suddenly says as he leans on the doorframe, in nothing but his grey sweatpants. A smug grin is on his face. “Let’s eat.”

He walks out and you can see his broad bare back until he disappears to the dining. You grabbed a pillow and dipped your head on the soft thing. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

You washed up for a bit and got dressed in your comfortable sundress. You composed your thoughts before arriving at the dining area, seeing Jaehyun, who’s already in his shirt while sitting on the two seated table which was filled with delicious looking food. Your mouth watered instantly at the sight, forgetting the events from the night.

“Wow. I’m famished.” You say as you look at the fluffy pancakes with chocolate. Your husband adores the sight of you being excited to eat.

“I bet. They arranged it prettily.” The utensils clatter and your hums and approval of the breakfast plate was the only thing you did. Jaehyun smiles brightly to see you happily eating.

“They’re good. So good. Cant wait for lunch.” You say and Jaehyun chuckles, “Yeah?”

“You look gorgeous, by the way.” He says as he looks at you genuinely. You shyly tilt you head and whispered a small, “Thanks.”

A comfortable silence passed and Jaehyun speaks again, “Can we talk about what happened last night?”

There it goes. You nod in response. In truth, you’re scared. Even though you remembered his words.

“There is nothing going on with me and Rose, the thing that I said to your party? It wasn’t true, it was me trying to see your reaction and I’m sorry if it bothered you in any way. I swear to God, baby. I wanted to take you here because I want to spend more time with you. Not with any other reasons.”

Jaehyun says his words carefully and as if he’s blaming himself for what you were up to last night. Your heart slightly jumps at his words. He was trying to see your reaction that time… and he took you here because he wants to spend time with you.

You breathed out, ready for the words to slip out from your mouth.

“I think I’m falling in love with you, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun heard what you said clearly, but it looks like he needed to hear it again to confirm that he wasn’t just hearing things.

“What did you say?” He says as he reaches his hand to you, holding yours while caressing the top of your hand.

“I told you I’m inlove with you.” Looking shy with your confession, your head slightly looks at the floor.

“Thank fuck for that because I’m hella crazy for you.” Jaehyun says as he smoothly brings his chair beside you. His hand cupping your chin for you to look at him, and you do. You meet his eyes, and he inches closer, “I’m falling hard for you, you know that right?” He whispers before he leans in, his soft and plump lips colliding with yours. It was a soft kiss, so soft that you felt like melting.

And as if it wasn’t enough for Jaehyun, he speaks again. Or more like declaring something. “You’re chained with me.”

You smiled at his words, “I’ll forever be.”

Staring at someone you realize that you cherish dearly feels like you have all the luxuries in the world. It feels like bathing in a warm and smooth water, it just feels so…good. Jaehyun makes his way to you after he just finished presenting his new proposal for their company. A series of thunderous clap was what met him.

“Incredible.” You say to your husband as he raises a brow playfully.

“You look so fucking good, baby.” He occupies the seat next to you and kisses your cheek.

You gently hit his chest at what he whispered. Warning him, “Jae.”

“I’m telling the truth, I can’t wait to get out of here.” He says, his dimples showing and he shoots you a look.

“You can have me all you want but please stick your eyes in the front for now, babe.”

Jaehyun bites his lip and a smirk is on his face, eventually paying attention in front with his hand on your thigh.

His eyes was surely looking in what's before him but his thoughts are full of you. It still feels surreal to him that he wakes up to you in the morning and he gets to lay in bed with you every night. Damn.

You both stumbled on the living room, Jaehyun kisses you passionately as soon as you got inside the house. His hands impatient, caressing here and there, craving for you like he didn’t make love to you in the morning and even before the event.

“You’re perfect,” Your husband whispers as he trails kisses on your cheek down to you jaw, “I love you so fucking much.”

I love you too, Jaehyun.

Running your fingers through his hair, you released a breathy moan, “Easy, daddy.”

You felt Jaehyun stiffen and his eyes are now more clouded with lust, “You asked for it.”

Giggling at his response, he starts to continue kissing your throat down to your collarbone, making sure he leaves marks of blue.

Jaehyun never fails to bring you to your peak, he was insatiable. He took you all over again and you were determined to give him more. Lying in bed and seeing you first thing in the morning was enough for him to settle for a lifetime. And for you, you think this is the happiest you’ll be.

Thinking that, you will be happily chained with him, forever.

taglist: @matchahyuck @wintersoulwarrior @sevenstay @painted-hills @hyemmei @got-sum-badhabits @fluffyjaes @jaessunflower214 @sunhyejichan @newdeobi @nanascupid @soobsfairy444 @justineasian @sseuyeon

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111323. Chained by idyllicallycharming.

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your fate, my karma

jung jaehyun x fem!reader

wc: 11.7k

synopsis: jaehyun realizes he’s in love with you. it’s fucked, especially because he rejected you once before. he doesn’t want to ruin what he has with you. but he can’t help it, it’s like he was made to see and touch you. he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold in his secret.

warnings: angst, little fluff, friends with benefits, pining, one sided love, confession, argument, smut (MDNI), desperate jaehyun, unprotected sex (pulling out), possessiveness and jealousy, dialogue heavy at some parts

heavily inspired by somethin’ stupid - frank sinatra

part three to the how it all goes series!

you're laid back onto his bed, heavy breaths fanned across your face. on top of you is jaehyun, cheeks dusted with pink as his fingers are still move inside of you. “stop already,” you huff out a laugh, “i might die if you make me cum one more time.”

he chuckles at your words and slowly pulls his fingers out of you, sucking obscenely on them just to annoy you. it works, and you cover your eyes to get the image out of your head. you don’t offer to help him out, and he doesn’t ask for any favors.

he’s not really sure how his friendship with you got to this point. if he could put it simply, you told him that you had feelings for him, asking if he felt the same way. he said that he wasn’t ready for a relationship, that he wasn’t ready to be so vulnerable in front of another person. he still wanted to be friends with you. 

he remembers seeing sadness flash through your eyes, but you just smiled at him and accepted the answer that you got. in a way, jaehyun wished he could like you back, he hated the way he hurt you, but he just wasn’t ready. you were wary around him, trying to hide the hurt that he caused you. he couldn’t bear to see it, and hated how much you were hiding from him.

which is how he finds you next to him, curled up in his bed after he’s made you cum. he knows it probably wasn’t the best idea to propose, but he didn’t know how else he could keep you close. when he explains it to himself in his head, it sounds shitty, makes him feel a little fucked up. he tries to justify it, but really, all of this is a temporary fix to keep you close to him.

despite all the grey areas in his friendship with you, he’s certain about one thing: he really does like having you around. he’s chalked it up to his feelings just being from how long he’s known you, but he knows that there’s something else he doesn’t want to admit. because one, it’s fucked. two, he’s rejected you. three, he can’t like you.

he can’t like like you. he doesn’t even want to imagine thinking about the other word, but it plays at the back of his head sometimes. he hears it when you’re both out at a bar together, watching you drunkenly cling to his side. he hears it when you’re at his apartment after work. he hears it when your eyes look up at his when you drop to your knees.

he can hear it even now as you lay next to him, curled up into his side as your breaths even out. it doesn’t feel weird that he can feel your naked body against his, his best friend comfortably laid up next to him. is it so wrong of him to want this? you became more comfortable around him again after he had sex with you. he knows it’s just a temporary solution.

he can feel your breaths across his chest, your face nuzzling closer to him. he could move you away, could create a clearer boundary between the two of you. he feels a little selfish when he lets you stay there, deciding to wrap an arm around your shoulders as he pushes you closer. it’s not fair to either of you, he’s not your boyfriend, he shouldn’t be this close to you. 

it’s quiet in his room, save for the sound of cars driving down the road and the occasional huff you let out in your sleep. he isn’t tired at all, too lost in his thoughts as he stares up at the ceiling, the warmth of your body taking up all his thoughts. if he could, he would go back in time and stop you from confessing. he would’ve done it himself in the future, he just needed a little more time.

he can’t blame you though. it’s his fault for rejecting you, it’s his fault for thinking that he could make something happen out of this. there’s a small part of his heart that believes that you could like him again. you wouldn’t come back to him for sex every night, right? but the more realistic part of him knows that it could mean anything.

which is why he can’t stop you coming to him when you’re needy. it’s not even just those times, but he doesn’t think he could ever willingly cut you off. he likes spending time with you, and above everything else, you’re his friend.

he just can’t help but wish it could be a little more than that.

you always ask jaehyun to come over if he has the time.

as you both have grown older, it feels like you both have lost more and more time. when you were both college students, it was easy to skip a few classes and go to parties each night. but now as adults, it’s hard to find time for each other. which is why you ask him to go do mundane tasks with you, like buying groceries or trying on clothes.

today it’s going over to eat with him.

before he rejected you, it felt special to be invited to do these kinds of things with him. out of all the people he could’ve asked, he chose you. it didn’t take long for you to realize that, no, jaehyun asking you to spend time with him meant nothing but him being friendly. it’s weird looking back at how much you wanted jaehyun to like you more than a friend. 

as you make your way to his apartment, you realize how much time you spent just wishing for something to happen between you two. you wonder if it was something that was ever supposed to happen between you, or maybe if the timing just wasn’t right. you used to find yourself thinking about the what ifs after he had freshly rejected you. but now, you try to focus on what you have.

he’s just your friend, and you’re close to accepting that it’ll probably never be more than that. 

when you make it to his apartment, you don’t see him right away. you call out his name, hearing his voice from his kitchen. when you head over, you’re expecting a nice meal laid out for the two of you to eat. instead, you’re greeted by jaehyun standing by the stove, a stupid smile on his face as he greets you.

“so, you invite me over to come and eat.”

he nods, smile growing wider, “yes.”

“but i’m not seeing any food.”

“that’s because you’re gonna help me.”

you stare at him. he starts moving towards you, one of his arms wrapping around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. he starts dragging you towards where he was standing. you start whining, “you don’t need my help. you’re a whole grown man who can cook whatever he wants.”

he laughs, “but i need you to be my other chef… what are they called?”

you roll your eyes, “a sous chef?”

“exactly,” he points at you, as if you just solidified his argument, “what if i forget something and i need your help?”

you pat his shoulder, “then you call me while i sit over on the couch.”

he’s about to give up, but he swears there’s a certain look in your eyes that ask him to keep going. that’s how it always feels with you, a certain push-and-pull that you both can’t let go of. your fingers twitch against his shoulder, almost giving you away. he moves to hold your hand, “how about you at least watch me on the side. i just wanna talk to you.”

you almost want to point out his pouty tone, want to laugh at how there’s a frown on his face. but you can’t. he looks a little too sincere, and you don’t want to think too hard about the feelings he doesn’t have for you. you sigh, eventually giving into his words. it’s always like this, jaehyun acting like he can’t go on without you. that’s what got you here in the first place.

he smiles when you approach him, so close that his arm is touching yours. it doesn’t matter how long or how many times he’s had sex with you, to have you close to him like this makes his heart soar. 

it’s like this for the whole time you both cook. your hands lightly grazing his, the sweet smile you show him when he does good, the laugh you let out when he messes up. you take over some parts for him without him asking you to. he can’t help let his mind wander, thinking this is how it would be all the time if you two were dating.

he wouldn’t have to beg you to do something with him, you would do it on your own accord. he wouldn’t have to hold back how much he wants to kiss you, he could press as many kisses on your cheeks or lips. he could stand behind you, wrapping his arms around you as you forcibly kick him off of cooking duty.

instead, he’s standing in front of the food he’s making, probably overcooking it as you point and laugh at him. you even take out your phone to take a picture of him, laughing as you fiddle with your phone. he swats at you, grumbling, “if you posted that on instagram, i am definitely blocking you.”

“you know me so well. i tagged you and everything.”

he chooses not to respond, taking out plates from his cabinet for the both of you. he can see you standing next to him, waiting to plate your food. he quickly decides to plate it for you, trying to hide his pink cheeks as he pushes the plate towards you. when he’s plating his own, you speak up, “wow, what a gentleman!” he can hear the teasing tone you use, “you’re really setting the bar for all men, aren’t you, jaehyun?”

he decides to tease you back, “just trying to show you how much nicer i am than you are. you should post this on instagram, too.”

“nope, letting all my followers know how mean and horrible of a cook you are. i’m ruining your chances of getting with someone.”

he shakes his head in amusement, moving to one of the seats on his small dining table. you follow, sitting right across from him. he messes with his phone a bit before you can hear that it’s connected to his speakers. an unfamiliar tune starts playing as you watch jaehyun’s head bob along to the song. 

this is how it always is, eating together, listening to his annoyingly good music taste, and enjoying each other’s presence. the food he cooked is surprisingly good, but you try to denounce it because you did help him along the way. it’s quiet between the two of you, nothing really too important to talk about.

jaehyun notices your fingers tapping along the table to the beat of the song. he smiles, “do you like it? the song?”

you pretend to think about it, “hm... well, it’s good.”

“you’re not gonna secretly shazam it under the table like last time?”

“that was literally a one time thing,” you huff, “i’ll just go and find someone with the exact same music taste as you.”

he smiles to himself, “you know there’s no one else like me.”

you think about his words for a bit. he probably didn’t mean for them to have a double meaning, but you can’t help but find one. you wonder if you’ll ever be able to find someone who could’ve made you as happy as jaehyun does. you wonder if you do find someone, you’ll be able to forget jaehyun.

you feel like you’ve become so intertwined in his life that everything might lead back to him.

you eventually nod along to his words, “yeah, there’s no one else like you.”

“you’re kinda an ass for not picking her up yourself.”

jaehyun huffs at johnny’s words. it’s not that he didn’t want to, but you had assured him that you would make it on time. when he brought up your safety, you said that it was taken care of already. jaehyun couldn’t help but wonder who or what could possibly be more safe than him, but he didn’t want to argue. 

but now that you’re a little late, he can’t stop himself from worrying. johnny makes it worse, tearing into him, teasing him with every word. jaehyun hasn’t told him about his surfacing feelings for you, but johnny is notoriously nosy, probably knowing the exact day jaehyun thought that he started liking you. 

johnny takes one more jab at him, “she would’ve liked you more if you’d been the one who brought her.”

jaehyun’s shoulder bumps into johnny’s, “she already does like me a lot, so there’s no need for all of that.”

johnny shrugs, letting out an if you say so as he sips on his drink. as much as jaehyun wants to deny it, he really wishes he could’ve at least given you a ride. he would’ve immediately ditched johnny if you asked, would’ve been right outside your doorstep as soon as you said you were ready. he wants to tell himself that that’s just what friends do, but there’s something he doesn’t want to admit.

his hands move to pull out his phone, scrolling through your messages from the past hours. he knows he’s made a mistake as soon as he feels johnny’s eyes looking at his screen from over his shoulder. jaehyun makes a jokingly shocked face at johnny to try to distract him, but johnny’s face mirrors his own. 

johnny’s about to say something with a teasing smile on his face and jaehyun’s ready to stop him. instead, a ding comes from his phone, calling their attention. it’s a text from you, letting jaehyun know that you’re outside. he sends a text to you, his eyes moving to the entrance as he waits for you to walk in.

and there you are.

your eyes scan the room, looking for both him and johnny. jaehyun can feel his cheeks heat up at the sight of you, your face illuminated by the warm lights of the bar. he thinks you look pretty all the time, but now that he’s seeing you like this, he wants to keep it in his memory forever.

you quickly spot them, your face brightening up with a smile as you make your way towards them. you greet the two of them, johnny easily bringing you into a hug. when you turn to jaehyun, you expect the same, but his eyes stay on you for a moment too long. he notices your teasing smile, quickly clearing his throat before wrapping his arms around you.

johnny starts, “always so fashionably late.”

you laugh, “if i don’t come, who else is gonna be the funniest and sexiest person in our friend group?”

johnny moves to tuck an invisible strand of hair behind his ear, “i was holding that position just fine before you came.”

you slap his shoulder, a fit of laughter taking over you. jaehyun watches the two of you, quietly laughing at the side. he likes the dynamic the three of you have, always mentally thanking johnny for introducing you to him. he’d endure all of johnny’s teasing for years if it meant to have you laughing at his side.

it stays like this for a while. the three of you drinking together, laughing when johnny tries dragging you closer to the middle of the room to dance. jaehyun can feel his cheeks get hotter, pink from the alcohol and the not-so-visible adoration he holds for you. he tries to quiet his feelings, but when you lean into his side, your warm body pressing against his, he figures he can give up the act a little.

it’s at times like these where jaehyun realizes that he can see the you from before the rejection. it’s a bit selfish for him crave this side of you, the one where you don’t care how much you touch him or how you continue talking into his ear all night. he thinks that if you were both dating, he could lean over and press a kiss to your cheek, watching as you nuzzle into his side.

for now, all he can do is wrap his arm around yours as you both sway side to side. johnny went off to get another drink, promising to be back quickly. jaehyun has this little time to have you all to himself, listening to the loud chattering around him and the bass of the music loud in his ears. your eyes are closed, humming along to the song.

jaehyun could easily whisper into your ear about his feelings. you probably wouldn’t remember either way, but he knows it’s not right. it’s not like he’d want to do it this way, wanting to tell you honestly. but there’s a growing part inside his brain that’s begging him to do something about it. he has you so close now, so why can’t just say that he likes you?

the thoughts dissipate when johnny comes back, smile on his face with three more drinks in hand. johnny quickly notices how your arm is intertwined with jaehyun’s, and jaehyun can physically see the moment johnny comes up with a plan. jaehyun doesn’t bother moving from his spot, though, willing to sacrifice his humility just to have you by his side.

as if jaehyun wasn’t having thoughts of kissing or dating you, the conversation turns back to normal. the three of you chatting, exchanging work gossip and taking drinks from your cups. it’s like every night this happens, it’s a regular routine of talking and him having to fight back his more than friendly thoughts of his friend. 

except this time, while johnny’s explaining how he thinks his boss might be having an affair, you cut him off. johnny jokingly scoffs, turning to where you’re looking at. you both squeal, johnny’s hands finding your shoulders, shaking them back and forth. you gasp, “that’s him, right?”

johnny matches your tone, “totally him! i could recognize him from anywhere!”

raising an eyebrow in your direction, jaehyun asks, “and who exactly are we talking about?”

you turn back at him, “that’s jungwoo, someone we knew from college!”

the name sounds familiar to jaehyun. there’s probably been a few times you talked about him during one semester. he’s not sure which one it could be, but there’s a memory of a faint smile on your face while talking about him. it sets a weird feeling in jaehyun’s stomach, and he realizes you look a little too excited at the sight of jungwoo.

jaehyun’s arm is still looped around yours, a small frown on his face, “does everyone and their moms know jungwoo now?”

“he was funny in class and he bought me coffee once,” johnny hums.

you join in, “he is definitely funny and he did good when we worked on a project together.”

jaehyun pointedly glares at johnny when he speaks, but when you speak, he just holds you closer to him. he can see how johnny watches him, being reminded of how he looked like he was planning something earlier. jaehyun sees it now, johnny’s face darkening before he speaks, turning to speak to you, “i think you should go talk to him.”

jaehyun sends a pointed glare at him before looking at you, his eyes widening when he sees the shy smile on your face. you ask, “what if he doesn’t even recognize me?”

“why wouldn’t he? he always looked at you a certain way when you guys talked, he definitely remembers you.”

jaehyun wonders why no one told him more about this “jungwoo” and his apparent more-than-friendly feelings for you? if johnny knows, then does that mean the three of you hung out before without him? how much has jaehyun missed between you and jungwoo? jaehyun silently takes another sip of his drink, his eyes peering over his cup as he watches you get lost in your thoughts.

he thinks you might drop the conversation, but you breath out, “i’ll do it. i’ll go talk to him.”

jaehyun tries his best not to acknowledge the growing jealousy he can feel bubbling up in his throat. he has to bite back a remark that would probably make things worse for himself. he decides to let go of your arm, watching as you easily separate from him. johnny starts hyping you up, giving you encouraging words as jaehyun massages your shoulders.

although jaehyun wishes he could say don’t go over there or i’ll die, he decides to send you a thumbs up before you walk away. his throat burns, and as much as he wants to think it’s from the alcohol, it’s from seeing you walk away from him. you’re walking to someone that isn’t him, sharing your warmth that’s supposed to be jaehyun’s.

he realizes then and there that he shouldn’t be thinking that.

you’re pressed against jaehyun’s bed, his face burying into your neck as he leaves kisses across your skin. you had to tell him to not leave any marks when you feel his teeth nip at your skin, and you could’ve sworn you heard a huff come out of him when you did. he’s practically pinning you down, body barely hovering over yours.

there are days where he gets like this, too desperate to where he doesn’t realize he grips you a little tighter, his voice growing deeper, relieving all of his stress by making you both feel good. you can tell when he gets like this, a quick text of an you up? letting you know what he wants. you’ve grown to learn all his habits.

it does feel a little different today, though. he was quick to greet you, quick to bring you to bed to kiss you. there were no words of how work was hard for him or if he was stressed about something that happened. not that there’s anything wrong with him not saying, but there’s a certain desperation in his movements as his lips trail down your body.

you decide not to ask about it, not wanting to pressure him into talking about something he doesn’t want to talk about. you’re quick to forget about it when he presses a kiss onto your clothed clit. he calls your name, bringing your attention to the heavy gaze he gives you. he murmurs out, “gonna let me see this pretty pussy?”

you nod quickly, lifting your hips up so he can take off your panties. he moves to lay between your thighs, humming when he sees how you’re dripping for him. it’s embarrassing, trying to close your legs. you’re met with his hands keeping them apart, chuckling at the whine you let out.

“didn’t know you could be this wet for me. if i didn’t know any better, i’d think that you need me.”

you let out a small whimper when he traces a finger down your slit, “jaehyun, please, need you to- need you to do something!”

“tell me what you need, pretty. if you don’t tell me, how am i supposed to help?”

“need you, jaehyun! want your fingers, want you to touch me!”

“of course, that’s all i needed to hear.”

you can feel one of his fingers slide into you, your head falling back onto his pillow at the feeling. you clench around his digit, already begging for more, needing him to fill you up. he doesn’t tease you for being so desperate, quickly giving into your pleas as another finger slips inside you. you let out a cry when you feel his thumb circle around your clit.

“such a messy baby, dripping all over my fingers. needed me so bad, right?”

moans of his name tumble out of your lips when he curls his fingers inside you, hitting that spot that sends shocks down your spine. your hands are gripping onto the sheets, realizing just how fast you're about to cum. you’re sure he can feel you clench around his digits, especially when you manage to open your eyes and see him looking straight at you.

“gonna cum all over my fingers?”

“fuck, yes! please, wanna cum, need you to let me cum!”

his movements speed up at your words, “go ahead and show me how much you need it.”

you’re quick to fall apart, your orgasm crashing into you. your thighs shut around his hand that’s helping you ride out your orgasm. all you can hear are the sounds you make and the encouragement that jaehyun mumbles out to you. you’re too fucked out to realize that his clean hand intertwines with yours, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand.

before you can comment on it, he’s quick to pull away from you, hands moving to undo his pants. you move to try to do it for him, but he swats your hands away with a laugh. after letting you gawk at him for a bit, he takes his boxers off, a whine leaving you at the sight of his leaking cock. he tilts his head at you, “are you gonna let me fill your pretty pussy up?”

“please,” you moan. your legs move to wrap around his waist, bringing his hips flush to yours. his cock ruts against your cunt, still sensitive from your last orgasm. he shushes you when you let out a small gasp, one of his hands soothing the skin of your thigh. you let out a small cry when his tips rubs against your clit, the last of your patience running out.

you can tell it’s getting to him, too. his cheeks and ears are flushed, his eyebrows furrowed as he switches between watching your face and where he’s pressed against you. he bites back a groan when his tip catches at your entrance, trying hard not to push into you right then and there. he puts all his focus on you, “tell me that you want me to fill you up. tell me that you need me to fuck you.”

you whine, your head digging into the pillow. despite his flushed face, there’s a cocky look on his face as he stares down at you. you’re too desperate to try to fight back, losing the battle as you let out a whimper of his name. there’s almost a surprised look in his eyes as he sees you give up this easily, leaning down to give you a quick kiss to your collarbone.

“i know, baby, need you just as bad. gonna fuck you like you need it, okay?”

you whisper out a thank you as he moves to line himself up at your entrance. he slowly slides in, letting out a deep groan as he watches himself sink into you. he fights off his eyes from closing at the feeling of your tight cunt clenching around his length. you’re no better, writhing around in the sheets, whimpers of his name escaping you.

once he bottoms out, he lets out a grunt, “missed this pussy so much. so fucking warm, so tight, all for me.” you’re quick to agree, hands trying to reach at his shoulders to bring him closer to you. he gives in easily, huffing at how he can feel himself deeper inside you at the new position. he kisses the valley of your breasts, sucking lightly.

he starts off slow, teasing you as he thrusts into you, slow and deep. if you can listen past your own moans and whimpers, you can hear the quiet curses and sounds he lets out, trying to hide how much you’re affecting him. when your nails claw at his back, he breaks, “didn’t even mean to call you this late, i just needed you so bad.”

his words get to you, the fact that he wanted to call you because he was needy makes you clench around him. he can’t help but pick up the pace of his thrusts at the feeling, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. you don’t know what has him so worked up, but if he’s going to make you feel this good, you might have to figure it out.

you need just a little more, your hand trailing down your body to get to your clit. you moan in relief when your fingers circle your clit, clenching tightly around jaehyun’s length. it has his hips stuttering slightly, eyes making their way to your hand. he’s quick to push your hand away to replace it with his own, thumb making tight circles around the nub. 

he move up to whisper into your ear, “only i can make you feel this good, right? i know you better than anyone else, even yourself.”

you shake your head at his words, but your hips roll up into his, trying to fit more of him inside you. he chuckles lowly at the sight, a small smile on his face as he watches you. he’s slamming into you now, any patience he had now gone as he nears the edge. he starts, “no? trust me, pretty. i know just how you like to be touched, how you liked to be fucked. i know you so well that i just know that you’re close to cumming.”

tears prick your eyes, because yes, you are close to cumming. you can’t help it, not when he’s fucking you like this. he’s not usually this talkative, choosing rather to focus on getting away from any stresses. but now, he’s letting you in on his thoughts, letting you know what could possibly be nagging at him. you’ll save it for another time.

you’re surrounded by all of him, chest touching his as his warm breath hits your neck. you used to wish for him to kiss you during moments like these, moments where you’re both so close, adrenaline too high. now, all you can do is whine out his name, begging for him to let you cum.

it’s easy for you to let go of any past emotions you had for him, but for jaehyun, he wishes he could kiss you. he wishes that you could want him again, wishes that he didn’t have to fuck you like this. this is what he wanted, though. he just didn’t think it would be this hard. he tries to ignore it by groaning into your ear, “gonna cum for me? gonna cum all over my cock?”

“y-yes, please! you make me feel so good!”

“yeah? show me then, pretty girl. show me how i’m the only one who can make you feel this good.”

at the sound of his voice, you cum. your chest arches up into his, nails digging into his back as you let go. he’s moaning at the feeling, his hips stuttering as he tries to fuck into your tight pussy. he has to bite down onto your shoulder at the feeling, holding back just how bad he wants to cum inside you.

when you start whining, he’s quick to pull out of your heat, quickly jerking himself off to the sight of how fucked out you look. with a moan of your name, his cum shoots out over your stomach, his cheeks a pretty pink as he does. 

it’s quiet in his room, save for the deep breaths you both let out. he’s just staring down at you, saving the image of you covered in his cum in his mind. you don’t mind, too tired to notice the slight adoration in his eyes as he stares. it is embarrassing though, covering your face with your arm as you tell him to move.

he blinks away his thoughts, chuckling at your embarrassment. he pats your thigh, moving away as he goes to get a towel to clean you up. he’s being careful with you, his movements slow as the towel moves around your body. there’s a soft look in his eyes, a lazy smile on his face as he indirectly touches you. he’s quick to throw the towel into his laundry basket, even quicker to join you in bed. 

in a motion that almost seems too soft for the fact that he just fucked you into his sheets, he pulls your back into his chest. one of his hands makes it to your side, letting it sit there. his breaths are evening out, fanning across your shoulder that he nuzzles into. his touches are hesitant against your skin, almost as if he was debating on whether or not he could touch you like this.

you almost want to push his hand away or try to make some space between the two of you. friends should not be holding each other like this, friends should not be letting each other bask in the warmth of their bodies. friends shouldn’t even be having sex, not like this.

but you figure just this once, you’ll let yourself have this moment. it’s a bit selfish, getting to have jaehyun like this. you wished he’d hold you like this every single time. you think if he did, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from falling back in love with him. there’s no way for you to win when it comes to jaehyun.

as he presses a kiss and murmurs a goodnight into your shoulder, you make a promise to yourself: you won’t ever lose yourself over jaehyun again.

jaehyun realizes how little time he’s been spending with you recently.

he’s been hearing more about this jungwoo guy. you’ve told him can’t hang out, i’m with jungwoo right now or i’ll be hanging out with jungwoo later. you’ve been so busy catching up with jungwoo that jaehyun hasn’t had the time to talk to you. no more eating or shopping together, not when jungwoo’s around.

jaehyun doesn’t want to say he’s necessarily jealous of the relationship you two share, but can’t say it doesn’t sit right with him. jaehyun is still your friend after all, and he doesn’t like hearing you talk so much about him. during the small chances jaehyun gets to talk to you, you always slip in one mention about jungwoo.

what about jaehyun? what does jungwoo have that he doesn’t? he could totally treat and touch you better than jungwoo ever could. he practically does already. he can’t help but let these little thoughts enter his mind. if jungwoo’s in the way, how is jaehyun supposed to show you how much he likes you?

it’s one day that you’re both splayed across his couch, your legs resting over his as his thumb smoothes across the skin of your thigh when jungwoo is brought up again. out of the corner of his eye, he can see you smile and lightly laugh at your phone. jaehyun, being the nosy person that he is, can’t help but try to reach over to see what you’re laughing at.

you’re quick to push him away, chuckling at the sight of the small pout on his face. he tries again, and you decide it’s probably better just to sit beside him instead. you begrudgingly show him your phone, and he squints his eyes so he can read your screen better.

it’s quiet for a few moments before he hums at the texts between you and jungwoo. it’s a conversation funny enough to make you laugh. he tries not to roll his eyes at the cutesy way jungwoo texts, him being clearly interested in you. he doesn’t want to say anything about it though, doesn’t want you to know that jungwoo bothers him for reasons that he shouldn’t be thinking. 

“he’s funny,” jaehyun muses, trying to stop the snarky remark he wants to say.

“way funnier than you,” you tease, watching him deflate back to his side of the couch. 

“there’s been times where you’ve laughed at my jokes though, like laughed laughed.”

“i was either super drunk or bored out of my mind, so those don’t count.”

jaehyun rolls his eyes at you, deciding to ignore your words, choosing to believe that you think he’s the funniest man ever. he’s been finding himself having little competitions with jungwoo that only he’s a part of. jungwoo is funny? jaehyun is funnier. jungwoo is cute? jaehyun is cute, too, just give him a minute.

jaehyun tries to boil it down to the fact he’s always been competitive, but he knows it’s more than that. in his head, it doesn’t matter what jungwoo does better than jaehyun because right now, you're in his apartment, on his couch, deciding to spend meaningless time with him. 

“what have you both been doing? i haven’t seen you at all this week.” he hates how his voice sounds, a little too clingy for his liking, but he hopes you don’t hear it.

“nothing, really. we’ve just been going out to eat or hanging out when we have the time.”

jaehyun figures you both somehow have all the time in the world in order to be hanging out this much. he makes his voice whiny before speaking, “i miss you, please don’t leave me forever.”

you laugh at the sound of his voice, pulling your legs away from him. “you’re acting like me spending time with jungwoo is gonna kill you.”

“what’s killing me is the fact i don’t get to see you that much anymore,” he grumbles. 

he notices that you don’t respond right away, and when he goes to look at you, your eyebrows are furrowed and there’s a certain look in your eyes. did he say too much? before he can start panicking, you turn towards him, “don’t do that.”

“do what?”

“pretend like you miss me when we already spend a lot of time together. you literally called me up the other night.”

jaehyun lets out a breath, “sorry, but you’re still my friend. i do miss you, i’m jealous that jungwoo gets to see you that much.” although he says it jokingly, there’s definitely truth behind his words. it might not mean much to you, but the fact that jungwoo gets to see you in a way that only jaehyun feels like he deserves, it hurts him.

“i’m gonna tell jungwoo you’re being mean to him,” you huff.

“tell him then,” jaehyun slings an arm around your waist, “let him know that he needs to learn how to share.”

“first of all,” you slide his arm off of you, “don’t say it like that because you make it sound like i’m an object. two, i think you might need to learn how to share.”

he hums, “you were mine first.”

“i was never yours,” you grouch, “you made that clear when you rejected me.”

he can tell you’re joking, but he can feel his blood run cold at your words. it’s a reminder to him that the rejection is still clear in your mind, reminding him just how much he hurt you. it will always be a reminder of how he messed up what could've been a good relationship with you if he just had more time.

he can’t blame you for his own mistake. he can’t.

in the best way he can, he puts his hands together and grovels, “please, can you find it in your kind soul to forgive me?”

you scoff, rightfully so, before grabbing your phone to take a picture of him. you’re quiet for a few moments more, jaehyun knowing that you’re about to post the picture on your instagram story for everyone to see, including jungwoo. he doesn’t want to stop you, equal parts of wanting to show off how you’re hanging out with him and a little bit of embarrassment. 

you set your phone down, placing your hands on top of his, “you can stop. now i kinda just feel bad for you. you do deserve it, though.”

jaehyun doesn’t move, staring at you with a certain look in his eyes. he can tell you right here, he thinks. he’s thought about what he’d say if he were to confess to you almost too much. he’s practiced his lines before, thinking up the perfect way he’d confess. it almost feels right to do it now, clearing his throat and-

your phone buzzes, pulling your attention away from him. he grimaces when you show him the notification. what seems to be jungwoo’s account liking your story, the story that has jaehyun begging for your apology posted on it. you sigh dreamily, “told you he’s funny.”

“not funny when it’s jungwoo.”

“jaehyun!”

you find yourself drinking at jaehyun’s place again.

it’s a slow night, both of you had stressful days. you choose to stay in jaehyun’s kitchen, laughing at unfunny words and pouring more wine for each other as the night rolls on. you didn’t mean to stay over so late, but jaehyun practically begged you to spend some time with him. you were quick to say yes under the guise that all he wanted to do was be with his friend.

before the night went too deep, you texted jungwoo saying that you probably won’t be able to call him tonight. he responds quick, a have fun! and i hope you sleep well :) flashing on your screen. you smile warmly at the messages, but quickly notice jaehyun also staring at them. you push at his shoulders, whining over how he’s invading your privacy.

his cheeks are rosy from the wine, a sly smile on his face as he asks, “how am i not supposed to look when i see you smiling like that.”

“you’re supposed to be a good friend and support me in my times of need!”

he puts his hands up in defense, that annoying smile still looking back at you, “thank you for being so vulnerable around me. and who’s to say i don’t support you in your times of need?”

you hear the double meaning in his words, swatting him away, “hey! you’re actually so gross.”

he just chuckles at your words, enjoying how easily you get embarrassed at his teasing. it’s been happening more often, and jaehyun can’t help but piece together that it might be because of jungwoo. jaehyun feels that you might be slipping away right in front of him, and he can’t really do anything to stop it.

you aren’t completely unaware of jaehyun trying to get you to hang out with him. he’s been sending more texts recently, nothing really important being said. you’re not sure how obvious you’re being with jungwoo, but you’re sure that jaehyun has at least an inkling on how you feel about him. which leads you to believe that jaehyun might be a little jealous.

it was never your intention to make him jealous. that night when you first saw jungwoo again was all unplanned. you never thought you would end up talking to him, never thought you’d like the way he treated you. he was so sweet to you, always trying to take care of your every need when prompted.

it’s bad to compare, but you realize that jaehyun’s only being so nice to you now is because jungwoo’s being nice to you. 

that’s not to say that jaehyun was never not nice to you, but you could tell that it’s a different kind of nice when it comes to him. the relationship you have with jaehyun now feels more like a bandaid to cover all of the bad things that have happened, no one bothering to address it. you don’t want to either way, no use in bringing up what shouldn’t be talked about.

even now, as you’re here with him in his kitchen, feeling the cold air from the open window drift in, there’s unspoken words between the two of you. you can hear the music playing from his speakers in the other room, the melody sticking in your head. it’s weird to think that you would’ve never gotten to see jaehyun like this if you didn’t stay with him.

it’s quiet for a few moments, apart from jaehyun humming along to the song that’s playing. it’s dark, his warm lights low as they cover the both of you. it’s nice like this, a little drunk and a little quiet; you don’t have to think about anything you don’t want to. you don’t think before you speak, “i do miss you, too, you know.” 

“yeah?”

“you’re still someone i appreciate, even after everything.”

he doesn’t respond, and you think he’s taking in your words. you’re not sure why you didn’t specify ‘friend’ but you know he knows better than to have his hopes up anymore. you see that the tips of his ears are pink, the lazy smile on his face showing that he’s a bit tipsy too. he’s not looking at you, you’re not really sure what he’s thinking-

“i think… i think i love you.”

“what?”

his eyes immediately snap to yours, widening as he realizes what slipped out of his mouth. slightly panicking, he stands up, trying to backtrack, “no, i- look-”

“what did you say?”

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it-”

“what does that even mean? you can’t just randomly say you love me and then take it back?”

he chooses not to answer right away, eyes darting all around as he tries to come up with an answer. he can fix this, he can help himself, it’s just… he doesn’t really want to. it’s almost selfish with how he feels a little relief with his confession. “since you’re asking,” he starts, “i… i like you. i’ve liked you for a while now.”

when he looks at you, the anger from before is still there. you’re biting down on your lip, hands balled at your sides as his words hit you. “jaehyun… do you know how wrong that is? since when? after you rejected me?”

“no, i- fine. yes, after i rejected you. i know it’s wrong and i know i shouldn’t but it clicked for me, even if it was a little late.”

“a little late? jaehyun, you’re telling me this after you know i’m talking to someone. you knew that there’d be a high chance that i wouldn’t feel the same. i know you’re not that dumb.”

“but that’s how you felt when you asked me out? even if there was a chance that i would say no to you, you still did it, right? that’s exactly how i feel, how bad would it be if i tried?”

a shocked laugh leaves you, “that isn’t fair! you’re not being fair! you’re not thinking about how i would feel knowing this!”

you think he knows that it’s not the same between you and him. you confessed because you genuinely thought you had a chance with him. jaehyun’s only confessing because you’re talking to jungwoo. 

“i should’ve never let this happen! fuck, i knew if i kept talking to you, something bad would happen.”

he scoffs, wanting to call out your bluff. “i never forced you to come over and talk. you weren’t forced to come over and have sex with me. you could’ve stopped this at any time, but you kept coming back to me.”

you let out an exasperated sound, “we were friends, jaehyun. friends hang out and talk, that’s literally all we were doing.”

he snaps, “friends don’t fuck. friends don’t hold each other after sex. you can’t say that you didn’t feel anything between us. that’s the whole reason i called you for sex the other day, i needed you."

you can hear how loud your heart is pounding in your chest. your head hurts already, the faint song playing in the other room only adding to the pain. there’s nothing more that you want to do than just go home. you wish you could’ve been more clear, you wished you would’ve drawn a clearer line between the two of you. now you’re stuck like this.

you sigh out, mumbling into the quiet air, “if i had known that you were gonna be like this, i would’ve made sure to end whatever we had as soon as possible.”

“if you never met jungwoo, then this probably never would’ve happened. i could’ve asked you out the normal way, but you kind of forced me into drunkenly confessing to you.”

you send a glare straight at him, “do not assume how i would feel in any situation. the fact that you didn’t even want to tell me that you liked me says everything i need to know.”

“how was i supposed to tell the girl i rejected that i like her now?”

“exactly! don’t you see how fucked up that is?”

he shrugs, closing himself off before you can start up again. you know how he gets, pretending that none of this really matters to him. it’s childish, and you know he knows it. you don’t know what else to do. if he can’t sort himself out, there’s no reason for you to be here anymore.

you’re quick to get up and out of the kitchen. he doesn’t look at you at first, but as soon as he hears you pack your stuff into your bag and your car keys in hands, he follows right after you. there’s a startled look on his face, you can tell that he didn’t think you would leave him. you watch as he raises a hand to stop you, but quickly puts it down after some thought.

you let out a breath, “i’m leaving. you can decide if you want to pull yourself together and grow up if you wanna talk. if not, don’t even bother texting me.”

he doesn’t try to argue, watching as you walk out his door. he can’t feel anything, doesn’t really want to do anything other than lay in bed. he walks over to his bedroom, the sound of a familiar slow song getting louder as he walks closer. he makes it inside, pausing the song before laying down onto his back. it’s quiet again.

he just ruined everything.

for the first time in a while, your life feels kinda normal.

there’s not a lot for you to worry about if you ignore a few things. work is fine, your friends are celebrating your freedom, and jungwoo comforts you in every way possible. you realize that jungwoo might’ve been everything you’ve been looking for in a person. he stays close when you need him and gives you space when you ask.

you tell jungwoo that you’re happy to have him right now. you tell him that you’re sorry for acting a little weird recently (he quickly denies your claim). you don’t tell him exactly what happened with jaehyun, but you can assume he at least knows a little. he doesn’t try to pry it out of you, choosing not to remind you of something you don’t want to think of.

and you’re not thinking about it. you haven’t gotten any texts from jaehyun, so why should you care?

as much as you don’t want to admit it, it does feel weird not having jaehyun in your life. you didn’t realize how much you thought about him or how much time was dedicated to being with him. it didn’t seem to matter at first because you thought it was because you both were friends, but you realize he was kind of stringing you along.

there’s a lot of time you have to yourself now. you don’t have to worry about jaehyun calling you randomly throughout the day or one of his spontaneous meetups. you don’t have to think about his you up? texts during the late hours of the night. you don’t have to think about any hurt he’s caused you in the past. none of it will mean anything anymore.

until you get a call from johnny.

“hey, johnny. what’s up?”

he skips right past your greeting, “why doesn’t jaehyun want to hang out with you?”

you’re shocked for multiple reasons. one, of course, johnny already knows your business. two, how dare jaehyun say he doesn’t want to hang out with you. you scoff, “what exactly did he say?”

“he said he was busy, but, like i know he’s not gonna be busy. and that obviously means that something is going on between you two.”

you want to scream into your phone’s microphone. jaehyun doesn’t deserve to set the boundary between you two. he was the one who messed it up in the first place, so why is he the one trying to put distance between you two? “johnny,” you start, “do you promise not to tell anyone about what i’m about to tell you? you can’t even tell jaehyun.”

he lets out a little shocked sound and you can imagine him sitting up straight. he whispers into the call, “what is it?”

“the other night, jaehyun told me he likes me. actually, in his own words, he said he thinks he loves me.”

he gasps loudly into the phone, “what? are you sure? like jaehyun said that? jaehyun?”

“exactly! it doesn’t even seem like something he’d do! he said it was because we were both drinking.”

“that doesn’t even matter,” johnny sighs, “you don’t go around saying that to your friend, especially not the friend you rejected before.”

“you get it! that’s literally what i told him! i need to sit down with you so we can discuss this.”

it’s quiet on the other side of the call, and by his silence, you can tell he’s planning something. it’s never good when he does, so you try to call out his name before he can think any more, but you’re too late.

“i think you should sit down with him to talk about what happened.”

you sarcastically laugh, “he hasn’t even texted me, there’s no way i’m talking to him first.”

“i didn’t say you should text him first, i’m just saying that you both should talk. you can’t just leave this off on bad terms.”

“and if i want to?”

“i know you don’t. plus, it feels like i’m a child whose parents are going through divorce, so you need to fix this.”

you whine into the phone, which causes johnny to laugh on the other end. he’s right, you don’t want this to end badly with jaehyun. even if you both decide to never talk again, you don’t want to have a strained relationship with him. after a few moments, you answer him, “fine, but don’t have your hopes up because even i don’t know what’s gonna happen.”

“okay, perfect, because i already kinda convinced jaehyun to meet up with you.”

“johnny!”

he defends himself, “like i said, i’m basically seeing you guys go through a divorce. please bring my family back together.”

“whatever, do what you want to do.” johnny cheers from the other end of the call, quickly letting out an you won’t be disappointed! before he hangs up, not even letting you say goodbye. as much as you try to hide it, a part of you is happy at the thought of jaehyun wanting to work things out with you.

even if you don’t know what you want just yet, you’ll get yourself ready.

you realize you’re no longer happy when a few days later, jaehyun shows up to your front doorstep, a frown painted on his face.

you almost want to slam the door on him when he speaks. his voice is quiet, “why did you tell johnny you didn’t want to hang out with me?”

as soon as he stops talking, it all clicks in your head. johnny tricked you both. you’ll have to get mad at him later, but for right now, you have to deal with jaehyun who’s pretending he didn’t just ignore you for almost two weeks. you reluctantly let him in, watching as he walks in almost too normally.

no one bothers talking, no one trying to make the first move. you’re staring him down and he tries to ignore the hard stare you’re giving him. while you’re glaring at him, you can see how he looks more tired than usual. the faint lines under his eyes give it away, and when he does finally make eye contact with you, it’s soft, no anger behind his eyes.

you step back, breathing in before speaking, “let’s go talk in my room.”

he sends you a soft smile, not needing you to guide him to your room. he knows the whole layout by now, feeling more like he’s leading you to your own room. he opens the door for you, choosing to let you walk in first. it’s awkward when you have to motion for him to step in, watching him not really knowing what to do.

you move to sit on your bed, and he moves to sit at your desk. it’s not as awkward as it is tense. you don’t know what to say, you didn’t plan on him coming over. his eyes are darting across your room, his eyebrows furrowed as he presumably tries to start the conversation.

“how are you doing?”

you roll your eyes at the simple question, “i’ve been doing fine. i feel like my life’s been a lot calmer since that day.”

he leans forward in his seat, “really? i feel like i’ve lost ten years of my life.”

deserved, you think. you gather all your thoughts before speaking, “i think the days that i spent without thinking about you really changed how i feel. i realized just how much i was entangled in your life. it wasn’t good for me.”

he looks off to the side, taking in your words. you see the hurt that settles in his face, you see how it’s going to be burned into his memory. he smacks his lips, “i think for me it’s the opposite. i realized during this time without you really solidified my feelings. i can’t lie and say that my feelings have changed, because they haven’t.”

you feel anger bubbling up inside you, but you can’t do that today. you take a few breaths, calming yourself down as you focus on what you’re most curious about, “why did you start liking me?”

“i don’t even know. i know it’s shitty of me to realize how much you mean to me after i said no to your confession. i understand why you said no to me.”

“i’m sorry for getting mad so quickly. it was just so out of the blue, i never would’ve expected you to say that.”

you pat the spot on your bed next to you, calling his name softly. he slowly moves to your side, his eyes focused on his hands splayed across his knees. after all this time without you, he wishes he could hold your hand in his, even if he tried to play it off as a joke. it’s been too long without your touch. you took away the only thing that kept him close to you. 

“can i ask something?”

he nods, putting all of his focus on you. it feels intense when he does, you haven’t had him this close in a long time. you clear your throat, “this wasn’t all because of jungwoo, right?”

he sighs, his jaw clenching as he thinks of the right words to say. he’s deep in thought, and you almost want to tell him to drop it all together. he decides to speak up, “honestly? seeing you both together kind of made me realize my feelings. i was losing you to him, and i really couldn’t handle it. i’m not trying to ruin whatever you have going on with him, i promise.”

you don’t know what else to say. so much of this could've been prevented if you kept an eye out for yourself. you also wouldn’t want to go back and change what you’ve done. you don’t regret ever being jaehyun’s friend, you don’t regret all the memories you’ve made with him. 

“so, this… this is really over then?”

you shrug, “i would think so.”

it’s quiet for a few moments, the both of you letting the thought seep in. “this” has never been defined between the two of you, but you can assume it’s almost everything you do together. what you’re feeling now is close to how you felt when he first rejected you. what’s different now is that you can’t help but feel just a little relieved, ending something that probably should’ve never happened.

in another world, you think you would’ve reciprocated jaehyun’s feelings. it would’ve been easy, pieces easily falling into place as you both fall for each other. it’s almost as if it were supposed to be something that was natural. but jaehyun had given the time for you to move on, and you did. it was too late for him to realize his own feelings.

“we can still be friends if you can handle that.”

he laughs incredulously, “if i can handle that? i’m a grown man, thank you very much.”

“yeah? well i think if i were you, i wouldn’t be able to hold back my feelings,” you tease.

he grumbles, “too soon, you’re too mean.”

jaehyun watches a pretty smile adorn your face, and if it weren’t for the current circumstances, he would tell you how pretty you look. he keeps the thought to himself though, opting to ask, “how about one last drink together as friends who are a little more than friends?”

you hum, pretending to think about it. you watch worry wash over his face, and you do feel bad a little bit. “one more time, just for your sake. you look like you might start crying.”

he groans as you walk away to get some wine for the both of you. you’re by yourself for a few moments as you pour the drinks. you feel awkward in here by yourself, left with thoughts and memories of all the things you’ve done together. all the times you’ve had sex, all the times where he’s felt like your boyfriend, but none of it holds to him being your friend.

you don’t know if you can continue being friends with him. 

it would be unfair to jungwoo. you haven’t told him the exact dynamics of how your friendship with jaehyun worked, but you can assume he knows most of it. 

you return to the sight of jaehyun looking around your room. he’s been in here too many times to count, and yet seeing him here now, it’s weird. he feels out of place, he feels almost like a stranger in your own apartment. despite the history you have with him, it seemed to fall apart so easily as soon as conflict hit.

he thanks you quietly when you hand him the glass. you take a small sip of your drink, watching jaehyun do the same from the corner of your eye. after the drink, he chooses to speak, “so how are you and jungwoo?’

“that’s how you want to start our small talk?” you splutter out.

“i mean, can i not be interested in my friends' love life?”

well it’s hard when you were directly involved in it. you shrug, taking another small sip before speaking, “i’m… really happy that i’m talking to him. he takes care of me, he’s always asking how i’m doing. it’s nice being with him.”

you can tell jaehyun is trying not to let your words affect him, “are you both… officially dating yet?”

his words make you shy, your facing feeling hot at the idea of dating jungwoo. brushing off his words, you laugh, “no! not yet, at least. i think i’d say yes if he asked me out.”

he nods, his head hanging heavy, hand twirling the wine in his glass. you know what he’s thinking, you don’t need to ask him. you can’t be his, you won’t ever be his. you think that this was never supposed to work out, no matter how hard you tried or how much you think he could’ve loved you. he wasn’t meant for you.

“okay, one more thing.”

he nods, turning his attention back on you.

“did you really mean it back then, like, when you said that you weren’t ready for a relationship?”

“yes, i was scared. i think back then, even though i didn’t realize it, i also had feelings for you. but it was… it just wasn’t the right time for me. even though i liked spending so much time with you, there were things i wanted to figure out first.”

you cock your head to the side, “like?”

he hums in thought for a bit, trying to remember times from so long ago. thinking back, you remember how you felt old, you felt like you were already an adult. but he’s right, there were still things you didn’t know about yourself, and you wonder if dating jaehyun would’ve stopped you from figuring them out.

“i guess… mostly wanting to decide what i wanted to do with my life. now that i’ve somewhat settled, i feel more confident in what i want. even though it came at the worst time, i was so sure that i could see you in my future.”

the confession doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. you can relate to how he feels. for the longest time, you felt that you needed jaehyun in your life. it wasn’t until after he confessed to you that you saw that there’s more to your life than him. you’re thankful for all the time you’ve had with him, but there’s still so much more for you to do.

it’s like this for a few more hours, the sunset bleeding into the night time. you both have a few more drinks, jaehyun eventually turns on music playing on his phone. you feel a lot better now. you only want the best for jaehyun, and you think that this is the best for the both of you.

jaehyun has to leave at some point, one of the last buses back to his place coming soon. you don’t want him to go, you don’t want him to leave the comfort of your bedroom. there’s a small part of you that’s scared that you’ll never see him here again. you try to remind him that this is what you both need, clear, distinct boundaries.

you walk him to your door, “you’ll text me once you're at your apartment, right?”

he shuffles over, “yeah, i will. johnny will make sure i get there safe.”

you nod, opening the door for him. he walks out, watching you with an unsure look on his face. a part of you wants to let him in, wants to let him give you one last kiss. it’s wrong, your grip on your door getting tighter at the thought. he still has a strong pull on you, your hand wanting to reach for his.

it’s not meant to be.

“goodnight, jaehyun. i’ll see you soon, okay?”

“alright, goodnight. i… i’ll be here if you ever need me. i’ll wait.”

you smile, “i know. thank you, get back safe.”

he nods, waving you off before he walks away. you close the door, locking it behind you. it’s quiet now, no soft conversations, no laughing, just the sound of your feet pattering on the floor. 

you don’t really feel like crying. you don’t feel like there’s something missing inside you. jaehyun used to be a big part of you, but as time went on, he took up less and less space.

there’s more important things to worry about than someone who couldn’t make time for you. you have time to figure things out now, you have time to figure out what you really want, whether that’s jungwoo or someone else. 

you’ve never felt better. 

as jaehyun scrolls through instagram, he sees a post from you. it’s been a while since he’s seen you in person, so he’ll take anything he can get. the first few photos are of you, and the next few are pictures of things he assumes you found pretty. the last photo is what makes him pause, a photo of what he can only assume is jungwoo holding your hand.

he checks the comments, some of your friends replying with different emojis, all to tease you with. they all seem to know about your budding relationship with jungwoo. jaehyun’s glad that it’s going well for the both of you. it’s what you deserve after what he put you through.

he hung out with you and johnny the other day. as much as everyone tried to be normal, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he changed the dynamics of your friendship. you and johnny were the same, easily laughing and joking around with each other. it’s not exactly awkward when you and jaehyun talk, but the air around you is certainly different.

it’s what should’ve happened, at the start of it all you both should’ve set rules. jaehyun realizes that he would’ve never gotten to see you in the ways he did. warm lights from his kitchen painting over your skin, or when the light from the moon would shine over your body while he holds you close. he wouldn’t trade those memories for anything.

you were all he had, and losing you is something he will always regret. he knows that you’re doing good now, not just with jungwoo. he doesn’t want to come in and ruin what you’ve built up. it doesn’t matter how much he wants to hold you in his arms or kiss you, you’re better off without him.

he just wishes he had more time.

a/n: hey people... what did we think of this ending... jaehyun is my friend i do not hate him i like him... anyways i hoped u like this... it took longer than i thought it would but im glad its out HOORAYYY

taglist: @froggyforyoongi @the-universe-in-you-jjh @ppeachyttae @omlhyck @hazyhae @haechology @jaehyunful @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @diorcities @hrts4doie @ohmytyong @ecvm5236 @faeryus @riri4andy @rjtulips @missesgirl @shiorebirth @sugaringgcaramel @camomillie @ninicornposts @il02isa @sincerelyneo @perfumejamal @justhgiwo @lovingyoulovinme2 @babyriannie @eunseoksimp @jeonreal @mawnehkah @shoetaroshoe (thank u all omg 🫂❤️)

And They Were Roommates

Summary: After a semester of living with your best friend you end up having to move in with someone who is the complete opposite.

-

Your procrastination caught up to you as the semester ended with the final exam of your physics class. While this meant the stress of school and it’s workload was off your shoulders you still had to figure out your housing situation for next semester. You spent this semester with your friend, Mark, who let you stay at his place for two whole semesters until time snuck up on you and you realized you were going to have to find a place to stay for next semester in four weeks. Posts online sold short as the fear of running out of time snuck up to you and you resorted to the only thing you knew.

“Please let me stay with you another semester.” You whined, plopping down on his mattress next to his desk where he was currently preoccupied with video games on his monitor and headset. He turns the mic away from his mouth so the gamers don’t hear him speak.

“Y/n I told you I'd be able to help you for a semester and you swore you’d have it all figured out by then.”

You groan lulling your head back before you sit up straight again to explain your case before you hear Mark yelling at the monitor’s screen.

“Bro what the fuck?” He shouts, vigorously moving his thumbs across the controller to make up for his loss but it obviously fails as his arms go slack and he’s powering off the monitor before turning to look at your brooding.

“I was gonna figure it out but then I got swamped with finals and I finished my last one still thinking I’d find something online but now it’s four weeks until next semester and I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” You pout looking at the ground as Mark’s palm meets your sweatpant clad thigh rubbing it to console you as he peers into your eyes with a comforting grin.

“Look for another week and if you still can’t find anything I’ll hook you up with something.”

You inflate at his words, a smile spreading across your lips.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nods as you squeal, getting up to give him a tight hug as he groans in surprise at your tight grasp, still hugging you back nonetheless.

“You’re the bestest ever!”

“If I stop being the bestest will you let me go?” You pull away from him, laughing while he dramatically cranks his neck.

“How are you literally that small with all that strength? Geez.”

You ignore him and fix yourself on his lap, turning your attention over to his monitor.

“What were you playing that had you so riled up?”

Your eyes trail across the numerous apps and games laid out on his desk where his LED keyboard changes colors; fading into one another as the shades transform each second.

“Why? Did you wanna learn?” He perks up at the possibility of teaching you the ropes and various controls along with tricks he acquired from playing for so long.

“I would but I have to go make sure I’m not homeless next semester.” You explain, getting off his lap at once. He deflates at your decline as you shoot him a smile.

“Some other time though I promise.”

Your back is to him before he knows it and you are already out of the door embarking on the journey of fixing what your procrastination broke.

“I’m teaching you how to game before the new year even if it’s the last thing I do!” Mark shouts from his room while you stand in the hallway startled by his volume. Shaking your head at him you don’t respond looking over your options for the roof that you hoped would be over your head soon.

-

Finishing the last set of hip thrusts promptly you gathered your things and made your way to the exit of the gym. You took the morning to scan out your options which were slim to none since none of them seemed as great as living with Mark for the past two semesters. One offer had a spacious room with the condition of sharing one bathroom but of course the seller charged an arm and a leg for the space. Running low as Christmas was right around the corner and everyone around walked with high spirits to pair with the holidays. Twisting your key around in the door you walked into the house, pulling your shoes off in a struggle before looking up to meet several eyes that lounged in Mark’s living room. Stunned, you wave sheepishly. The boy didn’t let you know he would be having friends over and you never minded most of the friends he had over. Most of them were nice, welcoming you to sit and have a few drinks with them, sometimes agreeing, which led to you finding a friend in one of his visitors. Johnny, philosophy major who made you forget that he’s at the top of his class with many of the sentences his lips allow to slip past them. He’s quick and witty, happy and spirited enough to take you out of many dreadful episodes you went through while attending university.

“Y/n! Come lemme make you something.” You spotted Johnny at the bar waving you over as you complied, walking over to step into the arm he held out to embrace your shorter form.

“Hey, what’s the occasion?” You chuckle, wrapping your arm around his waist in a hug momentarily before leaning on the counter watching him pour stuff in a red plastic cup to soon hand it over to you.

“Finals are over and a little birdie told me that you need housing for next semester.”

Your lips form a line as Johnny makes eye contact with you, craning your neck to break it and look elsewhere to avoid the lecture he’s about to give you for procrastinating on such an important task.

“That may or may not be true.” You roll your eyes looking back at him with a stoic face.

“Y/n-”

“No.” You counter by putting your index finger up while the man peers down at you with a judging expression on his face.

“I’m going to drink this and we are going to talk about something else.”

His expression softens, complying with your request, taking a seat on the stool propping his long legs on the footrest.

“If you say so.”

A nod in finality is given to him in response and your eyes scan the apartment again, landing on the exception of Mark’s friends that you didn’t mind the presence of. You cringe at the sight of him and perfectly on cue his eyes meet yours. You shoot him a condescending smile, rolling your eyes before directing them back over to Johnny.

“Ahh yes. I forgot to inform you that Jaehyun joined us.” He teases. Your eyes form slits as you bring your cup to your lips.

“No need. We’re all adults here.”

Upon meeting him you knew it was not going to work. Your personality clashed with his when the simplest of topics were spoken upon. Thundering laughter could ripple through your lungs and the sight of him made you stop, adjust and remain quiet. Maybe his piercing gaze made you uneasy or maybe the way his stance never wavered when you shot a sly insult at him. Whatever it is you have no interest in finding out.

“Talking about me?” Jaehyun chimes in, standing next to Johnny. A smug look decorates his stark features, black hair falling onto his forehead perfectly, cheeks lightly flushed from intoxication.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You nonchalantly shrug him off, sucking your teeth.

You’re encouraged to gulp your drink down and head for your bedroom to shower, no longer feeling the need to be out of your room any longer with him here. His eyes remain on your form, forming slits as he analyzes your body language thoroughly. You are uncomfortable, intimidated, and on-edge even? The thought brings a smile to his face before he speaks.

“Would’ve thought after staying with Mark for a bit he’d show you how to properly greet his guests.”

Before you can form another sentence Johnny switches the conversation, patting Jaehyun on the back as he talks about something along the lines of the plans for Christmas and a New Year’s party but you are unable to make out his words as you stare at Jaehyun practically livid as you feel the hairs on your body stand up. You walk past him to spill the rest of your drink down the drain, his warm body slightly rubbing against yours due to the tight space in the kitchen. A last wish ‘goodnight’ is all you utter before trailing over to your room where you shower and huff out in relief of being away from the highly infuriating male.

-

You fidget with the controller in your hand as Mark guides your fingers from behind you, shouting profanities at the screen through his headset eliciting a giggle from you as your eyes stay glued on the screen where absolute chaos is occurring which is in your advantage even though you can’t say the same for your opponents who you only differentiate by the color coded dots above the character’s heads.

“Almost there. Press these for me.” His hands direct your fingers to the back buttons of the controller. Graphics flash across the screen, your tongue poking out in concentration as your friend continues his hollering while you remain seated on his lap. Your fingers slide against the buttons once more before the words on the screen signal your victory and you drop the device on the counter to scream in excitement, arms going to wrap around Mark’s neck instinctively. He doesn’t seem to mind since his arms wrap around your form in return. You don’t think you have ever seen him this happy since ever so you find yourself staring at his cheeks that show as he smiles widely, genuinely even.

“If I knew me playing video games made you this happy I’d have done it sooner.” You declare, letting your feet touch the ground before you stand, reaching your arms up to the ceiling in a stretch.  

“It makes me happy to see you try new things.” He looks at you with a glint in his eyes making you playfully roll yours.

“Whatever.” You laugh, plopping down on his bed, unaware of the boy still staring intently at you.

Your mind wanders to last night, Jaehyun’s face never leaving your head when he spit the words out at you that hit you like the most poisonous venom. You convinced yourself you were just as tough as him, even more tough than him you’d say but the way he spoke hurt your feelings in a way. When your eyes closed all you could dream about were his dark eyes on you, thinking of the way your skin lightly grazed against his when you squeezed by to dispose of your drink. A shutter crawls through your body at the thought, face contorting in disgust.

“Find a place to stay yet?”

You are interrupted by Mark who you direct your attention towards quickly, pondering over his question. You luckily found a place and had plans to meet with your soon to be roommate today. The space seems like it will be everything you need for a successful and less stressful semester. You did your best to make your room a sanctuary for you. A place where you could journal and rehearse the time away until you had to leave to complete your next task.

“Yeah. Heading over to look at it today actually.” You peer over at Mark who nods at your words.

“Although I am glad you found a space, I may or may not miss you.” He mumbles the last part of his sentence but you hear him clear enough to begin teasing him.

“Aww! So you admit I’m the best roommate?”

His eyes look off into space while his lips pout in a pondering state, “I never said that.”

“Oh but you were thinking it.”

He gnaws on his bottom lip before a smile breaks through on his face.

“If I say yes will I get a hug?”

You catapult towards him with your arms out while he exclaims at the sudden impact of your body crashing against his affectionately.

“I didn’t say it yet!” He screeches at your tight hold.

“Yeah yeah whatever. I gotta head out but I’ll bring us back dinner.”

Gathering your purse from the floor you look back at his satisfied face.

“Oh I love it when you buy dinner.”

His hand rubs against his stomach while he grins down at you who chortles at his expression. You wish the boy a last goodbye before making your way over to the address in your email of what you hope will be your home in the next three weeks.

-

The traffic withers on your way there, cold wind blowing against your thick clothing as you locate the number that matches the address which you find quickly to your satisfaction, taking a deep breath before letting your knuckles meet the door when it opens before you get the chance. Your face drains of color when you behold the sight in front of you.

“Jaehyun?”

His brow furrows at your presence, cheeks slightly red from the cold while a strand of his dark tendrils fall onto his forehead.

“What are you doing here?”

You shake your head to discuss what you came here for.

“I was told to meet my roommate to see the house at this address. Is this the wrong house?” You look at the screen of your phone to check if everything lines up with your current destination and to your demise it does; perfectly.

Jaehyun’s eyes watch as you fidget nervously before he speaks out to you.

“You’re in the right place.”

You shake your head, “But-”

His body moves, expanding the gap to let you into his home.

“Come in.”

Your feet step across the threshold, letting your eyes scan across the place that is beginning to be beautifully decorated for the holidays. Ornaments, lights, and various decorations scattered in the living room.

“I just started decorating today so don’t mind the mess. It’s not always like this I promise.”

You nod, “Yeah it’s coming along really well.”

His nod is curt before he switches gears.

“The room is right around the corner here.” You follow him towards the room he points out. It’s vacant and you can tell it was recently cleaned for anyone that would come to occupy the space. The price is decent and it’s on short notice.

“I totally understand if you don’t-”

“I’ll take it.”

Jaehyun’s jaw goes slack, surprised at the fact you are agreeing to live with him for a whole semester. He knows how you feel about him. Desperation must be through the roof for you, he concludes. His eyes form slits as he sends you a wide smile, tongue poking at his cheek smugly.

“Cool.” He nods.

“Cool.”

A final nod is all it takes before you see yourself out of the cozy apartment back towards Mark’s apartment in hopes he’s not home to witness you scream into your pillow.

-

Time moves on quickly, not sparing any of your circumstances a second glance as New Years Eve approaches and you are standing in front of your vanity getting ready while Mark splays himself out on your bed reading messages from the group chat.

“Rumor has it that Johnny is having an after party.”

You scoff, clamping on your earrings and fluffing your curls out before turning around to face him.

“Party literally started thirty minutes ago.” You slip on your heels before walking over to the body-mirror shrugging at your appearance to then turn to a now sitting Mark.

“Yeah and the drive is half an hour so we should go-oh.” His eyes go wide at your appearance as you intently look at him for feedback on your attire.

“Is it too much?” You pout, thinking you must have gone a little insane when you picked out the clothing hours ago. Mark’s eyes wander over your body, pausing slightly at the swell of your breasts that were pushed up by the top you currently wore.

“Uh uh.” He incessantly shakes his head. You tilt your head at his response which he realizes quickly clearing his throat.

“It looks good I promise.” He declares with a smile.

“If you say so. I’m ready when you are.”

He grabs his keys and you trail behind him to the front door while he explains that he will most likely be parked there for days since he plans on taking an uber home or maybe even crashing at Johnny’s. As you sit down in the car he lets you plug your phone in to play music on the way there eventually resulting in the two of you screaming your lungs out to a song that plays on shuffle ending in laughter as the two of you talk about everything and nothing.

“Jaehyun is gonna be there by the way.”

You don’t know why he feels the need to inform you. His words don’t come out as a warning but you still don’t understand the reasoning behind it. You’re never one to pick a fight; most of the time dancing and drinking while pretty much keeping to yourself in exception of the times that he said something that you were sure he knew would tick you off. Jaehyun wasn’t someone you think you needed a caution sign for, not when you knew how to act according to his presence.

“Okay?” You deadpan.

“You two get along now?”

You automatically roll your eyes.

“I don’t need to get along with someone I simply don’t care for.”

Mark sighs, peering over at you when he stops at a red light.

“So you still hate him.” He says more to himself than you.

“You have to care about someone to hate them. I hold no opinion for him.”

Your tone comes across more defensive than you intend, making you pout sitting back against your seat with a huff.

“But you wouldn’t willingly say you like him.”

“But I don’t hate him..” You counter.

Mark scoffs, not believing you for a second, nevertheless he smoothly changes the subject.

“Have fun tonight though.”

You nod.

“I will.”

“Y/n. I mean it. You’ve stressed and worked your ass off this semester so please say ‘fuck everything’ and have fun.”

He was right. Picking up extra shifts and staying up late to write essays, meeting deadlines while also applying for internships and everything you were pretty much always stressed. Never being told that you were doing a good job by your folks back home made you think that if you drown yourself in your work you will eventually forget about it and by the time you remember they would finally be proud of you. It never did come but you waited for it intently with every phone call you made and received but after years of bleeding yourself dry you eventually got tired.

“For me.” Mark grips your hand from across the console, lacing his larger with your dainty ones. You giggle at his playful tone and warm touch, agreeing with a nod.

“I promise I’ll have fun!”

“For who?” He pouts maniacally.

You cackle at his stupidity, “You! Fucking weirdo!”

He laughs, maneuvering the steering wheel with one hand as his other still holds yours.

“You literally love me.” He speaks with a shitty valley girl accent.

“I literally don’t.” You deadpan ,scrolling through your phone as he pulls up onto the grass of the already full parking lot where you see Johnny attempting to tell guests where to park. Mark rolls the window down, getting his attention with a shout. He’s clad in a button up shirt  (the one dads wear on vacation) not bothering to button it up to cover anything as the wind blows his shirt back revealing his shredded torso.

He didn’t.

“You didn’t.” Mark voices your thought, making you grin at how compatible you and him are. Johnny smirks, leaning on the car with his tongue poking out.

“I don’t know what you mean, bro.”

“So you’re unintentionally being a whore?” You tease, leaning forward in your seat after taking off your seatbelt. You get out of the car to properly greet him before making your way inside the house along with him and Mark. You are unaware of the suggestive glances Johnny sends to Mark as he hits him in response, emitting a throaty laugh from him.

“It’s almost the new year, lighten up!”

Mark remains unamused by his friend’s poke at his feelings for you while you are completely immersed in opening a cooler with all your upper body strength which you gladly succeed, celebrating the miniscule victory by sipping from the glass bottle. Your name is yelled as you spot your friend, Mabel, running towards you to pull you into her arms. Her eyes take you in and you can tell she’s well intoxicated by much more than alcohol as excited squeals come from her.

“It’s so good to see you!”

“Likewise. How you been, hon?”

Her hair falls beautifully framing her face as she slurs her next sentence out.

“I’ve been good and you look gorgeous as always.”

Gushing at the compliment you fall into a conversation with her about light subjects, giggling over the way you both start stuttering over words due to the shots you two shared in the midst of your conversation. A song comes on making your faces light up as she tugs on your arm to where everyone else is dancing along to the booming speakers hung up on the wall. Not sure how long you were jumping around with the wild-spirited girl you are taken aback when she pulls you onto the balcony still giggling while she leans on the railing. The sky is black now, stars and the full moon illuminating the darkness just enough that you spot Jaehyun sitting on a bench quietly swigging a beer bottle around in his ring- adorned fingers. Tearing your gaze away you hear someone call Mabel’s name to which she quickly tells you how great it was to see you before running off as quicker than her drunken explanation. The beach is not too far from Johnny's house and you are reminded by the sound of the waves crashing at shore while your mind wanders off to how quick time is moving with you.

Jaehyun takes note of your far off gaze as you stand in your heels and pretty outfit that he was sure he would enjoy pulling off of you. His lips form a smirk at the thought gulping his beer down while you take a seat in the corner opposite of him on the floor exhaling and inhaling sharply craning your neck accentuating your pretty neck and glowing collarbones.

Your skirt hikes up a bit at your position. He envies the way you’re able to blatantly ignore him while he’s calculating what to say whenever you walk into the room, usually aiming your attention towards one of his friends but never him. The universe was rewarding him with the new year nonetheless, all the shitty moments between you and him were long gone. You needed a room and who better than him to help you with your problem? HIs thoughts are interrupted when Mark walks out onto the balcony spotting you as your once devoid of emotion eyes light up at the sight of him.

“Hey! I was wondering where you were hiding.” He jokes while you look up at him with a glint in your dark, starry eyes.

“I was dancing with Mabel but I got tired.” Your sweet voice makes him tense up, making him gnaw on his lip, nearly drawing blood. Your giggles while your Bambi eyes peer up at his friend tugs him into a hypnotic state while your fingers lace with Mark’s and he’s helping you back onto your unsteady feet, your body nearly falling onto him while you laugh at nothing inherently comical.

“Whoa. Someone’s been enjoying the party maybe a little too much.”

You shake your head muttering words of denial as your body gives him the impression that he stands correct. “I’m fine.” You slur incoherently, stumbling a bit causing the hold he has on you to tighten. Jaehyun is on his feet in a split second abandoning the beer that was once in his hand to carry the stool over to you.

“Thanks man.” He has no time to acknowledge his friend as his eyes stay locked on your form. The way you are barely able to hold yourself up on the stool.

“What’d she take?” His tone comes out stern as he directs his attention towards his friend. The inkling crawling up his back raises a sharpness in him at the way you slump yourself on Mark weakly.

“I’m not sure. I saw her make herself a drink and hang out with Mabel a bit.”

He recalls the stories he’s heard about the girl on campus. The base of her personality being the girl who dabbled in party drugs and was sure to share them with her oblivious partner of the night. His thoughts have him staring at you with an empty gaze as he unwillingly rips it from you and runs inside to retrieve a bottle of water that he makes sure is sealed and untampered with before he finds you again, tilting your chin to let the clear liquid slide down your throat, taking the bottle away to let you lean against Mark once again. Your chin rest s on his abdomen as you look up at him with your doe eyes.

“I feel funny.” You whine, rubbing your cheek against the fabric of his shirt.

“Why’d you let her hang out with Mabel?” He's not able to stop the blades that shoot out of his mouth when he asks his friend the question but the boy doesn’t catch the gist of it, stroking your hair while your eyelids look like they are becoming heavier by the millisecond. He shouldn’t feel a pang of jealousy at the sight but he does as he brushes it off and figures it is best he leave you be with his friend on the balcony. The clock is ticking as it is only thirty minutes from the New Year and Johnny is focused on getting his body closest to the most willing girl and Jaehyun would most likely be doing the same thing but he was stuck. Distracted by your smile while the wind blew your hair onto your face while Mark is quick to move it, laughing at something you utter as everyone shouts in victory of entering the New Year and your eyes locked before the treacherous act of his lips colliding with yours occurred right before his misty eyes.

-

“You promise you didn’t forget anything?” Mark asks you while lacing his fingers with yours. Laughing at his touchy gestures you glance around your room merely checking over all the stuff in your new room for the semester.

“Yes I promise. You double checked before we left, remember?” You smile lazily, before pressing your lips to his.

Funny how a few minutes changed the dynamic between you and the boy but you were thankful for it. Mark brings out the best in you and that’s exactly what you needed in the new year. He melts into your touch as you pull away patting his chest in finality.

“Get going. You’re gonna be late for your shift.”

A desperate sigh from him has you rolling your eyes playfully.

“You're gonna unpack all these boxes yourself?”

“I’ll be of assistance. No worries.”

Your eyes turn to meet his stance across the room, leaned against the door frame, arms crossed while his dimples appear to decorate his grin. Your boyfriend greets him with a nod and crouches down to peck your lips before leaving.

“I’ll call you later!” He shouts, running out of the door as you laugh at him while shaking your head. You begin taking things out of the box, organizing your little trinkets on your desk where you’d be seated most of the semester to complete your assignments. In your focused state of mind you forget Jaehyun is still standing wordlessly at your door until you pause to look at him with an oblivious pout.

“Oh uh did you need something?”

“No, I just wanted to see if you needed help unpacking, you know? Basic hospitality stuff.”

His words come out rushed as you squint at it momentarily but shrug it away before directing him to a task.

“You can take the things out of the box by my dresser. I’m not particular about where things go as long as I can see it.”

He gazes at you intently, nodding at every syllable you utter and you wait for him to trail towards where your finger is pointing. After a few awkwardly silent moments he moves and begins emptying the boxes idly while continuing your task. Half an hour passes when your lips are puffed out in a sigh and the sun is already setting due to the time change. Your head leans on the mattress behind you and you glance over at Jaehyun who’s already staring at you. His gaze does not falter when you catch him in the act, silently resigning subtlety at this point.

“Do I have something on my face?” You quip.

He tears his gaze from you to look at the ground, shaking his head and clearing his throat before answering.

“So uh you and Mark huh?”

You almost answer defensively but calm yourself down before speaking.

“Yeah. Why?”

He shrugs, muscles flexing through the thin fabric of his white tee shirt.

“Funny how you started whatever this is after you knew you were moving in with me.”

Not sure what he’s getting at, you remain wordless.

“I don’t-”

Stunned at how he scoots close to you, gripping your arm before you can widen the space between the two of you as his breath is already meeting the skin on your face before you can stop it. As a last resort you crane your neck to look the opposite way but a hand is stealthy in the act of caging your head by just a thumb and index finger that is pressed on your cheeks.

“What are you-” Your speech is distorted by the effects of his fingers causing your lips to form an involuntary pout.

 “Whatever act you think you’re so good at keeping up. Fucking drop it.”

Your heart feels like it plummets to your ass in sheer embarrassment or fear; you are not sure which one exactly when it is possibly a sick mixture of both.

“And using my friend too? You’re more fucked up than I thought.”

A malicious smirk decorates his features and you hate yourself for the way you get the urge to squeeze your thighs together at the heat that resides between your legs. His smirk grows into an eerily wide smile.

“Welcome, Roomie.”

His movements are carefully calculated as he’s close enough for his lips to graze yours, emitting a gasp from you before his hands are off of you and your bedroom door is closing behind him while you remain seated on the rug with a rapidly rising and falling chest wondering what the hell you got yourself into. While you were in the process of figuring it out you have to be sure Mark does not find out about any of this.

find love, find happiness.

tw: cheating

“leaving so soon?” unfamiliar yet familiar arm wrapped around your waist as you tried to escape from the unknown man’s bed. the more foreign the arms were, the more guilt spread around your chest; the shame of your wrongdoings. with unspoken words, you got up and left the man’s apartment. the strange route to your apartment gave you another slap of shame, just shame.

the door; unlocked. your heart started racing, million thoughts ran across your mind. he knows. how can he not? the thing was; you ran away for countless reasons; not because you were scared but because you were not bothered by every action that could possibly hurt your significant other. jaehyun was different, instead of letting you sprint away to your wonderland, he would talk about it. so unfamiliar gesture by someone you deserve no ounce of respect from.

“where were you?” billion dollar question, but was it worth winning and losing him, so you lied. “i was at my friend’s house.” you uttered softly with almost no hesitation. shameless. you shut your washroom’s door as you finally saw your reflection clearly, on the mirror in front of you. the shame arising making you look away from the mirror.

you lied. you lied. for what? at what cost? at the end, he will find out, he will know what you have been doing behind his back. he will look at you with disgust and agony. he will be in pain; caused by you, because of your wants; your unstability. you. you are the cause of what you have become now. but; jaehyun is delicate, he is gentle with what he has, cherishes what he loves; he cherishes you, loves you yet that is how you repay him.

so, you twisted the doorknob as your feet naturally brought you towards him. “i cheated, on you.” relieve was not the first thing you felt after the unspoken words left your lips. guilt, hurt and the urge to hug him. the man stood still facing you, his eyes glitched with pain, almost not believing it. “no, you are lying to me. you were with your friends.” he spoke with his raspy voice yet he did not move an inch. the jeopardy of your relationship was you, nobody else. just you.

“listen to me clearly. i went home with another man who i don’t even know anything about. i just came back from his house.” you spoke with no emotions; who are you to show your vulnerability when all you did was, hurt others? the sun shine upon through the window of your sitting room in your apartment, your eyes glanced at jaehyun’s silhouette on the floor of yours, eyes failing to glance his.

“do-” he whispered, barely audible - “do you not love me anymore? is it something i did?” he touched your cheeks, as your teary eyes met his. questions, nothing but questions flooded in your mind; how do you comfort the person you have hurt? how are you so worthy to be held by him even now? “i do. i do love you.” because you do, there is no denying, you do. there is no understanding on what you did; that is why he needs to go.

“but why-” the man was lost in his own words, forming words into sentences as he questioned you with his clouded mind, “you need to leave.” you stepped away from his palm, warmth leaving your cheeks. so familiar, yet so foreign, so distant. why do you destroy the love you recieve from your own hands; why are you the murderer of your own happiness?

“this is so fucking stupid, you lied to me then told me you cheated on me, said you love me. now you are asking me to leave?” this was his breaking point, the probability of this being a nightmare was low. “you want to stay with a woman who cheated on you?” you raised your voice, his actions were laughable, how can he stand few steps away from you and does not scream at you? how much are you able to hurt him?

“i am asking for an explanation, y/n. why did you do that?” his voice was laced with hurt and anger as he clenched and unclenched his fist, repeatedly. “i am not good with relationships neither am i convincing you that whatever i did was a mistake so you can easily forgive me. not being good in relationships is also not an excuse. i simply did not think about you when i did what i did, last night.” you wiped your tears away from your cheeks quickly, glancing at jaehyun, who was taking in what you said.

one step, two steps away from you.

the more he dragged his feets away from you, the need to step forward was desperate. you wanted to reach for his hands and hold it. ask for forgiveness, beg him to stay, anything. “i am leaving then. thank you for everything.” he smiled, sadly; tears escaping down his cheeks. so you reached out for his hands; for him to move back, once again. your palm itched, itched for his hands, you want to hold him, so much.

“yeah, that’s okay. please, know that you tried your best in this relationship. you were never the problem, please please, never blame yourself for anything. god, you gave so much love to me. you have so much love in yourself-” you smiled back at him, maybe another time, another time where you know yourself better then you can cross path with him and fall in love all over again. “so fall in love again, please be happy with someone who gives you love and happiness. i will always root for you.”

-

the sun still shines bright, it’s april again. the cherry blossom is overrated in your opinion. you personally like sitting on the rooftop of your workplace where you can observe the whole seoul.

for now, you fixed your borrowed dress as you were about to leave the venue, “you came?” the voice you yearned so much, jaehyun, he wore his black tuxedo; how perfect for a groom. he looks happy. “i would never miss your wedding.” you gave a soft smile, you stared at his eyes; happiness, warmth, still comforting. he just does not look happy, he looks in love. “i am so happy for you.”

masterlist

“Someday I’ll write poems about this, but first I must survive it.” ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ [Thanks for 100+ followers]ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

TITS OBSESSED!JAEHYUN

tits obsessed!jaehyun loves to snake under the blankets, lift your shirt and suck your big et bloated tits while you're still sleeping. He licks them so well, the sounds of him sucking your sensitive nipples awakes you. Eyes opened, you find him on your boobs, lapping like a naughty little puppy... tits obsessed!jaehyun always watches your tits, whatever you're doing. This includes you when it's raining, makes you shiver and showing up the shape of your tits through the fabric. God, this always makes him hard. tits obsessed!jaehyun insidiously suggests you to wear undersized swimsuit and casual clothed in order to make your breasts even bigger. tits obsessed!jaehyun can't wait to see you pregnant of him and suck all your breasts milk. Of course, this becomes his favorite drink and doesn't want to drink anything else after. Sometimes, you have to scold him because he steals the baby's milk too much. tits obsessed!jaehyun fucks you hard in bed before he falls asleep, head against your mellow big boobs. It reassures him because they smell so good that he feels like a baby with his mommy. tits obsessed!jaehyun adores when you rub your beautiful breasts against his large cock. That makes him cum hard and loves to see all his cum splashed on your pink tits. Of course, he comes to clean up all his mess. tits obsessed!jaehyun likes to slips his hands under your top just to rub your big breasts and your nipples, as if nothing happened. This always ends up to make him fucking hard. tits obsessed!jaehyun collects all the nudes you sent to him, this of course includes your boobs pics. And their so beautiful, he can't count all the times he jerked off while watching your polaroids. tits obsessed!jaehyun takes pictures of your magnificent body asleep, especially your tits. Sometimes, he does it without asking. tits obsessed!jaehyun feeds himself on your boobs. No matters if it's real food or your warm and soft milk. He's just in love with them.