Haikyuu X Reader Smut - Tumblr Posts

Paring: Tsukishima x fem reader

Requested: no

Genre: smut

Warning(s): cheating, unprotected sex, degradation

Summary: just smut

Word count: 837

Other works

Beta reader: none

a/n: I would greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a moment to comment on this fic. As an author, I find great value in your feedback, as it allows me to better comprehend my readers, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so don't hesitate to talk about this fic or send me an ask.

[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, don’t fill the form otherwise]

Tsukishima knows you like him. He’s aware that given the chance, you’d let him take you to new heights, letting him make you see stars. I mean, he’s already experienced your passion firsthand, so there’s little to no one to stop him from seeking it again, except perhaps your boyfriend.

Now, don’t get him wrong. Tsukishima isn’t one to tolerate adultery, especially when one of his friends does it. But for you, he sure can bend some rules. It’s not as if he’s in love with you; no, you’re not the type of woman he could fall for. But that doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy the intense pleasure he feels when buried deep inside you, releasing all his pent-up frustrations.

He’s aware of the fact that you love your boyfriend to death, despite all his flaws. As a matter of fact, he also knows that your boyfriend loves you just as much. Who else would forgive a cheating bitch like you over and over, even after she says she would change? Could never be him, but it doesn’t matter to him at all. All he cares about is getting his dick wet, and as it seems, you are one of the best pussies in the city, so why should he not use you to your full potential?

“Does your simp of a boyfriend have any idea that you are getting your insides rearranged by me right now?” Tsukishima taunts, thrusting into you with such force that it leaves your mind reeling.

“N-no,” you stutter, your grip on his shoulders weakening under the intensity of his movements. With a swift motion, he flips you over on the bed, positioning you to his liking, and plunges back into your slick, eager flesh, continuing his relentless assault.

“Can’t fuck you like I can, now can he?” he mocks, feeling your pussy clenching his cock like never before.

“N-no,” you barely manage to answer, your mind going hazy with pleasure.

“Tell me, who fucks you this good, huh? Who fucks you so good that you are fine with cheating on your bitch of a boyfriend, you whore?”

“You, Tsuki- ah-,” you manage to utter, your words barely coherent as he hits spots inside you with a precision no other man has ever achieved.

“Yes, you cheating whore, scream my name. Let everyone know who fucks you better than your boyfriend,” he groans as he slaps you hard on your ass, making you scream even more.

“God, you’re squeezing me so tightly,” he groans, his member throbbing inside you as your walls tighten around him, creating a velvety ring at the base of his shaft.

The sound of intense skin slapping fills the room, mingling with your wild cries of pleasure, making him almost come to the edge.

“Creaming my cock so well like the slut you are, gosh you are one of the best pussies I have had,” he says gripping onto your neck to cut off your air supply, as your insides start spasming.

Sensing that you were about to come, the man immediately went to rub your clit, making your body tense up even more. Without warning, you spill out on his cock, milking both of your juices.

It doesn’t take Tsukishima much longer to spurt his load inside you. With some more thrusts, he empties himself fully inside you. Plopping beside you, he slips his soft dick out of you and scoops the mixture of both your cums leaking from your pussy and makes you lick it off his fingers, as you whine because of overstimulation.

After some time, he chirps up. “This will probably be the last time we fuck. Yamaguchi wanted to set me up with this girl, and I don’t want to do this while going out on dates with her.”

You look at him bewildered, “but what about us?”

“Huh?” he asks, clearly confused.

“About us, Tsuki, what will you do about the fact that I’m not with my boyfriend but you?” you ask.

“Maybe teach him how to fuck you for real. Also, if you think I would be in a relationship with you, you are wrong. You cheated on your boyfriend! I don’t want that shit in my life; I would very much like my partner to be loyal, unlike you,” giving you a look of disgust he continues.

“I fucked you because you are a good booty call, and are always available, but it’s time you get your shit together and stop involving me in your problems, plus it’s better if we don’t talk anymore. I don’t want my potential girlfriend to get insecure because of our past.”

With that, he collects his clothes and is out of the apartment in seconds, leaving you rethinking the decisions you had made and what exactly brought you to this place you are. What turned you into this cheating, lying woman, so much so that the boy you had called your best friend for the longest time ever, now looks at you with disgust.

The end

Paring: Daichi Sawamura x fem!reader

Requested: No

Genre: Smut

Warning(s): Somnophillia, cunnilingus.

Summary: Daichi is annoyed after practice, thankfully you look a bit too delectable today.

Word count: 650

Other works

Beta reader: None

a/n: I would greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a moment to comment on this fic. As an author, I find great value in your feedback, as it allows me to better comprehend my readers, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so don't hesitate to talk about this fic or send me an ask.

[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, don’t fill the form otherwise]

Daichi loves hearing you blabber as he rams into you with all his might. It's not always that he gets this horny and needy, but on the days he does, you are in for a ride—literally!

It started right after he got back from practice, extremely angry at himself for not being up to the mark and messing up the practice for the whole team.

The moment he came in, he immediately searched for you, only to find you asleep on the couch. It's not a rare sight to see you waiting for him, but those shorts paired with his tee were the breaking point for him.

You looked so beautiful lying there all pretty for him.

No matter how freaky you both were in bed, the topic of consent always took first place. So when he first heard you suggest trying somnophilia, he was a bit concerned, to say the least.

But the first time you both tried it, it was like heaven for him. So, the sight of you sleeping in shorts was too inviting for him to resist.

Immediately going towards you, he quickly removed your shorts and latched his mouth onto your cunt, hungrily lapping at it to create some wetness.

Your reaction was a bit slow, but he could slowly but surely hear the small moans emitting from you. Soon enough, you were awake, the feeling of his mouth on your now throbbing cunt too much for your sleep-induced brain to handle, so it woke you up.

Your moans immediately increased in volume, prompting Daichi to add a finger along with his his already attached mouth. Your hands soon found their place in his hair, pulling on it.

"Tastes so good I could die here," he says before continuing to abuse your pussy.

Within seconds, you are bursting onto him, squirting all over the man's face with a loud moan of his name. And being the man he subhe wastes not a drop of your precious cum lapping it all up like a starving man.

As Daichi emerges from your pussy, he gives you a look of extreme need. Within seconds, you are underneath him.

"Gonna fuck you so well," he says as he takes off his pants, letting his throbbing cock breathe. It's been almost five years since you and Daichi have been together, but the size of his cock still shocks you.

You used to wonder how it would fit, but from previous experience, you know it will. He immediately sinks into your puffy warm hole with a moan.

"How are you still so fucking tight? Did I not prep you enough?" he groans. Before you can respond, he starts moving, inducing moans after moans from you.

"So good Mura," you can barely form a sentence with how good he makes you feel. A ring of thick cream forming at the base of his cock due to the endless thrusting.

"Will fucking fill you up with my seed until your tits are all swollen with milk," he says while thrusting into you with all his might.

"Do you want that? My babies?" He rams into you like his life depends on it.

"Need, need your cum," you are just a blabbering mess at this point, barely able to form a sentence. The pleasure is so intense that it makes you almost cry. Soon, you reach your climax, cumming all over his dick, making him reach his peak too.

After a few loud moans, and a few "you milk my dick so well," you both calm down. He immediately moves over to hold you, making you rest your head on his chest.

"You want me to make us a warm bath?" he asks gently while rubbing your shoulder.

You nod, numb from all the lovemaking. Kissing your forehead, he immediately takes you to the bathroom to clean you up and get you ready for bed.

The End

a/n: thank you so much for reading, please don’t forget to leave a review

Oikawa Reacting to you Asking Him to Rail you | 1/46

Pairing: Tōru Oikawa x f!reader

Notes: So, as you can see on my masterlist for my texting series, under the incomplete chapters I didn’t have the parts down. I did that on purpose because long ago I decided I was going to make this chapter longer than just one little photo and I knew it’d take more than 2 for some. This was on my old blog and I’m using my old baseline for each of the chapter while still adding things on! Unlike my “Accidentally sending them a message meant for someone else” series, I changed the names for the boys in this series. I didn’t know before that it was quite so easy to change their names, so from now on, if there’s a chapter where you’re just friends, I will change the name to make it a bit more realistic 

With all of this being said, I will be doing this entire series in order of the characters who are in the normal texting series line-up. So, next will be Iwaizumi! I won’t rush these so that they can all be as great as I can make them. They won’t all make it to 10 chapters, maybe none of them will, but they will all be above 3 photos! 

In the future, I may do more series like this (especially if it is from my old blog because they were such long chapters), however for a normal reference I will keep my texting series with the parts and normal line-up, this is just a fun difference! 

If you want to see the other Haikyuu chapters I have done as well as catch up with this series as I post new parts, you can follow {this link} to my Haikyuu texting series masterlist!

Keep reading

You tell your friend that they, “Look like a bottom.” + “Submissive and breedable.”

GN!Reader ft. Bokuto, Kuroo, Ushijima.

Warnings: suggestive content, curse words.

Bokuto

Poor man chokes on water when the words left your mouth.

“A BOTTOM?!”

Holding back your snicker, you raise your brow, nodding; a serious expression on your face as you stare at the athlete right through his eyes.

“A BOTTOM?!“ He pauses, eyes widened in disbelief, "ME?! A bOTTOM!?”

He gasps, clearly offended. One brow raised, he jumps (almost spilling the glass of water in his hand) to you like a kid trying to pick a fight,

“LOOK AT ME IN THE EYE. DO I LOOK LIKE A BOTTOM?!”

You rub your ears, telling him that your eardrums are going to rupture with how loud he’s speaking,

“OKAY. Okay. Fine… BUT YOU DESERVE IT THOUGH? HOW- IN WHICH ANGLE AM I A BOTTOM? This is the worst thing you’ve said to me in 7 years, (Y/n). I’m hurt.”

He pouts, but there’s a playful glint in his eyes. He’s confident and he knows himself well. Far too well to understand that what you’d just said was completely false.

He played along anyway. You’ve been friends for seven years, but he wasn’t sure that you would want to know (do you?) about that part of him yet.

Yet.

"Well, you look submissive and breedable to me,” you joke, winking at Bokuto, which he replies with a raise of his brow,

“Mmhm,” He gulps the remaining water in his glass, “Surely this buff, tall volleyball player looks submissive and breedable,”

He grins, flexing his biceps as he stares down at you, “Suuuuuuurely.”

You squint your eyes, brows furrowed as you lean closer to his face, pretending to examine his features,

“Yeah, still looks like a bottom to me.”

“HEY! waIT- OI, THAT’S UNFAIR!”

Kuroo

…what did you just do?

Clearly, you don’t know the gravity of the situation…

Smug as hell. Squints his eyes as he stares you with a smirk before doing the tongue-in-cheek thing,

“Oh yeah? You think so?”

His voice literally dropped an octave. Why is the room suddenly so hot?

“Well, maybe i am. Maybe i’m not. You have to see for yourself.”

Your pride is on the line. Of course you’re not going to back out THAT easily. C'mon. It’s Kuroo we’re talking about, how many time do you wanna get bullied by this man?

So you went all out. With whatever is left of your confidence, you walk up to him, returns his smug smirk and tell him he looks submissive-

He didn’t expect that.

“Shit. You’re being bold today. Too bad you’re wrong though.”

“Well, you’re in denial.”

“Well, if you’re so adamant about me being submissive in bed, why not come and test it?”

His gaze meets yours. It’s a staring contest with tension, and you knew that whoever breaks it off first would lose,

But its Kuroo we’re talking about. The captain doesn’t even budge, his hand creeping up to your face. Strong, slightly calloused fingers cup your cheeks as he leans closer to you.

Your nose brushed with his.

And then….

He flicks your forehead. Hard.

“What did you expect, huh?”

Good luck. You’ll need it.

Ushijima

DO. NOT. SAY. THIS. TO. HIM.

WhY WOULD YOU DO IT????

He looks VERY confused. This 189.5 cm (6'2") man stares down at you like you just read hieroglyphs out loud.

His brow is furrowed. Guy is CONCENTRATING, like, he’s trying to remember if this was something important you told him in the past,

But whatever, they sound like compliments (and you always say nice things to him) so he just takes it as it is.

“Thank you. You also look, uhh, submissive and breedable today.”

LMFAOOAOAODKAKS

Now you ARE the one who’s taken aback. You’re lucky tendou isn’t around, or else…

“Toshi, do you know what submissive and breedable mean?”

“…should i be aware? It sounds nice.”

Do you feel bad yet?

“Well.. uhh..”

You seem confused to him. Why’d you even use those words if you don’t know what it means?

But it does have a nice ring to it though. He repeats the word in his head, typing it through his phone,

“Tendou is probably knowledgeable about this, wait a minute-”

“WAIT-”

Too late, really. Too late.

DING!

The reply came! Wow! Eyes skimming through the text, his brow gradually rises before he stares at you in silence.

“Tendou stated that it means you think i look like someone who likes being controlled during sexual activities.”

You freeze.

He SAID ALL OF THAT WITH a STRAIGHT FACE. WHILE STARING AT YOU. THROUGH YOUR SOul.

You shrug, telling him (while panicking internally) that its just a joke you read on twitter this morning. You wish you can get away with this?

No.

Tsk tsk.

“Good to know that it is a joke. Assuming about things you don’t know is rarely a good thing.”

He said that casually, but you knew he was slightly intrigued and perturbed by it. You swear you can see the corners of his lips quirk up a little,

“Now that i recognize its meaning, i know for sure that i could also say the same for you. You do look submissive and breedable.”

Good luck. You’ll need it. (2)

i. MAIN MENU

welcome to the cafe kacchan, fancy a sip? have a look at our lovely menu! we have plenty of delicious dishes;

customisation → you can request a new dish here!

soup of the day → cold showers, todoroki shouto

mailing list → aka the taglist you can find here!

allergies guide → all the stories are marked with a genre/warning; fluff, angst, humour, hurt/comfort, etc. the mature content can be found on the night menu. please, read these carefully before continuing further, i don’t want anyone to feel uncomfy and/or triggered.

all rights reserved ©️ cinnamonruts all fics belong to me, please do not copy, translate nor repost any of the content below.

「 i. barista bar 」

⤷ my hero acadamia

let’s get you started with a hot cup of whatever you want. these liquids have the potential to become a total snacc. there’s many to choose from, don’t just have one cup. help yourself to plenty more

「 ii. baking oven 」

⤷ haikyuu!!

moving onto to oven, huh? we got an amazing assortment of baked goods; be it something sweet, salty, or spicy. take a seat, have a sample

「 iii. ice cream machine 」

⤷ jujutsu kaisen ( full m. list coming when i have more fics up )

▸ serenade | getou suguru

⤷ where getou can not stop talking about the beautiful future sorcerer he shares his classes with

▸ spaghetti | inumaki toge

⤷ emotions are confusing and complicated. all tangled up like... well, spaghetti. you wanted to say out of sight, out of mind. but simply because he’s always doesn’t mean those feelings did too

▸ white day/ valentines day | multi!character

⤷ what they would plan for white day/ valentines

includes | itadori yuuji

「 iv. seating tables 」

⤷ tokyo revengers

coming VERY soon.

「 v. night menu 」

⤷ not save for work, mdni

coming one day.

「 vi. cafe events 」

i. kacchan week

⤷ from 19th till 25th of april

. simp rot

⤷ the tag i use as my little simp corner

. heart canon

⤷ # with all the headcanons ( which i call heart canon )

. brain dump

⤷ random brain dump things are here ( which is pretty straight forward but whatever :p )

. thirst

⤷ for my thirsting & to request your thirst heartcanons

iwaizumi brainrot hours 😩

MINORS DON'T INTERACT

You didn’t think that giving a flirtatious smile to your boyfriend on your way home from a party would land you in this situation.

But here you are, with Iwaizumi’s hips slamming into your own and your palms pressed against the car window, your moans filling the small space. His shirt is partially unbuttoned, tie loose around his neck as he fucks you senseless, groans spilling out of his lips at the sight of his cock disappearing into your dripping cunt, walls soft and clenching around his length.

“Ah, shit. You’re so pretty, y/n…” his calloused hands grip your waist tightly as he continues thrusting into you at a pace that has you practically drooling. He moves one of his hands up your back, tracing between your shoulder blades and knotting his fingers into your hair, tugging it slightly.

“R-right there…” You head is spinning and you can barely form coherent thoughts, the only thing on your mind is Iwaizumi, and how his cock is hitting that one spot inside of you that sends shockwaves of pleasure through your body.

“You gonna cum, pretty baby?” You can hear the strain is Iwa’s voice, and you nod your head, hands curling into fists against the window as you feel your high approaching. Every inch of your body feels like it’s lit up with a vibrating electricity, and you can barely remain upright as your orgasm hits you, legs shaking and sounds of pleasure leaving your lips.

“Fuck.” You feel Iwa’s load spill inside of you as his grip on your waist tightens. Leaning over, he kisses down your back as you both catch your breath.

“Hopefully no one was walking by at this hour.” He helps you back into your dress, cradling your form and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I doubt it, Iwa.” You lean into his touch, letting out a small sigh. “Not that you care, do you?”

“Not at all. People should see themselves as lucky if they even get a glimpse of you.” Taking your hand, he assists you in getting back into the front seat, and he starts the car.

“Let’s just go home. I’m exhausted.” Your eyes flutter shut and your head rests against the window, and you can’t help the sleep that overtakes you as Iwa drives you both back home.

YAMAGUCHI SMUT HC

⚠️NSFW WARING⚠️

(sry 4 bad grammar and/or spelling

-likes getting ridden

- into bdsm play if he's the one getting tied up

- doesn't like when it hurts he just likes getting restrained

- deff into vibrators

- whimpering and whining all the way

- likes blowjobs just so he can watch him cum slowly drip from your mouth

- mf has a degradation kink fr

- he deff likes phone sex if ur away somewhere

- he'd only do 😈😈the devils tango😈😈 in private places, he doesn't like stressing over getting caught

- he really cares if you're comfortable with doing it b4 he starts anything

- really calm if you insure that ur 100% sure you wat to do that with him

- gets embarrassed A LOT

- likes kisses

- very romantic

OKAY thxsm for reading this you haikyuu whores ;] see u guys next time! Also if you have any recommendations for me please let me know. ★

Iwaizumi x f!reader; cheater!Oikawa x f!reader

Word count: 6,4k

Category: Angst, Smut

Warnings: Cheating, cursing, sex, some choking, slapping and mentions of violence (reader basically asks to be hurt), daddy kink (not ddlg), scummy Oikawa being an asshole, kind of toxic Iwaizumi, uh, that’s about it? Dm me if I missed anything.

Summary: Having your heart broken by Oikawa Tooru is unexpectedly hard, but it’s even harder to let yourself fall for someone new.

Songs that inspired this: “Sparks” by Coldplay, “Song for a guilty sadist” by Crywank and “Skinny love” by Bon Iver 

Huge thanks to @velvet-kissesss for editing this and always being the first to read my stories! <3

Oikawa Tooru is like the sun. His smile is as bright as a summer day, his gaze as cold as ice, but he‘s still your sun. Or he used to be. Clouds of doubt that came in the form of suspicious text messages and excuses clouded his brightness and warmth that never really cleared away. 

He‘s busy busy busy. You‘re always wasting his time, you‘re always annoying him with your silly messages, asking- no, begging for his time; which you know you won‘t get. Your eyes and heart are completely filled with Tooru, your sun.

Even his friends notice the odd behaviour of their former captain yet they mask their concerns for your wellbeing with jokes and laughs once you stop showing up to their weekly dinners. 

The storm started when you overheard the conversation you weren‘t supposed to hear. It‘s a rare occasion to be home at the same time as Tooru, even in your shared apartment, your boyfriend so kindly paid for (You offered to pay rent, but even if he would‘ve accepted your offer, a broke college student would never be able to afford it). His voice sounded slightly annoyed, the notes barely there, but from the time you spent together you could clearly tell he was having an argument. 

“I’m not fooling around. I don’t know what to do,” 

You couldn’t tell what the argument was about, but you pressed yourself against the living room wall that divided the two rooms. Eavesdropping wasn’t good, but you were worried for Tooru. He was never home, never shared his worries and now he was getting into arguments. Your anxiety was rising. What if something was going on? 

“I’m not leading her on, you don’t know what you’re talking about! The only girl you’ve ever dated left you before college started. Adult relationships are so much harder,” 

There was only silence for a moment that seemed to stretch out into infinity. 

“I’m thinking about ending things. I think… I’m almost sure I’m falling out of love with her,”

Everything went silent until then the ringing in your ears took everything away. Your head was spinning, eyes unable to focus on anything, lungs suddenly filled with water and throat with sand. Empty. Empty, so painfully empty but full at the same time. You were the ‘her’ of the conversation. You were the girl Tooru was falling out of love with. 

You didn’t feel yourself falling onto your knees. You didn’t hear the loud thud, you didn’t even notice how cold the floor was until your silent bubble was popped by Tooru’s voice. 

“Shit, Y/N!”

His arm on your shoulder felt so heavy. Too heavy, the water filling your lungs seemed to spill out of your eyes, tears running down your face. Oikawa kneeled before you, pulling you into him, letting you bury your face into his sweatshirt that used to smell like your perfume but now smelled of something unfamiliar and unwelcoming, his hand in your hair stung colder than ice. 

He lets you cry, lets you grip him so hard, as if you think that letting go would be deadly and lets you whisper quiet “You don’t love me’s” until your throat becomes sore. 

“You heard everything,” it wasn’t a question, rather a statement. His hand reached your back, rubbing in gentle circles but it was anything but calming. You felt as if you couldn’t let go because as soon as you did, Tooru would disappear. Your sun would never shine anymore. 

“Don’t leave me, Tooru. Don’t leave me, please.”

His eyes watch your form, so defeated in his arms. 

“I won’t.”

You’ve been together for such a long time, you’ve been there through the highs and lows, always cheering him on, always there to greet him with a smile after a long, stressful day, always so willing to do anything to make him feel better even if your late night love-making ended in being unable to walk the next day and having to conceal the finger-shaped bruises left on your frail neck. Maybe it’s the stress of trying to balance college and volleyball. Maybe it’s the way seeing your face and feeling your gentle touch doesn’t put a smile on his face anymore. 

You at least deserve another chance. Another chance before he’s sure he fell out of love, even if he knows he has. 

“Y/N, I won’t leave you, I won’t,” he repeats like a mantra, like he wants his words to fill you full, like he wants you to believe it; even if he himself won’t. 

You don’t remember being carried to the bed, you don’t remember Tooru covering you in a soft, fluffy blanket but he’s still there when you wake up, with your back pressed against his chest, his long arms draped over you and his head resting against your shoulder. 

It's idle, it’s painfully normal that you can almost pretend nothing bad ever happened, that he still loves you the same way he did before. You can almost feel the brightness and warmth of the sun after being lost in the dark for so long.

The next few weeks go by fast and Oikawa keeps his promise. You never feel lonely, constant fancy dates that feel foreign after such a long time and the awkward smiles of his friends when he starts bringing you with him again. 

It almost feels too good to be true. And it is, as you learn when you return from your shitty part-time job earlier than usual. 

Don’t fly too close to the sun or you will burn. And you were burnt. Like Icarus, the wax of your wings melted and your false feelings of security you held onto are shattered into tiny pieces, never to be collected by anyone. 

He’s in the arms of another woman, another pair of lips is kissing away at his skin, tainting him, the sight making you dizzy when you can’t take your eyes off of their tangled bodies.

The woman notices you first, yelping and pulling the covers to save any dignity she has left. Oikawa can’t look up. He’s physically sick, any minute and he’ll throw up. Is he mad because you showed up early or is he disgusted by himself? The feelings mix into a dangerous combination and he’s unable to say anything. 

Only when you open your mouth do the apologies begin pouring out of his mouth, the girl beside him long forgotten as he climbs out of bed, pulls his sweatpants on and chases you into your shared bedroom. 

He catches your wrist and tries to tug you closer when you reach for anything you can. Your charger, a few clothing items and your favorite perfume he gifted you, tossed carelessly into a bag and all that’s left is the sorrow in your eyes.

He wants- no, he needs you to be mad, but as tears flow down his face he can’t help but shout at you, grab you by your shoulders and violently shake you until you plead to him to let you go, until there’s fear mixing in with the tears in your eyes. 

After he releases his iron grip, you storm off. All there’s left is the bruises starting to bloom on your skin and the voice of another woman. 

Oikawa throws up soon after that. 

***

Your phone is overwhelmed with notifications from missed calls and messages, but you run until your legs are sore and your lungs are burning. The bag in your hand is the only thing still grounding you to this world while your tears mix with the pouring rain as you fall on the cold, slimy sidewalk once again; your tights ripped and dirty. 

You reach for the door already shaking and even more pathetic-looking than before. The doorbell rings a silly melody and you consider walking away before you make a fool out of yourself, but you don’t have the time to re-think that decision when the door swings open, a slightly annoyed looking Iwaizumi standing before you.

His scowl drops as soon as he sees it’s you and his features form a worried expression when he takes in the state that you’re in. 

“Y/N, what- What the fuck happened?” he doesn’t wait for your answer, already ushering you inside as the warmth of his home seeps into your tired, frozen body. 

“I-“ 

He guides you to the living room immediately before turning up the heat and sitting you down on a couch, before sitting beside you.

You don’t dare look at him. 

“Y/N, tell me what happened.” 

He’s worried and you shrink into yourself, the feeling of guilt unbearable. You’re not worth the worry.

“Oikawa he…I found him having sex with another woman.” 

The words come out fast, like ripping off a band-aid. Iwaizumi frowns, his lips part in disbelief. Oikawa told him he was falling out of love with you, but… cheating on you in your own home was a whole ‘nother thing. 

Iwaizumi didn’t know if his face showed any obvious disgust or anger, but your hands started shaking. 

“Should I go?” your eyes find his, fluttering shut to hide the glossiness, “Iwaizumi, tell me if you need me to go. I know that Oikawa is your friend and that I’m just some girl he dated but I didn’t know where else to go, I didn’t know who else to call,” 

He can feel your uncertainty and stress so he does the first thing that comes to his mind; gently grabs your hands, flinching when he finds them ice-cold. 

“First of all, you’re not just some girl, I have known you since our third year of high school. I’m your friend as much as I’m Oikawa’s. And I won’t let you go anywhere, not in the state you’re in.” 

You stare at him in disbelief, hands still shaking. 

“Yeah, Iwa, we’re besties for life,“ your voice breaks as you try to make a joke. 

You can’t help but burst into tears again. Pathetic, fucking pathetic and annoying. Your thoughts run wild, trying to find a reason why Tooru did this to you.

Iwaizumi pulls you into a tight hug while you’re left with your arms awkwardly hanging limp by your sides, your tears and snot soiling his shirt. 

“Listen, you’re cold and your clothes are wet. How about you go take a shower while I make you something to eat? Then we can talk more about it, if you want to. But you will catch a cold staying in those wet clothes.”

The kindness is unexpected. You knew that the dark-haired man never lacked compassion, but he was so painfully kind. Too kind.

“Iwaizumi- It’s too much. I-“ 

He doesn’t let you finish, already letting you go to bring you a set of fluffy, fresh towels. 

“It’s what any friend would do. Please listen to me, I don’t want you to get sick. Please.”

There’s too much “please’s” in that sentence, but you do as he asks and let him guide you into the bathroom, pretending to listen when he tells you something about using any shampoo and shower gel you want.

And then he leaves you alone. Painfully alone again.

You undress, the wet clothes falling to the floor. Your biceps have handprints imprinted on them and you can’t stand to look at yourself anymore as you climb into the huge bathtub. 

The water is boiling and it feels like your skin is going to peel off as you trace patterns on your tired body, trying to burn Tooru’s touch away; but no water could ever be hotter than the sun. 

You don’t know how you find the strength to wash your hair, but the musky, citrusy smell of Iwaizumi’s shampoo untangles the knots in your hair, keeping your head empty. Or, as empty as it can be.

You don’t know how much time goes by but you’re sitting down with your back against the shower wall when a knock comes. 

“Y/N? I don’t want to bother you and you can take your time, but I went through your bag- I- I uh wanted to find you some clothes, didn’t mean to snoop around. But- Uh, but you don’t have any warmer clothes packed so I brought you some of mine. I’ll leave them by the door.” 

There’s no footsteps and you realize he’s waiting for an answer. Is he worried? Afraid you’ll drown yourself in his shower? A soft laugh slips past your lips. 

“Okay.” your voice sounds like it doesn’t belong to you; too distant and unrecognizable. 

The footsteps fade away and you decide to not feed into Iwa’s fears as you step out of the shower, drying yourself off. 

Wrapped in a towel, you open the door and grab the pile of clothes Iwa has left. There’s a pair of panties and a bra from your bag, then a pair of sweatpants and a huge hoodie you don’t recognize so they must be Iwaizumi’s.

Getting dressed feels like a chore. Your arms are heavy and your legs feel like they’re made out of wood. Iwaizumi’s clothes smell just like him, musky and citrusy, erasing the smell of sex that haunted you since you stormed out of your home.

The clothes fit you weirdly but you can’t complain, because they’re warm and comforting.

An aroma coming from the kitchen almost makes you dizzy again and you realize that you haven’t eaten today. 

“Sit down,” suggests Iwaizumi, as soon as you step into the kitchen, “I made ramen. It’s not anything fancy, but I didn’t do any grocery shopping recently. We, uh, I could order you take-out if you’d like that more?”

You hop onto one of the comfortable chairs and muster a smile. 

“Iwa, it’s fine, ramen is fine.”

That seems to calm his concerns, even if for a little bit. You eat in silence. He seems to observe you, blushing as soon as you catch his glance, but you don’t have the energy to ask him anything. 

You want to help him wash the dishes, the guilt of him being so kind and you not being able to do anything in return, but he just asks you to sit down, assuring that he’s got this.

He stands before you after putting the dishes away and once again grabs your hands. You don’t know if it’s to comfort you or because he doesn’t know what to do, but his hands are cold and unfamiliar; though his touch isn’t unpleasant or unwelcome. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You manage to shake your head, letting it fall into his chest. The position is awkward, but one of his hands almost automatically begins massaging your back in slow motions. 

“Ok, we will not then. Makki- uh, Makki said that you liked watching ‘Howl’s moving castle’?”

You lift your eyes, raising an eyebrow at the brunette’s statement. 

“Makki remembers stuff like that?”

Iwa lets out a dry laugh, as if trying to lighten the atmosphere. 

“He said you made him watch it with you twice.”

A ghost of a smile graces your lips. 

“No one else would, so Makki was my only option. It’s not like he didn’t enjoy it. I even heard him talking to Mattsun about it.”

It seems like your mind wanders off for a second. ‘Good’, Iwa thinks. 

“Do you want to watch it right now? I can bring you a blanket and like, snacks or something? Or you can go to sleep if you’re tired, I already made the bed.”

You’re lost in your thoughts for a moment and then your gaze meets the former vice-captain’s olive eyes again. 

“Can we um, can we actually watch ‘Jurassic park’ instead?” you ask, uncertain. 

“Yeah, of course we can,”

A good hour passes and you’re halfway into the movie, hidden almost completely under the warm blanket, when Iwaizumi turns his face away from the TV to focus it on you. His slightly chapped lips part, as if he couldn’t voice his thoughts. 

“Everything okay?” you ask, turning your attention away from the blood-thirsty dinosaurs chasing a group of people. 

“Why did you pick this movie?”

You feel heat flood your cheeks, palming the material of the blanket.

“It’s one of Tooru’s favorites. He likes watching dumb dinosaurs and even dumber people.”

Your answer is quiet, but Iwaizumi knew the answer even before the words left your mouth, he only needed you to confirm it. How does watching a movie that the ‘person who cheated on you’ liked could bring you comfort?

“I know it’s stupid and God, um, I probably look pathetic right now and all but,” you pause to take a deep breath, tears threatening to spill all over again, “If I watch it closely enough, I can almost convince myself that everything’s like before. That we’re watching a movie with you and Tooru and he just left to get a drink.”

Soft cries that you fail to silence leave your lips as Iwaizumi pulls you closer, not resisting enough to look at you so hurt and defeated. It’s probably weird to hug you as much as he did today, but you don’t seem to mind, burying your head into his shoulder and crying away. He’s not good with words;  the complete opposite of Oikawa, who makes small talk and comforting words look effortless. Physical comfort is his only way Iwauzumi can show that he truly cares. 

It’s a good half an hour before you’re asleep in his arms, the movie long-forgotten. Iwaizumi’s eyes take in your form. You poor thing, Iwa didn’t really know how to help you or take your pain away besides taking care of you the best he could. 

He reaches for his phone on the edge of the sofa, wanting to check the time and probably carry you to the bed but he finds tons of notifications still ongoing. They’re all either from Oikawa or the groupchat of the former third years. 

He doesn’t bother responding to Oikawa, opting to read the groupchat. He can’t care enough to read all the messages they’ve exchanged while he was gone so he scrolls a good bit. 

Shittykawa: fuck, you really don’t know where she is?

Makki: for the 10th time, we tried calling her friends. 

Makki: none of them know, how do you expect us to know?

Shittykawa: just fuck

Shittykawa: shit, this is so bad. What if something bad happened to her?

Mattsun: Yeah? Something like her boyfriend cheating on her?

Mattsun: Oh wait :D

Makki: mattsun, now’s not the time

Makki: oikawa you fucked up and I want to personally beat you up, but blowing up the groupchat won’t help you find Y/N

Makki: take a breather, calm down. I’m sure she just went to some friend we don’t know or something

Shittykawa: I’ll try calling her

Iwaizumi scowls, fingers typing out a fast response.

Iwa-chan!!: don’t

Matssun: Iwa? Wtf 

Iwa-chan!!: she’s at my place

Iwa-chan!!: she’s safe and asleep, just finished crying her eyes out

Shittykawa: what the actual fuck

Shittykawa: I’ve been calling fucking everyone and NOW you decide to tell me she’s at yours?

Makki: why is she at yours tho? 

Mattsun: Yeah, would’ve guessed she went to Mina’s or smth

Iwa-chan!!: well im her friend too so

Makki: yeah, it’s just weird

Mattsun: She also could’ve went to ours lol

Makki: good thing she’s at Iwa’s

Makki: I couldn’t handle another marathon of fucking studio Ghibli movies

Mattsun: Where’s Oikawa tho? 

Shittykawa: omw to Iwa’s

Iwa-chan!!: wtf no

Shittykawa: I’m taking her home

Mattsun: Yeah, probably not the best idea

Iwa-chan!!: she just fucking cried because of you, you think she wants to see you

Makki: you should give Y/N space, Oikawa

Makki: I doubt she wants to see you rn

Shittykawa: don’t care

Shittykawa: open the door Iwa

Iwa grunted, gently moving you away from his shoulder and slightly increasing the sound of the movie, not wanting to wake you up when the inevitable screaming match between him and Oikawa breaks out. 

Makki: wanna bet ¥1000 that Iwa at least slaps Oikawa?

Mattsun: Nah, I bet ¥2000 that they get into a screaming match and wake Y/N up 

Iwa puts his phone down, not bothering to read any more incoming messages and moving to open his door. He doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to look his best friend of so many years into eyes. Doesn’t dare wonder what will happen when you wake up and see Oikawa here.

Despite so many reasons to not open his door, his arm automatically reaches for the handle and swings it open. 

Oikawa stands there, looking like a ghost in the pale moonlight. His features seem blurry in the light, warm brown eyes now cold as ice. He pushes past Iwa, uninvited and slams the door shut, eyes searching for any sign of you, as if you’re just going to appear out of nowhere. One of Iwa’s hands clutches Oikawa’s shirt sleeve and holds it tight.

“She’s sleeping, don’t you dare go and fucking wake her up after the day she’s had,” grunts Iwa, dragging his best friend to the kitchen. Despite being there so many times before, today Oikawa seems out of place. 

“I’m taking her home,” states Oikawa, once again. 

“No, you’re not,” retorts the dark-haired man, “Sit the fuck down and let’s talk.”

Oikawa begrudgingly pulls out a chair and sits down. They’re looking at each other for a moment, not daring to break the silence. It almost feels like everything is okay, for a moment, like nothing happened, like it’s another quiet evening spent talking at Iwa’s house. If Oikawa concentrates hard enough he can almost imagine hearing your’s and Makki’s banter over the movie choice for tonight and Mattsun chuckling. Almost. 

“What the hell were you thinking? I thought everything was going okay,” Iwa tries to ask calmly, but the way he talks through his gritted teeth alarms Oikawa that they’re not about to have a quiet, calm conversation. 

“I wasn’t thinking. Y/N wasn’t meant to walk in.”

“So you planned to cheat on her and just go on with your life, God I-“ Iwa stops to take a deep breath. He knows he needs to keep himself level-headed but it’s so fucking hard, “When you told me that you’re falling out of love I was hoping everything would turn out okay. Even if not, I thought you’ll just break up with her, not… Not that,”

Oikawa looks lost. His eyes trace the coffee mugs on the table, then reach the colorful rag near the sink and then travel back to Iwaizumi. Hajime knows that his friend is looking just above his eyes, avoiding the judgemental gaze. 

“What am I supposed to do now?” the former captain’s voice is merely a whisper, the confidence it always carries gone. 

Iwa sees the way Oikawa is suffering, yet he cannot find it in himself to feel sorry for the former captain. The complete and utter selfishness of his actions; disgusting. 

“Get out and sleep it off. Let her rest, that’s the best you can do.” 

“I want to see her, to apologise, to-“

“Would you want to hear apologies from your partner, who you just caught cheating on you?” Oikawa’s face drops even more, if possible. A frown takes its place on his guilt-ridden features, a bunch of different thoughts making it hard to focus.

“I fucked up- I,” Oikawa’s searching for words, but can’t seem to find any, “There’s no coming back from this, is there?”

Iwa looks up. Seeing Oikawa in so much pain almost makes him physically ill. He feels conflicted. He wants to comfort his best friend, tell him that everything will be okay, that this situation has a solution, but Iwaizumi has never been a good liar. The former vice-captain manages to nod and they sit in silence until there’s footsteps. 

Oikawa scrambles to stand up, already at the kitchen entrance before Hajime manages to catch him. It’s like their conversation flies out of Oikawa’s head — he’s trapping you in a tight hug, whispering promises and apologies, while you just helplessly stare at Iwa.

“Let me go, Oikawa,” you mutter, voice completely powerless and void of any emotion. The usage of his surname sends a shiver down Tooru’s spine. Small details begin to fall into place – your red, puffy eyes, the way you hold yourself like you just want to hide and the fact that you’re wearing his best friend’s clothes. You smell like Iwaizumi and that finally snaps Oikawa out of his trance. He lets you go, “If you have any respect left for me and my feelings, please leave”. 

You say the sentence with such exhaustion that it seems like it’s physically hard for you to speak. 

“I’m gonna leave, alright?” He leans a bit, so that you can look straight into his eyes. It seems like he has been crying too. You catch Iwaizumi’s gaze in your peripheral vision, “But please know that I’ll be waiting for you to come back, okay? 

Your eyes wander away and he abruptly grabs your shoulders. You notice Iwa tensing up. 

“I know you’re too smart to listen to my apologies, but please consider it, okay? I know you love me, Y/N, so think about it. I’ll come pick you up anytime, alright?” 

You manage a nod and just like that – Oikawa is gone, a quick goodbye to Iwaizumi and he’s out the door.  It hurts, hurts so fucking much. A moment of enlightenment then complete darkness again.

“Y/N…” Iwa is careful when he hugs you, like he’s afraid to hurt you. You step away so that you can look into his eyes. Dark green mixed with olive and brown tones seems to magically reel you in. You just want the pain to go away, even if for a moment. You’re so incredibly close to him and you can’t resist – your lips connect and you close your eyes. Iwaizumi doesn’t seem shocked, and even if he is, he instantly kisses you back. 

His lips are slightly chapped and his hands explore your body carefully – every move and touch thought through. 

He pulls away for a moment and your arms instantly reach to pull him closer, to go back to the state with no thoughts and problems – just pure passion, kisses filled with sadness and longing. 

“Do you really want this?” he murmurs, almost into your lips, “Do you really want me or am I just a temporary replacement you can imagine Oikawa’s face on?”

He can read people so well, even if it doesn’t seem so. There’s nothing else besides physical affection and a long-lasting friendship. You trust him, you trust him to take the pain away, to make you forget your sun. 

“I want you to take the pain away,” you answer him and your lips meet once again, “Please, Ha-ji-me,” you say his name in between kisses and Iwaizumi curses himself. 

He’s an awful person and an even worse friend – leading, no, dragging you into his icy cold bed, when he should be comforting you, kissing away at your neck and quickly undressing you instead of calling Oikawa to come up with a way to fix this mess. He can’t help it, he can’t help himself from marking your pretty tits up when he’s wanted you since third year in high school, since you were utterly and completely Oikawa’s. 

Having something so forbidden is exciting and Iwa knows that he can still back out, can still stay a good friend to Tooru, but why not just give him a taste of his own medicine? God, his moral compass is all fucked up. 

His fingers softly massage your clit until they dip lower, slowly and softly fingering you while his thumb plays with your clit. He swallows up your sweet moans and mewls within his mouth, kissing you roughly and full of passion.

“Good girl,” he mutters, leaving yet another mark on your neck, the possessive side of him enjoying the already visible bruises that litter your upper body. 

You whine when he thrusts particularly hard, hitting the spot that almost makes you instantly cream around his fingers.

“D-don’t be gentle, okay? I’m not gonna break,” you manage to say in between moans, “I want you to cause me physical pain, yeah? O-oh- so t-that I can forget why It’s hurting so much,”

Iwa’s brain seems empty. On one hand, he should be comforting you, not hurting you, but on the other hand, how can he say no when you look up at him, utter and complete sadness clouding your teary eyes, short pants slipping past your plush lips. 

“You want me to make it hurt?” he chuckles, one huge hand enclosing around your neck with the other still inside you, grinning when you lean into his cold hand’s touch, desperate to be ruined, “Okay, I’ll do that.”

Iwa’s not a sadist in bed, most of the time, but you asked him to make you forget. And to be honest, he really wants you to forget. How euphoric would it be if that fucked-out look would be reserved for him only? 

“A-ah, can I come, please?” you ask, hardly able to talk, pupils dilating, hands trembling and reaching to grab his snow-white sheets, looking for something to hold onto. 

“Good girl, such a good girl asking for permission,” he mumbles and your eyes light up, but then the hand on your neck squeezes harder and you’re left with your mouth agape, watching Iwaizumi’s delighted face as he fingers you into completion, “You have to ask nicely if you want to cum. What did you used to call Oikawa?

His fingers slow to an agonizing pace and you let out a groan in frustration. Iwa wonders if he’s crossed a line with his questions, but all his worries are calmed down, when your eyes sparkle with fresh tears and you manage to sob out a frantic “Please, daddy, please, can I cum?” as if you’re afraid the brunette will take away your pleasure. 

“Cum” he orders, high on the power you basically handed to him without any resistance. And then he watches you come undone on his fingers, your face filled with ecstasy as you keen and cream around his fingers.

Iwaizumi gives you a moment to get yourself together and breathe as he moves his hand away, but after that he’s expectantly shoving his fingers with your juices towards your face and beams when you suck his fingers clean; even without him asking. 

He strokes your cheek and pulls out his pulsing cock out of his boxers. He’s so impossibly hard and he just can’t wait to be in you, feeling the heat of your tight walls on his dick. 

You look down and your eyes become as wide as saucers – he’s no longer than Oikawa, but definitely thicker, oh you just know you’ll have trouble walking the next day. 

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, baby,” he chuckled, “Let daddy take care of you.”

There’s thoughts rattling through your head for a moment, but then you give in and nod – still not able to completely think after a mind-numbing orgasm. 

Iwaizumi lines himself up with your creaming hole and then pushes in. You mewl and keen, but he keeps going, swallowing all the noises with comforting kisses, knowing that If you’d really wanted him to stop, you would’ve told him so. Inch after inch and he’s finally bottomed out – your pelvises rubbing together. 

“I’m gonna move now, yeah? Pretty girl,” he can’t help but praise you – so pretty, all submissive and blissed-out just for him.

Iwaizumi’s thrusts are hard and fast – it seems like he wants to engrave the shape of his cock into your tight walls and his name into your fuzzy, pleasure-filled brain.

“Daddy-“ you whine, “So good, feels mmhm- feels so goo-good!” you scream, biting at his neck, making the brunette suck in a harsh breath. 

“Yeah? You’re gonna be my good girl after this, huh?”

You can’t focus your thoughts to answer – the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls, the way his muscles are flexing when he grabs your hips, the way he smells, the-

Iwaizumi slaps you. Not hard, but hard enough to get your attention and for pain to begin blooming in your cheek. 

“Daddy asked you a question. I expect you to answer, honey.” His green eyes are darkened with lust, pet name condescending. 

“Y-yeah, gonna be your good girl, daddy,” you pant, breath coming out in short puffs.

From your expression and the way you’re clenching down on him, he can feel that you’re close.

“You on birth control?” Iwa asks, not completely lost in pleasure, still able to think, but fuck is the thought of coming in you hot.

“Y-yeah,” you cry out, “Cum inside me, yo-you can cum inside me,”

That’s all it takes. His vision flashes, strong arms trembling and squeezing your hips even harder and then he paints your walls white. You come soon after – a little stimulation to the clit and you’re coming on his softening dick. 

You stay there for a few moments, both breathing and collecting yourselves. Iwa falls to your side, pulling you close to him, tucking your head under his chin, your hot breath tickling his neck.

“Thanks,” you manage to say, before blacking out. It seems like today’s events really tired you out. Hajime doesn’t mind. He could get used to this. Used to you in his bed, used to you being completely his. He couldn’t get used to the guilt though. He stays up, lost in thought, until first rays of liquid gold begin leaking through the curtains.

***

Iwaizumi picks up your things from your’s and Oikawa’s place. You’re miserable yet again – asking Iwaizumi to do it for you through hiccupping sobs. 

His best friend of many years has your bags ready, your shared apartment weirdly empty, cold and unwelcoming without your things. 

“So she’s really not coming back,” Oikawa mutters. He looks even more miserable than you; it’s fucking depressing and the guilt comes back stronger than ever. Fuck.

“Well you can’t blame Y/N. You cheated,” Iwa retorts, tone colder and harsher than he intended. 

“Yeah, that,” Tooru laughs, a noise so empty and pathetic that his best friend cringes, “Does she have a place to stay?” 

“She’s staying at mine’s” 

“You’re fucking, aren’t you?” Oikawa chuckled and Iwaizumi froze, “Figured. I have no reason to be mad at you, Iwa, but I fucking am. Still feels like… She’s mine, you know? And I really wanna fucking beat you up for touching what’s mine, but I’m not going to do that,”

Iwa nods. His best friend was always too good at reading people. Too good for his own good. 

“I’m going to Argentina soon. Got a good deal to play at in professional team while still being able to finish my studies,”

“That’s… That’s amazing Tooru,” Iwaizumi is excited for him – there were no doubts that he was going to make his dreams come true, but it’s like a weight has lifted off of Iwa’s shoulders; Oikawa is going to be miles away from you and you’re not going to fall back into the setter’s awaiting arms. 

“I know you’ll feel like she’s completely yours when I’m gone, but I’m not doing this for you. I want to change, to be a better person. A new country might help. But I won’t be gone from her life, yeah? I’m still her friend, even if it's a really shitty one. Time heals people, who knows what the future will bring.” Oikawa smiles and Iwaizumi’s heart beats in his chest. 

“If you want to get back with her someday-  I won’t- I won’t let you. Okay? Yeah, you have everything and she’s mine. You had your chance, Tooru,” Iwa is about to walk out, your bags in his hands, but there’s something stopping him. Right, “Text me when you’re there, tell me how you’re doing. Still want to know that you’re safe.”

“Will do,” Oikawa responds and the door to his apartment closes. It’s over.  

*** 

Iwaizumi blocks Oikawa’s number from calling you. The less you know the better. He’s away now and he doesn’t have time to call you. Everything is over and you’re happy with Iwaizumi. 

But when you press his hand against your neck harder and harder, the look in your eyes looks something close to a prayer, begging. He doesn‘t know if he should cry for himself or for you, because you‘re asking him to hurt you over and over again, harder and harder, for the physical pain to replace the everlasting ache in your heart; if even for a moment. You are completely and utterly Oikawa Tooru‘s and no matter how many  “I love you’s” you whisper into Iwaizumi’s neck on lonely and self-hatred filled nights, when the sun is replaced by the moon, he knows that you’ll never be his. That he’s never going to be your sun. He knows from the way your hands reach for your phone as soon as it rings, from the way your face drops when it’s not the voice you crave to hear, from seeing your eyes tear up when you’re looking at him, your head spinning from trying to imagine a different face instead of Iwaizumi’s. 

It's stupidly foolish of him to hope that he could ever be enough for you. That he could ever replace Oikawa, replace the man you compared to the sun. Iwaizumi was cold and bitter, the care and worry always masked by a scowl. Could he be your moon at least? Would you ever be satisfied with the coldness of the moon, when you once had the warmth of the sun? 

Iwaizumi doesn’t want you to answer the questions he never voices, the ones you have probably already answered hundreds of times in your head. 

All he can do is pull you closer and hope to be enough. The night is filled with sounds from the city that flow through the open window alongside the darkness. He can almost pretend he doesn’t feel the uneven rise of your chest, almost ignore the quiet sobs you try to hold in. 

Iwaizumi buries his face into your hair, the citrusy and musky smell of his shampoo filling his senses assuring him that he’s not in the wrong here. 

So why does it feel so bad to be selfish for once? To hold you in his arms like this, seeking to give you the comfort he knows you crave from another. 

Why does it feel so bad to keep you away from the sun?

Chapter one: Plunging back into the darkness

Word count: 3.7k

Category: hard angst, smut

Chapter warnings: a bit of smut, drugs, mentions of medicine and hospitals

Summary: There are three hot guys who want to be with you, however, there are a few problems along the way. One of them is a plug, another one wants to keep you all to himself and the third one - a med student who deals drugs on the side. Your main problem, though? You have a terminal illness that has a very low life expectancy. Spiraling down a dangerous path seems like a fun way to spend your last years.

Next chapter ->

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It‘s depressing. The walls are white and blank of any pictures, posters, drawings – anything. It‘s constant and monotonous, boring. The smell is always the same too – something old, disinfectant and cleanliness. It’s always dim, too. You like visitor days — the smell and mood in the hospital changes, then. You love it the most during the holidays though. It’s as if even people who hadn’t had visitors in a while suddenly have a line of people desperate to see them. The mix of perfumes, smell of the food that isn’t the bland kind the hospital provides and their natural body odor makes you sick most of the time, but your days are still a bit brighter. 

It’s just a bit before Halloween when Mattsun visits you again. You’re sitting in your bed in sweatpants and an Aoba Johsai hoodie, which you got from none other but the dark haired man standing right before you.  

“Hey,” he greets you, casual as always. Issei’s dressed in black baggy jeans with an oversized dark green hoodie, hair as messy as always – a bit longer than it was during high school – and countless rings adorning his long fingers. You notice he’s still wearing the one you’ve had gifted him for one of his birthdays – a dainty forget-me-not on a silver band, contrasting with the massive skulls and snakes on the other rings. 

“Hey, Mattsun,” you respond, a small smile finding its way to your face. The pastel yellow hospital room always seems a bit brighter when he’s around, even when he doesn’t fit into the room properly. His frame looks surprisingly big in this tiny room, which only contains a bed, one uncomfortable chair, a table beside it, a tiny closet and a small tv. He seems out of place in the dull establishment. 

“I’ve brought you a few things,” he finally says, sitting down beside you and taking off his backpack. Your eyebrow raises up. It’s not unusual for him to bring you snacks or books, but your intuition tells you that today it’s something different. 

You’re right. Issei pulls out a string of fairy lights, but instead of the round bulbs  it’s tiny jack-o-lanterns that should light up once you plug the lights in. And then he pulls out a fluffy black blanket with a bunch of small skeletons drawn all over it. 

“Thought your room could use a little bit of décor during the spooky season,” he grins, same as always and you can’t help but pull him into a hug. He knew you had a bunch of medical tests during Halloween and he couldn’t even take you out after — long work hours and all. This was his way of saying sorry, of apologizing for making you spend one of your favorite holidays alone. 

“Ah, Mattsun, thank you, these are amazing,” you lift up the blanket, admiring the happy little skeletons. He helps you put up the fairy lights and then you sit back down again. Today, you don’t really have the energy to go outside and walk around in the park around the hospital. Mattsun doesn’t really mind though, or at least he seems not to, absentmindedly playing with your hair as if curling and uncurling your strands was the most entertaining activity in the world. 

“Oikawa is throwing a Halloween party so him, Makki and Iwa probably won’t show up. I’m working and I’ll only be out when the visiting hours are over. You sure you don’t wanna invite over Lev or some other friend?” 

You boop his nose and give him a loop-sided smile, “Lev’s in New York right now. I’m fine with spending Halloween alone and I don’t want my friends to skip parties just ‘cause I’m lonely. Besides, I’ll probably be irritable after all the tests, anyways,”

Issei stays silent for a moment and then his eyes light up, as if he’s connected two dots in his head.

“The pretty medical student’s group is having rotations at the hospital during Halloween, right?” it seems like he couldn’t be more delighted as you bury your head in his shoulder, not wanting to see his self-satisfied smirk. 

“Maybe you’re right,” you grumble, “or maybe you’re wrong.”

He lifts up your face with one huge hand to squish your cheeks. His hand is scorching hot. It always surprises you. It’s like Issei’s body temperature is abnormally high.

“That’s why you didn’t seem down at all  when I told you I had work during Halloween!” Issei says, still too enthusiastic to have found out your big secret, “Y/N, you know you’ll be a real bitch if you replace me with that trust-fund pretty rich bitch boy, right? And that I get jealous easily?” He shakes your face, side to side, “Right?”

You turn your face to the left, then to the right until he lets you go, and then you stick your tongue out. 

“That was a whole lot of epithets to describe a person you don’t know,” you poke fun of him, as if you hadn’t found about a thousand ways to describe how handsome he was during long evenings spent with Issei, “Besides, I was grieved, you hear? Grieved and languished when I found out you were working during Halloween, but… The pretty trust-fund kid relieved my pain by like… 15 percent,”

“And you still haven’t talked to him…” Mattsun drawls, “You just watch him and then tell me how he’s so pretty and oh, how his bed-head looks so nice, but you haven’t said more than a “hello” to him,”

“I’ll talk to him, eventually. For now I just gotta look pretty and smart. Who knows, maybe he’ll talk to me first,” you retort and cross your arms.

“Or you could just talk to him,” Mattsun leans back until he’s basically laying down in your tiny bed, “I’m sure he steals glances at you too, not exactly a lot of attractive med students and you’re a bit above average.” He chuckles. 

“Hey!” you poke his side, hard and Issei grabs you by the waist and pulls you on top of him, making you giggle. 

“Okay, way above average. Some people might even say you’re attractive,” he raises his arms defensively and then puts them on the small of your back, rubbing gentle circles.

“Some people?” he nods, “But not you?”

“Maybe I do too,” he wonders, “But if I tell you, you’ll get all blushy, giggly and shit,” he kisses your nose, gently and you let out a sigh, “And I have work soon,” Issei gives you another kiss, this time on one of your cheeks. 

“So?” you ask, eyes all big and doe-like. It makes Issei give you a lopsided smile. 

“So, if you get all blushy and giggly,” he rolls over and now you’re trapped under him, looking up with lust-blown eyes,, “I’ll get hard and that’s not exactly a problem I can get rid of in five mins.”

You bite your bottom lip and lift your pelvis to grind against his growing erection. Issei lets out a grunt. 

Your relationship is weird. Occasionally you have sex, go on unofficial dates when you feel strong enough to, and all his friends know you’re off-limits. But you’re not official. And the wonderings as to why that is, find their way into your mind way too often. Friends with benefits? Yeah, sure, if friends with benefits are that emotionally attached to each other. 

Not today, not now though - you don’t let yourself wander off. You’re only focused on Mattsun’s lips kissing and nipping away at your neck. 

“Maybe I want you to get hard,” you whisper in his ear and give it a nip.

“You’re a minx, you know that?” he takes some skin in between his teeth and bites. Hard. 

“Ow, you asshole,” you swat at his chest, only causing him to chuckle, “That’ll leave a mark.”

Issei licks the bite mark he just left, as if that will make it better. 

“Yeah it better. Don’t need no pretty rich boys stealing away my girl,” and then he finally kisses you on the lips. He tastes the same as always – marlboro gold cigarettes and citrus flavored gum. Comfortingly familiar. 

“Your girl?” you question, in between kisses. Your whole body feels warm just at the name. You know you shouldn’t overthink it, but you can’t help it. It feels so good to be called his girl.

“Yeah, what about it?” he smirks and rewards you with another kiss on the lips, making you part yours and give him full access. Citrus floods your tastebuds and you moan into his mouth. 

One of his hands travels from your back and slowly reaches into your sweatpants, finding your panties - unsurprisingly - wet. 

His fingers circle around your clit and you break the kiss, your head leaning back and lips soundlessly parting from the sudden pleasure. 

Before you can give an answer to Issei’s previous question or let those few minutes before he has to leave turn into much more fun activities - there’s a knock on the door. 

Immediately, you’re off of him and on your feet. Mattsun sits up and then the door opens. 

A young nurse walks in, carrying a glass of water and a bunch of colorful pills. 

“Oh, sorry Y/N, didn’t know you’d have visitors. Matsukawa,” she acknowledges the man on your bed, having seen Issei enough times to recognize him, “Time for meds,” she puts them on the bedside table alongside with the water glass and you let out a sigh of relief. Pain was kicking your ass for the past hour.

She stares at you for a bit, her eyes focus on your neck and slightly widen. Your hand instinctively lifts up to cover the hickey Issei left.

She leaves without acknowledging it further. 

Matsukawa lets out a chuckle that slowly turns into a loud, uncontrollable laugh. 

“Now what are you laughing at?” you cock your head to the side, taking the pills and washing them down with big gulps of water. 

“Imagine if she hadn’t knocked.” 

“Then,” you’re on top of Issei again, “She would’ve seen way more than a hickey you left on me,” you giggle.

Issei grunts. 

“Babe, as much as I would like to stay there with you and explore,” his hand trails down, “More fun activities,” he softly kisses your nose and then boops it, “I gotta go to work- have an evening shift today,” 

“Yeah yeah, go make coffee for rich snobs,” you respond, finally standing up and letting Issei do the same.

He smoothed out his clothing, a confident grin finding its way to Mattsun’s face.

“What?”

“Admiring my work” 

You kick at him, but he catches your ankle just at the right time, squeezing it until you yelp and then he let’s go.

“Asshole,”

“Yeah yeah, you love me,” before you can debunk his statement, Issei is at the door, “Who knows, maybe one of those rich snobs,” he mocks you by making his voice higher, “Will be your pretty med student,” 

“Doubt it!” 

“I’ll tell you if a pretty snob with a bed-head comes in,” Issei retorts and he’s out the door before the slipper you’ve thrown can reach him. 

You sigh and fall back to your bed, curling into a ball. The pain is back and it seems that the meds didn’t really help. Well, at least you’ve managed to keep it together until Issei left. Good. 

***

Halloween comes quickly and the hospital empties. A lot of people go back home for the holiday and you’re thankful.

After all the medical tests you went through in the morning, you’re still grumpy and the silence is enjoyable, rather than eerie.

You’ve had an hour until med students came in for practice, but that passes quickly. 

You fix up your clothes, jumping into a pair of jeans that make your ass look great and a comfy sweater. Not overdressed, just pretty enough for the handsome med student.

Whose name you’ll ask. Well, if you gather enough courage, anyways. You can’t keep letting Mattsun tease you.

You’re out the door of your hospital room, notebook and pen in hands, head lifted up. A deep breath, reminding yourself that you deserve to be in the med student practice as much as others do. 

What they don’t know won’t hurt them. And as far as they’re concerned, you’re one of them and don’t spend half your time in the hospital as a patient.

Today you’re divided into smaller groups. You’re supposed to observe surgeries and take notes. You wonder what kind of surgery you’ll have to watch today. Skin graft ones are the worst and you pray that today, it’s not one of those. 

Your hopes are killed and buried 6 feet under, when you walk into the designated operating room. Of course it’s a fucking skin graft surgery. The man laying on the operating table has a nasty burn on his cheek. The skin is raised with a  leathery texture and is dark brown in colour. Third degree burns. 

Although, maybe fortune isn’t fully mocking you - the pretty med student is here, alongside a few others. His bed-head is wilder than ever before and bags under his eyes could put a raccoon to shame. 

You remember that you’re standing at the door and instantly move, not wanting to make it more awkward than it already was. Did he notice you staring? Hopefully not. 

You stand closer to him than other students. He glances down at you, golden brown eyes quizzically. You want to punch yourself. Thoughts running through your head wildly. Don’t look like a creep, Y/N fucking speak, damn it.

“You look like death. Do skin graft surgeries make you a bit sick too?” you manage to say, voice higher than intended.

The corners of his lips twitch up, “No, just a long night.” 

You raise one of your eyebrows up and he chuckles. 

“Not like that. Was helping a friend out. You, on the other hand, look like you just saw death.” 

Hah. A clever joke. You just called him death a second before. You open your mouth to answer, but then the surgeon walks into the room and you’re left without the satisfaction of a snarky comeback. 

“Okay, you guys already know what kind of surgery we’re doing today and if you don’t - get the fuck out of this room,” surgeon’s words earn a few laughs and his eyes crinkle in a smile, which is not visible beneath the mask, “Does anyone know what kind of grafts we’ll be using?” 

You know the answer. Time to leave a good impression on the trust-fund kid.

“You’ll be using full-thickness grafts,” you manage to respond and the surgeon nods.

“And why is that?”

“The burn is on the face of the patient, it’s not too big and, uh, full-thickness grafts tend to have a better cosmetic outcome than split-thickness grafts.” 

“That’s right,” the surgeon nods and the dark-haired guy leans down, to whisper directly into your ear,

“Smart and cute? Maybe practice won’t be so boring, after all.” 

Your cheeks burn and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to avoid the bright smile creeping its way onto your face.

“I have way more, um, good qualities than just being smart and cute.” you respond, not letting him get the upper hand in the situation. You still have to find out if he’s flirting or just teasing, though.

“I’d like to find out, those… Personality traits of yours,” he replies.

Yes, flirting, definitely flirting. Maybe, just maybe, Mattsun’s advice to talk to him wasn’t all that bad.

“I’m L/N Y/N,” you introduce yourself, putting your hand out for a handshake and for the sole purpose of finally putting a name to his face. 

“Kuroo Tetsuro,” he smiles and takes your hand into one of his huge ones. It’s surprisingly warm; comfortingly so.

One step further to getting to know the mysterious Kuroo Tetsuro. You’ll have to tell Issei about this

***

A week or so after Halloween, Lev takes you out. He has a week of vacation, so he uses it to get back to Tokyo and you two choose the best day to spend together, which is hard; taking into account that you’re a hospital patient and he’s busy with his modelling job. Yet somehow, you manage. 

“How’s your health?” he asks, tone reminding you of your mom. He has your hand in his and you’re thankful. Your energy is quite low today so the support tall man provides is helpful. Lev’s green eyes study you, as if that would help him find all the answers he sought. 

“Can we not talk about hospital stuff when we’re out? I wanna enjoy my time with you.” 

Lev lets out an awkward chuckle, his free hand finding its way to his platinum hair.

“Sure, sure,” he says and pats your head, “I’m glad to see you. Really missed you.” 

“Aw, Lev, I missed you too,” you say, voice sweet and a smile playing on your lips, “I saw your most recent photos on Instagram. Almost one million likes? People must love you!”

He shrugs, “They just love my face. The few interviews I’ve done aren’t nearly as popular as my photos.” 

You can’t help but laugh, “Don’t complain. Not a lot of us can make money off of our faces alone!” 

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Lev answers, absentmindedly and then suddenly lights up, “Hey! How’s it going with that handsome med student? Don’t tell me you still haven’t talked to him.” 

“I have actually!” Lev’s facial expression turned to surprise, “Oh, don’t be so shocked. I even asked him for his name!” 

“And?”

“And what?” you cock your head to the side, a bit confused.

“What’s his name, dumbass?” he gently flicks your forehead and you frown,

“Oh! Oh, it’s Kuroo Tetsuro.”

Lev suddenly stops and fully turns to you.

“Kuroo? Black hair, kinda tall, always with a bed-head?”

“I- Yeah. Also, not kinda tall-“

“Shorter than me,” Lev interrupts and before you can respond that everyone is shorter than him, he continues, “He was the captain of my high school volleyball team, a really good guy actually, surprising, since you usually like assholes.” 

Lev doesn’t like Mattsun; Mattsun doesn’t like Lev. Silly conflicts from high school and such. Before you can argue that Issei is, in fact, not an asshole, Lev turns to you, face painted with worry.

“Listen, I can’t talk from experience since I haven’t seen him since he, uh, graduated, but I’ve heard he’s doing some real  shady business now.” 

“But he’s a med student,” you frown.

“Yeah, being a med student doesn’t really make you immune to doing shady things,”

“Maybe- maybe they’re just rumours,” you reckon and Lev shakes his head. It’s unusual for him to be so serious.

You’re going past a run-down skate park when he looks around and quickens his step, almost dragging you with him.

“Ah, Lev, I can’t go that fast. Why are you-“

The tall man’s eyes are focused on a person, who’s leaving the skate park and coming straight towards you.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he says, not slowing down, “See that man over there? Suna Rintarou. I really, really don’t want to deal with him right now.” 

“Okay,” you say, in between breaths, “Okay.”

Lev is calculated and cold, but you’re beginning to panic. What could be so bad about meeting Lev’s acquaintance?

Well, you’re about to find out because the tall man, Suna, you remember, catches up to you. 

Lev stops in his tracks, stepping in front of you; his height almost covering you.

“What do you want, Suna?”

The man clad in worn-down blue jeans and a bomber jacket full of patches, smirks. There’s a cigarette, hanging from his lips. No, not a cigarette. A blunt. If you had more time to collect your thoughts, you’d even say he’s stupidly handsome.

“What? I can’t say hello to my old friend? Didn’t you miss me, Lev?'' His voice, saccharine as can be, cuts through the tension like a sharp knife. 

“No, not even a bit,” Lev answers, voice cold and devoid of any emotion.

“I need a favour.” Suna says, not waltzing around with words.

“No.”

“Not even gonna listen to what favour I want to ask for?”

“No,” Lev answers once again, firmly. His hand finds yours once again and squeezes, hard, “Frankly, we should keep going.” 

“Ah, don’t be like that. Hey! Maybe your friend will help. What do you say, sweetheart?”

The pet name sounded so condescending, but it’s in your nature to help people. Too kind, as Lev often said.

“No-“ Lev begins and at the same time you answer:

“Y-yeah?” You can’t help but stutter. God, where is your voice when you need it the most? You stand beside Lev now, not hiding anymore.

Suna takes in your appearance, humming in thought.

He grabs your glove-clad hand and before you can answer, yanks you towards him. You almost trip and Lev is about to rip Suna’s head off when the black-haired man unbuttons two buttons of your coat and puts something inside your inner pocket. One of his hands brush against your skin and it’s ice cold. You shiver and take a step back from him. Lev is seething. 

“They’re doing a raid. And I’ve already been caught a couple of times. Can’t do jail time. And who’s gonna think such a sweet looking girl has drugs? Nah, man.”

Drugs. You have drugs in your inner pocket.

Lev pulls you close to him and is about to take the baggie out of your pocket and tell Suna to shove it up his ass, when the distinct figure of a police officer begins walking closer to you. 

You blanch, legs feeling like jelly.

“Right on time,” Suna drawls as he smiles down at you.

The police officer gets closer with each passing breath. 

You’re screwed. 

Summary: There are three hot guys who want to be with you, however, there are a few problems along the way. One of them is a plug, another one wants to keep you all to himself and the third one - a med student who deals drugs on the side. Your main problem, though? You have a terminal illness that has a very low life expectancy. Spiraling down a dangerous path seems like a fun way to spend your last years.

Category: Hard angst, smut

Series warnings: major character death, hospitals, terminal illness, drugs and dealing of drugs, alcohol and consumption of alcohol, smoking, detailed smut daddy kink, choking. (Will add more as series progresses). 

What to know about the series: Reader has an unknown terminal illness so she stays at the hospital most of the time. Kuroo and Mattsun are 22, reader and Suna are 21. Action takes place in Tokyo, though reader attended Aoba Johsai before moving. Series contains unrealistic portrayal of the hospital, terminal illnesses and drugs. 

Issei Matsukawa: 3rd year mortuary science student. Friends with benefits relationship that you and him have going on sure is sweet and hearing him call you “my girl” makes you melt, but why is he so hesitant to actually date you?

Tetsuro Kuroo: 3rd year med student who has medical practice at your hospital. He’s the perfect guy - sweet, caring and charismatic, but can he keep you away from the drug dealing business he’s so deeply involved with?

Rintaro Suna: A drug dealing skater with an addicting personality. You always crave his attention and love the fact that he doesn’t treat you as if you’re made out of glass. But won’t being with Suna lead you down a dark path?

Lev Haiba: Your best friend since as long as you can remember. Currently working on a sweet modelling job in New York. Yet, no matter how much he trusts you, Lev can’t seem to tell you why he doesn’t trust Kuroo and Suna and wants them as far away from you as possible. 

Tooru Oikawa: Your ex boyfriend. You ended the relationship after learning that he cheated, but after a few years, you two are on good terms. Your problem with him? He doesn’t like any of the guys you fancy. 

Keiji Akaashi: Old friend who you used to work with, when you were in your 1st year of college and currently - journalism student and Suna’s roomate. He seems to like Suna, but somehow still wants to keep you away from him.

Chapter one “Plunging back into the darkness”

Chapter two “The soul in my heart's proof of life”

Chapter three: “Lock your doors”

Word count: 3.2k

Caregory: angst, smut

Warnings: depression, depressed reader, toxic relationships, someone needed to be an asshole in this so Tsukki is, kind of toxic Akaashi too, smoking, choking, cigarette burns.

Summary: Akaashi is always there to put you back together, granting your every wish. Even when you leave him without any message and disappear for two months. You could say that he has a soft spot for you

City of stars, are you shining just for him tonight? That’s what Akaashi is wondering. The stars are surprisingly bright tonight, as if knowing that now is when he needs their comfort the most.

Akaashi is mindlessly watching some stupid, mind-numbing late night program on his tv, trying to forget about the manga he has to finish editing until next week and… Other things.

The half-smoked mint cigarette hangs from his lips as the man lets out a sigh. He’s not anxious. Therapy and maturing has helped him calm his overthinking and anxieties a bit. He’s good at his job; he’ll manage to meet the deadline. However, other things cloud his mind and he’s not as good with that as he is at his job.

Akaashi’s phone, which was carelessly left somewhere in the kitchen, rings. He inhales the final breath of minty smoke and puts out the cigarette on the heart-shaped ashtray you had gifted him a long time ago. Akaashi finally stood up, lazily strolling to the kitchen, the light of his phone lighting up the big room in dim blue light. He picks it up and swipes "accept" without looking at the contact name. Probably Bokuto, wanting to hangout soon. Or maybe his boss, reminding about his deadline, or…

Keiji freezes on the spot when he hears your voice. It’s so quiet and weak that he thinks one breath from him will take it all away and he’ll wake up from a dream.

"’Kaashi… Keiji… Keiji, It’s bad again," you whisper and his heart breaks in real time; the pieces left from the last time you broke it, shattering into even smaller ones. Two months without seeing you. Two months without hearing from you. Two months without smelling your perfume, without touching your skin and hearing your voice. Your laugh… Well, he hasn’t heard that eternal sound for even longer. Two months, eight weeks, fifty six days, one thousand three hundred forty four hours since you had left him for another man.

Tsukishima Kei swept you away alongside Akaashi’s will to do anything but work until he almost passed out. You ghosted everyone from your life, it wasn’t only Akaashi. Last thing anyone heard about you — your friend Dina told Bokuto that you moved in with a "tall, blonde man". And now there you were again. Alive and calling him. Asking him to make everything better like he always used to. To come and take the pain away, even just for a minute. It hurt to breathe but just hearing your voice made the shards left of his heart pull closer together. Some selfish part of him wanted to hang up. To tell you to go find Tsukishima and fuck off. His rational part was horrified, that thoughts like that would cross his mind. He didn’t particularly dislike Tsukishima during high school days, damn, even liked the guy, but he couldn’t forgive him for doing this. For sweeping you away from him.

"You at your old place?" Keiji manages to ask.

"Y-yeah," there’s a sniffle and something clutters to the floor. Fuck, thag can’t be good.

"Okay, darling, okay. I’ll be at your place real soon, yeah? Unlock the door for me, ‘kay?

He doesn’t wait for your answer. He’s slipping his shoes on, grabbing his long, black coat and dashing out the door. His body remembers the routine way more than he thought it would. Maybe all those moments Akaashi rushed to you after a single phone call asking him to come, did that to a person.

He didn’t have the time to think that through. He was in his car, speeding through the busy streets of the city just to get to you. The hope of seeing your face again numbed most of the pain —the loss of you caused.

He’s at your door in what seems like a minute. The door is already unlocked so he just walks in. The smell of your home fills his senses and it’s as if his head clears. Oh, how he missed this. His coat is now hung up, shoes put away and he’s stepping in the tiny living room. There’s a lump of colorful blankets and you’re somewhere underneath. A step away. Real and alive. Real, alive and breathing — wanting him to put you back together. To make you feel better, to make you feel like you’re alive once again.

“Y/N, darling, I’m here,” the words come out in the softest voice he can manage and your head lifts up. Your hair’s a mess, eyes empty and dull. He can’t stand to see you like this, pain searing through his whole body. Some fucked up part of him is glad to see how much you need him though.

“Keiji, need you,” you whimper, “Want you to fuck the sadness out of me.”

It’s how it always went. Like a dance you both knew the steps to, perfectly well — he comes over, you guys fuck, he bruises you up a bit since you always beg him so prettily and then he’s there to pick up the pieces — listen to your ranting, asking you if you’ve been keeping up with drinking your meds and making sure you have something to eat.

He’s always there. And he would always be, no matter how much it hurt him to.

He takes a careful step towards you, lifting you up from your fluffy hiding place. You’re in his lap not even a moment later, head too heavy to hold, buried in his neck. You give it a little peck and his whole body burns. It’s like he’s some junkie going through withdrawal and your touch is the drug he so desperately craves. He’s turning his face towards your’s, slightly chapped lips kissing away at every millimeter of skin he can reach. It’s messy, it’s passionate and Akaashi doesn’t even notice the tears freely flowing down his face. A shuddering breath leaves his lips. Oh, how much he needed this.

“Keiji, need you, please,” you sigh in between kisses, one hand pawing at his pant-clad crotch. You have trouble keeping yourself up, but the need to be fucked until your brain is unable to make coherent thoughts makes the task easier.

“Yeah, yeah, need you too, pretty girl. Need to touch you,” he moans when he takes off your huge hoodie and sees that you’re not wearing anything underneath, nipples perking up at the temperature of the room. Akaashi’s hand, the one not holding onto you, paws at your breasts, squeezing until you gasp. Is it fucked up that he wants to cause you pain? You asked for it everytime you asked Akaashi to fuck you, but now he craved that himself. He craved the teary look in your eyes, the way you hit his chest when it got a little too much.

After letting himself indulge for a few moments, he lays you down on the couch, climbing on top of you, gently helping you get out of your sleep shorts and simple black panties. Cute, real cute. Akaashi missed you so much he couldn’t put it into words.

“Spread your legs for me, pretty girl,” he murmured, your legs instantly parting. Good, you haven’t forgot how you’re supposed to act. Your hands almost naturally find their place on Akaashi’s shoulders and his fingers are reaching for your pussy almost instantly. One finger circling the clit, the other easing into your hole. Tight, still so fucking tight. Akaashi groaned.

Tsukishima couldn’t fuck you as well as he could, right?

Keiji didn’t let himself overthink it. This moment was about you two; there was no space for the ‘third one’.

His second finger bullies it’s way alongside the first one and a third one joins next. It takes a while to find the spongy spot he used to be so familiar with. It doesn’t take long before you’re coming undone, pushing away at his clothed, hard chest from the overstimulation of Akaashi helping you ride out your orgasm.He’s smiling. That self-satisfied grin you know so well.

“Please, take off your clothes, Keiji, it’s uncomfortable,” you squirm under his gunmetal gaze and he obeys.

A single raise of your hand and he’s doing everything you ask for. It was always this way. His clothes are discarded on the dirty floor, littered with bottles of water and empty chips packets. He’s back to his position, careful not to let any of his weight fall on you. You admire him. Those big, doe-like yet still dull like before, taking in every detail of his body; from his lean physique, to his shoulder-length wavy raven hair and lithe fingers, still soiled with your clear juices. Your cheeks burn at the sight.

Akaashi’s fingers come near your mouth and you obediently part your lips, eager to take what he provides. He knows better, after all. He knows how to fix you. You clean off his slender fingers and Akaashi can’t help it - cloud-grey eyes narrowing as he pushes his digits deeper, digging until you’re gagging and only letting up when tears light up your beautiful eyes. When he finally pulls them out, he absentmindedly wipes them off on your skin. You shiver at the warm sensation and close your eyes.

Keiji pulls out his dick and it’s as pretty as he is, not too long, nor too thick, but still a lot to take; beautiful, flushed tip already leaking precum when the black-haired man gives it a few strokes. Your mouth parts to let out long breaths.

“Everything okay, sweetheart?” he asks, voice calm and collected, the complete opposite of you right now.

“Yeah, just haven’t- haven’t been with you for so long,” you shiver. Akaashi can’t help but seethe, remembering that you were with another man. Two whole damn months.

He lines up his cock with your hole and just slams it in with one smooth motion. Everything is white for a moment, you’re unable to see from the pleasure-filled pain. His cock slammed into your cervix, but he’s nice enough to let you get used to his length. You keen, not sure what you want Akaashi to do right now when the veins adorning his dick create mind-numbing friction. One of Keiji’s hands ghosts your neck, gently squeezing it and his gaze softens when you lean into his touch, craving to be hurt.

“I’m gonna move, sweet girl,” he warns you, but doesn’t give you time to think of an answer — Keiji is slamming into your tiny pussy, letting his head lean back. He’s blissed by the pleasure, fucking his fist for two months just wasn’t the same. Not even close. Pretty moans leave Keiji’s perfect lips, no matter how much he tries to suppress them. You’re just laying there, taking it, eyes cloudy and half-lidded. Mind probably already numb. Silly little thing.

“Keiji… Keiji, love,” the pet name rings in his head, the huge hand still wrapped around your willing neck squeezes. Hard. The silver ring wrapped around one of his fingers digs into your soft skin. You’re killing him. Giving him just enough to let the hurtful memories flow. It doesn’t seem to bother you.

Face content and calm, “Can you, can you burn me, please?”

You’re as sweet as ever. As if nothing ever happened. As if he’s responsible for making you feel better. Fuck. He knows he is.

“Yeah? You want me to burn you? My girl is a little fucking masochist?” it’s easy to slip into his degrading persona. Akaashi knows how much you love that. You don’t crave praise. Don’t want to be called pretty, don’t want nice things. You want temporary pain, to forget the real one that might never really go away.

You dumbly nod at Akaashi’s words, mind not putting two and two together, his cock still pounding away at your pussy, uncaring of your own pleasure. Keiji pulls out and you whine, hands automatically reaching for him, as if he would ever leave, now that he got you back.

The tall man finds a pack of mint cigarettes, left in the pocket of his black jeans. There’s a tiny daisy embroidery on the pocket done by you a long time ago. When you still had the energy to do anything. When he didn’t have to beg you to live another damn day.

Cigarette finds its way to the man’s lips and he quickly lights it up. You sigh happily, when Keiji slides his cock back into you, finally letting his fingers massage your clit. You let out a shuddered moan, pleasure burning all thoughts away.

“Ah, you’re so good to me, Keiji. So good, ah,” and with a particularly harsh thrust, the pleasure building in your lower belly snaps and you’re coming, creaming around his lengthy cock and as white hot pain surges through your whole body. Akaashi presses the hot end of the cigarette between your perfect tits. You scream, in pain and in pleasure, mumbles of “please” and garbles of his name praying for something. Something to take the pain away? Something to hurt you more?

Akaashi gives into his temptations, taking a long drag of the smoke, marking up your tits a few more times, letting you grab his shoulders and pull him close, crying away at his firm chest.

“Thank you- ah! Thank you so much, Keiji,” you breathe out and that’s all it takes for him to finish.

Your whole body turns warm as your inner walls are painted white. You’re so full. And so obedient to him. What a good girl you still are. It’s as if nothing has changed. You’re Akaashi’s again and everything falls back into place. Everything is where it’s supposed to be. You’re - in Akaashi’s arms, and Tsukishima somewhere damn far away.

You lay like this for a while - Keiji’s body on top of yours, everything sweaty and sticky, still keeping his body weight from crashing down on your tired body. He dresses up and makes you take a bath then; washing your hair for you, using a comforting vanilla smell body wash to clean your limp body next.

He can’t help but admire the marks he’s left. It’s a sign that you’re his. And he is yours. Eternally, forever. And no one can change that. No one knows how to help you, like he does.

Keiji dresses you in comfortable clothes and helps you get onto the bed after changing the sheets before laying you down. Tch, he bet that Tsukishima let you lay in messy sheets, never once changing them. Akaashi scolds himself. So much for not overthinking, so much for maturing. He was as insecure as he was in his teenage years, just learned to mask it better.

You pull Akaashi towards you, stopping his thoughts. He complies, undressing until he’s in his shirt and boxers, laying down beside you and pulling you close to himself, holding your body tight.

“I want to talk to you,” you mumble, still turned away from him with your back to his chest.

“I’m listening, baby.”

"You wanted me to feel better and I… Didn’t particularly want to get better. I guess- I guess the sadness, rash mania-driven decisions and my dependency on others has become such a big part of me that I thought…I thought that I would be empty without it."

"You wouldn’t." he interrupts your rant, pulling your shaking hands into his, gently rubbing your knuckles in an attempt to calm you down a bit.

You lift up your face to catch his eyes. Akaashi is already looking, "What?"

"You wouldn’t be empty, Y/N. The girl I met at high school… You were happy back then. You were cheerful, a bit loud and could make anyone like you. And even if you," he gently turns you towards him and caresses your face when you want to look away in shame, "think that you’re beyond fixing, or empty without your illness, you’re just wrong. I still see those traits in you. How you’re still you in the way you cheer up your friends. How you’re still you when even the delivery drivers seem to instantly like you and how you’re still you in understanding that it’s not bad to ask for help when you need it."

You don’t answer him. Somewhere deep in your mind, you know Akaashi is right. You know that he isn’t just trying to fix you to his liking, you know he doesn’t want you for the sex, despite how many times Tsukishima made you believe that. You bury your face in Akaashi’s neck and let his warmth embrace your limp and tired body.

"He told me that you wanted to make me into the version of myself that you wanted," you confess, quietly murmuring the words against the skin of his neck and Akaashi’s hands embrace you tighter. He can’t get mad now, but damn is it hard to keep his composure, "Keiji, he told me that you only wanted to fuck me ‘cause girls like me were compliant and easy to fuck," words flow out freely as you finally let go all the pent up sadness, confusion and a web of lies that you’re still so deeply tangled in, "He- he told me that you stayed with me because I was easy to hurt and that guys like you- prefered girls like me. And he let me skip taking my medicine. He said it was my choice and that he’s not gonna make me be happy and how he liked me the way I was-“ your voice breaks. You can’t say any more words.

It takes all of Akaashi’s strength to not get and go to Tsukishima’s place. Beat him up until the fire under his skin no longer burned, until he felt satisfied with the results, until he knew that you were out of the reach of the blonde’s manipulations and him. Akaashi Keiji is not a violent man, but when he sees you more fragile and broken than you were before, just because of one man and his lies, he can’t help it.

“It’s not your fault.” Akaashi kisses your face, “I know you think it is, but it isn’t. We’re gonna get you back on your medicine and you’ll go to that- that therapist downtown that you said helped you, yeah? We’re gonna get through this together. I’m always with you. I’ll help you. And… I love you, Y/N,” the confession rings into the stuffy silence of the small bedroom and you freeze in his arms.

Your lifeless eyes reach the open window. Your apartment is on the highest floor with light pollution not quite reaching it. The stars are clearly visible. Hundreds of thousands of little lights scattered across the night sky. It’s beautiful.

"The sky is so beautiful tonight, Keiji…" your voice is barely above a whisper, "A graveyard of stars."

Yes, the stars must really be shining for him tonight. He falls asleep with the thought of brighter tomorrows and a better future.

Chapter two: The soul in my heart's proof of life

Word count: 2.8k

Category: hard angst, smut

Chapter warnings: drugs, mentions of medicine and hospitals, descriptions of drugs

Summary: There are three hot guys who want to be with you, however, there are a few problems along the way. One of them is a plug, another one wants to keep you all to himself and the third one - a med student who deals drugs on the side. Your main problem, though? You have a terminal illness that has a very low life expectancy. Spiraling down a dangerous path seems like a fun way to spend your last years.

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Series masterlist

"Right on time," Suna drawls as he smiles down at you.

The police officer gets closer with each passing breath. You’re screwed.

Or maybe not yet. The police officer is an older man – that much you can tell from the way his dark hair is peppered with gray streaks and the small wrinkles under his dark eyes. He’s smiling as he looks you up and down, making you feel plain dirty. You hated older men in power; gave them too much of an ego boost. Yet, you didn’t want to go down for drug charges so you batted your lashes and mustered your sweetest smile, while cursing yourself out in your mind.

"Hello there," he nods at you three, but his beady eyes are staring only at you.

"Hello officer," greets Suna, the blunt hanging from his lips long gone and forgotten, "What brings you here today?"

The man chuckles. They’re familiar with each other. It’s the same man that caught Suna with drugs the first two times.

"You know the drill. Stand straight and spread your arms." Suna obeys and stands in the position the officer has requested. He’s calm. Of course he is - his drugs are in your coat pocket. The officer keeps shooting you glares and Lev wraps his long arm around your waist, pulling you into him. You let out a tiny sigh of relief. Lev won’t let anything bad happen to you.

When the officer is done patting Suna down, his brow quirks up, "You have nothing on you this time?"

"What can I say, officer, I’m a changed man. Accepted God as my saviour and et cetera."

"Yeah, don’t give me that shit," the man rolls his eyes and wraps his big coat around himself tighter. It seems that the temperature is dropping, "You guys with him?"

"Uh, yeah. We’re friends," Lev answers, with a smile as sweet as can be. The officer has to look up to see Lev’s face and it almost makes you laugh.

“So you deal drugs too?" the officer asks, half-heartedly.

Your nerves spike up, but Lev grips your side tighter and gives you a telling glare saying it’s a joke, relax.

You giggle and shake your head. "No, we usually don’t", you answer with your own joke, making the officer smile wider.

"Good, stay out of trouble. Don’t think it’s necessary to pat you down, although, I’d like to," he gives you a wink and you can almost hear Lev’s jaw clench, big hand squeezing your waist tighter. Suna and you exchange quick glances and he subtly shakes his head. Don’t give him attitude.

"Maybe some other time," a hundred watt smile is gifted from you to the creepy officer; you just hope that he finally fucks off.

"Yeah, maybe. Uh, you guys have a good day. Don’t make me catch ya with drugs again, Rintarou," with the last glance at you, the dark-haired man turns away from your little group and leaves.

An uncomfortable silence hangs over you and you have to wait until the man is far enough to not hear you.

"So, you’re on first name basis with a creepy officer?” Your panic that probably fried more nerves than humanly possible comes out in the form of a joke but before Suna can answer, Lev is letting you go and grabbing Suna’s jacket, almost pulling the man up from the ground with brute strength,

"You motherfucker, you pull shit like that again and I’ll beat you to a fucking pulp."

"Lev-"

Lev briefly turns to you.

"This fuckhead just slipped a baggie of god knows what into your coat, don’t you dare give me that "everything’s okay" attitude, Y/N," Lev’s voice gets comically higher when he mimics your words and you purse your lips, shaking your head. The blonde knew you too damn well.

"Listen, Haiba, I don’t know why you have such a bad impression of me, but I fucking knew he wasn’t gonna pat her down, I wouldn’t put random people, especially pretty damn girls in unecessary danger, okay?"

Your face burns — It’s unbelievable how he manages to flirt when Lev is seconds from breaking his nose. You just silently observe with trembling hands. You never saw Lev like that. He was always this kind of dumb happy-go-lucky dude and just him raising his voice was unusual, not counting the threats he was spouting.

Though, thankfully, Lev doesn’t seem to catch the pretty remark, his handsome face scrunching up at Suna’s excuses. "Yeah, not putting people in unnecessary danger my ass. You do this again, you’re fucked," Lev repeats his words and pushes Suna away. The black-haired man stumbles but manages to keep his footing.

"Got it," Rintarou lifted up his arms as if he got caught doing something he shouldn’t. His tone is condescending and you feel like he doesn’t count on keeping his promise.

Lev reaches for you and you flinch. His big, forest-green eyes widen and he shakes his head.

"It’s okay, Y/N, it’s okay," he assures you.

"See, all your yelling scared her. We could’ve just talked it out like normal people."

Lev doesn’t acknowledge him.

"I’m sorry for screaming. Didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry," you nod, looking up at him, "Give me the bag and then we can go. I’ll make it up to you, yeah?"

You nod again and your fingers reach into the inner coat pocket, taking out a small baggie filled with white powder handing it to Lev, who then turns to Suna, just standing with his hands stuffed into his bomber jacket’s pockets. Lev examines the contents of the baggie and scowls and throws it at Suna, who catches it without any trouble, burying it in his jacket pocket carelessly.

"So you’re dealing Phencyclidine again?"

"Good eye," Rintarou nods, "I prefer the name ‘Angel Dust’, though. Sounds pretty, makes people wanna buy it," Suna explains unmindfully, as if he’s not currently discussing hard drugs.

"Figured you couldn’t last long on only selling weed. Though, even I thought you’d stop after the accident. Quite stupid of me." a frown finds it’s way unto Suna’s calm face and Lev grabs your hand, tugging you away. You’re even more confused than you were before and you give Suna one last look.

The man looks sorrowful, eyes far away and lost in thought. "T’was an accident, you know it" he mutters, as Lev finally pulls you away, not letting up until you reach a small coffee shop.

You let him drag you inside, the warmth instantly hitting you. Your head is spinning and legs are weak so Lev attentively sits you down, takes off your coat and scarf, orders two drinks — already knowing your order by heart — and sits down in front of you. You look around, head pounding, noticing that Lev has purposefully chosen a quiet corner booth for you two. He searches for something in his jeans pocket and slides a pill across the table. You manage to lift up an eyebrow, words a scramble in your head, unable to form into sentences. That was way too much stress for you to handle.

"Pain killers, will help you think straight and relieve the side effects of the stress you just went through." You trust him, sometimes, you trust him too much. You obediently swallow the tiny white pill, not needing any water to wash it off. You two drink your drinks in silence, only the quiet jazz music and snippets of other people’s conversations interrupting your quietude. Your head clears and your hands stop shaking so the pill seems to be working. Good.

"Ask away." Lev finally utters, eyes searching your face. You don’t know what he’s looking for and you probably don’t want to know.

"Why do you dislike Suna?" your tone is calm, mind a bit fuzzy from the pill you had just taken.

"He deals drugs and is a scumbag in general."

"What was the accident you mentioned, then?"

Lev shakes his head, pursing his plump lips, "Can’t tell you that, sorry."

"Why?" you feel like a detective and the questions in your head keep coming and coming.

"Made a promise?"

"To who?"

"Kuroo."

You freeze and raise your eyebrows up. It was like you had a bunch of different threads but no way to tie them together. You were really too exhausted to try and the questions you had in your head, the schemes on how to find out the whole plan were mangled all together and made your head pound.

"You really scared me out there. I’ve never ever saw you lash out like that." you confess, unable to look into his eyes, choosing to count colorful floor tiles instead. You never thought you’d be saying words like that to Lev, but you were always unable to lie to him.

"Again, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you it’s just that- He’s a bad man, Y/N. I lose my temper when I have to interact with him and the things that would’ve happened if the officer caught you with a bag of-"

"He didn’t" you cut Lev’s rant off, finally looking up.

"Y/N-"

"Listen," your voice is firm, "I’m not always this happy, kind person, yeah? It’s not gonna be all flowers and rainbows if real shit happens, but I can stand up for myself. We didn’t get caught and you got to scream at Suna. That’s it."

"But you could’ve-"

"Could’ve, yeah. I know that you want me to be mad, but I won’t. Spent too much damn time on that, let me be this ‘romanticised, rom-com fairytale, forgives-everything version’ of myself for these last few years." you spew completely random words and explanations as Lev’s eyes widen and one of his hands finds yours, lacing your fingers together and squeezing hard.

"Don’t even say that. You can be whatever you want to be, I won’t argue with you again, but never say anything about it being your last years."

You snort and Lev looks baffled.

"You see what stress does to me? Can’t even function without painkillers anymore and my muscles are still deteriorating at inhumane speed.. But sure, they're gonna find a cure real quick."

The man before you had sad confusion painted all over his perfect, magazine-worthy face.

"I don’t want to make you sad, Lev, I really don’t, but that’s the reality I’m dealing with and the reality that you’re gonna have to deal with."

"I know," he murmurs, face contorting "I just want to live in this rom-com fairytale reality for a bit longer."

You sigh and give him a tired smile.

"You’re my best friend Lev. You’re the only person I can be real with. You’re the only one who won’t turn away from me when I’m not this perfect, polished version of myself."

Lev gives you the same exhausted smile back, his throat thickens, "Yeah, I’m always there for you."

***

Suna comes back to his quiet tiny apartment and doesn’t even turn on the lights. Just kicks off his shoes, takes off his jacket, goes straight to his room and splays down on the creaky bed. Ideally, Suna would live alone, but rent in Tokyo, even in the worse parts of it, was expensive as fuck and his roomate, Akaashi Keiji, was a perfect person to share it with - quiet, cool and funny, not caring about all of the clients coming. Even now he was cooking something up in the kitchen, probably accompanied with a big cup of coffee, getting ready to work another long night.

There’s a knock on Suna’s door and he lets out a long sigh, "Yeah?"

Akaashi opens the door and looks Rintarou up and down, raising his eyebrows. "I, uh, made ramen. Left some for you on the stove,” Akaashi considers leaving the man alone knowing that he prefers to deal with problems alone, but Keiji’s gut is telling him to ask, "Everything okay with you?"

Suna sits up and just shakes his head. He doesn’t know what pushes him to confess everything. Maybe it’s a slight pang of guilt, or maybe it’s the pain he feels everytime he bottles his emotions up, "I- Ran into Lev when an officer was about to do a drug check on me. He was with this girl… Just slipped a bag of angel dust into her pocket. Knew they wouldn’t check her, yeah? But then Lev went fucking wild and shit and she looked really scared and stressed."

Akaashi fully opens the door and sits down on the dull, gray armchair. "Oh, Lev’s back in the city, then," Akaashi’s eyes widen a bit as he acknowledges the fact and stays silent for a bit, probably trying to make a mental note on it, "You usually don’t get bothered about what other people are feeling," he says, after a moment of silence.

Suna turns to Akaashi and shakes his head, long hair falling in front of his big, moss green eyes. "I don’t. But, man…" Suna groans, "She didn’t get mad at me and even tried to calm Lev down and shit. It was weird, I don’t know."

"Hm."

"Hm?"

Akaashi crosses and uncrosses his legs and then shakes his head, thoughts rattling in his head.

"I think you feel bad ‘cause she was nice and because of the events you caused, she got scared, no? It’s rare that people treat you right, unless they want to sleep with you or get a discount on drugs," He finally offers and Suna’s nonchalant expression changes into a shocked one.

"You could be a fucking psychiatrist, damn it."

Akaashi gives his roommate a small smile and stands up, stretching a bit, "Gonna go edit for a moment. Don’t forget to eat, Suna, yeah?"

Suna gives him a non-committal nod and lays back once again, mind wandering off. Lev’s last words really ingrained into his mind.

***

After Lev takes you back to the hospital, your next few days are filled with a bunch of new tests and a bunch of painkillers that make everything fuzzy; slipping in and out of sleep, only getting up to go to the toilet, eat, or spend a few hours watching tv or reading a book.

It’s easier this way. Doctors said that the stress you went through really damaged your state of health and no matter how much they asked for the source of the stress — you didn’t answer them, pretending that it was as much of a shock for you, as it was for them. Of course, it was temporary and you would be okay, or, as okay as you can be, in a few days. That meant skipping med practice, though.

You’re lying in bed, when your phone beeps. You grunt and pick it up. Maybe Issei had time to visit you, but if you remember correctly - he was working with no free days this week. Maybe Lev then? Akaashi?-

Your eyes almost pop out of your school when you see who texted you. You almost squeal with joy with the instagram notification. It’s a message from username “kuroo_t” and name “Kuroo T.”,. How official of him, you can’t help but let out an embarrassing girly giggle. Oh, he followed you too. Nice. Your finger lingers on the unopened message for a moment, until you finally press it.

Oh. Your face burns. He noticed you were gone, despite you guys only having one conversation. Now you just had to think of a good enough excuse, which was hard, considering the fact that you were currently fangirling. Hard.

He sees your message instantly and starts typing. You exit the chat, the need to stalk his profile way too strong.

Not a private account. His profile picture seems almost professionally taken, but his other pictures - not so much. Some travelling, photos with friends from med practice and if you schroll far down - stuff to do with high school volleyball. Oh, he’s hot. Not hotter than he is in real life, but still so damn attractive. You stop when you scroll to the picture of him with two other guys - one with spiky gray hair, carrying Kuroo in his arms like a baby and another one is just standing there, his gunmetal eyes staring at the camera disapprovingly, but his subtle smile says it all - he’s having fun too.

You couldn’t believe this coincidence. You and Kuroo had mutual friends, which meant that you were gonna do an interrogation on Akaashi, to learn everything interesting about him. A message pops up. Oh, your mind wandered off.

Maybe your mind-set of “you only live once” finally did you some favours, because now you had a date set with one of the hottest guys ever.

taglist: @heizenka @icelyn20 @strawbberyys​

sksk the last message from kuroo shouldn’t have the “and”, so let’s just pretend it’s not there 💀

Being their fwb smau (post time skip)

Category: smut, fluff, crack

Includes: Atsumu Miya, Kenma Kozume, Kiyoomi Sakusa, Tooru Oikawa, Issei Matsukawa, Rintaro Suna

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶

—𝔢𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔞𝔩 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢

iii. coincidence

suna rintaro x f!reader

genre: vampire au, reincarnation au, drama

cw: toxic!exboyfriend! osamu, miya atsumu, cheating, slow burn, slight angst? original character

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When morning came, you got ready for the day, heading to your morning class, dreading waking up. After taking notes and preparing for a short presentation, the day was generally light and not once did you think about the stranger from your dream. At least, not until you were on the subway, commuting to your job.

There was a man who was facing away from you, dark brown hair, tall, broad stature. Your heart began to race, thinking that by some miracle, you’d found him. Excitement bubbled up within you, causing you to take a step forward, tapping him on the shoulder. Expecting to see the same face turn around, you were surprised to see it was someone completely different.

“Oh, sorry– I thought you were someone else.” Now embarrassed, all you could do was keep your head down until you got to your stop.

Walking to the small cafe that sat between a bookstore and a small boutique, you took a deep breath, ready to start a day of work. Hearing the bell chime as you stepped in, you were greeted by your coworker, Alex’s grin.

“Hey,” they nodded as you slid behind the counter, heading to the back room to drop off your bag and to collect your apron. You hummed back a hello as Alex informed you of some worrying news. “Osamu came looking for you.”

You felt your eye twitch, “really? What did you say?”

“I told him you weren’t going to be in today, I could feel there was some weird tension with him, did the two of you break up?” They asked and you nodded, cringing at the circumstances of your split.

“I caught him with another girl,” you sighed, “there goes the last six months.” Alex gave you a sympathetic look, patting your shoulder for comfort.

“If it makes you feel any better, he gave me some really weird vibes,” they pointed out to which you nodded. It wasn’t the most reassuring thing, but it was better than nothing. “Plus you’re super hot, so I’m sure there’ll be more people in the future for you, right?”

You thought of Rintaro– which is what you decided to refer to him by until you learned his real name– and the magnetic presence even the memory of him seemed to elicit inside you. Nodding along with Alex, you got to work as customers began to pile in.

The afternoon slowly bled into evening and you said goodbye to Alex, as they said their goodbyes, telling you to get home safely. You nodded, waiting for the time to pass before you could lock up.

When the last customer finally left, you did just that, collecting your things and bracing yourself for the walk alone, you set off into the night. Walking alone was hard but you did everything you were supposed to do– whatever that meant. No earbuds, brightly lit places and of course, every woman’s favorite accessory: a small can of pepper spray.

Although commuting at night was oftentimes frightful, it was a good time to clear your head and think. Images of Osamu filled your mind, what would he have said to you if you had been at the cafe that morning? Beg for forgiveness? Probably, but then again he was the type to try and make you think the events leading to your break up never happened.

“Hey!” Speaking of the devil. You jumped at your ex’s voice, turning around with a sour look. “Yer coworker said ya wouldn’t be in– guess they were wrong.”

“Can you just get to the point, what are you doing still following me around?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest. You were angry that he’d even bother trying to talk to you again, and seeing his stupid face just reminded him of the heartache he recently put you through.

“I needed to talk to ya. Ya stormed out of there without letting me explain myself,” he said, narrowing his eyes.

“What’s there to explain, Samu?” You paused, trying to stop any tears from slipping past your face. “I walk into your apartment, and there’s another girl on the couch? You were practically right on top of her, too.”

“I think yer remembering things wrong, sweetheart.” He hissed, “and it wasn’t some random girl, she’s a family friend. Do ya really think I’d cheat on you?”

“I don’t know who you are anymore,” you replied with a small voice. You tried to keep walking but Osamu still wasn’t done. He probably wouldn’t have stopped until you came home with him.

“Ah c’mon doll, ya don’t really mean that.” He tried catching up with you and just before you turned the corner you stopped to look at him dead in the eye.

“I do mean that, and stop calling me all these pet names,” you scolded him, “I didn’t just break up with you because you cheated but because of how you were treating me those past couple weeks. You used to be so sweet and dotting but something snapped and you wouldn’t even bother to talk to me at the dinner table?”

“Work was stressful! Is that a crime all of a sudden? Sorry I wasn’t kissing the ground ya walk on twenty-four-seven!”

“See, you’re not even listening to what I’m saying!” You were at the point that you wanted to hit your head against a wall, or pull all your hair out, or even both. Yet, the tense atmosphere quickly shifted when someone interrupted your arguing.

“Is there a problem here?” You recognized that voice, you knew that voice. Snapping your head, it was the stranger. By chance, the two of you managed to run into one another. You lit up instantly when your brain finally scanned his features, and by the looks of it, he was surprised to see you too.

Then, you didn’t think all those people who’d claimed to see miracles were so stupid. Feeling his lighter in your back pocket, you knew this was some divine intervention or something, thanking the cosmos for bringing him to you.

“None of yer business, dude.” Osamu glared at him, slowly catching onto the fact that you seemed to recognize him. “What, ya know him or something?”

“We do know each other,” the other man breathed, “or at least briefly, we ran into each other the other night.”

“That’s right,” your voice had become light and airy, similar to that of a love-stuck puppy. “I didn’t catch your name?...” At that point, you’d tuned out your ex-boyfriend, finding yourself lured towards the stranger.

“Rintaro.” You could’ve gasped, feeling shivers run up and down your spin. The dream you had was right, but how could that be? You thought any color had drained from your face as he said that.

“Well then, tell Rintaro to mind his own business,” your ex hissed at you, trying to pull you away but you’d found a new confidence, shaking him off and turning towards the man you’d met the night before.

“No,” you said, “I told you we’re over, stop trying to convince me otherwise.” Osamu was flustered, but he knew he couldn’t start a fight with your new friend watching. He stared Rintaro in the eyes, noticing something off about him. They way the other man sized him up, a cold gaze sending shivers down his spine. But as he huffed out in frustration, he walked away without saying anything else.

“Sorry you had to see that,” you apologized to the tall man still standing there.

Suna shook his head, “don’t worry about it.”

Truth be told, he was more than glad he was led to you, mostly because he had finally figured out what tainted blood was. He was out on his nightly stalk when the overbearingly toxic fume led him right to you and your ex-boyfriend. More specifically, to him.

Everything he’d ever wanted was within his grasp for the first time in over a century. The thought of finally feeling the warmth of the sun again, a feeling he’d forgotten. Yet that was the last thing on his mind; he pictured growing old with you, to push the gray hair from your face and kiss all the wrinkles time had blessed you. For him, it would mean a life well lived and well loved, something that he always thought would be impossible.. It seemed like such an odd thing to want yet he craved it so bad. He could’ve shed tears of joy right then and there but he stopped himself.

“Would you like me to walk you home?” He watched as a twinkle sounded in your eye as you nodded.

“How about until we get to the subway?” You suggested and Suna nodded, explaining that he’d ride it with you too, just to make sure you get there safely.

“Thank you. I’d really appreciate that.” The man hummed in response and as you continued to walk, you mentioned something, “isn’t it such a coincidence that we managed to run into each other?” You managed a small laugh as Rintaro nodded again.

“Almost like we were fated to meet again,” he breathed out, seeing how you’d subconsciously taken a step closer to him. He couldn’t tell what you were thinking, but he would’ve paid anything to know what complexities were in your mind.

Suna wanted to know everything about you, he wanted to know about all the lovely things that you’d been through in your short human existence and he also wanted to hold you gently while you mentioned all the bad parts, too. He’d listen attentively like he once did in the past, playing with the tip of your hair, caressing your heated cheek.

Yet, the two of you didn’t go that deep and from what Rintaro could tell, it was only small talk that the two of you made. It was still nice, though, hearing your sweet voice asking where he worked, if he was studying anything at the moment, if he had family in the city. He was also delighted to hear how you talked about your own schooling, not to mention how you loved the cafe you were employed at.

The two of you hardly realized how quickly it took to get back to your apartment complex until you were finally there.

“This is me,” you sighed, sad to have to part ways. “Thanks for this, Rintaro. Honestly, it was like catching up with an old friend.”

He smiled sweetly, “I feel the same way.” You looked up into his eyes, feeling the energy he radiated and despite having to go, you didn’t want to. It was like two magnets that needed a great force in order to pull them apart.

“I should give you this.” You fished into your back pocket pulling out the lighter he let you use the other day, “before I forget.”

Suna opened his hands to expect it, catching his breath as your fingers graced against his, giving him a moment of your touch before you quickly pulled away. There was an almost heated look on your face as you nodded.

“I need to get going,” you explained, chewing on your tip. The man silently nodded. “I hope to see you soon, you should come by the cafe when you have time.”

“I’ll try my best to,” he promised, watching you walk through the doors, hypnotized by your movements. He didn’t move from his spot on the pavement, not until he saw you step into the elevator through the glass door.

Now, all he needed to do was figure out what to do about that ex-boyfriend of yours that contained the special blood he was looking for.

“I’m telling ya ‘Tsumu I know what I saw,” the man said in his native tongue, on the phone with his twin brother who was across the world.

“Yer telling me ya found ‘em in America? What is this, some blockbuster movie?” Reasonably, the twin was still a bit grumpy from the fact he’d been woken up so early on his day off. He silently cursed the time difference.

“Don’t get petty with me now,” Osamu replied, narrowing his eyes, not like his brother would see, though. “I got shivers when he looked at me, to the bone. Exactly what was in grandfather’s books– the pale skin, the glowing eyes, the broodiness?”

“Ain’t that just all Amercians?”

“Aw fuck off, ‘Tsumu,” he cursed. “I’m telling you, it’s the same vampire who killed our ancestor’s bride. I just know it. It’s some fucking sixth sense.”

“So whaddya gonna do about it?” The blond asked and Osamu sighed, leaning back on his bed.

“I’m gonna kill ‘em.”

taglist: @boosyboo9206 @rntrsuna @szna @chaotic-fangirl-blog @bisexualtragedy @heyitsmeyuhh @suhaaaefre @wolffmaiden @akashiyumi @softyutae @van-chii @alicesakusa @trashykei @ittybittywallflower @gojojang @jojowantstocry @thefairywalker @dazaisfavgf

© all work belongs to iwas-baby on tumblr, please do not plagiarize, repost or translate anywhere

—𝔢𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔞𝔩 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢

iv. my friend, rintaro

genre: vampire au, reincarnation au, drama

cw: fluff, comfort, alcohol, drunk reader, orginal characters, gentlemen rintaro lol

a/n: this is so so, so heavily unedited but i wanted to get the next chapter out for you guys.... even if it's just a bit of fluffy filler. but whatever right! but yes, i think there will be a bit of a delay on the next chapter too just cuz of how life is lol but i hope you guys enjoy this!!

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Three days had passed since your fateful meeting with Rintaro, and in those three days you hadn’t seen him once. You had only worked once as well, and it was a morning shift, wondering if that was why you never saw him. When you saw him last, you cursed yourself as you locked your apartment door, realizing you’d never given him your phone number, decreasing the odds that you’d ever see him again.

Yet, when you arrived for your first night shift in three days, Alex was there waiting for you, ready with interesting news.

“I think you have a stalker,” they said, with a bit of a dry laugh, trying not to freak you out. Raising your head to look at your coworker, you let them continue. “Some guy keeps coming in asking for you, I was kinda nervous it was Osamu related so I tried not to give that many details.”

“What did he look like?” You inquired, heart starting to skip a beat. If it wasn’t Rintaro, then you were in a lot of trouble.

Alex tapped their chin, recalling the details: “tall, taller than your ex. Light brown hair, it was styled a little oddly, very flowy you could say.” That must’ve been him. It was reassuring to know that he did want to see you again. Alex continued, “he had these piercing eyes y’know I don’t know how to describe them. He’s been coming every night and for what? Like the last three days, and every time I look at those eyes I get chills.”

You were practically too stunned to speak as Alex raised their eyebrow. “Should I, like, file a police report or something? Do you know this guy?”

“Yeah, I do.” You felt yourself getting stomach butterflies. “Well, not well at least– I only briefly met him but he’s a really good guy.”

“If you say so,” Alex chuckled lightly, “but maybe give him your phone number next time you see him, y’know so the two of you communicate normally.” It was almost as if they could read your mind, knowing that you were regretting not having done so earlier.

About half an hour passed and still no customers came in. Sometimes, on weekdays it was like this: a ghost town. Tapping your fingers against the counter top, you thought you were going to die of boredom with Alex reciprocating your feelings.

Listening to them groan about waiting to just close up early, you were about to agree when the bell chimed and someone walked in.

Following his similar patterns from the night before, your friend Rintaro standing there wearing a black overcoat, and an attire you could only sum up to Wall Street-esc while his hair was still as wild as the first night you met him.

The moment he looked up at you, you met his eyes and even though Alex had made it clear there was something off with his eyes, you couldn’t understand what they were talking about. His gaze was kind, and his lips slowly but surely tugged into a smile upon seeing you.

“Looks like Mr. Stalker is here,” Alex teasingly whispered into your ear. You nudged them playfully, leaning against the counter, widening your grin.

“Hey,” you breathed out.

“Hello.” Rintaro cleared his throat, “I’m glad to see you’re in today, I was looking for you since the last time we met.”

“Me too, I didn’t know when I’d see you again honestly,” you laughed, regretting the way you phrased it, not wanting to sound rude. “But I mean it’s okay, you’re here now.”

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to make you stressed.” But you quickly interrupted him, reminding him that it was alright.

“Can I get you anything? Maybe coffee or tea?” But Rintaro shook his head, insisting that he didn’t drink anything of the sort.

“I’ll have something sweet, though, whatever you recommend,” he said haphazardly looking at the display case of desserts. You nodded, mentioning you had just the thing.

Watching as Rintaro found a seat, running one pale hand over the other. He mindlessly stared out the window, waiting for you to bring him something. He hoped that you wouldn’t notice how nervous he felt.

The sound of a plate sliding against the table echoed through the empty cafe, catching the man’s attention as he looked at your beaming face. In front of him was a small slice of apple pie, the cinnamon smell filling the air between you.

“On the house,” you said smiling, eyes slowly trailing over to the empty chair in front of him.

“You can sit if you want,” Rintaro offered and you felt embarrassed that he caught you red handed. You explained that your shift was almost over, looking back to see Alex’s sign of approval as you made yourself comfortable.

“I was thinking about how stupid I was not asking you for your number,” you bring up, not wanting to directly ask for it, still feeling a little shy.

Shaking his head, Rintaro informed you, “it wouldn’t have been of any use, I don’t have a phone.” Taking a bit of the pie he hummed, not saying anything to follow up his previous statement. “This is really good, it’s been a while since I ate anything…. this sweet, of course.”

“Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a cellphone? Who our age doesn’t?” That question caught Rintaro by surprise, raising an eyebrow as he tried not to act suspicious, taking yet another fork-full of pie into his mouth.

He simply shrugged, trying to change the subject, “is your shift almost over?”

You looked at your watch about to say no, when Alex’s voice interjected. “She’s gonna leave early, I can manage the place on my own.” They winked at you, signaling that you should go with him.

“I’ve heard good things about a bar nearby, would you like to come with me? Maybe we can become better acquainted?”

“Sounds good.”

The bar was dimly lit and filled with a sad crowd, which was mostly middle aged men desperately not wanting to go home to their wives. Because of that there was a gloomy feeling but Rintaro surely made up for it, with a slight smile.

As the two of you ordered, asking all sorts of personal questions and if you knew any better, you would’ve thought it was a date. Sipping on the drink, you followed his inquiries with your own, asking Rintaro about his childhood. Although, his answers were always so cryptic.

“I haven’t really lived in one place long,” he explained.

“So you were a military kid, huh?” But Rintaro shook his head but as you looked at him in confusion he changed the motion into a nod.

“Something like that,” he said, changing his answer.

Drink after drink, you hadn’t realized how much you had until you looked at the clock and three hours had passed. Your legs felt wobbly, like you were about to fall over at any given moment, leaning your head against Rintaro. You were drunk, the first time in a while considering Osamu hated it when you went out to go clubbing with your friends.

“You should probably get home,” Rintaro pointed out as if it wasn’t obvious. He looked down at your pouting lips and droopy eyes, he had to take you home, he knew that but he couldn’t stop looking at you. Every time he blinked he could see your past life, in a similar position, his heart feeling a foreign swelling.

He paid for all your drinks without a second thought, putting his sturdy arm around your waist, letting you lean your weight onto him. He grunted, trying to get you to follow his steps but he realized that trying to get the attention of a drunk person was easier said than done. Yet, he knew your apartment was close enough that he would carry you if he needed to.

“This way,” he eased you gently and before he knew it, the two of you were outside your apartment building. Suna had to coax you to get your keys out and to punch in the apartment code which after a scary amount of failed attempts, you were finally let in.

“Tonight was so much fun,” your words were slurred as you nuzzled into the crook of his neck, smelling the expensive cologne he wore.

“I enjoyed it too, maybe we should do something similar but more formally, like as a date?” The last part of his statement was more of a whisper, scared that you were uncomfortable with getting into a relationship after just getting out of one. He also was praying that by tomorrow morning your memories of the night would be hazy and hard to remember.

“Yes, I want that,” you muttered, rubbing your eyes harshly, “I wanna go to bed,” you groaned. Rintaro nodded, promising that the two of you would be there as soon as the elevator rang, bringing the two of you to your destination.

“I just wanna sleep!” You exclaimed, trying to rip off your shirt. Your friends had always told you that you were a bit of a messy drunk but you never wanted to believe them. Nevertheless, you struggled to strip out of your clothes, not even bothering to acknowledge the fact that Rintaro was still inside your apartment.

Standing in the kitchen, you felt a hand on your back, reminding you that he was there. He suggested going into your bedroom and you hazily nodded, stumbling forward.

“May I help you with that?” Rintaro asked and you were in such a struggle, there was nothing else for you to do other than nod and accept his aid. He removed your shirt, leaving you in just a bra as you covered up.

“Okay now turn around.” You could feel the heat rising to your face, watching as he complied. You took out your pajama shirt, sliding off your bra before putting it on. “Okay you can look now.”

By then, you were wiggling out of your work pants, sitting down on the bed. You shivered as the cold air nipped your skin.

“You should get some rest,” he sat down next to you, seeing how cold you were, “perhaps underneath the bedding?”

“You talk so politely, y’know?” You drunkenly snickered, poking his thigh, “but I like it, I feel like an old timey princess.” Rintaro laughed softly, pulling back the duvet as you rolled yourself underneath the sheets.

“Well you deserve to be treated as such, no?” You only hummed with a content smile as just as Rintaro thought his work was done, he went to stand up, feeling you reach for his arm.

“No, don't go yet, please stay.”

Rintaro looked at you, not knowing what to say, he saw the way your eyes became glossy and he couldn’t say no. This was his chance to be the shoulder you cried on, to bring you comfort that he couldn’t in your past life. He hadn’t realized he’d been staring until he heard your quiet whimper, taking his cold hand into your own.

“Of course,” he said in a soft tone, his voice hushed. Laying down next to you, he tried to take it slow so as to not shake you too much as his weight made the bed dipped.

“I just don’t wanna be alone tonight, y’know?” The man wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to explain yourself, he wouldn’t mind staying until you fell asleep but before he could interject, you finished your thought. “I’ve just been having nightmares all week,” you frowned, “I just wanted to feel safe.”

Few times in his life did Rintaro get the feeling he did then: you felt safe around him? Yet he didn’t ponder on it long, reeling himself back into the other thing you mentioned.

“Nightmares, what sort of nightmares?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“Mmm, I don’t know, there’s a big fire, and you’re there too.” Rintaro could hardly make out your words as you drifted into sleep. He knew it was memories of a past life, and he cursed himself that only the painful ones returned and plagued your sleep. He silently wished you’d see all the better ones.

He didn’t have a chance to answer, seeing as you had quickly fallen into slumber. He contemplated leaving, he needed to get back to his own place before the sun rose, surely you would come to understand.

As he stood up, he pressed a kiss against your forehead, seeing how innocent you lay there, unknowing of the life you had been born into. “Sweet dreams,” he whispered, but it was more like a prayer. He would give you the world if you wanted, even more, he would fight against the nature of his being and lasso the sun if you asked.

taglist: @boosyboo9206 @rntrsuna @szna @chaotic-fangirl-blog @bisexualtragedy @heyitsmeyuhh @suhaaaefre @wolffmaiden @akashiyumi @softyutae @van-chii @alicesakusa @trashykei @ittybittywallflower @gojojang @jojowantstocry @thefairywalker @dazaisfavgf @mshitachin

© all work belongs to iwas-baby on tumblr, please do not plagiarize, repost or translate anywhere

he's a pirate

pairing: pirate captain!atsumu x fem!reader

wc: 2.8k

warnings: nsfw, porn with some plot, wax play, impact play, degradation, dom!atsumu, sub!reader, general threats of violence, a sprinkle of authority kink, reader is choked once, fluffy ending

a/n: for the love of FUCK this is not accurate or realistic wax play. please do NOT pour wax from random ass candles on any part of your body thank u

Isn’t this just perfect, you had to get caught didn’t you, you chastise yourself. 

“Unhand me at once you pathetic, filthy pirate!” you screech at the wretched man holding your arms.

“You say pirate like it's a bad thing.” 

You stop thrashing, directing your attention up to the quarter deck. There stands a tall young man with tufts of blonde hair sticking out from under his preposterous hat. He looks down at you and an amused smirk tugs at his lips. “We’re not all that bad.”

The man holding you shoves you down to the floor. You barely keep yourself from falling face first onto the deck.

You glare up at him, flipping your hair out of your face, “I’ll kill you.” you spit.

The man laughs. “We both know you’re not capable of killin’ me, love.” He walks up to the railing, leaning against it. “I’m much too handsome.”

“Give me a break.” you huff. 

“We caught ‘er tryin’ to steal some of our supplies, capn’.”

“Oh? You’ve got some nerve sweetheart,” he chuckles darkly. The blonde makes his way around the railing and down the steps. You watch him carefully, trying to guess what he is playing at. 

He stands before you, and unsheaths his sword. His expression is unreadable as he fits the tip of the blade beneath your chin, tilting your head up to meet his eyes. You clench your jaw, trying to keep yourself from saying something idiotic. 

“Do you know how I punish thieves, poppet?” His voice is sickeningly condescending. 

You keep your mouth shut, refusing to give this moron the satisfaction of following along. By now, a small crowd of crew members had formed, all of them enjoying the free entertainment. 

The captain rolls his eyes, looking around at the rest of his crew, “How should we punish her, eh boys?”

A mess of responses comes from the men. 

“Throw ’er overboard!”

“Strip ‘er and tie ‘er to the mast!”

 “Slit ‘er throat!”

You’re sure the fear is visible in your eyes. The captain looks quite amused by the whole ordeal. 

“True, I usually just throw thieves overboard. But,” he leans down, his face a few mere inches away from yours. “I think I should handle yer punishment a little more... personally.” He turns to face his crew again, “I’ll handle this myself, get back to work ya morons.” 

The crew disperses, groaning in disappointment. They were hoping for a much more entertaining conclusion. But you know this isn’t over for you. 

He finally withdraws his blade and pulls you up to your feet, “Follow me love. Let’s discuss yer punishment in private.” he whispers into your ear. 

As soon as the door of the captain’s quarter’s clicked shut he broke the silence. 

“y/n.” 

“Miya.” you growl. “I meant it when I said I’d kill you.”

“Tch, don’t be like that poppet-”

“Don't call me that.”

“Right. Forgot ya hated that name.” Atsumu sighs, “Love, I know I was a dick. I don’t expect ya to just let me back in, but please give me a chance.”

You sit down in a chair. “And why would I do that, Miya?”

He leans over you, hand on either arm of the chair, trapping you. “Ya know ya miss me. Us.” 

You scrunch up your nose. “That’s awfully arrogant of you.”

He leans in further, nose bumping against yours. “C’mon love. At least stay the night, for old time’s sake.”

You don’t know what possesses you at that moment. This is the man that had left you behind, without so much as a proper warning. He told you in passing he wanted to leave one night and never return. The next day you had woken up to a cold bed and a missing ship. 

You had every intention of chopping off his dick and shoving down his throat if you ever saw him again. But here you are, kissing him as though you still needed him with every fiber of your being.

He grazes your lips with his teeth, hands wandering your body freely.

“Fuck, I missed ya so much love.” Atsumu’s leg slips between your and bumps against your sensitive core. You whimper against his lips, hating how easily you slip into a submissive state for him. 

Atsumu pulls away and boasts a dangerous smirk on his lips. “I’m supposed to be punishing ya darlin’, the men won’t believe I kept my word unless they hear some screamin’.”

He grips the front of your blouse, pulls you out of the chair and shoves you onto his bed. He climbs on top of you, easily tearing the fabric between his fingers. His eyes roll back when he’s greeted with the familiar sight of your bare breasts, barely biting back a groan as he eagerly gropes them. You wrap your legs around his waist, grinding up against his hardening cock. Atsumu kisses you sloppily, teeth roughly clashing against yours. You reach up to throw off his stupid hat and thread your fingers through his hair.

“This is,” you gasp as Atsumu drags his thumb around your nipple, “quite the punishment, Miya.”

In an instant, Atsumu ceases all movement. “You’ve forgotten who yer dealin’ with, princess.” 

He unhooks your legs from around his waist and gets off the bed. You start to sit up, but Atsumu quickly shoves you back down, his massive hand wrapped almost entirely around your throat. “Did I tell you to fuckin’ move?” 

“N-no,” you choke out.

He raises an eyebrow. “Ya seem to have forgotten your manners as well, what a damn shame.”

Before you can react, he releases your neck and slaps you across the face. The sound of the impact echoes throughout the room and rings in your ears.

Atsumu grips your face tightly and forces you to face him. “Let’s try again shall we?” He leans in, his lips ghosting over your own, so close that you can feel his hot breath mingling with yours. 

“Did I give you permission to move?”

You swallow, trying to speak without trembling, “No, s-sir.”

There’s a satisfied glint in his eyes as he releases you. You make sure to stay perfectly still. Without a word of acknowledgement he walks over to his desk, shrugs off his coat, and removes the pistols you were mortified to realize you hadn’t detected. 

From your spot on the bed you get a perfect view of the wonders his pants do for his ass. You're so distracted you don’t notice Atsumu lighting a candle before walking back over to the bedside. 

“Clothes off.”

Once you’ve stripped bare, Atsumu lays you on your back and spreads your legs. Your cunt is already glistening from the heated kissing and grinding.

“You’re positively drenched, darlin’.” 

He reaches over to grab the red candle from the table. He holds it over your stomach, before grinning again. “You’re not allowed to move, but screaming is highly encouraged.”

With that he tilts the candle, letting a drop of wax plop onto your stomach. You hiss and squirm, the heat almost unbearable for a moment. You’re ashamed to admit the sharp pain goes straight to your twitching pussy. Another drop falls a bit higher up your torso. It takes all your willpower to keep still. 

To only make matters worse, as Atsumu drips the candle wax onto your breasts he uses his free hand to start teasing your clit. You mewl as he rubs up and down your slit, inserting a finger as wax lands on your hardened nipples. His fingers graze against that tender spot inside, you arch your back, grinding on his hand. 

“F-fuck, right there!” you choke out. Your eyes are screwed shut, but you feel the drips of wax traveling further down your body. 

“Yer movin’ again,” Atsumu leans forward, the candle flame licking the skin of your side, “Are ya this desperate for me? All that time on your own really did make ya a whore, hmm?”

You shake your head, “No, I didn-”

Before you can finish, Atsumu quickly removes his hand and slaps it against your cunt, hard. You can’t suppress the screech ripped from your throat. 

He sits back between your thighs and sets the candle on the floor by the bed. He nods to your legs, “Grab ‘em and hold ‘em to yer chest. Now.”

You do as he says, feeling your face get hot again. Atsumu’s view must be entirely obscene. If someone were to walk in now, there would be no saving your dignity. 

Atsumu’s eyes are dark and hungry, he hits your cunt again with more force than before. A loud and wet slap echoes in the room along with your shriek. You heave, trying to catch your breath.

He lowers his face between your legs and licks a stripe up, leaving a kiss on your clit. “Such a filthy little whore. Yer really enjoying this aren’t ya?”

You nod your head rapidly, “Y-yes sir, I am.”

“So ya haven’t learned yer lesson about stealin’ from me?”

Oh shit. That’s right.

“I, uh...”

Fuck, you can’t think straight with his tongue grazing against your soaked hole.

“No? Well I’ll have to really punish ya then.”

He holds the candle directly over your pussy, eyes gleaming. 

“W-wait-” You’re interrupted by your own scream as the first drop of wax hits your clit with a plop! 

“That’s what I like to hear, darlin’.” Atsumu’s face boasts a sadistic grin as he continues his assault on your cunt. 

You keep screaming with each drop, the stinging only making you wetter than you already were. Your fingernails leave bright red crescents on your thighs as you grip them to your chest, using all your strength to stay still. There’s wax all over your swollen cunt and you’re sure it must look like an absolute mess. 

“I think yer ready now.” Atsumu mumbles, undoing his pants and taking out his cock. He readjusts himself and teases your dripping pussy with his impossibly hard length. You whimper every time he slips just the head of his cock in. 

“Fuckin’ hell, doll yer still so tight.” He groans, finally pushing all the way in.

Your vision is blurry from all the overwhelming sensations. Atsumu pulls out almost completely before ramming his hips back against yours. Your mouth drops open as he sets the brutal pace you were so familiar with from all those years ago. You whimper and whine with every wet slap of his cock drilling into you. 

Without slowing his pace, Atsumu picks the candle back up. He grins down at you, tipping it over again and lands a particularly large glob of wax on your clit. Your scream is guttural, the feeling of Atsumu hitting your g-spot while the burning wax stimulates your swollen clit entirely overwhelming.

You start to feel a familiar tension in your stomach. Your cunt clenches around Atsumu’s cock, making him throw his head back, eyes screwed shut. He takes a ragged breath before looking you in the eyes and presses his thumb harshly against the wax on your clit.

“F-fuck! Sir, I’m cumming!” You scream, legs shake so violently you lose your grip on them. Before they can hit the bed Atsumu blows out the candle and throws it to the ground. He uses his free arm to hold them back up against you. 

“That’s it darlin’, just like that, keep cumming for me.” Atsumu presses himself harder against you as his thrusts get sloppier. He groans loudly as he cums inside you, his grip on your legs loosening. 

He lets out a ragged breath as his movements come to a stop and he helps you lower your sore legs to the bed.

He leans over you, his strong arms on either side of your head. He kisses you the way he did earlier, as loving as ever. He pulls away from your lips and presses his forehead to yours. You both stay there in comfortable silence for a moment. 

Once you’ve caught your breath, you whisper, “I think we should clean up.”

Atsumu sighs, but reluctantly moves off of you. Dry wax on your body uncomfortably cracks with the movement.

You scrunch up your nose, how the hell are you going to get this off of you?

“Well then? How was that?” Atsumu asks.

 “I suppose,” you turn your head to the captain, “that was satisfactory.” 

Atsumu snorts, “Just satisfactory huh? I’ll go harder next time then, princess.”

You shiver, knowing full well he will keep his word. You also don’t fail to notice his choice of words.

Next time.

You watch as Atsumu stands up and starts pulling his pants back on. The thin sheen of sweat covering his back makes him almost glow in the sunlight shining through the window. He pulls his cotton tunic over his head and turns back to you, a soft look in his eyes. “Let’s get ya cleaned up shall we?”

He opens a cabinet to pull out a cloth and bottle. He places them on the bedside table before situating himself beside you. He douses the cloth with a thick liquid. 

“What is that?” you ask, watching as he starts rubbing it into your skin and over the wax. 

“Olive oil, it’ll get the wax right off of yer skin. I don’t wanna hurt ya or let ya rip the pieces off.” Atsumu dutifully works at your skin, slowly but surely getting all the wax off, and leaving you very oily instead. 

“Miya?”

“I think we’re a bit past the formalities dontcha think?”

You smile sadly, “Atsumu, why are you here? You said you weren’t coming back.”

Atsumu sighs, “I know what I said. And I meant it when I said it, but I was an idiot.”

“Not surprised.”

“Watch it.” Atsumu pinches your leg playfully. “I didn’t realize that what I was looking for wasn’t on the other side of the world.” 

He puts down the rag and walks over to his coat. You sit up against the headboard as he rumages for something in its pockets. He pulls out a little brown box with gold detailing around its borders. He circles the bed, taking a seat beside you. He meets your eyes, “Can’t believe I needed this thing to realize what I really wanted.” 

You frown as he opens the box, expecting to see a giant diamond or aztec gold. 

“A broken compass.” You say, unimpressed.

Atsumu groans, “I’m trying to be dramatic here and yer ruining my moment.” He takes a deep breath, “Yes, it's a compass. But it’s not broken, it points toward whatever it is you most desire.” 

The needle spins back and forth for a split moment before picking a direction. You twist your head back to look behind you, “You want the rum on the table?”

“For fuck’s sake y/n and ya say I’m dense.” He runs a hand down his face. “It’s pointing at you.”

You freeze for a moment. He can’t possibly mean that. 

“Atsumu I swear to god if you're messing with me...” your voice trails off.

Atsumu puts the compass down and takes hold of your hands, “I swear on my life, yer everything I want in this world. I’m fully prepared to sell the ship and stay with ya on dry land if that’s what ya want.”

You blink back tears, “There’s no need to be so dramatic.” You move over so he can take a seat beside you. “I don’t want you to give up sailing. I never did. All I wanted was for you to take me with you, to be with you.”

Atsumu shakes his head, “I was so fuckin’ stupid.”

You smile and curl up next to him, “Not as stupid as I am giving you a second chance. Don’t make me regret this.”

Atsumu drapes his arm around you, planting a kiss on your head, “I’ll make you a pirate queen, darlin’. Just you wait.”

You giggle, “So where are we headed, captain?”

Atsumu grabs the compass again. With his arm secured around you, the needle starts spinning again. It settles in the general direction of the island. 

You raise a brow at him, challenging him to explain why the needle was pointing toward the village.

Atsumu grins like an idiot and reaches over you to snatch the bottle of rum. He rips out the cork with his teeth and spits it out to the floor. He takes a swig before holding it up to your lips, carefully pouring some into your mouth. 

Taking the compass back into his hands it finally settles, pointing out to the open ocean.

You smile, “Looks like we have a heading. Any idea where it may be taking us?”

Atsumu is quiet for a moment, before turning back to you. In his eyes is a glimmer of adventure. Those are the eyes of a troublemaker you fell in love with oh so long ago. 

“Ever heard of the fountain of youth?”

“CAT GOT MY TONGUE.” [A. MIYA]

❥ afab reader, atsumu loves to eat pussy, oral (f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), orgasm denial, pet names

❥ atsumu eats pussy to get you to shut up. also, the answer to the doors vs wheels question is obviously WHEELS.

Both you and your boyfriend had a very interesting relationship. Often, you would find yourself bickering with the setter; from the most frivolous topics to topics don’t even concern both of you — this includes tv shows, the colour of an orange to shit like gossip and people in your social lives. It was what made you both all the more endearing to each other; the intense, thrilling thought of who the hell is going to shut the hell up first?

Your first introduction to this man was as unceremonious as your relationship. You were a student studying law while he was the infamous setter who won the hearts of many; teachers, women, coaches. In this University, he was a star. Atsumu Miya was an individual that you knew wasn’t the best influence. As charming as he was with the people outside of the campus, he was an idiotic and awfully endearing bastard.

In the end, he would be your idiotic and awfully endearing bastard.

Except, not at this moment as the man argued with you — this trivial topic that his right wing, Shouyo brought up — about the question: “Are there more wheels or doors in the world?” Syllable after syllable, whine after whine, you didn’t know what irritated you more. The fact that Atsumu’s evidence was disgustingly general or that his response was—

“—doors! There ‘re more doors in the world, babe,” the blond man runs a hand through his messy locks as he follows you to your kitchen, “they’re literally everywhere as we speak, the answer is doors.”

Rolling your eyes, you pour yourself a cup of coffee as you think about what you’ll do to Shouyo once you see him. It’s his fault that Atsumu is so persistent! With a scoff, you shake your head. “Kitchen cabinets do not count as doors, ‘Tsumu!”

“And doorknobs do not count as wheels!” Atsumu counters.

“What classified as wheels is that if they can rotate a full 360,” you respond within a heartbeat, “this includes screws and gears and fans!”

You didn’t know what you wanted to do at this moment, ignore the man you unfortunately love for the rest of day or continue on with this fruitless debate. One thing was certain: Atsumu would not shut up until you’ve admitted defeat, thus you will not be going with the latter.

“Yeah?” Atsumu challenges, grabbing your hips before making you do a twirl, causing you to drop your coffee on the ground as you yelp at his sudden gesture. What was this idiot thinking?! “What about you, then? Do you count as a wheel?”

You furrow your brows — absolutely appalled by his logical but unsound premise! — as your mind progressively searched for a suitable explanation, your gaze traveling from his celestial features to the way his large hands seemed to press hardly against the bare skin of your hips. You only wore a large t-shirt, belonging to the man himself (which was a result of last night’s endeavors). With no underwear or bottom, you could feel air rush between your legs as he steps back to pick up the broken glass beneath your feet.

Atsumu, noticing your silence, purses his lips immediately as you seemed frozen on the spot. “Fuck, I broke your favourite mug. ‘M sorry, sweetheart.”

If this were any other person, hearing Atsumu Miya call you that nickname would astound them. After all, you both have created that reputable name as the “bickering couple.” Upon hearing his short apology, however, it was not the mug that you were thinking about, your eyes fall to the way his short hair bounced on his head as he cleaned up the mess beneath your feet, completely oblivious with the way you push yourself back on the kitchen counter to watch him clean the mess.

As if noticing the quietude that fall upon the atmosphere of your small kitchen, Atsumu looks up, his eyes flickering to the way you briefly pull down the shirt in attempt to be modest. He smirks, “what? Cat got yer tongue?” He finishes the clean up beneath your feet then strides toward you — long, muscled legs evident beneath the sun-bathed room.

You force yourself to look away, immediately remembering your previous battle with him… what was it, again? Doors or wheels? The boy merely chuckled at your adorable reaction, looking as if your overwhelmed stance entertained him deeply.

“Shut up you—” you attempt to speak, with a rumbling tone. However, Atsumu presses his body against yours and you could feel everything. The way his bulge pressed against your legs, his large fingers tickling your sides, and his lips against your own. What was he trying to do? Assert dominance by shutting you up? Not on your watch. “You’re just stupid, ‘Tsumu. The logical answer will always be wheels.” You click your tongue, making your way to the living room where the blond setter followed closely behind.

“Are you really using Ad Hominem to argue my claims?” He pouts, wrapping his thick arms around your shoulders from behind. “Yer just mad that you don’t have anything else to support your argument, babe. I win— it’s doors.” You groan, but that sound turned to a small gasp when the man buried his nose into your neck, kissing your skin slowly.

Immediately, you grab a fistful of hair as he continues his oral pursuits on your neck. “Hm? Are you trying to distract me, right now?” You try to counter, but your legs weakly rub together as he grabs your neck from behind you, gently caressing your skin as he kisses your chin.

“You’ve got me all wrong, love,” he huffs while jumping over the couch so he could hold you, “it’s the other way ‘round— you’re distractin’ me.”

He takes your waist, holding you tightly against him. Atsumu locks his mouth against yours, his fingers tangling in your hair. Immediately, he was poisoned by the flavor of your honey tongue. It was absurdly intoxicating, a drug he would never get used to. You sighed against Atsumu’s mouth as your hands moved to the curvature of his neck, pulling lightly on the base of his hair. One of his strong arms wrapped around your waist, pressing your body against his with undeniable desire, concupiscence.

His lips begin to venture down your neck, to your clear shoulders, before he’s sliding up the oversized shirt that you wore— his shirt— and whistling when his golden eyes meet your bare cunt. “Awe, no panties? Were you waiting for me to fuck you raw, is that what? Were you tryin’ to rile me up with the stupid wheels or doors argument?” He almost cooed and you feel embarrassment rush up into your countenance as you shut your legs in response to his taunts.

“You were the one who started the thing,” you grunted, feeling vulnerable under his droopy gaze, “don’t you put words in my mouth…” Your strong tone turns into jelly as soon as Atsumu presses his lips inside your thighs — so close to your core, yet too far to get that satisfaction that you so yearned for.

His breath was warm and heavy against your skin, making your flesh tingle in a mixture of desire and anticipation. “Feels good, baby?” He asked teasingly, his deep voice reverberating inside your chest like distant drums. Outside of the bedroom, the usage of that nickname would have made you furious but, at that moment, it only made you melt further into his touches. “Want me to go on, hm?”

You groan, shamelessly bucking your hips into his face. “Ugh… shut the— hah— up…” A whimper dared to escaped your roseate lips as soon as he begins humming — the vibrations travelling all over your body as his mouth kissed the path up your leg, his lips slowly touching the sensitivity of your clit. Such simple contact was enough for you to moan out his name, hand flying to hold onto his hair tightly, “fuck! Atsumu!” You throw your head back, hitting the hard rest of the couch as the man begins to flatten and lick you — in a treacherously slow pace — on your pussy. You begin to jolt at his advances, which lead to him holding you down with his large hands.

"You seem so eager," Atsumu jests. He stops momentarily, resting his head on your thigh as his eyes meet your clouded own. "Tell me you want more, doll."

“Please" seemed to be the only thing you could muster, your voice bordering on a whisper. You didn't think it would be this easy for Atsumu to turn you on. His voice was velvet, he movements were with grace, and god, his eyes peering towards you from below might have been enough to—

“C-cum!" You arch your back. " I'm gunna— d-don’t stop, ‘Tsumu, I swear to God if you s-stop, fuck!—” Atsumu lifts his head, your essence plastering his lips as he flicks his tongue over your substances while cockily smiling. Sure, he had a hard bulge tightly hugging his all-too-thin shorts, but the only thing that you concerned yourself with at this moment was the fact that he had stopped before you came, making you raise your voice in a whine as you pathetically buck your hips in the air. “W-Why did you stop?! I was close!” You almost cry out, throwing your head back in defeat.

With a tilt of his head, he chuckles, “cat got my tongue.”

That cheeky bastard, you were going to kill him for sure!

adorahub © 2023, pls do not modify, copy, or repost— live laugh like && reblog if you enjoyed reading this

'kay but like imagine the jealousy in their eyes when they see you walking to the dorm's mailboxes but you're wearing flowy pj pants with a sports bra on. there's hickeys from your "best friend's" curiosity on your neck, collarbones and chest. you look over and smile innocently at him, sorting through your mail.

he can't help but want to be the one to leave those pretty blossoming marks across your body. he heard the giggles from his wall, them being paper thin. of course, he knew that your best friend was curious about women and who are you to say no to the person you trust the most? next time, he'd ask you out for lunch and make sure your best friend sees you laughing at his jokes and hitting him playfully. . all while those marks are turning yellow and disappearing.

ATSUMU, OIKAWA, KAGEYAMA, KYOTANI, DAICHI, IWAIZUMI, akaashi, tendou!!

ommggg

iwa's bigger, calloused hands leaving bruises from how hard his fingers sunk into your hips when railing you! forgetting about them and wearing a shirt that doesn't cover them?? the STARES!!

oikawa would probably make fun of them, gagging even. but he would never know the sounds that came from you. they were like melodies and spurred him on to keep it up. your poor pussy must be so sore too, i mean judging by how you're sitting and wincing when you move a certain way. .

needless to say, iwa might need to consider getting you high rise pants just in case your parents visit the next time.