Actually Polyfrag - Tumblr Posts

Hey systemblr, how do you differentiate extremely fragmented alters from alters who change their identity regularly depending on what media we're fixated on?

Hey sysblr, has anyone had their internal hierarchy break down? What was that like for you, if you have?

We think ours is, if a bit slowly, and I was wondering about the experiences of others! :]

Yeah I get that, at first I didn't know anything about CDD other that some random encounters in internet with OSDDID community content and I didn't understand anything of that, when we finally get my medical recognition I immediately entered in a denial spiral, it was one of the toughest denial episodes I've ever had and it took me like another two years and more personal investigation on the CDD to finally start to accept that what I was experiencing was DID because I was scared and the amnesiac barriers play dirty to you

Amnesiac barrier are very wild and strange, and when you combine them with possessive and non-possessive switches it gets worst, it's a very complicated thing that gets very frustrating when you try to understand it, it works in its own patterns but it differs from sys to sys and that makes it difficult to handle and understand your own case, more with denial and blurry in the same table

Dissociation and amnesia works together in this disorder, and it's wild and interesting trying to understand and find a meaning for the patterns and ways to work form your brain an system

I hope things are getting better for you, and I totally related with what you say

Something that I haven't seen a lot to be talked about in the CDD community is how strange amnesiac barriers can act sometimes

One moment you're talking with the others at front and you're aware of the system, and in the other you feel completely alone and stop knowing about the system and alters like 1-3 months and suddenly they pop up again and make appearance just like nothing happened

When this happens is when I usually get into the denial episodes and start thinking I'm faking, but then they return and I'm more confused than ever

Or when you're normal and suddenly you become hyper aware of your system and start hearing alters that you never heard but aren't new, just the barriers didn't let you know them before

This are just some of the most common experiences we have with the amnesiac barriers and I think it should be talked a little bit more, after all is a primordial part of the complex dissociative disorders

If you want reblog and/or comment your own experiences and thoughts regarding amnesiac barriers!

My most toxic relationship is with our brain

Like, what do you mean the brain is not ok without me? What do you mean I'm forced to front just because the brains wants even though I'm completly fucked up and I can't anymore? What do you mean the brain made more alters like me that tell me they're "another universe me" and even with them existing I'm the one who fronts?

Brain leave me fucking alone

-🐺🦉

Syscord/Systok sucks and I don't care anymore about them, I'm fucking done with the bullshit is there

Thinking I would find some good community (I'm always aware community spaces aren't completely safe, but I know some non-safe spaces that are good spaces to) I ended up in a shitty place

Syscord and Systok are one of the worst things the CDD community has to offer, and I'm telling it as someone who was in both the spanish and english syscord/systok community, they're shitty

We have a lot of fucking and horrible personal experiences with them, and also we have seen a lot of things and many problems, it's fucking toxic and taking something good is difficult as hell

You want a tip? Don't be part of syscord nor systok

Being a polyfrag DID system is like

"Yeah ik I'm this alter... Am I alone fronting? Who knows, maybe, maybe not, am I being influenced by other alters in front? Maybe, maybe not"

And then you forgot you say you were X alter and you continue your life as normal till someone or something reminds you you're that alter and you remember you're a system

And then doing some normal shit you became aware you're not fronting alone and you hear the other alters at front talking or they talk to you/externals so you're now like "Oh yeah... I'm not fronting alone"

Sometimes forgetting about the existing of fronting, alters and all this shit is hilarious and random, it's like the thing that most of the community talks about when talking about symptoms and it's the thing that we forget most of the time about DID lmao

⋆ System ask game: Polyfrag edition ⋆

Remember you don't have to answer all nor give extra information, simple yes or no is enough, this is just for fun and for anyone who wants to do it

Endos this isn't for you, exclusive with those who a CDD and are polyfragmented

🍄- Do you feel comfortable with the term polyfrag?

🌹- How long have you been knowing you're polyfrag?

🥀- Did you pass for the "I think I'm OSDD/P-DID" phase a lot of polyfrag systems seem to have?

🍁- Do you use other system terms besides polyfrag or just that? (Ex. C-DID, RAMCOA system, etc.)

🍂- Do you have really problematic alters that aren't allowed to front because of it?

🌰- Do you have multiple hosts, one host or none host?

🍠- Is the front always/a lot of the time crowded?

🥕- Have you ever coin terms just for your system? Or you just use community ones?

🥜- If you have one, do you have a complex inner world?

🧅- Do you have multiple layers?

🥔- Do you have in-sys relationships? Like family, partners, etc. If do, you want to talk about some of those relationships? (The last part is optional)

🌻- Do you have an internal life? In the sense of alters being able to simulate life within the inner world

🎑- Do you have multiple alters with the same name?

🌾- Are amnesiac barriers a big problem with you? For communication, healing, normal day, etc.

🌱- Are you something heavy? (Ex. introject, trauma holder, non-human, etc.)

🌵- Do you have low or high split tolerance? Do you split more than two at the same time?

🌴- Does being polyfrag have ever made you feel invalid?

🍃- You have subsystems and/or subsystems?

🌿- If you have subsystems, do you have container subsystems?

🎍- Do you have other names for formation/fragmentation besides alter and fragment? (Having more categories for that)

🌳- Do you have a hierarchy or government internally? You don't have to talk about it if you don't feel comfortable

🌲- Do you experience more blackout or grayout amnesia?

🎋- Free question! Tell us something about you, your system and/or your experience as a polyfrag system, there's no rule here, just keep safe important info, share what you like!