Headcanons ; Kami - Tumblr Posts

How did kami feel about having anemo abilities at first?,or a vision even ?,was it strange or upsetting?,was he conflicted?

The short answer: yes, he was conflicted.

Since Kami was 'born' with electro being an innate/dormant power within him. That's always been an untapped (and sometimes tapped) power at his fingertips, and he really only used electro during his time in the fatui.

It's not a power Kami liked relying on, especially since it was such a heavy reminder of his creation and being discarded for simply existing. True, there was the gnosis, and I'd like to think part of the reason Kami clung so tightly to that WAS because of Ei. Because it was the only physical thing he had of her, and not just because it was his source of power. Yes, it was power, but it was added power that definitely came from Ei, and he wanted to ascend to godhood and change things for himself. Electro was a huge part of that identity and it was quite literally ripped from him.

Regardless of going through Irminsul or not, Wanderer in general was still created with electro being a dormant ability. Kami never went through Irminsul, so he's still got those traces at his fingertips, and he recalls vividly the sense of power he had with electro. He remembers the sickening joy he felt when using it against others. So to him Anemo feels a lot more gentle, definitely a soft breeze compared to the sparking anger.

He's conflicted because while anemo is still a very powerful element, it's a completely different vibe than what he was used to. He's still learning HOW to use anemo and what the limitations are. And because of his strength from of the Shouki no Kami, Kaminari is learning he can push the limits of what his vision grants him and probably even beyond. It still doesn't feel like electro, because with the electro being a gift from an archon, Kami was already powerful to begin with, and becoming the Shouki no Kami only added to that.

He's warming up to the vision powers, though the vision itself is a source of pride, it's the one material object he'd defend with everything he is. He would rather give up his life/immortality if it meant he could keep what he sees as a heart at this point.

But he was very confused when he first received the vision. It was a different set of powers and abilities, and it didn't readily allow for him to immediately vaporize anyone. Though that was probably the whole reason the gods gave it to him. Kami took it as a "don't kill people anymore" type of message and struggled with it for a few days. Because he really wants to improve and be a better person, and since he refuses to use his electro anymore, he's thrown himself wholeheartedly into figuring out what he CAN do.

And the answer is a fuck ton. Because I don't want him to be strictly bound by the game mechanics, so Kami can manipulate the very air around him and weaponize it, he can also summon a gentle breeze if the climate is too much, and of course, he can fly indefinately without draining energy.

Because unlike mortals and humans, he doesn't need human type breaks. Whereas other humans might need to stop and rest after using their elemental abilities, Kami does not need the same such rest.

But TL;DR, conflicted at first, but a welcome change. Still has electro as a dormant power, misses the feeling of being able to murderize and vaporize people, but likes that he can use anemo and still be powerful.

i was talking to avalon the other day about this, but i have thoughts i'd like to share with the dash.

basically, i don't really like modern/current depictions of wanderer with ball joints. he's supposed to look indistinguishable from any other human, as it's canonically not known that he's a puppet. if i remember correctly, only nahida, traveler and paimon actually know he's a puppet. he doesn't have ball joints.

whereas in the past, as kabukimono, he was known as a puppet, they referred to him as one and considered him human anyway. he did show signs back then, but those joints faded over time.

my portrayal as zero ball joints and zero indication that he's nonhuman. he looks like an early 20s young man and probably to the rest of the world, acts like it too.

i'm sure a few people who are able to become closer to him will learn the truth, but it's not public knowledge, and he doesn't have ball joints on his limbs.

kami is not dumb enough to think he's smarter than ren or that he knows more. they're both incredibly similar, having gone through a lot of the same ordeals and trauma. their lives DID veer off though, where ren went through irminsul and erased himself, and kami did not. HOWEVER, their emotions, no matter the outcome are still similar in that they both share a huge lack of trust in people and a huge dislike for their past.

though, kami still feels inclined to protect ren!! not because he's older (what's ~100 years in the grand scheme of life?), and not because he chose a more difficult road, but because he knows that suffering alone isn't worth it. he can't tell ren what to do or how to act because KAMI himself doesn't know! they're both just floundering through their shitty existence with the shitty hand they were dealt, but the difference is kami can support ren.

that's his brother! ren is his family!!!

kami also doesn't want to go back to his own world quite yet. he COULD at any time. he knows that if he were to go back to irminsul and be like "take me home", he could go back and face life a little bit stronger and a little bit wiser. but kami is also stupidly selfish and isn't ready to leave behind the one person who understands most what he's going through. it's not some heightened understanding, but kami can bullshit as well as the next person. he spent time in the fatui too, he lived as a harbinger, he knows things, he's done things. he likes to pretend to impart little nuggets of wisdom, and ren seems to humor him well enough. (or maybe kami actually does know what he's talking about sometimes, and it helps that it honestly seems to benefit ren.)

but that's why he's here with ren! they might not NEED each other. more specifically, ren might not need kami, but that support system, especially with someone who can empathize, is a whole lot better than going through it alone. plus, who needs therapy when you can be murder twins together? that's the best kind of therapy!

l;sjksdl;fk i just think so much about these two. i think so much about how much kami actually loves ren and would do anything for him. he can offer his own wisdom with his own thoughts and life experience and hope it gives ren some perspective, and he can also be an obnoxious prick to give ren something else to think about and do instead of falling into a depressed stupor over things neither of them can control. as long as they're together, kami DOESN'T have to worry about either of them getting hurt. he can see that ren is slowly getting happier, and surviving well enough. eventually kami might have to leave and go back home, but for now, he's not going to worry about that.

because he still wants to help, he still NEEDS to help. he needs to be certain 100% that ren doesn't need him anymore. but as long as ren continues to trust him and even want to return the favor, kami is going to take that as permission to stay put and continue to protect ren the only way he knows how: by sheer anemo kick ass power.

they're brothers, your honor.

HEADCANON : KAMINARI'S HAT

this is a thought that occurred to me earlier today as i was writing a reply, and after thinking about it some more, i realized i probably have a whole headcanon about what exactly the hat means to him.

it's not just a decorative piece of clothing to tie in his outfit together. while the hat itself doesn't really do much (ignoring that his hat is probably imbued with some magical ability to help him fly), it does provide kami some protection from the world as a whole.

the hat is big enough to hide his face if he tips his head down enough. and it can cast a shadow around his whole being. so to kami, the hat is probably a protection from everything and everyone around him. he can hide himself underneath it, he can hide his face and facial expressions, and he can maintain a level of neutrality with just voice alone, because underneath his hat, he doesn't have to 'wear a mask' so to speak.

and even on a more subconscious/deeper level, the hat provides some measure of safety too. since he's not exposed to the world, he can retreat underneath it and feel invisible. safe. without it, kami feels vulnerable and exposed, and it's not exactly the most pleasant thing to be perceived and presumably judged by everyone.

he knows he fucked up in the past, and he's trying to still make amends. kami's trying his best while still having all these walls up and protecting himself from the world that had hurt him for so long. the hat just happens to offer a level of physical shielding that he likes to hide behind for his own mental well being.

he's just a little guy who doesn't want to be perceived and hurt again. until he recovers, he'll keep his hat. there's no telling how long recovery will take, if it even happens at all though.

i have wanderer character analysis under the cut. please watch this trailer for reference!

so we have this angle in the beginning of the trailer. i really like the mood around them, with the storm signifying the trouble that's about to come. either representing him bringing the trouble, or the fatui giving him trouble. but regardless, the environmental storytelling is really good!

i also really like his pose here. the bird isn't a source of irritation for him. his main irritation with the bird + wind is that it almost knocked his kasa off. but right now ultimately, he's nonbothered.

but then you have this. his head is angled, and even without eyes showing, you can see that he's more annoyed over having his path blocked than being harassed. the stance is a very clear "you're annoying me, move" type of stance. and the way he just goes "two big strong fatui, asking me to be their chaperone. is this some kind of joke?"

because now we can see his whole face. he hasn't lifted a hand to either of them yet. he hasn't done anything except glare. which means he's not going to act unless directly threatened. which is, interestingly enough, what happens next!

a bullet is fired at wanderer here. because the two fatui aren't actually interested in a guide, they're lookign to pick a fight, and they think wanderer is an easy target. but here we have his first display of strength: he effortlessly uses the agent's weapon to block the bullet. and i'm pretty sure that expression is more resignation than actual anger or irritation. more like "ugh, i have to waste energy on these guys?"

and when we see this in the next scene, this is really interesting to me. i don't know if the light reflected in his eyes is from an outside source (the flash from the gun, him activating his anemo powers), or if it's internal. Because the way his eyes are glowing are purple. my thoughts on this are that there's still some traces of his former self in there, OR MAYBE it's a result of him being ei's creation. she's the electro archon, and electro, at least mainly, is colored purple for convenience sake. part of me thinks that the god he aspired to be never fully died when he was reincarnation, and maybe he relied on electro for too long for it also to be completely erased. he's essentially two people in one body, both halves learning to come to terms with each other. i just thought this shot was really interesting, because it's clearly the harbinger we're expected to see, and not the wanderer.

this is the second display of strength. because while yes, wanderer is using his anemo here, he's barely touching the weapon to keep it at bay. this tells me his anemo is just as strong as he is. and i wonder what exactly is giving him that strength. is it being a puppet? or is it the previous incarnation of his god self coming into play here? or is the anemo enhancing what strength he already has? because this shot has me wondering just exactly how strong wanderer is. he's barely using any force behind this defensive move, while the agents are putting their all into it.

i mostly liked this shot for the jab to the throat before he was grabbed by the throat. power move, wanderer.

the next display of strength. this is my favorite part and the whole reason i wanted to analyze the trailer. because it took zero effort for wanderer to grab him by the throat and yoink him high into the air. he's using only one hand to not only hold the guy up, but hold him higher than his own height. his own body is very still and even relaxed, i'd argue, while the fatuus is clawing at wanderer's arm and shaking.

there's no doubt that the fatuus is strong, considering he was using a hammer as a weapon, but the difference is astounding. because it doesn't even look like wanderer is using his full strength. he's still very unbothered by the whole thing. still doesn't care enough.

and then you get this shot where his eyes glow a very vivid blue. i don't know if this is just a trailer visual for the audience to see him using his vortext ult, or if it's in game. but if it is in game, i find it very interesting to note, because to me it means he's fully embracing his new lease in life, embracing the anemo that he was given. personally i'd like to think it's an inverse/canon bit, to demonstrate how powerful his anemo really is.

but also interestingly enough, in the following shots, we get this quick frame:

it's really hard to tell what color his eyes are glowing, but i'm going off of context clues and saying his eyes are shining purple again. the glitching, the black and white with traces of purple? to me that screams balladeer/scaramouche. so he HASN'T left behind that side of him. this, to me, says he's embracing both sides of that personality within him and melding them into one. he's still the ruthless balladeer he spent ages of his life being, and he's also the innocent wanderer that worked at a fruit stand. this series of glitchy frames ALSO tells me that he's weighing his options and deciding on the right course of action. should he be the balladeer and kill the fatui? or should he be the wanderer and leave well enough alone?

cause through this all, he was acting in self defense.

this is the sternest he's looked through the entire trailer. the crossed arms and the mini lecture of "you were looking for trouble and got what you asked for."

this is both scaramouche and wanderer speaking. he didn't hurt them too badly, he just gave them a lesson the fatui are unlikely to forget anytime soon. and even in this image he doesn't look entirely that mad, either. annoyed, yes. but it also vaguely looks like he's still smiling.

because through the entire fight, wanderer was laughing. he was laughing, because this was a game to him. a chance for him to test out his abilities on people. the fatui got a fight, and he got to show them why that was wrong. of COURSE he'd laugh.

which is probably why he left them alive at the end and continued on his way. because he didn't need to murder to prove a point, he'd already made it the second they started antagonizing him. wanderer knows he's strong and can outlast anyone in a fight. he barely has to lift a finger in order to make some devastating blows to his enemies. if wanderer wanted to obliterate someone, he would do it easily.

but i also wonder where that strength comes from. does it come from being a puppet, from having an anemo vision, or does the blood of that mecha-god still pump through his veins even after erasing himself? regardless, he's still very clearly one of the strongest characters.

also i'd like to point out real quick, that i feel like his fight with cyno in the recent darshan championship was a callback to this. because back then, wanderer didn't care enough to take a fight seriously, and with cyno he was clearly holding back and not taking it seriously. probably out of a need to not actually kill his opponents, especially since they weren't enemies to begin with.

What’s one random headcanon about your muse that people mightn’t know? (for both Chongyun and Kami)

for chongyun

i wouldn't say it's not well known, but it doesn't get the attention i WANT it to get. but chongyun has an earring! i really liked drummer!chongyun aesthetic, especially the tassel earring he's got. so, i took that earring and applied it to any verse i shove chongyun into. he has an earring, and i also headcanon that when he and xingqiu traded tassels, they also made sure both tassels were earrings.

chongyun also, blog canonically, has hair long enough to pull into a ponytail. it's not a super long one, but it's long enough that there's enough hair to pull back and keep out of his face! (he also has mini fangs because i said so.)

for kaminari

kami is a HUGE reader. he loves getting lost in a good book. but even further than that, if kami favors a person well enough, and they have a favorite book, his love language is taking that book and getting it rebound to something far more extravagent and beautiful. he probably did that for cyno and cyno's 'king of invocations' book, at least the first one.

kami doesn't show very many ways in which he does care, still having several walls up. but there ARE little ways in which he's like "you mean something to me, have a special edition book."

have a really funny headcanon that I have to share concerning arlecchino's ceremony.

my man scaramouche did NOT want to be here. he was probably forced to show up in uniform, minus the hat for respect. (maybe also a little bit of curiosity, wanting to see who the new knave was.) my guess is pierro threatened him, and scaramouche showed up, dressed as disrespectfully as he could get away with. mans was READY to vanish the second he could. he has things to do and people to monologue to, he doesn't have time to entertain his cohorts.

talking to a friend about wanderer and i'll say this again but

wanderer does not historically do well with parental figures. nahida is a firm hand to keep him in check/under control, and not his mother. he would rather punt himself into the sun than call her mom, lmao

I had a talk with Impy the other night about how Kaminari is canon divergent, and how his not going through Irminsul can impact a lot of things, including his own mental health. In this essay I will-

Scara did not originally want to stay. When he learned the truth about Tatarasuna, he had every intention of using Irminsul to try and undo the past. Right after than mental conversation with Traveler is where things diverge, basically. Because Traveler was able to stop Scaramouche from actually going through with it, which resulted in Scara having a breakdown.

He spent a few hours pacing back and forth in front of Irminsul, going back and forth between yelling in rage at Traveler, Paimon and even Nahida, cursing them out, and then thinking things through logically. Scaramouche was unraveling rapidly and nothing really made sense anymore, all he knew now was that he'd royally fucked up and had been fucked with. Coming to terms with everything like that had taken the biggest mental toll on him he'd ever faced. At the end of it, Scaramouche ended up retreating into a sort of BSOD moments, which had Traveler leading him back to the home Traveler was staying at.

Scaramouche thought over his entire life over the next day or so, reflecting on everything. His own actions, what others had put him through. While Scara was no closer to finding any answers on anything, the only thing he was aware of was that he had control over his own actions. So when he finally came out of it and back to reality, he simply asked Traveler to find him a new name.

The two went back and forth a few times before Traveler through out the name 'Kaminari', and he accepted it after a few seconds of thought. The name gave him ties to his home nation, a nation that Kami still very much loves and misses. He even agreed on taking the nickname of Kami, since it was shorter and easier to say, and nicknames seemed to please most people.

A new outfit was then commissioned. Something fashioned after Inazuma, though instead of dark reds and purples and black to represent his more 'evil' nature, Kami was given something with lighter colors to represent the new leaf he was trying to turn.

After a few days, Kami revisited Jouriri Workshop, hoping something in there would make him feel something other than numb. He ended up having another breakdown in front of Traveler, where he confessed he just wanted to help Niwa and not feel like he betrayed his memory. He asked Traveler if they thought Niwa would forgive him, and that's when Kaminari received his vision.

He attached it to his chest as carefully as possible, before clutching it and looking over. "This is his heart," Kami ended up saying. In his mind, in his eyes, this was Niwa saying he was proud of Kami for the direction he was now going.

Kami is fully aware that people are not going to react kindly to him. He is fully aware that this is going to be a neverending uphill climb, and that people are either going to hate him or be really slow to warm up to him. He's aware he might even be forgiven by some. But he's not going to dishonor those he once cared for by going back. Going through Irminsul is always going to tempt him, and some days, Kami will go stand in front of it and stare.

But he's going to push himself foward regardless, because this is the road he chose and he's going to stay on it.

i had this thought last night and i meant to post it here but i got distracted.

but basically i had the thought that kami still practices blacksmithing. more specifically, he likes creating the more decorative style weapons that one would just hang in their home. kami really enjoys intricate designs on the blades and handles/hilts of a blade, creating various patterns and even working with different metals/ores/minerals to create something truly beautiful.

it's not something kami would openly talk about or even share with anyone except maybe nahida, because there's...really no one to share this passion hobby with.

and kami will deny that it's even a hobby, instead claiming it to be a habit from better days.

at least in genshin terms, we know that puppets do not need much sleep. that's not to say it's impossible, but they can survive forever without it if they're inclined.

with pena.cony being a dreamscape, i wonder if kami can sleep enough to enter it properly. of course, there's the hassle of getting checked into a hotel first, and laying in the pool, but that aside. could he enter it?

i'm kinda leaning toward yes, he probably could. just because he's a puppet doesn't make him completely immune to needing food and rest to live. he's still a living being after all.

i don't know how often he goes to visit the dreamscape though, because getting there in the first place is a huge hassle. but he probably has his ways of hacking into the system to borrow whatever is needed for himself.

i'll have to play more to learn more about it, but sleep + kami + pen.acony = i need to think about this more.

randomly, can i just talk about how much wanderer respects nahida? she did not look at him with fear or contempt, she offered him a chance. her breaking the news to him, in his mind, was a GOOD thing, because it meant he could actually do something with the information he has now.

and in kaminari's case, BECAUSE nahida was willing to tell him the truth about niwa and store a fairtale inside irminsul, kami was able to reflect on it and come to the conclusion that no one else in recent times would have given him the time of day.

he doesn't see nahida as a mother figure or even some sort of family member. she is a guiding hand, a mentor, someone who is pushing him to be a better person without trying to change him too much. kaminari holds a ton of respect for her, and it's because of nahida that he stays in sumeru to help watch over the people there.

because sumeru is now his nation, the place he can finally, TRULY, call home. it's been more of a home and a place of healing than any other nation has been.

nahida isn't perfect, kaminari is aware. she has her faults and her slipups. she's learning too, she still has a lot of growing to complete. but just she's been patient and gentle with him, he'll be gentle and patient with her.

if kaminari HAD to swear any sort of allegiance or loyalty, he wouldn't dream of anyone else than nahida.

kami's crush on aventurine is waking back up.

talking to a couple people on discord and i was talking about kami's one sided crush on him. and HONESTLY, kami's general type is also people who are traumatized and shaken up by life in general. i explained it as like attracts like, but it's really how kaminari operates from verse to verse.

he's such a broken ball of misery that it's hard for him to get into genuine healthy relationships. aside from a very few cases, kami almost doesn't even WANT them, he doesn't want to be seen as fixable or moldable. so any crush or partner he acquires will probably also be just as broken as him.

and like i said, there are few exceptions to the rule, there are people who can win kami over and help him better himself. but in general? if he's miserable, he wants miserable company. it's a very unhealthy mindset and so so toxic. and kami even knows it, but, and it's especially apparent in h.sr!verse, that he's not comfortable with improving his situation, and he's going to be attracted to someone who is just as much of a pain as he is.

KAMINARI HEADCANON

i know technically, being a puppet, kaminari doesn't need to eat/sleep. he's created by ei, and wasn't built with the natural abilities to need food and sleep.

however, in the case of kami, since he turned out to be far more human than ei anticipated, i feel like over time, he DID develop some psychological need for both. especially during his stay with niwa/the little boy. since THEY were human, and kaminari wanted to blend in with them at the time, he allowed himself to rest and eat more often, and those habits never fully left him, even hundreds of years later.

nowadays, he doesn't TECHNICALLY need to eat, and even though he'll tell people that (like his voiceline to the traveler), kami still feels hungry and he still gets sleepy from time to time. he'll indulge based on what his personal preference is.

while it isn't as OFTEN as a standard human, kami still craves tea/craves savory foods. and at some points he will crash if he overexerts himself enough, and he can be quite the heavy sleeper. he'll sleep for a few hours, wake up and be fine for another few weeks.

it's not technically needed, but hundreds of years of trying to fit in with humans instill that need/craving all the same.

this is why i say kami thinks of nahida as his warden. yes, they have a decent relationship. yes, he's happy doing things for her if/when she requests it. but kami is FULLY AWARE that he's in sumeru to make up for past misdeeds.

he has a hard time separating genuine relationships and life in general from a give-and-take mindset. for a lot of people, he's trying to manage percieved debts and erase them little by little so he can move on and do something else. since people in sumeru keep doing favors for him, he's still there, seeing himself as a prisoner because he feels like he owes them. nahida even acknowledges this.

kaminari is still learning, slowly, how to leave that 'prisoner' mindset behind. and PART of it is him refusing to acknowledge that he genuinely cares about other people and it's okay to let them in. he's SCARED to do that, and when his emotions get overwhelming enough, he'll default back to that "i owe you for this" mindset and throw up walls so as to not let people in.

he's coming around slowly, but he'll see himself as a prisoner long after the other walls come down. because nahida did him a massive favor that he can't ever fully repay her for. she gave him a new chance, a new life, among several other little things. she gave him an actual purpose, something to do. a brand new chance at life from someone who should (in his mind) hate him -- how do you even begin repaying that?

he's so conflicted, and will forever see nahida as his warden, and he, her prisoner. it's a self imposed sentence, but it's still the relationship he'll see with her, no matter how friendly their bond is.

i wasn't sure which of my blogs to put this on, but since i initially started doing this research for albedo's part, i figure it's a safe bet for me to put here. this is relevant to my albedo, kazuha, and wanderer muses, mostly.

i watched iridori festival on youtube earlier today, and i watched the end of the sumeru storyquest, most notably, the part where traveler goes to inazuma to find out how much of the timeline changed post balladeer erasure.

and honestly, not much changed. iridori festival wasn't entirely retconned. SOME things about the past were changed, though instead of a name being given, like in the poetry, it's all been changed to be a nameless swordsmith instead. i like to think that the likeness albedo even painted is still the same as it was when originally painted, i highly doubt a whole lot was actually changed within the timeline.

irminsul didn't erase the past. niwa still died like in the og timeline. and i know at one point wanderer even says he'd like to repay his debts to the raiden gokaden. and given that irminsul just fudged stories a bit rather than completely erasing him, he can still fit within that missing slot and the gaps/plot holes will reconverge into one.

for albedo's part, i like to think he remembers SOME of those details. not enough to remember an actual name, but he'd remember hearing about kazuha's clan's history, he'd remember meeting with ayato to get more information on people breaking in. though with the 6th harbinger being a missing seat, the break in was probably still just attributed to the "revengeful swordsmith" instead of the balladeer.

like i said, details are probably smudged a bit because of irminsul, but the overarching event and lore drops still remain in tact overall, i don't think it was completely retconned.

avalon and i figured out the main differences between ren and kami, and how you can tell the twins apart if you ever run into both of the.

ren is very controlled. there's a method to his madness, he's very meticulous and plans every move down to each tiny step. as wild and mean as he seems, it's all planned out, he operates with care.

kami on the other hand is a wild card. he's very chaotic, doesn't plan anything. he doesn't like to plan much, he doesn't like to put much thought and care into his actions. he's the very definition of a feral cat and lashes out when cornered, but he does have his favorite people that he runs to when he feels threatened.

they're both SO VASTLY DIFFERENT and yet so similar. this can apply to wanderer era and/or scaramouche era. it's so interesting to see the different portrayals we have.

and yet, they are brothers all the same.

i said this over discord, but i'll say it here.

kami 1000% keeps a personal journal to document his life and the things he's doing in sumeru. he finds it therapeutic to jot down all this thoughts, and knowing he doesn't have to recite them again for nahida. he finds comfort in writing, as well as reading.

Your muse has to share something that’s hard for them to talk about. What is the biggest thing they don’t want to say aloud/admit? What makes it hard for them to say it? [for chongyun and kami!]

FOR KAMI

for him it's admitting that he likes living in Sumeru. He enjoys working for Nahida, and he especially loves feeling like he has a purpose again. He doesn't like the feeling of being empty, wandering aimlessly without direction. Nahida giving him orders and letting him live comfortably to do as he pleases has helped him far more than he's willing to admit to her. He does take solace in the fact she can't easily read his mind to find this out. He'd rather keep this to himself to reflect on it even more. But it's been a nice, small warmth inside his still broken heart, mending it piece, by tiny piece.

FOR CHONGYUN

Chongyun-- he loathes admitting aloud that he's insecure about his abilities and prowess because of their pure yang spirit. Chongyun feels useless as an exorcist who can't see the spirits they're meant to exorcise and banish. On one hand, they know it's meant to be something good, especially since Xiao himself basically told Chongyun that it's something more posititve.

STILLl. it doesn't change the fact that Chongyun still feels insecure and doubts his abilities. He feels his small taste of fame is undeserved, and that life would be easier if he didn't have this condition to deal with. AT THE SAME TIME, Chongyun doesn't want to get rid of it. It's such an intricate part of his life that he wouldn't know how to cope without it, either. Explaining this to other people would mean trying to form all these doubts into words, so he keeps it to himself with only the briefest complaints every so often.

Thought provoking anon here👋💗 Hehe I’m glad you enjoy my curious questions. At first I was afraid I was pestering you but I’m happy you enjoy digging deep into Wanderer’s character. These hypotheticals are coming into my mind because I’m trying to pull for Wanderer right now so🤞

Also! I’m sure you’re already aware of this but I just learned this yesterday. That if you give the Wanderer your(the player’s) name he makes a comment along the lines of how its an honor to share your name.❤️❤️❤️ You know he pretends to be so indifferent when in reality he feels everything.

HE IS SO EMOTIONAL!!

so many people think that just because he appears rude/aloof at first doesn't mean he actually is! wanderer is so complex and packs so many emotions underneath. he has so many complex emotions toward the traveler especially, and at the end of the day, can acknowledge that he doesn't hate the traveler after all, they did help him out when they didn't have to. same with nahida and everyone he works with/played in the championships with.

wanderer cares so much. he cares about people, and tries not to show it, because he's got so many walls up. he doesn't want to get hurt again at the end of the day. boy's got so much angst inside him that it's hard to separate the feelings of trust and actually liking someone, and he struggles with that concept too. he WANTS to open up to people, but if he does, if he lets himself get close, he'll lose them too. it's how it's always worked.

he feels all the hurt, all the sadness, the grief, the pain, the confusion, EVERYTHING. he's a big ol' ball of confusion, while slowly, very slowly, letting his walls down to let people in, because life doesn't always have to be a tragedy, and life for him can actually be good.

i am so passionate about this funky lil bastard. he is my second favorite (next to chongyun, though they tie for first sometimes), and i love any bits of lore we get about him. he deserves the character growth, he deserves all the good things.