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Okay so you know the drill,, there's a gala! Wow Bruce Wayne is so dreamy 😍 he's a whore 🥵 he's a dad 🥰 he's a- oh shit he's a hostage 😳

Everyone looks around frantic and scared but also... not really... cause ya know... this happens like every Wayne gala? Like they had to sign a slip saying that Wayne Inc isn't liable for any injuries during a possible takeover cause the Board was tired of people sneaking in just to sue after being shot by Ozzie's umbrella gun (it was just a graze 🙄) (Bruce pays for them all anyway)

But! This time Damian was in his arms when he was taken hostage! Extra collateral! How tragic! He's just a poor boy ;(

The corners have shadows of course and next thing you know- through a series of odd instances that are totally irrelevant to the story (oh his other children must be so scared! Must have hid under the tables since no one saw them,, how terribly sad) -a few of Gotham's vigilantes show up to save the day! (Is it 9 already?)

Alas! a goon (he's new, he's blue, he'll shoot himself in the shoe 🎶) gets startled and almost shoots poor defenseless Damian Wayne and oh Bruce becomes a real papa bear and slams his fist into the goons face-

"No." He practically growls- which uh Brucie can growl? A spattering of confusion goes around the room before a laughing Red Hood can be heard after checking on the goon-

"Damn! Good job papi!"

Everyone in the room pauses.

Did the Red Hood... just call Brucie Wayne Papi? The Red Hood, the anti-hero of unknown age who just recently obtained the praise of the city for taking down the recent baddie with the Gotham sirens when all the other bats seemed to be out of town?

A million ideas pass through the thoughts of the elite in attendance.

A million thoughts pass through Jason who just realized what he said after seeing that Goon Lagoon lost his front teeth.

He looks to Nightwing and in state of panic they speak to each other in a way that only panicking siblings who can't speak can share-

'You done fucked up,' Dick seems to say with a twitch of his eyebrow.

'Obviously, you stupid idiot, but how do I fix it,' Jason responds practically psychically with a tilt of his head.

Dick just looks at him in pity, and with a shake of his head, he stares into his little brother's soul with the plan

-of course nobody else hears this conversation,, everyone in the room just watches the two vigilantes stare at each other weirdly for a few seconds (theyre on complete opposite sides of the room? There is not a single shred of subtle about them having a mental conversation even if nobody knows what it's about) before a look a pure absolute disgust reveals itself across Red Hood's masked face (he threw his helmet for fun earlier in the battle not important) before settling into a neutral stiffness.

Solemnly devastated, like he's about to go off to war and his Beau will be left behind to be cared for by his evil brother who will no doubt try to take advantage of his estate,,

or like a teenager being told by an acquaintance that they found their old elementary school YouTube account with videos of them role-playing with their Littlest Pet Shop animals,,

or like when a mother writes a 12k story for her fandom during her toddlers nap time only for the child not only to wake up before expected but also somehow spill applejuice all over her laptop (the one she's had since she was a teen) shorting it and deleting the story because she didn't press save on top of being morbidly tired from lack of sleep-

He looks up and says with clarity in his voice even if it's also filled with the verbal equivalent of eating 4 lemons raw and slow- peel and all,

"That's what I call him in bed."

Everyone in The Know takes psychic damage.

The elite in the crowd do little more than nod before moving on.

Bruce just smiles big and fake and pretends like he doesn't want to die.

Red Hood looks at his gun with wistfullness, while Nightwing does an unnecessary amount of acrobatics along the chandeliers above them just to land next to him and pat him on the shoulder.

Later, an anonymous commenter spoke about hearing Damian Wayne whisper to himself, "I hate this fucking family," as Timothy Drake-Wayne (who appeared miraculously safe and sound) gave him a nod of agreement.

When the door opens, a lot of thoughts rush through Tim's head at lightning speed. If any telepaths were near, he's sure his mind would have given them mental whiplash because he felt like he was going Mach 20 from what the fuck to a very natural oh my god Bruce is going to fuck this up and ending up at I know exactly what to do in about five seconds.

A haughty looking Prince watched them with a straight spine and a scowl on his lips as he stood- proudly, happily, next to Talia Al Ghul who looks just as royal and proud beside him.

"I thought you'd be taller, Father."

If anything was different- anything at all, he's sure this scenario would have gone wrong.

Had Tim been any less prepared then he was anyways.

Because Tim is not oblivious to the fact that as Bruce has already allowed three children into his life in the past- it would make sense that Bruce would follow the trend and collect more as time went on.

Tim is prepared. He lived alone for the first thirteen years of his life wishing for a younger sibling to watch over and he has made plans for every scenario that he could possibly conceive.

His plans got even more convoluted as he joined the Wayne family and he promised himself that his relationship with his successor would be the best in the family because he wants to win at being a big brother.

He has been training for this his entire life.

So when Bruce- oh poor emotionally constipated Bruce who deflects big emotions with anger -looks at Talia with fire in his eyes at what Tim is sure is a valid anger about having a very clearly his child hidden from him for a decade opens his mouth, Tim does the smart thing and slaps his hand over Bruce's mouth without any hesitation or care.

Talia lifts an eyebrow in amusement as the young Prince's eyes widen fractionally in surprise.

Bruce goes back to being a still life painting in real life as he looks at him intently.

Tim does not care and looks at him sweetly in a way he knows that Bruce knows means that he'll tranq him if he doesn't think about his words.

Batman was very out of it when Tim became Robin.

Tim read a parenting book and decided boundaries were very important in a caretaker situation.

(Yes, Tim considers himself the caretaker in this situation. He thinks it's funny.)

(Bruce did not find it funny after being tranqed for the fifth time, but he could never find all the tranqs.)

"Bruce. Isn't it so wonderful that Talia has created such a gift to the world? It's almost like welcoming a child with love is a much higher priority than whatever you were about to say."

Bruce's left hand twitches in such a subtle way that allows Tim, who knows his partner very well from the past few years, to know that Bruce was surprised.

Tim nods acceptingly before giving Bruce his ability to speak back, and smiling at their guests nicely and genuinely.

Nodding his head to each in greeting, "Ms. Talia, Prince. Please come in for some tea."

He pretends not to notice the barely there shuffle of the Prince's right foot wanting to hide behind his mother, nor does he linger on the vaguest tightening of Talia's hand on her son's shoulder as she glances around them casually.

She smiles at him, politely sharp. She actually reminds Tim of his own mother- weilding the twitch of her lips like it could cut deeper than any hidden dagger.

"That sounds lovely."

The Joker Should Choke

I've seen a few posts about how even if Jason got Bruce to kill the Joker it wouldn't change anything because what happened to Jason still happened and nothing can change the past and like... maybe? But I can't help but completely disagree!!

The thing is, what happened to Jason was terrible and traumatic and horrible, but not everything is about trying to fix him and his past lol

In the PRESENT time, the RIGHT NOW, he is a scared traumatized teenager who has to hear about his murderer (abuser) on the news get away with more murders and abuse!

Do you know what I did when I was a scared traumatized teenager to my abuser? I stood over him with a knife in my hand for twenty minutes while he was sleeping trying to convince myself to set myself and my siblings free before falling into a deep depression that lasted years because he not not only ruined my life- but also ruined my morality after giving me the ability to feel such deep hatred that I was willing to kill to be free.

The will to kill is not something you're born with; it's something cultivated through time.

I was (and still am) against the death penalty, but after a Big Event, it shifted and I gained the understanding of 'oh I won't do it but I understand'.

I did not kill him. But I did get wildly depressed and mood swingy which with Jason I'm sure would have been (and was!) even worse for a few years due to the pit.

And then he died. A heart attack, I was upstairs at the time doing school online and I came downstairs to see his dead body and I cheered before calling 911.

Is that sane and healthy and normal? Not in the least!

But he was gone! I was free! Is it terrible because all human life has a worth? Sure! But on the other hand, as soon as he died I felt like I was finally able to breathe because he could never hurt me or anyone else ever again.

Now not everyone reacts the same way to trauma of course but I can't help but think murdering Joker would actually change everything.

Because it's not (just) about the fact that he died and the world kept going. Because the thing is, if he stayed dead, that's what would have happened! Because the world keeps going!

But he came back! He came back from hell and beyond just to be stuck in the exact! Same! Place! Of being the scared traumatized teen he was right before he died! Hell to hell! He didn't even get a chance to be free! To breathe!

As soon as my abuser died, I felt like I could breathe and relax for the first time in forever! Did it fix my depression immediately? Fuck no! But I got better and better without a cinder block chained to my ankle!

I fully support Bruce not killing the Joker because Bruce can't kill or he will break! But when Joker does die? When he is murdered or drops dead? I can't help but believe a part of Jason will be able to breathe again and start to move on. Because maybe some people can just leave the situation and start the process of moving on- but the weight would still be there. It'll always be there until it's suddenly gone and maybe it doesn't change anything for some people- but for me I felt brand new.

Sick!Dick is so sick and uncomprehensible and he just keeps crying and sobbing and asking for "his little worm" and everyone's low key panicking because nothings working until Tim walks in, sighs, and is like "tis I, Little Worm" and after Dick grabs him like a teddy bear he finally calms down

Thinking about @pennywaynes version of alfred/martha/thomas and I can't help but think that of all the current members, none of them really remind me of that version of Thomas but Alfred probably sees Martha a lot in Stephanie

Which brings up the very hilarious interaction of:

Alfred, staring at Stephanie flirting with Tim who's very obviously fond and looking up at her every now and then, but still continuing to code on his computer and missing the fact that Stephanie has managed to steal all 14 of his pens in the process: *sighs fondly* just like old times...

Bruce, surprised and looking over: oh? How so?

Tim and Stephanie looking up to see if they're about to hear another Snippet of the Life of Alfred: !!!

Alfred, still fond but a mile away: Ms. Brown reminds me of Martha more and more everyday...

Bruce, Tim, and Stephanie all freezing with wide eyes: WHAT

For Tim and Bruce's relationship, I would like to see more "He's not my dad" and "he's not my son" but completely no angst about it

Like, just cause Tim had parents that werent the best doesn't mean he wants another one lmao (his parents didnt die until 15ish and like obviously he should have an adult to supervise him but its old enough to be emancipated in some states for a reason- not everyone needs a parent) and Bruce very clearly at the time was not ready for another son so I think they should just be friends

They take care of each other! They love each other! But why does it have to turn so violently paternal out of the blue like damn why can't people of wildly different ages just be besties???

At some point in time Damian or someone else says something along the lines of "he (bruce) CHOSE all of you, he was STUCK with me" and I feel like Tim should be allowed to be really offended cause "Excuse YOU *I* chose HIM, he didn't choose ME... and I think about that choice everyday..." with a very offended "hey!" In the background from Bruce lol

For Tim and Bruce's relationship, I would like to see more "He's not my dad" and "he's not my son" but completely no angst about it

Like, just cause Tim had parents that werent the best doesn't mean he wants another one lmao (his parents didnt die until 15ish and like obviously he should have an adult to supervise him but its old enough to be emancipated in some states for a reason- not everyone needs a parent) and Bruce very clearly at the time was not ready for another son so I think they should just be friends

They take care of each other! They love each other! But why does it have to turn so violently paternal out of the blue like damn why can't people of wildly different ages just be besties???

Young, neglected characters aren't always incompetent at taking care of themselves

I know it's not what some of you want to hear, but- despite the perfect savior concept of getting them into a batter family- that doesn't mean that

A. They even WANT to be 'saved' and

B. That they aren't doing a decent job at taking care of themselves

The thing about having independence at a young age, is that you learn pretty quickly at least the basics or you fail

If you make it too obvious while going to school (esp elementary but also middle), you will be caught

If you don't have a supply of food or the ability to make food, you will be caught (either by police or any adult) or very sick and THEN die or caught

If you change attitudes and routines completely and suddenly, you will be noticed and possibly caught

NEGLECTED KIDS WHO LAST MORE THAN A FEW DAYS KNOW THIS (even if subconsciously)

"Saving the poor baby" is good for children who are just recently out on their own (think a couple weeks, maybe a couple months if you stretch it)

But a couple years??? I'm sure a few children would like someone to take care of them but most of them (while also maybe yearning for the same) would rather not and I'll tell you three big reasons why:

Nobody noticed that they needed help when they truly needed it, regardless of the fact that they hid it with all their power, ergo others are not to be trusted because they do not care.

And/or

It has been like for as long as they remember and change that drastic is hard for any adult let alone a child to imagine.

And/or

They are perfectly capable of keeping themselves alive and do not need outside help (this can be a statement of truth, misleasing pride, or fear of change/other people)

"Wanting to save them" may result in anger at the idea that they are incompetent, especially if the child has been taking care of themselves for so long. Cause regardless of age, children have always been resilient and adaptable and capable.

Not every child will be saved from a bad situation and they know that. Children aren't stupid, and they aren't stupid to assume they can take care of themselves when so many have had to in the past and will have to in the future.

An Alternative:

Stop the narrative of "saving them" from such a terrible way of life (the only life they've known or have known for a long while).

START doing more of those skittish, feral, alley cat things where you either gain the characters trust and learn to be a family with TIME or you just like straight up steal the baby and live with the fact that your going to have a lot of screaming and scratching and broken belongings for a few weeks until the baby learns to feel sort of safe or makes an escape lol

I think Tim and Bart should have a personality switch. As a treat

Sorry but if someone beat me ALMOST to death with a crowbar, and then I died in an explosion (and then came back to life obvi) I'd be sooooo annoyed if I made a beat to death by a crowbar joke and someone was like um actually it was the smoke inhalation from the explosion that did you in- like I'm sorry bitchboy but I think the crowbar with hours of torture was a bit more everlasting in the memory than the few seconds of explosion

*on a mission*

Character A: *ends up in a situation* okay this person is into some Stuff can someone do some research into bdsm or equivalent?

Character B: *cracks knuckles, no hesitation* well you see- *does an entire VERY specific spiel about the different aspects of bdsm* -and that's about the general idea.

Everyone:

Character A:

Character B:

Character A: *swallows thickly* so um. Any first hand experience?

Character B: *completely stoic* Focus on the mission, A.

Almost as good as when Paparazzi (lady gaga) started playing on a Tim Drake playlist

Almost There (princess and the frog) started playing on a fullmetal alchemist playlist and I about died giggling to myself

What if Jason did the whole shtick of "wow another Robin huh? You'd think the old bats would think better of it after the last one kicked it" and then Tim is dead faced pissed and punches him in the face and goes "Don't ever talk about my dead girlfriend like that again" and Jason's just bluescreens cause wat

That's hilarious 😂😂😂

I drew @an-entity-i-think 's post

If I see one more white Cassandra Cain I'm blowing up every chuck e cheese in the milky way