"There Is No Light Without Shadow, And There Is No Happiness Without Pain" (Final)

"There is no light without shadow, and there is no happiness without pain" (Final)

This is the final draft of a story I recently did. Found it was a little underdone, and decided to spice it up a bit.

THIS is how I think Nine being in Sonic's universe would REALLY go.

TW: Nine Pain, emotional agony, and implied thoughts of suicide

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This is the fox Sonic knew, a person so happy and cheerful it blinded him of cruel nostalgia, almost mocking him of something he used to have. Something precious, something you can only have once. And Nine never got to savor it, as it was taken by the cruel fists and harsh oppression of life. He turned jaded, covering the last purity he had under a shield of snark and hatred for the world he was forced to grow in.

This fox, who wore his tails proudly, letting them grow, never hiding them in a sleek metal cocoon, smiled a smile Nine longed to have again, their blue eyes shimmering with wonder as they gazed upon him, as if he was worth their curiosity, of such innocent curiosity.

Nine swallowed an odd lump in their throat, feeling that pain in his chest. And he hated it. All of that cheerfulness, that sweetness, that gentle, naive soul the fluffy fox gave the world when Nine never had a chance; he loathed all of it.

But this was the only way to even be in the same world as Sonic, this is the only way he can be with Sonic, the only way he can be alive. So he tolerated the fox. He wasn't buddy-buddy with him, but he tried not to be hostile or rude. Everybody assumed he was just being grumpy old him, so they didn't look too much into it, not even Sonic. Nine soon found that, even when surrounded by the friends Sonic spoke about, even when conversing and going on adventures with them; he was still alone.

It was then, watching the hedgehog's and fox's brotherly bond, watching them happily engage in each other's company, watching them give each other support, playing, adventuring, eating chili dogs, battling with Eggman that he realized, Sonic didn't feel bad for HIM, never saw HIM, gave compliments and affections not to HIM; it...was all for...

all...because he was...

He felt a strong and dreadful feeling. It was a feeling he never truly felt before, one of pain, of grief, of the tiresome torment of depression:

Despair.

Bitter, unmerciful despair. It swallowed him whole, sinking him deeper into its tired, hopeless depths. It mocked him of how hopeful and foolish he was, thinking HE could possibly be happy and loved, thinking HE could be in such a beautiful world, thinking HE would never be alone again.

Nine didn't try to struggle, didn't try to escape it. Not because it was too late, there aren't any other better outcomes for him than this, but because it just wasn't possible for ANY of those to come true.

What was the point of fighting against something that was true, of something that was clear right in front of you?

But...Sonic would worry. He'd ask him what was wrong, would be deeply troubled, would be hurt or sad if Nine ever told him. He would try to cheer Nine up, would be by Nine's side, when just being in this happy world made Nine ironically more miserable than he'd ever been, when all Nine wanted was to be alone.

So, he stayed aloof, despite wanting company so bad, he stayed snarky, no matter how much it made him want to kick himself, he stayed strong and fierce, because he didn't deserve comfort that was meant for someone else.

He stayed broken and in secret sorrow, because it's the only way to feel that he's his own person; because he's just the broken, suffering shadow of someone who's fixed and happy.

Nine found he hated this world. Hated the cheerful chirping of flickies, hated the spicy chili hitting his tongue, hated the idle and natural chatter around him, hated the doctors worthless cries of disbelief when they would take apart his pathetic excuse for robots (just shut up), hated the company of those who saw him as another Tails (justleavemealone), hated looking at the fox he was once a part of, hated walking on the ground, hated breathing the clean air (i don't want to breath now), hated being in this hell place, hated...

...he hated being around Sonic now too...that was the only reason he...wanted all of this...the only reason he was still alive...the only reason he fought with blood and sweat...

and now...

...

(i don't want to wake up anymore)

He never voiced these of course. They might be confused, or angered, and he didn't want to see the stupid pity in their gaze, or they might work on reverting him back since he was so unhappy.

Even if they felt sympathy for him, they wouldn't be able to truly understand this awful feeling, they would think he was worrying over nothing, and more importantly:

They wouldn't be able to help him.

So he swallowed down that feeling, ignored the frequent headaches, ignored the stinging in his eyes as he watched them bond with love, love that was never meant for HIM. (who could love a freak like me)

He walked on the colorful, welcoming knives with a perfect smile of false joy, ignoring the pain.

This was paradise after all...

And he was so happy...

so

so

happy

happy

happy

happy

happy

he

couldn't

ask

for

anything

else

AAAAAAAUUUUGH! We need more of these two!!

I haven't seen the movie yet, but I agree wholeheartedly that Nine deserves a small stitchpunk friend to cure his loneliness.

If you don't mind me asking, how do you think these two would actually meet? Would the doll 9 break into Nine's lab? How? Or would the doll and fox run into each other? When and where? How would they react seeing each other? Nine would probably be angry at first that someone broke into his lab or bothered him but then he sees this little guy and he's confused at first but then it starts moving and- I'm having way too many thoughts about this...It's nearly 3 in the morning...

"The Chaos Council is running out of money? That must suck."

"I have a proposal;"

Sorry for bothering you about this but I was wondering about if your doing your stories again simply because they are just great reads :)

I have a prompt for a story involving Nine and sonic.

1. Sonic trying to help Nine adjust to his new life with his friends because now he is able to exist with his twin and even taking him to the tree.

2. Nine being a little off put by how radically different Amy is here and her trying to comforting and even noticing how frayed and thin his Tails are.

3. Tails trying to adjust to having ‘Twin’ brother and both finding common ground but its still shakey.

4. A flashback of Sonic coming into the room and being like “Hey guys, so remember a few days ago when I shattered the prism” they acknowledge it and he just says TA DA and introduces nine.

5.Nine feeling like a fish out of water but doesn’t want to leave his brother, he thought tooth and nail to get this life and he’s not backing down.

6. Knuckles actually dulling out some sage advice to the young Kit.

Hello! I AM doing requests for stories again! Answering and writing them might take a while because I'm still writing my own things, and currently writing a story for the Nine series me and friend made, not to mention I want to practice my drawing so I can post it one day. And I'm so happy you like the stories I do!

And this is a nice prompt! One story coming up! I decided to try a different thing in this too! ^v^

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Everything was filled with beautiful color in this world. It was like living in an antique painting, one full of pastel colors and extravagant forms that were foreign to him. He never would have gotten here if it wasn't for the vibrant blue urchin that was his only dear friend.

Sonic is a very determined hedgehog, and Nine couldn't thank him enough for that fact.

That's what Nine learned as Sonic continuously tries to get him comfortable and happy in what the hedgehog stated was home. Not another Shattered Space, but the main universe Sonic originally destroyed. Nine put it all back together, but it would've come at a cost of disappearing forever, going back to being a trait.

Nine was scared, he assured Sonic it would be fine, tried to steel himself for fading into nothingness, but he was terrified. Naturally though, Sonic the "Mr. Freedom is the Most Important Thing" hedgehog, wasn't having ANY of it.

Nine was...caught off guard to say the least when the urchin began to insist on him staying with him in his world, the original world, began to implore if there was another way without the fox disappearing forever. Nine knew he had to refuse, he wasn't tails, not to mention to potential effects it might have, but seeing the genuine concern and care in those emerald eyes, the fear and pain...he knew he couldn't.

He knew Sonic didn't want him to. And he didn't want to either.

So he didn't. He found a less, effective solution in fixing the world, but made it so he could live there as well without any problems. He hoped it would be stable enough to allow such a big change.

But those worries went out the window now that he was here, and after a few days, he forgot he worried about anything at all. This world was wonderful! Green grounds, healthy trees and wonderful lakes, it was paradise! And he was right here, right by Sonic, finally eating Chili dogs with him, and it became a heaven!

The only problem was...Tails. The fluffier, more cheerful, more healthy (both in body and mind) fox Sonic loved as a brother. The reason why Sonic was so caring and sweet to him in the first place.

It wasn't that the fox was mean, at least not intentionally, nor was it that the two tailed vulpine annoyed him. It was just...he was so cheerful and naive. Not to mention seeing how...healthy he was, and those eyes those fucking eyes-

Wide blue eyes always stared at Nine when he was around, watching him, both with fascination and absolute admiration. Nine found the fascination understandable, the feeling was mutual, but the admiration really confused him. It confused him very much.

He couldn't understand at all.

Why would anyone admire him?, that's what he was curious about. When he asked the fox, he found the answer.

"It's just, you're so cool! You have those metal tails and your super strong and formidable in battle! Your just so amazing!", blue eyes sparkled as they answered.

Nine didn't respond. So that was why? Because he had metal tails, was good at fighting, and preferred to work alone? Nine didn't find anything to admire about the latter two. The fox could fight too, Nine saw this, not to mention the preference to work on his own came from being used to being alone.

But he simply nodded and came up with an event so he could leave. He didn't hate the kit, just...wasn't exactly friends with them. As long the fox didn't bother him they could manage.

Nine kept their interactions to a minimum and very short and brief.

Then there was Amy Rose. At first, Nine didn't know what to think. So, this was who Rusty was before the Council...'enhanced'...her body. She was a lot more, well, alive. Her green eyes sparkled with cheeriness and youth, her body lacked any traces of metal, and a flicky surrounded her, chirping happily instead of being trapped inside her chest cavity, chirping with pain and despair.

Nine was taken aback by how...young she truly was. Made him wonder with horror how old Rusty was when she was roboticized.

Rose was...very kind. A far cry from the emotionless callousness of the robot he remembered her as. Then again, that wasn't her, was it?

No, this Rose was friendly, full of expression, and so vibrant with the soft color of pink. Nine liked her. She gave him motherly vibes, even though he knew that thought was humorous, and he felt rather comfortable in her presence.

The only problem was how much she insisted on caring about his well being; making sure he cared for himself, making sure he worked on being healthy again, and trying to get him to 'open up'.

The first two weren't that bad. It was nice being cared for, and besides, Sonic did those too. Although he was a bit more stubborn about it, dragging Nine out of his lab and making sure he slept and ate. Nine acted annoyed and frustrated, but really he felt...warm. Again, it was very nice.

The only problem was the last part. The "opening yourself up" part. He understood that she cared, and didn't mean any harm, but when she offered to listen to his problems - and by extension, his trauma - he gently declined every time.

He didn't want to open up, didn't want to explore his trauma. His trauma could bury itself and die for all he cared. Although, he knew it was bad. He knew that choice would only make it worse. He just...it wasn't...

He just can't. That was all. Sure he didn't want to pour out his chest, didn't want to cry pathetically in front of this girl he had only knew as a robot, didn't want her to rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiippppppp open his chest and pull on his insides pity him even more.

But he knew he wouldn't be able to spill out his trauma like that if he tried.

He kept being polite to her, but like the others, he carefully kept his distance.

Then there was the echidna.

Nine found the echidna, named 'Knuckles', was someone he needed to keep and eye on. The echidna was as bad tempered as all the other counterpart Nine knew, not to mention how the echidna was suspicious of Nine when Sonic introduced the fox.

They weren't on the best terms.

However, Nine soon saw the echidna start to soften up. Knuckles didn't tense or stare at him whenever the fox was within proximity. But Nine still felt tense within the echidna's proximity, knowing the strength behind his namesake's.

So he was surprised when the guardian began to offer him advice. Rather odd advice. Telling him not to do things alone, to enjoy things while he's here, telling him that letting your feelings out doesn't make him weak, that it can help him.

He told him other things, but Nine tuned him out.

Why listen to advice that was utterly worthless? That everyone else has been trying to tell him, that didn't help him at all?

Why do they even care about him? Sonic he had some understanding but why do the others? To Amy, he was just a burden, a helpless person who needed to be cared for, to Knuckles, he was an idiot who needed to be taught, to...Tails, he was just a variant, just a simple reflection with a smear of gray.

Although come to think of it, Sonic probably only stuck with him because he resembled that damn soft fox.

But, even with that, he refused to go back to being a part of the fluffy fox, he refused to give up. He gave up everything to be here, he fought tooth and nail, and he wasn't going to go back because of a little difficulties.

He kept going.

Tails stared at him with those eyes of innocence and naive curiosity. Of admiration.

Keep going.

Don't give up.

Amy stared at him like a pathetic child who can't fend for himself.

You did so much to get here.

Knuckles' gaze softened every time he was within the echidna's sight

Ignore them.

Sonic must've told them.

Keep going.

A hand rests on his shoulder out of concern.

Don't give in.

Keep. Going.

Don't. You. Dare. Fucking. Cave.

Keep everyone out. Never yield.

Sonic is right there. He's in such a wonderful world.

So why wasn't he happy?

Fucking Crying Over Here About Prime Again (Yes I have An Obsession With This Show, So What?)

Did anyone else notice a sort a cycle with Sonic and Nine, or what hopeless situation Nine is trapped in? I mean I didn't at first but thinking about it now it's becoming kinda obvious.

Let me start with the pattern part first. When Sonic and Nine had that brief moment of trust and friendship Sonic was sucked into the shard away from Nine, leaving the kit alone, confused, and most likely worried and no doubt hurt. When Sonic and Nine end up in the Grim and Sonic chooses to go and help the rebels, leaving Nine alone again, leaving him with the horrible feeling of rejection and loneliness one more. And finally when Sonic goes to look for Nine he unintentionally leaves Nine once again at the mercy of the council.

Now you might be thinking, so what are you saying? Well, did anyone else pick up on the fact that it wasn't just a moment of events, but it was the fact that Sonic leaves Nine in an even WORSE psychological state the more he unintentionally gets pushed away (either by the literally universe, or even Nine himself) and repeatably abandons Nine?

In the first moment of unintentional pain, Sonic gets sucked into the shard, Nine being concerned, confused, and no doubt conflicted, being left alone to ponder in his own worries and thoughts, even after he escapes the council. (Another thing is how he abandoned the rebels and Rusty to find a way to find Sonic, mostly due to his nihilistic and loner mindset, but a small sliver of it might've been due to Sonic disappearing without a teace. The only person who was EVER kind to him)

The second moment leaves Nine even worse, Sonic gently shutting down the Grim DID NOT take away the pain and probable gut punch Nine felt. Nine noticably doesn't yell or snap at Sonic (his noticable changes I'll mention in another post). In fact he seems to bitterly try to swallow that rejection. He pushed himself away from Sonic in that moment, obviously trying to protect himself from the pain, letting him go back and help the rebels, not forcing Sonic to stay (even thought he could've easily done so, he didn't, which again, I'll talk about his noticable character change in another post). Sonic leaves and Nine is left with his own thoughts, to gulp down on that emotional pain on his own.

The last time is when Sonic unintentionally leaves Nine to be captured. From the scenes we see, Nine isn't having the time of his life. He's tased relentlessly, having to dealt with the fact that the person he saw as his only friend rejected being together with him, AND left him when he needed his help on top of that. Not to mention listening to plans of murder.

Imagine: You're an eight year-old child who's been bullied and ostracized by everyone around you, being abused and neglected for something you never asked for, then after YEARS of pain, isolation, and loneliness, you find someone who tells you of another life you could had, someone who shows nothing but selfless concern and care for you, and that same person gets taken right in front of you, leaving you confused, hurt and alone again for what was stated to be WEEKS. Then you build a space ship so you can find him, finding a home for the both of you, when you finally see them again though they reject your idea of a perfect world. In your head: they reject you. You let them go, deeply hurt, but come back to help, only to be captured by tyrannical dictators, abandoned again by the only friend you had. You now have to deal with the undeniable fact of them rejecting you, being stuck with cruel but idiotic dictators who talk about KILLING someone you thought cared for you, and even when you manage to pursue them against it, they talk about draining them, about essentially torturing them to death. ALL OF THAT combined with the emotional trauma of a year long abuse, living in a crap sack world of cruelty and misery, being alone, hated, AND continuously blaming and hating yourself for years, AND the future mental toll of the revelation that it took someone from ANOTHER WORLD TO MAKE YOU FEEL LOVED AND SAFE, BUT IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE THEY SEE YOU AS SOMEONE ELSE, SOMEONE YOU COULD NEVER BE.

It REALLY makes wonder how Nine hasn't fucking SNAPPED.

But something tells me season two is going to get a lot worse for Nine. This series is about Sonic going through redemption to save the world, and Shadows eventual realization that communication takes using your words than using your fists, AND questions just how far a super genius child's mental state and psyche can last when our through isolation, horror, and depression.

But hold on, because I'm about to make this so much worse.

Which brings me to my second point of this post.

I can't remember who rn (mainly because I'm tired as fuck and writing this at 6 in the morning) but someone mentioned something that got me thinking; Nine's entire goal, his entire dream, his SUFFERING is beginning to seem all for nothing.

If the theory that Sonic collects the shards and boom worlds fixed is true, what did Nine suffer for? What did Nine fight for? What did Nine keep going for? All of that pain, that isolation, that psychological horror he experienced and will probably continue to experience, all of his efforts would be for nothing. His goals will never be fulfilled, Nine will never be able to truly win. He'll never be happy.

Either:

He'd just fade from existence and merely become another trait in someone he desperately wants the life of and refuses to be known as.

He'd get rejected by Sonic and would have to suffer this revelation. HARD.

He'd find some way to force Sonic to stay, but in a world where the hedgehog can never be truly happy in (Sonic values freedom above anything else, not to mention his considering of his friends as his home and his insatiable thirst for adventure). And given how Nine seems to want BOTH of them to be happy in the Grim (given his uses of 'we' and 'our'), it would still be for nothing, not to mention it most likely won't make Nine happy either from the sheer guilt or self hatred he'd be in.

He could prevent Sonic from getting sucked into any more shards or in the ShatteredSpace, but seeing how Shadow found a way to escape the void, it wouldn't last very long.

He could find a way to join Sonic in his world, but either reality would collapse and all of them will die or he'd have to live a life being seen as Tails's doppelganger and not a true person, not to mention to undeniable jealously and emotional torment he'd face seeing the fox's and hedgehogs unbreakable friendship.

He could betray Sonic and take over the multiverse, but he'd be hated even more than ever, seen as a monster, not to mention it would completely ignore and trample upon his goals of wanting to be happy. He'd still be fucking miserable.

He could join the Council, but same problem as the one above, only this time he's still trapped in New Yolk with a bunch of cruel dictators.

He could sacrifice himself, but he might never find peace in even that, knowing he's just a mere doppel in Sonic's eyes, knowing his efforts were futile, still rendering his actions to nothing.

No matter what you think of, Nine is still going to be miserable, dead, or reduced to a possible fate worse than death. Nine can't be happy. He can't ever win.

(Which makes my constant tag of #NineDeservesToWinNoMatterWhat pointless too, but I'm going to continue to stand by this. He deserves to win, he deserves happiness more than ANYONE.)

But it's truly depressing that Nine is a person that nobody, not even Sonic, can save. In fact, while Sonic can help and give Nine the unconditional love and support Nine definitely needs, hes inadvertently making Nine's mentality worse not just by abandonment, but by his views of Nine as a doppelganger of his best friend and not his own person, which would undoubtedly take a huge chunk of Nine's psyche, his inability to accept Nine (both as this being a part of Tails, and also due to Nine being a Tails in his eyes, again he still sees Tails), his rejection of Nine's Haven, and the WORST PART OF ALL: Giving a hope that Nine can never grasp.

Sonic gave him a hope of palm trees and beaches. A world of joy and love. A world with Chillidogs and the two of them together. Forever.

But Nine can't ever grasp it, he can only claw and scrape the edges of it, he can only stare at it and make useless prayers for it to come to life. For once, Sonic's hope, his kindness, his friendship, but these normally good things only made things even more painful, even more hopeless, to the person who needs it the most.

And that's fucking traumatizing to think about.

Aw @000marie198, thank you!!

Sending these people hugs and wishes for them to have happiness and a wonderful day/night! Thank you for all the support and love! ^v^

@animatedjunkfood @staar-sr @howcouldtheyletmebeanadult @thatninjacat27 @shannonallaround @heckinconfusedparade @floette777 @fann1details @mrlouis @pandhora @brainworms-all-night-long @hearts4shadow2 and everyone else who decided to follow my blog of me just ranting about fandoms I'm obsessed with! <3

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😺

@waytoobsessed, @milk-powrit, @tessathegamefreak, @caleb13frede, @galacticmaham, @dib-thing-wannabe, @skeezpyuff, @lifeofamanhwareader, @turtty-froggy, @immagoholdup

"There is no light without shadow, and there is no happiness without pain"

This is the fox Sonic knew, a person so happy and cheerful it blinded him of cruel nostalgia, almost mocking him of something he used to have. Something precious, something you can only have once. And Nine never got to savor it, as it was taken by the cruel fists and harsh oppression of life. He turned jaded, covering the last purity he had under a shield of snark and hatred for the world he was forced to grow in.

This fox, who wore his tails proudly, letting them grow, never hiding them in a sleek metal cocoon, smiled a smile Nine longed to have again, their blue eyes shimmering with wonder as they gazed upon him, as if he was worth their curiosity, of such innocent curiosity.

Nine swallowed an odd lump in their throat, feeling that pain in his chest. And he hated it. All of that cheerfulness, that sweetness, that gentle, naive soul the fluffy fox gave the world when Nine never had a chance; he loathed all of it.

But this was the only way to even be in the same world as Sonic, this is the only way he can be with Sonic, the only way he can be alive. So he tolerated the fox. He wasn't buddy-buddy with him, but he tried not to be hostile or rude. He stayed aloof, despite wanting company so bad, he stayed snarky, no matter how much it made him want to kick himself, he stayed strong and fierce, because he didn't deserve comfort that was meant for someone else.

He stayed broken and in secret sorrow, because it's the only way to feel that he's his own person; because he's just the shadow of someone who's fixed and happy.