Final Draft - Tumblr Posts
"There is no light without shadow, and there is no happiness without pain" (Final)
This is the final draft of a story I recently did. Found it was a little underdone, and decided to spice it up a bit.
THIS is how I think Nine being in Sonic's universe would REALLY go.
TW: Nine Pain, emotional agony, and implied thoughts of suicide
============================================
This is the fox Sonic knew, a person so happy and cheerful it blinded him of cruel nostalgia, almost mocking him of something he used to have. Something precious, something you can only have once. And Nine never got to savor it, as it was taken by the cruel fists and harsh oppression of life. He turned jaded, covering the last purity he had under a shield of snark and hatred for the world he was forced to grow in.
This fox, who wore his tails proudly, letting them grow, never hiding them in a sleek metal cocoon, smiled a smile Nine longed to have again, their blue eyes shimmering with wonder as they gazed upon him, as if he was worth their curiosity, of such innocent curiosity.
Nine swallowed an odd lump in their throat, feeling that pain in his chest. And he hated it. All of that cheerfulness, that sweetness, that gentle, naive soul the fluffy fox gave the world when Nine never had a chance; he loathed all of it.
But this was the only way to even be in the same world as Sonic, this is the only way he can be with Sonic, the only way he can be alive. So he tolerated the fox. He wasn't buddy-buddy with him, but he tried not to be hostile or rude. Everybody assumed he was just being grumpy old him, so they didn't look too much into it, not even Sonic. Nine soon found that, even when surrounded by the friends Sonic spoke about, even when conversing and going on adventures with them; he was still alone.
It was then, watching the hedgehog's and fox's brotherly bond, watching them happily engage in each other's company, watching them give each other support, playing, adventuring, eating chili dogs, battling with Eggman that he realized, Sonic didn't feel bad for HIM, never saw HIM, gave compliments and affections not to HIM; it...was all for...
all...because he was...
He felt a strong and dreadful feeling. It was a feeling he never truly felt before, one of pain, of grief, of the tiresome torment of depression:
Despair.
Bitter, unmerciful despair. It swallowed him whole, sinking him deeper into its tired, hopeless depths. It mocked him of how hopeful and foolish he was, thinking HE could possibly be happy and loved, thinking HE could be in such a beautiful world, thinking HE would never be alone again.
Nine didn't try to struggle, didn't try to escape it. Not because it was too late, there aren't any other better outcomes for him than this, but because it just wasn't possible for ANY of those to come true.
What was the point of fighting against something that was true, of something that was clear right in front of you?
But...Sonic would worry. He'd ask him what was wrong, would be deeply troubled, would be hurt or sad if Nine ever told him. He would try to cheer Nine up, would be by Nine's side, when just being in this happy world made Nine ironically more miserable than he'd ever been, when all Nine wanted was to be alone.
So, he stayed aloof, despite wanting company so bad, he stayed snarky, no matter how much it made him want to kick himself, he stayed strong and fierce, because he didn't deserve comfort that was meant for someone else.
He stayed broken and in secret sorrow, because it's the only way to feel that he's his own person; because he's just the broken, suffering shadow of someone who's fixed and happy.
Nine found he hated this world. Hated the cheerful chirping of flickies, hated the spicy chili hitting his tongue, hated the idle and natural chatter around him, hated the doctors worthless cries of disbelief when they would take apart his pathetic excuse for robots (just shut up), hated the company of those who saw him as another Tails (justleavemealone), hated looking at the fox he was once a part of, hated walking on the ground, hated breathing the clean air (i don't want to breath now), hated being in this hell place, hated...
...he hated being around Sonic now too...that was the only reason he...wanted all of this...the only reason he was still alive...the only reason he fought with blood and sweat...
and now...
...
(i don't want to wake up anymore)
He never voiced these of course. They might be confused, or angered, and he didn't want to see the stupid pity in their gaze, or they might work on reverting him back since he was so unhappy.
Even if they felt sympathy for him, they wouldn't be able to truly understand this awful feeling, they would think he was worrying over nothing, and more importantly:
They wouldn't be able to help him.
So he swallowed down that feeling, ignored the frequent headaches, ignored the stinging in his eyes as he watched them bond with love, love that was never meant for HIM. (who could love a freak like me)
He walked on the colorful, welcoming knives with a perfect smile of false joy, ignoring the pain.
This was paradise after all...
And he was so happy...
so
so
happy
happy
happy
happy
happy
he
couldn't
ask
for
anything
else
I just completed my internship. This is the final version of the logo and the page it had to be on which my mentor wanted me to design.
If you want to see the WIPs & sketches for this project, they can be found in my archive.
Final draft of Yamcha as Hawkeye & Ichigo as Black Widow. I also have them separately too.
I submitted the rough drafts for the logo for my friend. It turns out she loved all the ideas. I had thought about choosing one of them to make a final design but I couldn’t decide which one should be the final one. So I solved this issue by making final drafts of all of the sketches. I just sent them to my friend and she loves all of them. She’ll decide which one should be the official logo for her organization.
These are the final drafts of the logos. l had fun designing them. I would love feedback on which ones you like/dislike the most and which ones you think need to be tweaked/fixed.