Hidden Feelings - Tumblr Posts

I love you, sorry?

Title: I love you, sorry? (Dean x reader)

Imagine: imagine telling Dean that you have another date but he’s in love with you.

Imagine:imagine telling Dean you love him in the middle of a fight.

Warnings: cussing. 

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You walk out of the motel bathroom with a short sleeved, knee length black dress. Dean and Sam both look at you with astonishment on their faces. “So? What’s the special occasion?”, Sam asks looking back down at his laptop on the small table by the motel door. “ I have another date?”, they both look up at you again. “Another one? I thought you were done since the last one was horrible”, Dean looks into your eyes with disappointment apparent on his face. You look down, “well, I met this guy when I went to the library, I’m almost 100% sure he won’t ditch me this time. He’s a nice guy”. Dean shakes his head and looks down at his beer, “he’s probably a creep”. You shake your head and grab your bag,“bye, Dean. Bye, Sam”. You walk out the door feeling eyes all the way out.

You meet the guy at the little diner and you both start talking about work, “umm…. I am a professional hunter. I know it’s a weird thing to do as a job, I work to make sure animal populations stay average, ya know?” You say hesitantly. “Oh, that’s interesting?” He says shaking his head. Changing the subject you try to make the conversation about him,“so how about you, what do you do?”. You feel a buzzing in your bag, and a ringing comes straight after it. “Sorry I need to get this”. You grab your phone and walk over to the hallway near the bathrooms, “hello?”. You hear panting and grunting, “(y/n), you need to come back now”. “Dean? What’s going on why do I need to go?”, you hear a voice and someone yells. “Just get your ass back here now”, you shake your head and look back at your date who waved at you. You wave back smiling at him,“I can’t just leave him”. “Well your going to have to because we need you here, demons came for us. And there are most likely some coming for you”, Dean explains to you. By those words you walked back to your date to explain, you look out the front window and see two guys walking in to the diner looking around. You turn around and walk to the bathroom, you jump out of the window and throw off your shoes to run.

You get back to the motel and run inside ready for a fight, if you have to. You look around and see the place ransacked. Dean is sitting on the bathroom counter getting his arm stitched up by Sam. There’s blood and he has a bottle of whiskey, “hey are you guys ok?”. You walk over and see if you can help at all,“yeah, we’re fine.”, Dean says rudely. “Ok good.”,You say ignoring his tone. After Dean is stitched up they grab their stuff, “we are going out, we need to fight those guys”. “You just got fixed, dean. You shouldn’t be going out for a fight.”, you say arguing with them before they make it out the door. Dean rolls his eyes and looks out the door waiting for Sam,“well, you can come with us and help cover Dean then”. Making an agreement you grab your gun and knife and head to the impala with them, still in your dress carrying your boots.“do we even know where they are?”, you ask from the back seat. Sam looks at Dean and gives a dirty look at his silent brother, he looks at you and explains,“well kind of, Dean thinks they went back to where ever their leader is. Most likely back to hell, but he wants to make sure”.

Half and hour later you show up at an old warehouse,“why is it always a ware house?”, Dean says annoyed as you all get out of the car. You all walk up and open the doors cautiously Sam starts talking to you and Dean,“ok let’s split up, (y/n), you and Dean go that way and check those rooms. You can cover Dean if things get heavy. I’ll go this way, whistle if you find something”. You all split up and walk separate ways, after a while of finding nothing you start to talk to Dean to ease the anxiety and awkwardness in the air. “Dean? Why won’t you talk to me?”, he rolls his eyes and keeps walking. Finally he answers you,“I never said I was”. You scoff, “exactly, you never said anything. I know what it’s like when you ignore people, Dean”. He keeps up the silence and walks into the next room.

After you checked all the rooms you wait in a huge empty room waiting for Sam to get finished. “Dean? Just talk to me, what’s going on with you?”, you say trying to figure out his ridiculous behavior. Something in him clicked and he got very angry, “what’s going on with me? Me?.(y/n)! What’s going on with you!? Going on dates almost every night. I don’t know if you realized this yet but we are hunters, we don’t get that kind of lifestyle (y/n)!”. You yell back at him startling him for a second,“Dean, you don’t think I know that? I’ve known that since I was 9 years old. What about your sluts from the bar? Huh?!”. He shakes his head smirking for a second, licking his lips and then he continues,“my sluts? At least I’m not planning on having a life with them , they are gone the next day and I never have to worry about them getting hurt”. You can feel your blood start to boil deep down in your veins . it hurts you but you yell at him once more,“why are you so angry at me for going on one stupid date, Dean?!! I know I can’t have a life with anyone, but at least I actually try to have a relationship before leaving them. At least I don’t let girls stay around long enough to make them fall for me and then break their heart by bringing other girls around!!”. Deans eyes open in shock and then a questioning look appears on his beautiful face, “what are you saying (y/n)?”. Still in an angry blur the words slip from your mouth, “I love you, Dean. God dammit! I love the way you sing along to your favorite songs, even though it’s out of key! I love that you still wear that necklace that your little brother got you that Christmas after we met. I love the way you laugh at your own jokes when no one else does. Dean, I love everything about you no matter how much I hate myself for it. No matter how hard I tried to get rid of these feelings…….”.

Still arguing with your feelings, you feel a body interrupt your rant. He presses himself against you and holds you tight. After a silent wait you finally speak in almost a whisper, “Dean?…..you don’t know how much it hurt… To watch you flirt with girls and bring them back to hotel… All the times me and Sam had to wait for…”, you feel a cold stream fall down your face as a lump of emotions fills in your throat preventing you from speaking any further. Before you can go on you are interrupted my his deep rough voice, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry (y/n)”. He pauses and then leans back to wipe the tear falling down your cheek. In a soft voice he looks you in the eye sincerely, “do you know how long I’ve wished you would say that”. He gets closer to your face, “ever since we were kids (y/n) I’ve loved you. And when everything happened to your family I wanted to be there but my dad took you to his friends and I thought we would never see each other again. Until I found you again those few months ago, I love you. I’ve loved you”. You put your arms around his neck and pull him to you, you nestle your head in his chest and he holds your head.

After a few minutes he breaks the silence, "we should probably go find Sam and get back to the motel, your still in a dress and it’s getting cold”. You look down just now realizing the chill on your legs, “probably”. Together you go and find Sam who’s waiting for you two by the door of the warehouse. “Took you long enough, what were you doing in there?”, he laughs and turns to walk out of the cold dark building.

Your heart must be so heavy carrying around all those hidden feelings & unspoken words.

I know because I do it too.

You make my World Freeze 💙✨💫🫂

Chapter 1 | Mr. & Mrs. Tastebuds

When one of your names is said in conversation, a beaming smile is sure to follow on each of your faces...

You and Han Jisung are best friends, soulmates, the literal Ying to each other's Yang.

But could you be more than that.....

Synopsis: Sarice had moved to Korea to continue to pursue an education at one of the best Universities there. Like any other day, she walks into the local cafe to get her regular "unique" order. When it turns out, it's not just unique to you, but to The 4th Gen Ace himself, Han Jisung; who just so happened to be standing next to her taking his order at the same time as you. From there a friendship bloomed, but other feelings trickled in that may put a thorn in her relationship with him.

Sarice and Han Jisung

When one of their names are said by the other, or by someone else in conversation, a smile that beams brighter than actual light itself appears on each of their faces.

~~

I had moved to Korea years ago to start university and begin pursuing an education in Korean History and language. Growing up in a place like NYC, discovering new cultures was a norm. But my love for learning and my naturally inquistive nature led me to being fascinated with details about any culture, and what made it unique.

So I decided after gaining a degree in Anthropology, it was time to go global. And Korea was number 1 on my list.

Now, I have been a fan of K Pop since 2NE1. CL stole my heart and I wouldn't even attempt to try to get it back from her. Then there was Shinee, Big Bang, Girls Generation, 4 Minute...... the list goes on!

As of today, my Ult Groups are Stray Kids, BTS, Ateez, and Seventeen. I found each of these groups in times in my life where I truly felt it was destiny for me to find them when I did. And for that reason, they all hold special places in my heart.

~~

It was almost the end of my first year in uni. I was honestly expecting myself to struggle a lot, but I managed to pass my classes enough to keep my A- average!

I had gotten an earlier than usual start to my day to make sure I had a bit of extra time to just sit and chill at my new found favorite cafe. It's also conveniently a block away from campus, so it's a win win for me.

I walk inside the cafe and get hit with lavender, cinnamon, and ground coffee in my nostrils. I never get tired of feeling like I'm stepping into a quaint cottage with those scents in the air. Brick walls, stained cedar wood tile floors with matching tables and chairs, and an endless rotation of tropical plants. The cafe screams comfort corner, and it's why it's become my favorite.

I make my way to the cashier and am greeted by Lisa, who always somehow manages to be the one to be at the register when I come in the cafe and place my order. But I ain't complaining, cause I swear she put's magic in the Hazelnut Cold Brews when I order them. She's around my height (5'10"), an asymmetrical bob cut with a shego green color dye, and a slim built. She has a sweet and genuine smile, cause she really loves her job and it shows.

As if by a freak accident, as I'm telling my order to Lisa, a deep but soft voice says word for word my exact same order. It legit took me a moment to realize that my voice wasn't doubled but that there was someone next to me placing their order at the same time I was.

I stare bug eyed at Lisa and I was legit frozen. My social cues went out the window as my anxiety started kicking in. Lisa flashed a reassuring smile and gently motioned her head to the side, signaling for me to turn and look at whoever it was next to me. I took a shuddered deep breathe, and slowly turned to the left to get a look at who apparently, has the same taste in food as me. It was a man. Chocolate brown frays of hair were peeking out from under a black beanie. Black/Brown boba eyes that shined like the reflection of light off a creek in spring time. Cheeks that just made me want to pinch them, they were round and looked so soft (I didn't by the way, even though I REALLY wanted to). He wore an oversized, baggy, black distressed shirt, paired with baggy, flared bottom jeans, and chunky platform converse. My eyes made their way back up to his face, and I realized who I was standing in front of.

Han FUCKING Jisung!

1/3 of 3racha, the production, rapline and Ace of Stray Kids.

I was internally screaming!!

I didn't realize how zoned out I was until a small, deep toned chuckle left his lips.

"I-I I'm sorry. I-I just didn't t-think someone would have the same taste in coffee as me." I somehow manage to get those words out my lips, and I'm mentally slapping myself on the forehead for my stupid stuttering. My eyes went straight to the floor that I wish would just swallow me up at this point.

"Well......" He says with a pause. My head shoots up to see him looking at me with the warmest smile. "That just means we have superior taste buds." He had such a reassuring look in his eyes, that it melted away any bit of embarrasment that was settling in my body. With that, a small smile appears on my face.

"Well Mr. Superior Taste Buds......" I reach my hand over to grab my order from off the counter, that was actually sitting there ready for a few minutes already. "I have a bit of time to spare and would love to hear your take on food, care to join me?" My smile widens and I give him a wink. I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK THE WINK CAME FROM, BUT A BITCH WAS BEING BOLD THAT DAY.

His eyebrows shoot up and his eyes slightly widen at my sudden showing of boldness. He was quite impressed and deep down inside thankful that she made the first move, cause his heart was RACING.

A small smirk comes across his face. Keeping eye contact with me, he reaches his hand out to pick up his order from the counter. "That would be nice, Mrs. Superior Taste Buds." He winks back at me and puts his hand out for me to grab it.

AXZVXBHEJHOESHVKJSGHR

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MRS.?!?!???!?!

With no hesitation, my hand finds it's way to his. As our palms touch, a warmth surged through my body and my cheeks felt hot. Now me being a black woman, I don't usually have a visible blush.

BUT BABY............ THIS MAN HAD ME MELTING

His thumb gently rubbed over my fingers and knuckles. "I'll take you to my favorite table to sit at." He turns towards the back of the cafe leading the way. I turn my head to quickly steal a look at Lisa who was SHOOK at what just happened in front of her eyes. "WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS TOMORROW" she silently mouths to me, and I give her a quick thumbs up, turning my head and my attention back to Han.

~~

From that day at the cafe to 3 years later. I'm in my last year at university and best friends with Han Jisung.

Life has been nothing short of amazing, especially with gaining 7 brothers, aka the other members of Stray Kids. If I'm not hanging out with Han, I'm on facetime with Channie as he's in the studio and I'm studying, spamming Lee Know with Cat memes, roasting red carpet celebrity looks with I.N, having a personalized gym routine made by Changbin and having him occasionally join me in working out, trading obscure recipes with Felix and trying them out together, dance practice video calls with Hyunjin, and Seungmin volunteering himself to be my tutor while he tells me random Korean history facts. Needless to say, these boys have added so much to my life. But with that, there's a burden I've been carrying the whole time.

Han being an idol has its challenges, but we've created a system that still allows us to have quality time with each other. Today is one of the days where I get to chill with him in the studio. What he doesn't know is that I've surprised him with his favorite, his go to order from the cafe that we met at, along with a slice of chocolate cheesecake.

I make my way into the JYP building and greet the different staff members I bump into on the way to the floor the studio he's in is on. I finally make it to the elevator and immediately slump against the wall, a groan of a held in sigh leaves my mouth.

I've been in love with Han Jisung since we met in that damn cafe. It's grown into an overflowing bucket that always tries to make itself known when I'm around him, but I put a lid on it.

I really did try not to fall in love as quickly as I did but..... can you blame me?!?!?!

He laughs with his whole body but makes sure to land gentle touches on me when I'm sitting next to him during one of his laughing fits.

His eyes put fairy lights to shame, when he talks about anything he's passionate about. And it's always followed by deep conversations that I adore.

And he just always knows how I'm feeling; He's fucking psychic I swear!

He knows when to hold my hand, caress my cheek and brush strands of hair out of my face.

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HIS HUGS!

Time stops whenever I'm in his arms. He's my safe place.

On nights like tonight, I usually just sit in silence in the background working on assignments, while he's working on a song. Being in silence together is probably one of my favorite things I do with him. But tonight, if there is silence after my plan of pouring out my heart to him..... then I hope to God the earth actually swallows me whole this time.

~~

Hey Guys!

This is my first time writing a story like this, and I'm honestly proud of myself for taking a step into trying something new for myself.

This story was inspired by a Character AI chat I actually have for Han, lol

I accept constructive criticism but rudeness will not be tolerated!

I hope you all enjoyed the story!

TAGLIST:

@adestayskz

@semi-semiisbae

@guqsnfics