Do I Even Want To Know - Tumblr Posts
KIA RAMBLES WHOOOOO, INCLUDES VENT LOL jfkfudgdf WARNING: MOOD SWINGS (I THINK) check tags before just in case???
Man, you know, I certainly picked this life because of writing. I just love thinking of my stories. Yapping and rambling about them with that one girl, Posting my rambles on my Instagram stories like:
THAN THOSE ARE MY THREE FRIENDS, I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THEM (THO I BARELY EVER COMMUNICATE WITH THE CAT PHOTO ONE) I HAVE MORE FRIENDS. I EVEN SOMEHOW MANAGED TO BE FRIENDS WITH A BOY THAT I HAD A FRIEND CRUSH ON. And I am the ‘shy kid’ in class so that’s shocking. (I am not the shy kid, I just stay in my lane. I do presentations well)
Like no one expect the one in the middle has any idea on what in the dictionary of womanary am I talking about (Making my own words because I am too lazy)
I love this. I love talking about writing. I love being proud of my writing. I love being insecure of it because at least I feel some emotions hah- It boosts up my ego too.
Like do you ever write something so good you are like- Oh my…. I think I just… created an Ao3 level piece of art.
I was sulking, on the verge of depression. Couldn’t show an inch of emotion to my mother who had let me eat my favourite lunch meal (I really don’t allow myself to get attach to her because I don’t wanna be hurt again and again but I feel like such a bad person. So I sometimes utter ‘I love you’ when I don’t mean it, and for some reason in makes me want to pull my heart out of my chest.) Even though I am not supposed to eat anything unhealthy because I just recovered from Typhoid and my body has extremely low blood.
Writing makes me alive. Alive. Alive. It distracts me. Takes me away from this life, reading other stories isn’t exactly the same. I usually can’t keep up, I feel anxious. Reading makes me realise I am wasting time and could be doing something much much more productive. Finals are in 1 month and 5 days and I studied nothing. It’s draining me. I should go and do it, but… ugh I can’t explain it’s irritating. Father says a lot of things. He would say I don’t have Control over my own life in a spooky scary way that will traumatise me for the rest of my life. He would say something about my health, he recently said that I had a mentality of a six year old; he will say how I am not controlling my mind. And stuff like that. Believe in yourself, that I very well do. It’s much worse that way actually, because you know how much potential you have, yet you are wasting it.
I am tired, I don’t have time. My room is cleaned, yet I feel empty. I am so so tired yet I do nothing. I am too write. I am lazy I suppose. I should be studying. None of the tricks and tips I leaned from online works. I need energy. Something. Actually no, I am too tired to even handle anything. Maybe I should sleep, but I am not sleepy, and sleeping will mess me up more because of the guilt for losing time. How ironic, as if I won’t be wasting my time on reels or sth.
saw this tweet and i laughed so
ask meme: tell me what my top 3 kinks are based on my art??