Or, Incidentally, Ice Ice Baby

or, incidentally, ice ice baby

being so white that the only rap song you can recite word for word is the ben folds version of a rap song

Trying to converse with adults:

Me: Hi.

Adult: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT DOING FOR COLLEGE HAVE YOU VISITED ANY SCHOOLS DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND DO YOU HAVE YOUR LICENSE DO YOU PLAY ANY SPORTS YOU SHOULD GET A JOB I HEAR GETTING A JOB IS A GOOD THING GOTTA LEARN THE VALUE OF THE DOLLAR EH WOT

I actually really, really love and appreciate this. Formatting is the most obnoxious part of everything, and this guy did it for 6,000 hours for a map. Of the United States. That is beautiful.

The Greatest Paper Map of the United States You’ll Ever See

According to independent cartographers I spoke with, the big mapmaking corporations of the world employ type-positioning software, placing their map labels (names of cities, rivers, etc.) according to an algorithm.

By contrast, David Imus worked alone on his map seven days a week for two full years. Nearly 6,000 hours in total. It would be prohibitively expensive just to outsource that much work. But Imus—a 35-year veteran of cartography who’s designed every kind of map for every kind of client—did it all by himself. He used a computer (not a pencil and paper), but absolutely nothing was left to computer-assisted happenstance. Imus spent eons tweaking label positions. Slaving over font types, kerning, letter thicknesses. Scrutinizing levels of blackness. It’s the kind of personal cartographic touch you might only find these days on the hand-illustrated ski-trail maps available at posh mountain resorts.

On Casting

So, I shall be playing the Baroness Elberfeld in The Sound of Music. Oh, the captain's love interest before Maria, you say? No no. Although that's what I thought too. So it was mightily disappointing to check again and find that no, that's Baroness Elsa Schraeder. Who will be played by the pretty, glamorous, blonde, extremely friendly and part-of-drama-group girl who always plays those roles. I googled to find, "Baron and Baroness Elberfield talk with the captain briefly at the party." So hey, whatever. I also get to be a nun, I think, because I get to be in the chorus as well.

Sigh. So. Another slightly elevated ensemble part for me. And the thing is, I shouldn't really be that upset. I mean, I've been in two school musicals and none of the plays, and I'm not much of an actress at all. And instead of doing a dancing show, like she was planning after Into the Woods, our director chose Sound of Music. Because our drama department is broke. But I digress. Our director had me read for Elsa in auditions, along with the girl who got it, but the thing is Elsa has a song. The musical director wasn't even there at the time, and so we sang the three measure intro that consists of about three notes. And I guess I'm just upset because the girl who got it just can't sing. And she's the same one who got the part that my dear friend really should have had last year.

I just wanted, for once, for someone to tell me that I can sing. I only ever make shows because I can dance, and if you dig on this tumblr here you'll find a miserable pile of sadness from last year when I didn't make it past the first day of auditions. You know, the one that isn't even used for anything other than "wow, there's no way they could ever sing on stage in any context they are definitely not going to be in this show" audition. Keep in mind, I've been in choir for four years, I'm the vice-president of Meistersingers, and essentially all my friends in choir are some version of amazing. So it would make sense if I could sing well. But the truth is, I can't sing well. I can sing alright. Hey, I made twelve-person jazz choir last year at least, even though I couldn't end up committing to it. A friend of mine, who didn't bother coming back after the second day of auditions because she didn't really want to and she didn't know if she was called, got cast as a specific nun. With at least one individual singing part.

And wow, I guess I just wanted it more than I realized. Because here I am having written pounds about it and I'm not even done. The worst part is, I knew who would be Elsa, and I knew it wasn't going to me. And at least one of my friends knew it too, because it's just true. And since my mother doesn't really want me doing the show in the first place, I came home and had to pretend to be really enthused about it.

It'll be fine. It'll be fun. But I'm kind of just tired of things just never working out quite right.

the thought of that story thing read by that one guy that one time that was all dramatic and funny still makes me laugh inside.

On Unhappiness

this year has not started off well. i am distinctly unhappy. also i don't think i'm going to get everything done tomorrow.