I Cause My Own Heartache - Tumblr Posts

The thing with having had mental illnesses and suicidal thoughts as a teen is that nothing feels permanent or real and in turn you never emotionally bond with something. Then, as you grow older - which you never thought you would - you are nearly incabable of forming lasting relationships. You cannot be bothered to put in the effort because "it won't last" and eventually you isolate yourself and push people away. Ending up lonely and hating people for leaving but hating yourself even more for pushing them away.