Coping Mechanisms - Tumblr Posts

coping mechanisms are weird

my one is projecting my trauma onto minecraft block man doing rp

help

Did all readers grow obsessed with books because they just liked it so much or majorly because it helped them escape unpleasant realities which turned into an unhealthy avoidant coping mechanism that ultimately did more good than harm?

I'm realising that's what I was doing the whole time and have yet to understand what those unpleasant realities even where.

For those of you who have actually been to therapy, I have a question - where there instances when you realized that something that happened or something someone did actually deeply hurt you only after your therapist explained it to you?

Fandom analysis and "activism" are healthy and indeed important to a point, and will almost always relate to you or your beliefs on a personal level, but if you're at the point where you can no longer objectively approach a discussion or fandom as a whole, or you're at the point where you cannot separate fandom and your real life, you need to take a step back.

If you're at the point where you're spending the majority of your time relating to fandom doing nothing but complaining and getting in arguments and treating fandom spaces like warzones and protests, you need to take a step back.

If you're blatantly making up things that are non-existent in canon just to be angry about it, you need to take a step back.

And just to clarify; taking a step back in okay. Its not a bad thing, and its absolutely not meant to be an insult. Sometimes we just get to caught up in something we need breathing room to be able to readjust ourselves and realign ourselves, and that's a perfectly valid, normal, human thing. We often use fandom spaces as outlets, but if its reached the point where you have an unhealthy obsession with negativity in those spaces, its no longer good for you. Its no longer just an outlet, its a feeding loop of toxicity.

Remember lost loved ones however you like and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for not being over it, even if they passed twenty years ago and you still cry on the anniversary. Grieve freely. Honor the dead.

friendly reminders:

you don't have to be productive every day

you are worthy even if all you did today was get out of bed

there are people out there who care about you

your existence makes a difference

if something bothers you, then it bothers you. no one has the right to tell you otherwise

you are allowed to take up space

there is no 'right way' to grieve

you cannot put a time limit on emotions

your likes and interests are valid and they matter

it's okay to take your time in doing things. not everyone can do everything at the same pace

Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

HOLY SHIT, SOUP *STILL* DRAWS?

I love them

exams.

alright so i’ve just finished up my finals and i’ve ended the week feeling like a total piece of shit and a freaking wreck because i didn’t have anybody to give me a slap in the face and tell me to get my act together since everybody i know does the exact same thing as me- procrastinate until the day before the exam and then try not to burst into tears when you can’t decide if you should bubble in answer A or answer C as the answer to “how does ray bradbury utilize paradox in ‘a sound of thunder’”

of course all you peeps on tumblr are incredibly important and with this post, i’d like to provide a bit of knowledge on the importance of studying, prioritizing, and self-care when it comes to your exams. 

obviously trying to juggle your looming tests and homework while also trying to balance a social life is difficult. it’s tiring. it’s stressful. more often than not, you want to give up and just watch the office on netflix. we have to make the best of our time.

first thing you should do?

make a time chart ! ! !

timing will save you when it comes to finals. sometimes having so much time after school can be a problem. you don’t know what to do with it, how to prioritize, and how much time you should be spending on a certain task. the overwhelming realization that i can literally do WHATEVER i want with my time usually leads to me choosing to just spend 6 hours on microsoft paint and then realizing it’s 10 pm and i haven’t studied for my AP Euro exam. if you work out a timetable for your after school hours, you’ll be able to allocate a certain amount of time for all of your activities (work, homework, REST, studying, eating !!!, and fun timez). allow yourself to schedule breaks in between all of your activities so that you don’t drop dead after spending three hours reading shakespeare sonnets or trying to memorize the timeline of the french revolution. in these breaks, you can make yourself a snack, binge on rookiemag.com, have a dance party to twenty one pilots (we are blessed to be born in a time period with twenty one pilots). if you feel like any of these things will turn a 10 minute break into a 6 hour one, check out the app nag which alerts you when you’re spending too much time on dan howell’s youtube channel. by creating a timetable, you’ll alleviate a huge portion of stress from your life and feel more organized with how you go about things!

do not allow yourself to get side tracked ! ! !

honestly, think about it. people can live up to what- 60 years? 70 years? you have all the time in the world to go on netflix and watch orange is the new black or scroll down your tumblr dashboard. you don’t, however, have 60 and 70 years to study for exams. you actually only have the few weeks before the actual test. Self Control- also known as Cold Turkey for microsoft users is for anyone that can’t be trusted with an internet connection. you add a list of your guilty pleasure websites to the blacklist and then set how long you want this app to work for you and for that duration of time, you literally will not be able to access any of these websites. you can reboot your computer, uninstall the app, and you still cannot access your blacklist until the time is up. focusbar, an app similar to nag, is basically the annoying mom “have you done your homework?” voice in tech form. this will keep you focused on school; not finding the rarest pepe meme.

sleep ! ! !

sleep is a very big deal. it’s when your body gets to recharge, cool down, and dream about harry styles caressing you in a cafe somewhere beautiful like france. while studying is important, letting your body rest should be a priority too. you cannot prepare for an exam at the height of your potential if you body is not at it’s full potential. on the timetable you create, make a set time for when you will pack up your textbooks, no matter what point you are at, and let yourself prepare for bed. i find that long showers and reading with the lights dimmed really help me get drowsy so that i’m not lying in the sheets awake for five hours. 

figure out your preferences ! ! !

not everybody studies the same way. one individual might find themselves getting history a lot better in a dark room with bon iver playing in the background while the other finds themselves really understanding the battle of trafalgar on their porch while jamming 2 ariana grande. figure out if you prefer a dull roar in the background or absolute silence. dim lights or bright lights. study groups or isolation. if you like noise, check out websites like https://coffitivity.com/ to create some background sounds or make a playlist on 8tracks! just remember that how you study might not be how others study and it’s important to personalize your routine so that you’re working at your highest potential.

and most importantly; SELF CARE ! ! !

this is the most important thing in the world. in the end, no A+ or 4.0 GPA is worth your happiness. if you find yourself bursting into tears in the middle of studying or feeling like the world is going to end, you need to stop. that good grade is going to mean nothing if you aren’t happy enough to enjoy it. you might think that an A will make you feel better, that it’ll make all the pain feel worth it, but pressuring yourself that much will make you just feel empty once you get the grade you want because you’ve been drained of any sort of emotion besides stress. do! not! let! yourself! become! a! bomb! take care of yourself. bathe with some radical lush products, light some candles, facetime the most annoying person in the world besides yourself (aka ur bestie)- do anything to get your mind off of school if you’re close to a breaking point. i personally like to play on webkinz while eating pizza (i am an adult i promise). 

i hope this helped you amigas chicas. keep these tips in mind and finals will crushed by your awesome studying powers; you will GET that A and feel good while getting it.

(inspiration pulled from peachymagazine.tumblr.com !)

send an ask for advice requests!

Hii,

Here are a few asks for Atsuha: 🎈, 🥩 and 🍄!

Wishing you an amazing day!

Thank you, same to ya! Let's see...

🎈I do like parties, but depending on the type I can be both wallflower and party animal. The second one is more likely to happen when I'm with friends.

🥩 It's definitely not a healthy coping mechanism, but I use my masking more than I should. I also constantly underestimate my stress bucket's capacity.

🍄 I never really camped, actually. Just indoors, with blanket forts and a table picnic. But actually going out and camping, never tried. I wonder if Kiyo-kun has some tips...