Is This Genuine Or A New Mask - Tumblr Posts
I'm....... very hesitantly optimistic....
My mother and I had a surprisingly open conversation about my eldest being autistic, me being audhd, and basically the entire family being autistic/adhd/both. (Touched base on pots again too)
This coming from the woman who prior to this chat, habitually rejected such things/diagnosis. Who would get manic and mean about her thoughts and frustrations with ND folks, especially family. (Unless it was her own offspring. In which case we weren't ND we were just 'hella weird' and needed correcting/shamed to become 'normal'.)
Even going so far as to suggest the entire family should get together for an important meeting. To hash things out. From childhood to present day.
While this all sounds amazing.... I am so scared to believe that this is genuine. I'm scared to believe she suddenly very recently turned her whole belief/attitude around and is trying to have the entire family make amends.
She hurt me so deeply, especially within the last 5 years. She broke my trust, and our entire relationship. I've been distant but polite these last few years. Unable to work myself up to confronting her about the hurt, and what she has said behind my back to other family members.
I don't know what to expect with this family meeting scheduled for sometime in the coming months..... but I have a gut feeling this big conversation is going to drastically change the dynamic of the entire family and I'm unsure if it'll be for the better or not.
I know damn well feelings are going to get hurt.... because raw emotions are going to burst forth from at least half of us. This chat has been a long time coming. I'm just anxiously awaiting to find out the intention behind her change. The intention behind this suggestion.
I want to believe she has changed for the better. So bad. But last time I thought that, I was stabbed in the back and couldn't trust a 2nd time. I just couldn't. So we will see what all happens. It'll probably be when we all meet for the holidays tbh.