Batman Family - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

Damian: Grayson, am I ugly?

Dick: Nonsense. I'm looking at you right now. You're the most beautiful boy in the world.

[meanwhile]

Tim: Jason, am I ugly?

Jason: Very much.

Jason found out that the easiest way to get the things he wants from Bruce and Dick is to be the slightest bit cute. Chaos follows.

Bruce: Tell me again why you let Jason drive the Batmobile behind my back?

Dick: [mumbles]

Bruce: hn?

Dick: He called me big brother okay! He said please! He pulled the little wing card! I caved Bruce! I caved under the pressure!

Bruce: You can look Darkseid in the eye and crack jokes but the moment Jason says please you crack under pressure?

Dick: like you wouldn’t crumble into dust if he said “Hey Dad can I have a rocket launcher please?”

Bruce, thinking about it: … yeah I would fold like laundry.

Dick: Exactly!

you guys know exactly what's gonna happen next

words are really, really, really fucking annoying sometimes okay?

for full discretion: yes, those nudes are from the sims, why did you ask?

ayt so when i asked people if they wanted some wholesomeness to maybe distract ourselves from the whole wide world, they rly rly wanted wholesomeness, so i give you this! 

i really couldnt fathom a situation where they would ever be lovey-dovey to bruce through text or chat, so i think it would be easier to do it over social media but in the veil of batman and only for a good reason! so, thus, batman day!

p.s. idk if jason’s random “yeet” at the end is funny to anyone but me but i used to add yeet whenever things got too Real and Emotional so 

Oh I have a list. I'm going to be blocked for some of this and you know feel free to debate me on this I want to have a constructive conversation on some of this. Plus there is no way that I can read every comic ever and remember everything so if mistakes are made I am human.

1. Bruce Wayne/Batman as a character works best when you have him go on a slow but consistent downward spiral where you have him start off with as good of a rich capitalistic boy can be but have him slowly get worse as he gets consumed with more paranoia and emotions he can't properly process because he was never given the proper environment or tools to do so. Have him good from a fairly decent parent and have in decline every so slowly into a worse parent.

2. Alfred Pennyworth is a very flawed character and has picked side multiple times despite claiming (sometimes) to be neutral in a conflict. He has negatively impacted the children he cares for and abandoned his own family to continue working full time with Bruce. (Pennyworth has a daughter BTW).

3. TimSteph was a messy teenage relationship that failed because of at its core very teenage things (miscommunication) but the problems were only made worse but the adults in their lives. They both had their faults and were both horrible to eachother in many ways but they were also very sweet and cared for eachother. To not acknowledge the roles they played in eachother's lives is to disregard a lot of characterization and growth as well as a lot of trauma.

4. Tim is a brilliant character but he is flawed and very annoying some of the time. He says things and does things that make him a complicated flawed but still ultimately good character. The gun Batman story is stupid and should not be revised again. We can explore Tim's flaws in other ways that doesn't bring in gun batman.

5. Jason did more for the plot by being dead than by being alive, and he haunted the narrative perfectly fine. He did not have to be brought back as a character later on. The Batfam was going strong without him and his characterization has only gotten worse throughout the years and most of the storyline he has been in recently is grossly misrepresenting both his Robin character and his later character.

6. Babs is a flawed character and makes some of the same mistakes as Bruce as to boil her down to 'girlboss' is stupid and misogynistic. Making babs Batgirl again is ablist and removes the character growth she had as a character beforehand. She was better as Oracle.

7. Dick Grayson is oversexualized and mischaracterized. It needs to stop. Make him go back to being asshole traumatized adult who only tolerated Bruce for short periods of time. Dick should be a character outside of Gotham related characters.

8. Stephanie Brown has been mistreated by the comic makers and the fandom and what the fandom has done to her character has not fixed the problem, only made it worse.

9. Cassandra is an amazing character but has been whitewashed and infantalized, and tokenalized. She is a complicated character but by many has been reduced to a one note character who is secondary to the the 'batboys'.

10. Helena Bertinelli deserves to have her characterization back and to have the traits that were stollen from her given back. Her writing as a character and vigilante anti-hero is better than Jason, and to give her characterization to Jasonbis wrong.

11. The Batfamily is not a nuclear family and they only get along and work together in smaller groups. They are all together tolerable but antagonistic coworkers but in smaller pairs or groups familial relations.

12. The Joker should be dead and some other big bad should become the focus. Joker as villian has been beaten to death and not interesting anymore. DC has plenty of other very fascinating characters that they could use.

13. Harley Quinn is a problematic character that needs to be written by other people.

14. There's something about boiling Tim down to the 'smart Robin' and headcannoning him as East Asian that feels ickey to me. Like these two together specifically. Just like there is something that feels icky about headcannoning Jason as black or Latino and boiling him down to the 'violent robin'.

15. Batman should have stayed dead. The extended Gotham vigilantes and heroes had just reached some form of normal and a new ers of comics could have come. That would have been more interesting to see than reseting everything.

16. Tim needs to grow as a character outside of Robin and Batman.

17. The Dickbabs vs DickKory ship war is stupid

18. Not all relationships need to be romantic and not all relationships are meant to last. The fandom needs to understand this.

19. Selena can do some much better than Bruce.

20. Talia deserves so much better than what she has been given and deserves a formal apology from everyone.

What's your batfam hot take that will land you like this?

Till Death Do You Part! ✨💍✨

Homage/ Inspired by this Batman Family cover I came across a while ago. I absolutely fell in love with how crazy Batgirl's suite was (that built in veil is everything)! Poor thing has been sitting on my desktop for nearly 2 years, nice to finally wrap it up. 

Elizabeth B.

Here’s the sequel!!! Axle as Batman!!! Yaaaaay

I might share my Manks as Robin or maybe start making a concept for H as Alfred lol

Anyway glad to share this and the speedpaint for this, as well as the joker speed paint, will be on my YT (link in bio)

Here’s some sketches! Anyway hope you enjoyed :)

Dark backround versions of my latest Nightwing fanart

Tim and Jason headcanons 👀

One morning during breakfast Tim keeps excusing himself to go to the bathroom to fix his boxers because they must've stretched in the wash. Meanwhile, Jason can barely move and waddles into the kitchen like he has a rubber band around his legs. Imagine the horror when they connect the dots and realize their underwear got swapped

One day Tim's room suddenly starts to smell like tomatoes and he tears it apart trying to find the source. Turns out Jason put soup in the humidifier

Jason: *gives Tim an iced coffee*

Tim: "You put salt in it"

Jason: "No I didn't"

Tim: "I can literally see the crystals"

Jason: "What crystals?"

Tim: "Right there, all settled at the bottom"

Jason: "That's how the coffee is"

Tim still owes Jason for the time Jason stopped him from faceplanting in Alfred the cat's litter box

Contrary to how it appears, Jason's hair is thicker. It's so thick that Tim accidentally drops a glob of mayonnaise in it and Jason doesn't notice until he combs his hair hours later

They get bunk beds on a mission. Tim gets the top bunk after losing rock-paper-scissors. While he's asleep, Jason moves the ladder to the other side

Jason puts a cockroach on Tim's desk thinking he'll freak out. Tim, who's on his third day without sleep, looks Jason dead in the eye and eats it

As a kid, Jason often re-wore dirty clothes until he absolutely had to go to the laundromat meanwhile Tim washed his more frequently in small batches so he wouldn't get told off for having a huge pile. Cut to the present day where Tim's sifting through a mountain of Jason's laundry for a pair of socks and Jason is offering zero help whatsoever

They stand out in the rain to see who gets drenched first. It's usually Tim—he absorbs water like a paper towel. Jason then gets in trouble because Tim could've gotten sick ("Thanks, Bruce, not like I'm soaked to the bone too")

And when Tim gets sick, he refuses to take his meds unless someone sneaks it into his food. Finally, Jason has a use for the NyQuil Chicken TikTok

Jason drives three hours from an out-of-state safehouse to hide in Tim's closet and scare him. Little does he know, Tim is in the closet at the safehouse, waiting to pounce on Jason

Jason peels a pride sticker off a villain's car and gives it to Tim

Jason mixes all the Goldfish crackers into a dough and bakes them into a single giant Goldfish. Why? 'Cause he can, and Tim needs something to test his new food pic filters on

In March their patrols end by meeting at McDonald's for Shamrock Shakes

Tim prank calls Jason and convinces him he's lost in Metropolis. Eight hours, countless Bizarro flights, and two unfortunate geese encounters later, Jason storms into the Batcave while Tim simply grins and asks, "What'd you think of my new VPN?"

Tim and Jason find a wheelbarrow at a crime scene and keep it after the case is closed because it's a free wheelbarrow. This happens twice more and now they have enough for a family wheelbarrow race

Bruce makes them spend more time together, so Jason decides to teach Tim the Three-Card Monty. Tim just nods along because he doesn't know how say that he already learned it by watching the second Robin out-con a conman

Jason wakes Tim up one morning by chucking a feather duster at him, saying Alfred wants everything clean. So Tim gathers all the dust in his room and dumps it on Jason's bed before going back to sleep

The Ferris wheel has a clear "no food" policy but Tim doesn't listen and sneaks a chili dog anyway. Jason's in the seat below him, and it's the second time something falls in his hair without him noticing

Jason: "Red Robin, do you read me?"

Tim: "Affirmative. What do you need?"

Jason: "Pick a different gargoyle. That one's mine"

Tim: "I don't see your name on it"

Jason: "Check the underside"

Tim: "It just says Robin, so technically it's both of ours"

At one of Jason's safehouses there's a mysterious bucket in the corner of the living room. No one but Tim knows what it's for

dickie and jason headcanons pretty please

Everyone thinks Tim and Damian are a nightmare to have in a room together, but it's actually Dick and Jason. Tim and Damian still need to work through a thing or two and subconsciously pull their punches because of that, but Dick and Jason have no such thing. They've been siblings the longest and at this point it's an undisputed fact that they love each other, so there's zero limit to them being absolute menaces

They've been in a Toy Blast standoff since last year. Dick keeps speedrunning the levels and Jason keeps deleting the app from Dick's phone until he catches up

The bathroom switch in the Bludhaven apartment is outside the bathroom. Barbara kept telling Dick to get it changed and he kept procrastinating, so when Jason broke in and turned the lights off in the middle of Dick's shower, all Babs said from the other room was "Told you so"

Jason: "Alfred, tell Dick to quit breathing over my shoulder"

Dick: "Tell Jason to quit blocking the screen with his big helmet"

Alfred: "Sort it out yourselves, this is not in my job description"

Dick wrestled Jason for an Oreo but also gave him the comfier sleeping bag in the span of five minutes while they were on a stakeout

Jason is absolutely the sibling that chases Dick around the house with a knife for fun when Bruce and Alfred aren't around

Dick: "Get out of my room"

Jason, lurking outside the windowsill: "I'm not in your room"

Dick's outfits aren't truly considered nice until they pass the Jason Test, which is getting a "meh" instead of "you look like you were drawn by a fourth grader"

To brag that he got the last slice of pizza, Jason slapped it across Dick's face

The most accurate ruler in the world is the one they use to split the last candy bar (but Dick secretly lets Jason have an extra millimeter)

And the most accurate measuring cup is the one they divide the last of the apple juice with (though Jason generously gives Dick a few drops more)

The tension is palpable—even the Subway guy cutting their sandwich can feel it

Alfred sends them out to do yard work and they start sword-fighting with increasingly bigger sticks until Dick grabs a rake and Jason whips out the All-Blades

Jason: "I was here first!"

Dick: "I was born first!"

Jason: "I was adopted first!"

Dick has two Instagram accounts—Dick Grayson and Nightwing. Jason has three—Jason Todd, Red Hood, and the verified Nightwing

When the Cave is colder than usual, Jason brings Dick his favorite peppermint hot chocolate but always takes the first sip

Together they stole the bat-plane, flew to Lebanon for food, received a hefty fine after nearly colliding with a fighter jet, got a huge scratch on the side, paid someone under the table to fix it, and put it back where they found it in the span of Bruce debriefing the Justice League

Dick will go through Jason's leftovers, pick out what he likes, and leave the rest. Later he'll hear Jason walk out of the kitchen shouting "Who the FUCK took the shrimp out of my shrimp fried rice?!"

When they were kids Jason's bedtime was half an hour later than Dick's. Dick still has beef with Bruce about that

Dick is Player 1. Jason is Player 6 because the first time they played he grabbed a random controller from a box of dozen

Jason: "Help me bury this body"

Dick: "Sure"

Jason: "Also I need to delete all record of this guy's existence"

Dick: "Will do"

Jason: "And can you get me a drink?"

Dick: "Get it yourself"

When he first arrived, Jason was resistant to the idea of having an older sibling until he realized he has Younger Brother Privilege

Dick hides the remote with a sword swallowing trick and Jason hates it

They use texts for personal conversations, WhatsApp for vigilante business, and Snapchat for unhinged memery. It's like talking to 3 separate people

They also have their own text abbrevation: DTB (Don't tell Bruce)

They don't apologize, they just sulk in their rooms for a couple hours until Alfred calls them down for dinner and they forget all about it

Goon: "Who's that blue fella? Youse was fightin' real loud"

Jason: "Nightwing. He just pisses me off sometimes"

Goon: "I can take care of him"

Jason, lighting a cigarette: "Go ahead, I'll be here when you get your ass handed to you"

Masterlist of Executive Assistant to the Batman

made by @heartslogos

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen | Chapter Fourteen | Chapter Fifteen | Chapter Sixteen | Chapter Seventeen | Chapter Eighteen | Chapter Nineteen | Chapter Twenty | Chapter Twenty One | Chapter Twenty Two | Chapter Twenty Three | Chapter Twenty Four | Chapter Twenty Five | Chapter Twenty Six | Chapter Twenty Seven | Chapter Twenty Eight | Chapter Twenty Nine | Chapter Thirty | Chapter Thirty One | Chapter Thirty Two | Chapter Thirty Three | Chapter Thirty Four | Chapter Thirty Five | Chapter Thirty Six | Chapter Thirty Seven | Chapter Thirty Eight | Chapter Thirty Nine | Chapter Forty | Chapter Forty One | Chapter Forty Two | Chapter Forty Three | Chapter Forty Four | Chapter Forty Five | Chapter Forty Six | Chapter Forty Seven | Chapter Forty Eight | Chapter Forty Nine | Chapter Fifty | Chapter Fifty One | Chapter Fifty Two | Chapter Fifty Three | Chapter Fifty Four | Chapter Fifty Five | Chapter Fifty Six | Chapter Fifty Seven | Chapter Fifty Eight | Chapter Fifty Nine | Chapter Sixty | Chapter Sixty One | Chapter Sixty Two

Note:

Chapter 31 is not numbered. And Chapter 38 is numbered 39 while Chapter 39 is numbered 29. Like ??? Chapter 53 is empty which is why it's crossed over.

Remember some chapters are longer than others

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

Taglist:

@strawberryjei @khachalala @warrior-ofba-the-blue-moon @reds-2 @michiruspens @jsuislfrost @dcblueberry @kerishet @elvenqueensandladyflowers @freeasthebirds @heirofgreen @delphae @rainarahl @youareunbearable @testycanadian @tiredswampthing @q-loves-you @platinum-here @zxrysky @consultingjedi @memo-rii @cheshirecaine @vegastaruniverse @timmers @kiragecko @veilfireshadows @47a3107 @send-me-letters @dukku-of-catempty @mizuphae @pastapirate @sparkly-key@marudny-robot @acookiesnmilkuniverse @dotsofblueink @shhhh-ok @neamedicullen @miss-choco-chips

How small must the world be for both Bruce and Tim to witness John and Mary Grayson's deaths

Or for 10-year-old Duke to crack the Riddler's puzzle before Batman swoops in and saves the day, long before his powers came into play

Or for Sheila Haywood to leave her son only to end up assisting his killer a decade and a half later

Not to mention the popular fanon concept of Jason knowing baby Damian in the League of Assassins

Now imagine how many other invisible strings could've tied them together

Like what if Tim and Jason went to the same school when Jason was Robin but all they shared was the occasional bump and "excuse me" in the busy halls

Or what if Babs was a tutor and helped an elementary-aged Steph finally understand her homework only for the Browns to cancel after a couple sessions because they couldn't afford it

What if the first person to buy Cass a hot meal was Kate on one of her travels

What if Alfred witnessed young Selina shoplifting groceries but chose to turn a blind eye

What if Jason lived on the same streets as the Row siblings and gave little Harper tips on how to use tools and defend her brother

What if Steph and Duke shared the same school bus, only he sat in the front while she was toward the back

What if the first person to teach Tim how to tie his shoes was Bruce at a gala because Jack and Janet were busy talking to someone important

What if Bette did a DNA test for fun and found a connection in Nanda Parbat but just assumed the results was faulty because she knew her whole family, right?

What if 8-year-old Dick, the day before his parents died, stayed at a cheap hotel near Crime Alley and found 4-year-old Jason wandering alone and said, "I'll be your big brother for tonight"

What if the universe knew they were made for each other and wouldn't rest until they realized it too

Tim starts spreasing a rumor that every Robin is the same person, they just work like Doctor Who.

Even better: no one was ever told otherwise so everyone just assumed they were the same person and the kids lean into it

Bruce: This is my sidekick, Robin.

8-year-old Dick: Nice to meet you, Mr. Superman!

Clark: Nice to meet you too, Robin.

———————

12-year-old Jason: 'Sup.

Oliver: Robin, you look... different.

Jason: What's that supposed to mean?

Oliver: Nothing. I mean, different is good, right?

———————

14-year-old Tim: I'm here! Sorry I'm late.

Barry: Wait, I thought Robin died.

Tim: I got better.

Barry: I see.

Barry: The pants are a nice touch.

———————

Damian: I have arrived. You may now grovel in my presence.

Arthur: Alright, this one MUST be a different child.

Damian: What are you talking about?

Arthur: You are six inches shorter than last month.

Damian: Perhaps you got taller.

Arthur: That... actually makes me feel better. Thank you.

———————

Steph: *walks in*

Hal: Someone tell me what the hell's going on.

Steph: I transitioned.

My toxic trait is that I genuinely think I could be friends with Damian Wayne 😶

*3 minutes later*

Tim: See, Dick I told you I wasn't gonna die. [Takes a sip of energy drink]

Tim finally having a heart attack: fuck

Tim: *dies*

Damian, pulling out a knife to harvest Tim's organs Dwight Shrute style: Better not let these go to waste.

Dick hyperventilating while staring at the cookies: WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE COOKIES MADE OF????

Damian, reading his fortune cookie: "You will commit a crime in three minutes."

Tim: That's pretty direct, right?

Damian, to Dick: What does yours say?

Dick: Mine says, "You will witness a crime in three minutes."

Damian: Drake, what does yours say?

Tim: "You will die in three minutes."