I'm A Bit Bored, I Should Probably Work On English Class Work, But My Brain Says No, And I Have No Real

I'm a bit bored, I should probably work on English class work, but my brain says no, and I have no real control, lol.

Anyways, fictionkin shit, this is gonna be talking about my biological parents as Zuki, so there will be trigger warnings. All of this is just to do with my life as Zuki, I have problems with my parents here, but not as bad.

Tw: hinted at sexual assult not said by name but still, physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, child abuse, bullying, scars, burning/fire, and maybe more? Idk if there's anything to add, let me know.

My bio father as Zuki was a horrible abusive asshole. He was not the first guy to get my bio mother pregnant [as my old sibling is my half-sibling from my mom]. He told my mother that if she just had one kid with him, then he would be "happy" (not his actual words but whatever). So I was the kid that came from this "agreement".

But when I actually got the first part[s] of my quirk at the age of 4, which included wings (which came from my sib's bio father pretty much, it's hard to explain exactly), he was fucking pissed but couldn't do anything cause my mother did what he wanted, she had one kid with him (just not the kid he wanted).

At the age of 7, the other part of my quirk came in. Which is/was essentially the ability to "drop" my body and become a "spirit," I guess you could say. It freaked people out, causing a lot of bullying and shit. Anyways, that just made my bio father [I hate calling him that, but whatever] hate me more.

He was always "aggressive" and abusive, I mean, he didn't get physical to me until I was around 5 or so. I also couldn't actually speak until I was at least 7, and then it was about at a like 2 year old level, basically. Anyways, he got physically abusive towards me when I was like 5, but he was always verbally and emotionally abusive towards me.

When I was like 11, my bio father got put into jail cause my old sib got into UA and told Aizawa about him and shit. I was happy that I was "free" from abuse [I wasn't really, but I was at least free from him].

My bio mother had an alcohol problem and would drink a whole lot. She wasn't really ever physically abusive when I was younger. But after my bio father got put in jail, it actually seemed to get worse with her towards me. Idk why exactly, but I believe it had to do with me kinda looking like my bio father and also my bio mother (she definitely had problems with self image and took it out on me).

My old sib didn't see the abusive side of our mother at all. They were the favorite child, they didn't look as much like our mother, I guess. They had seen only the loving side of our mother, which I knew existed but rarely saw when I was alone with her.

I always had a hard time admitting that my mother was abusive and shit. To me, it was deserved cause I was an unwanted pup that she was forced to have and care for. She still wasn't typically physically abusive.

When I was like 12 or 13, my bio mother left me alone in the house. She had slapped me to the ground before fully leaving as I was quietly "screaming" for her to not leave me. My older sib never knew this. As far as they knew, our mother was just really busy with hero work [I forgot to mention that both of my bio parents were heroes]. The only time our mother would be at the house is if I had called or texted her about my old sibling wanting to see her and shit. Then she would come home and act like everything was fine and that she still lived there and took care of me.

That went on until I was like 15, it was my second year in high school [another reminder that UA is a college and I was 18 in my canon]. My bio mother had been in a bad villain attack and was at the hospital and would never do hero work again and would have to be in the hospital for a while (years). After that happened, my old sib ended up becoming my legal guardian and shit.

My old sib was pretty busy with hero work since they were pretty much just starting out with their hero career. They asked Izuku's mom [Auntie Inko as I called her] to look out for me a lot, as she already was, and because me and Izuku were childhood friends who were re-becoming friends again.

Pretty sure if Auntie Inko had the full ability to support another child legally and shit, she would've adopted me. I was not an easy pup to deal with, though. I was very suspicious of her kindness and would fight her [I bit her a few times cause of being fearful and shit, I really regret that and shit]. I was sure that she would abandon me as well one day, of course this never happened [think of the moment in the movie Bolt where Mittens is talking about how "Penny is fake" that was kind of how I was with Izuku and his mom at first].

Anyways, Auntie Inko ended up basically being my parent until I got adopted by Dadzawa and Papamic.

I'm gonna go into a bit more detail, but not too much detail about my bio father's abuse now.

His quirk gave him wolf claws [not necessarily always out, but he kept them out almost all the time] that were able to use some of the elements (fire, water, etc. I guess) to hurt. It's kinda hard to explain rn, but basically, he could have his claws on fire [I use that example cause it was his favorite].

He would use his "fire claws" on me a lot when he wanted to hurt me. He burned me a lot with them, I had so many scars from him doing this a lot. I had one scar across my face that I got from one of those times that I hid with makeup for a long time. Eventually, I gave up hiding it, and when my friends asked about it, I would say it was old, and I just used to cover it up.

His abuse in this way made me very cautious around fire and shit [so yes I was very cautious and scared when Todoroki first started using his fire but I of course never said anything cause I was not about to discourage his use of his fire]. Fur and feathers don't really go with fire anyway, so yeah.

Idk if there's anything else I want to say but at least for right now, this is good. Sorry for 2 vent(?) posts back to back.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/hx/it)

Tw: sexual assault mentioned, trauma/ptsd, I think that's it? All of this is pretty much just past life, and it's not explicit, just mentioned by name.

Anyone else who experienced trauma in a past life that they haven't experienced in your current life, how do you deal with it?

I haven't ever been SAed in this life but I am pretty sure that I was at least once in a past life [maybe multiple past lifes, Zuki is the one that I am meaning rn]. And I have no real idea of how to go about dealing with this.

I feel shitty cause, like I've said, I have never been through that in this life, but it still affects me about as much as if I had. And I don't really know how to talk about this shit with people cause idk how they would react, even those that support and love me as I am [alterhuman/nonhuman stuff included] but having trauma from my past life that I haven't experienced here is kinda different.

Idk, I just want to know if anyone has any advice or anything for this situation.

Sorry for this type of post, I try not to bring too much stuff like this into my account, but I feel like I need to. I'll try and keep my posts more light-hearted or, at least of course, give trigger warnings or content warnings when they're not light-hearted.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/hx/it)

[Before I start, I wanna say I am slightly age regressed rn, so if my message is off or different, that's probably why, lol].

Mood, I was a few predatory animals, lol [wolf, dog, cat, I am unsure if a crow is a predator but if so that too, lol].

I tried to be a good friend to all of my friends, including Toga. Toga and I got along cause of relating with quirk discrimination and quirk diet stuff.

It definitely is cool swapping memories!!!

I've been dealing with a lot of bad memories from my life as Zuki coming back to my mind today, so to talk about better memories and stuff is nice. I mean, yeah, we are talking about bad stuff to do with quirks slightly, but still.

Anyways yeah, it's really cool talking about memories with you!!!

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/xe/it)

Edit: forgot tags, lol

Hello, I decided to come say hi and shit in an ask, lol.

I'm not good at starting conversations, but I would like to hear about any alterhuman or nonhuman experiences or memories or anything that'd you'd be willing to share!

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it) | a fellow noncanon MHA being/creature :3c

aaa hihi!! good to hear from you, i definitely feel you on the 'bad at starting conversations' lol!

the first thing that comes to mind a memory of playing video games with Tomura and Shuichi. I wasn't very good at it, but it was good bonding and i loved playing with them. I would only play the 'silly' games like Mario Kart or Smash Bros, they got too into the 'serious' ones for me. I finished in last place every time lmao, so i mostly spent my time teasing whoever was in second place. Dabi would sit with us too sometimes, either lazily scrolling on his phone or bothering the three of us, trying to help whoever would give him the most attention lol. The others joined in sometimes too, Himiko and Jin and rarely Sho and Toshi if they were hanging out. Himiko would shriek excitedly and bump us while Jin cheered her on and cursed her out. It was good.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to ramble lol!! Feel free to share any memories/thoughts you have :D

I wanna talk about the terms/identities I use for my alterhuman/nonhuman identities.

Alterhuman: I use this term as an overall and kinda a specific identity. It's like the way I use queer for myself.

Nonhuman: Same as alterhuman but more specific on the fact that I am not human. The only thing "human" about "me" is the body that I am in.

Therian: I haven't really been using this term for a while. No real reason just prefer the 2 mentioned before. I still use the symbol for this though [can't remember what it's called rn]

Otherkin: I think the only things I use from this would be calling them kintypes other than that I don't use this term. No real reason other than alterhuman and nonhuman feel better to me.

Fictionkin/Ockin: Putting these together cause all I have are ockins so far. I do use these terms but not as often as the first 2 terms/identities.

I can't think of any other terms or identities I use at this point, will update this post if I think of anymore. I'll probably try and make it clear what is the original and what would be an update.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it)

[Trying out it/its pronouns, this is the best place for me to do it. Cause I don't want it to be in a negative way, I want it to be positive, and I feel like here is the best place for that.]

Random, but can any systems/plural beings talk about how they figured out that they are plural?

DID, OSDD, endo, etc. Any version of systems or plurals

I have questioned DID or something similar to just myself and 1 or 2 friends irl before. I'm unsure if my trauma was "enough" or happened at "the right time" or whatever to be able to cause a dissociative disorder.

If anyone has any websites or similar things to suggest to help me, pls send me them.

I mostly try and stay out of plural/system things cause once again I am unsure if I am one in any way. And to go into a community that I am not sure I am in feels off.

Using I/me/my/etc. sometimes feels wrong, and we/us/our/etc. feel right even if just referring to "me." But sometimes I/me/my/etc. feels fine/right, so idk.

Please give me advice or at least share your experiences if you're able/willing to. Thanks

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/hx) [if I find out I'm a system/plural in some way, this sign off thing will probably be changed around].

I wanna make it clear that while I check my posts multiple times before posting, there could always be spelling or grammar mistakes or even words used wrong or weirdly.

I have a learning disability [it's called Specific Learning Disability on my paperwork, lol], as well as being autistic and ADHD. So keep all of that in mind if you see mistakes in my posts. Also, if you are polite about it, do feel free to correct me.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it)