Incorrect Haikyuu Quotes - Tumblr Posts

Incorrect x reader Haikyuu quotes !!

Part 2, Nekoma edition! ( bonus Akaashi and Bokuto (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ )

Here’s more incorrect quotes, again if you know the person who made the original quote feel free to tag them. Here’s a Nekoma version because they’re my favoite. I’ll do the other teams later. Also to my new followers, bad choice but keep doing it.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

(Y/N) : Kozu ? You’re still awake?

Kenma: it’s not that late

(Y/N): it’s 2am

Kenma: it’s not that late

(Y/N): how long are you planning to stay awake?

Kenma: until 5am

(Y/N): …we have school at 7

Kenma: until 5 am

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Yaku: if you were going to die , what would be your last words ?

(Y/N): finally

Yaku: No -

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lev: four months…

Kuroo: what’s he talking about?

(Y/N), giggling: It’s nothing really-

Lev: THATS HOW LONG YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Akaashi: can you recommend me a book that made you cry?

(Y/N): general mathematics 6th edition

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Kuroo: wow that shirt is great, (Y/N).

(Y/N): thanks.

Kuroo : but I bet it would look better on Kenma’s floor

Kenma: are you hitting on (Y/N)… for me?

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

( aged up )

Yamamoto : Aw you had a crush on me

Yamamoto : that’s embarrassing

(Y/N): we’re married

Yamamoto : still

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lev: here you go (Y/N), a nice cup of hot coffee.

(Y/N): oh… it’s cold.

Lev: Nice cup of coffee.

(Y/N): it’s horrible-

Lev: Cup of coffee.

(Y/N): Is this even coffee?

Lev: Cup.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

(Y/N): I can’t go, stress is bad for the baby

Kuroo: What baby?

(Y/N): me.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

(Y/N) : Say yes to Drugs

Yaku: Say no to drugs

Kuroo: it doesn’t matter what you tell drugs

Kuroo : because if you’re talking to drugs you’re taking Drugs

(Y/N): thanks science genius

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Kenma: Why are your tongues purple?

(Y/N): We had slushees, i had a red one

Kuroo: I had a blue one

Kenma: oh

Kenma:

Kenma: OH

Fukunaga:

Fukunaga: So you drank each other’s slushees?

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Cop: What’re your names?

Bokuto: Don’t tell them, (Y/N)

Cop : (Y/N)…

Bokuto : shit

(Y/N): Nice going, Bokuto

Cop:

(Y/N): fuck.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

(Y/N), on the phone with Kenma: What’re you doing?

Kenma, playing video games: The dishes

(Y/N): was that a laser gun?

Kenma: it’s a bad neighborhood.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lev: Did it hurt?

(Y/N), sighing: When I fell from heaven-

Lev: when you fell from a vending machine

(Y/N):

Lev: cause you’re a snack ─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Part three !!

I can relate to this!😂😂 #readerneedstobesaved #toshitotherescue ❤️

Wakatoshi: are you going to be okay?

Y/n: tearing up, while standing bare foot on the other side of Lego covered floor

Y/n: yes...

Wakatoshi : do you want me to carry you?

Y/n: - quietly sobs- yes..

@sassycheesecake

Iwaizumi: do you want to know your gay name

Oikawa: my... my gay name??

Iwaizumi: yeah, it's your first name-

Oikawa: haha. Very funny iwa-chan-

Iwaizumi, getting down on one knee: -and my last name

Oikawa: oh- oh mY GOD

Noya: you ready for tomorrow's history test?

Tanaka: yea

Noya: what ended in 1896?

Tanaka: 1895

Noya: yea you ready

Yaku: hey do you have a bag I could borrow?

Kenma: the only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence

Yaku: literally all you had to do was say no

Mattsun: what does a skeleton call his closest homie

Makki: his vertebruh

Mattsun: is that because homies always have eachother's backs

Makki: this is why I love you

*watching a nature documentary*

Narrator: virtually nothing can survive in this environment

Noya, extremely defensive for no reason: I bet I could

Kuroo: ice skating is wild. someone was brave enough to walk onto a frozen lake and be like "you know what my feet need? knives."

Kenma: you were stabbed, do you remember anything?

Akaashi: only the ambulance ride to the hospital

Kuroo: that wasn't an ambulance. I drove

Akaashi: I heard a siren

Kenma: that was Bokuto

Bokuto: I'm sorry, I got nervous

Oikawa: Iwa-chan gave me a get better soon card.

Makki: aw, that's sweet.

Oikawa: I wasn't sick. He just thought I could do better.

Kuroo, standing with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Kenma.

Kenma: How did you do that without turning around?

Kuroo: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Tsukishima: I'm not getting into any more stupid arguments with you.

Kageyama: Earth isn't a planet.

Tsukishima: How the fuck is Earth not a planet ?!

Yamaguchi: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Kageyama: I'm a knife. Hinata, from across the room: He’s the little spoon.

I mean, Bokuto would most likely do that

Daichi: Suga always has a healthy and organic snack on hand whenever we need it.

Akaashi: That's nice... Bokurto-san just eats candy off the floor.

kenma i- oH mY gOd

kuroo: they call me coffee ‘cause i grind so fine.

akaashi: oh my god.

bokuto: they call me coffee because i keep you up past 2am.

akaashi: bokuto-san stop.

kenma: they call me coffee because i’m really bitter and people don’t like me without changing some aspect of who i am.

akaashi: oh.

Haikyuu as incorrect quotes is something I’ve been doing for a while on twitter, so might as well post them here too. 

More quotes: 2 3

atsumu: okay so this girl is foreign and has cute eyes, just your type.

suna: nope

atsumu: (groans) how are you this picky with girls man? We can’t just spawn them out of thin air-

suna: sees y/n happily eating some pocky, with a oversized hoodie that one i want that one

Suna: *gets a text message* *starts getting up to leave*

Atsumu: "where are you going you just got here?"

Suna: "to my way more interesting girlfriend."

Atsumu: "your a simp sunarin ya know that?'

Suna: "mhm happily so too."

also :: TSUKISHIMA, iwazumi, BAKUGOU, iwa <3, semi, kuroo, oikawa, HAWKS, dabi, matsunn, kunimii <3

taglist :: @chaeble, @awkwardaardvarkforever, @underratedbitch-number13 @hunnipotbish @mina-wina @smiithys

Tsukishima: Actually, I'm going to be a happier person. From now on I'll look for the bright side of life and be more understanding.

Yamaguchi: Thats great!

*Kageyama walks in the room*

Tsukishima, groaning with disgust: Fuck off.

   third gym as    🍼 and 🥖🥕🦴 ᵕ̈         third gym incorrect         quotes ˎˊ˗

⋮⋮ ˒ ₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ 𖥻 ⿻ : user @ikmaizu​ says ... ⋮⋮  “ our friend group has mega  ⋮⋮  third gym vibes ”

📋 content       ♡ # 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴 🎱       ♡ # 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘲𝘶𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴

🧺 extensions ⋮⋮  part two。

🧸 directory  ‹ ✩  like what you read ? check out more of my blog !  •ᴗ•

💬 kuroppiii ─ “ here are some incorrect quotes based on actual things my friends and i have texted to each other ... yeah , deadass . ”

،   私と   ✧   男の子    🌱 𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝘀 ...

🔉 🍼﹒and﹒🥖🥕🦴

    /mē and THǝ bois/ noun

     the group chat among four best friends; a      space in which it’s normal to be unhinged.      "𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 🍼𝘢𝘯𝘥🥖🥕🦴 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵.“

،   男の子   ✧   に会う    🌱 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝘀 ...

   .* ∅ º  🍼  𝗕𝗢𝗞𝗕𝗢𝗞 𝗔𝗦 𝗕𝗢𝗞𝗨𝗧𝗢,,

  *◌   . ☆  🥖 𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗔𝗦 𝗔𝗞𝗔𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗜,, 

  . º⋆ 🥕 𝟭𝗨𝗣𝗚𝗜𝗥𝗟 𝗔𝗦 𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗔,,

   ♡ ˙ 。  º ∘  * 🦴    𝗠.𝗖. 𝗔𝗦 𝗞𝗨𝗥𝗢,, 

  ଘ akaashi        i’m getting chipotle

    ଘ tsukishima          you’re annoying

ଘ akaashi      yes i know

    ଘ tsukishima          bring. me. some.

   ଘ kurō         TSUKISHIMA I LOVE YOU

ଘ tsukishima      i know

   ଘ tsukishima        who doesn’t

    ଘ kurō          oh shit i had bedhead the         other day but didn’t know         it lmao

ଘ kurō     idk what that says about me

        ଘ kurō              if my hair is always             unkept or if it just looks             ok with whatever

 ଘ bokuto        DID I HAVE A GROWTHSPURT?      FUCK YEAH! YOU ALL ARE      TINY NOW COMPARED TO ME

        ଘ kurō              calm down your height             gained inches not your             dick, don’t be cocky

ଘ bokuto      MY DICK DOESNT NEED     TO GROW MORE

                 ଘ akaashi                      I—

   ଘ bokuto         i just woke up

         ଘ tsukishima              i hate clowns

       ଘ akaashi             i have no photos of kurō             that are “rare” because he            didnt ride on the freaking bus

ଘ kurō        I’M RARE ALL ON MY OWN

ଘ akaashi       should i join debate

       ଘ bokuto              no you shouldn’t 

  ଘ akaashi        ok good

         ଘ bokuto               THAT WAS A DEBATE,              YOU FAILED

  ଘ tsukishima        imaging having       LIGHT MODE ON

         ଘ bokuto               FUCK OFF

    ଘ akaashi         how was everyone’s day

ଘ kuroo      i want more smoothie

        ଘ kurō             but i finished the rest of             the tropical frozen fruit mix

   ଘ kurō         disappointment strikes me        in the most niche of places

ଘ tsukishima      shush

          ଘ kurō                ok

    ଘ akaashi          weed smells bad

ଘ akaashi      people smoke it at the     ski resort i go to

         ଘ tsukishima               i hope you get high,              like second hand

    ଘ akaashi          i-

          ଘ akaashi                wow thanks

ଘ bokuto        IM GOING TO FUCKING RIOT

     ଘ bokuto            THEY GAVE ME FUCKING          SUGAR FREE REDBULL

 ଘ bokuto      I DO NOT HAVE WINGS 🤬🤬🤬