Hellsite - Tumblr Posts
What. Do. You. Mean.
A journal app for when you need to process this hellsite. Try Day One, or Pikaman will haunt you in your sleep.
Once again, Apollo has thrown his gift of prophecy onto an unsuspecting hellsite user
When Tumblr goes premium let’s all use one account like netflix
History!
It occurs to me that there are people who weren’t on this website in 2012 and therefore never saw the magical gif that you can actually hear:
It’s been over five years and that still impresses the hell out of me.
the r/curatedtumblr -> tumblr migration is so funny to me. it's like going to the zoo and enjoying it so much you climb into the enclosure to live with the monkeys
my comic is out on webtoon canvas!
my link tree!
Why is it on Tumblr Mobile™ you can close the app and open it 3 days later and still be on the same spot of your dash, but then other times you switch out of the app to respond to a text, and when you immediately come back, it’s gone, your family is gone, your house is gone, your dignity is gone.
You will not be seeing the gates of heaven and neither will I
No, Mr. Horse, don’t worry, I certainly don’t have a Plinko down here! What I do have is this lovely cask of wine, specifically for horses, Amontillado in fact! Exquisite vintage.
I know you’re not supposed to be in this hospital, but if you’ll just follow me down this corridor—no, that’s not blood on the floor, it’s color theory, I’ll explain it later—I can bring you to this cask of wine that is certainly NOT a plinko machine—
Why the fuck are you only showing me the same 10 posts on my following page tumblr WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GET A GRIP
You know maybe if a bot has a cool enough name it deserves to follow me
if the boops taught me anything it's that this site is 100% more fun when I interact with people, and the risk factor is actually way lower than I thought it was. I wasn't on here before tumblr culture died but so fucking help me I will make sure it is revived in my secluded corner of the internet
THE HOLY POST
me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit
mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
I’m sure all you Tumblr users have heard by now about the changes being made to Tumblr’s ecosystem so that the site can make more money. And I’m sure most of you are as uneasy as I am or, in fact, are angry about the proposed changes.
The reason they need to make more money is simple: Tumblr is $30 million USD in debt.
For this site to run and for them to pay employees, the site needs to generate revenue.
This place maybe a hellsite but it’s our hellsite. We are still here because we actually like it here. Besides, the other social media sites are crashing or will crash soon. Where else would we go?
Now, I did some research. There are at least 300 million users and over 500 million blogs. One of the cheapest things to buy on the Tumblr store is the crab package you can gift to another blog, which is $3 USD.
If each and everyone of us buys a crab package, we get to keep Tumblr alive and kicking. @oracleoutlook suggested that we make a holiday of it on July 29th. It seems to have resonated with people. Others have also asked for that to extend to August 5th, as some people don’t get paid til the beginning of the month.
Many people have already agreed to celebrate July 29th as Crab Day, a day of posting crab memes and gifting crabs to other users. And if you cannot afford to buy crabs, that is a-okay! Participate in the crab memes. Who would pass up the chance to make and reblog memes about crabs, after all?
This hellsite is ours. Let us remind them of that.
opening tumblr now like:
me: so how many bots have unfollowed me today
There are two types of hellsite: Affectionate and derogatory. Tumblr is an affectionate hellsite while DeviantArt is a derogatory hellsite. No, I don't take criticism.
Every time I open this godforsaken site I mentally say
"Alright! Gonna take a tumble!"
is this a widely spread phenomenon or should I trademark it?
I've got no idea what I'm doing.
I have been on this app for a full half an hour and as of now, I have already felt the pain of a lost draft. My (very limited) time here also has enlightened me to a few things:
1. This is a hellsite (affectionate?)
2. I MUST reblog or I will rot in deepest pits of hell.
3. Twitter migration. (No, I didn't have a Twitter acc. Yes, I live under a rock but at least it's peaceful sorry not sorry)
4. Destiel is some ship that's canon apparently?? But what does that have to do with Putin tho...
5. This site for some unfathomable reason does not specify dates of the posts !?! So you don't know if the thing you're seeing is from yesterday or a year ago. Noice~
6. Tags are supposedly important but they don't make sense to me yet so I'm just gonna spam them or smth.
7. You guys don't realise but you use way too much tumblr lingo for a "guide post". Like wtf is "asks" now.
8. Tumblr blaze rocks. Idk even what it is yet but it does. It really does. I can tell already.
That's it for today. My battery's about to die.