Incorrect Dc Quotes - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

Damian: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Cass: >:O

Dick: language

Jason: Yeah watch your fucking language

Tim: Okay, who taught demon spawn the fuck word?!

Stephanie: 'The fuck word'.

Duke: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Tim: Oh my god they censored it

Stephanie: Say fuck, Duke.

Jason: Do it, Duke. Say fuck.

Jason: Croissants: dropped

Dick: Road: works ahead

Duke: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Stephanie: Shavacado: fre

Tim: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Damian:

Damian: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Bruce : I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Selena: What- how?

Bruce : You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

(Y/n): *making dinner*

Edward: *walks into kitchen*

(Y/n): Oh hey! Would you mind handing me the uh...

(Y/n): I forget what it's called....

(Y/n): .. Albino broccoli..?

Edward: ......

Edward: You mean the cauliflower?

Nightwing x Reader: Incorrect Quotes 1

Nightwing: I usually enjoy going out on patrol, but... tonight sucks. It's been four hours and still no progress!

Y/N: I've never heard someone complain about a lack of crime... *eats a Taki*

Nightwing: *chewing* But this is Gotham!

Y/N: *munching loudly*

Nightwing: .....

Y/N: .....

Nightwing: Can you please stop chewing with your mouth open?

Y/N: At least I don't talk with my mouth open!

Nightwing: ......

Y/N: wait.....

Y/N: I meant chew-

Nightwing: Don't....

Nightwing: Don't ruin this perfect moment....

Jason is still me

Jason: I can’t go, I’ve used up all of my energy for today

Roy: We literally just woke up???

Roy: All you did was say good morning

Jason: Unbelievable! That’s the thanks I get for participating in human interaction

Jason: Alright baby bro it's time for bed [throws 3 y.o Damian over his shoulder to the bed but in slow motion while making sounds like a plane is crashing]

Damian: [giggling]

Jason: [stops mid-throw] Wait wait, just to be safe [pulls out a toy grenade from his pocket] incase if there's any monsters down there [throws the grenade under the bed]

Tim: AAAAAHH WHAT THE FU- [frantically trying to crawl out]

Damian: [shrieks happly]

Tim starts spreasing a rumor that every Robin is the same person, they just work like Doctor Who.

Even better: no one was ever told otherwise so everyone just assumed they were the same person and the kids lean into it

Bruce: This is my sidekick, Robin.

8-year-old Dick: Nice to meet you, Mr. Superman!

Clark: Nice to meet you too, Robin.

———————

12-year-old Jason: 'Sup.

Oliver: Robin, you look... different.

Jason: What's that supposed to mean?

Oliver: Nothing. I mean, different is good, right?

———————

14-year-old Tim: I'm here! Sorry I'm late.

Barry: Wait, I thought Robin died.

Tim: I got better.

Barry: I see.

Barry: The pants are a nice touch.

———————

Damian: I have arrived. You may now grovel in my presence.

Arthur: Alright, this one MUST be a different child.

Damian: What are you talking about?

Arthur: You are six inches shorter than last month.

Damian: Perhaps you got taller.

Arthur: That... actually makes me feel better. Thank you.

———————

Steph: *walks in*

Hal: Someone tell me what the hell's going on.

Steph: I transitioned.

Jason: I learned some very valuable lessons from this

Y/n: Let me guess they’re all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away

Jason: Death isn’t real and I’m a god

———————-

Store worker: Would a Y/n y/l/n please come to the front desk?

Y/n arriving at the front desk: Hello, what’s the problem?

Store worker, points to Jason and Roy: I believe they belong to you?

Jason and Roy simultaneously: We got lost

Y/n: I didn’t even bring you guys with me

————————

Y/n: I want to wake up with you everyday for the rest of our lives

Jason: I normally wake up at 4:30

Y/n: ...

Y/n/ I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

Jason, talking to Roy unaware that Y/n’s in the apartment as well: Hello fellow idiot

Y/n: Hey Jay

Jason: No, no, not you, you’re not an idiot

Y/n: You underestimate me

—————

Jason: Okay I get it. You’ve had a hard time lately, you’re stressed, seven people died-

Y/n: Twelve actually

Jason: Not the point. Look they’re dead now and really whose fault was that?

Y/n: Ours!

Jason: That’s right: no one’s

—————————

Roy: Truth or dare

Y/n: Dare

Roy: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in this room

Y/n: Hey Jay

Jason blushing furiously: Yeah?

Y/n: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Kori

Y/n: Someone’s trying to break in! Call the cops

Jason: (loads shotgun) I got this

Y/n: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean-

—————

Wally: What colour is a mirror?

Y/n: Here’s a better question. What are you doing in my room?

—————

Y/n: What goes up but never comes down?

Bruce: The amount of stress you bring to this family

—————

Y/n: Last night I found out that Wally is a sleep talker

Dick: Oh really?

Y/n: “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.” Right. In. My. Ear. At 3AM

*Y/n holding their toddler*

Artemis: Oh god I can’t believe one of us has one of these

Conner: I know I still am one of these

—————

Dick: Everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to the unsuspecting public

Y/n: The whole “childhood wonder” stage just blew right past you, didn’t it?

————

Will: Are you mad?

Y/n: No

Will: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

————

Y/n: I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. Black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers.

Kaldur: Y/n, for the last time we’re at a funeral

*3 minutes later*

Tim: See, Dick I told you I wasn't gonna die. [Takes a sip of energy drink]

Tim finally having a heart attack: fuck

Tim: *dies*

Damian, pulling out a knife to harvest Tim's organs Dwight Shrute style: Better not let these go to waste.

Dick hyperventilating while staring at the cookies: WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE COOKIES MADE OF????

Damian, reading his fortune cookie: "You will commit a crime in three minutes."

Tim: That's pretty direct, right?

Damian, to Dick: What does yours say?

Dick: Mine says, "You will witness a crime in three minutes."

Damian: Drake, what does yours say?

Tim: "You will die in three minutes."