He Just Wants Answers - Tumblr Posts

It's getting better . . . right?

Inspired by this fanfic

uploaded on 04/16/21

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ao3 // Wattpad

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I'm confused (Part 1)

Ever since Damian had that weird experience with his brother’s, it was like everyone’s personality towards him did a whole 180. Like a switch has been flipped.

He suspects that the meta-human they fought had something to do with it.

However, whenever he brought it up, everyone seemed to change the subject. As if they didn’t want Damian to know who they fought or how he got injured.

It was both annoying and suspicious.

His nose crinkled in disgust, he wanted his old teammates back.

Even though he hated how he was treated, at least he knew that their actions towards him weren’t fake.

If anything, he knew that he deserved it.

He ruined everything. He was nothing but a mistake that they couldn’t get rid of.

Everything they did towards him was justified. No matter how much it hurts.

So, why. Why are all of them being so adequate towards him now?

It doesn’t make sense.

“Father,” Damian announced as soon as he stepped foot into the office.

“Damian,” the man acknowledged, glancing down at his son. “Is there something that you need?”

“I was wondering if you could tell me about the mission that the Titans had a few days ago. I believe it happened somewhere around midnight.” he paused before adding, “No one is willing to give me any details about it.”

His father stared at him in puzzlement, “You guys haven’t had a night mission for a while. Are you sure that you even had one?”

Damian nodded, “That’s what everyone told me. Plus, they’ve all been acting weird.” his eyes met his father’s as he seriously said, “I believe that everyone has been hit with some type of mind control meta-human.”

Bruce only raised an eyebrow at his youngest’s declaration. “As far as I know, meta-humans like that haven’t gone near your team. Much less you brothers.”

He mentally sighed.

Of course, he wouldn’t believe Damian. Why should he?

Seeing no reason to continue this conversation, Damian nodded and turned away, walking towards his room. He knew better than to assume that his father would want to spend any more time with him.

After all, he was nothing but a mistake. His father didn’t choose to raise him the way he chose to raise the others. He was forced to by his mother.

That’s the difference between him and his siblings. His father chose them and he didn’t choose Damian.

It might hurt him to admit it but it’s the truth. Bruce will never love Damian the way he loves his other protégés.

As he laid on his bed, he couldn’t help but be confused by the whole ordeal. Everyone told him that there was a mission that happened to take place at night. Yet, his father said that there was no mission.

If there was no mission, then why was everyone acting so weird towards him. Nothing made sense.

Whenever Damian tried to connect the dots on what caused his team’s whole personality change, he got nothing. All he remembered was waking up with a massive headache.

For some reason, Damian missed the feeling of being hurt. He had become used to it. And when his teammates didn’t make the snide, mocking comments they usually made, it felt weird to him.

It made him feel guilty.

He didn’t deserve love. He didn’t deserve anyone caring for him. He didn’t deserve anything.

As he rested his eyes, Damian made a promise to himself.

He will figure out what happened that night, no matter what.

And when he does, he will save them from whatever caused this personality change.

Cause deep down, he knew that they didn’t want him.

“Hey, little bat.” a voice interrupted his thoughts.

He sat up, looking around his room, and noticed that all three of his brothers were standing in front of his door.

“Why are you guys here?” he snapped, not in the mood for their silly little games.

“We just want to hang out with you.” Grayson grinned, “Are we not allowed to do that?”

Damian faltered, wanting to tell them that they never wanted to hang out before, but before he could say anything, Todd spoke up. “So what are your plans for the day?”

Damian narrowed his eyes in suspicion, “Why?”

They looked at each other and stated “Because we want to hang out with you.” as if that answer was obvious.

“And what if I don’t want to hang out with you?” he asked, although it came out harsher than he meant it to.

The way they were acting scared Damian. They were acting like they actually cared about him.

But they didn’t.

After all, How could they ever care about a bratty, selfish, self-absorbed, assassin?

Those were their words, not his.

Not that anyone ever said it to his face. Even they weren’t that low. But he’s heard those exact words come out of a lot of his people’s mouths. Even Grayson’s.

So he didn’t dare bring his hopes up. This was probably another trick so that they could lower his guard and humiliate him.

Those were their favorite things to do to him.

“Look, Damian, we know that we haven’t been the best-“ Drake’s blue eyes met his and he faltered, probably trying to find the right word. “-people when it came to being around you.”

Todd scoffed, “That’s an understatement.”

Drake ignored him, “But we want to try harder now. So will you please just give us a chance?” he pleaded.

Damian believed that this whole ruse of theirs was nothing but a trick. Yet when he saw the sincerity in their eyes, he hesitated.

They care. His heart seemed to whisper. They actually care.

Or, his brain argued. This is just a trick. Drake was always the best actor out of the three of them.

Damian didn’t know which one to agree with.

Plus, there’s no way that they actually care for you. His brain continued. After everything they’ve said, you’re actually going to fall for this? What would your mother say? Meta-human or not, they don’t care about you.

“If I do decide to give you a chance,” Damian tried to negotiate, “Will you guys finally tell me about the mission?”

No matter how much Damian wanted to listen to his heart, his brain had the most logical information. There was no way his brothers would willingly change their attitudes towards him. Meta human or not.

Damian noticed that they glanced at each other again, something they always did when they were hiding something.

“Look Damian,” Grayson slowly said, sitting next to Damian on his bed. “We can’t te-”

“You know, Father mentioned that we didn’t even have a mission.” he suddenly interrupted.

Grayson and the others froze. “He did?”

Damian nodded as he discreetly tried to move away from him. “So, either there was no mission,” the and you guys lied to me was left unsaid, “Or-“

“We snuck out!” The others stared at Todd in disbelief, “What,” he shrugged. “It’s not like he’s gonna tell the bat.”

Grayson suddenly pulled Damian closer to him, “Don’t think I don’t notice you trying to get away from us.”

He missed the way Drake’s lips curled up in a smirk as he moved closer to Damian as well, “Yeah, little bat. Do you not like us or something?”

“Was that not obvious?” Damian retorted, trying to get away from Grayson’s hug. “Let me go!” when Grayson wouldn’t budge, he added a small, “please.”

Todd laughed, “Let the kid go. If he doesn’t want to find out more about the mission, then that’s on him.”

Damian faltered, he really wanted to know about the mission. He was his team’s leader and he was responsible for their safety. He couldn’t fail them again.

“I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you guys were planning to do.”

Damian noticed how their eyes seemed to light up and he couldn’t help but feel accomplished.

He did something right.

“Great.” Grayson finally let him go, “Today is actually the day where we relax and just bond. Tim had this ide-“

Damian wasn’t paying attention to the older kid’s babbling. He still couldn’t decide if the turning in his stomach meant that this activity he was doing with his brothers was a good thing or not.

It was weird.

Usually, his instincts were something that Damian could clearly interpret. But lately, it seemed like even they were confused.

Though, he had a feeling that it might have something to do with his memory loss of what happened that day.

He glanced up and noticed that his brother’s backs were facing him. They were walking in front of him and considering the fact that they didn’t give Damian a second glance, he assumed that they were having an intense conversation.

Damian knew that something happened that day and considering how no one would tell him about it. He knew that it was important. And he will stop at nothing to figure out what it was.

Even if he got hurt in the process.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It turns out that Drake’s definition of “bonding” meant going back to the Titan’s Tower.

Damian did not want to be there with his brothers. He didn’t know how to explain it but he got this feeling of deja vu.

And it was not the good kind.

Damian mentally put that in his box of questions to find answers for.

He found everyone from his team hanging out in front of the TV

It was probably another team bonding experience that he wasn’t invited to.

“What’s up guys,” Grayson greeted as hopped on the couch.

The other followed his lead, leaving Damian alone in front of the door.

He didn’t know what to do.

Should he join them?

No.

He would only ruin the bonding experience.

Instead, Damian retreated into the kitchen. Hoping for some peace and quiet so that he could think.

Damian should’ve expected something like this to happen. Even if he only agreed so that he could get more information about the mission, a small part of him found himself looking forward to spending the day with his brothers.

What was the point of that whole sentimental speech if all they were gonna do was abandon him as soon as they saw his team?

Were they embarrassed to be seen hanging out with Damian?

Probably.

Damian sighed. Since when were they so close with his team anyways? As far as he knew, his brothers refused to be associated with anything that Damian was associated with.

Though, he couldn’t help be saddened at the fact that his own brothers had a closer relationship with his own team than he did.

Damian clenched his fists. It wasn’t fair.

None of this was fair.

He was about to leave when a lonely mug caught his eye. It was plain white and covered with bats.

He’s never seen this mug before, yet something about it just seemed so familiar.

He reached out and grabbed it, studying every inch like it’ll give him the answers he was looking for.

“There you are!” he heard a voice suddenly exclaim, “GUYS, I FOUND DAMIAN!”

The sudden screaming caused Damian to jump and drop the mug.

Fuck.

He messed up. Again.

Damian kneeled down, grabbing the larger pieces of the glass when he froze.

Flashes of Grayson forcing Damian into the tower resurfaced. He saw that Drake and Todd were there as well with everyone else. Todd was sitting there with a mug. The exact one that he just broke.

“Damian,” a hand touched his shoulder and Damian flinched, forcing the hand away.

Realizing what he just did, he muttered a soft apology.

“It’s fine.” Todd waved it off, “But are you okay? You just froze there for a minute.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Damian tried to assure, “I just- I think I remembered something.”

With that simple sentence, it was like the whole room froze.

They warily looked at each other before Emiko hesitantly spoke up. “What did you remember?”

Damian shrugged. “Nothing much. I just-“ he turned to his siblings, “Wait, why didn’t you guys inform me that we were all in the tower during the mission?”

Minutes seemed to pass and no one said anything. It was like everyone was waiting for someone to speak up.

Suddenly, Djinn pulled Damian out of the kitchen. “Come on.” she urged, “Why don’t we watch a movie or something.” leaning in, she whispered. “The atmosphere there was getting way too tense and awkward for my liking.”

Even though Damian knew she didn’t mean to make him feel bad, he still did.

If he just asked them that question in private then all of them wouldn’t be in such a bad mood.

Why did he have to ruin everything?

Damian sent her a fake smile, “You can pick what you wanna watch. I usually don’t waste my time watching foolish things.”

Djinn nodded, used to Damian’s cold demeanor, and picked a movie called ‘Legally Blonde’. “This one is a classic.” she informed him, “It’s a team favorite.”

Due to the fact that Damian was rarely invited to their “team” outings, he didn’t know that. But he didn’t want to ruin the comfortable atmosphere they were in so he only nodded, turning his focus on the huge screen.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize that everyone else joined them in the room.

As his eyes got heavier, Damian felt a warm blanket cover his body.

He noticed that Drake was sitting next to him, gesturing for Damian to rest his head on his shoulders.

The smile that Drake sent him when he complied made Damian’s stomach turn.

This happened before, his brain mentioned. And it didn’t turn out good.

Oh really? his heart asked. Then why don’t we remember it?

Because we can’t remember anything that happened! His brain snapped.

You heard what they said before. His heart kindly reminded him, They care. Why can’t we just give them a chance?

His brain seemed to scoff, sure. It sarcastically said, give them a chance. But don’t blame me when you regret it.

Just one chance. his heart firmly stated, ignoring the brain. Don’t we deserve it?

Damian wasn’t aware that he snuggled closer to his brother.

Just one.

For once in his life, Damian decided that maybe it was time for him to listen to his heart.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Note:

Comment your thoughts!

It's getting better . . . right?

Inspired by this fanfic

uploaded on 04/16/21

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ao3 // Wattpad

previous II next

I'm confused (Part 1)

Ever since Damian had that weird experience with his brother’s, it was like everyone’s personality towards him did a whole 180. Like a switch has been flipped.

He suspects that the meta-human they fought had something to do with it.

However, whenever he brought it up, everyone seemed to change the subject. As if they didn’t want Damian to know who they fought or how he got injured.

It was both annoying and suspicious.

His nose crinkled in disgust, he wanted his old teammates back.

Even though he hated how he was treated, at least he knew that their actions towards him weren’t fake.

If anything, he knew that he deserved it.

He ruined everything. He was nothing but a mistake that they couldn’t get rid of.

Everything they did towards him was justified. No matter how much it hurts.

So, why. Why are all of them being so adequate towards him now?

It doesn’t make sense.

“Father,” Damian announced as soon as he stepped foot into the office.

“Damian,” the man acknowledged, glancing down at his son. “Is there something that you need?”

“I was wondering if you could tell me about the mission that the Titans had a few days ago. I believe it happened somewhere around midnight.” he paused before adding, “No one is willing to give me any details about it.”

His father stared at him in puzzlement, “You guys haven’t had a night mission for a while. Are you sure that you even had one?”

Damian nodded, “That’s what everyone told me. Plus, they’ve all been acting weird.” his eyes met his father’s as he seriously said, “I believe that everyone has been hit with some type of mind control meta-human.”

Bruce only raised an eyebrow at his youngest’s declaration. “As far as I know, meta-humans like that haven’t gone near your team. Much less you brothers.”

He mentally sighed.

Of course, he wouldn’t believe Damian. Why should he?

Seeing no reason to continue this conversation, Damian nodded and turned away, walking towards his room. He knew better than to assume that his father would want to spend any more time with him.

After all, he was nothing but a mistake. His father didn’t choose to raise him the way he chose to raise the others. He was forced to by his mother.

That’s the difference between him and his siblings. His father chose them and he didn’t choose Damian.

It might hurt him to admit it but it’s the truth. Bruce will never love Damian the way he loves his other protégés.

As he laid on his bed, he couldn’t help but be confused by the whole ordeal. Everyone told him that there was a mission that happened to take place at night. Yet, his father said that there was no mission.

If there was no mission, then why was everyone acting so weird towards him. Nothing made sense.

Whenever Damian tried to connect the dots on what caused his team’s whole personality change, he got nothing. All he remembered was waking up with a massive headache.

For some reason, Damian missed the feeling of being hurt. He had become used to it. And when his teammates didn’t make the snide, mocking comments they usually made, it felt weird to him.

It made him feel guilty.

He didn’t deserve love. He didn’t deserve anyone caring for him. He didn’t deserve anything.

As he rested his eyes, Damian made a promise to himself.

He will figure out what happened that night, no matter what.

And when he does, he will save them from whatever caused this personality change.

Cause deep down, he knew that they didn’t want him.

“Hey, little bat.” a voice interrupted his thoughts.

He sat up, looking around his room, and noticed that all three of his brothers were standing in front of his door.

“Why are you guys here?” he snapped, not in the mood for their silly little games.

“We just want to hang out with you.” Grayson grinned, “Are we not allowed to do that?”

Damian faltered, wanting to tell them that they never wanted to hang out before, but before he could say anything, Todd spoke up. “So what are your plans for the day?”

Damian narrowed his eyes in suspicion, “Why?”

They looked at each other and stated “Because we want to hang out with you.” as if that answer was obvious.

“And what if I don’t want to hang out with you?” he asked, although it came out harsher than he meant it to.

The way they were acting scared Damian. They were acting like they actually cared about him.

But they didn’t.

After all, How could they ever care about a bratty, selfish, self-absorbed, assassin?

Those were their words, not his.

Not that anyone ever said it to his face. Even they weren’t that low. But he’s heard those exact words come out of a lot of his people’s mouths. Even Grayson’s.

So he didn’t dare bring his hopes up. This was probably another trick so that they could lower his guard and humiliate him.

Those were their favorite things to do to him.

“Look, Damian, we know that we haven’t been the best-“ Drake’s blue eyes met his and he faltered, probably trying to find the right word. “-people when it came to being around you.”

Todd scoffed, “That’s an understatement.”

Drake ignored him, “But we want to try harder now. So will you please just give us a chance?” he pleaded.

Damian believed that this whole ruse of theirs was nothing but a trick. Yet when he saw the sincerity in their eyes, he hesitated.

They care. His heart seemed to whisper. They actually care.

Or, his brain argued. This is just a trick. Drake was always the best actor out of the three of them.

Damian didn’t know which one to agree with.

Plus, there’s no way that they actually care for you. His brain continued. After everything they’ve said, you’re actually going to fall for this? What would your mother say? Meta-human or not, they don’t care about you.

“If I do decide to give you a chance,” Damian tried to negotiate, “Will you guys finally tell me about the mission?”

No matter how much Damian wanted to listen to his heart, his brain had the most logical information. There was no way his brothers would willingly change their attitudes towards him. Meta human or not.

Damian noticed that they glanced at each other again, something they always did when they were hiding something.

“Look Damian,” Grayson slowly said, sitting next to Damian on his bed. “We can’t te-”

“You know, Father mentioned that we didn’t even have a mission.” he suddenly interrupted.

Grayson and the others froze. “He did?”

Damian nodded as he discreetly tried to move away from him. “So, either there was no mission,” the and you guys lied to me was left unsaid, “Or-“

“We snuck out!” The others stared at Todd in disbelief, “What,” he shrugged. “It’s not like he’s gonna tell the bat.”

Grayson suddenly pulled Damian closer to him, “Don’t think I don’t notice you trying to get away from us.”

He missed the way Drake’s lips curled up in a smirk as he moved closer to Damian as well, “Yeah, little bat. Do you not like us or something?”

“Was that not obvious?” Damian retorted, trying to get away from Grayson’s hug. “Let me go!” when Grayson wouldn’t budge, he added a small, “please.”

Todd laughed, “Let the kid go. If he doesn’t want to find out more about the mission, then that’s on him.”

Damian faltered, he really wanted to know about the mission. He was his team’s leader and he was responsible for their safety. He couldn’t fail them again.

“I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you guys were planning to do.”

Damian noticed how their eyes seemed to light up and he couldn’t help but feel accomplished.

He did something right.

“Great.” Grayson finally let him go, “Today is actually the day where we relax and just bond. Tim had this ide-“

Damian wasn’t paying attention to the older kid’s babbling. He still couldn’t decide if the turning in his stomach meant that this activity he was doing with his brothers was a good thing or not.

It was weird.

Usually, his instincts were something that Damian could clearly interpret. But lately, it seemed like even they were confused.

Though, he had a feeling that it might have something to do with his memory loss of what happened that day.

He glanced up and noticed that his brother’s backs were facing him. They were walking in front of him and considering the fact that they didn’t give Damian a second glance, he assumed that they were having an intense conversation.

Damian knew that something happened that day and considering how no one would tell him about it. He knew that it was important. And he will stop at nothing to figure out what it was.

Even if he got hurt in the process.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It turns out that Drake’s definition of “bonding” meant going back to the Titan’s Tower.

Damian did not want to be there with his brothers. He didn’t know how to explain it but he got this feeling of deja vu.

And it was not the good kind.

Damian mentally put that in his box of questions to find answers for.

He found everyone from his team hanging out in front of the TV

It was probably another team bonding experience that he wasn’t invited to.

“What’s up guys,” Grayson greeted as hopped on the couch.

The other followed his lead, leaving Damian alone in front of the door.

He didn’t know what to do.

Should he join them?

No.

He would only ruin the bonding experience.

Instead, Damian retreated into the kitchen. Hoping for some peace and quiet so that he could think.

Damian should’ve expected something like this to happen. Even if he only agreed so that he could get more information about the mission, a small part of him found himself looking forward to spending the day with his brothers.

What was the point of that whole sentimental speech if all they were gonna do was abandon him as soon as they saw his team?

Were they embarrassed to be seen hanging out with Damian?

Probably.

Damian sighed. Since when were they so close with his team anyways? As far as he knew, his brothers refused to be associated with anything that Damian was associated with.

Though, he couldn’t help be saddened at the fact that his own brothers had a closer relationship with his own team than he did.

Damian clenched his fists. It wasn’t fair.

None of this was fair.

He was about to leave when a lonely mug caught his eye. It was plain white and covered with bats.

He’s never seen this mug before, yet something about it just seemed so familiar.

He reached out and grabbed it, studying every inch like it’ll give him the answers he was looking for.

“There you are!” he heard a voice suddenly exclaim, “GUYS, I FOUND DAMIAN!”

The sudden screaming caused Damian to jump and drop the mug.

Fuck.

He messed up. Again.

Damian kneeled down, grabbing the larger pieces of the glass when he froze.

Flashes of Grayson forcing Damian into the tower resurfaced. He saw that Drake and Todd were there as well with everyone else. Todd was sitting there with a mug. The exact one that he just broke.

“Damian,” a hand touched his shoulder and Damian flinched, forcing the hand away.

Realizing what he just did, he muttered a soft apology.

“It’s fine.” Todd waved it off, “But are you okay? You just froze there for a minute.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Damian tried to assure, “I just- I think I remembered something.”

With that simple sentence, it was like the whole room froze.

They warily looked at each other before Emiko hesitantly spoke up. “What did you remember?”

Damian shrugged. “Nothing much. I just-“ he turned to his siblings, “Wait, why didn’t you guys inform me that we were all in the tower during the mission?”

Minutes seemed to pass and no one said anything. It was like everyone was waiting for someone to speak up.

Suddenly, Djinn pulled Damian out of the kitchen. “Come on.” she urged, “Why don’t we watch a movie or something.” leaning in, she whispered. “The atmosphere there was getting way too tense and awkward for my liking.”

Even though Damian knew she didn’t mean to make him feel bad, he still did.

If he just asked them that question in private then all of them wouldn’t be in such a bad mood.

Why did he have to ruin everything?

Damian sent her a fake smile, “You can pick what you wanna watch. I usually don’t waste my time watching foolish things.”

Djinn nodded, used to Damian’s cold demeanor, and picked a movie called ‘Legally Blonde’. “This one is a classic.” she informed him, “It’s a team favorite.”

Due to the fact that Damian was rarely invited to their “team” outings, he didn’t know that. But he didn’t want to ruin the comfortable atmosphere they were in so he only nodded, turning his focus on the huge screen.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize that everyone else joined them in the room.

As his eyes got heavier, Damian felt a warm blanket cover his body.

He noticed that Drake was sitting next to him, gesturing for Damian to rest his head on his shoulders.

The smile that Drake sent him when he complied made Damian’s stomach turn.

This happened before, his brain mentioned. And it didn’t turn out good.

Oh really? his heart asked. Then why don’t we remember it?

Because we can’t remember anything that happened! His brain snapped.

You heard what they said before. His heart kindly reminded him, They care. Why can’t we just give them a chance?

His brain seemed to scoff, sure. It sarcastically said, give them a chance. But don’t blame me when you regret it.

Just one chance. his heart firmly stated, ignoring the brain. Don’t we deserve it?

Damian wasn’t aware that he snuggled closer to his brother.

Just one.

For once in his life, Damian decided that maybe it was time for him to listen to his heart.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Note:

Comment your thoughts!

It's getting better . . . right?

Inspired by this fanfic

uploaded on 04/16/21

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ao3 // Wattpad

previous II next

I'm confused (Part 1)

Ever since Damian had that weird experience with his brother’s, it was like everyone’s personality towards him did a whole 180. Like a switch has been flipped.

He suspects that the meta-human they fought had something to do with it.

However, whenever he brought it up, everyone seemed to change the subject. As if they didn’t want Damian to know who they fought or how he got injured.

It was both annoying and suspicious.

His nose crinkled in disgust, he wanted his old teammates back.

Even though he hated how he was treated, at least he knew that their actions towards him weren’t fake.

If anything, he knew that he deserved it.

He ruined everything. He was nothing but a mistake that they couldn’t get rid of.

Everything they did towards him was justified. No matter how much it hurts.

So, why. Why are all of them being so adequate towards him now?

It doesn’t make sense.

“Father,” Damian announced as soon as he stepped foot into the office.

“Damian,” the man acknowledged, glancing down at his son. “Is there something that you need?”

“I was wondering if you could tell me about the mission that the Titans had a few days ago. I believe it happened somewhere around midnight.” he paused before adding, “No one is willing to give me any details about it.”

His father stared at him in puzzlement, “You guys haven’t had a night mission for a while. Are you sure that you even had one?”

Damian nodded, “That’s what everyone told me. Plus, they’ve all been acting weird.” his eyes met his father’s as he seriously said, “I believe that everyone has been hit with some type of mind control meta-human.”

Bruce only raised an eyebrow at his youngest’s declaration. “As far as I know, meta-humans like that haven’t gone near your team. Much less you brothers.”

He mentally sighed.

Of course, he wouldn’t believe Damian. Why should he?

Seeing no reason to continue this conversation, Damian nodded and turned away, walking towards his room. He knew better than to assume that his father would want to spend any more time with him.

After all, he was nothing but a mistake. His father didn’t choose to raise him the way he chose to raise the others. He was forced to by his mother.

That’s the difference between him and his siblings. His father chose them and he didn’t choose Damian.

It might hurt him to admit it but it’s the truth. Bruce will never love Damian the way he loves his other protégés.

As he laid on his bed, he couldn’t help but be confused by the whole ordeal. Everyone told him that there was a mission that happened to take place at night. Yet, his father said that there was no mission.

If there was no mission, then why was everyone acting so weird towards him. Nothing made sense.

Whenever Damian tried to connect the dots on what caused his team’s whole personality change, he got nothing. All he remembered was waking up with a massive headache.

For some reason, Damian missed the feeling of being hurt. He had become used to it. And when his teammates didn’t make the snide, mocking comments they usually made, it felt weird to him.

It made him feel guilty.

He didn’t deserve love. He didn’t deserve anyone caring for him. He didn’t deserve anything.

As he rested his eyes, Damian made a promise to himself.

He will figure out what happened that night, no matter what.

And when he does, he will save them from whatever caused this personality change.

Cause deep down, he knew that they didn’t want him.

“Hey, little bat.” a voice interrupted his thoughts.

He sat up, looking around his room, and noticed that all three of his brothers were standing in front of his door.

“Why are you guys here?” he snapped, not in the mood for their silly little games.

“We just want to hang out with you.” Grayson grinned, “Are we not allowed to do that?”

Damian faltered, wanting to tell them that they never wanted to hang out before, but before he could say anything, Todd spoke up. “So what are your plans for the day?”

Damian narrowed his eyes in suspicion, “Why?”

They looked at each other and stated “Because we want to hang out with you.” as if that answer was obvious.

“And what if I don’t want to hang out with you?” he asked, although it came out harsher than he meant it to.

The way they were acting scared Damian. They were acting like they actually cared about him.

But they didn’t.

After all, How could they ever care about a bratty, selfish, self-absorbed, assassin?

Those were their words, not his.

Not that anyone ever said it to his face. Even they weren’t that low. But he’s heard those exact words come out of a lot of his people’s mouths. Even Grayson’s.

So he didn’t dare bring his hopes up. This was probably another trick so that they could lower his guard and humiliate him.

Those were their favorite things to do to him.

“Look, Damian, we know that we haven’t been the best-“ Drake’s blue eyes met his and he faltered, probably trying to find the right word. “-people when it came to being around you.”

Todd scoffed, “That’s an understatement.”

Drake ignored him, “But we want to try harder now. So will you please just give us a chance?” he pleaded.

Damian believed that this whole ruse of theirs was nothing but a trick. Yet when he saw the sincerity in their eyes, he hesitated.

They care. His heart seemed to whisper. They actually care.

Or, his brain argued. This is just a trick. Drake was always the best actor out of the three of them.

Damian didn’t know which one to agree with.

Plus, there’s no way that they actually care for you. His brain continued. After everything they’ve said, you’re actually going to fall for this? What would your mother say? Meta-human or not, they don’t care about you.

“If I do decide to give you a chance,” Damian tried to negotiate, “Will you guys finally tell me about the mission?”

No matter how much Damian wanted to listen to his heart, his brain had the most logical information. There was no way his brothers would willingly change their attitudes towards him. Meta human or not.

Damian noticed that they glanced at each other again, something they always did when they were hiding something.

“Look Damian,” Grayson slowly said, sitting next to Damian on his bed. “We can’t te-”

“You know, Father mentioned that we didn’t even have a mission.” he suddenly interrupted.

Grayson and the others froze. “He did?”

Damian nodded as he discreetly tried to move away from him. “So, either there was no mission,” the and you guys lied to me was left unsaid, “Or-“

“We snuck out!” The others stared at Todd in disbelief, “What,” he shrugged. “It’s not like he’s gonna tell the bat.”

Grayson suddenly pulled Damian closer to him, “Don’t think I don’t notice you trying to get away from us.”

He missed the way Drake’s lips curled up in a smirk as he moved closer to Damian as well, “Yeah, little bat. Do you not like us or something?”

“Was that not obvious?” Damian retorted, trying to get away from Grayson’s hug. “Let me go!” when Grayson wouldn’t budge, he added a small, “please.”

Todd laughed, “Let the kid go. If he doesn’t want to find out more about the mission, then that’s on him.”

Damian faltered, he really wanted to know about the mission. He was his team’s leader and he was responsible for their safety. He couldn’t fail them again.

“I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you guys were planning to do.”

Damian noticed how their eyes seemed to light up and he couldn’t help but feel accomplished.

He did something right.

“Great.” Grayson finally let him go, “Today is actually the day where we relax and just bond. Tim had this ide-“

Damian wasn’t paying attention to the older kid’s babbling. He still couldn’t decide if the turning in his stomach meant that this activity he was doing with his brothers was a good thing or not.

It was weird.

Usually, his instincts were something that Damian could clearly interpret. But lately, it seemed like even they were confused.

Though, he had a feeling that it might have something to do with his memory loss of what happened that day.

He glanced up and noticed that his brother’s backs were facing him. They were walking in front of him and considering the fact that they didn’t give Damian a second glance, he assumed that they were having an intense conversation.

Damian knew that something happened that day and considering how no one would tell him about it. He knew that it was important. And he will stop at nothing to figure out what it was.

Even if he got hurt in the process.

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It turns out that Drake’s definition of “bonding” meant going back to the Titan’s Tower.

Damian did not want to be there with his brothers. He didn’t know how to explain it but he got this feeling of deja vu.

And it was not the good kind.

Damian mentally put that in his box of questions to find answers for.

He found everyone from his team hanging out in front of the TV

It was probably another team bonding experience that he wasn’t invited to.

“What’s up guys,” Grayson greeted as hopped on the couch.

The other followed his lead, leaving Damian alone in front of the door.

He didn’t know what to do.

Should he join them?

No.

He would only ruin the bonding experience.

Instead, Damian retreated into the kitchen. Hoping for some peace and quiet so that he could think.

Damian should’ve expected something like this to happen. Even if he only agreed so that he could get more information about the mission, a small part of him found himself looking forward to spending the day with his brothers.

What was the point of that whole sentimental speech if all they were gonna do was abandon him as soon as they saw his team?

Were they embarrassed to be seen hanging out with Damian?

Probably.

Damian sighed. Since when were they so close with his team anyways? As far as he knew, his brothers refused to be associated with anything that Damian was associated with.

Though, he couldn’t help be saddened at the fact that his own brothers had a closer relationship with his own team than he did.

Damian clenched his fists. It wasn’t fair.

None of this was fair.

He was about to leave when a lonely mug caught his eye. It was plain white and covered with bats.

He’s never seen this mug before, yet something about it just seemed so familiar.

He reached out and grabbed it, studying every inch like it’ll give him the answers he was looking for.

“There you are!” he heard a voice suddenly exclaim, “GUYS, I FOUND DAMIAN!”

The sudden screaming caused Damian to jump and drop the mug.

Fuck.

He messed up. Again.

Damian kneeled down, grabbing the larger pieces of the glass when he froze.

Flashes of Grayson forcing Damian into the tower resurfaced. He saw that Drake and Todd were there as well with everyone else. Todd was sitting there with a mug. The exact one that he just broke.

“Damian,” a hand touched his shoulder and Damian flinched, forcing the hand away.

Realizing what he just did, he muttered a soft apology.

“It’s fine.” Todd waved it off, “But are you okay? You just froze there for a minute.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Damian tried to assure, “I just- I think I remembered something.”

With that simple sentence, it was like the whole room froze.

They warily looked at each other before Emiko hesitantly spoke up. “What did you remember?”

Damian shrugged. “Nothing much. I just-“ he turned to his siblings, “Wait, why didn’t you guys inform me that we were all in the tower during the mission?”

Minutes seemed to pass and no one said anything. It was like everyone was waiting for someone to speak up.

Suddenly, Djinn pulled Damian out of the kitchen. “Come on.” she urged, “Why don’t we watch a movie or something.” leaning in, she whispered. “The atmosphere there was getting way too tense and awkward for my liking.”

Even though Damian knew she didn’t mean to make him feel bad, he still did.

If he just asked them that question in private then all of them wouldn’t be in such a bad mood.

Why did he have to ruin everything?

Damian sent her a fake smile, “You can pick what you wanna watch. I usually don’t waste my time watching foolish things.”

Djinn nodded, used to Damian’s cold demeanor, and picked a movie called ‘Legally Blonde’. “This one is a classic.” she informed him, “It’s a team favorite.”

Due to the fact that Damian was rarely invited to their “team” outings, he didn’t know that. But he didn’t want to ruin the comfortable atmosphere they were in so he only nodded, turning his focus on the huge screen.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize that everyone else joined them in the room.

As his eyes got heavier, Damian felt a warm blanket cover his body.

He noticed that Drake was sitting next to him, gesturing for Damian to rest his head on his shoulders.

The smile that Drake sent him when he complied made Damian’s stomach turn.

This happened before, his brain mentioned. And it didn’t turn out good.

Oh really? his heart asked. Then why don’t we remember it?

Because we can’t remember anything that happened! His brain snapped.

You heard what they said before. His heart kindly reminded him, They care. Why can’t we just give them a chance?

His brain seemed to scoff, sure. It sarcastically said, give them a chance. But don’t blame me when you regret it.

Just one chance. his heart firmly stated, ignoring the brain. Don’t we deserve it?

Damian wasn’t aware that he snuggled closer to his brother.

Just one.

For once in his life, Damian decided that maybe it was time for him to listen to his heart.

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I'm confused (Part 1)

Ever since Damian had that weird experience with his brother’s, it was like everyone’s personality towards him did a whole 180. Like a switch has been flipped.

He suspects that the meta-human they fought had something to do with it.

However, whenever he brought it up, everyone seemed to change the subject. As if they didn’t want Damian to know who they fought or how he got injured.

It was both annoying and suspicious.

His nose crinkled in disgust, he wanted his old teammates back.

Even though he hated how he was treated, at least he knew that their actions towards him weren’t fake.

If anything, he knew that he deserved it.

He ruined everything. He was nothing but a mistake that they couldn’t get rid of.

Everything they did towards him was justified. No matter how much it hurts.

So, why. Why are all of them being so adequate towards him now?

It doesn’t make sense.

“Father,” Damian announced as soon as he stepped foot into the office.

“Damian,” the man acknowledged, glancing down at his son. “Is there something that you need?”

“I was wondering if you could tell me about the mission that the Titans had a few days ago. I believe it happened somewhere around midnight.” he paused before adding, “No one is willing to give me any details about it.”

His father stared at him in puzzlement, “You guys haven’t had a night mission for a while. Are you sure that you even had one?”

Damian nodded, “That’s what everyone told me. Plus, they’ve all been acting weird.” his eyes met his father’s as he seriously said, “I believe that everyone has been hit with some type of mind control meta-human.”

Bruce only raised an eyebrow at his youngest’s declaration. “As far as I know, meta-humans like that haven’t gone near your team. Much less you brothers.”

He mentally sighed.

Of course, he wouldn’t believe Damian. Why should he?

Seeing no reason to continue this conversation, Damian nodded and turned away, walking towards his room. He knew better than to assume that his father would want to spend any more time with him.

After all, he was nothing but a mistake. His father didn’t choose to raise him the way he chose to raise the others. He was forced to by his mother.

That’s the difference between him and his siblings. His father chose them and he didn’t choose Damian.

It might hurt him to admit it but it’s the truth. Bruce will never love Damian the way he loves his other protégés.

As he laid on his bed, he couldn’t help but be confused by the whole ordeal. Everyone told him that there was a mission that happened to take place at night. Yet, his father said that there was no mission.

If there was no mission, then why was everyone acting so weird towards him. Nothing made sense.

Whenever Damian tried to connect the dots on what caused his team’s whole personality change, he got nothing. All he remembered was waking up with a massive headache.

For some reason, Damian missed the feeling of being hurt. He had become used to it. And when his teammates didn’t make the snide, mocking comments they usually made, it felt weird to him.

It made him feel guilty.

He didn’t deserve love. He didn’t deserve anyone caring for him. He didn’t deserve anything.

As he rested his eyes, Damian made a promise to himself.

He will figure out what happened that night, no matter what.

And when he does, he will save them from whatever caused this personality change.

Cause deep down, he knew that they didn’t want him.

“Hey, little bat.” a voice interrupted his thoughts.

He sat up, looking around his room, and noticed that all three of his brothers were standing in front of his door.

“Why are you guys here?” he snapped, not in the mood for their silly little games.

“We just want to hang out with you.” Grayson grinned, “Are we not allowed to do that?”

Damian faltered, wanting to tell them that they never wanted to hang out before, but before he could say anything, Todd spoke up. “So what are your plans for the day?”

Damian narrowed his eyes in suspicion, “Why?”

They looked at each other and stated “Because we want to hang out with you.” as if that answer was obvious.

“And what if I don’t want to hang out with you?” he asked, although it came out harsher than he meant it to.

The way they were acting scared Damian. They were acting like they actually cared about him.

But they didn’t.

After all, How could they ever care about a bratty, selfish, self-absorbed, assassin?

Those were their words, not his.

Not that anyone ever said it to his face. Even they weren’t that low. But he’s heard those exact words come out of a lot of his people’s mouths. Even Grayson’s.

So he didn’t dare bring his hopes up. This was probably another trick so that they could lower his guard and humiliate him.

Those were their favorite things to do to him.

“Look, Damian, we know that we haven’t been the best-“ Drake’s blue eyes met his and he faltered, probably trying to find the right word. “-people when it came to being around you.”

Todd scoffed, “That’s an understatement.”

Drake ignored him, “But we want to try harder now. So will you please just give us a chance?” he pleaded.

Damian believed that this whole ruse of theirs was nothing but a trick. Yet when he saw the sincerity in their eyes, he hesitated.

They care. His heart seemed to whisper. They actually care.

Or, his brain argued. This is just a trick. Drake was always the best actor out of the three of them.

Damian didn’t know which one to agree with.

Plus, there’s no way that they actually care for you. His brain continued. After everything they’ve said, you’re actually going to fall for this? What would your mother say? Meta-human or not, they don’t care about you.

“If I do decide to give you a chance,” Damian tried to negotiate, “Will you guys finally tell me about the mission?”

No matter how much Damian wanted to listen to his heart, his brain had the most logical information. There was no way his brothers would willingly change their attitudes towards him. Meta human or not.

Damian noticed that they glanced at each other again, something they always did when they were hiding something.

“Look Damian,” Grayson slowly said, sitting next to Damian on his bed. “We can’t te-”

“You know, Father mentioned that we didn’t even have a mission.” he suddenly interrupted.

Grayson and the others froze. “He did?”

Damian nodded as he discreetly tried to move away from him. “So, either there was no mission,” the and you guys lied to me was left unsaid, “Or-“

“We snuck out!” The others stared at Todd in disbelief, “What,” he shrugged. “It’s not like he’s gonna tell the bat.”

Grayson suddenly pulled Damian closer to him, “Don’t think I don’t notice you trying to get away from us.”

He missed the way Drake’s lips curled up in a smirk as he moved closer to Damian as well, “Yeah, little bat. Do you not like us or something?”

“Was that not obvious?” Damian retorted, trying to get away from Grayson’s hug. “Let me go!” when Grayson wouldn’t budge, he added a small, “please.”

Todd laughed, “Let the kid go. If he doesn’t want to find out more about the mission, then that’s on him.”

Damian faltered, he really wanted to know about the mission. He was his team’s leader and he was responsible for their safety. He couldn’t fail them again.

“I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you guys were planning to do.”

Damian noticed how their eyes seemed to light up and he couldn’t help but feel accomplished.

He did something right.

“Great.” Grayson finally let him go, “Today is actually the day where we relax and just bond. Tim had this ide-“

Damian wasn’t paying attention to the older kid’s babbling. He still couldn’t decide if the turning in his stomach meant that this activity he was doing with his brothers was a good thing or not.

It was weird.

Usually, his instincts were something that Damian could clearly interpret. But lately, it seemed like even they were confused.

Though, he had a feeling that it might have something to do with his memory loss of what happened that day.

He glanced up and noticed that his brother’s backs were facing him. They were walking in front of him and considering the fact that they didn’t give Damian a second glance, he assumed that they were having an intense conversation.

Damian knew that something happened that day and considering how no one would tell him about it. He knew that it was important. And he will stop at nothing to figure out what it was.

Even if he got hurt in the process.

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It turns out that Drake’s definition of “bonding” meant going back to the Titan’s Tower.

Damian did not want to be there with his brothers. He didn’t know how to explain it but he got this feeling of deja vu.

And it was not the good kind.

Damian mentally put that in his box of questions to find answers for.

He found everyone from his team hanging out in front of the TV

It was probably another team bonding experience that he wasn’t invited to.

“What’s up guys,” Grayson greeted as hopped on the couch.

The other followed his lead, leaving Damian alone in front of the door.

He didn’t know what to do.

Should he join them?

No.

He would only ruin the bonding experience.

Instead, Damian retreated into the kitchen. Hoping for some peace and quiet so that he could think.

Damian should’ve expected something like this to happen. Even if he only agreed so that he could get more information about the mission, a small part of him found himself looking forward to spending the day with his brothers.

What was the point of that whole sentimental speech if all they were gonna do was abandon him as soon as they saw his team?

Were they embarrassed to be seen hanging out with Damian?

Probably.

Damian sighed. Since when were they so close with his team anyways? As far as he knew, his brothers refused to be associated with anything that Damian was associated with.

Though, he couldn’t help be saddened at the fact that his own brothers had a closer relationship with his own team than he did.

Damian clenched his fists. It wasn’t fair.

None of this was fair.

He was about to leave when a lonely mug caught his eye. It was plain white and covered with bats.

He’s never seen this mug before, yet something about it just seemed so familiar.

He reached out and grabbed it, studying every inch like it’ll give him the answers he was looking for.

“There you are!” he heard a voice suddenly exclaim, “GUYS, I FOUND DAMIAN!”

The sudden screaming caused Damian to jump and drop the mug.

Fuck.

He messed up. Again.

Damian kneeled down, grabbing the larger pieces of the glass when he froze.

Flashes of Grayson forcing Damian into the tower resurfaced. He saw that Drake and Todd were there as well with everyone else. Todd was sitting there with a mug. The exact one that he just broke.

“Damian,” a hand touched his shoulder and Damian flinched, forcing the hand away.

Realizing what he just did, he muttered a soft apology.

“It’s fine.” Todd waved it off, “But are you okay? You just froze there for a minute.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Damian tried to assure, “I just- I think I remembered something.”

With that simple sentence, it was like the whole room froze.

They warily looked at each other before Emiko hesitantly spoke up. “What did you remember?”

Damian shrugged. “Nothing much. I just-“ he turned to his siblings, “Wait, why didn’t you guys inform me that we were all in the tower during the mission?”

Minutes seemed to pass and no one said anything. It was like everyone was waiting for someone to speak up.

Suddenly, Djinn pulled Damian out of the kitchen. “Come on.” she urged, “Why don’t we watch a movie or something.” leaning in, she whispered. “The atmosphere there was getting way too tense and awkward for my liking.”

Even though Damian knew she didn’t mean to make him feel bad, he still did.

If he just asked them that question in private then all of them wouldn’t be in such a bad mood.

Why did he have to ruin everything?

Damian sent her a fake smile, “You can pick what you wanna watch. I usually don’t waste my time watching foolish things.”

Djinn nodded, used to Damian’s cold demeanor, and picked a movie called ‘Legally Blonde’. “This one is a classic.” she informed him, “It’s a team favorite.”

Due to the fact that Damian was rarely invited to their “team” outings, he didn’t know that. But he didn’t want to ruin the comfortable atmosphere they were in so he only nodded, turning his focus on the huge screen.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize that everyone else joined them in the room.

As his eyes got heavier, Damian felt a warm blanket cover his body.

He noticed that Drake was sitting next to him, gesturing for Damian to rest his head on his shoulders.

The smile that Drake sent him when he complied made Damian’s stomach turn.

This happened before, his brain mentioned. And it didn’t turn out good.

Oh really? his heart asked. Then why don’t we remember it?

Because we can’t remember anything that happened! His brain snapped.

You heard what they said before. His heart kindly reminded him, They care. Why can’t we just give them a chance?

His brain seemed to scoff, sure. It sarcastically said, give them a chance. But don’t blame me when you regret it.

Just one chance. his heart firmly stated, ignoring the brain. Don’t we deserve it?

Damian wasn’t aware that he snuggled closer to his brother.

Just one.

For once in his life, Damian decided that maybe it was time for him to listen to his heart.

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