Existential Crisis - Tumblr Posts - Page 3

Do ever just like realize that you exist. And you're just like, 'I sit here, I exist, but for what purpose?' Because you're overwhelmingly aware of you're own existence.

Its 2:30 am and my currant thoughts include:

1. Victuuri but in a Hannibal au. Yuuri as Will and Victor as Hannibal (obviously), Yurio as (Abigail). The rest is upto interpretation and because I am very much biased, this is gonna be a no one (relatively) important dies *insert shit eating grin *

2. Should the saying be "just because you can doesn't mean you should" or "just bacuse you could doesn't mean you should"

3. Even if you are the greatest at a particular something doesn't account for the fact that in a parallel universe there would always be someone better than you. And if in that universe you are good at something else then in this universe there is someone better than your parallel self.

4. Do you ever think that Gods view themselves similar to religious cult leaders?

Too high in a standard to humans to block out the fact that they might as well be mortal in the infinite time of eternity, that no matter how hard they hide it they will never reach the status of a much higher entity.

Even if one doesn't exist, it's been so long that its easier to think there is a reward for their virtues and punishment for their sins to wash out the inevitable passage of time or mortality.

5. Should i heat up the donuts in the fridge now or eat them tomorrow after lunch.

This is so ...... thoughtful and scary at the same time lmao

Hello I need to share some existential crisis.

You know that in like 20 billions years the sun will probably be big enough to swallow our planet ?

But I think the craziest part about it in my opinion is that if there is still people in this far futur it mean that they will probably see mercury and Venus being eaten by the sun

i was right about you being a werewolf

🐺

I-

OK I gotta vent angrily right now.

As a brown/mixed person, I hate the other POC that don't see me as human. The ones who think I shouldn't exist or that I'm an invasion in their spaces because of my ethnic whiteness (I'm brown, I do not pass as white whatsoever).

I understand the need to tell me I still have some white privilege, but to tell me that my presence in this world is a stain on society isn't helping. Telling me that "race-mixing" (Whatever the fuck that Jim Crow shit is) is bad, is not helping. Telling me that I'm an enemy of culture and that I don't matter isn't, fucking, helping. I already have plenty of white people who want my head on a platter. WHY DO I NEED YOU BITCHES TO TELL ME I SHOULDN'T BE ALIVE?!

if i don’t grow up to be successful i will literally end everything

Existential Christmas.

Is this a thing?

I know im mainly a murder drones blog, but id like to talk about the amazing digital circus for a second. How its been growing onto me, and my thoughts about it.

(/srs trigger warning for mentions of existential terror, depression, relapsing, gender dysphoria, etc. literally just major hazard signs rn 😺😺)

Now im absolutely not saying that im gonna get hyperfixated on TADC now that murder drones is over. I dont think any shows going to top murder drones for at least a couple years. But undeniably, goose has had amazing writing for these 3 episodes.

"Why are you just NOW talking about tadc?"

I have rlly bad existential terror, which is why i personally avoid active interaction with the series/fanbase.

Now ever since i watched the pilot, ive always had a feeling that TADC had some underlying elements of mental illness, and episode 3 basically confirmed that for me. Now im not saying that the shows gonna have a big "Oh look when you love yourself anythings possible!!" or something like that. quite the opposite actually, i think this series js gonna show the rough and the gruff of mental illness. Anywho! here are some moments im trying to talk about right now are

1: Caine talking to zooble about how he might be bad at the only thing hes good at, while the world glitches out around them.

2: Kinger talking about how the best thing you can do in your life, is to love other people.

3: Zooble saying how no matter the parts they try on, theyve never found anything that makes them feel comfortable.

4: Pomnis constant existential dread throughout the series

Why do i wanna talk about these scenes in particular?

1: starting with Caines very obvious comment, i really sympathized with this one. Being told something even remotely along the lines of "your not good at something" can already be devastating. Especially when that something is your everything, the thing you wake up to do. The thing that keeps you going. When you dont have that something, it can feel like theres no point. you can feel like YOU have no point. I didn't want to get too personal on tumblr (especially on my main acc) but ive struggled with depression and existential terror for years, having something to always make me excited to do was what got me up and running, every single day. When i was told that something was pointless or i was bad at that something, it always either led me to an episode or relapsing. Having that accurately represented in media is HARD, its hard to even put into words. and goose did it with 2 lines of dialect.

2: Something thats always gotten me through, everything, was remembering nothing matters in the world besides the love i put into it. This isnt anything major like what i had to talk about with caines or the other moments, but this was something that probably would have left me feeling existential and scared without that reminder. The kinger development was real in this episode!!

3: Zooble has ALWAYS been great rep in TADC, but i really did like their B plot in this episode. Im a demigirl, demigirls are people who identify as girls but do not feel fully connected to the identity. If it's easier to understand, think of it like a mix of Female and Non Binary. Zooble HAS been confirmed as non binary, usually when a show does confirm someone's gender, its usually not a struggle we get to see them go through. We usually see them at a stage where they've already come to complete terms with their identity. Goose is ACTUALLY showing us some of zoobles daily struggles they go through. with no matter how many parts they try on, how much they change, they never feel fully comfortable. Watching this scene ACTUALLY got me emotional because ive felt this way too. No matter how much makeup i put on, or how many skirts and bows i wore, i never felt fully like a girl. And no matter how much i tried to hide my chest, or how much hair was put into a bun, i never felt fully androgynous. having a show that accurately represents that feels unreal.

4: Ever since the pilot, i knew existential dread was going to be a key aspect of this series. As a child, not knowing the term yet, i struggled with existential dread. Existential dread for those unaware of the term, is a feeling of anxiety or discomfort when thinking about lifes meaning. Now, older me, struggles with existential terror. For those unaware of that term, it is a term that refers to the cognitive and emotional experience of recognizing the inevitability of death, which is often accompanied by feelings of angst, isolation from others, and awareness of meaninglessness.

For a shorter explanation:

Existential Dread = Uneasy/Anxiety when questioned about the meaning of life

Existential Terror = Anxiety about the inevitably of death and the acceptance of meaninglessness

Existential terror and dread are NOT a package deal! you CAN have one without the other,

Though pomnis definitely on the Dread -> Terror pipeline, i do believe she hasnt showed enough fear about the inevitable for me to say she experiences both.

Regardless, this was one of the main reasons i was hyped for TADC when the pilot released, To get representation for something so big, so prominent in my everyday life i now consider apart of me to be in a INDIE ANIMATION?? let alone THE GLITCH PRODUCTIONS?? i was freaking hyped UP!

EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF THIS SERIES HAS DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB AT SHOWCASING THIS. the rep alone was what inspired me to create this post!

UNFINISHED POST!

REASON?? i got tired

WILL BE UPDATED!

I just want to like... exist

nobody:

me: *catches a glimpse of a bottle standing on the desk, forgotten by its owner and suddenly feels the existential crisis coming on and the deep feeling of understanding between me and the bottle washes over as I'm forced to pull my attention towards class again*

(Twelve is not the actual age she's turning, I changed that detail. But it gives you the general idea.)

So this evening my daughter was summarizing a chapter in a book, for school, and she goes

"So in, like, a week, when I turn twelve,"

And I went "WAIT, WHAT?!"

and she blithely carries on while I'm going

HOW? WHEN? WHAT? WHO ALLOWED THIS?!

After a minute it leaks outside my skull and I'm actually going "hnnnggg" out loud and my daughter goes "What's wrong?"

I decided to play it up slightly, because if you're going to have a crisis you may as well get some laughs out of it.

"How... baby big? Aaaaa was baby, not baby anymore, how?!"

And yeah.

She's laughing at me.

I don't understand why people give so much credit to my existence when all I want is to crawl in a dark corner and fade away.

However when you're almost screaming to get someone's attention because you need help no one hears you, no one even knows you're there because when you try to scream no sound comes out of your mouth.

Maybe we post on here to empty our mind so the void in our heart feels less lonely.

Never Mind

-a poem by yours truly (possibly incomplete)

never mind

never mind indeed

it’s the sad and lonely hour, shall we proceed?

the world seems darker, more colder than before

can you continue like this anymore?

never mind

never mind indeed

my dearest friend, are you in some need?

the will to go through might seem distant to you

but we all have our bad days, some go off in rue

never mind

never mind indeed

this isn’t a prison, but you’re yearning to be freed

the skies seem higher, the ones you hoped to reach

better alone in our own misery than to pray for one to each

Sometimes I'm alone

sometimes I'm not..

hello??

Cuphead doodles

someone: are u ok? me: i've finished my book someone: so are u- me: NO I'M NOT.

Decades Doever

A little idea I had laying in my bed. The basic thought process was: Ninjago's two characters who have literally been sent to a realm to rot in for literal DECADES. Morro, who's already struggling with his own exile from the departed realms finds a manipulated Zane and manipulator Vex. I mean both of them can't grow too old, and Morro probably would want a redemption for his deeds, the white ninja may be his path to doing it. Zane is interested in the departed realm, hearing that Morro is from it (even if it's not in the most pretty ways), it intrigues him to learn more about the former ghost, and how he may see his father one day. More Info underneath the cut!

Morro's literal backstory Once an elemental master dies they can not only see their family in the departed realm, but if they are not blood related nor can remember their family (cough cough, Zane), they can also meet the departed elemental masters that came before them. The little groupings of elemental masters hold great power, having the ability to traverse the 16 realms but regarded as something different than a ghost, more similar to a peaceful spirit or aura passing by. Unable to be seen by the living, sometimes depending on their mental will having the ability to converse in dreams and visions. When Morro finally get's sent to the Departed realm, as an orphan and being 50+ years old he cannot simply remember his family, so he get's sent and transported to the elemental grouping of Wind Masters. They don't like him. And so after a rather horrid argument the elders, the first elemental master of wind (FMOF), decides to send them down to never-realm, being previously used as a waste deposal of other Elemental Master's (more than just wind) that have gone "rogue" in the Departed Realm. The FMOF graced some mercy to Morro, convening with one of the form masters in order to see that they could return him in some sort of ghostly form, if they sent them down there as is, it would result him becoming living once more. Morro being the wonderous human (ish) being he is stumbles across this conversation, eaves dropping and taking notes. So when the final ritual(?) takes place he lashes out and does his best to ruin the spell, the only thing being that: 1. It works 2. He's not alive, and instead, has been merged with the storm. There he goes barreling down into the artic wasteland that provides an abundance of wind and storms to command, but despite the feast-like appearance of power and his element, Morro knows and regards this as a banishment. Dude got banished from death itself.

How Zane is connected in any of this Being also wonderfully banished and sent to the Never-Realm (via: Aspheera, Nacho Snake lady) he is also lost on his way. The only canon divergence or well difference being, when he's holding a staff he can feel another, stronger, rivaling, presence. Zane tries his best to fix the mech and eventually get's memory wiped by Vex. Back to the main plot line Morro additionally the counteracting sensation of another elemental power, and although it's not as strong as he isn't a master of Spinjitzu, he still senses it and decides to drift off on a storm cloud in that direction. Reaching the cave just when Zane plugs himself into the mech, disregarding the staff in general (in this AU I don't think young Wu would've told him about it), being confused in the slightest before getting a rush of Lloyd's memories he intercepted during possession of the titanium ninja, and dashing away behind the mech when he hears Vex's footsteps. Watching the whole exchange happen before his eyes, he decides to step in at the last moment, using his cool (very new) lightning powers. Being a somewhat super battle with the staff that he's honestly wonders how the ninja got a hold of, and his amplified form. During the exchange he does lay hands upon the staff and his powers go A-wire, somewhat breaks space and time, smacks Zane in the noggin to regain select memories. Vex fleeing the scene and barely recovering Zane prying Morro; who's form and right hand is practically melding into the staff, away from the supercharged stick. Although both mutually dislike each other they suppose they are both in the predicament of needing company for the days, weeks, and unbeknown to them, years to come. Morro not knowing how robotics or in general any mechanics in Zane works, opts for the: I'll just sit here and regret my decision as my partial robot friend has a reoccuring flashbacks for several decades while having an ongoing existential crisis I am little help to. Zane does believe Morro holds some interesting tales and description on, why and specifically how both are here. Morro just thinking it's something he can do to make up for acts, probably go see Lloyd (despite him probably bolting as soon as he see's the green gi), and maybe just maybe get somehow reaccepted back into the departed realms.

NG+ but only Maruki remembers what happened