I Seem To Be Grumbling Again - Tumblr Posts
On Casting
So, I shall be playing the Baroness Elberfeld in The Sound of Music. Oh, the captain's love interest before Maria, you say? No no. Although that's what I thought too. So it was mightily disappointing to check again and find that no, that's Baroness Elsa Schraeder. Who will be played by the pretty, glamorous, blonde, extremely friendly and part-of-drama-group girl who always plays those roles. I googled to find, "Baron and Baroness Elberfield talk with the captain briefly at the party." So hey, whatever. I also get to be a nun, I think, because I get to be in the chorus as well.
Sigh. So. Another slightly elevated ensemble part for me. And the thing is, I shouldn't really be that upset. I mean, I've been in two school musicals and none of the plays, and I'm not much of an actress at all. And instead of doing a dancing show, like she was planning after Into the Woods, our director chose Sound of Music. Because our drama department is broke. But I digress. Our director had me read for Elsa in auditions, along with the girl who got it, but the thing is Elsa has a song. The musical director wasn't even there at the time, and so we sang the three measure intro that consists of about three notes. And I guess I'm just upset because the girl who got it just can't sing. And she's the same one who got the part that my dear friend really should have had last year.
I just wanted, for once, for someone to tell me that I can sing. I only ever make shows because I can dance, and if you dig on this tumblr here you'll find a miserable pile of sadness from last year when I didn't make it past the first day of auditions. You know, the one that isn't even used for anything other than "wow, there's no way they could ever sing on stage in any context they are definitely not going to be in this show" audition. Keep in mind, I've been in choir for four years, I'm the vice-president of Meistersingers, and essentially all my friends in choir are some version of amazing. So it would make sense if I could sing well. But the truth is, I can't sing well. I can sing alright. Hey, I made twelve-person jazz choir last year at least, even though I couldn't end up committing to it. A friend of mine, who didn't bother coming back after the second day of auditions because she didn't really want to and she didn't know if she was called, got cast as a specific nun. With at least one individual singing part.
And wow, I guess I just wanted it more than I realized. Because here I am having written pounds about it and I'm not even done. The worst part is, I knew who would be Elsa, and I knew it wasn't going to me. And at least one of my friends knew it too, because it's just true. And since my mother doesn't really want me doing the show in the first place, I came home and had to pretend to be really enthused about it.
It'll be fine. It'll be fun. But I'm kind of just tired of things just never working out quite right.