Bellamy X Reader - Tumblr Posts

someone make a fanfic where y/n is upset about lexa dead because they were really good friends (like childhood) and bellamy is there for the reader.... OMG i cannot write it because i will execute it terribly

secrets out. bellamy blake x reader

summary 🛁: alie gets under the skin of everyone, even the ones who seem the most shut off

warning/s 🚽: swearing, depression, talks of miscarriage, and gif not mine, angst

slater’s note 🪞: season three truly was the best season. this is... dramatic? it has potential but i gave up.

it was your turn.

alie crossed all of them off like a list. one by one, mind fucking them until they couldn’t handle it.

mind manipulation, you knew all about it and you were certain that it wasn’t something you could be so easily affected by. you had met a lot of people, had a lot of boyfriends, and friends, and even your own parents who enjoyed getting into your head with simple words that made you feel guilty or sick to your stomach. 

you were sure she couldn’t get into yours. 

“hello, sweetheart,” raven quirked her head, already analyzing you and your current mood. “see they finally brought in the big guns.”

you humph in amusement with lips slightly twitching upward as you made your way to one of the boxes that sat close to raven. you were hoping to rest, put your mind to ease as you sat before her, not expecting much to come from her mouth since you were a closed book. 

clarke and jasper were practically left open and begging to be read as they sized up to raven with their emotions still filling their eyes to the brim. they were easy targets, easy to tear down, and easy to extract a fit from. 

and although bellamy seemed just as shut off as you, he really wasn’t. bellamy had so many problems shoved in the back of his mind that they begun to pile and overflow. and with anger issues compiled from unsettled issues in his past; he was just as much as an easy target as they were.

everyone hits rock bottom, but not all get to face the humiliation of others also realizing and coming to spit in your face.. a plan alie was hoping to put in motion, she just had to bait you first.

“you’ve always been the smart one,” she slightly twisted her head, raven’s eyes dark and filled with a conscious that wasn’t her own. “always thought for the better of others.. never yourself,” she shook her head and you could tell by the way her eyes slightly squinted she had something up her sleeve.

you were intrigued.

“so.. selfless and yet you’re always blamed for every problem that comes up. why do you let that happen, y/n?”

you tilted your head to the side, not exactly finding truth in the last of her words, you had never felt blamed, and if anyone was a scape goat, it’d be murphy. but you still found yourself listening, eating up the lie like a story.

“which is why i’m confused as to.. why you took the chip..” her face screwed up and at the sudden words you inhaled sharply knowing very well everyone heard her words just as you did. “i mean, y/n, as much as a smart decision that was, it was a rather selfish thing of you to do, don’t you think?”

you kept your mouth shut, knowing this wasn’t the last of her words. she had a plan of some kind, she was still trying to get into your head and she felt so close by the way she had just watched you adjust yourself in the slightest way possible.

“like i said before,” you mumbled, “your chip didn’t work.”

“that’s too bad, isn’t it?” she whispered, almost taunting you, “whatever’s hurting you must be something real bad with how brave and strong you are, or—excuse me, seem to be.”

“someone should go in there,” jasper suddenly stood from his spot at the door, listening in, his mouth beginning to grow dry as he stood up anxiously, looking between bellamy and the rest of your friends listening with just as slack and uncomfortable expressions; taken aback.

he made a move to go in but bellamy quickly stopped him, “just wait.”

“bellamy-”

“but then again, the strongest of us always seem to carry the most. you would know wouldn’t you?”

your mouth twitched from frowning deeper as you thought of all the past torment, from the moment you were born to the moment you landed on the ground.

“shall we talk about why you took the chip?”

“we can talk about whatever you want,” you leaned forward with your elbows on your knees.

this couldn’t get any worse than it already was.

“i want you to choose. bellamy or mount weather?”

you swallowed harshly, but your voice was still stern as you stared at her with narrowed eyes, “neither,” you leaned forward, thinking of the many flaws to weaknesses that centered in your heart just with the those topics. “i want to talk about you, raven, only you.”

“deflecting the question won’t work, y/n,” she almost glared at you, “you said we could talk about what i wanted and now i made a decision; i want to talk about what happened in mount weather after you got shot.”

your face dropped and you didn’t even try to hide it, remembering exactly what she was talking about and the room suddenly felt hot and you wanted to leave but you felt completely sucked in like she was a vacuum, giving you no choice but to get swallowed.

“you were pregnant, right?” raven’s head dipped to the side, already knowing she had gotten to you despite your face no longer showing a sign of distress. “with a little girl?”

jasper’s gaze, as well as everyone else’s, landed on the side of bellamy’s jaw, eyes wide, holding their breath, waiting for him to step in, to stop it, do anything but freeze up like a stick, struck dumb with shock.. and hurt and a pain he couldn’t distinguish, something he had never felt before to the point he didn’t even know if it was all real.

raven tsk’d, eyes landing on her lap, “such a shame really.” you could see the sick smile that began to climb up her cheeks, making you want to scream, shout, anything to get rid of the pain clawing at your chest. “does bellamy know?” she looks up, as if wanting to really know, as if she didn’t already. “i mean he is the father after all, you think he’d deserve to know.”

he knew now.

“bellamy, do something,” clarke gaped at him, her hand tugging at his arm, begging him to snap out of the trance he was in. “bellamy, you need to go in there. you need to get her out of there."

“he held you... thinking you'd die, completely unaware of the baby inside that really took the bullet," raven inhaled, sighing, her head shaking. "that really is sad, i don't know how you didn't end it-"

you got up and she smiled, anticipating this moment. but you don't do what she wished you'd do. you stood calmly, staring deep into her hazel pupils, amusement snowing around, almost encouraging you to inflict pain on her.

"you're not real," your voice is low and quiet, "you can't effect me. you promote a false devotion and promise a final happiness and safety from pain, but you're flawed and can't even bring the weak of us down."

your eyes dart back and forth in search of some emotion in her eyes, but it seems she goes blank and shuts down like a computer until her jaw tips up, pulling closer to your face, whispering back, "you think that you're so brave, y/n. you think that you're some courageous soldier just because of the luck you had of showing up in the right place at the right time," you feel a hand grip your bicep while the other wrapped around your mid section, slowly pulling you away from the words that ran out of her mouth fast, “but you're wrong, deep down you're coward just like all your friends and my point is only further proven when you took the chip, because admit it y/n, you're scared, you're scared-"

you felt like you had been ripped from a different world once bellamy had spun you around to face him. your body shook internally as realization overcame you of what had all been revealed within that room. bellamy looked scattered as he stared into your eyes with his own wide ones. he didn't look himself; he looked worried and maybe even sad.

very sad.

"y/n, sit down for me, please," he grasped your arms lightly, pulling you down on one of the chair slowly and gently, afraid you'd break under his touch. he was completely disoriented and he wasn't even sure if what was all happening was real.

you stayed blank in the mind, feeling completely drained and distraught to the thought of what was running around in his head right now. it hurt that he now knew everything.

"talk to me," he slowly kneeled before you, "what—baby, what happened to you?"

you inhaled sharply, the feeling of tears beginning to form in the crest of your eyes as you begun to feel overwhelmed—your chest tightened and it seemed like such a strain on your lungs when you tried to breathe, "bellamy, a lot happened in... mount weather that i can't even begin to explain. i'm not even sure what was real and what wasn't."

"i was in a dark spot," it was hard to force out and you could barely look him in the eye with the intensity he kept within his eyes. his heart hurt for you and he couldn't even begin to think straight with all that was revealed with raven. "i can't think straight half the time, bellamy and after everyone was killed at mount weather.. and i was shot... i didn't feel like the same person anymore.. nothing felt right..."

you choked. your voice caught in the back of your throat as you attempted to explain yourself but he stopped you, shushing your voice as your tears begun to slowly fall and paint your cheeks. he pulled you close by the back of your neck, stroking his thumb against your scarred skin while the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you to him and his warmth. he held you tightly and so hard, that his ribs hurt but he didn't care because he was afraid that you'd slip from his grip, like you had before.

but you stayed and you held him just as tight, allowing yourself to sink, because this was the only thing that truly felt right.

navigation.

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter @myalupinblack @cc13723things @uselesssapphickitten @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @itzstacie @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @dayanaralight @nyx3028 @hizziestial

death era.

part eight of n/a.

ricky rocks. flash back episode !!!

“everyone needs to just shut up,” echo doesn’t look at any of them and yet her eyes are wild and unable to stay in one place. “we have to figure a way out of here.”

she can feel her heart in her throat upon the dawning reality that she had no plan and half the people in the room with her were a bunch of dimwits.

“that’s kinda a hard thing to do when you told us to shut up.”

“keep your comments to yourself before i take that gun back, john.”

murphy rolls his eyes at the sound of his name; at the sound of the way she says it. it’s always so hostile and harsh whenever it comes out of her mouth and it only makes him hate it more.

it reminds him of the way his mother used to say it.

“why don’t we just leave, simple as that?”

“we can’t just do that, murphy. there are still other people here,” raven still sits on the floor, watching the two.

“yeah, people that are probably already dead and if not, who do you think the ones that are gonna get killed going to be when we come to their rescue?”

“that’s so classic of you, murphy.”

“what do you suggest we do then?” he turns his chin fast to face octavia who gives him an irritated look.

wow, wasn’t he just a crowd pleaser today.

“we wait till bellamy wakes up.”

“bellamy?” murphy looks disgusted, glancing down to him and his peaceful state in octavia’s lap. “i like him much better knocked out.”

“we don’t have time for that… or this,” echo shakes her head, interrupting the nasty stare octavia gave that would ultimately lead to an argument. “you better hope he wakes up soon because i’m not carrying him.”

“maybe if you didn’t hit him so damn hard.”

“hey, shut it, murphy. otherwise you’ll be right with your pal, bellamy.”

he grumbles, turning his shoulder away from them, “what’re you looking at?” his eyes suddenly meet the face of a boy he had never notice up until now.

the skinny boy with black hair was quick to put his hands up in defense, scooting further away from the menacing stare murphy continued to force in on him.

“that’s what i thought, string bean.”

this was the least ideal situation to be in with the least ideal group to be together. outside of this moment, not one of them would have willingly step foot to be among one another.

although the base was big but filled with a small amount of people, their worlds barely ever collided.

“alright, what do you wanna do echo?”

she blinks, looking down to raven who looks like a little kid with her legs crossed. she feels her chest swell up with importance at the undivided attention and suddenly a drive of adrenaline flows through her veins once again.

echo hated everyone. it was easy to tell. her parents died at her ripe age of 7 where she was handed off to a strict military woman who beat her own values of no remorse, empathy, or emotion into her. that woman died the moment the virus took over the base and echo couldn’t have been more happy—until they didn’t let her leave.

no one was allowed to leave, for their own good as they would say. the remaining adults of the base had an idea that they could repopulate and help rid of the disease that turned the dead into living once more. but here they were, the remaining adults being what they feared and echo being in a room of people she hated—except raven. now, she could stand raven.

“i’m all ears. whatever you need me to do, i’ll do.”

echo smiles, yeah, she didn’t mind her at all. raven was the only one with a couple brain cells who could function.

“try to wake boy toy up, then let’s kill the rest of these fuckers.”

**

it didn’t take much to wake bellamy up, but it took a lot to calm him down.

“why would i trust you?”

“because i’m the one with the gun,” her teeth shine past her lips in a snide look at his clear upset state.

it only provoked him more, taking a step closer, but echo is far from fazed. she knew bellamy and the type of person he was, therefore she felt far from inferior when around him like she knew he was trying to do.

before the fall, echo spent her whole first year in basic combat training with him due to him shadowing the instructor. he was a douchebag who thrived on proving his superiority over the younger trainees, including echo.

“bellamy, just listen to her,” octavia forced herself into his peripheral vision, hoping he’d step away from her. “we have no other options and echo knows what she’s doing.”

“and i don’t?”

“you seem to have forgotten she had you out cold moments ago, buddy.”

“murphy, i’ll kill you.”

“woah, woah, woah,” mock marinates in his voice. “she’s the one with the gun, don’t think she’ll let that happen.”

“i wouldn’t be against it.”

civility was hard to achieve, especially in the beginning.

“will you all just calm down,” raven stands a foot back with her arms crossed. “if we want to get out of here, we need to execute now. the breakers are all the way on the other side of the building and who knows how many scavs are outside this door.”

it took five minutes for raven to come up with a plan to get out and that was through the breakers—the security and maintenance room, where everything was watched through cameras and where the switches to shut down all the power was. in order to leave, all the security monitors, locked doors, and ultimately the big gate at the front of the base that kept all of them in was all electrically ran and needed to be shut down.

so to get out, shit needed to be shut down.

bellamy finally breaks away from echo, turning his gaze to the other girl, “how do you expect to do that with the millions of doors that you all need a pin to, leading to that room?”

“it’s not hard,” a voice sounds from behind them all, causing them to turn. “if you break the panel and move one wire to another, the door opens just as easy as if you were to know the pin.”

they stare at him blankly in surprise as raven tries her best to conceal her smile, already anticipating this. the boy swallows nervously at the pressure of their uninviting stares suddenly on him, “it’s easy. a 10 year old could do it.”

bellamy narrows his look on him even more, “what’s your name?”

“monty. monty green,” he takes a step closer, almost expecting to shake his hand—but bellamy’s hostile stare made him rock back on his feet.

“and then after that, monty? the only people who had access to the breaker room were ones with a key card.”

“good thing i’m in charge then.”

they all turn back to echo who holds out a white and green plastic key card in all its glory.

“how the hell did you get a key card? sargent wouldn’t even clear you for a gun,” murphy narrows his gaze on her with confusion, slowly stepping forward.

“they don’t even hand those out to guards.”

“well, good thing i’m better than a guard,” she smirks, stuffing it in her back pocket. “now let’s go.”

**

the hallways were eerily empty.

echo had her mask pulled back up to the base of her face where only her dark eyes were the most distinguishable feature to the others. she scanned the little space that filled the area, leading the group down what seemed to be the hallway to their doom.

she didn’t like it one bit.

moments before she had knocked bellamy unconscious, she had watched the scavs from the watch tower take over every little home and minor building, burning them to the ground after ransacking each one. they would have no where else to be but the inside of this building—and yet, no one in sight.

“this doesn’t feel right.”

“what, you scared?”

murphy doesn’t reply.

“maybe they just all left.”

“that’s wishful thinking,” echo’s low voice sounds hollow as she leads them around a corner and toward the entrance where authorized staff only was printed largely on a sign nailed to the surface of the doors. she gripped her rifle tighter and tighter as seconds passed by with no sound, no movement, and no person was in sight.

bellamy followed from the back with his own gun that echo was reluctant about giving him until he reminded her he was their best shot.

the silence was a blessing. there were nights where bellamy longed for this type of stillness, for the break down of his up tight lifestyle. and now here it was, handed to him in his lap, yet something was off and this felt even worse compared to the norm.

“already, green, time to shine,” echo dropped her gun from position as well as pulling down the cloth that concealed her face. she glanced to bellamy, sharing a look of agreement that they were still in the clear. “get this door open and you’re golden.”

he nodded, dropping to his knees before the pin pad that was placed neatly next to the steel door. they watch him pop the cover off simply before once again pulling another layer that concealed the wiring to the door. he rips at the nest of colorful snakes before glancing at them all, smiling at their narrowed looks.

“i used to watch my dad do this all the time as a kid, wanted to be just like him. so while you all were sent to train and beat your bodies down, i was taught this,” he works as he speaks before finally pulling away and looking to the door. they follow his gaze but are met with disappointment when there’s no sign of acceptance to his fiddling.

monty makes a sound of confusion, a crease forming between his brow as he looks at the door, then the mangled key pad.

“i’m guessing that’s not supposed to happen.”

“what clued you on to that?”

“they must have changed their wiring in the past month, otherwise i don’t understand why this wouldn’t have worked,” he still stares at his work, disappointed.

“so… we can’t get in?” bellamy is losing patience.

“no, we can. it’ll just take me a lot longer.”

“how much longer?”

“say, 7 minutes.”

“christ,” bellamy pinches the bridge of his nose. “we don’t have that time.”

“we actually don’t know what time we do have… considering-“

“murphy, shut the fuck up. i’m not waiting that long, i’ll find another way.”

“bellamy, you can’t just-“

he’s right back around the corner and toward where they came from with no attempt to listen to their persistence. he was impatient and itching to get out of that building. if he didn’t find a way soon, he would lose his mind.

these hallways with florescent lights were the center of his nightmares. he found himself lost in what was an exact replica of it, wandering and desperate to get out. just like right now.

he grew up in these halls. every waking moment of his life were spent within these halls of the base. he hated it. he wished the scavs would have burned down this building first.

“don’t move.”

there was a nose of a gun suddenly practically pressed to bellamy’s own nose. he jerked back out of shock, neglecting to process who was on the other side of the rifle till he found himself pinned.

“who are you? why’re you here?”

bellamy’s eyes find theirs before anything else till the question is repeated again, “huh? who the fuck are you?”

a girl.

he finds himself slowly lower his arms upon realization, “who’re you?”

“your worst fuckin’ nightmare if you don’t give me a straight answer.”

he recognized this girl.

“relax, i’m just trying to get out of here.”

“hard thing to do when the gates won’t open.”

“you’re trying to get to the breakers,” he speaks his thoughts aloud.

her eyes narrow, “why would you know that?”

“because you’re not the only one trying to escape.”

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter r @cc13723things @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @ritz-hell-hotel @fruitiseavey @kayalect @strnqer @mystic-writings @moonlighy @straightzoinked @thelaststraw3 @alexxavicry @esposadomd @lupinsluvbot

i do what i have to do.

pairings. bellamy blake x fem!reader

part two of two.

about. in which you point your gun at someone you never thought you’d point it at.

warnings. swearing

ricky rocks. look who finally finished a year old one shot/fic/whatever you call it 🤗🤗

bellamy coudn’t hurt you even if he wanted to. so, when mumbling the words, ‘move or i’ll kill you’, you could see right through his bluff by the way his eyes so willingly betrayed him, filled with... hurt.

in all truth, bellamy believed you would have shot him if it would have come down to that, and maybe that’s what pained him most. he wouldn't hurt a hair on your head, and you would have, but only for the best interest and safety of arkadia and your friends. 

you never wanted to hurt bellamy, but recently you really, really wanted to slap him upside the head for all the stupid shit he had been doing. and maybe a gun scare would knock some sense into him, or maybe it would only put him deeper into the hole pike was digging for him. 

bellamy yanked you to your feet quickly after the two of you had seemed to have recovered from all the commotion that had just taken place. you weren't sure whether or not he wanted to get you away from the increase in rowdy crowd or to have his way with you first. 

you were beginning to think it was the last option as he marched down the hall with you in front of him, gripping your left arm while the other pressed against your back. one, two, three, four more steps before he shoved you into one of the guards rooms, his room. 

“what the hell do you think you’re doing?” he let go of your arm with a slight shove causing you to stumble forward a bit. he looked angry, more than you had ever seen him and more than you would have ever wished to see.

“bellamy, don’t start with me,” you mumbled, raising a finger to harshly accuse him... for something. “if you’re going to kill me, just get it over with.”

he scoffed, looking beyond dumbfounded with his mouth slight agape, not believing the words that had just came from your mouth.

“stop fucking talking,” he needed to think. he begun to pace back and forth, and you had no idea what to do with yourself as you watched him. “i need to get you out of here.”

"what?"

he gives you a dumbfounded look that was filled with a sense of urgency, "y/n, you just shot someone that can have you dead within seconds. you don't leave, someone’s going to do exactly what you did, and take justice into their own hands."

"you should have let me finish the job."

"we're not starting this," he grips your shoulder before pushing you by your upper back. "people are leaving. o, kane, miller—you go with them. you stay, they'll kill you."

"how do you know this?" you mumbled, glancing back at the mention of your friends and the planned escape you all had developed. bellamy was considered a traitor to you all, so he would be the last person on your list to concern with the escape plan. 

"eyes everywhere."

you narrow your brows at him, "you're coming with."

he narrows his brows in shock, not expecting you to say this, you share the same expression, also shocked by yourself. the past month would explain this--not only had you watched your world at arkadia fastly crumble after the slow rebuild of humanity, you also witnessed your relationship with bellamy slowly tank moment after moment while his with pike was created.

so, offering passage was an absurd idea. after all the betrayal.

he seems to wince after his surprisal settles but is quick to keep a straight face as best as he can, "you're getting the wrong idea."

"am i?"

"we're not friends anymore, y/n. this isn't old times," his words are intentionally stinging, but you don't miss the look on his face that betrays him. "you can't save me if that’s what you’re thinking. I don't need to be saved, i know what i’m doing."

you frown, "bellamy, you need to stop acting like there's never going to be a happy ending for you before it comes true. leave with us."

"you know i can't do that."

"why not?"

"I dug myself in too deep this time," his face was still stone cold, but it didn't prevent remorse from blossoming in your chest. "maybe if you weren't such a terrible shot, this would be all over."

***

in well under an hour bellamy had you out of arkadia, alone. your friends had left a lot sooner than thought and no matter how much begging you did—expectedly—bellamy left his mind unchanged. 

you knew exactly where your friends were going—where they’d be. it was a long and lonely hike but it was enough time for reflection.

you miss the time where you felt like a kid still. where you were young and reckless and full of hope that you’d finally get to be free upon that first step off the drop ship. that you had purpose and will and fighting was something you hadn’t really minded aside from the possible side affect of death.

now you were tired. you just wanted to lay your head down for once and not think about the pointless rivalry purging your everyday life.

“y/n, you’re okay,” octavia pulls you into a tight hug, a certain relief setting over. “god, after we hadn’t seen you, we assumed the worst.”

“i’m okay,” you gave her a thin-lipped smile, “thanks to your brother.”

“bellamy?” she seems shocked, like that’s the first courteous thing he’s done for someone in years.

“yes,” you nod, understanding the hostile tone she almost takes with his name. “i think he might’ve saved me.”

“where is bellamy?” miller speaks causing you to realize they had all emerged from the cave.

"he's gone."

"dead?"

"no,” you shake your head, “he stayed behind. he said he had to fix some thing’s before he showed his face again.”

octavia mentally rolled her eyes, but kept her composure as she watched you, “you’re here. that’s all that matters.”

***

“is he dead?”

“indra has him.”

“bellamy-“

“y/n,” he gives you a pointed look at your protest. “you know that’s as good as dead.”

he was right. pike killed her people, that was far from unforgivable. he’d be lucky to receive death.

“she didn’t kill you.”

he shook his head, keeping his eyes low to the ground, “thanks to o.”

it took a day for bellamy to find you all. his face was beaten and bloodied, but you knew better than to ask what the cause was. he had a lot of enemies at the moment and it wasn’t like this was something out of the blue for him. you would've been surprised to see a clean face.

“she doesn’t hate you as much as you think.”

“i’d like to think she doesn’t hate me at all,” he presses his lips into a thin line. “you’re right though.”

you nod, trying to look sympathetic.

“about everything. i’m sorry.”

your mouth slightly opens in shock from not anticipating his words; apology and admitting.

“i’m sorry too,” you nod, swallowing harshly as you think about having that gun pointed inches from his face. “i would’ve never shot you.”

“you sure?” his voice is lighthearted, but you can tell he’s genuine when asking. “could’ve guessed otherwise.”

“guessing will only hurt you,” you tease, but quickly drop the blitheness. “i shouldn’t have done it, but i was scared… and angry.”

“i know,” he whispers, “we do what we have to do, right?”

“right.”

“then if that means shooting me to knock some sense into me, do it.”

a laugh gets stuck in the back of your throat at the preposterous thought of it. the funny thing was you knew he wasn’t joking. classic bellamy, putting himself in harm’s way.

“me a couple months ago would be more than happy to oblige,” you shake your head, making it his turn to laugh.

“us a couple months ago was a different story. i’m sure we already had guns to each other’s throats.”

you laugh with him, “yeah.”

“never again.”

nodding, “never again.”

you stare at one another now, quiet and calm. you don’t think you’ve ever had a moment like this with bellamy before.

you’re not sure what to do, but bellamy does.

your months of angsty butting heads leading to civilness, then ultimately leading to radio silence on both of your ends due to pike, had killed him. and now, here you were, back in his grasp of more than just civilness, he couldn’t let that go.

“i lied,” he mumbles, suddenly shifting from the rock he sat on. “instead of shooting me…” he’s leaning now, hovering, and just barely resisting the urge to complete his intentions. you feel his breath fan your face; feel, because your eyes are shut. “please, just kiss me.”

his nose is slotted against yours, still hovering as he watches you beneath his eye lashes. his lips are so close… so close to yours, it’s killing him that he waits.

“i’m sorry, but i have to do this,” he smiles before finally pressing his lips against yours.

@thecraziestcrayon @mynewnamedoesnotmatter @myalupinblack @cc13723things @Uselesssapphickitten @black-rose-29 @reality-runaway @let-love-bleeds-red @rudypankowisdaddy @the-anxious-youth @kitkat-mini @itzstacie @deadbeatbarb @phantompogues @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @dayanaralight @nyx3028 @hizziestial @ritz-hell-hotel @fruitiseavey @kayalect @deathtobarbie @areil4 @strnqer @mystic-writings @gbrownn @moonlighy @straightzoinked @thelaststraw3 @navyabhatnagar @alexxavicry @esposadomd @lupinsluvbot

change

the 100 [ bellamy blake x reader ]

type : angsty, maybe a bit fluffy?

tropes: forced proximity, best friends to lovers

warnings: mentions of anxiety, heavy language, lowkey manipulative bellamy

in which bellamy blake and reader used to date but when he spiraled after octavia was arrested and his life fell apart, he distanced himself from her. after he begs her to trust him blindly and she does, they have to figure out their relationship on earth as neither of them is able to let it go.

a/n: hii, this is my first piece of writing in a loooong long time but i’m really enjoying the 100 again and i’ve noticed a severe lack of bellamy content on here, so i hope you like it! i don’t think i used any pronouns but i did use the term “girl” multiple times to describe reader! w.c.: 4.831

after octavia was discovered, he lost his job and his mum was floated, bellamy fell into a terrifying rabbit hole of depression. he lost himself with everything else in his life and instead of holding on to you, he wanted you to do better than him; so he ignored you. of course it made everything worse than it already was but it helped to tell himself he was actually saving you, despite seeing you fall apart piece by piece for months. he knew you'd get it together at some point, you had a great life going for you and he didn't want to risk you losing it at anytime soon, especially not because of him.

so when commander shumway approached bellamy and asked him to assassinate chancellor jaha in return of being able to go to earth with his sister and he said yes with barely any hesitation, he couldn't help but think about you, the girl he was so deeply in love with.

so now, bellamy was close to sprinting across the hall, giving his all to reach your door as fast as he could. he was going to earth, he had already shot the chancellor, but he couldn't leave you behind, no matter how hard he tried, not even after all those months of breaking your heart.

but just because he broke your heart that didn't mean he didn't love you the entire time.

you had taken the day off of guard duty, not feeling well as your three year anniversary with bellamy was approaching or, well, it would've if he hadn't abandoned you a few months ago.

although you tried your hardest to get it together, especially because you didn't want to risk your job as a guard on the ark, you couldn't just forget about bellamy. you had never loved anyone like him and no one had ever hurt you like he had.

there was aggressive knocking on the door, startling you immediately. you sighed frustratedly, there was no one who'd have time, or even want to, visit you in the middle of the day. especially not that desperately, since whoever was disturbing your peace got more and more aggressive with each knock.

you opened the door and before you could say anything, you were pushed into your room by a strong, all too familiar man. not being able to comprehend, you simply stared at the tan man in front of you, admiring his freckled face you had missed so much.

"bellamy? wha-", he cut you off, shaking his head frantically.

"look, y/n, this has gotta be really weird for you right now, but we have to leave. like, now. you have to come with me, okay?", although he was clearly stressed, there was a softness to be noticed in his voice that you knew all too well. you also recognized that he wasn't exactly asking you to come with him, he was telling you to.

"bellamy, what do you mean? you can't just come here and, and.. bellamy i don't understand! why are you wearing a guard’s uniform?", you rambled, looking at him more than desperate for answers. you knew that you would follow him anywhere but you didn't want to. you shouldn't after what he did to you.

he sighed, looking around nervously before taking a deep breath in and putting his hands on your cheeks. he held your face in his hands, pulling you a bit closer to him as he looked into your eyes.

"y/n, i beg you, you have to trust me, okay? i know i haven't been the best.. the best to you but if there's one thing you can do for me, even if it's the last time you ever help me out again, i need it to be today, right now", he noticed your big eyes, only now realizing that this might not work out and it scared him, terrified him even. "y/n..y/n, baby please. i'm begging you, begging. we don't have time, we need to go, please trust me, please y/n!"

"okay, bell."

you could tell how much this relieved him immediately and right as a little smile started showing, he pulled you out of your room, swiftly grabbing your necklace you always kept next to your keys and dragged you through the ark. it felt like you were running through the entire space station and when you finally slowed down, bellamy didn't give you a single second to ask questions.

he just motioned to you to be silent as he carefully pushed you towards something you recognized to be a dropship. your eyes widened in panic, what the hell was going on here.

"bellamy, serious-", he simply covered your mouth and shoved you into the dropship before closing the door. as panic overtook you and your breathing got heavier, your perception lessened. without bellamy pushing you around and doing whatever you needed to do for you, you wouldn't have gotten anything done.

you were clearly having a panic attack and while it hurt bellamy to not be able to help you get through right now, he had to prioritize your safety during the travel to earth and before you knew it, you passed out.

{ ~* }

you felt soft taps on your shoulder as you slowly regained consciousness. slowly raising your head before finally opening your eyes and looking around. you were still in the dropship but you were all by yourself, no sight of bellamy. of course.

the person who'd been trying to wake you was a boy you recognized as wells jaha, the chancellor's son. he looked at you, relief basically written all over him as you finally reacted to his attempts of waking you up. "i'm so glad you're awake, i almost thought you wouldn't wake up again. wait, let me help you out."

he started to unbuckle you, holding you up as you were still a bit weak from your intense panic attack. he could tell how confused you were immediately.

"i'm wells, you're a guard, right? why'd they send you to earth with us?", wells questioned as your eyes widened.

"earth?!", you repeated immediately, not believing what you heard and completely ignoring his question. you couldn't be on earth, it wasn't even going to be habitable for the next three generations so how could you be on earth now, alive?!

wells didn't really know how to react, he had expected you to know but you were just as, probably even more clueless than the delinquents. he decided not to engage in any more conversation, respecting your space as he figured you'd want some time to cope, as well as recovering from whatever made you pass out.

you were thankful for being left alone, slowly standing up and once you felt stable enough to walk to the hatch, you followed the ladder down. immediately you were met with the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.

tall trees, their roots covered in beautiful, bright green plants and, of course, many people all around the area.

you didn't care about them though, the only person you wanted to find was bellamy, he had to explain himself. what was he thinking, taking you to earth without even telling you?!

luckily, it didn't take you long to find him. he was talking to a girl much shorter than him; she had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes and although you hadn't seen her that well the last time, the day she was arrested, you were certain it was bellamy's little sister octavia.

you walked over to them, careful not to overestimate your strength yet and once bellamy noticed you, he got tense immediately.

"y/n, how are you?", he spoke up, seemingly interrupting octavia who simply looked at you curiously. while she had never really met you, she knew so much about you. everytime bellamy told her a story to fall asleep to, it was always about princess y/n and once she got older, he finally revealed that you were actually his girlfriend. she loved what she'd heard so far but she decided to lay low, not wanting to interrupt the two of you.

"i'm good. bellamy, what the fuck is going on, are we really on earth? you have to-", he sighed loudly before cutting you off. "i'm glad you're feeling good. you shouldn't stress yourself too much, you're probably still a bit weak, okay? enjoy earth."

the usual softness in his voice was all gone, leaving nothing, but unfamiliar coldness as he walked off. what the fuck was his problem.

"i should've known that he'd leave me again, why did i fucking come", you mumbled angrily. you really had every right to be angry at bellamy, but if you were being honest, you were probably way more disappointed than angered by the man who once loved you as much as you love him.

octavia looked at you confusedly, not being able to follow at all. "what do you mean again, you're y/n, his girlfriend y/n right?"

"i don't even know what i am to him anymore", you answered, feeling tears shoot up to your eyes. no, you couldn't cry about him anymore, you had wasted too many tears on his egoistic ass.

octavia's eyes softened, similarly to how bellamy's used to. she walked up to you and hugged you carefully, not wanting to disrespect your personal space beyond your liking. you hugged her back, appreciating her sympathy a lot and although you kinda didn't want to spend time with bellamy's younger sister, you didn't want to punish her for something out of her power. she had dealt with that too much already.

"my brother can be a real ass sometimes but he'll get over it, i think i know how much he loves you", she spoke softly, smiling at you. you smiled back at her but realized that she really had no clue how over the two of you were.

{ ~* }

days on days passed and not a single interaction between bellamy and you happened. you wanted to talk to him so desperately but whenever you approached him, he'd find a way to get away from you as soon as possible. it felt like you were back on the ark, trying to understand why your boyfriend of two years was suddenly ignoring and avoiding you.

you wanted to fight for his attention, you really tried to but when he set up a knife fight between john murphy and wells, you figured that you had to say goodbye to the idea of ever getting anything positive out of a conversation with him. the bellamy you once loved was probably gone for good and whatever egoistic, violent leader he had become now, was no one you wanted around you.

this time, you really had to get over him.

it honestly made you sick to watch him act like the born leader of the delinquents and it was almost worse to see them follow him blindly. he was leading them to do horrible things, he was clearly motivating their aggression and allowed them all to be terrible to each other.

of course you were angry, but it also confused you a lot. bellamy really terrified you, he was going down a path you couldn't follow and he wasn't anything like he used to be back in the ark, back when he was still your bellamy.

he used to be sweet, loving and caring but now it was so obvious that he was using the 100 delinquents to reach his own goal, you just couldn't figure out what goal that could be. another thing you were pretty confused about, was the fact he took you with him. when he begged you to come with him, he was so different. it almost felt like he loved you again, you were embarrassed to admit that you thought things would get better now, that everything would be like it was back then and you knew that you deserved better, no one, not even john murphy deserved to be treated like bellamy had treated you that past year. still, you just couldn't let him go, so you decided it was time for some distraction.

while you really enjoyed spending time with clarke, learning a bit from her medical knowledge, as well as simply making a new friend, you needed more. literally, you had no one besides bellamy, octavia and clarke and you didn't actually have any of them. you needed to make friends.

deciding to go against bellamy's orders to stay with clarke, something he hadn't told you personally, instead sending one of his little minions your way, you left the drop ship in search for something else to do. you weren't gonna let him tell you what to do, not if he didn't even have the balls to talk to you himself.

right as you left the dropship, you immediately spotted a tall boy with funny googles on his head walking towards one of the gates and decided to approach him. you remembered his name, joshua, or jasper.

"hey jasper", you smiled at him and he immediately smiled back. "hey y/n, i'm just heading out for the hunt."

you raised your eyebrow. hunt? that was perfect for you. not only did you ace pike's earth skills class, but you were also a trained guard. of all the people in your camp, it was safe to assume that you'd be the best at it.

"can i come too? i think i'd be a lot of help", you spoke nicely and without even thinking about it, jasper nodded. his smile grew as he was more than willing to spend some more time with you.

"i'm sure bellamy won't mind", he said and although you really didn't want to be around bellamy for once, it upset you even more that he couldn't even ask you to go with them. he knew just as well as you did that they needed you and that you were the best shot they had, probably even better than him since you actually finished your guard training.

you followed jasper out of the walls, stopping right outside as you joined the rest of the hunting trip. there were about seven unknown faces and of course bellamy’s. as soon as he saw you, he tensed up, leaving you to sigh annoyingly and roll your eyes.

"y/n get back inside the walls, it's not safe outside", he said, voice stern, motioning for you to turn around and go. you immediately shook your head.

"i'm gonna come with you guys, i'm literally your best shot and you won't even notice me, i'll be with jasper the entire time", you complained. he knew you wouldn't change your mind but he wouldn't risk your safety. bellamy trusted jasper but not with you, he trusted no one when it came to you. no one, not even yourself, would protect you as well as he would and although he had been avoiding you for days now, expecting to keep going until he knew you'd gotten over him completely, he had to be the one going with you.

"yea no, you're either coming with me or not at all, y/n. this is your first time outside the walls and i wanna make sure you find your way back home, alright?! however, if you don't want to go with me that's fine. stay back and help clarke then. got it?!", he was convinced he'd make you change your mind.

"fuck you, bellamy. really, let's just go already", you were angry. he was treating you like a complete stranger and you actually felt a bit embarrassed in front of the other people. what was he thinking talking to you like that in front of so many of the others, it was unnecessary.

he was caught by surprise by your response, less because of your words, but way more because you actually chose to come with them. he was so sure you would never want to be alone with him after all he had done but this just proved that it wasn't enough yet.

he should've known better than to expect you to just stop loving him that easily. hell, how could you get over him, if he couldn't even go a single hour without thinking about you.

"okay then", bellamy said before everyone split up and went into different directions. you followed him, making sure you stayed behind.

"you know damn well that i'd be a great help. should've gotten your shit together and asked me", you mumbled and although he heard what you said, he decided not to respond.

you two were walking for a pretty long time, killing some birds on your way. obviously that wouldn't be enough for the entire camp to eat so you kept going. there wasn't much talking done either, you were able to work together without speaking, you had always been able to.

of course it was awkward, but it went fine until a loud sound rang through the woods. bellamy turned to you immediately, eyes wide as he grabbed your wrist and started running. despite having never left the camp, you knew that this was an alarm to warn about the yellow fog that was incredibly toxic and even deadly.

the two of you ran as fast as you could until bellamy noticed something in the ground that looked like a door to a bunker. he immediately pushed you in front of him and told you to go in, following closely as he rushed to close the door before the fog could get you. bellamy turned on his flashlight while your breath was shaky as you put a hand up to your heart. your athleticism wasn't an issue, your anxiety however was.

"y/n, are you okay?", bellamy asked softly as approached you, reaching for your shoulder but before he could touch you, you backed away.

"bellamy stop, stop doing this", he looked at you with a questioning expression on his face. "you know what i mean."

he simply shook his head, lowering it before quietly saying "i'm sorry, y/n, but i really don't. i just wanna make sure you're okay."

you huffed, did he even believe his own words? you were annoyed by his obliviousness and slid down the wall, he did the same oppositely from you.

neither of you said anything for some time but with every minute that passed, you feared that he would leave the bunker at the first chance he'd get, ruining your only opportunity to have the conversation you've been wanting to have for almost a year now.

"look, bellamy.. i just don't understand how you could do what you did. you're confusing me", you explained quietly, not wanting to look at him yet.

"i know, i don't understand either", he spoke back and as your eyes met, you could tell he wasn't lying. "i was angry, angry at everyone, even you. and i know that it wasn't fair, i wasn't treating you how i should have but when i lost everything, i was ashamed. you deserved better than that and i knew you wouldn't just let me go."

"literally what were you thinking?!  i was with you through any hardships you ever had to go through. what made you assume id just leave you, what made you think that after two years with you, i'd just abandon you. what for?! having a sister? i'm not the fucking council, you should know me better than that", you were angry but you didn't want to yell at him, you wanted this to work.

he sighed, he didn't know what to tell you. of course you were right, he fully agreed but what good would him agreeing do?

"talk to me, bellamy", you basically begged.

"i'm sorry, y/n. i have never regretted anything as much as breaking your heart. you were on my mind every single day", he said truthfully, not being able to look into your eyes as he spoke until he lifted his head. "if i could turn back time, i would. i am so sorry for ruining what we had."

you stared into his eyes, giving yourself time to think about what he just told you. you'd do anything to go back to how things were, you missed bellamy so much.

"me too", you then admitted. "you know, it would've been our three year anniversary a few days ago", you said and laughed slightly. bellamy smiled at you, oh how he had missed your laugh.

"i know", he said and reached into his pocket. "i didn't get you anything new and i know that i can't just regift something i already gave you years ago but i grabbed this when i asked you to come with me and i just.. didn't have time to give it to you yet."

you listened curiously, watching him pull out a silver necklace he once gave you. your mouth and eyes widened in excitement, it was your favourite piece of jewelry ever since you'd gotten it, but when you realized you didn't have it on you, you were sure you'd never see it again and it made you incredibly sad.

"oh my god, you took it with you? thank you so much, bellamy! i was missing it already", you admitted, excitement lacing your voice. he smiled again and handed you your necklace you put on immediately.

you smiled down at yourself, carefully grabbing the star charm.

"i missed seeing you like this, you are so beautiful, y/n", bellamy spoke quietly, you simply halted in your movement. your eyebrows were raised slightly as you looked at him, what was he doing?

"y/n, i know that i don't deserve your forgiveness, fuck, i don't even deserve you! but please, i'm begging you to forgive me for what i did. i don't expect it to be easy, but-"

"why did you ask me to come with you, bell?", you interrupted him. it took him a second before he chuckled and looked to the side, then focusing on you again.

"i spent so many months ignoring you, thinking i was making things so much better when i actually ruined us. i already told you that i thought about you every single day and i knew i wouldn't survive to go down here without you", he explained. "i know that it was incredibly selfish of me to bring you here and at first i didn't want to because i didn't want to expose you to all these dangers earth might bring. i wanted you to do better than me, that's why i distanced myself from you, but i was a fool to think this would work. the hold you have on me and my life is actually insane, y/n. when i had the opportunity to protect my sister and to take you down with me, i just-"

"wait, bellamy, why are you even here in the first place", you questioned. there was no way you wouldn't know about his mission but a janitor did.

his expression changed immediately, his jaw tensed and you could tell how scared he was to tell you, but he also didn't want to lie to you. not right now, not apart of this conversation.

"y/n, i messed up, okay.. i did things i regret and leaving you wasn't my only mistake, but i couldn't let my sister go to earth unprotected, alright? i had to make sure she was safe", he rambled immediately, panic lacing his voice. you on the other hand, only got more suspicious of him. "i shot chancellor jaha on shumway's request."

your eyes widened in shook, you couldn't believe what you just heard. "what, i-"

you wanted to be upset at him so bad but something in you couldn't. "is he.."

"i don't know, that was the goal", he answered quietly, not daring to look up.

"oh my god, bellamy! are you kidding me, you can't just shoot the chancellor, you can't shoot anybody actually!"

"y/n, i know, please. i know that i messed up but i can't change it anymore", he sighed before running his hand through his hair. by now, it was finally curly and loose again and you couldn't help but notice how good he looked. but that wasn't the point, not at all.

"do you though? you changed, bellamy. you have become someone i don't recognize, whats gotten into you?!", you got up from the ground, looking around helplessly. "first you shoot the chancellor and then you lead these kids in the aggressive way you do. do you even notice what you're creating?", at this point you were yelling, you didn't care anymore.

"y/n don't yell at me", he said but you just shook your head. he got up and approached you but you backed away like earlier.

"for fucks sake, stop telling me what to do! you're not my leader, if anything, you're my boyfriend, or ex boyfriend. hell, i don't even know what we are because you didn't have the fucking balls to actually break up with me before being an asshole. i have every right to yell at you", you hissed and you could see how much your words hurt him but bellamy wasn't gonna stay quiet this time.

"i never broke up with you because i didn't fucking want to. i didn't treat you like it but fuck, y/n i love you", he was raising his voice as well now.

"loved, you loved me, you don't anymore", you said and it seemed like this time, you went too far.

"shut the fuck up, y/n. don't say shit like that, don't disrespect me like that", he yelled at you, knowing full well that your disrespect wasn't even comparable to what he put you through. "don't accuse me of not loving you because i could never stop loving you. there wasn't a single day in the past five years where i didn't love you and you know that this is true, we both do!"

you bit your lip as you tried to calm yourself. the adrenaline was overwhelming at this point but still you somehow knew that he was right. you believed him.

"and you don't have to forgive me for what i did and for the way i'm leading these kids but you know damn well that i'd do anything for you and that i love you", his voice was softening again as he was calming down too. "and i know that you're not over me. you wouldn't have come with me, if you didn't love me at least a little bit."

you took a deep breath in, he was right. of course he was, but you couldn't just forgive and forget.

"y/n, baby, i'm not asking you to forget what i did, please don't. i just wanna know that i am right and that i still know you and most importantly; that i didn't ruin your life even more when i brought you down here", his voice got quieter and you could even hear it breaking towards the end of his sentence.

"yes, bellamy i still love you", you simply admitted, sad eyes meeting his right before he pulled you into his arms.

you didn't resist because you needed this, it was what you'd been seeking for all these months.

bellamy was relieved that you still loved him. he didn't expect everything to magically be amazing again but he knew that he hadn't lost you yet. he still had a chance for redemption and he was going to fix things. he was going to be a better man for you.

his strong arms were wrapped around you tightly, holding you against his chest as he also enjoyed feeling your touch again.

"i love you so much, y/n. i'll fix everything, okay? i will never hurt you ever again and we can work through this, if you want to. i missed you so much, baby", he said. his hand was now holding your cheek as he looked into your glossy eyes.

you nodded, believing him again.

you were hoping that he was saying the truth, that he would never mess it up again. you just wanted to love him again, but you weren't stupid, things, he would have to change first.

Y’all should I work on the Bellamy Blake x reader I have in progress or the Coriolanus Snow x reader I have in progress?