Disabled People Helping Disabled People - Tumblr Posts

I've almost finished with training and start working independently in a week. I'm providing in home care to disabled people. At the moment I have one main client. I like her a lot and I feel really lucky.

At work, feeling very awkward bc my client has refused breakfast and morning shower. Normally once both are done I'm supposed to clean but it doesn't make sense to clean the bathroom before we do the shower. So I'm sitting here looking like a slacker on my phone because I've done the dishes and idk if I should prepare lunch when she hasn't had breakfast. 😬 I'm pretty sure this is because it's my first day on my own with her, so she's resistant. I believe in following her lead (she's very limited in her ability to communicate so that can be challenging to work out) but I also don't want the family to think I'm a dud. Maybe I'll see if there's any white vinegar to clean the shower doors.

Starting my second independent shift today (before I would have a partner as I learned on the job). Yesterday was Rough. I hope today goes smoother. In any case it's a 6 hour shift rather than 12 like yesterday. What makes it all harder is the family member who lives with my client. She stresses me out. Yesterday the one thing that worked with Hope (not her real name) was reading to her from her Bible. The family member said it was too loud and I did it too much. I get that it's her home too, and I'll try to read more quietly, for sure, but like, Hope refused *everything else*. She's essentially trapped in her body, as she's totally paralyzed on the right and has minimal use of her left. She can only say ok/no. She didn't want to shower, didn't want to leave her bed, didn't want her radio, everything was resistance and "no." I see myself as her hands and body while I'm here. What she wants, goes. But FM wants other things and I want to be on her good side, too. I just hope it gets easier as we go along, cause otherwise I can't sustain it and I'll have to ask for another client.

Day 3. Yesterday went pretty well, especially since I got done at one thirty. But even before, Hope was much more relaxed and ready to do the routines. Today started off with the table in my room collapsing. My mug, full of coffee, broke. That got me started later than I wanted but in the end I got to work with ten minutes to spare so I can't complain. My foot scooter, which I use when I'm not on the bus/tram as is common here, refuses to let me fold it though so that's less than ideal. I've done my best to tuck it into a corner; fingers crossed it won't annoy Victoria (fake name for Hope's family member). Hope is awake but didn't agree to breakfast or hygiene. She wanted some water and for me to sit with her. I suspect she really wants me to read to her but Victoria is asleep on the couch (probably it was a rough night for Hope) and I do Not want to wake her up. What would be nice is if Hope went back to sleep for a couple of hours. She did that yesterday which I think contributed a lot to her relaxed mood.

Starting my second independent shift today (before I would have a partner as I learned on the job). Yesterday was Rough. I hope today goes smoother. In any case it's a 6 hour shift rather than 12 like yesterday. What makes it all harder is the family member who lives with my client. She stresses me out. Yesterday the one thing that worked with Hope (not her real name) was reading to her from her Bible. The family member said it was too loud and I did it too much. I get that it's her home too, and I'll try to read more quietly, for sure, but like, Hope refused *everything else*. She's essentially trapped in her body, as she's totally paralyzed on the right and has minimal use of her left. She can only say ok/no. She didn't want to shower, didn't want to leave her bed, didn't want her radio, everything was resistance and "no." I see myself as her hands and body while I'm here. What she wants, goes. But FM wants other things and I want to be on her good side, too. I just hope it gets easier as we go along, cause otherwise I can't sustain it and I'll have to ask for another client.

My job as an in home caregiver would be exhausting anyway, but being second guessed, criticized, and sometimes even abruptly accosted makes me a nervous wreck. I remain convinced my client's adult daughter, Victoria (not her real name) means we'll, at least when it comes to her mother. However, she seems to have developed a lot of ideas about me not based in reality; mainly that I judge her and find her lacking. Another family member took me aside and told me to assert myself more. I didn't contradict her but the fact is, every time I've tried to do so Victoria takes it in whatever way would validate the idea that I view her in the worst possible light. Example: Hope, my client, has very limited ability to speak, but her cognitive ability is unharmed. I showed her a clip of sign language which she expressed enthusiasm about. I stopped it when some guests arrived. I then noted this down in the notebook all the caregivers write in. Victoria read it and confronted me. What did I mean, "guests"? They were family members and I guess she was affronted that I called them guests. Then she also dismissed the idea of trying to use sign language with Hope. Like, there I was, taking some initiative... I'm losing my mind here.

I've entered a new phase with my client, Hope (not her real name) that I'm trying to understand. The first day I came was rough. I was eager to do the things I'd be placed with her to do: get her up, help her shower, get dressed, have breakfast, and so on. She reacted by resisting strongly, so I quickly learned never to push her and let her choose what we do and when as much as possible. We had a couple of weeks where most of the time, we got along very well. We even had a couple of touching moments of sincere connection. Hope has very limited language but she's not cognitively impaired and can say no and ok. So when I phrase things as yes or no questions I can find out what she wants.

For about a week now, though, she's been very resistant and angry. I don't know why, exactly, of if this represents a true change. Could be we had a kind of honeymoon period and now that's worn off. Or maybe she's now comfortable enough with me to express anger and unhappiness. Or, as it presents, she's angry at me for real and I've done or am doing something that's bothering her.

Meanwhile I'm getting better with all the techniques, so the last option isn't easy to pinpoint, if that's the true cause of her resistance and frustration. Of course I've tried asking her but this sort of guessing game, where I exhaust all the most likely problems and move on to wild speculation, has always annoyed the hell out of her.

Right now she needs a change and the bed is only going to get wetter and less comfortable, but she won't let me do anything. I've offered every option I can think of and she says no to everything.

I hope I figure this out soon.

Overall today has been a good day at work except it's been nonstop and I am WORN OUT