Idk I Like It - Tumblr Posts

Disgusted

It crawls into my mind

takes root

A parasite I cannot remove

Cannot shake out

It stays,

It stays and festers

and grows

until it denies me myself

My independence

is no more

It is always with me,

Invisible, unkind, clenching

my heart until I burst

I stitch it back up

But the cycle continues

Hopeless? Harmless?

Everything is mud

My thoughts aren't dirt

but I couldn't tell

the sediment is all the same

The Earth keeps moving,

I don't move.

I'm sorry.

I felt alone

I was confused

Nothing was right

no one was there

we were all playing a game

why did it seem like everyone was against me?

Not You.

You weren't.

Sometimes it felt like you weren't playing at all

I always assumed

It was my fault

that I lost

even if they were cheating

it's always I'm sorry

cause obviously

that means I wasn't good enough

Players would throw their dice,

sometimes at eachother,

I was always willing to lose,

just for some silence.