@n0r3xia - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

I will be loveable.

Even if it isn't by her. Even if it isn't right now. I will be loveable. She will adore me. She does adore me. She will adore my body. Be worried about me and completely dedicated to me. Only me. Only want me. My body.

Quick little list of fucked up things I've done because my ed is feeling invalid At the moment (TW)

i remember when I was 7 being physically and mentally terrified to eat anything that wasn't healthy

When I was 10 I would walk around the kitchen while I was eating to try to cancel out the calories and work out in my room for 3 hours a day

When I was 12 I would write down everything I ate that day with the specific measurements ( like 3 goldfish )

When I would cook food using vinegar because I was scared of oil

When I ate a pop tart once and walked back and forth in my room for 5 hours to the point where I threw up at my dad's wedding shower

When during the summer I used to go to the neighborhood gym while my family went to the pool

When I was wearing hoodies and sweaters in the middle of summer bc I would sh after a binge

When I would look at my self in the mirror for hours looking for every single imperfection

When I had a walmart bag in my closet of chew and spit that got moldy

When I broke down crying when I got home after sex and sent a paragraph to the guy apologizing if it was horrible and he didn't love me anymore

Anyways hope you enjoyed my random dump